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Unacceptable - Season 1 Episode 1 -Episode 1 engsub watchfull🍿🍿 Secret Engagement
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00:07You
00:07Let's a I run the world
00:09The sector might these men from birth
00:12Retirement before night in a divided world. I think pretty people should avoid taxes and two teams of comedians
00:20and adults are speaking
00:22Convince our studio audience to back their outrageous opinions. I said you a racist look over the against the brown
00:29guy
00:30I actually have gotten used to Trump as well. I almost bought a maga hat cuz I like the colors
00:35Will they all find it to
00:38unacceptable that is the most unacceptable thing we've heard all show
00:49Welcome to unacceptable
00:54Let's meet the teams hoping to be accepted by our studio audience tonight
00:58He's a man so stiff. I'm pretty sure his DNA is 90% starch. It's team captain richard. I waddy
01:06I'm joining him tonight is Catherine Ryan and machine conaty
01:12She's a comedian and podcaster who's a star and a half which also happens to be her uber rating
01:18It's team captain John McNally
01:22And joining her is Sophie Willen and Romesh Ranganathan
01:30Tonight two brilliant teams of comedians will be trying to convince this audience to agree with some truly unacceptable opinions
01:36Whoever wins over the most people will be crowned our winners
01:39Joanne as team captain. What's the most unacceptable opinion that you've had this week?
01:43I was triggered a walk past a lot this week. He's not a links Africa
01:48And it brought back a memory, which I think is unacceptable. I miss blazing squad
01:56I remember blazing squad. I'm actually wearing one of their jackets
01:59Are you? Yeah, yeah, yeah
02:00They were the biggest boy band in the world by headcount
02:03They look like they were assembled out of a JD sports and chain first
02:08They don't get the respect they deserve and I miss them. Yes, this is why Joanne's on the show by
02:12the way
02:13She wants to bring back blazing squad
02:14That's our audience today absolutely baffled by blazing squad
02:21Richard what about you? What's the most unacceptable thing you've ever done?
02:24Well, I did once have a center parting
02:28Yes, I look like a heartbroken hedge
02:33So now we've learned a little bit more about our guests
02:36I want our teams to know what kind of people are with us here tonight in the audience because the
02:40show is all about what the audience think
02:43We're now going to ask you to pick a preference between a completely unacceptable duo
02:47There's points up for grabs if you can guess which side they find most unacceptable
02:52So let's see the opinion splitting pair that they had to choose between tonight
02:58It's KSI and Logan Paul
03:01In my mind very much the Socrates and Plato of the modern age
03:06Before we assess what we think the audience might be leaning towards what do we think of these of these
03:10two?
03:11They look like kind of roided hooligans
03:13He could be in blazing squad
03:15He could be in blazing squad, yeah
03:17Although no, he's too hot, they weren't lookers, God love them
03:20Would you like a nice chest tat?
03:23Yes, a chest tat is a red flag for some people though, Joanne
03:26What does it say?
03:27Very much a green flag for me
03:28I think rather than getting a tattoo saying knowledge, just go to school and get education
03:32Do you know what I mean?
03:34And did they start off boxing and then start to YouTube?
03:38No
03:38Drink, they've got a drink
03:40They've got a drink
03:42Their kids make you pay a ten or four in a shop
03:44That is, they're both unacceptable for that
03:48There's water with shit in it
03:52They're absolute tossers, aren't they?
03:55I think Joanne and I have dated men like these before
03:59And that's why we're warm, we're like, I could fix him, look
04:01At least he spelled knowledge correctly
04:05We need your answers as to who you think the audience finds most unacceptable
04:10Richard, what's your team saying?
04:11Who do you think? Logan? That, that?
04:13The most lamentable?
04:14Yes
04:14Yes
04:15It's unacceptable we're going with, just because it's the name of the show, Catherine
04:19We did consider Welcome to Lamentable with Ed Gamble
04:24Joanne's team?
04:25I would say that one
04:26Okay, can I just offer a counterpoint?
04:28Of course
04:28Yes
04:29It's just that, looking at this audience
04:32They are clueless about either of these people
04:36Like, if you're basing it on the facts of the case, then yes, I think you've got a solid argument
04:40If you're basing it on what this nest of pricks went for
04:44I think you've got to go based on the photos
04:46Pure, almost purely
04:47Are you accusing the audience of saying the black man is most unacceptable?
04:51Is this what you're saying?
04:52I'm not accusing, I'm confirming
04:56In my opinion, they find KSI more lamentable
05:02But you're team captain and I don't want to
05:04I mean, I didn't intend to bring race into it so early on, but sure
05:10Have you seen my act?
05:11It's all I've got
05:13I'm about two minutes away from lazy eye stuff and then I move on
05:15I got that
05:17Okay, go, let's see, let's see
05:19So let's reveal what our audience think about this one
05:23It's got to be Logan Paul
05:24Oh, I'm bleeding
05:27With 86% of the votes
05:30The majority of the audience find Logan Paul more unacceptable
05:35Brilliant work there
05:37Well done, Richard's team
05:39Oh dear, Romesh
05:40Thank God
05:42Can I just say
05:43It's too late, you've gaslit the audience from here
05:45Can I just say, I'm sorry, I made a judgement
05:49I'm taking time to reflect on that
05:52I looked at you, I walked in, I sat down, I thought you were racist
05:57Right, it's time to deep dive into our guests' minds and unearth their most horrific opinion
06:02Joanne, who's stepping up from your team?
