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Desperate Housewives S02E24
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00:12Previously on Desperate Housewives
00:14This'll sweep her right off her feet
00:16You dog, you're gonna ask Susan to marry you, aren't you?
00:19I didn't say that
00:20They say money can't buy love
00:22My gift to you
00:23You bought us a house?
00:25Or even happiness
00:26I have another child, Lynette
00:28I only just found out about it
00:30I am not having an affair
00:31And it certainly can't ease
00:33You don't want to have sex with me?
00:35Don't take it personally
00:36A guilty conscience
00:37See, that's why I can't give you the keys to the kingdom, kid
00:40No balls
00:45Do I know you?
00:46Orson Hodge, Susan's dentist friend
00:48The only thing that can bring true peace of mind
00:51You by any chance recognize the jacket?
00:53The jacket belongs to my other son
00:55Is admitting the truth
00:57We have to find them, Bree
00:58And get Danielle back
00:59And setting yourself free
01:01Now they're trying to leave
01:03And these morons
01:04Run like nothing
01:04Don't struggle
01:06You by any chance
01:08...
01:14...
01:23...
01:56Have they rung up your prescription yet?
01:57I'm getting it right now.
01:58Good. Add that on.
02:01You're dyeing your hair honey wheat blonde?
02:03Oh, it's not for me.
02:06It's for Danielle.
02:08That hair is going back to the color God intended.
02:11You actually think she's going to sit still as you towel this through her hair?
02:14Oh, I will tie her down if necessary.
02:17I'm also thinking of checking her body for piercings while I'm at it.
02:20You're overreacting. She's just going through a phase.
02:23That's what girls her age do.
02:25They also get pregnant and become drug addicts.
02:28And that color hair is the gateway.
02:33Would you please add that to our bill?
02:36I'm telling you, Bree, you're going to have to stop riding them so hard.
02:39I am trying to ensure that they turn into responsible adults.
02:42Trust me, Rex.
02:43In the end, we will be rewarded.
02:46How can you be so damn sure of yourself all the time?
02:49Why is my certainty a flaw?
02:51I know what I'm about, I know my values, and I know what's right.
02:55Why shouldn't I stay the course?
02:57Am I right, Mr. Williams?
02:59My mother always took a firm hand with me, and I thank her for it.
03:03Exactly.
03:04And look how well you turned out.
03:11Look, you're a good mother, but there's a limit.
03:14You have got to relinquish some control, or else you're going to regret it.
03:34Excuse me, do you have the time?
03:37Yes, just after eight.
03:39Oh, I was afraid of that.
03:41Afraid of what?
03:42Well, I'm only supposed to be restrained until seven.
03:44You see, I have a problem with sleepwalking.
03:47They just tie me up so they don't wander off and hurt myself.
03:51Yeah, well, I'm sure a nurse will be in here soon.
03:52One can only hope.
03:55Of course, if a doctor gets here first and sees that someone forgot to release me,
04:01I'm sure they're getting in a lot of trouble.
04:03Lady, I can't let you out of your restraints.
04:05I'd get fired.
04:06Oh.
04:08Well, I certainly would not want that to happen.
04:14What's your name?
04:15Alfred.
04:15Oh, does anybody ever call you Alfie?
04:19No.
04:21And why should they?
04:25So, um, Alfred, I was wondering if you could maybe loosen my restraints.
04:31They're incredibly tight, and I'm sure there are no rules against making me more comfortable.
04:42Do you think I'm stupid?
04:44I beg your pardon?
04:45Two seconds after I loosen these little restraints, you'll try to scratch my eyes out and make a run for
04:49it.
04:52Well, I'm not falling for it, you psycho little bitch.
04:54In fact, I hope they keep you tied up for the next month, because I'd get a real kick out
04:58of watching a prissy little whack job like you lying in your own filth.
05:02You know what I mean?
05:07Okay.
05:21Be careful with those.
05:22It's the last of the crystal.
05:25Hey, what's going on?
05:26Oh, hi.
05:28Um, we're just moving.
05:30Hey, it's the plumber.
05:32You come over to help Susie move into her new house?
05:35New house?
