- 2 days ago
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00:21Hello?
00:35Who was that?
00:37Brian.
00:38And what did he have to say?
00:41He didn't say anything. He just hung up.
00:43So how do you know it was him?
00:45His breathing.
00:46He's got this funny little wheeze from his deviated septum.
00:50It's not the only thing about him that's deviated.
00:54I wonder what he wanted.
00:56Let's see.
00:56To come over here, throw himself at your feet and beg forgiveness?
01:00Brian doesn't do apologies.
01:02Well, he should, after what he did.
01:05It was too late.
01:06He pushed too hard.
01:10Now the game is over.
01:11I know.
01:13But I'm sorry.
01:15Doesn't matter.
01:16I'm going to be too busy being happy.
01:18I won't even have time to think about it.
01:20Whoever would have believed you, a married lady.
01:23I prefer the term domestic partner.
01:27Who cares what it's called, as long as I have David.
01:29And I have the apartment.
01:32Now you can bring home all the tricks you want, and you don't have to worry about disturbing me.
01:35Try not to scream so loud when you come.
01:37Well, wake up, Michael.
01:40Well, we'll see about that.
01:45Well, I guess this is it.
01:48Oh, I almost forgot.
01:51Here.
01:52Let me help you.
02:03I guess now this is it.
02:07Good luck, sweetie.
02:10And remember, you always have a place to come back to.
02:13That's very nice of you, Emmett.
02:15Especially since I'm still paying half the rent.
02:20Captain Nestor uses his magical fisting power.
02:22Quit it.
02:23It's too early for fisting.
02:24No, it's never too early for fisting.
02:26The gym called you.
02:27Andrew Taylor called again.
02:28And Ryder wants you.
02:29Oh, fuck the gym.
02:30Fuck the Taylor.
02:31And fuck Ryder.
02:32Could you please give me some aspirin or something?
02:35I have a bitch of a headache.
02:42It's been a week since the usual phone calls from Michael
02:45every five minutes to see away or something.
02:49Yeah, you could say that.
02:51Oh, yeah.
02:51Yeah, I can call.
02:52Yeah, thanks.
02:53Okay.
03:00Ted Schmidt.
03:02Brian.
03:04Brian who?
03:05Brian, who do you think?
03:07That's who.
03:08Oh.
03:09I didn't recognize your voice.
03:10You know, I don't think you've ever called me.
03:13Well, today's your lucky day.
03:14I'm not talking to you, remember?
03:15Yeah, right.
03:16So, what are you doing tonight?
03:18I haven't thought about it.
03:19Well, think about it and decide if you want to hang out.
03:23With you?
03:24You sound surprised.
03:26Uh, no.
03:27Surprised would be if I won the lottery or if an asteroid hit the Earth
03:30or if Richard Simmons was straight.
03:32No, try dumbstruck.
03:34That's so you're not busy.
03:35What?
03:36Do you have to ask?
03:38Woody's, after work.
03:46He wants me to meet him at Woody's.
03:50God, he must really be desperate.
03:54I didn't mean it like that.
03:56Now that he and Michael are no longer friends, my guess is that he needs somebody new to take
04:01for granted, so naturally he thought of me.
04:03You're not actually considering going, are you?
04:05No.
04:05Maybe I can resolve with a great Michael conflict and win the Nobel Peace Prize and score with
04:11one of Brian's riches.
04:12Oh, 49, 50.
04:17God, I hate my abs.
04:20I love your abs.
04:24I mean you.
04:26It means you.
04:27You're Emmett, right?
04:29Right.
04:30You work at Torso, right?
04:32Right.
04:32And your dentist is Dr. Felton, right?
04:34Right.
04:35How do you know who my dentist is?
04:37I was in his office last week.
04:38I had the appointment right after you.
04:40And by the way, I love space between your teeth.
04:44And both.
04:45That's French for beautiful.
04:46I know.
04:47And I've always thought you were kind of cute.
04:50You have?
04:51And I was wondering, maybe you'd like to go out sometime.
04:54As if you need to ask.
04:56I'd love to.
04:57As if he'd say no.
04:58Only I can't.
05:02But thanks for asking.
05:06Maybe some other time, though.
05:12Are you out of your mind?