06:05It is...
06:06King Ram
06:07It's Romesh Ranganathan
06:08In a moment, Romesh, you'll reveal your opinion, another one
06:11And remember, the audience is already on your side
06:16And we will put it to a vote
06:18I cannot see this going well, Ed
06:21The idea of the game is that you have to win over this audience
06:25Whilst the other team dismantle your argument piece by piece
06:29I'm sorry!
06:32OK, Romesh, if you're ready, please confess your deeply unacceptable opinion
06:37My unacceptable opinion is that we should pay the royals more
06:42There we are
06:43So, let's see how many of the audience find it unacceptable
06:47Audience, it's time to vote
06:49Press 1 if you think Romesh's opinion is unacceptable
06:52Press 2 if you think... None of you are pressing 2, let's be honest
06:56OK, let's take a look
06:58It's too late, Romesh, it's too late
07:00Guys, can they vote again?
07:02No, here it is
07:04Oh!
07:07Wow!
07:15So...
07:1792% of the audience think that that is an unacceptable opinion
07:22So let me just make a point here
07:24I said you were racist, look how you voted against the brown guy
07:27LAUGHTER
07:30And to be fair, against the royal family
07:32Yes
07:33Joanne, as Romesh's team captain, are you ready to back this opinion?
07:37I am a huge royalist, as you know, Ed
07:38Yes, as an Irish person
07:40And yes, it is unusual
07:42Yeah
07:43But I am a trailblazer
07:46And I've always had a soft spot for them
07:49So let's hear this, let's go
07:51OK, Romesh, please talk us through your reasoning here
07:54My first point, Ed, and audience
08:00Is that they provide entertainment for the nation
08:04And I think they have great value for it
08:06The royals are essentially our longest running soap opera
08:08There are marriages, deaths, fights, affairs, car crashes
08:13You know, you move into Chester, it's basically
08:16They hate you so much
08:19Move into Chester, it's basically Hollyoaks
08:21Do you know what I mean?
08:21It's better, cos you don't get a paedophile ring on Hollyoaks
08:25No
08:27And I've got to be honest with you, that's the one thing I thought Hollyoaks was missing
08:30You know?
08:31And be honest, they are just box office
08:34If I told you now I had nudes of the royals
08:36Yeah
08:36You don't want to see, right?
08:37Depends which one, to be fair
08:39All of them
08:39OK, which one are you thinking, Ed?
08:43There's actually none I can think of that I'd like to see nudes
08:47Camilla, for scientific reasons
08:49Definitely right
08:51I like Camilla, actually
08:53She's a bit of a slut muffin
08:55I just... I think she'd be a good night out
08:58Yeah
08:59She married the man who said he wants to be a tampon
09:03I mean, that's out there, isn't she?
09:04Yeah
09:05He's comfortable with the female body
09:07He's a sexual beast
09:08He's a sexual beast
09:09He's a feminist
09:11Stick that down to the list, he's a feminist
09:14He's a feminist, he wants to be a tampon
09:18How much more do you want to pay him?
09:20What's Charles on? 25, 30 grand a year, what's he on?
09:22They're on £132 million at cost of World Family
09:25Yeah, and what a bargain
09:27For what they give
09:28Do you know...
09:29But you want to pay him more, how much more?
09:31Let's negotiate
09:32And what...
09:32Are we going to get OnlyFans?
09:34What are we getting if you want more?
09:35Listen, I...
09:36Charles with those fingers
09:37What an OnlyFans?
09:40Cock-sized fingers, yes please
09:41Subscribe the app
09:43Also, if you go past Buckingham Palace
09:45Yeah
09:46You know, there's always people lined up
09:48Sort of taking photos
09:49It's usually me
09:49Yeah, and they're all...
09:51They're all immigrants
09:52You know, some of those small boats are coming over just to see Buckingham Palace
09:55That's...
09:57I'm not saying encourage small boats, I worded that incorrectly
09:59Yeah
09:59But what I mean is...
10:01You've said it now, and we've clipped it up, it's already on Instagram
10:04I think we should...
10:05I'm going to be honest with you, this hasn't gone great for me so far
10:07But...
10:09Also, if you pay them more, they'll do exactly what we want
10:13Harry could do a DNA test live
10:16Yes!
10:17That would be very cool
10:19We could get William to do stuff that he doesn't really want to
10:22Like actually sleep with his own wife
10:23Yes
10:26One person screamed at that
10:27I was in a room with Prince Charles and...
10:32He's fit
10:33Is he hot?
10:34He's just quite attractive in a way that you're not expecting
10:37You're sort of like, what?
10:38Like, it's Matt, he's really old and the hands are big, you know
10:43And he moves like someone who's never had to rush
10:45Yeah
10:45And that gives you a sort of...
10:47Like, so it's almost a dancer
10:49Yeah
10:51I'm meant to be against it, aren't I, on this side?
10:53You're meant to be against it and also, that is the most unacceptable thing we've heard all show
10:57Also, we don't have to pay for that
10:59Oh, we get it for free?
