- 22 hours ago
Join founder and beauty expert Kah Spence for and intimate masterclass.This would be a guided experience that answers the question: What are you really here to do? Whether you're at a crossroads, starting over, or simply searching for something more.
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00:05Hello, hello, hello. We have another wonderful masterclass on the stage. This time around,
00:12we are joined by Ka Spence. And Ka is the founder and beauty expert. Ka is going to talk us
00:19through
00:19a little bit about how Ka's found his pivot, how he's gone from being a beauty expert and a hair
00:26stylist into being a brand founder. So if you are somebody who is looking to pivot, looking to find
00:32what their passion is and bring it to life, this is definitely a masterclass for you. Without further
00:38ado, Ka, will you please join us on the stage? Round of applause, please. Wait, we need a little
00:49more energy than that. A little more energy than that. Okay. Okay. Good afternoon. Good afternoon,
01:00lovely people. I am honored to be here with you guys. But before we get started, I have a quick
01:05question for you guys. How many of you feel like you've ever worked hard at something, but felt like
01:11it wasn't really the thing that you truly wanted. Raise your hand. You? Anybody else? You? Anybody
01:19else? You? You? That was me. I feel like I was living a life that wasn't fully the thing I
01:27wanted
01:27to do anymore. It was so glossy. It was so public. And I think it just wasn't a thing. But
01:34to get myself
01:35started, I'm Ka Spence. As the beautiful young lady mentioned, I'm the founder of a wonderful
01:40fragrance and personal care brand, Samir Gray. But before that, I used to be a celebrity hairstylist
01:45to some wonderful clients that you might know. The lovely ladies who will be performing tonight.
01:50I have worked with them before. Yes. Cardi B, Kehlani, Lotto, Kelly Rowland. The list goes on. Oh my
02:00God. The list goes on. But today, what I want to talk with you guys about is how to find
02:05your purpose
02:06in moments of stillness and really thinking about what a pivot sort of looks like if you do want to
02:13move into that next phase of life. You know, I think from the outside looking in, I was extremely
02:18successful. But I think over time, I realized that just wasn't it. So let me take you back.
02:27Imagine this. 2018, we're in, I get off the airplane, JFK or LaGuardia, one of those airports. I get a
02:36call
02:37that one of the biggest rappers, female rappers, wants to work with me. And unbeknownst to me,
02:45that would be the night that would change hip hop history. I'm sure some of you guys know what I'm
02:50talking about. No. Yeah. No. Yeah. Okay. Good. And I think in that moment, it made me shut down
03:02for two seconds. It made me pause and it made me say to myself, is this really something that
03:07I want to be doing? You know, um, and it wasn't, there was so much happening. There was so much
03:15going on. And I think sometimes we get in these spaces where we're in environments where
03:20we're doing things that we may not feel inclined to want to do anymore. You know, like we may not
03:25want to be in these rooms. You may not want to be in these spaces. But in the beginning, it
03:28looked
03:29beautiful. It looked cool. You know, I was traveling every other day. I was on every airplane you can
03:35think of. I was doing this red carpet. I was doing that red carpet. I was on this set.
03:41I was here. I was there. But I think on the inside, it felt like something was off. Even
03:50though this was a dream that I had dreamt since I was a little boy. Can anybody resonate
03:54with that? Like having that dream that you're like, Oh, from young, I see myself becoming
03:59a realtor. I see myself becoming a stockbroker. I see myself becoming a hairstylist. Any hairstylists
04:05out there? Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Give it up for the hairstylists in the room. Give it up for
04:12the hairstylists in the room. Exactly. That's what I'm talking about. And I think through
04:18that, I realized that like the dream that I dreamt when I was a young kid, I didn't want
04:23to be doing anymore. And so I wanted to think about what that next was like, because the
04:28world kept asking me, what would I be doing next? What would come after the glitz and the
04:35glam that you see? And I'm not going to lie. I didn't know what would come next. You know,
04:39because in the midst of those moments, I experienced a lot of loss. I lost my mom during that time.
