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TVTranscript
00:03Hello? Hey! Hey! Hello? Buy me! Hello? Buy me a markdown! Cheapskate.
00:10Okay, Scooter, I came with you to the pet store. Now why are we here?
00:15Feed the birdie! Feed the birdie! Feed the birdie! Feed the birdie!
00:19Aw, aren't you the cutest thing?
00:23Oh, bada-bing.
00:25Yeah, see? Girls love animals because they're cuddly and cute.
00:28You meet a girl in here? She's in cute mode. All soft and mushy and vulnerable.
00:34And we move in for the kill. I'm very impressed. This is the cutting edge of cruising technology.
00:41I'd just like to take you home.
00:43Yo, sweetheart. If you're looking for love and companionship, why not take me home?
00:49I'm low-maintenance, affectionate, and I do tricks.
00:53Can you play dead?
00:54Ouch! That must have hurt.
00:56Yeah, I'm devastated.
00:59Ah, yo, sweetheart. If you're looking for love...
01:03Ugh.
01:04Listen, I'm really sorry about my friend. I don't think girls should be subjected to that kind of obvious pick
01:09-up line.
01:09But that's a pick-up line, too. Isn't it?
01:12Well, no, absolutely not. I mean, not necessarily. I... Oh, okay, yes. Is it working?
01:19No. Oh.
01:21But you're cute, so I'm willing to cut you a certain amount of slack.
01:26Oh.
01:26Hmm?
01:27Feed me! Feed me! Feed me! Feed me! Feed me! Feed me! Feed me!
01:30Uh, listen, would you like to go someplace else? Maybe without all the horrible squawking animals?
01:33Hmm? Okay.
01:35Great.
01:35Feed me! Feed me! Feed me! Feed me! Feed me! Feed me! Feed me! Feed me! Feed me! Feed me!
01:49Hmm, well... Is she your girlfriend?
01:51Eat your chips.
01:53Robbie never had a girlfriend before.
01:56I'm really sorry. I didn't know my mom was gonna stick me with the kid.
01:59Gonna marry her?
02:01No.
02:02Gonna kiss her?
02:07Oh, you know, I think it's really very sweet that you're willing to take care of your little brother.
02:13Oh, well, I'm one male that's not afraid to show his softer, nurturing side.
02:17Hmm.
02:18Go on! Kiss her! Kiss her! A big, wet one!
02:22Would you just shut up?
02:24You shut up!
02:25No, you shut up!
02:25No, no, you don't tell me when to shut up!
02:26You shut up! I'm paying you! You don't tell me when to shut up!
02:29No, you don't tell me when to shut up!
02:30Hmm, is this some of the nurturing you were talking about?
02:34Uh...
02:35Fran, I had a terrible day at work and you're gonna hear all about it!
02:39Oh?
02:40You're not Fran.
02:41Nope.
02:41Who are you?
02:42Hi, Earl. Did you meet Robbie's friend, Wendy?
02:44Robbie's girlfriend!
02:46Oh!
02:46Kiss, kiss!
02:47Hi, I'm Wendy Richfield.
02:51Richfield?
02:51Yeah.
02:52Well, now, isn't that an amusing coincidence?
02:55The guy I work for, who makes my life an unending cycle of humiliation and mind-numbing agony, is also
03:00named Richfield.
03:02Where does your dad work?
03:03At We Say So.
03:04Oh.
03:05Well, son of a gun!
03:06My hideous and evil boss also works at We Say So.
03:10Oh.
03:10Earl, what if Wendy's father is Mr. Richfield?
03:13Oh, please, Fran!
03:15You seriously suggest that this sweet and gentle flower could be the daughter of that horrible and unfeeling monster I
03:21work for?
03:22Well, I do have a picture of him.
03:24No, no, no.
03:25It's unthinkable.
03:26I mean, could you imagine what a dinosaur as ruthless and psychotic as Mr. Richfield would do to me if
03:32he found out my son was dating his daughter?
03:34Oh, no.
03:35Must be someone else.
03:37Hmm.
03:37Yeah.
03:38Hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm.
03:42Sinclair!
03:43Ah!
03:45Ah!
04:16Honey!
04:18I'm home!
04:44Sinclair! In here! Now!
04:48Here I am, my captain!
04:50What's your son doing dating my daughter?
04:52Oh, sir, they barely know each other. They're practically strangers.
04:57I'm not even sure he's my son.
04:58They're sitting together in math class right now!
05:01How do you know that?