11:00Yes, you already got it for free
11:02Yeah, we're getting the best stuff for free already, he's already moving like a dancer
11:05What are we paying for?
11:06Yeah
11:07I actually did Charles and Camilla's Christmas Day one, yeah?
11:10Did you?
11:11Yeah
11:11Are you serious?
11:12Yeah
11:12Did they book you for stand-up or did they book you to be a waiter?
11:20Applauding...
11:21Applauding the Asian waiters
11:23I promise you
11:24The case is still open on you prick
11:27No, look, they said
11:28Can you bring 20 minutes of your best stuff and some poppadoms?
11:34How should they pay you?
11:35They didn't pay anything
11:36Yeah, I see what this is
11:38Yeah, we've worked it out now
11:40What do you mean?
11:41Civil list, civil list, civil list
11:43What?
11:45Someone wants an O.B.E.
11:48Let me tell you something, let me tell you something
11:50Can I do something, the last thing my name needs is more letters
11:57But this is why it's not worth paying them more because they don't even understand money
12:01They're like when my toddlers are playing shop and they're like, this is 72 monies
12:06They don't know about money, they don't know
12:08If we paid them enough money, they're more at our beck and call
12:11That's the point I'm trying to make
12:12That's what you think, that's what you think
12:14Have you ever tried giving a pay rise to any of the household staff?
12:17They do less
12:18If you put the royal family on more, they will do less
12:21Oh, I see
12:22I'm not on Cameo, H from Steps is on Cameo
12:26You've got to keep them hungry
12:28I wasn't prepared for the H from Steps argument
12:32It's time for a break now, we'll be back in a bit to test Romesh's opinion
12:35And by we, of course, I mean the royal we
12:53Welcome back to unacceptable, the show that will wake up tomorrow and have to send a lot of apology texts
12:59OK, Romesh, you've stood your ground and argued that we should pay the royals more
13:04But now it's time to literally put your money where your mouth is
13:07Here's a little hypothetical scenario I'd like to put you in to test your argument
13:11Imagine you're face to face with these two people
13:14Prince Edward, Duke of Kent, 42nd in line to the throne
13:17Legend
13:18There he is
13:20Jesus Christ
13:22And next to him is Kayleigh, a hard-working NHS midwife
13:26Who works night shifts in one of the busiest hospitals in the country
13:30There she is, Kayleigh
13:37Now, Romesh, I'm giving you £500 in this envelope
13:41There you go, genuinely £500 cash
13:44You can either give it to Kayleigh, the hard-working NHS midwife
13:47Or whatever that guy is, OK?
13:50There you go
13:51Who are you going to give it to and why, please, Romesh?
13:54So, is the aim of this to make me as unpopular as possible?
13:58LAUGHTER
14:00Sorry, Romesh, we don't believe the audience hate you enough
14:04So...
14:05Er...
14:06Well, look, I think it's not really a difficult argument
14:08Mm
14:08Kayleigh, she's obviously got money to burn
14:10She's got a big bouquet of flowers there
14:12LAUGHTER
14:13Looks like she's nicked an oxygen tank
14:15That's...
14:16Which he could do with, actually, could I say
14:18Yes
14:19You know, I've got no doubts about it
14:22I'd give the £500 to him
14:23You'd give the money to him, would you?
14:25I'd have no qualms about it
14:26Look, I think the royals deserve to be paid more
14:28Looking at that photo, that man needs money immediately
14:30Yes
14:32For something
14:32Well, Prince Edward Duke of Kent is getting the money from you
14:36Yes
14:36OK, that's your decision, you're sticking by your argument
14:38But just to make sure you're confident in your decision
14:40Please welcome fresh off a 12-hour shift
14:43Hard-working, baby-delivering, generally good person
14:46Midwife Kayleigh, everybody!
14:48CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
14:53CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
15:01Welcome, Kayleigh, how are you?
15:02I'll be honest, I'm pretty knackered
15:05Aww!
15:06Well, you've only done 12 hours!
15:08LAUGHTER
15:09Look, I've always thought delivering babies would be quite a tough job
15:12Is it a tough job or is it quite nice?
15:15Being a midwife is tough, it's physically and emotionally challenging
15:19You have to keep calm under pressure
15:20But the magical moments stay with you forever
15:24It's getting hard to defend you, actually
15:28I feel a bit like I'm with this person who's shit-faced at a wedding
15:31And I've got to defend them, do you know?
15:33And it's really...
15:34Well, actually, during Covid, I clapped for the royals
15:36LAUGHTER
15:38Kayleigh, if Ramesh had given you the £500, what would you have done with it?
15:42Erm, well, I'm actually getting married next year
15:46Don't do it, Kayleigh
15:48Erm, and we're yet to see for our honeymoon, so it'll probably go towards that
15:51So...
15:59So, Ramesh, are you happy with your decision?
16:03What I'd like to say is, I just think, erm...
16:07You saw the guy
16:09He looks like he's struggling
16:11The question to you is, bearing in mind that you care about people
16:14Do you want that man to not have £500?
