- 1 day ago
My Life as a Dog
Flex is dismayed when Breanna tries to recover from her recent heartbreak by taking on the persona of a "player," flirting outrageously and toying with every boy around. But he is even more distressed to discover that she's emulating him.
Flex is dismayed when Breanna tries to recover from her recent heartbreak by taking on the persona of a "player," flirting outrageously and toying with every boy around. But he is even more distressed to discover that she's emulating him.
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TVTranscript
00:00Let me hit this. Let me hit this.
00:04Ooh, baby, my wine is on low tide.
00:07Why don't you walk them legs over to the fridge and get us some more?
00:10Hmm, do you really want more wine or do you want to watch mama walk?
00:14Oh!
00:15Ooh, that's all right. Either way, I'll be intoxicated.
00:20I'm a wino for your walk.
00:23Ooh, a present!
00:25Since when did you start keeping gift boxes in the fridge?
00:28Since I started dating the hottest mama in Baltimore.
00:32Why don't you go and open it up?
00:35Ah! Ah! Go, Chase!
00:37Oh! Oh, you really do love me.
00:42All my girlfriends were so wrong.
00:46What's this? Another game of pin the vixen on my daddy?
00:53Hello?
00:54Oh, hi, Tony.
00:56Yeah, he right here.
00:58Okay, hold on.
01:00Daddy, Tony wants to know what you're doing next Friday.
01:02Tell Tony I'll catch him later.
01:04But she wants to talk to you now.
01:09Yeah, Flex, why don't you talk to her?
01:13Him, her, she?
01:14Why are people so caught up on gender?
01:15People are people, people.
01:19Yo, what up, Tony?
01:22Eh, it's a bad time.
01:25Eh, forget about it.
01:28Hey, you know what?
01:29I'm gonna bring you your sausage tomorrow.
01:32All right, then.
01:34You know, Flex, you can be honest with me.
01:37I mean, we haven't said we're exclusive.
01:39If you're seeing other women, just tell me.
01:41I'm gonna get mad.
01:42Okay, I'm seeing other women.
01:43Okay, now I'm mad.
01:45I should just throw these shoes out the window, but instead, I'm gonna use them to walk right out of
01:49here.
01:55Dang, Daddy.
01:56Gucci's no smoochie.
01:57Didn't I teach you better than that?
02:00Sometimes in this life, you can feel all by yourself.
02:05But I have a partner, but I can't turn no one else.
02:10So don't isolate yourself, when there's nobody around.
02:14I'll be better thinking then, what a true love we are.
02:19Baby, you kiss me for me.
02:22Baby, one-on-one, one-on-one.
02:24Can't nobody break this bond, baby, one-on-one.
02:28Can't nobody break this bond, baby, one-on-one.
02:33Yeah, one-on-one.
02:40So, Jennifer, I'd like to start with the jalapeno poppers and dinner with you next week.
02:48How's Tuesday sound?
02:49Sounds like a fiesta.
02:52Daddy.
02:53Oh, my bad.
02:56For my daughter, I'd like to get her a banana split.
02:59She needs some cheering up.
03:01Tracy likes banana splits.
03:04Listen, I know you shared your first kiss with him, but that was two weeks ago.
03:07You gotta move on.
03:08Let it roll off, you know?
03:10But, Daddy, it just hurts so bad when you like someone so much and he doesn't like you back.
03:20Who's life is better than mine?
03:23Do you want me to get the phone book or should I spare you the pain?
03:26For the first time in two decades, I had the entire house to myself.
03:30I just sent my mom on a world-class vacation.
03:32Oh, not Midget Town again.
03:35No, no, she got banned from that.
03:40The Blackfoot Indian Casino and Petting Zoo.
03:44Yeah.
03:45Just drop mom off at the bus stop with 20 pounds of nickels and a fistful of goat pellets.
03:51What are the goats gonna eat?
03:54Look at that.
03:56Ta-da!
03:58I'm too depressed to eat.
03:59I can't stop thinking about Tracy.
04:02Well, I need to celebrate.
04:03Let me hit this.