05:13Guys like us do not turn down guys like him.
05:16You have acted in flagrant violation of the entire gay social structure.
05:19We're going to vote you out of the brotherhood.
05:21Let him.
05:21I made a promise to God, remember?
05:23That if I tested negative...
05:24I know you'd never have sex with another man.
05:26I know, but you're fine.
05:27It doesn't matter.
05:28I never want to go through the hell that I went through again.
05:31And I won't.
05:32Because someone kept his part of the bargain.
05:36Now it's my turn to keep mine.
05:40Hey.
05:41I didn't hear you come in.
05:43Oh.
05:47I just put Gus to bed.
05:49It's too late to see him then, huh?
05:51Oh, you can see him in the morning.
05:53He's asleep when I leave.
05:55Well, maybe he could leave later or even take the afternoon off.
05:58The point of my working longer days is so you can stay home.
06:02I appreciate how hard you work.
06:04It would be nice if you showed it.
06:06I thought I did.
06:08And I'm working, too.
06:11Taking care of our son.
06:13Your son and Brian's.
06:14I just pay the bills.
06:15Oh, are we really going to go through this again?
06:17Nah, let's pretend everything's fine.
06:19I didn't say everything's fine.
06:21I just don't feel the need to constantly talk about it.
06:24Well, I'm Jewish.
06:25And after neo-Nazis, there's nothing the Jews fear more than silence.
06:28Well, I'm not like that.
06:29I don't have the need to constantly express everything that I'm feeling.
06:32Well, I wish you'd try.
06:34Because after that fiasco at Brian's, you've turned off to me physically, emotionally.
06:37As usual, you're catastrophizing.
06:39Turning every little slight into a rejection.
06:41You never want to make love.
06:42You barely want to have a discussion.
06:43Has it ever occurred to you that I might be tired?
06:46Well, I'm tired, too.
06:48I'm tired of trying to get through to you.
06:49Of figuring out what the hell I did wrong.
06:52Of wondering why, instead of feeling closer than we've ever been,
06:54I have never felt more alone.
07:02Aren't you going to say anything?
07:06What would you like for dinner?
07:08I can heat up some pot roast.
07:14Shooters.
07:19Shooter.
07:21Grand, teeny shooters.
07:23Anybody?
07:25I'll come on, guys.
07:30So, how was work?
07:32Fat Marley had this really incredible hickey.
07:35And there was a sale on protein powder,
07:37so every queen in the city was there, except for you, of course.
07:40Boring.
07:41Work was boring.
07:44How about you?
07:45Don't tell me.
07:46You took the client to this really fancy restaurant for lunch,
07:49and there was this really hot waiter,
07:51and he signaled for you to meet him in the linen closet,
07:53and he gave you this amazing blowjob,
07:56and then you went back to the table,
07:57and the client never knew.
07:58How'd you guess?
08:02I asked you about work.
08:05I took a client to lunch,
08:06and the waiter blew me in the linen closet.
08:08Really?
08:09Liar!
08:10You're such a liar!
08:18So, have you talked to him?
08:19Who?
08:21Michael.
08:22What for?
08:24Oh, for no other reason than he's your best friend.
08:26Was my best friend.
08:31Why don't you just call him?
08:32I told you.
08:34He's out of my life,
08:35and I'm out of his.
08:37So, would you please
08:38shut the fuck up about it?
08:41Hey.
08:42How's it going?
08:45I'm not interested.
08:51However,
08:52I am available for safe sex and estate planning.
09:00Actually,
09:01I do have some investment questions.
09:11Oh, I tell you what.
09:14You help me diversify my portfolio,
09:17I'll help diversify yours.
09:24That's the last one.
09:26You're sure?
09:28Well, yeah, for the most part.
09:29I mean, I'm gonna go back and get the rest tomorrow.
09:32Rest?
09:34You got a lot of stuff.
09:36Well, you know,
09:37if I find something I like,
09:40I hold on to it, you know,
09:41for keeps.
09:42I hope that applies to me,
09:43I hope that applies to me,
09:44I hope that applies to me.
09:45Especially to you.
09:48So where should I put it?
09:49Wherever you want, baby.
09:51I meant my stuff.
09:54You decide.