04:45I lost my dad during that time. I lost my grandmother during that time. I lost my great
04:50grandmother during that time. And all the women who really lifted me up left my life. And I think it
04:57put me in a space where I really, truly didn't know what I wanted to do anymore. I honestly didn't
05:01think I even wanted to be anymore because I felt like my sense of purpose was in them. Has anybody
05:09ever felt like someone connected to you kind of gives you your sense of purpose? Like, I think
05:14that's what it started to feel like for me. And so I sat still, I paused, and I said to
05:19myself,
05:21what would that next look like? And I knew that like, in order for us to really slow down, we've
05:28got to start listening to our bodies. Because our bodies tell us first what we need. You know,
05:34sometimes you might be on a job, you're experiencing a ton of migraines, or your hands might start
05:39cramping up, your feet might start hurting, your body may start hurting. And I think we've got to
05:43start learning to listen to those things that are happening within ourselves in order to get to the
05:48next phase of life. Has anybody ever been in a situation where, at work, you might have felt
05:53like, damn, my head keeps hurting every day when I go into this job. My feet are bothering me every
06:00day. My hands are cramping when I'm at my desk. My back is hurting. Has anybody felt like that?
06:05I know more y'all guilty. I know more y'all felt like that. Y'all a little dead this
06:11afternoon,
06:142 p.m. Oh, y'all lit? Oh, you lit? What you been drinking? Water. That's the thing. We need
06:24water.
06:25Hydration. We need water. There we go. Water. But I think in that moment, I realized I wanted to
06:32slow down. I'm going to move from this slide. The next slide is not as glossy as this. This looks
06:38beautiful. We love this, right? We love this. But I wanted to slow down, so I went back to school.
06:45I know you're probably like, why the hell would you go back to school? But I think
06:52sometimes when you want to excel or grow in life, you've got to sort of take yourself out of your
06:57own
06:57box in order to really step into what the newness could look like for you. And so I slowed down.
07:04I
07:04started talking to mentors. I started asking all the questions possible. I started saying no more,
07:12going back to church, getting into therapy, getting my relationship right with God,
07:16and being bored as hell. I feel like in today's society, we don't get enough boredom. See, I feel
07:22like y'all get enough boredom. Like moments to do nothing. No talking, no texting, no watching anything
07:29on TV, but literally just being bored. Does anybody ever get that bored moment?
07:35Exactly. You try? Exactly. That's what we need. Those moments of just like doing nothing. I feel
07:41like the kids of today, they're not bored enough. We used to be bored as kids. And so I think
07:49I needed
07:49those moments in order to get me through what next would look like. And then I started reading more.
07:54Have you guys ever heard of this book called The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks? Such a phenomenal book.
07:59And so I want to talk to you guys about that. I sound like a professor. Maybe I should take
08:04that
08:04up in my life sometime. I do want to be a professor at some point. Maybe out of college one
08:09day.
08:09Wouldn't that look good? Yeah? I see you back there. Wouldn't it look good? Exactly. I know,
08:15that's right. And so The Big Leap is a book that really talks about what it looks like to get
08:21over that next hurdle in your life. What it looks like to get, like if I'm standing right here on
08:27the
08:27edge, what it looks like to get down there. And I think sometimes we see how far this gap looks
08:32and think like, oh my God, if I step down, I'm going to fall into lava. Or if I step
08:37down,
08:37something's going to go wrong. But in all actuality, it's literally just a step. I'm not going to step,
08:43because it's not that close. But it's literally just a step. And what I love about this book is
08:49something that we all can relate to having is this thing called the upper limit problem.
08:54Does anybody know what that is? So the upper limit problem is something that like,
09:01when we're at that leap moment of getting over what we want to see as success. So whether that be
09:08the
09:08home, whether that be a moment of peace, whether that be a better relationship with God, building a
09:14family, a new job, whatever that looks like, it's really getting out of the internal hoopla
09:19and really getting over it. And I think some of us sit in that upper limit problem before getting
09:24over to our big leap, because sometimes we have this internal dialogue that tells us like,
09:30this is too far down. I can't do it. What's going to happen if I go down when we could
09:35literally just
09:36take a step? It's that easy. Okay, maybe it wasn't that easy. But you see what I mean? It's that
09:44easy.
09:44Just take a quick step. And so I have a few questions for you guys. Now we're going to do
09:49some
09:49interaction with the audience. Can I get a mic? We need a mic for the audience. You need to wake
09:59y'all up.