04:06Can you please try to give your dad's order some advice?
04:11Brie, Brie.
04:15Sometimes you have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince.
04:19So when am I gonna find my prince?
04:21Girl, I don't have a crystal ball.
04:22Maybe never.
04:23Life ain't fair.
04:25Ooh.
04:26It's a good sprinkle to set it off.
04:30Brianna, in a few minutes, I need you and your little friends to go in the back and play.
04:34Daddy's got a work meeting.
04:37Daddy, are you having women over again?
04:39No, just one.
04:41Okay, let me finish my letter real quick.
04:44In closing, Tracy, I can't stand you, I hate you, and the sight of you makes me sick.
04:49Missing you much, Brianna.
04:50Girl, you bearing too much of your soul.
04:53Yeah, especially for a guy who smells like Cheetos.
04:55You know what?
04:56You're right.
04:57I ain't going out like that.
05:01Dear Tracy, I don't want no scrubs.
05:06Brianna, you're vulnerable right now.
05:08The last thing you need is some brother trying to take advantage of your pain.
05:12Bam!
05:13Look at here.
05:14Two tickets to see Lenny Kravitz on Saturday.
05:16Me, you, and your broken heart.
05:23Flex, I bust my butt as a producer to get you a copy of the Layla Ali tape for your
05:28interview,
05:28and then somehow it mysteriously ends up in my briefcase.
05:31So I gotta come all the way over here to...
05:33I love that top.
05:40I'll see you in the morning.
05:41Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
05:43I'd hate to send you all the way home on an empty stomach.
05:46Wine, cheese, oyster.
05:50Flex, how many times I can tell you you do not seduce the boss?
05:54Me?
05:55Trying to seduce you?
05:56No, I would never do that.
05:59Chocolate-covered strawberry.
06:04Mmm.
06:06I know what's going on here, Flex.
06:09A little Merlot, a little Gouda.
06:11Next thing you know, I'm being paddled on your pool table,
06:13and everybody at work is calling me Spanky.
06:19I don't have a paddle, but I can work wonders with a spatula.
06:23Don't mess with me, Flex.
06:25I'm on my way to the gun range, and I'm packing a Glock.
06:29Well, hello.
06:30Oh.
06:31Here I am, unannounced and clearly unexpected.
06:34Hey.
06:36Hi.
06:39Aren't we all here?
06:42Hi, I'm Stacy, Flex's producer.
06:44Hi, I'm Tanya, Flex's.
06:46What am I, Flex?
06:47Oh, very pretty.
06:48Very pretty.
06:49You the bomb.
06:51Well, we all know that.
06:53Bam!
06:56Oh, he busts him out.
06:58Girl, it's better than passions.
07:00Yeah, maybe you'll turn into a chick fight.
07:02But then you'll let somebody's bra break off.
07:05Put your tongue back in your mouth, Scooby.
07:08My dad's a master.
07:09Watch him work.
07:11Tanya, a woman as beautiful as yourself has no reason to feel threatened by Stacy,
07:16an equally dynamic woman who happens to be my boss,
07:20which, by the way, is a line I would never cross.
07:23Stop it, Flex.
07:26You're so funny.
07:28I prefer blessed.
07:31You have to be born with that power.
07:33Tanya, you don't have to worry about me.
07:35I'm off men, and I won't be back on them until I find one who doesn't talk, doesn't cheat,
07:40and won't run away with my ATM card.
07:43I hear you, girl.
07:44You want to get a drink and talk this out?
07:45Yeah, and after we're nice and drunk, let's hit the gun range.
07:47Bang.
07:48Bang!
07:49Oh, hey, Flex, you want to come, too?
07:52I sure would.
07:53Lick it up, women with guns.
07:54Sounds like my Charlie's Angels fantasy.
07:56Come on.
07:58Black, that.
08:03Hey, baby, what you cooking up?
08:05Tracy.
08:09Oh, baby, are you sure you want to burn all your memories?
08:14Well, Essence Magazine said if a man hurts you, then just burn him out of your life.
08:18It's cleansing.
08:21Yeah, but if you let it get out of control, it's arson.