05:36Well, she didn't tell you?
05:37I bought a place for my girls.
05:40You let him buy you a house?
05:41Uh, well, he's not moving in with us.
05:44After that speech about wanting to go it alone, and after I offered to let you stay with me?
05:48To be fair, you just had a spare room, and this is a whole house.
05:53Hey, no offense.
05:54If you're not using your back, you're just in the way.
05:57You saw me buying that ring, and you just had to cut me off.
06:01You bought me a ring?
06:02Susie, let me handle this.
06:04The man's got to protect his family, huh?
06:07Uh, Mike, about that ring.
06:09Put that box down.
06:10What? You're going to hit me, huh?
06:14Oh, my God.
06:15What are you?
06:16Stop it.
06:17Oh, that's enough.
06:18Get off.
06:19Go, go.
06:21Oh, my God.
06:23Oh, stop.
06:24Get up.
06:24And that's enough.
06:25Back up.
06:26And that ring, that was for me, right?
06:28Not now.
06:30Oh, my.
06:33Carl, are you okay?
06:35Oh, are you okay?
06:37Let me see.
06:38Oh, my God.
06:43Oh, my God.
06:44Can you sit up?
06:57Charmé, do you have a second?
06:59This is probably silly, but it's been bothering me.
07:03When you said, please don't kill him, did you mean Carlos?
07:06Ralph dead.
07:08Not Mr. Solis.
07:09I know.
07:10It's just you said kill, not dead.
07:13And I'd have to be pretty angry to kill someone.
07:16So, I guess my question is, do I have a reason to be angry at Mr. Solis?
07:22Please, so much laundry.
07:30Charmé?
07:32How did you rip your panties?
07:42Mr. Young, you'll need to come up to the house to sign some legal documents.
07:54What for?
07:55Noah Taylor's will called for an immediate transference of his entire estate to you upon his death.
08:04So, everything's mine?
08:06That's correct.
08:15Hi, Dad.
08:16So, did you have any luck with your grandfather?
08:18Yeah, I talked to Noah.
08:20He's not going to give us the money.
08:21Damn it, Zach.
08:22Sorry?
08:23Go back and talk to him.
08:24No, I don't think he's going to change his mind.
08:27Terrific.
08:28Am I going to see you tomorrow?
08:29No, I can't come tomorrow.
08:31What about Monday?
08:32Next week's bad for me, too.
08:34I'll call you when I know.
08:35Zach.
08:37Zach!
08:38Is there anything I can do?
08:40Hey, give me a new phone with a different number.
08:46And fill in this stupid link.
08:58Oh, are you all right?
09:00Oh, yeah.
09:01I'm a little hopped up on pain medicine, but I shit my tooth on the salad, sure.
09:06Oh.
09:07Oh, you know, you should call my friend, Orson.
09:11He's a dentist.
09:11I'm sure he'll see you right away.
09:13Thanks.
09:16So, about that ring you bought, is there anything in particular you'd like to ask me?
09:22Nope.
09:24Not as long as Carl's got you wrapped around his finger.
09:27Okay, that's ridiculous.
09:28Carl doesn't have me wrapped around anything.
09:30You accepted a house from him, and you're nuts if you believe he doesn't have an ulterior motive.
09:35He's Carl.
09:36He's playing me.
09:37But that house is going to be a great place for my daughter to live.
09:41And when he makes his move, he's going to realize that I was really playing him.
09:49So, about that ring.
09:51I just don't want to get deeper into this and suddenly realize your heart's somewhere else.
09:56Mike, my heart is in the exact right place.
10:00God, I can't have this conversation.
10:03Now my tooth is throbbing.
10:05Of course.
10:08Okay.
10:11You don't even want to know what my answer would have been?
10:23Can we please get out of here?
10:25This place is gross.
10:26And, God, I'm starving.
10:28Yeah, I know, but we don't have any money, remember?
10:30That's why we should go to my house.
10:31I know the combination of my mom's safe.
10:33Okay, I've told you a thousand times, it's way too risky.
10:35No.
10:36Something you should know before you embark on this little adventure.
10:39I can get pretty bitchy when I'm not fed.