09:55It's our place now.
09:58Great.
10:01But why don't you wait until tomorrow morning?
10:04Because I got plans for us tonight.
10:06Oh?
10:06Oh.
10:07Oh.
10:11Oh.
10:29You sure you're okay getting home?
10:32Yeah, I know the way.
10:34I bet.
10:46I'm so lucky.
10:48Why's that?
10:50Well, normally about this time
10:52I'd be coming out of Woody's
10:53waiting in the Jeep
10:55for Brian to finish getting a blowjob
10:56so I could drive him home.
11:00And instead,
11:03instead I'm here
11:04with you.
11:08I'm lucky too.
11:12I love you, Michael.
11:41Hey, sleepyhead.
11:42What are you doing up so early?
11:44Well, I couldn't wait to unpack my stuff.
11:47So what do you think?
11:54It's, uh, it's great.
11:59I especially like the, um, were you, the, uh, the pudding, what's his name?
12:06Captain Astro.
12:07Yeah, I wasn't sure how you were going to feel about that.
12:10Oh, it adds a real, uh, whimsical touch.
12:16I'm still not sure where to put my toy robots.
12:20Well, I'm sure you'll find the perfect place.
12:23Now, come on, let's go back to bed.
12:25Bed?
12:25Some of us have to work.
12:27It's Saturday.
12:28The big queue never closes.
12:31I was kind of hoping we'd just get back and watch the game.
12:35Well, I've never really been into watching the game.
12:40Or Saturdays.
12:41You have something against Saturdays?
12:44Well, that was the day that all the kids did stuff with their dads.
12:50And I didn't have one, so I kind of dreaded Saturdays.
12:58Well, I can promise you, only happy Saturdays from now on.
13:11Another therapist.
13:13With that attitude, we'll get a lot accomplished.
13:15But you're the one who's got a problem.
13:16And you don't?
13:17Only the one you're creating.
13:19Oh, Christ, am I living in this house alone?
13:22Maybe you'd be happier if you were.
13:27I'll get it.
13:30Meet my latest trick.
13:34I didn't know you're into bears.
13:36I thought you preferred the young, hairless, not admitted without a parent or guardian type.
13:39Where's my son?
13:40Our son is taking a nap.
13:43Well, I thought I'd drop by for dinner.
13:45It's two o'clock in the afternoon.
13:48Then I'll just hang out.
13:49Hang out?
13:49Since when did you hang out with the likes of us?
13:51Since Michael's no longer in the picture.
13:53It's just as well.
13:54Mikey and I were holding on to each other for too long.
13:57I mean, when you think about it, what do we even have in common?
13:59Your lives.
14:02Aside from that.
14:04Anyways, it worked out for the best.
14:06Thanks to my divine intervention, he's with a good doctor now.
14:09Where he belongs.
14:11Look, I guess it's not too late.
14:13For what?
14:14To fix things.
14:16Some things are better left broken.
14:22So, what do you say we play a little Scrabble?
14:27I got this off the internet.
14:28Wait till you hear it.
14:30Ten ways to know if your husband is gay.
14:34Number one.
14:34At your wedding, he kisses the best man instead of you.
14:39Number two.
14:40For your birthday, he brings you flowers and arranges them.
14:45Number three.
14:48What's the matter?
14:49You're not laughing.
14:50I don't think it's very funny, that's all.
14:53Well, I think it's a scream.
14:55Don't you, Mike?
14:57I wasn't really listening.
15:04You're entitled to think whatever you want.
15:06But so am I.
15:07And what I think is that people who laugh at jokes that make fun of other people,
15:13whoever they are, are ignorant and cruel.
15:20What's her problem?
15:22What's her problem?
15:31Mr. Novotny?
15:33Mr. Tracy?
15:35I wanted to give you something.
15:37What?
15:38Two weeks' notice.
15:41I got a job at the big dollar mart.
15:45I should really get back.
15:47My break's over.
15:51I should really get back.
16:02I'm not interested.
16:06Ryan, hey.
16:07How's it going?
16:09What do you want?
16:11I'd like to tell you what a great time we had last night.
16:13I was born out of my fucking mind.
16:17Yeah, well, uh, you know, that's the sign of true friendship, you know, that it can accommodate
16:21vastly divergent points of view.
