- 2 days ago
Last Of The Summer Wines S02 Ep4 Some Enchanted Evening
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00:26Oh
00:32How much longer?
00:34Well, they're usually here by now.
00:36If they're going to keep on taking and bringing your telly back,
00:40then you ought to get a firm that's more punctual.
00:43There. They're not so bad. I've reached out to over the year.
00:46And once when I had a bad run with the GTs, they kept it in for four weeks.
00:49They used to let me go round and watch it on Saturday afternoons in the workshop.
00:53Don't know how he's got the blasted cheek. Practice.
00:56Oh, they said they were glad too.
00:58They said it were cheaper than running it back and forth.
01:00Have you ever thought of simply keeping up the payments?
01:02Oh, we all have these rash moments when we've had a few, don't we?
01:07But the next morning, it's back to reality.
01:10I don't know why they'd bother with him.
01:12They must need a customer like him, like they need watercress and a jockstrap.
01:17I understand that his influence dates from the time when he caught the manager
01:21adjusting a horizontal hold on her from the record counter.
01:25Ah, in broad daylight, during the dinner hour, on the test bench.
01:30I did not get a touch of the static.
01:33And I'd only nipped in for him to solder this earring for me, buddy.
01:37Ah, there we are.
01:42Ah, have they sent thee then, Eric?
01:44Yes, they bloody have.
01:49Eric's a qualified engineer.
01:50Well done, Eric.
01:52It pitted it all at night school.
01:53Highly commendable.
01:55Yeah.
01:55It was him what sold on all me earrings for me ferrets.
01:58Not everybody would.
02:00We won't do it again, though.
02:01Why not?
02:02Well, little, little monkey bit him.
02:04Well, I've got to carry it then.
02:05One player, three spectators.
02:08You know, we'd like to help the earring, but it's a question of the insurance.
02:12You're the only one who can drop it and be coming.
02:16Of course, since he's been qualified, he's done much like these neighbouring jobs.
02:20You're not so keen on them, either.
02:21Right, but he wasn't qualified.
02:26Where's that blonde tinted, Eric?
02:28He's been bringing it lately.
02:29Fell off the stupid roof, didn't he?
02:32Let me fix the aerial, he said.
02:33So now he's got a pot on.
02:35He's been grounded.
02:39Ah, Laura Batty, my true love.
02:43My old nickelminton monk.
02:45He gets daft.
02:46She spoke to me.
02:47You heard her, she spoke to me.
02:50All right, take it downstairs, Eric.
02:51You know where it goes.
02:52Oh, my little Dora, Dora.
02:55Don't you come near me.
02:57Well, one thing or another, he leads a fairly full and active life.
03:01He's about as much use to the community as who've been caught.
03:04Dora, why does he keep chasing that woman?
03:08I expect because it's more fun than actually catching her.
03:11I shall fetch me husband.
03:12Oh, Dora, come out to that woolly jumper and them baggy drawers.
03:16And show the world the real thee.
03:20Oh, the way he embarrasses people.
03:22And it's entirely self-taught.
03:24He's never had a lesson in his life.
03:27There he is.
03:28He's been on about me drawers again.
03:31Tell him.
03:33Well, say something to him.
03:35How do you, compo?
03:37Go away.
03:38Don't chat to him.
03:40Terrify him.
03:42I brought you out here to frighten him.
03:47Oh, Sid, you've got your television back.
03:50Ah, but they were late, though.
03:52Satiric.
03:53He's a bit bullshit.
03:54Hey, I heard that.
03:56Oh, that Eric.
03:58Are you going to let him do what he likes with me?
04:00What's to like about it?
04:03Ask him.
04:04Ask him if he's aware that he's lewd and obscene.
04:09Of course he's aware.
04:11Everybody knows he's lewd and obscene, don't they?
04:14Aye, it's common knowledge.
04:17How's your business?
04:17Not so clever this season.
04:20Don't you care?
04:21Don't you care?
04:23Of course I care, woman.
04:25I don't spend all that bloody money on corn for him to come rolling home after everybody else's.
04:31Oh, shit!
04:36He don't know how lucky he is to have a woman to care for him and carry him about like
04:41that.
04:45I think he's in love again, Cyril.
04:48You can always tell when his teeth go that funny colour.
04:51White.
04:52You don't think he's cleaning them again, do you?
04:54Oh, my God.