08:25Dad, I wish I could laugh about this, but I'm not a Mac like you.
08:29Oh, love, you think I'm a Mac?
08:32Not a Mac, the Mac.
08:34Like the other day when you got that policewoman to drop your speeding ticket.
08:37Oh, hold on, listen, I just explained that I should give her the ticket that she had fine written all
08:43over her.
08:44Mac, Mac, Mac.
08:45Oh, hey, now, stop it, stop it.
08:47I am not a Mac.
08:49I just have a Jerry Springer approach to a relationship.
08:51So you're saying I should have hit Tracy over the head with a chair?
08:56No, no, no, look, what I'm saying is high passion, low emotion equals lots of mindless fun, and nobody gets
09:02hurt.
09:03So you mean keep everything up front and there'll be no surprises?
09:09That's what I'm saying.
09:16Baby, baby, baby.
09:17What did that carrot do to you?
09:22Tell me something, Flex.
09:23I mean, we've been dating for a while, and it's been fun and all, but what's up?
09:27I mean, I am not the kind of girl who just keeps messing around without a commitment, so I need
09:31to know.
09:35You know, you make a point, but I tell you what, as soon as I know, you'll know.
09:40Oh, hi, Daddy.
09:42You remember my new boyfriend, Kelton?
09:44I should give him a ticket because he's oh so fine.
09:5230 seconds.
09:54Kelton, can you be a sweetheart and put those heavy books in my room for me?
09:58And maybe, lady, you can help me with my homework.
10:00You're so smart because you know I'm a blonde when it comes to chemistry.
10:05Well, she's Einstein when it comes to handling boys.
10:09Oh, frappuccinos, my favorite.
10:11But, honey, you're so hot, you've melted all the frapp.
10:13All we have is chino.
10:14So just call him off in the fridge, Mourney, okay?
10:17Thank you, Rodney Poole.
10:20Oh, Kelton.
10:22Honey, bad news.
10:23My daddy put me on punishment.
10:25Daddy, you're so strict.
10:26Bye, Kelton.
10:28Aren't you going to do something about this?
10:30Oh, it's all right.
10:32She's just getting that little baby Mac on.
10:33Besides, I think it's cute.
10:35There is nothing cute about it.
10:37This is good for her.
10:38She'll get over that Tracy boy.
10:41Who was that guy?
10:43Uh, that's my cousin.
10:46And who's here?
10:48My second cousin.
10:49Twice removed.
10:50In Alabama, we be kissing cousins.
10:53Oh, okay.
10:55Well, uh, I returned your books to the library,
10:57and I even paid those late piece,
10:58so, uh, you owe me ten dollars.
11:05Okay, we're even.
11:08Look, honey, I need one more thing from you.
11:10I'm in the mood for a blue Slurpee, the big one.
11:13Uh, I could pick it up for you,
11:14but I spent all my money at the library.
11:20My mom's asleep.
11:22Her purse is open.
11:23I'll work it out.
11:26She's no longer a baby Mac.
11:28Now she's a doggette.
11:30Uh, Brianna, the boy in the kitchen?
11:33Oh, Rodney, baby, I'm sorry.
11:34Come here.
11:35Hurry up.
11:38Well, you know what?
11:39Can you just be a hottie and get me my biscotti?
11:45Finally, up long.
11:46I'm about to get some rest for my next shift.
11:48Ciao, Daddy.
11:49Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah.
11:50Come here, come here.
11:52Brianna, you just macked Arnaz.
11:54He's one of your best friends.
11:56Well, maybe if Arnaz had a little more game,
11:58he wouldn't have got played.
12:00Remember?
12:00High passion plus low emotion equals mindless fun.
12:06What idiot said that?
12:13Thanks for meeting me down here, Pop.
12:15Look, between the two of us,
12:16I know we can straight Brianna out.
12:17Oh, son, it can't be that bad.
12:19Oh, no, you should have seen her the other day.
12:21It was like she was the Pied Piper
12:22and all the little rats were carrying frappuccinos.
12:26Well, you know, you and I come from a long line of Casanovas.