16:27I'm not interested.
16:32You know, just out of curiosity, how many guys hit on you a night?
16:37Give or take 112.
16:39I don't know.
16:40Amazing.
16:42And I only need one.
16:46I'm not interested.
16:50Excuse me.
16:53You know, tax season is coming up, and you don't want to get caught with your pants down.
17:10I'm not.
17:13Of course you are.
17:14You're always Matt.
17:17Or Scott.
17:18Or Todd.
17:20Or some other wonderful one-syllable name.
17:24I'd offer to buy you a drink, but something tells me you don't need another.
17:28Something tells me you might be right.
17:34Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go home.
17:37It's always nicer to vomit in your own toilet.
17:43Maybe I'd better give you a hand.
17:48Maybe you're just re-evaluating your life, questioning your choices, wondering if there's something better.
17:54Yeah.
17:55Yeah, that's it, exactly.
17:58How'd you know?
17:59Because I've seen the light, and seeing how miserable you looked at the bar made me think maybe you needed
18:04to see it, too.
18:08What's this?
18:09A group I belong to.
18:12I don't do very well in groups.
18:14I got thrown out of the Cub Scouts first week.
18:16I made a fabulous necklace on slip knots.
18:19Everyone's welcome in this group.
18:21And it's all people like us.
18:22Like us?
18:23People who are questioning and evaluating.
18:27Why don't you go to one of our meetings?
18:29All you've got to lose is your pain.
18:43You make a lot of tips.
18:45It's because I'm cute.
18:46And conceited.
18:48I could fuck practically anyone I wanted.
18:50So why don't you?
18:56Never mind.
18:58The answer just walked in the door.
19:00Hey.
19:02How's it going?
19:04What, you actually want to know?
19:05Well, I asked, didn't I?
19:09Everything's fine.
19:11Good.
19:13What are you doing tonight?
19:16Huh?
19:18Of these particularly hard questions?
19:21Do you want to come over after work?
19:25Really?
19:28Sure.
19:30I'll have a turkey sandwich.
19:31A whole grain.
19:32No mayo.
19:33To go.
19:37Do you realize this is the first time he's ever asked me to come over?
19:40So what do you think it means?
19:49It means he misses Michael.
19:52Are those guys really never going to talk to each other again?
19:55Looks that way.
19:57It's fine when you talk to him.
20:00Me?
20:01I thought you loved Brian.
20:03And you're staying in Michael's bedroom.
20:05It would make you like the missing link.
20:08Well, go on.
20:15Hey, Boy Wonder.
20:16A couple of lemon squares to go.
20:18Sure.
20:29Aren't you going to talk to him?
20:33What for?
20:34He's right there.
20:36Stay the fuck out of it.
20:38Okay.
20:40Okay.
20:41Okay.
20:44Okay.
20:46Okay.
20:47Okay.
20:48Okay.
20:51You guys should talk.
20:52You should mind your own business.
20:54Yeah, but he's your best friend.
20:55Just keep those in squares.
20:57Hey, where's my order?
21:02This is a turkey sandwich.
21:05These are lemon squares.
21:24Honey, I'm home.
21:27I've always wanted to say that.
21:28Hey, I thought I heard you coming.
21:31Now, honey, you really are home.
21:33Yeah, I picked these up for dessert.
21:36That was the game.
21:41Penguins lost in overtime.
21:43These are beautiful.
21:46Place looks different.
21:48Yeah, well, I put a few things away.
21:53Yeah, like all my stuff.
21:56Oh, well, it was a bit cluttered.
22:02How was your day?
22:03My day?
22:04My day was compelling.
22:06Chock full of event.
22:07We got a new handicap ramp,
22:08and Fat Marley regaled us with her witty repertoire of fag jokes.
22:13What did you do?
22:14I told her I'm an out and proud homosexual,
22:16and if she doesn't like it, she can suck my dick.
22:20I didn't do anything.
22:23Tracy did.
22:24Stood right up to her.
22:27Good.
22:27So she's still your friend?
22:30I wouldn't say that.
22:33Hey, well, one good thing came out of what Brian did.
22:37I made you realize that you belong here with me.
22:41Take off your jacket.