10:49Listen, I hope I'm not out of line here, but did you ever spend any time in prison?
10:54What, you can tell from my teeth?
10:57Jailhouse dentistry.
10:58Unmistakable and not pretty.
11:00Yeah, I did a little time in Kansas a few years back.
11:03You were a prison dentist?
11:05Uh, during dental school, we did freebie work on some of the poor guinea pigs behind bars, so no offense.
11:11You know, I had the feeling when I first saw you in the movie theater that we'd met before.
11:16I don't think so.
11:17I'm pretty sure.
11:18I think I know you.
11:19Any chance I was one of your guinea pigs?
11:22No.
11:23The only prison work I did was back in Virginia.
11:28Your diploma says you graduated from Minnesota.
11:32I'm licensed in three states.
11:34Open wide, please.
11:37Don't talk.
11:38I wouldn't want to hurt you.
11:47Carlos, you promised you'd come home today.
11:51I don't care what Tanaka wants.
11:53Rallying around this stupid house all by myself is not what I signed up for.
11:56No, no, no.
11:57Don't hang up on me.
11:58I'm not done yelling at you.
12:25This is Elise.
12:27How are you?
12:28The best you ever had.
12:42What's so funny?
12:44Me and my friend Justin had this bed.
12:46So you could lose your virginity first this summer at Bible camp.
12:50Guess I beat him to the punch.
12:54You were virgin?
12:57So it didn't show?
12:58Uh, no.
13:00No, I mean, I guess it was a little weird when you started naming the American presidents in order.
13:05Yeah, I wish you hadn't heard that.
13:08I was just trying to...
13:10No, no, you were good.
13:13Just if it comes up in school, Paul Revere was never a president.
13:17Oh, thanks.
13:20I, uh, had a really awesome time, Mrs. Elise.
13:24Oh, well, good.
13:25I'm glad.
13:26Because this can never happen again.
13:28Why?
13:29The only reason I did this is because I was angry at Carlos.
13:33Now, thanks to you, I'm not angry anymore.
13:35Well, you should be.
13:36I mean, the guy's never around.
13:38Hell, he's probably off having his own affair right now.
13:40Why?
13:42I seriously doubt that.
13:43How do you know?
13:44Because Carlos doesn't have an adulterous bone in his body.
13:47What we just did, he could never do.
13:49For him, sex isn't just sex.
13:51It's a sign of intimacy.
13:55It's the way he shows love.
13:58You know, instead of talking and listening and spending time with me.
14:09What was that for?
14:11Thought you needed a kiss?
14:16Well, since this is our last time, I guess we can make the most of it.
14:26So, you really trust him, huh?
14:30Completely.
14:34Like all good mothers, Gabrielle had purchased several top-of-the-line baby monitors.
14:41She had planned to use them to keep a close watch on her newborn child.
14:47That plan was about to change.
14:56So, I'm gonna go shopping, and then I'm gonna see my trainer,
14:59and I'll definitely be gone for like three hours.
15:06Okay, well, I gotta go.
15:07Have fun.
15:17Not Peter Penny.
15:18Mommy's got to change you now, because you stink.
15:26Here, take this.
15:27Oh, man.
15:29Shawné, that is amazing.
15:30You like?
15:31Oh, yeah.
15:33Sorry if I'm making a mess.
15:34It's okay.
15:36Mushu Park.
15:37Supposed to be messy.
15:39I wish Gabrielle could cook like this.
15:40Have you ever tried her enchiladas?
15:42One time.
15:43They make me sick.
15:52Mike still hasn't seen the invitation.
15:54He will, and he'll meet you for a romantic motor home rendezvous,
15:59and you'll propose, he'll accept, and you'll both live happily ever after.
16:02You really think that's what's gonna happen?
16:04It's my deepest hope.
16:07Oh, there he is.
16:32We're in.
16:39Holly?
16:40That's a good name.
16:41No way.
16:43Pamela.
16:43I said I wanted Penny.
16:45Ah, Lynette.
16:46Eight hours of grueling labor.
16:50It's not fair.
16:51Hi, there's stretch marks, but what are you gonna do?