04:56Here we go.
05:09He's putting his luck a bit with the new librarians.
05:14It's blowing in the wind, Jones.
05:17It sounds like music, Miss Probert.
05:19It is music.
05:20The sound of liberation.
05:22This is the age of liberation, Jones.
05:24What is it?
05:25The age of liberation, Miss Probert?
05:27A few years ago, you'd have been the slave of some male.
05:30Do you really think so, Miss Probert?
05:32Definitely.
05:33You'd have been nothing more than a sexual object.
05:36How fortunate to have escaped such a humiliation.
05:39You're having the plaything of some masculine oaf.
05:42Instead of which, I'm free.
05:45Lonely.
05:46The librarian.
05:47You are not lonely, Jones.
05:50You are liberated.
05:51You've got the fellowship of the movement.
05:54The comradeship of every emancipated brother female.
05:57Oh, goody.
05:59You like men.
06:01I can't help it.
06:03Well, of course you can help it, Jones.
06:05Our chairwoman did.
06:07She went through the minefield of divorce for the love of a lady traffic warden.
06:12It's that simple response to the call of duty which distinguishes our movement, Jones.
06:17I was very fond of Mr. Protherall.
06:20I even felt a sort of gentle affection for his strangely non-symmetrical legs.
06:28Commit yourself to us, Jones, and I promise you this.
06:31You'll find many amongst us with non-symmetrical legs.
06:37Some cheeky hand's got a wireless on in here.
06:39I thought I could hear music, Miss Probert.
06:44Oh, you, you, you, Greg.
06:49You, Greg.
06:50You, Greg, Dorsey, librarian.
06:51I nearly dropped it.
06:52You have dropped it.
06:53The clangor I've been waiting for.
06:55I've had my eye on you.
06:56You're out.
06:57These gentlemen were about for me.
06:58I was just sitting there.
06:59Out.
07:00Perusing through some of your educational literature.
07:02This minute, now.
07:03Suddenly, this complete stranger come up and put this tranny in me hand.
07:07Unsolicited music on library premises.
07:10That's typical masculine arrogance.
07:12Out.
07:13Go on, lads.
07:13I'm appealing to you.
07:15I don't find it very appealing, do you?
07:17Who is he?
07:18Oh, come on.
07:19Don't look about.
07:20Out.
07:20Don't ask me.
07:21I've never seen him before.
07:22His head's a funny shape.
07:24Will you get out?
07:25Or do I have to use my power under the bylaws?
07:28No, not that.
07:29I mean, what do we know about him except that he likes trickly music?
07:32He reminded me of somebody.
07:35Ah, that's exactly the epitaph that I'd like on my gravestone.
07:39He knows how to wear clothes.
07:41Out.
07:43Hello, hello, hello.
07:44He's given himself up for fingerprinting.
07:46Perhaps it's his initial.
08:08Just as I thought.
08:10You're all together.
08:11You're an organized gang.
08:12Get out.
08:13You're an organized gang.
08:24No.
08:27No.
08:46Well, look, I'm disappointed in thee.
08:49Now let me down.
08:50Well, we got thrown out at the same time as you.
08:52It's humiliating for a man of my background.
08:54It's your foreground that's becoming noticeable these days.
08:57I didn't get thrown out with it. I got thrown out after.
09:00They stood there, Sid, and they let me down.
09:03A disused mineshaft, I hope.
09:08You and all, eh?
09:11Nobody wants me.
09:14What's up with him?
09:15Bit of a funny time.
09:17What, 27 minutes past?
09:19He's in love again.
09:21Oh, hell. I can hear thee.
09:23Who's the lucky Fraulein this time? He generally picks some right snorters.
09:27Hey!
09:28But then, don't we all?
09:30Are you going to stand there all day?
09:33What is it? A lady's excuse me?
09:34There's no excuse for you, you big shipless buttock.
09:38What have you done today, eh?
09:39Just what have you done?
09:40Apart from stroking that bus conductress.
09:43I was merely removing a coffee stain off a uniform.
09:45Well, you can remove your clever self round here
09:47and get this rubbish shifted.
09:53Is there a fly there, Sid?
09:55I can't see any fly.
09:57There must be a fly.
09:58Else why would he be behaving like that?
10:01Oh, I know what he's up to.
10:03Him and his coffee stains.
10:05She must be a sloppy drinker if she got one round there.