16:16You know, that would be nice
16:17Yeah, that's good
16:18Yeah, thank you
16:19Well, look, Ramesh has made his decision, Kayleigh
16:21But luckily, it's not Ramesh's cash to give, actually
16:24It's mine
16:25And because I'm a great guy, I'm giving it to you, Kayleigh
16:27Give it back, Ramesh
16:32Thank you very much, pass that down to Kayleigh, the midwife, please
16:37Give it up for Kayleigh, everyone!
16:41CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
16:42Sorry, sorry, sorry
16:47Ed, that is uncut dick move by you, by the way
16:53OK, it's time to find out what the audience thinks now
16:55And if any minds have been changed
16:57Ramesh, earlier on, 92% of the audience thought that your opinion
17:01We should pay the royals more was unacceptable
17:03And now, after you've tried your hardest to persuade them
17:06Let's take a look at how they voted
17:18CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
17:20I can reveal 93% of the audience now think your opinion is unacceptable
17:26That is a swing of minus one, so that's minus one points for your take
17:30CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
17:37The next round is called The Stitcher
17:39Each team has written an unacceptable opinion for someone on the other team to defend
17:43The goal is simple
17:44Surprise them with an opinion that you know that they'll hate
17:46And make them defend it no matter what
17:49OK, Joanne, it's your turn
17:51Who are you stitching up?
17:53It's Richard Ayoade
17:54Richard is getting stitched up
17:56Here is your new opinion, Richard
17:57Remember, read exactly what's on the card
18:00And defend it with your life
18:01Sure
18:02I believe action movies are peak cinema
18:07Yes, we support him
18:08That's interesting, isn't it?
18:10Because I thought you were somewhat of a cinema buff, Richard
18:13But I think, in a way, I'm a huge fan of silent cinema
18:17And silent cinema is a cinema of action, as we know
18:19We know this from Griffiths, we know this from Eisenstein
18:22And we certainly know it from Keaton and Chaplin
18:24Guys?
18:25That's a loophole
18:26You're creating a cheeky loop
18:27Yes, what Richard does with these sometimes is he redefines exactly what we mean
18:31Yes, you question the question
18:32Yeah
18:34Do you go, do you actually go to the cinema?
18:37Of course
18:37Do you buy sweets and stuff?
18:40You mean popcorn?
18:41And action films, like a pair of x-ray glasses and all
18:45I don't want to, I don't want to look through the screen
18:48Yeah, I don't think
18:49I think you mean, I think you mean 3D
18:523D
18:55Fucking hell, I don't know what's going on at all in this
18:58I can see everyone having a shit
19:01I know how to get you
19:04Jason Statham
19:05How do you feel about him?
19:08Get out of my head
19:09Yes
19:12LAUGHTER
19:13Jason Statham
19:14Acting ability
19:16Fantastic
19:18One of the things I like about action heroes is that they only need one jean jacket
19:22A singlet
19:24Jean trousers, chunky boots
19:27I'd love to see you as an action hero, Richard
19:30Oh, I already am
19:31What are you in?
19:32I'm here
19:35Unfortunately, I think we've given Richard something he wholeheartedly agrees with
19:39I mean, try and stop me talking about them
19:41Yeah, and look, you've defended it very well, so thank you, Richard
19:50Richard's team, you're stitching up Joanne's team, who have you written one for?
19:53OK
19:54We're stitching up Joanne
19:56Oh
19:59Here we go, there's your new opinion
20:02Please read it out as it is on the card and defend it and your team will back you
20:05Of course they will
20:07I truly believe that women are not funny
20:12I'm sure you're not funny
20:12Slightly more spicy than Richard's, I'll be honest with you
20:15Say more, I'm listening
20:16Yes
20:17Well, obviously Roisin, you know how strongly I feel about this
20:20Yeah
20:21I didn't want either of you on this show
20:23LAUGHTER
20:24Or Sophie or even myself
20:26I don't deserve to be here
20:28I don't think women are funny and I think it's embarrassing when they try
20:31OK, Joanne, can I ask...
20:33Sorry, just...
20:34Sorry to...
20:34Well, I'm not going to apologise for interrupting, I'm just saving you
20:37But...
20:38I was hoping you would take over Richard
20:40Thank you very much
20:40So if anyone is coming to see you live
20:42Would you recommend that they ask for their money back and don't attend the tour?
20:47It's a serious show
20:48It's a very, very serious sad show
20:51It's like a TED Talks
20:52I've seen the show, it had a ten-night run at the Apollo
20:55The first show to sell out the arena in Ireland
20:58Yeah
20:58To stone-cold silence
21:01Sometimes I try and tell a joke and then hope a man finishes it
21:05Erm...
21:06And wrap it up
21:07I'm very reliant on Ramesh
21:09Ed and Richard
21:10And erm...
21:11I don't even attend the joke meetings anymore, do I?
21:13Because I just don't know what's going on
21:14I just go, I don't get it
21:15And so now I just chop the lads' food and iron their shirts
21:18To keep my job
21:19And do you know how hard it is to iron corduroy Richard?
21:23LAUGHTER
21:25There are joke meetings?