16:53I've only known one Penny in my whole life, and she was a slut.
16:57Isn't your aunt named Penny?
16:58Yeah.
16:59That's her.
17:02Our daughter is officially named.
17:04You may go now.
17:05All right, I'll let you win this one, but I get to name the next one.
17:09You promised me we'd stop at four.
17:12Remember?
17:13You wanted four kids, I wanted one, and somehow we compromised on four.
17:18Can we please stop now?
17:20Lynette, you're hurting me.
17:21I will stop as soon as you promise.
17:25Okay, I promise.
17:27Okay.
17:31Honey, I didn't mean to upset you.
17:33I just...
17:34You've been so happy.
17:36Sweetie, sometimes when you're at work and I'm home alone with three young boys, I'm not so happy.
17:41And now I'm gonna be alone with four kids.
17:44Each one is a blessing, yes.
17:47But I don't think I can take any more blessings.
17:52More blessings could make me lose my mind.
17:56Do you understand?
17:57Yeah.
18:02Honey, that really hurt.
18:06Did it hurt for eight hours?
18:08No.
18:09Okay, then.
18:17I must have been crazy agreeing to this.
18:20Honey, you're gonna feel differently once you meet Kayla.
18:22She is a sweet, smart little girl.
18:24Plus, it'll help you get past your resentment on Nora.
18:26I don't...
18:29Here it goes.
18:34Hey, you!
18:48You must be Lynette.
18:49And you must be Nora.
18:51I guess it'd be weird if we hugged.
18:54Probably.
18:56Where's Kayla?
18:58Oh, she didn't come.
18:59We got into this huge fight and I was like...
19:01I just couldn't stand to look at her face on that long plane trip, so I dumped her at the
19:05neighbors.
19:07Hey, come on, you got me.
19:17So anyway, Kayla is doing great.
19:20She's so pretty.
19:21She's so smart.
19:23She's practically the star on her soccer team.
19:25I have the cutest picture.
19:27You know, we wouldn't need a picture if you'd actually brought her like you promised.
19:34Oh, gosh, I'm sorry.
19:35You know, but I just haven't had much time to get away on my own since, um...
19:39I've been taking care of your kid for the past 11 years.
19:42Super dad.
19:43Okay, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.
19:44I know it's been hard. You've done an amazing job.
19:47Thank you. I think so, too.
19:49Apology accepted.
19:51Anyway, I wasn't sure that I wanted Kayla here if we were gonna talk about business.
19:57Business?
19:58I was hoping that we could talk about child support since I've got like 11 years coming to me, right?
20:06You never told me I had a daughter.
20:08My lawyer thinks that I have a very good case.
20:11We can't afford this.
20:12We have four kids. Tom just lost his job. That bankrupt us.
20:17I'm the bad guy I know when he's the one that knocked me up and abandoned his child?
20:22How could he abandon her if he didn't even know she existed?
20:25That doesn't let him off the hook.
20:26You know, you better do right by me unless, of course, you want to be known as Mrs. Deadbeat Dad.
20:30Hey, look, just take it easy.
20:37We just gonna keep talking louder? Is that the plan? You wanna just keep raising your voice?
20:41Cause that's how you get what you want, right?
20:44You make a scene, you throw a tantrum, and everyone gets scared and backs off.
20:47Well, I don't work that way, lady. I don't care that my husband was so phenomenally stupid and or drunk
20:52to actually have sex with you. I'm not gonna let it ruin my life. Am I talking loud enough for
20:57that to get through to you?
21:05I'm just gonna pay the bill.
21:11Carl, we've been through a lot together. We will always be connected by Julie, but I know why you bought
21:17me that house and I'm not moving into it.
21:19Susie, come on.
21:20Carl, we are not getting back together. Not ever. You need to just stop and realize that it's over.
21:28I'm gonna marry Mike. So I need you to sign these, because I have to be divorced first.
21:38Mike popped the question.
21:39No, he was going to, but then you clocked him in the mouth with a salad shooter, remember?
21:44Actually, I'm gonna pop the question to him tomorrow night.
21:52Guess it cuts down on the suspense knowing he bought you a ring.