22:42Get ready for dinner.
22:55One spoonful left.
22:56You want it?
22:58No, that'll mean ten more minutes on the Stairmaster.
23:01Come on.
23:02I want to see you licking off the spoon.
23:04I don't know.
23:20Nice kiss.
23:23I should eat more, you know.
23:26my mom says you're too skinny your mom she doesn't completely hate you you know
23:34i told her you were always skinny even when you were in high school you don't know what i looked
23:39like in high school i live in michael's old room remember with all his old high school yearbooks
23:45pictures of you you're a geek i was never a geek i'd explain chemistry club that's where i learned
23:54to build the bomb to blow up the school but mikey talked me out of it good thing he was
24:00around
24:04i bet you wish he was here right now would you shut the fuck up about him
24:09i bet you're secretly wishing that the phone would ring and it would be i said shut the fuck up
24:18and his life he's just gonna hang there like some shirt in a closet you never wear
24:25so you pushed him away that was the only course of action yeah but now he hates you
24:30it's okay as long as mikey's happy
24:36god you must really love him
24:40i think it's time for you to go
24:43it always is luckily you can't push me away
24:53i'm on to you
25:15i'm on to you
25:17i'm on to you
25:18i'm on to you
25:21i'm on to you
25:26emmett you came it's good to see you
25:29hi i'm ty and i have seen the light
25:32let's go
25:33hi ty
25:34our first speaker tonight is ginger and she was formerly in the dark but now she's seen the light
25:44believe it or not i uh used to be a lesbian used to be but thanks to ty and every
25:51beautiful person
25:52here i've shed my former corrupt self and become the new purified heterosexual me
26:03as you can see the only thing that comes out here is the truth you didn't tell me this was
26:08a comedy club
26:08i can tell you and ginger can tell you
26:12that what you're all hoping and praying for
26:15it's not an impossible dream
26:17it could come true for you the same way it's come true for us
26:22you can change you can change you can change
26:26i'd start with those shoes
26:32you
26:34uh me
26:35you've got your doubts don't you
26:38well let me ask you a few questions
26:40do you and your friends obsess about your bodies and the bodies of other men
26:45check out his pecs
26:47they're like perfect
26:48they're like implants
26:49do your conversations center around trivialities
26:52such as movie stars
26:55did you hear the chair had her pussy tightened
26:58where'd you read that the inquirer or popular mechanic
27:00are your days and nights spent at the gym and in bars
27:04going home with men whose names you don't even know
27:07so he's coming
27:09and he's going fred fred fred who's fred
27:13so maybe you should ask yourself
27:16is this the life i want for me
27:19is this the life god wants for me
27:23is there a better life
27:28you looking for something
27:30yeah my beach ball alarm clock
27:35this clock is from the museum of modern art design collection
27:41i thought you said this is my place too
27:43it is
27:44well how come i don't see any of my things
27:51michael
27:52you know your things
27:54your toys
27:55they're they're
27:56they're cute and they're cute like you
27:59you know they
27:59they sort of don't belong
28:05let me explain it by saying that
28:07this is an architectural house
28:11everything has its place
28:12so if you clutter it up it ruins the aesthetic
28:16oh so i'm i'm cluttering it up
28:17no i didn't mean it that way
28:21they're not just toys
28:24okay some of them are collector's items
28:26like like my japanese robots
28:27or or my bakelite batmobile
28:29that was made during world war two
28:31when metal was scarce
28:34and
28:36even if they were worthless
28:40they would still be worth something to me
28:43because i love them
28:47i kind of thought you knew that
29:03i just got your phone call
29:04i literally ran over here
29:07so what is the emergency
29:09him
29:11he's here every day now
29:12showing up for meals
29:13we're suddenly one big happy fucking family
29:15i don't know
29:16i sense some tension
29:18between you and mel
29:20well she blames me for everything
29:23including you
29:26you should have kept your promise
29:27to give her gus
29:28if she wants a kid
29:29she can have one of her own
29:30no she can't
29:33gus was supposed to be hers and mine