10:02No? You guys don't want to be waking up? You want to wake up? You want to wake up. You
10:07want to wake up.
10:08I see you and she want to drink, but she needs some water. That's what she needs. We're waiting for
10:13Mike and we're waiting for her to get some water. But I do have a few questions for you guys.
10:23Are you ready for them? If money wasn't an issue, what would you be doing? Who wants to answer this
10:32first? You right here. We are getting a mic to this young lady right here. I'm gonna go back because
10:39this looks better. Makes me look good, right? Makes me look real good. Okay. If money weren't an issue,
10:46what would you be doing? We are waiting for a mic. It is coming right now. Right now.
10:58But in the meantime,
11:09if money weren't an issue, what would you be doing? I'm curious. Okay. Let's see. All right. I'll be
11:17traveling all over the world. That'll be my dream. Okay. What about you? Same thing? Anybody else? If money
11:27weren't an issue, what would you be doing? I would move to the countryside and paint and not look for
11:34validation. So I wouldn't have to post it, share it. I could just paint and write for my validation. I
11:41like
11:42that a lot. Anybody else? If money weren't an issue, what would you be doing? Go ahead. Give it to
11:49me.
11:49Um, I love working with children. So I'll probably open my own daycare and, you know, have that as my
11:57investment and then travel and everything when I want to. But I would love to have my own daycare.
12:02Oh, I like that. Catering to the kids. I know that's right. If money weren't an issue, what would you
12:08be
12:08doing? I know y'all trying to follow me. I am so sorry. This was not planned, but we making
12:14it work.
12:15Letta, if money wasn't an issue, I would be on a book tour, a world book tour. Yeah. I love
12:20blending
12:21vocabulary words with music. And so I would be teaching people how to build their vocabulary
12:26in a very rhythmic way on a book tour. So that's what I would do. That's beautiful. And I think
12:32the
12:32one thing I'm realizing with all of these answers, thank you so much. The one thing I'm realizing,
12:37you guys' face lit up when you talked about if money wasn't an issue, what you would be doing. And
12:43I
12:43think that's something that this book sort of teaches you how to get to that point of figuring
12:47out what would it look like if I were doing something that would bring me genuine peace
12:53and genuine happiness. Because something I want us to all realize is the version of you that you
12:58might've been dreaming about five or 10 years ago may not be the version of you today. And that is
13:03okay.
13:04That is completely fine. I'll tell you a little joke. Everyone still references me as this young man.
13:12I am not 23 years old anymore. I know I look good. Can I see my, oh, I can't see
13:18myself. I'm not 23.
13:19I'm 31. I don't work with any of these young ladies anymore. I am running, my publicist is probably
13:27going to hate me. I am running an award-winning beauty brand that is gross seven figures. I'm not
13:34this anymore, but people still reference me as this. But as long as in our heads and in our mind,
13:39we start to understand and realize that however the world might perceive you, you don't need to
13:43perceive yourself. That's all that matters. Can I get an amen? Look, turn to your neighbor and say
13:49amen. I know that's right.
13:54And so the thing that helped me get to the next hurdle of life, and we'll skip past this, launching
14:01this lovely beauty brand that I built. But the thing that moved to getting me to this next hurdle in
14:07life was really listening to my mind, listening to my body, listening to my everything that I needed,
14:13waiting to see what would it look like if I just took that big leap. And I just said, let
14:20me go for it.
14:21So you that want to travel or you that want to work with children, like what would it look like
14:26to get
14:26there or even start the process? And it took some humbling. It was, there was some very humbling moments.
14:33You know, I think when I left the hair space and moved on to working in fragrance,
14:40I think the world saw it as me leaving my dream and letting myself go. But I saw it as
14:45really
14:46mirroring what I saw for myself and the people that are out there, which is less about an identity,
14:51less about a role. But who do we want to become? Who do we want to be? How do we
14:55see ourselves? What
14:56do we want to look like? And I know you might see some familiar faces up there. Yes,
14:59some of my clients are lovers and fans of this I'm doing now because you just build good relationships.
15:07You see, we got Ms. Cheryl Lee Ralph. Give it up for her, ladies and gentlemen.