12:30I've never known it to affect the female side of the family
12:33except for your Aunt Bertha, who used to be your Uncle Joe.
12:38Anyway, the other day, Brianna accused me of being a Mac.
12:42No, no, no, you're not a Mac.
12:43A Mac is a manipulator of women.
12:45That's not you at all.
12:45My partner.
12:46Thank you, Dwayne.
12:47You a dog.
12:50Feelings be damned breaking hearts all over town.
12:52Hooray!
12:55Well, you know, I've always considered myself to be a player,
12:59a connoisseur of the gentler sex.
13:03See, me, I don't like to limit myself to one category.
13:05Like I think I'm a triple threat.
13:07Player, Mac, and doll.
13:09Sort of a playmog.
13:13Oh, hi, Daddy.
13:15Hey, sweetie.
13:16What are all these kids doing here?
13:18Daddy, what's a girl without her entourage?
13:20A loser.
13:22But, anyway, Daddy, can I run a tab for me and my friends?
13:25We're a little parched.
13:27Oh, sure, sweetie.
13:28Anything you want.
13:32What in the world am I doing?
13:33She just Mac'd me.
13:35Somebody better call a doctor,
13:37because I'm about to wrap you all around my finger.
13:40Damn, that girl is smooth.
13:43Oh, front row six to Lenny Kravitz.
13:45You can be my boyfriend, but only for tonight, okay?
13:49Brianna, I thought we were going to the concert.
13:53See, we all gonna be there.
13:57I'm gonna just be in the front.
13:58I'll wave to you, okay, sweetie?
14:02So that's how you're gonna play me?
14:05I thought you were my friend.
14:10Brianna, I think you heard his feelings.
14:12He's young.
14:13He'll bounce back.
14:14I did.
14:16I don't believe this.
14:18She's turning into someone I don't know.
14:20Oh, no, son.
14:21Just look at her.
14:22She's turning into you.
14:25Before she can change,
14:27you have to change.
14:30Flat out.
14:34Yeah, she's got you down with the flat out.
14:40Welcome back to the Flex Files.
14:42We're here with middleweight boxer Layla Ali.
14:49That's undefeated, boxer.
14:51And I'm pretty.
14:54All right.
14:54You think your dad Muhammad is watching?
14:56Rumble, young man, rumble.
15:00What's up, champ?
15:01So, you're married now?
15:04Happily married.
15:05Oh, guess I slept on that.
15:07Whatever.
15:10For those of you who don't know,
15:11Layla and I are old friends.
15:14We went on one date.
15:17Uh, yeah, but after that one date,
15:19you went pro,
15:20and I'd like to think I had something to do with that.
15:22You did.
15:23I saw your face on everybody
15:25I stepped into the ring with.
15:29You're a dog.
15:30You took me on a carriage ride in Central Park
15:32and then ran off with an ice skater.
15:34I had to ride a horse home.
15:40You know, Layla,
15:42you just hit home.
15:44I'm afraid to admit it,
15:45but you're right.
15:47I was a dog,
15:48running loose,
15:49running wild,
15:51lifting my leg on every woman in Baltimore,
15:53so to speak.
15:55Ladies,
15:57I'm sorry.
15:58And for those of you
15:59who want to follow in my footsteps,
16:01including my daughter,
16:02do as I say,
16:03not as I do.
16:05This is Flex Washington.
16:07Flat app.
16:09And cut!
16:12What the hell was that all about, Flex?
16:14I was trying to give a more sensitive side to sports.
16:17Oh, isn't that special?
16:17Look, cry in your own damn time, boy.
16:19This ain't Oprah.
16:21This is a legitimate newscast.
16:23Do you understand?
16:25But for the record,
16:26I was moved.
16:33Okay, Davey,
16:34I would love to run with you,
16:35but I'm busy that evening.
16:37Oh, really?
16:38A party at Cisco's?
16:39Okay, let me move some things around.
16:42Brianna,
16:42where did you get that cell phone?
16:45Oh, from
16:45Eddie or
16:46Eric
16:47or
16:48I don't know,
16:49somebody with an E.
