- 1 day ago
Jailbait
When Breanna finds out that her friends are going to a club for ages (14-18) and figures her father won't mind, she decides to follow them to the club. Meanwhile, Duane is trying to avoid a customer he cheated. When Flex comes home from work and finds his parents there and learns that his daughter Breanna was at a club without any permission, he shows her what it's like to be an adult, which isn't easy. Meanwhile, Duane ends up at Flex's house with the customer he cheated.
When Breanna finds out that her friends are going to a club for ages (14-18) and figures her father won't mind, she decides to follow them to the club. Meanwhile, Duane is trying to avoid a customer he cheated. When Flex comes home from work and finds his parents there and learns that his daughter Breanna was at a club without any permission, he shows her what it's like to be an adult, which isn't easy. Meanwhile, Duane ends up at Flex's house with the customer he cheated.
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TVTranscript
00:09hey daddy hey there's my newly found tax exemption how was grandma and grandpa
00:15same old same old we played bid whist and grandpa kept trying to get me to pull his finger
00:20after all these years how is it that finger is still in its socket
00:25well dang your party must have been off the chain oh you know it's just a little something something
00:31a low-key affair in that right way sorry baby happens you a lot of men
00:38oh flex dog that party was a so-called groove i have never seen two girls brianna
00:47go ahead finish the story i'm gonna hear it oh that was it i've just never seen two girls
00:54i gotta go man i wish i could party like you yeah you and the rest of baltimore
01:02well i'd help clean up but i need to wash the stench of been gay out of my clothes
01:08grandpa made me rub his ankles again yuck
01:18i wonder what she wore at home
01:21daddy yes pumpkin is that chocolate pudding in the bathtub why yes it is and whatever you do
01:28don't eat the pudding
01:33sometimes it's not you can feel all by yourself
01:38but i have a partner when i can't try no one else
01:43so don't isolate yourself when there's nobody around
01:47oh yeah i'll be better thicker than what a true love we are
01:52baby girl
01:53maybe one on one
01:56one on one
01:57can't nobody break the spine
01:59yeah
02:00one on one
02:02one on one
02:02now we're having fun
02:04one on one
02:06yeah
02:07one on one
02:23dad
02:25don't you think that a black man dancing and cooking in the kitchen is a bit of a stereotype
02:29only if he's frying chicken
02:32come on baby do the breakfast dance with daddy come on come on now
02:42i can do it like that
02:56i told you richard they do nothing but party over here it's like a frat house with a 14 year
03:01old mascot
03:03mom chill out i'm just trying to make sure my daughter gets her breakfast and a little cardio
03:06yeah and i'm working up a real sweat see grandma
03:12we thought it would be nice just to drop by and take rihanna to the great blacks and wax museum
03:17today
03:17hmm those wax statues are so lifelike
03:20they even have interchangeable noses for michael jackson
03:24and frederick douglas never looked better
03:26ooh he could free me any day of the week
03:31daddy help me
03:32rihanna your father is a very busy man now you have been here two weeks
03:35you cannot keep sitting around here all day until school starts
03:39so i have found a whole bunch of stuff on the internet to keep you busy
03:44and i found a bunch of stuff on the internet to keep me busy too
03:50look rihanna you need activities
03:52dad they're starting to sound just like the warden
03:54the warden
03:55yeah her mother my ex-wife
03:58you remember the one you called that heifer from the projects
04:03grandma look when i live with my mom she treat me like a kid not like daddy he treats me
04:08like an adult that's why i love being here and i love having you here baby and you think treating
04:13her like an adult is good parenting why not mom it's the new way of doing things yeah and it
04:18works for me we're like rough riders
04:19vroom vroom
04:20vroom vroom
04:39vroom vroom vroom vroom vroom vroom vroom vroom vroom vroom vroom vroom vroom vroom vroom vroom vroom vroom vroom vroom
04:52vroom vroom vroom vroom vroom vroom vroom vroom vroom vroom vroom vroom vroom vroom vroom vroom vroom vroom vroom vroom
04:53vroom vroom vroom vroom vroom vroom vroom vroom vroom vroom vroom vroom vroom vroom vroom vroom vroom vroom vroom vroom
04:53vroom vroom vroom vroom vroom vroom vroom vroom vroom vroom vroom vroom vroom vroom vroom vroom vroom vroom vroom vroom
04:53vroom vroom vroom vroom vroom vroom vroom vroom vroom vroom vroom vroom vroom vroom vroom vroom vroom vroom vroom vroom
04:53vroom vroom vroom vroom vroom vroom vroom vroom vroom vroom v
04:53successful sportscaster another couple of strokes you'd have been president by now
05:00you know i forgot you and ike turner went to school together