05:02You must have some kind of parental radar.
05:06That's right!
05:08The latest in overprotective parenting technology!
05:11Wow.
05:14That little blip is the apple of my eye!
05:17Yes, I can certainly see the family resemblance.
05:20Oh, some may say I'm an overzealous control freak with paranoid delusions.
05:25No.
05:26But I like to think of myself as a loving papa.
05:29And an affectionate employer, if I may be so obsequious.
05:33Don't try to curry favor with me!
05:35What exactly is going on between your blip and my blip?
05:38Well, I may as well admit now, sir, what you will beat out of me eventually.
05:44They're sweet on each other.
05:46What?!
05:47Will you be eating me whole, sir?
05:49Or would you prefer to have me boned first?
05:51Wait.
05:52I'm starting to like the idea.
05:55Am I in your stomach yet?
05:56See, Wendy's last four boyfriends left her in the lurch.
06:00Took off.
06:01Broke her little heart.
06:03I don't want that to happen again.
06:06But that wouldn't happen with your boy.
06:09Would it, Sinclair?
06:12Oh, no, sir!
06:13My son would never do that!
06:15Your daughter's such a precious flower.
06:18Much like you, sir.
06:20The delicate features.
06:21The laughing eyes.
06:23The high-
06:23Shut up!
06:25All right, then.
06:27Your son could date my daughter.
06:29As long as you and I have an understanding.
06:32Understanding?
06:34You?
06:35Me?
06:36My son!
06:37Hold on!
06:38She's on the move.
06:40Left her locker.
06:41Heading down the hall.
06:44An unscheduled stop at the little girl's room.
06:47Cover your eyes!
06:49Whoa!
06:53Sir?
06:54What?
06:56How will we know when she's done?
07:01Honey!
07:02What's the best possible thing that could ever happen?
07:04World peace?
07:06Better.
07:07Mr. Richfield wants our son to date his daughter.
07:11Okay.
07:12Don't you get it, Fran?
07:14If Wendy and Robbie work out,
07:16our two families could someday be united in marriage.
07:18Mr. Richfield and I could be family.
07:22And he seldom kills family.
07:24He's very sentimental that way.
07:26Love you, Robbie.
07:27Love you, Wendy.
07:28Kissy, kissy, kissy!
07:30Yes!
07:31That's the right attitude.
07:32I want everybody in this family to do their utmost
07:35to bring these two deserving youngsters together.
07:37Then I guess you don't want to hear the ugly Wendy rumors
07:40I heard at school.
07:41You're right.
07:42We don't.
07:43I want only happy faces and pleasant thoughts
07:45right up to the wedding day.
07:47Dad.
07:47No.
07:49I'm going to look at China patterns.
07:50Da-da-da-da.
07:52Da-da-da-da-da.
07:55Charlene?
07:56Yeah?
07:56I don't know Wendy very well,
07:57but she seems like a nice girl,
07:59so I don't want you spreading idle rumors about her.
08:02Okay, Mom, but around school,
08:04she has a bad reputation.
08:07You mean she's...
08:09fast?
08:11I hear it's a lot worse than that.
08:15Hmm?
08:20Not that I'm complaining or anything,
08:22but your little shortcut home from school
08:24is taking us three times longer than usual.
08:26Oh, you caught me.
08:29Well, maybe I'd pick this little path
08:31because it's miles from anywhere.
08:33Yeah.
08:34And I can have you all to myself.
08:37Oh.
08:38Yo, Sinclair.
08:40Or not.
08:41What a coincidence,
08:42running into you kids so far off the beaten path.
08:46Robbie, how about if I meet you later at your house?
08:49Then maybe we could spend a little time
08:51on our homework.
08:53Oh, yes.
08:55Mwah!
08:56Mwah!
08:57Mwah!
08:58Just the two of us.
09:00Bye.
09:03Goodbye.
09:04See ya.
09:05A kiss on my cheek, Spike!
09:07Whoa!
09:08What?
09:08On my cheek!
09:09If you hadn't shown up uninvited,
09:11it could have been my mouth.
09:12It could have been my lips.
09:13It could have been your whole face, Sinclair.
09:16I just saved your life.
09:17I've been out asking around about Wendy.
09:20I gotta tell ya.
09:22She's bad news.
09:24I'm not interested in your stupid locker room stories.
09:28Okay.
09:30Last boyfriend transferred to a different school.
09:33Never registered.
09:34Never showed up.
09:35Boyfriend number two.
09:37Allegedly went off to join the army.