29:35not yours and mine
29:38well lindsay's always complaining
29:39he never spends enough time with gus
29:41you're a big help
29:42can't you do something
29:44like what
29:44like get him and michael back together
29:46so he will leave us alone
29:48are you kidding
29:48you even mentioned michael's name
29:50he'll tear your head off
29:51yeah well that's what i'm about to do to him
29:53she also thinks i've turned into this cold
29:55and responsive bitch
29:57have you
30:00maybe a little
30:02well then you'll find yourself some
30:03nice fuzzy lessee
30:05with a therapist license
30:07and work it out
30:07that's what mel wants
30:10what do you want
30:13i want
30:15i want
30:17i want a bagel
30:22and after that
30:23i don't know
30:25all i know is that
30:28if i talk
30:29i might say something i regret
30:32well that'd be good for you
30:34let out some of those nasty demons
30:35but i'm not like that
30:37see i'm a wasp
30:38from a family of wasps
30:42i'll tell you what
30:42i'll take him to the tea dancing woodies
30:44great idea
30:45thanks teddy
30:47i'm not really doing it for you
30:48you know
30:48hanging with brian
30:51best thing that's ever happened
30:52in my sex life
30:57see you marley
30:58bye trace
31:03bye mr novotny
31:08tracy
31:10yes mr novotny
31:12would you stop calling me that please
31:14what should i call you
31:16well i'm sure you can think of a few things
31:20i have to go
31:22you don't have to leave your job
31:24is there something wrong with the big dollar mark
31:27well it's not exactly the big queue
31:29no but at least people seem honest there
31:35you probably think this is all about you being gay don't you
31:39well i admit
31:40it might have been at first
31:43but that's not the point anymore
31:45whether you're gay or you're straight
31:47i thought we were friends
31:48we are
31:49our friends trust each other
31:52what did you think would happen if you told me
31:54that i'd tell everyone at the store
31:56what i wouldn't have
31:58i wouldn't have mike
32:00don't you know that
32:03i should have
32:05but when you spend your entire life keeping it a secret
32:09we really are
32:11you learn to stop trusting people
32:13and it becomes second nature
32:18it kills me that i heard you trace
32:20and i'd do anything to take that back
32:23i know i don't deserve to ask this
32:27but do you think we could still be friends
32:31do you think we could be friends
32:37well why don't we go have a cup of big queue coffee and find out
32:41i'd like that
32:42but then i really do have to go
32:45have a date
32:47is he straight
32:59last night we had the house to ourself
33:01alone
33:07by the way janet and that dickhead husband of hers
33:10they finally sent us a card congratulating us on gus
33:13only took three months
33:19you expect too much mel
33:21what
33:23i said you expect too much
33:25that my sister could at least acknowledge the birth of our son
33:28of me
33:30you want all my time
33:31my devotion
33:32and if you don't get it
33:33you think we have a problem
33:35you get angry that i see the baby more than you
33:37you blame me because brian wouldn't give you parental rights
33:39i suppose it's even my fault that i can have a child and you can't
33:42hey that's not fair
33:44i feel like i spend half my life apologizing to you trying to convince you that i love you
33:50only nothing's ever enough
33:54i'm starting to wonder if anything ever could be
34:12well i asked you to talk and you did
34:36i tell you hanging with brian is exhausting
34:41but it's worth it for the sex
34:43you're having sex with brian
34:45of course not
34:47we have symbiosis
34:48oh my god
34:49is there anything they can do
34:51you mustn't give up hope
34:53it's not a disease
34:54it's a perfect relationship
34:55you know like uh
34:57the yellow tick bird and the rhinoceros
35:00the yellow tick bird feeds on parasites on the rhino's skin
35:04and in turn the rhino is warned of impending danger when the tick bird flies away
35:10similarly
35:11i supply brian
35:13an object of scorn and ridicule
35:15namely myself
35:16and he supplies me
35:18with unwanted ticks
35:20uh
35:21tricks
35:22you're doing this for cast-offs
35:24well
35:25in bed
35:26you can't tell
35:27they're as good as new
35:30ted
35:33have you ever
35:34asked yourself
35:35is going to tea dances with brian
35:38and
35:38having indiscriminate sex with countless strangers