05:04eunice let's go okay mr progressive parent when you lose control don't come over to our house
05:10hiding saying you're afraid of her i got two words for you menendez
05:26act like you ain't know me how am i supposed to do that duane you sitting at my table
05:32oh oh there she is can she see me
05:40okay good she's gone who was that anyway my stalker
05:46oh you have a stalker well she's not really a stalker as much as he is a plaintiff as in
05:52marie jones versus duane odell knox defendant okay now what did you do this time nothing
05:57serious no i sold her mercedes-benz with the volkswagen engine farfig nougat
06:06you know that is just plain wrong that's like those women who wear those wonder bras you get
06:11home and you wonder where did everything go
06:15no it's like this would you stick your head into a hungry lion's mouth
06:18no no then don't come into a used car lot and expect me to be honest
06:22i got bills
06:25so how's brianna doing she is at home being a good little girl
06:30i'm supervised huh yeah well you really must trust her
06:34guess you forget how you were at 14 oh chicken breast sandwich
06:41brianna you better not be in that liquor cabinet
06:45oh no no daddy just playing gotcha gotcha all right i'll talk to you later bye
06:53oh man man there she is again just like a terminator she keep coming back
07:00excuse me yoo-hoo no you didn't dwayne is right here there he is
07:10okay spirit look singers genuine or usher definitely usher genuine's got bangs that's a little disturbing
07:21just a little bit
07:24all right ball players vince carter or alan iverson a girl like iverson because he's not afraid to cry
07:33he's all right but i need a strong man like little bow wow
07:39bro i heard that
07:42okay i got one for you brianna
07:44lenny kravitz or a multi-talented singer songwriter soon to be blowing up the top 40
07:51me
07:53no
07:55see that's why i like older women they appreciate a real man
08:00what older woman wants you aren't ass
08:03for your information i got a couple of 16 year olds who want me
08:06stop lying don't nobody want you
08:10oh you don't believe me come to jailbait tonight
08:12what's jailbait
08:13oh it's the club for us teens no one under 14 and no one over 18 to live
08:17yeah me and my band are playing there tonight
08:20your band
08:22yeah
08:24so y'all want to be my groupies
08:25no
08:27groupies get in free
08:28okay
08:30but i gotta call my mom first
08:32you have to do that
08:33you mean you ain't gotta call your dad
08:35girl please that's kid stuff
08:36my dad treats me like an adult i can do what i want
08:39we're like rough rotas
08:42girl what are you wearing tonight
08:44oh girl let me show you
08:45i'm going designer down
08:47i'm wearing my fake products
08:49my faux gucci
08:50and my almost chanel sunglasses
08:56hey
08:57hey
08:57not in the face brother
08:58there's no need for violence
09:00my wallet
09:01is in my back pocket
09:02play
09:03it's me duane
09:05man what are you doing hiding behind that bush anyway
09:07that stalker is raising her game
09:08what are you talking about
09:09i'm at home sneaking through the doggy door right
09:11and guess who's in the kitchen having hot tea with mama
09:15the stalker
09:16what'd you do
09:17that only thing i could do
09:18i barked and backed my ass up out the door
09:24well look who's here
09:25the rough rider
09:28that's good dad
09:28what y'all doing here
09:29we just dropped by to bring brianna some leftovers
09:32and wouldn't you know it
09:33your little adult isn't here
09:35she's probably at one of her friends house mom
09:37and which friend would that be flex
09:39bex con or the congressman
09:44you are definitely not helping this pop
09:46calm the fears
09:47calm the fears
09:48she left the note
09:49uh-huh see see she's responsible
09:51y'all tripping
09:54dad we're out of great kool-aid
09:59wait a minute it's 10 o'clock
10:00if she was going out she should have called
10:02son your daughter cannot call you
10:04if she's dancing for change on an off ramp
10:07you know i've done that
10:10not proud of it but i've done it
10:13i guess i should call the police
10:15oh no son why don't we just sit around and play cards till the dogs find her body
10:23please let it be all right
10:24on the floor put your booty on the floor
10:27what's up daddy
10:28brianna where have you been
10:30clubbing at jailbait
10:31the strip club on maryland avenue
10:35or so i've heard
10:38no no it's that 14 to 18 year old dance place down on pratt
10:43or so i've heard
10:46brianna if you're going out don't you think you should call me
10:49why are you tripping it's only 10 o'clock
10:51dad i was partying and you know how time flies when you're feeling bootylicious
10:55oh what did that y'all say
10:56something about somebody's delicious booty where my heart feels
11:01that's it brianna tell your friends they gotta go we need to talk
11:04seems a lot nicer on tv