10:10Is there a fly there, Sid?
10:12Thank you very much.
10:13Listen, if it stains you're after...
10:15You've dropped me right in it now, haven't you?
10:17Will you kindly tell us why we never see you messing about with him, eh?
10:20Cleaning him up.
10:21You must be joking.
10:23Don't you like a challenge?
10:24Oh, hello, hello, hello.
10:27Well, I can put them down.
10:29Them's private and personal.
10:31I took them with our Barry's instant thingy.
10:35I had to.
10:36Why?
10:38Well, I asked her for a photo, but she won't give me one.
10:41Well, only because she doesn't like you.
10:43It wasn't anything personal.
10:45Not like him.
10:46She can't stand him.
10:48I know a list of untouchables.
10:49He comes somewhere between cobwebs in corners and defective drains.
10:53I'm going to wear her down with the power of my passion.
10:57He must be crackers.
10:58She's a bigger nank than my missus.
11:00I can't help it if I hear music whenever she goes by.
11:07Music?
11:08Her?
11:09Must be mood music.
11:11All bad.
11:12He's off to something.
11:13All impetuous in Wellington boots.
11:16If we were dead nosy, you see, we probably would have followed him.
11:36Hey, how about...
11:39Wow.
12:04Now you late night lovers, here's a request for Nora.
12:08No address, I'm afraid, just the signature, Lonely Brown Eyes.
12:12Well, Lonely Brown Eyes, it's about A-Y-E-S, is it not?
12:16I'm afraid we can't possibly enter into a discussion over the air of matters of this, if I may say
12:21so, degree of frankness.
12:23I'm sure you'll understand.
12:24And before you embark on any of several of your secret wishes, as outlined here,
12:30our advice to you is, get yourself a good solicitor.
12:33But thanks, I'm sorry.
12:34And here for you, Lonely Brown Eyes, and it's not difficult to see why, for the delectable,
12:39and as you call her, ride fetching, even if her stockings are crinkled, Nora, your request.
12:46Some enchanted evening, till we see a stranger, till we see a stranger.
13:07Oh, it's Nora! She's getting through to me!
13:09All right, Nora, don't worry! I'm coming! I'm coming, Nora!
13:13Don't go away! I'm coming!
13:18Don't worry! I'm coming!
13:20Don't worry! I'm coming!
13:25Are you two being yourself and all?
13:32Oh, I'm coming!
13:33All right, I'm coming!
13:35Oh, my lovely Nora!
13:38I hear thee!
13:39I hear thee!
13:47What the hell are you doing, you daft apron?
13:50Shut that door!
13:51If she wakes up before I get a start, I'm dead.
13:55Is she better already?
13:56Don't you let her stay up and listen to the radio?
13:58She does just as she likes.
14:00Listen, you don't mind if I get dressed here.
14:03I don't risk it in her house.
14:05She's got ears like...
14:06The inside of a flower?
14:08A bloody Alsatian.
14:11Had a job on sneaking me out with me clothes.
14:14You've got to help me, compo.
14:16I'm not helping thee!
14:18If thou's doing anything behind her back,
14:20I have nothing but the greatest respect for your missus.
14:24I respect her.
14:26In fact, she terrifies me.
14:28So if you're playboying around with other women,
14:30I'm not lifting her fingers to break your Nora's heart here.
14:34Other women?
14:36All I want in this world is a bit of quiet and a few pigeons.
14:40I'm going back to me, Mum.
14:42I've had enough.
14:42I'm leaving home.
14:44You're leaving home?
14:45Come here, go in.
14:46Wally, sit down.
14:47Here.
14:48Wally, sit down.
14:48Make yourself comfortable.
14:50You're leaving her?
14:51Yes.
14:51Next door?
14:52Yes.
14:53On her own?
14:53Yes!
14:54Of course I'll help you, Wally.
14:56Of course I'll help you.
14:58What do you think friends are for?
15:00If I can get to me Mum's, I'm safe.
15:03Ah!
15:04Some enchanted evening.
15:08You may see a strange girl.
15:13Ah!
15:14Look up!
15:15Oh, God!
15:15Oh, I thought for a minute she was here.
15:17You're...
15:19Give us a coat.
15:20Ah!
15:20Yeah, put your arm in, Wally.
15:22Wally, put your arm in!
15:23Do you get me?