15:12We got Kelly Rowland. Give it up for her, ladies and gentlemen. No, I'm kidding.
15:16But yeah, it took me becoming a beginner again. And so finding the right mentors,
15:21asking the silly questions. And there's no such thing as a silly question. I know sometimes
15:26you might have a question that might be like, what's this called? That's not a silly question.
15:32It's just a question you might have. Asking the silly questions, finding the mentors and really
15:37building from scratch and really ridding myself of all the ideologies that my last life or the last
15:45chapter sort of gave me. And really getting to a space where I felt comfortable living in what this
15:54looked like. And so remember earlier when I asked you guys if you felt like you were working hard
16:00for something but realized you didn't want to be that anymore or you didn't want to do that anymore?
16:04Or has any of your answers changed? Yes? No? Maybe? So? Huh? Okay. I got a little quick exercise
16:18for some questions. Damn, they're going to kill me. I need another mic. Exactly. Can I get another mic?
16:27Can I get a mic?
16:34And another mic is coming. But no, listen, it's the cardio. Listen to your body. We need cardio
16:39sometimes. No, but I do have some questions for you guys. I think one of the first questions is,
16:45what do you feel like in your life you're avoiding because it feels too uncertain? If anybody wants to
16:51answer that, I'd love some quick volunteers. At least three people. Boom. Huh?
16:58You, see? Testing, testing. Wow. That's crazy.
17:09For me, it's law school, taking the LSAT. I keep, I took it years ago, didn't do well,
17:16and I just keep putting, pushing the date back. How come? No excuses, just insecurity. How can we all
17:26support you in this room right now? Because this young lady wants to take the LSAT. Give it up for
17:31this young lady, ladies and gentlemen. How do we support you in this moment right now to make sure
17:35you go study and take that LSAT? I didn't hear you. What did you say? I said, how can we
17:40support you in
17:41this moment? Just prayers and, um, prayers. That's, that's what it is. So, um, the will to just focus,
17:48just focus and do what I need to do to take the LSAT in October. Let's give it up for
17:53this young lady.
17:54She's going to take the LSAT. We need more applause.
18:01I sound dead as hell. Um, and then I have another question if, if, if someone else wants to answer.
18:07What if the life that you're praying for is waiting on the other side of the conversation
18:12you've been avoiding with yourself? What would that look like? Do you want me to repeat myself?
18:19What if the life you want is on the other side of the conversation you've been having with yourself?
18:25What would that look like?
18:29You said what? Well done. Can we get her mic right here? Yeah. I'm calling you out.
18:42Oh, that's actually a really good question. Um, I think the conversation would be something more
18:49like the conversations that I have with my friends where it's like, girl, get it together.
18:52Yeah. Like you have no excuse. Um, and I think it references back, uh, maybe to your answer that
19:00there really isn't an excuse. It's just that uncertainty of doing something new. I think for
19:06me, it's like, I've always looked for a lot of stability, especially like in work. Um, I've never
19:11seen myself as an entrepreneur. I took away from the idea of being a creative because I felt pigeonholed
19:18into doing other things. And so the idea of leaving the stability of like a nine to five and doing
19:25something you're passionate about is like, Ooh, I don't think the life that I want is on the other
19:29side. If I'm in the poor house, like that's how, where my brain is at, but I know it's really
19:35just
19:36girl, get it together and take it. Yeah. So yeah. And writing an actionable plan out,
19:41like writing like a three to six month plan out of what would it look like for me to set
19:45my finances up
19:46to make sure that I can live the life that I'm passionate about while still making sure my bills
19:50are paid. Cause we never want to move in a direction and our money looking funny, you know, like
19:59come on, who can relate? You never want to move around with your money looking funny. Can anybody relate?
20:06Oh, so we all rich.
20:10We all rich. I know that's right. Give it up for this young man. Give it up for this young
20:15man.
20:17Um, no, but before I go, I do want to open the, open the audience up for some questions. If
20:23you
20:23guys have any questions, I'm happy to answer any questions. This young lady back here has a question.
20:29Thank you so much. Beautiful young lady. The young lady right here in the black dress with the white
20:35black dress with the white dress with the white dress with the white dress with the white dress.