21:27LAUGHTER
21:28I've not been invited to one of these joke meetings
21:32LAUGHTER
21:32Ramesh, of course, you're backing this opinion on behalf of your team
21:35So tell us why you don't think women are funny
21:38LAUGHTER
21:41APPLAUSE
21:43Come on, Ramesh
21:50Come on
21:51Come on
21:52Come on
21:53Yeah, I just think they're full of shit
21:55LAUGHTER
21:57Thank you very much, Joanne!
22:00APPLAUSE
22:02That was good shit, man
22:03Thank you for doing that
22:06Joanne, it's time for your stitch-up
22:07Who are you delivering a horrible opinion to on Richard's team?
22:11Roisin Carnity
22:13Roisin, here we go
22:14APPLAUSE
22:16Read out exactly what's on the card, this is your new opinion
22:20LAUGHTER
22:22I believe cheating once shouldn't count
22:26Yeah
22:27LAUGHTER
22:30And I think the reason is, it's all well and good saying you're against cheating
22:34But if you haven't tasted a food, you don't know if you don't like it
22:37If you've cheated once, then you know for sure that you're happy
22:42Interesting
22:43That's good, so everyone should cheat as a show of their commitment to their partner
22:48Yeah, I think you'd cheat
22:49LAUGHTER
22:51Is it the full shebang, what about just a kiss?
22:55Ooh
22:55Or an emotional cheat?
22:57No, an emotional cheat is a different conversation
22:59Anything that involves bodies
23:01Yeah
23:02Kissing, touching
23:03Right
23:04Rubbing
23:04I'm from a very small, very backwards town
23:07And people actually do that
23:09So they're together all their lives
23:11And then right before they get married
23:12They do something called a buck and dough
23:14Where you all go down to the local community centre
23:16And raise money for the wedding
23:18Which I think is so tacky
23:19But also, they will shag someone else
23:22Wow
23:22Because...
23:23At the community centre
23:24Hopefully, hopefully, Richard
23:26On the billiards table, yeah, hopefully
23:29One go out and back in
23:31But hang on
23:31So what we're saying though
23:32Is that that is sanctioned, right
23:34So that is...
23:35It's sanctioned
23:35You've got one final...
23:36I don't think that's cheating, Rasheen
23:37Yeah
23:37If you say...
23:38If your partner allows it
23:40I don't think he counts as cheating
23:41What you're saying, in your opinion
23:42That you definitely have
23:43Yes
23:43Is that cheating is allowed once
23:46Which is going behind your partner's back
23:47Yes
23:48Try and make it...
23:49And I stand by that
23:50I stand by that
23:51I stand by that
23:51Because backs are meant to be behind
23:53Yeah
23:56OK, brilliant work there
24:01Thank you, Rasheen
24:06Join us after the break
24:08To find out Katherine Ryan's most unacceptable opinion
24:10See you in a bit
24:25Welcome back to unacceptable, the show that asks our guests to activate their mouths before they've had time for their
24:31brains to get in the way
24:32So basically, just behave pretty much normally
24:36The next round is called outside opinions
24:39Two of our guests this week have invited someone from their life into the studio tonight to share their unacceptable
24:45opinions
24:45Each team will meet the person the other team has brought out and hear three potential unacceptable opinions
24:51They just need to try and correctly guess which of the three opinions actually belongs to them
24:56Ramesh has someone with him tonight
24:57Ramesh, as if I need to ask, who is it?
25:01It's my mother, Shanti
25:04Please welcome Shanti
25:15Welcome, welcome to the show
25:17Thank you, thank you so much
25:18Shanti, please read out your three possible opinions
25:22Mums should control every aspect of their son's life
25:26OK?
25:28So what's your second opinion then?
25:29Vegans are hard work
25:31Vegans are hard work
25:32There it is, number two
25:33And number three, please
25:35The third one
25:35Your sixties are your sexiest decade
25:41Dear God, please don't let it be number three
25:46What's the sexiest thing you've done in your sixties?
25:48Roisin
25:49If you see a good-looking man, I do look
25:54I thoroughly look at them
25:57And their bum and everything is good
25:59So
26:03What kind of bums are you looking for?
26:06What's
26:06Nice bum
26:07When you see it, you will know
26:09You know
26:10You know it
26:11It's very philosophical
26:11When you see one, you'll know
26:13You know it
26:13You know it when you see it
26:16Right side
26:17Right shape
26:18Yeah
26:18Tight
26:19And when you walk, it's wobble
26:22Do you like shanty
26:23Do you like shanty
26:24When gentlemen wear the grey trackies
26:26And you can see the complete dick outline
26:28Yes
26:28Catherine
26:29That's sexy, darling
26:31Very sexy
26:38Richard, any questions?
26:41Catherine just did my question
26:44What's the most annoying thing about being a vegan?
26:46What do you think?
26:47Why do you think it's so annoying?
26:48You had to make special food for them
26:51Yeah
26:51Shanty, sometimes when you're entertaining
26:53Do you just lob butter in
26:56Because it's quicker
26:57And you say it's vegan?
26:59No, I don't like to lie
27:02Because since I retired
27:04Yeah
27:04Two years ago
27:06I'm being very spiritual
27:08Okay?
27:09Okay
27:09I listen to all the prayers
27:11All mantras and everything
27:13Oh, jiggly
27:17I'm joking
27:18I'm joking
27:19I'm sorry
27:20Do you agree that you should
27:21Mum should control every aspect of
27:23You've got two sons, don't you?