09:39No record of his enlistment.
09:41Number three.
09:43Josh Meltzer.
09:44Whereabouts?
09:45Who knows?
09:46No.
09:48Need I go on?
09:49What are you implying?
09:50I think we both know.
09:51There's a girl like that at every school.
09:54A little more aggressive.
09:55A little hungrier than the other girls.
09:57She goes through boys one right after another.
10:00She chews them up?
10:01And spits them out?
10:02No.
10:03She digests them.
10:05Four boyfriends disappear.
10:07Never to be seen again.
10:09Face it, Scooter.
10:11Face it, Scooter.
10:12Your girlfriend's an eater.
10:22Face it, Scooter.
10:23It all adds up.
10:24Whose idea was it to go into the swamp by yourselves?
10:27It was her idea, but she is not an eater.
10:30And whose idea was it to meet here alone?
10:33She's not an eater.
10:35Wrong.
10:36Somewhere in her house there is a bib with your picture on it.
10:40Oh, you're just jealous because she picked me instead of you.
10:42Oh, you don't want my help?
10:44Fine.
10:44At least save your mother a messy clean-up.
10:47Tell your girlfriend to eat over the sink.
10:50Huh?
10:51Oh, hello, soon-to-be eldest child of the Sinclair family.
11:01What's that all about?
11:02You're not gonna believe this.
11:04Spike said he heard some idiotic rumor that Wendy eats all her boyfriends.
11:08Everybody knows that.
11:09What do you mean, everybody?
11:11Everybody.
11:12Everybody?
11:12They're all surprised you lasted this long.
11:14She must be dieting.
11:15Why didn't you say something?
11:17I was going to.
11:18Here.
11:20Do nails.
11:21Pick up eyeshadow.
11:22Tell Robbie his life is in danger.
11:24See, it was next on my list.
11:25Shh.
11:26Ooh.
11:27Huh?
11:27Who's that?
11:28It's me, Wendy.
11:30Oh, my gosh.
11:30What's she doing here?
11:32Well, maybe you invited her over?
11:35Well, of course.
11:36She's coming over to study.
11:38We arranged it.
11:38It makes perfect sense.
11:39You need to relax a little.
11:41What?
11:42Yeah.
11:42Hmm.
11:44Hi, Wendy.
11:45Hi, Robbie.
11:46Ready to study?
11:48Yeah, sure.
11:49Come on in.
11:50Where are your books?
11:52Oops.
11:52Guess I forgot them.
11:54No books, huh?
11:55Uh-uh-uh.
11:56I guess you just came over for a bite to eat.
12:00Hmm.
12:00Um, listen.
12:02Not that I don't adore chatting with your family, but, um...
12:05Yeah?
12:05Weren't you and I hoping to spend a little time alone?
12:09Yeah.
12:09We did say that.
12:11Uh...
12:12Charlene, uh...
12:12Yeah?
12:13Wendy and I want to be alone.
12:15Okay.
12:15Don't you have someplace else to go that's not too far away?
12:19Uh, okay, Rob.
12:21Hope I see you later.
12:23Heh.
12:24Heh.
12:25Heh.
12:27Heh.
12:31Heh.
12:32Heh.
12:32Heh.
12:32Heh.
12:33Heh.
12:33Uh, say, you know, just the other day I was thinking about Josh Meltzer.
12:37Oh.
12:37Uh, you used to date him, didn't you?
12:39Oh.
12:39Uh, whatever happened, old Josh?
12:42Uh, I'd rather not talk about it.
12:44Hmm.
12:45I was just wondering.
12:46Seems like he disappeared kinda suddenly.
12:48Look, it got very messy and painful toward the end.
12:51I know.
12:51I was upset for a long time.
12:54I gained a lot of weight because of Josh.
12:56Oh, really?
12:58But he's gone now.
13:00And you're here.
13:02Yeah.
13:03Well, uh, gosh, it's getting late, uh...
13:05I really oughta be gettin' home.
13:08Robbie?
13:10Oh, uh, and here I am.
13:13So, uh, how about a snack?
13:14Mmm.
13:15You look good enough to eat.
13:17Mmm.
13:17Hey, ow!
13:18Hey, ow!
13:19That's my...
13:20Whoa!
13:21Jeez, ow!
13:22Ow!
13:22Hey!
13:24Clumsy Daddy intrudes on an intimate moment between his beloved son and even more beloved
13:29boss's daughter.
13:30No, no, Dad, we weren't, uh...