20:42Hi. I guess I would just ask like, how do you confront like others, you know, who are naysayers or
20:52might not be very positive, you know, like just setting up those boundaries.
20:58How do I confront the naysayers or setting boundaries to the negativity?
21:04That's a tough one.
21:05You know, I still deal with the naysayers and the negativity.
21:10But I think something I try to do is pray as much as possible.
21:14I fasted this week for about three days because I realized I wasn't as focused as I could have been.
21:21But I think really talking to myself every day in the mirror.
21:25So when I wake up, affirming myself that I am enough, affirming myself that I'm capable of doing all that
21:30God sees me doing, affirming myself that the decision to sleep in bed today is fine.
21:36You know, like I don't need to be as productive as I was on Monday as I am on Tuesday.
21:40I can slow down for a little.
21:42So I think just slowing down, taking a deep breath, dropping your shoulders.
21:46And can I curse?
21:49Fuck some people.
21:50Excuse me.
21:51Oh, my.
21:51There's kids in here.
21:52Oh, my God.
21:54Oh, I'm so sorry.
21:55Oh, my God.
21:56The little baby.
21:56I am so sorry.
21:57Y'all didn't hear that.
22:02Sorry.
22:03Any more questions?
22:05This young lady back here.
22:18I just have an answer for you, baby.
22:20I'm 79 years old.
22:22Ask yourself this question.
22:25What part I don't understand that they don't understand?
22:30Hello?
22:30Say it again.
22:31Say it again.
22:32What part they don't understand?
22:35What part I don't understand that they don't understand?
22:39Exactly.
22:40And that's all that matters.
22:41What do I understand?
22:42Freak what they got to say.
22:44Hello?
22:44Give it up for the young lady in the back.
22:49And we had another question right here.
22:51Oh, boom.
22:52The beautiful young lady is right here.
23:02All right.
23:03So first, hopefully it's easy.
23:05One more time?
23:06First question.
23:08Yeah.
23:08Hopefully it's easy.
23:09Do you have some of this wonderful perfume or fragrance here?
23:14I don't have any of this fragrance with me here.
23:19No.
23:20I wish.
23:22And I'm guessing that the fragrance space was new.
23:26Is that what you went to school for?
23:28Because one of the things like of getting started sometimes,
23:32you just don't know the steps that you need to take.
23:34You may have the idea or vision,
23:36but you don't have like maybe people in your circle
23:39that can help you get to that vision.
23:41So everything is brand new.
23:42So how did you approach that if this was a new space for you?
23:46So what she asked was,
23:47how did I approach building this business
23:48and what steps did I take?
23:49Because sometimes for many of us,
23:51we want to move into spaces,
23:52but we don't know the steps to take.
23:54I'm bold as hell.
23:56If I want something, I'm going to get it.
23:57So if I want to become what these gentlemen
24:00and young ladies are doing back here,
24:02working cameras, operating cameras,
24:04I'm knocking on your door every single day.
24:07I emailed people every day.
24:09I literally went on Google
24:10and reached out to some of the biggest perfume houses out there.
24:13Emailed them every single day
24:15until I found the perfume house
24:17that then directed me to this person
24:19and then directed me to this person.
24:20I will say though,
24:21I did have a lot of privilege walking into it
24:24because I've been in the beauty space for about 11 years now.
24:27I know again, I look real young,
24:29but I've been in this space since I was 19.
24:31So I had a lot of privilege walking in,
24:33but I still did the work.
24:34I still reached out.
24:35I still followed up.
24:36I still went to the trade shows.
24:37I still connected with as many people as possible
24:40because I knew in order for me to really excel in the space,
24:43I needed to do the work.
24:44But I think it's a matter of just reaching out
24:46to everyone around you,
24:48left, right, side to side.
24:49I call friends every day
24:50and ask them the silliest questions.
24:52Like, yo, what's one plus one?
24:56Like the silliest of silliest questions
24:58because sometimes you really do not know
24:59and you may feel like,
25:01oh my God, this is gonna,
25:02I shouldn't be asking this.
25:04I'm asking you.
25:05And even if they say no,
25:07can you introduce me to somebody that can get me there?
25:09Don't let the no turn you down.