27:24Depends on their wife
27:25I don't want to create any trouble
27:27The wife
27:28I mean, that's bullshit
27:33How many times I tell you
27:34Do not interrupt
27:38So
27:39What do we think is the actual opinion of Shanty?
27:42I don't think you'd say your 60s are your sexiest decade
27:45That just doesn't quite sound
27:47Not in the way you were saying it
27:49Not in the way you were saying it
27:49You said
27:50Smoothly
27:51I think vegans are hard work
27:53Sounds like you may well have said that
27:56What are you leaning towards?
27:57I think knowing your dynamic
27:59I think it's mums should control every aspect of their son's lives
28:02Okay
28:03We can say one but it's entirely your fault
28:05Okay
28:07Shanty, please reveal your actual opinion
28:09Mums should control every aspect of their son's lives
28:12That is correct
28:15That is
28:15Thanks to Richard's team
28:17Thank you so much
28:18And thank you for coming on the show
28:20You look beautiful Shanty
28:22Oh
28:28Richard your team will introduce their outside opinionated guest next
28:33And I believe Katherine has brought someone along with her
28:35Katherine
28:36Oh yes, I have brought my gorgeous husband Bobby
28:40Welcome Bobby everyone
28:45There he is
28:47There he is
28:52Hello Bobby
28:54Hello Ed
28:54Joanne's team, you're going to try and work out which of the following unacceptable opinions Bobby truly believes
29:01Bobby please read out your three possible opinions
29:04First one
29:05Sex is overrated
29:08Number two
29:09You should never get back with an ex
29:13Mmmmm
29:14And number three
29:15Drinking urine is good for your health
29:17There we are
29:18Three unacceptable opinions
29:20But what do you make of Bobby's possible opinions there?
29:23Well, I think he looks like a new age lesbian
29:27So
29:28Kind of you to say, thank you
29:30With that, I think that's exactly answer number three opinion
29:33You think Bobby drinks his own piss?
29:35I do
29:35And I think they both do it
29:37Because
29:38I think she's into all this
29:40Yeah
29:41She's definitely
29:44They're drinking piss, breakfast, lunch and dinner
29:51Katherine, put the mug down
29:53Put the mug down
29:56It's steaming
29:56It doesn't help
30:00We'll be asking some questions
30:01You can ask him some questions to help figure it out
30:04Do you think, would you consider yourself kind of like health conscious?
30:07Do you ice bath or anything like that?
30:08No, I do not
30:09Oh, that's so
30:10Well, then I don't think anyone's going to joust right to drink and piss
30:13I know
30:14Absolutely
30:15Er
30:16How's
30:17I don't
30:18I feel
30:19How's the sex?
30:20How is it?
30:23Will you let us know if this gets too personal then?
30:27It's a chore at times
30:28It's a chore
30:29Yeah
30:29I have a question
30:30Um
30:34What's the best sex you ever had?
30:38Can I pass?
30:41Bobby, we can talk about our experiences together, I don't mind
30:44So
30:46If you pass, then it wasn't me
30:47No, I just don't want to make any comments
30:50Um
30:51When did this become a deposition?
30:55So we've considered urine quite heavily
30:57What about you should never get back with an ex?
30:59Well, I mean, I know that they are childhood sweethearts that got back together
31:02So they are exes?
31:04They are exes
31:05Yeah
31:05It would be a brutal thing to announce
31:06It would be so ridiculous it would be almost as bad as saying pass on the sex question
31:10Yeah, yeah, yeah
31:12It would be a big swing
31:14So we don't think it's two?
31:15I think we disregard two straight off the bat
31:16Okay
31:17So it's between urine and sex
31:18I do
31:19Which is how many of my dilemmas end up
31:21I think
31:25Sometimes when I wake up in the morning, I think, is it urine? Is it sex?
31:29Can I come back for the next round?
31:32I'm just going to dissociate from the whole of this round
31:34Fair enough
31:36I need to push you for an answer
31:37I think a lot of people would say sex is overrated
31:40I mean, you could put that in anyone's mouth, really
31:42And piss
31:44I'm a big fan of piss
31:47What are we thinking?
31:48I think we're going to go...
31:49I think we're going to go urine
31:51Yeah
31:51We're going with number three
31:54You think that is Bobby's unacceptable opinion
31:56That drinking urine is good for your health
31:58Bobby, please tell us your real unacceptable opinion
32:00The real one is, in fact, number two
32:03Never get back with your ex
32:04But hear me out
32:06Hear me out
32:07Well, it has been lovely reconnecting and getting married
32:12You know, I now have four ungrateful children
32:16Which is a plus
32:17But what really happened was it set off a chain of events
32:20It disrupted the fabric of reality globally
32:23Right away, pandemic
32:24Cause we got married?
32:26Possibly
32:29Bobby, would you like me to end this segment
32:30So you can stop digging yourself into a big hole?
32:33Yeah, that'd be fun
32:34For Bobby, everyone!
32:35Well done, Bobby
32:36Well done, Bobby
32:39Well done, Bobby
32:41It's nearly time for our next unacceptable opinion
32:45We've already put Ramesh's opinion from Joanne's team to the test
32:49But now it's over to Richard's team
32:50Richard, who are you putting forward tonight?