15:24Well, hey!
15:38Oh!
15:40Oh!
15:41You're on your own again?
15:42Yes, I thought he might be with you.
15:45No, I haven't seen him.
15:48Nearly a week now.
15:50Yes.
15:51Much better, of course, without him.
15:53Oh, yes.
15:53Lots of fun.
15:54Anyway, it saves on fags.
15:56I must say, without him, the standard of debate is immeasurably higher.
16:00By God, it is, yes.
16:03I mean, look what he discussed yesterday.
16:05In depth, for three hours, the implications of a deduction in the bank rate.
16:10Is that what it was?
16:10Three hours?
16:11Yes, the time just goes, you see.
16:13Whizzes by, doesn't it?
16:15Like a snail up a drainpipe.
16:16Three hours.
16:17I thought it was a week.
16:18Well, it wouldn't drag if we had the right topic.
16:20It's all we want is the right topic.
16:22Fancy Wally Batty leaving home.
16:24And I don't mean gossip.
16:26We don't need gossip, people of our intelligence.
16:29We need livening up.
16:30I see that young lady has got a touch of the spring again.
16:33I should think so, like a holiday for her.
16:36No compost, Simonite, scattering fag-ends and crumbs round her reference section.
16:40Is that all it takes?
16:42I wonder if he realises how much happiness he spreads just by keeping out of the road.
17:19I understand they discovered oil in Derbyshire.
17:23Fancy.
17:24Just small amounts.
17:26Well, it's full of holes anyway.
17:29What is it?
17:30Derbyshire.
17:30Well, isn't everything?
17:31Yes, I suppose it is, really.
17:33I mean, take the unions.
17:34Again?
17:35My feelings, exactly.
17:37We hear too much about them.
17:39Trade union movement, indeed.
17:41It's a movement, all right.
17:42And for the last three years, we've heard nothing but diarrhea.
17:46Oh.
17:46What's wrong?
17:47Well, it's just not my kind of topic, Cyril.
17:51Well, then tell me what is.
17:53All right.
17:57Something quieter.
17:59Such as what?
18:01Go on, tell me, and we'll begin.
18:03All right.
18:04Subject.
18:04The intervention of the gods in human affairs.
18:10Called incarnation.
18:12Are you with me?
18:13Now, suppose it's happening all the time, but we just don't recognise it.
18:18Now, here's God trying to get through to us, and we're not listening.
18:23Maybe he comes as all sorts.
18:25I mean, why always as a person?
18:30He's got all these other species to look after and all.
18:34I mean, perhaps sometimes he comes as a bird, or a little furry creature, or even as a green
18:42fly, and all we're doing is going round with the insecticide.
18:49What kind of a topic is that?
18:51Well, there you are, you see.
18:52We're too far apart.
18:54We need somebody between us, however scruffy he is.
18:57Let's face it, he is.
18:59Yes, yes.
19:01You see, he gives us a sort of meeting ground in the middle.
19:04I wonder what he's up to, rimey little Herbert.
19:07It's really none of our business, which I always think makes it that much more interesting.
19:34I don't want to do much.
19:43Somebody's been going round this area and doing what to tatty old men.
19:48I don't believe it.
19:49How did they get him out of them old trousers without an anaesthetic?
19:53Don't go on with that right there.
19:55It's darn special.
19:57Not even my best suit.
19:58Do you mean there's more than one?
20:00They belong to my husband.
20:01He left at the house.
20:04They say, isn't that a bad bit?
20:07The pockets were full of pitching coal, but other than that, it weren't in bad league.
20:10She gave them to me.
20:12I think she's gone off in.
20:14Well, listen, smoothie, aren't you going to ask us in?
20:19Well, only for a minute, then.
20:21I've got an appointment, I says.
20:24Come on.
20:25That's what I like.
20:26A warm welcome.
20:28We haven't gone for your telly, you know.
20:31I'd give her hand with the heavy work, can't she?
20:33She ought to be with the house.
20:35Heavy work?
20:35You, the phantom employment avoidant of the Social Security.
20:40They seek him here, they seek him there.
20:42Me and Nora have got to stick together.
20:44We're the only two left on this row.
20:46Which reminds me, I have an appointment in a minute.
20:50I've expected for morning cocoa.
20:52Very space-age.
20:54Yeah, well, Wally, she gave it to him for his birthday.
20:56She said, I must as well wear it.