13:32No, of course you weren't.
13:33You were studying.
13:36Well, I'll leave you two scholars to your books and there'll be no more interruptions.
13:43No, Dad, Dad, stick around.
13:45There's nothing a guy on a date likes better than having his dad there with him.
13:48What?
13:49Really?
13:50Yeah.
13:51I thought I was the only one who liked that.
13:53Hey, my dad always came along when I dated your mom.
13:56Wow, stories from your youth.
13:58I never tire of hearing those.
13:59Well, here we go then.
14:01I'll never forget my senior prom.
14:03Ooh.
14:04Dad, my day disappeared somewhere.
14:06And I was helping the chaperone for his doctorate first.
14:12Wendy called again.
14:14Okay.
14:15Thanks.
14:15She's called three times.
14:17When are you gonna call her back?
14:19Sometime.
14:20Robbie.
14:23Yesterday you liked this girl.
14:25Now, because of what others are saying, you're ready to break up with her.
14:30Pretty much.
14:31Yeah.
14:38Another wonderful day at work.
14:40Thanks to you, son.
14:43Your affection for Wendy has spread its golden glow everywhere.
14:47Turning my life into a glorious wonderland of love.
14:51I love Mr. Richfield.
14:53He loves me.
14:54I love you.
14:56Love, love, love, love, love.
14:57Robbie isn't talking to Wendy anymore.
15:00Get out of my house!
15:02No!
15:02But it's just not working out, Dad.
15:04Yes, so?
15:05You...
15:06You could still get married.
15:07Ugh.
15:08Oh, come on.
15:10She's...
15:10She's pretty.
15:12She's smart.
15:13She comes from a good family.
15:14She significantly improved the quality of my life at work.
15:17What could you possibly find wrong with her?
15:19She's gonna eat me, Dad.
15:25Well, no relationship's perfect, son.
15:29Why, your own mother forgets to put the cap back on the toothpaste?
15:32Dad...
15:32You don't get it.
15:33Robbie, you have feelings for this girl, but you're breaking up with her just because of a lot of rumors.
15:39Yeah.
15:39Does that make sense?
15:40When I first met your father, a lot of my friends told me he had no ambition, he was lazy,
15:46and he would stay a tree pusher all his life.
15:49Now, were they right?
15:53Well, that may not be the best example.
15:55Ugh.
15:55It's over between Wendy and me.
15:57Why didn't I listen to them?
15:59Fine, son.
16:00Go ahead.
16:01Ruin my life.
16:03But if you decide to end this important relationship, you should realize that somebody's heart may be broken, and you
16:09have to do the decent thing and handle it face to face.
16:12You expect me to go and talk to Wendy?
16:15Forget Wendy!
16:16Get your butt over there and apologize to Mr. Richfield.
16:19And take him some flowers.
16:20Earl, he needs to talk to Wendy.
16:22A young girl's feelings are at stake here.
16:25A big, scary boss's feelings are at stake here.
16:28You go talk to Mr. Richfield right now, apologize to him profusely, and tell him I tried to talk you
16:34out of it.
16:35All right.
16:43Excuse me, Mr. Richfield?
16:44Who is it?
16:45Uh, Robbie Sinclair, sir.
16:48Ah, the young Sinclair.
16:51Uh, I hope I'm not intruding.
16:52Oh, no, no, no.
16:53I've been looking forward to the opportunity to spend a little time with you.
16:58Alone.
17:01Oh.
17:02Thanks, Mom.
17:03Thanks, dear.
17:04Oh, good.
17:05Mine's still moving.
17:08Wendy!
17:09Huh?
17:11Where's Robbie?
17:12Why?
17:13Did you get the munchies?
17:14He hasn't returned any of my calls.
17:15I don't know why.
17:17And I really have to talk to him.
17:19Uh, young Miss Richfield, uh, as much as I admire you, and your father, I'm going to have to ask
17:26you to refrain from eating any of my children.
17:28Yeah.
17:28Please.
17:29What are you talking about?
17:31You have a bad reputation!
17:33Me?
17:33I'm tired of all this ugly gossip.
17:36Wendy.
17:37Yes?
17:37You should know that your fellow students have been circulating a rumor that you have an eating disorder.
17:44What?
17:44You ate your last four boyfriends, and now you're going to eat Robbie.
17:47That's not true!
17:49I never ate anybody.
17:51I believe you, dear.
17:53But you have to admit, four boyfriends all disappear, never to be seen again.
17:57I know.