32:53Catherine
32:54It's Catherine Ryan
32:55It's Catherine Ryan
32:55Okay
32:58Catherine, in a moment you'll reveal your opinion and we'll put it to a vote
33:02The aim of the game is to get the audience to support your outlandish argument
33:05All the other team have to do is to take that argument and pull it limb from limb
33:10Okay, Catherine, if you're ready, please confess your deeply unacceptable opinion
33:14I truly believe that all men should have vasectomies at birth
33:22Okay, well, first of all, let's see how many of the audience find it unacceptable
33:27Audience, it's time to vote
33:38So 74% of the audience think that that is an unacceptable opinion
33:42There's quite a lot of people to win over, Catherine
33:44Not as much of an uphill struggle as Ramesh had
33:46But we'll find out how you manage it
33:49Time for a break
33:50A chance to have a cup of tea, go to the loo, or maybe even have the snip
33:53See you in a bit when we'll hear more from Catherine
34:08Welcome back to unacceptable
34:11Earlier, Catherine revealed that she believes all men should have vasectomies at birth
34:15And we discovered that 74% of you found that unacceptable
34:19So Catherine, tell us a little bit more about what you mean here
34:22So it's too easy for men, dads in general, get too much credit for doing the basic work
34:28Because Bobby was in a coffee shop with our children the other day
34:30He wiped down a high chair
34:32And the old ladies were watching him like it was Julio Iglesias in his prime
34:39Slipping off their chairs
34:42Sliding around in the shop
34:43Like, oh my god, how does he do it?
34:46Women have to teach men how to parent alongside doing it themselves and learning it themselves
34:52And then also for some fucking reason we have to remind him when his sister's birthday is
34:56And when the green bin goes out
34:59Wednesday
35:02Vasectomy reversed
35:03Thank you
35:05They have to prove themselves like Richard just did before they deserve to have their vasectomy reversed
35:10Yes
35:10They have women gatekeeping pregnancy and conception all the time
35:14And STIs and this
35:15We're even meant to carry condoms even though we don't have dicks
35:18And then they put us on pills and patches and injections and coils
35:23I've had enough
35:24The sectomized these men from birth
35:26What?
35:28Wow
35:31It's feeling like it's going well so far
35:34Joanne accidentally applauding that
35:37That was crazy work
35:39I am moved
35:40I am moved
35:42Joanne, of course you have to argue against this
35:44In anger
35:44Do you think you can manage that?
35:45I am moved in anger, Catherine
35:47That's terrible
35:47These poor little babies
35:49I like tricking men
35:51Maybe I want to trick a man into getting me pregnant
35:54How can I trick him?
35:55If he hasn't got any
35:56Sperm in the junk in the trunk
35:58Whatever it's called
35:59Letting the pencil
36:00The issue is though
36:02Would any man pass apart from Richard?
36:05And then we're fucked aren't we?
36:07Because there's no human race
36:08Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa
36:10You said that
36:10Would any man pass apart from me?
36:12And then you said we're fucked
36:14Yeah
36:15I am just saying
36:16No, no
36:17I just like those two trains of thoughts
36:18So I can't hear you Richard
36:19Just to separate a bit
36:21My dad was absent
36:23And I've only got one photo of him
36:25And it's
36:26He was wearing a raster hat from Blackpool
36:28And I thought
36:29Do you know what?
36:29I'm not gonna bother
36:30And that was the right choice
36:33Do you know what I mean?
36:34They're not always that needed are they?
36:37No
36:38Right now men are just so indiscriminate
36:40With their sperm
36:41They make millions and millions and millions of them
36:43Every day
36:44Yeah
36:45Women create of fertile age on average one egg a month
36:49And we know where it is all the time
36:50We keep it with us
36:51And we look after it
36:52And we put forward the best and the brightest
36:54The eggs will come together and they'll choose one representative
36:57They'll go Denise this month it's all on you
36:59And then there are men just chucking garbage cum at Denise
37:03Right left and center no quality control
37:06Just into a stranger's eyelashes
37:08That one's got two heads
37:10He's swimming the wrong way
37:11And it's
37:12I've had enough
37:15Catherine what's your next point?
37:17I think that fatherhood should be opt-in
37:20I'm introducing some basic admin to a very flawed system
37:24So you need licenses for guns because they have the capacity to end life
37:28But a penis is like a dangerous rifle with the ability to create it
37:34Men love that kind of talk
37:37Way to dangerous rifle
37:41Can I ask you that would Bobby pass because currently he's drinking his own piss
37:48Sophie I don't know how you've convinced yourself of this
37:50He does not drink his own piss
37:52Oh right
37:52That was the opinion that was made up
37:54You decided it was real and you would not listen to the fact that it wasn't
37:58He just looks like a man who drinks his own piss
38:02Do they still ejaculate or is it just
38:04They basically data it's not I've seen facts about it
38:07It's not come when after a vasectomy
38:10It's like Robert. It's like Robinson's orange squash basically
38:13What?
38:13Yeah, yeah, yeah
38:15Is it not the stickiness is the texture gone off it?