21:56You would think so, but no, it doesn't.
22:02This is a lot to ask for a man who still loves you, Susie.
22:05I know.
22:07But if you really do love me, you'll let me go.
22:18Okay, Susie. I can do that.
22:23Well, you know where to find me if it doesn't work out, huh?
22:25Oh, shut up.
22:31I don't see another way to make this work. We've gotta dip into the pensions.
22:34I don't like the sound of that.
22:36Well, it's that or the kids' college fund.
22:40We'll write Nora one big check, and in return, she'll sign away her claim for the back child support.
22:46If we're lucky, she'll take the bird in the hand.
22:48Okay, what are we talking about? How much?
22:50We need to show her we're serious.
22:5330,000?
22:54Are you kidding? 30?
22:55If she takes you to court, we'll lose and end up paying 11 years of child support all at once.
23:00We could lose the house.
23:02We are screwed. We are just plain screwed.
23:05Tom!
23:07I am trying very hard to be strong right now, and you melting down is not helping me.
23:14I'm sorry.
23:15I know. We're using up a huge chunk of our savings, but if it keeps that crazy woman out of
23:19our life, it is the best money we have ever spent.
23:24We will be okay.
23:28Hey there.
23:31I was surprised to hear you wanted a session.
23:34Well, there's nothing like being tied to a bed to change a girl's mind.
23:40What do you want to talk about?
23:42Anything at all. As you said, I have a lot of issues.
23:46Well, I assumed as much when you told the ridiculous story about your daughter running off with a murderer.
23:53Saw right through that, did you?
23:55I'm a trained professional, Brie. The human mind is my playground.
24:02Well, I'm glad that you're having fun.
24:04I'm sorry. I don't mean to be flip.
24:06But you came here because you were troubled.
24:09And then you refused any help we give you.
24:13Things were falling apart at home, and I just...
24:16I just needed a place to rest. That's all.
24:20I think there's more to it than that.
24:23Do you?
24:23I think it has to do with your kids.
24:26You don't want to talk about them.
24:29Why is that?
24:32Probably because I'm ashamed.
24:35Ashamed?
24:36My children were my life.
24:38They were the reason that I got up in the morning.
24:40So to have failed them as a parent.
24:42You think you failed them as a parent?
24:44Well, my son is a sociopath, and my daughter hates me enough to have run away from home.
24:47I'm certainly not going to get Mother of the Year any time soon.
24:50If your kids were here right now, what would you tell them?
24:53I would beg my son, Andrew, for forgiveness for having given up on him.
24:56And I would tell my daughter not to worry.
24:59That I have a plan to protect her.
25:02And just what is that plan?
25:27I don't understand.
25:29It's okay, man.
25:46so i've got everything ready to go flowers candles elvis costello cd all queued up who
25:51has the ring he does so wait you're gonna get down on one knee pop the question and while you're
25:55down
25:55there dig in his pocket what if you pull out his keychain i'm gonna have to find a way to
25:59force it
25:59on my finger oh man where'd you learn to kiss like that sorry that's penny's baby monitor it's
26:05always picking up weird frequencies no no no no don't turn it off oh move over my knees hit a
26:10dashboard i move seats back that's it oh yeah
26:54are you done with my husband
26:59good
27:03i have a little project for you
27:08okay gabby can we please talk about this you're the one that gave me permission remember
27:12you said go have sex with somebody to have meaningless sex carlos not to sleep with the
27:17woman who's carrying our child what does it matter look we're even you had an affair and i had an
27:23reason to you were never here i've been here carlos i have tried so hard to not be selfish and
27:29to put
27:30your knees above mine i mean for god's sakes look at me i have agreed to be a mother for
27:35you look gabby you
27:36have every right to be mad at me so i'm gonna go and check into a hotel room and let
27:40you cool down but we
27:41are going to work this out forget the hotel carlos get a lease
27:55i can go now too
27:57no you can start dinner what
28:01you're not going anywhere not as long as you have my baby in your belly
28:13i don't know what that meant but i didn't like the tone so just remember i am the boss of
28:17you
28:18or else i'm gonna make this the worst nine months of your life
28:30hi hi did you get the check yeah i wanted to talk to you about that do you have a
28:35minute
28:38tom