20:58Getting you broken into a schedule, is she?
21:00Don't you worry about me.
21:02Something very sinister about all this.
21:05In becoming hygienic overnight.
21:07Yeah, well, I'm sorry, lads.
21:08You've called at a very awkward time.
21:09I've got to go.
21:10And she's very particular about time.
21:13He's Nora.
21:14So I'm enchanted evening.
21:17You'll meet the Lone Ranger.
21:39I'll see you soon, lads.
21:43You'll meet the Lone Ranger.
21:47You'll meet the Lone Ranger.
21:48I'll see you soon, lads.
22:15and he's wearing a collar and tie get away all right not the one who usually wears to keep up
22:21the tops of his trousers well how's he keeping them up there well he's wearing wally's suits
22:25well the cheeky monkey i've heard he's stepping into another bloke's shoes but and he's wearing
22:30them and all oh stone me if that into liberty well liberty's about the last thing it is she's
22:35nearly got him on a lead already i can't understand him he's going to be indistinguishable from any
22:41other trained domestic performer hey do you mind we've still got our pride you know it's only the
22:47nerve that's gone sorry i know i've not always been complimentary to him especially when down
22:53wind of his feet but i had no wish to see him going to a fate worse than death with
22:59a smile on his stupid
23:00face i wonder if he is in all that deep or whether he's up to something i know he was
23:05untidy but you've
23:06got to admit that with proper training he could be a real devious little twat there was something about
23:12that wink he gave us is our bloodshot no it was something else i think we ought to have a
23:18word with
23:18wally batty husband and escapee he may have the key to this lot it might help if we knew why
23:26he left
23:26home yeah you've only got to tell one look at nora to know why he left home oh yes motionless
23:33again what do you
23:34think you are the spirit of passive resistance oh go on get back through i'm coming coming
23:38coming you've been coming all day if you stick there much longer they'll be posting flaming bills on you
23:45hey watch this space how can i it's always stuck to a flaming chair
23:54hey if you do see wally batty ask him if he has got any tips on how he escaped
23:58oh you can't
24:02they say ivy'll grow on anything she's never grown on me she loves him really so he says
24:11it used to be once a fortnight i don't know how he's doing these days
24:33and all that now come on it must be my own no get them down you wally what more can
24:39a man ask for
24:40eh a few drinks and two good listeners good elf cheers how's your poultry oh pigeons terribly sorry i'm sure
24:52some enchanted evening you may see a stranger you may see a strange a stranger across
25:10oh
25:24you are going back to your wife then oh aye in another day or so
25:30i just had to have a good rest didn't compo tell you he knows you're going back
25:37oh aye i told him tonight i left
25:50some enchanted evening
25:54oh that's it you may see a stranger
26:01hey look now go on clear off i'm expecting company
26:05he's expecting company fancy yes go on you'll have to clear off he's private i bet it is
26:10saucy little devil look i've got a chinese mail in that oven and cost me half a quid
26:15big spender you've done it now it's marriage she's after
26:19i told you don't you worry about me he thinks he's safe from matrimony because wally is coming back
26:26he's got no scruple whatsoever and he's also run out of luck because we have just left wally batty at
26:33the airport divorce papers in the post never coming back again gone forever decided to stay and enjoy
26:39his freedom he's already got to see his pigeons via new zealand
26:47hasn't he gone a funny color he doesn't look well does he
26:55oh no no no no no you'll have to get me out of it
27:32oh
27:34don't worry to dora dora you are a resistant oh get him off don't you come near me
27:40my god he's had to relax come on love i'll reserve him that bed you'll call you
27:45come on oh no oh god oh dear now it's all lined up and all well how far do you
27:57think you're going
27:57to get on a handful of bean shoots well i've got some wine we know and that's not too clever
28:03either
28:03do you think you've let it breathe breathe i think it's been inhaling near his ferrets
28:11i made it myself
28:18i took me wellies off
28:25did you hear that cyril i should think they heard that in odyssey field yeah listen then just do what
28:31you want to throw it out and drop my chinese meal and ruin my sex life
28:36i don't want to throw it out and drop it out and drop it out and drop it out and
28:54drop it out
29:03so
29:04prunella scales will be making a guest appearance in dl and pasco tonight that's at nine here on uk tv
29:09drama
29:10you rang my lord is next
29:17you
29:40you