17:57It's so strange, but it's not me.
18:00It's like there's something out there devouring my boyfriends.
18:04Someone's trying to stop me from having any kind of relationship.
18:07Trying to keep me from growing up.
18:09I mean, what kind of horrible monster would...
18:14Daddy!
18:16Daddy?
18:17Oh!
18:19Daddy!
18:20Uh-oh!
18:24There's something I've got to tell you, and you may not like hearing it.
18:27Uh-huh, fine.
18:28What did you have for dinner tonight?
18:30Fish or red meat?
18:31Uh, red meat.
18:33Ah, then the Pinot Noir.
18:35Sir, your daughter's a really great girl, but I'm afraid it's just not working out between us.
18:40Oh.
18:42That's a shame.
18:44I'm so sorry to hear that.
18:47You see, she's got a big problem.
18:50She's an eater.
18:54She is, is she?
18:56That's very interesting.
18:57No, sir, you have to believe me.
18:59She's eaten her last four boyfriends.
19:01You ought to be ashamed of yourself, Sinclair, listening to a lot of idle rumors.
19:05I know for a fact she didn't eat those boys.
19:09Uh-huh, you do?
19:10Oh, I'm so relieved.
19:12Ha-ha.
19:13Ha-ha.
19:14Huh?
19:14Uh-uh.
19:16Uh-uh.
19:17Uh-uh.
19:18Mr. Richfield, what makes you feel so certain your daughter didn't eat those boys?
19:22Just call it a gut feeling, Sinclair.
19:25Ha-ha-ha-ha.
19:26But, but, but why?
19:28Why would you eat all of your daughter's boyfriends?
19:30Just call me an overprotective daddy.
19:33Here, put this apple in your mouth.
19:35But wait, I just told you he broke up.
19:37I'm not a boyfriend anymore, so you don't have to eat me.
19:39I'm afraid it's not that simple.
19:42My daughter's very sensitive.
19:45And after a breakup like this, seeing you at school every day, it'd crush her little heart.
19:51Trust me, it's better if I eat you.
19:55Mr. Richfield, release my son immediately.
19:58Get lost, Sinclair!
19:59Okay, sir.
20:02Daddy?
20:04Huh?
20:04Open this door immediately.
20:08Oh, kitten, um, Daddy's a little busy right now.
20:13Open this door right now or I'll never speak to you again.
20:15Don't say that, snooky-poo.
20:17Daddy'll do whatever you want.
20:22Robbie, are you okay?
20:24No.
20:24Oh, son, I'm so glad we were able to save you from this awful monster.
20:28Yeah.
20:29You're not wonderful, boss.
20:30Ugh.
20:32Shame on you, Daddy.
20:33You've been eating my boyfriends, haven't you?
20:35Well, well, I was afraid they might try to take you away from me.
20:40But why'd you have to eat them?
20:41Well, I meant to just talk to the first one, but I got carried away and ate them.
20:47And after that, it was like eating peanuts.
20:50Oh, well, you promised never to do it again.
20:56All right.
20:58But get him out of here before I change my mind.
21:01Come on, Robbie.
21:02Thanks.
21:03See you, Dad.
21:04Run.
21:05Well, gosh, sir.
21:07Now that the two lovebirds are back together, maybe we can rekindle the beautiful friendship that's grown between us these
21:14last few days.
21:16I just lost my dinner, Sinclair.
21:18Don't make me lose my lunch!
21:23I'm sorry I listened to what all those guys said about you.
21:26Yeah.
21:26I should have trusted my own feelings.
21:28Should have listened to my own heart.
21:29Yeah.
21:31And what's it saying?
21:34That I like you.
21:35That I like you.
21:35Quite a bit.
21:36Oh, Robbie.
21:38Um, I like you quite a bit, too.
21:43Yo!
21:44Sinclair!
21:45Boy, have I got news for you.
21:47Oh, turns out I was wrong.
21:49First time for everything, huh?
21:51Uh, Windy is not an eater after all.
21:54It seems it was her old dad all along.
21:57Uh, everybody's okay.
21:59No harm done.
22:00So, I think the best thing right now would be a kiss.
22:05Mm-mm.
22:06You want to spread some stories?
22:08Tell them about this.
22:12Ugh.
22:13Mm-mm.
22:14Mm-mm.
22:15Mm-mm.
22:15Might have been.
22:45A bit like ...
22:51Just move around!
22:55You're out.
22:57Oh, key, love.
23:03Yeah!com
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