28:41i'm not the type of person that can't keep things bottled up inside
28:45really so i'm just gonna have to get this off my chest you made me feel really bad about myself
28:51yesterday at the restaurant my sincerest apologies you treated me like some sort of mercenary like
28:58the only reason i came here was to extort money from you well to be honest first we bought you
29:04pie
29:05then you tried to extort money from us see there it is again lynette that mean streak all i want
29:11is
29:11what's best for my child for tom's child as the mother of eighty percent of tom's children i don't
29:18think it's in their best interest for you to drive us into bankruptcy of course it isn't
29:27i signed the waiver that the lawyer sent over with the check
29:33and i'm not even asking for any back child support that's that's that's great thank you
29:39see lynette see it's not all about money it's not even a little bit about money it's about family
29:46because we're all a big family now
29:50sort of which is why i took all the money that you gave me and i put it all down
29:56on the sweetest
29:57little two-bedroom house over on arden drive
30:02arden drive over over by the mall like five minutes from here arden drive
30:09it's perfect i could drop kayla off here anytime so she can play with her new siblings
30:13she can spend time with her dad well to be clear how are you going to live how are you
30:19going to pay
30:20the mortgage you don't have a job here what is your problem with me lady i don't understand you don't
30:26know me you don't know what i can do and yet you just always just just always on the attack
30:35it's
30:35ugly and you should work on that here's what i think i think that we should all work on this
30:43because i don't want every christmas to turn ugly just because you and i don't get along
30:50yeah that would be a shame
31:40see i told you she wasn't home her car's not even here you said the safe was upstairs
31:54damn it my mother must have changed the combination
31:59okay wait here i'll be right back
32:15you did it
32:23you killed melanie you put your jacket on her body
32:28i saw it matthew the police showed me the pictures no you weren't there you don't know
32:35what happened oh god caleb hurt her and melanie threatened to bring us all down because of that
32:42so your solution was to make your brother think he murdered a girl to make me think it what other
32:47choice did i have i knew that you wouldn't hand caleb over to the police i knew that you would
32:52protect
32:52him i would have protected you well i really couldn't count on that nephew you don't love
32:58me as much as you love caleb you never have
33:05perhaps but it's because he's needed me more you are always going to find love in the world
33:12don't you understand he was only ever going to get it from me you know i know you believe that
33:22smile's trying so hard to forgive you
33:25who knows maybe one day i will
33:46911 what is your emergency i need the police
33:57see i told you she had cash
34:08oh
34:21danielle i don't know what you're planning but i need to talk to you right now give it up mom
34:26we're
34:26leaving i'm calling the police
34:34do you remember that girl melanie foster matthew is the one who killed her
34:41i know you don't want us to be together but that's the lamest thing i've ever heard
34:45his mother told me what happened it's true
34:53let's go danielle
35:03mom please move
35:04no i gave up on your brother and i'm not going to make that mistake with you
35:08you don't have time for this
35:13where did you get that
35:15what are you doing move away
35:18danielle
35:19danielle i want you to get out of the house now he's a killer
35:24shut up
35:25don't point that at my mother
35:26danielle
35:28i'm serious go
35:29what's wrong with you i'm gonna shoot you
35:32matthew stop it
35:41if that's what it takes
35:45to get my daughter
35:46stop it
35:47to see who you really are
35:49stop pointing that at my mother
35:52then fine
35:55what are you doing
35:56do it
35:57stop
35:58stop
35:59stop
35:59stop
35:59stop
36:00stop
36:00stop
36:00I don't know.
36:36It's okay, baby.
37:08Oh, my God.
37:28Oh, my God.
37:57You're just wasting your time.
38:29You're just wasting your time.
38:58You're just wasting your time.
39:26You're just wasting your time.
39:42You're just wasting your time.
40:12You're just wasting your time.
40:17Oh, sweet and unexpected.
40:25Do you want to come in?
40:27I'd love to.
40:57You're just wasting your time.
41:26You're just wasting your time.
41:28You
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