25:11Because I know some of us let no turn us down.
25:13Don't let the no turn you down.
25:15The no can get you to the yes.
25:17Can I get an amen?
25:19Can I get an amen?
25:21I'm sorry.
25:22I thought I was a preacher for two seconds.
25:24Any more questions?
25:25Oh, this young lady right here.
25:27Oh, wait, this young lady right here.
25:28Okay, sorry.
25:30So how did you get the courage to start over?
25:34How did I get the courage to start over?
25:37Can I be honest?
25:39Can I be honest with you guys?
25:41At first, it was an ego thing.
25:46When I stopped doing hair,
25:47so many people kept asking,
25:50what is your next?
25:51And I kept feeling like,
25:53well, damn, what, like, what am I doing?
25:55You know, and I felt like I had to rush into something.
25:58It wasn't this initially.
26:00I might have skipped a step.
26:02I started creative directing,
26:04and so I got hired by record labels
26:06to come in and help bring new artists to market
26:09and help figure out, like,
26:10what they'd look like from head to toe,
26:12what it would look like to build out
26:14their initial album packaging, music videos, all that.
26:17Hated it.
26:19But it taught me how to run a production.
26:22I was responsible for running a 30-person production.
26:25I had never done that in my life.
26:26Working with people that are older than me,
26:28I had never done no shit like that in my life.
26:30So it helped get me to that space.
26:33But it was out of ego at first.
26:34But I think the courage came from me just saying,
26:37like, I know I didn't want this anymore,
26:39so what does next look like?
26:40To your point earlier of,
26:42how am I going to make sure I eat at the end of the day?
26:44Like, how are my bills going to get paid?
26:46Because we got to eat.
26:48We got to eat.
26:50Oh, y'all don't got to eat.
26:52Y'all not hungry.
26:55Any more questions?
26:56You had a question.
26:58I'm going to get you a mic.
26:59Just because.
27:08So I want to know,
27:10when you stopped doing hair,
27:12did you have to break up with your clients
27:14and you felt bad about that?
27:17Breaking up with the clients.
27:24Yes, I did.
27:26I still have great relationships with the young ladies.
27:29They all hold a special place in my heart.
27:32You know, I was just with one of them
27:35that's performing tonight a few weeks ago at her concert.
27:38It was bittersweet.
27:39You know, I still have days where I'm like,
27:40damn, I just saw Cardi on tour
27:43and I'm like, I want to be on tour again.
27:45But then I thought about it and I'm like,
27:46ooh, sleeping on a tour bus.
27:49Ooh, my feet.
27:51Ooh, cramping.
27:52Um, it was tough breaking up with them
27:55because it feels like you're in this long relationship.
27:57Like, it was like an eight-year relationship
27:58with some of these young ladies
27:59and we were really tight, some of us, you know.
28:02Some of us used to, when we traveled,
28:05we'd travel like we'd sit in this close next to each other.
28:09And so I think it took some time for me to move through that
28:14because just like a relationship with a romantic partner,
28:16you need time to move through it.
28:18I'm still working through it.
28:19I'm a human.
28:20Still working through it.
28:21But, yeah.
28:23But, I want to leave you with this tidbit.
28:26Never chase someone else's timeline
28:29because you are responsible for what you are doing
28:33and for your destiny.
28:35This is my time.
28:37Ladies and gentlemen,
28:39my name is Cos Vence.
28:41This was so beautiful hanging with you guys.
28:43I'm glad I was able to lift your spirits up this afternoon.
28:46Yes? Yes?
28:47Woo!
28:50This was great.
28:52I pray you guys have a blessed afternoon
28:54and a great Essence Festival
28:55because this is going to be turnt.
28:57And for the kids,
28:58make sure you all get in bed at a decent hour.
29:02Make sure you get in bed at a decent hour
29:04and make sure you get some boredom in.
29:06Okay?
29:07There we go.
29:08Boom.
29:08There we go.
29:09Have a good one.
29:11Hey.
29:12It feels illegal.
29:14I've sold it quite a few times.
29:16I'm going to play it right now.
29:18Oh, it's what I'm calling you.
29:21Hey.
29:22Here's 24.
29:24Hey.
29:25We're.
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