11:05yeah that's because you could turn them off
11:09let's get one thing straight you don't leave this house without letting me know about it
11:13what's the big deal i don't ever sweat you about where you going
11:16wait a minute you're not supposed to i'm the parent you're the child
11:19but i thought i was a young adult
11:20being an adult is about being responsible and you have failed that test
11:23oh you can talk mr chocolate pudding in the bathtub
11:30look i am your father you don't talk to me like that now go to your room and don't come
11:33out till i tell you
11:34but what did i say
11:41okay go ahead and say it
11:43i don't know if you really want to hear this but um
11:47we're proud of you son
11:49you were direct you stood your ground and you let it be known who is boss
11:53then why do i feel so bad
11:55probably because you out of kool-aid
12:05hey flex thank you let me stay here tonight
12:07but you know what
12:08i made a decision
12:10i'm gonna face my stalker
12:13why
12:14because there is too much drama going on here between you and brianna
12:17oh man i thought raising brianna was gonna be easier
12:20before all i had to do was order a few pizzas watch a few movies and put it to bed
12:25yeah well that's when she was here only two weeks a year
12:28the good old days
12:30now all she cares about is partying and being bootylicious
12:34you know what the cherokees say
12:36where did all these white people come from
12:39they say kids are like arrows in a bow
12:42you aim for the bullseye
12:44but you might hit a tree
12:47and that's supposed to help me
12:48man i don't have kids i don't have to say to you
12:51well look i have a kid
12:53and i have a kid who wants to be treated like an adult
12:55well i want to be treated like a kid
12:57no bills
12:58nap whenever you want them
12:59cartoons all day
13:00i mean i miss the days when i could poop in my diaper and someone else cleaned it up
13:05well
13:06you know what
13:07you might be on to something
13:09brianna only sees one part of my life
13:12the glitz
13:13the glamour
13:14the fun side of being
13:15flex washington
13:18maybe
13:18if she saw how hard it is
13:20she wouldn't want to grow up so fast
13:24well if i was a kid you know what i'd be doing right now
13:26living in your mama's basement and occasionally sleeping at your friend's house
13:29yeah that's pretty much it
13:35good morning my little brie brie
13:39ah the silent treatment
13:41hmm
13:41don't you think that's a little bit childish
13:45according to you i am a child
13:47well you know what
13:48i thought about it
13:49and i was wrong
13:50it's about the high time i started treating you like an adult
13:53as of today
13:54you and i are equals
13:56oh well all right
13:57now you're getting it
14:00of course there's a
14:01few little details we have to work out
14:03like paying the rent and helping out on the bills
14:06wait how am i supposed to get money
14:08most adults work
14:10wait get a job
14:12i want to jump in the gun a little bit here dad
14:15i just want to be free
14:17and free you will be
14:19but with freedom comes responsibility
14:20so are you ready to travel down the road of adulthood
14:25reach out my brother
14:28there just happens to be an opening down at the station
14:30a certain handsome reporter needs an assistant
14:32well hold up handsome
14:34how much are you paying me
14:36seven dollars an hour
14:37oh no no
14:38i demand minimum wage
14:415.15 it is
14:47all right so here we are wimx news
14:50your new home away from home
14:51this is exciting
14:52good good i'm gonna introduce you around
14:54excuse me everybody
14:55this is my new intern brianna
14:57hi brianna
14:58you're using your own daughter as a lowly intern
15:02guilty
15:04good i'm the boss so you do my stuff first
15:06look
15:06i need you to make 40 copies of these
15:09i like my coffee with cream
15:10and get over there and answer those phones please
15:12but i'm
15:13get to it now
15:16hey stacy
15:17i want to thank you for showing my daughter how miserable it is to work for you
15:21oh you love it
15:23you don't know how much i do
15:26lax how many times do i have to tell you to stop flirting with me
15:30girl i'm not flirting with you
15:32you know you have the most beautiful eyes
15:36thank you
15:38look uh i am not your plaything i'm your producer
15:41when i say jump you say how high and how many times you got that
15:45yeah
15:45okay
15:46uh daddy
15:47the janitor said he wants me to unclog this toilet in the man's restroom
15:51that sounds like a big job for such a little person
15:54that's what i thought
15:55well that means you got to get a big plunger
15:57wait no
15:59uh and baby watch out for the upsplash
16:03that's why golfers should wear cups
16:07that's it for the flex files
16:08until next time
16:09flat app
16:12and you're cutting
16:13okay here it's just that
16:14five plunger copies of the nfl rule book
16:18staple, collate, and color coding
16:20did i say five hundred?