38:17I actually don't know
38:18I've never sucked off a man who's had a vasectomy
38:21I've got no idea what the texture of post vasectomy
38:25What sort of viscosity?
38:27Don't ask I don't know the viscosity
38:30I'd imagine I mean what's what's your current viscosity rubbish
38:34It's like a paste
38:35Yeah
38:37There will be gentlemen who've had vasectomies right?
38:40You're still ejaculating
38:41Hands up if you've had a vasectomy that still ejaculate
38:43Come on or stand up
38:46Oh, you're standing up
38:47Hello
38:48Okay, there you go
38:48Yeah, thank you, sir
38:49And?
38:51Yeah, still ejaculating
38:52There you go
38:53And what's the viscosity?
38:59That's your son
39:00Hang on
39:00Can I ask, have you been on television before?
39:03No
39:04Didn't you think the first thing that you'd say on television was
39:06Yes, I still ejaculate
39:10But you're sat next to your son who has not yet, I'm assuming, had a vasectomy
39:14He's ejaculating all over the place
39:17It's a liability
39:19Okay, brilliant work there
39:20Thank you so much
39:27Do we think men aren't smart enough to make this decision themselves?
39:31You know, I don't think men are smart
39:32But that doesn't mean I think they should have a vasectomy at birth
39:34Joanne, how are you doing?
39:36I was going to say, I did enjoy the rush of doing a pregnancy test in a cinema toilet at
39:3915
39:39And I wonder, would I miss that?
39:42It's not like a rite of passage
39:43Like kind of a lad building a house or whatever
39:44What time were you seeing?
39:46I was just there to do the pregnancy test
39:47Yeah
39:48You used the cinema toilets and you weren't even seeing a film?
39:51Yeah, I just went in to use the toilets to do a pregnancy test
39:54Because you can piss into those huge cups and I didn't understand what a pregnancy test was
39:57I thought you'd provide like a barrel of urine
40:01You got one of the large drinks cups from the cinema
40:03Went into the toilet and tried to fill it up with piss
40:07Bobby would have smashed that in one shot
40:10He's finished that before the trailers
40:14OK
40:15Catherine, it's now time to see how strongly you can stand by your opinion
40:19That vasectomy should be compulsory
40:21It's a serious operation
40:22So we've got something to help you explain it
40:25Let me introduce you to Barry
40:26Barry
40:27Oh!
40:32Look at the size of that baby penis
40:37Barry is an educational model
40:39You've made vasectomy sound very straightforward, Catherine
40:42So if you could just talk us through how it actually works
40:45Catherine, take it away, feel free to approach Barry
40:49But you didn't make Ramesh outline the finances of how we were going to pay the royal family more
40:53You know what I mean?
40:54I have to deny a nurse 500 quid
41:03All right
41:04So where would you start with the vasectomy?
41:06Oh, wow
41:08Catherine, make it sexy
41:09Men will accept anything if you do it in a sexy voice
41:13That's true
41:13Are you going to be tiling this penis?
41:17I know this is the pelvis
41:18Because I've had mine widen several times to further the legacy of an ungrateful man
41:25So at the moment it seems like you're going to do the vasectomy through the arse
41:29Oh wow
41:30So you guys have a lot of like vessels and things around here
41:33How would you start the vasectomy, Catherine?
41:35Okay, so I think it's very straightforward
41:36I think that all you do is you make one little incision
41:47I mean, that'll do it
41:50Everyone's does that, right?
41:54Catherine, you would make the incision at this point, would you?
41:56Uh, I would make an incision, yeah
41:58Yeah, you've not given any anesthetic yet
42:00Well, that's someone else's job
42:02Ed, you've not had enough surgery to know how this works
42:05I think I'm making an incision like down here
42:08So you're cutting the tube
42:10Yep, and then I'm going to
42:12And then I'm going to do like a tiny little incision
42:13I'm going to cauterize that so it doesn't bleed
42:16You're on your way, it's a day procedure
42:18Congratulations baby
42:19You can just come anywhere you want until you pass the test to become a father
42:23Good night
42:23Well done
42:25Thank you very much Catherine Ryan
42:27Yeah, yeah
42:29Well, Catherine, you proved just how complex that all is
42:33So, has that totally sabotaged your chances of swinging the audience?
42:37Earlier on Catherine, a snap poll revealed 74% found your opinion that all men should have vasectomies at birth
42:43unacceptable
42:44And now, after you've tried your hardest to convince them, let's have a look at how they voted
42:54Yeah!
42:55Yeah!
42:55You see, amazing!
42:56I can regret all of the percentage of the audience that agree with you is 51% Catherine
43:02That means you've won a swing of 23 and therefore 23 points for your team!
43:07CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
43:11And that makes Richard's team our unacceptable winners tonight!
43:15CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
43:17That's all we have time for in tonight's show
43:19Thank you to all our guests for their unacceptable performances
43:22Good night!
43:27CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
43:28Was 정도 hour-n sesi
43:29Thank you so much!
43:33Thank you so much!
43:36You neverpleinflирован, but I think of you long for tomorrow
43:37Perhaps if you'll come a long 때�where
43:51I ought not look for 27 days
43:51Hello, we can hope of your friends
43:52Good night