00:02clarissa has a problem she said her husband travels a lot for work he's gone for days at a
00:08time about half the year that is a lot yeah um so while collecting their year-end financials
00:13clarissa found a credit card charge from last september for a very expensive dinner oh she
00:19said when i asked him about it he admitted he went out to dinner with a woman that he met
00:22through work but insists it was just a meal nothing inappropriate clarissa says i was upset
00:28i wanted to understand why and he said there's nothing wrong with our relationship but he can't
00:33explain why he chose to have dinner with another woman and why he never mentioned it to me i want
00:38to believe him but even uh if nothing physical happened i don't know if i'll ever see our
00:44relationship the same again am i overreacting or is the secrecy itself a real breach of trust
00:50well you know andy when i read this before my first thought was breach of trust always put everything
00:57on the line like i'm a classic oversharer i do the same thing i want my wife to know where
01:02i am
01:02she has my location of course but like none the i i overshare if something happens at work if
01:08something happens with friends i want her to know what's going on in my life right and i'm kind of
01:12like that with leonard too only because i like to share like i don't feel like i need to share
01:18everything because he's worried but i like to be like oh my gosh and i'm gonna go out for dinner
01:22tonight and this is where i'm gonna go and here's what i'm gonna go with and i'm gonna send you
01:25pictures of my food because we're foodies and we love doing fun things and sharing it with each
01:31other like he does the same thing when he's away and but in the rereading listening to you read it
01:36yeah she's all talking about this secrecy you asked him about something yeah and then he told
01:41you what happened right he told you the truth of it he got dinner with a woman he met at
01:46work
01:46yeah he didn't he could have easily that was what a year almost a year ago oh i went out
01:53with bill
01:54no way of confirming that right he could have just said i went out for drinks and i got three
01:59drinks
01:59and you know how expensive those can be so maybe the fact that he was so honest is why you
02:05should
02:05trust him and so yes us men tend to leave details out our buddy's getting a divorce and you get
02:12home
02:12and you go what happened i don't know right we're right who divorced too i don't know i didn't ask
02:17but we talked a lot about sports yeah the point is sometimes we forget to add the details but this
02:23was his chance to be like if he if there was a lie to be had he could have lied
02:26right there yeah i don't
02:28like the fact that it was a very expensive dinner and it seems like he probably paid for her yeah
02:33oh
02:33clearly like that's what it seems like he paid for her and it's a woman that he met through work
02:37and he
02:38paid for her and this wasn't on the company bill this was so that that maybe that is worth the
02:45conversation but if this is just the first time this has ever happened maybe give him the benefit
02:49of the doubt right or are there red flags that we're missing now you're red flagging because if
02:54he's on a work trip and it's with a co-worker it is a meal that should be paid for
02:59by the office
03:00yeah and then i know at least in our experience like you can't cover alcoholic drinks and so like
03:06i always would like split the bill right i'll pay for my alcohol and then i'll charge the receipt
03:11back to the company you know what i mean there's ways to do it maybe he just forgot i don't
03:16know
03:16but that's not part of it we just we don't know what we want to know is what there are
03:20flags now
03:21there's some yellow flags what do we do jeff because both of us were kind of thinking oh this
03:25is not a big deal he kind of just told the truth and it was and you mentioned it's only
03:28the first time
03:29kind of is a big deal though seems like maybe it's a big deal i don't know what clarissa thinks
03:34it's a big
03:34deal so she asks am i overreacting or is the secrecy itself a real breach of trust
03:41you
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