16:22i am so sorry i meant five
16:25oh that's okay baby the day is almost over
16:28thank god i can't wait to go home and crawl into my little bed
16:33bed?
16:34yeah
16:34i said the day is over the night's just begun
16:37yeah he work we here
16:40the boss is a karaoke freak you're freaked right with it
16:43gips, seas, tramps, and faves
16:46you hear from the people of the town they call out
16:49gypsies, tramps, and faves
16:52and every night all the people come around
16:57and lay their money down
17:05can daddy can we go home now?
17:08oh no sweetie because we're up next
17:10no i don't want to
17:11come on y'all
17:12come on
17:13all right sing along if you know the tune ladies and gentlemen
17:16it's going to stay at the YMCA
17:20it's going to stay at the YMCA
17:23hey but they got all the people in the mail
17:26they stand around and stuff that's fun to stay at the
17:30come on now sing
17:40rise and shine baby girl
17:42time for another day of work
17:44i feel like i only slept an hour
17:46oh no an hour and a half you lazy lima bean
17:49now come on and get up
17:50we gotta get the ravens training camp
17:52oh daddy i can't feel my feet can i at least take a shower
17:55oh no time but i got some wet naps in the car
17:59oh no you gotta work six months before you can do that
18:03hurry up we got a lot of stuff to do today
18:05we gotta go to these dry cleaners
18:07i have to pay the phone bill
18:08and it's my turn to pick up the krispy kremes
18:12all that today
18:13no all that this morning
18:14then after work the day really takes off
18:17we get to caulk the tub
18:19we're gonna change the oil in the car
18:21and then line the kitchen cabinets with no bugs m'lady
18:23now go on moving
18:24oh i don't want to move it
18:26i hate my job
18:27i have a splitting headache
18:28that stacy woman was riding me all day
18:30somebody keeps clogging that third floor toilet
18:32and will you please answer the phone
18:35baby the phone's not ringing
18:37what have you done to me
18:39i made you an adult
18:40i don't want to be an adult
18:42take me back i want to be a kid again
18:46oh i don't know that means we have to make some changes
18:49please
18:52that means there are going to be some rules to live with
18:55are you ready for that
18:56yeah i'm ready
18:59all right now that means that you cannot leave this house
19:02without letting me know about it
19:03and you have a nine o'clock curfew
19:05eight o'clock the streets aren't safe at night
19:11good we have an understanding
19:12so does it feel good to be a kid again
19:14yes yes it feels great to be a kid again
19:16you know what you shouldn't rush it sweetie
19:19matter of fact i've been fighting it a little bit too hard myself
19:22you know and i know i haven't set the best example for you either
19:27okay can i go to bed now
19:30sure but you gotta do one more thing
19:31what
19:33give daddy a hug and tell him you love him
19:35i would but my arms hurt too much
19:38dang village people
19:42why don't i do it for you
19:43come here baby
19:49oh baby you need a wet nap
19:53get right there
20:11ho ho ho what are you doing are you stalking me now
20:14flex flex what are you doing here in my house
20:18hey thanks for stopping by though
20:20uh he's always breaking in boy has no life
20:23what's this all about isn't that your point now
20:25uh let's just say we settle out of court
20:27but she still sued the pants off me
20:30get out
20:31get out
20:32get out
20:33baby come on
20:33out
20:33out
20:51you
21:17you