35:41really the life i want
35:43i have
35:45and the answer is
35:46you bet your ass it is
35:49have you ever wondered
35:50is this the life god wants for me
35:52well
35:53i suppose in his infinite wisdom
35:56he decided somebody had to live in pittsburgh
36:00have you ever wondered
36:00is there a better life
36:04yeah
36:06i could have a ten inch dick and look like him
36:09well who wouldn't want that
36:31hi
36:33what are you doing here
36:34looking for you
36:36well how'd you find me
36:37well first i asked your mom
36:39then i called david
36:40is there anyone you didn't ask
36:41then i asked brian
36:43what'd you do that for
36:44look
36:45just butt out
36:47i told you before
36:48this is none of your business
36:48yeah
36:49now he said
36:50that whenever you feel sad or upset
36:51this is where you come
36:53that just being around all these comics
36:56brings the light into your eyes
37:00you said that
37:01i guess he knows you pretty well
37:03well he doesn't know me anymore
37:07yeah
37:09that is why he got you
37:10like this
37:13i told him already
37:14i don't want his crummy present
37:15wait
37:19he misses you
37:20but he's miserable without you
37:21well good
37:22he deserves to be
37:23he loves you
37:25he'll never admit it
37:26but he does
37:26did you know that
37:27brian doesn't love anyone
37:30he doesn't believe in love
37:31remember
37:32you're the exception
37:34that's why he hurt you
37:35so he'd go back with david
37:38he knew if he didn't
37:39you'd be waiting for him forever
37:40that's bullshit
37:42this was his way of saying goodbye
37:47we've got some new friends to meet tonight
37:49whose dark world is about to be illuminated
37:52and afterwards i invite you all
37:53to gather in the foyer
37:54and have some incredible brownies
37:57baked by my incredible wife
38:00so let's get started
38:04hi
38:05i'm don
38:06hi don
38:08um
38:09how i got here is a long story
38:11but that doesn't matter because
38:13i'm here
38:15i've seen the light
38:16great
38:22hi i'm emmet
38:25hi
38:25and i uh
38:27i just want to say that
38:31i want to see the light too
38:39i want it
38:42i need it
38:45i feel it
39:06what are you doing here
39:07you're married now
39:09i can still look
39:11yeah well what's the good of looking if you can't touch
39:17want a beer
39:18how many of you had
39:19a few
39:20too many
39:21put track of the doctor
39:22not me
39:26i never thanked you for my gift
39:28your gift
39:28your ward tracked me down
39:30insisted that i take it
39:32yeah well i'll have to punish him severely
39:34it's the neatest thing i ever got
39:36i thought so
39:41you want to dance
39:50it felt weird not talking to you
39:52well i never thought about it
39:54i heard you were freaking out
39:56yeah who told you that
39:57everybody
39:58ted
39:58lindsey
39:59well they're pathological liars
40:01i wouldn't trust them
40:01you are so busted
40:02so how's the happy cover
40:05are you really interested
40:06not in the slightest
40:10it's gonna be fine
40:11except he doesn't know that superman dies in the crisis on infinite earth
40:14or that bad girl is now crippled in a wheelchair for being raped by the joker
40:17or that for that one special day in 1970 captain astro became astro woman
40:23exactly
40:24you are so pathetic
40:26hey
40:35give him time
40:38he'll learn
41:00hey
41:01hey
41:03i feel like i haven't seen you all weekend
41:05you haven't
41:06in fact i think i probably saw you more when you didn't live here
41:11i noticed you've been doing a little redecorating
41:14you know i felt the place needed a little warmth
41:16a little charm
41:17a little whimsy
41:20a little you
41:27well i suppose we could put some of the stuff away
41:34you know
41:35you know your moving in was a big change for me too
41:37i saw your stuff and i suddenly realized
41:40that i was
41:43we again
41:45that my life was now
41:48our life
41:51kind of freaked me out
41:56well i'm glad to know i'm not the only one who's scared shitless
42:00you know i've uh
42:02been reading your comics
42:04oh yeah
42:05i hope you don't mind
42:06i i never really got a chance to do that when i was a kid
42:08my parents were
42:09pretty strict
42:10you probably had to read tolstoy
42:12and stuff like that
42:13actually
42:14they're kind of fun
42:17did you know
42:19that for one special day in 1970
42:23captain astro
42:24became astro
42:25woman
42:34you