16:52Hello?
16:53Who?
16:55Oh, Elvin.
16:56Elvin, baby,
16:57what's up?
16:59Yeah, I was just talking about you.
17:01Brianna,
17:02didn't you watch my interview?
17:03Oh, yeah,
17:04that sensitive dialogue was smooth.
17:06I'm about to parlay that
17:06into my rapper right now.
17:09See, that's the consequence
17:10for being a player.
17:12It's like a hereditary disease
17:13passed on from generation
17:14to generation.
17:16You know what?
17:17I've been thinking.
17:20It's time to make a change.
17:21This situation isn't working for me.
17:24Oh, wait a minute.
17:25Hold up.
17:26Are you dumping me?
17:27Because let me tell you something.
17:28Tanya doesn't get dumped.
17:29Tanya does the dumping, okay?
17:31Hey.
17:32Tanya,
17:33I'm not dumping you, okay?
17:35Oh.
17:36Okay, well,
17:37finish what you were saying, baby.
17:40Look, when Brianna's mother
17:41ended our marriage,
17:42I was hurt
17:43and I vowed that I would never
17:45let another woman
17:46break my heart again.
17:48So I macked my way
17:49across the eastern seaboard.
17:50But now I'm a full-time dad
17:52and my daughter's watching
17:54and I'm not sure
17:55I like what she sees.
17:57What are you saying, Flex?
17:59Yeah.
18:00What are you saying, Daddy?
18:01Sweetie, I'm saying it.
18:03I don't want you to end up like me.
18:05But, Daddy,
18:05you have a great life.
18:06But I've hurt some people
18:08along the way,
18:09just like you're doing
18:09your friend Arnaz.
18:10But Tracy was my friend
18:12and he hurt me.
18:13Sweetie,
18:14do you really want Arnaz
18:15to feel what you're feeling?
18:20I gotta go.
18:23Thanks, Daddy.
18:27Baltimore woman!
18:29Stay away from me.
18:34I'm in apartment 203.
18:39Pick myself up off the floor.
18:42I wanna see your face
18:44so far.
18:45Now, woman!
18:50I'm in apartment 8.
18:52You ruined our friendship?
18:54Now you're ruining my song!
18:57Is it too late
18:58for us to still be friends?
19:00I don't know.
19:02The artist is in a lot of pain
19:03right now.
19:04I know that pain.
19:06Sometimes it cuts so deep
19:08it ends up hurting
19:09someone you never meant to hurt.
19:11Now, is this my friend Brianna
19:12or the Mac Brianna?
19:14The Mac Brianna is dead.
19:17But before she died,
19:19she managed to snag this
19:20for you at the concert.
19:22Lenny's guitar pick.
19:26From the master himself?
19:28I will cherish you forever.
19:32So are we cool?
19:40Man, your hair smells good.
19:43Uh, aren't I as friends?
19:45Yeah.
19:47Right.
19:48Friends.
19:50By the way,
19:52pal,
19:53you owe me 50 bucks
19:54for the concert ticket.
19:56Can we just forget about that?
20:02Nope.
20:04Friends.
20:10You know what I was thinking?
20:12It's time to take this relationship
20:14to the next level.
20:15Oh!
20:16Oh, my God!
20:17Oh!
20:18Oh, my God!
20:19You are proposing to me?
20:20Okay, where is my ring?
20:22Where is my ring?
20:23Okay, wait a minute.
20:23Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
20:24Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
20:25Okay.
20:26Okay.
20:27I'm ready.
20:28I'm ready.
20:29Tanya, sweetie,
20:30I'm not proposing to you.
20:34Oh.
20:35Well, go ahead
20:36and finish what she was saying, baby.
20:39Baby, look,
20:40by next level,
20:41I mean just seeing you.
20:43That's a big step for me.
20:45Aw.
20:46That is so sweet.
20:48But isn't there some kind of ring
20:49that goes along with that?
20:51Yeah.
21:19I love you, Daddy.
21:19Love you, too, Netta.
21:21Mm-hmm.
21:21I love you, too.
21:22I love you, too.
21:23I love you, too.
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