- 17 hours ago
Rivals Season 1 Episode 1 Engsub
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Short filmTranscript
00:12To be continued...
00:36This is your captain speaking. Keep your eyes on the board. We're about to go supersonic.
01:17Did we break the sound barrier? Sorry, Mr. Camper Black. I didn't know it was you in there.
01:30To love and see the signs. But you can't read. Running at a different speed. Your heart beats. A double
01:42time. Another kiss.
01:47Enjoying your flight, Rupert? Tony Battingham. Do you know B.T. Johnson from The Scorpion?
01:54Oh, no. But I hear great things. Did the Prime Minister give you permission to fuck a journalist in the
02:00on-board toilet?
02:01Lou, Tony, don't be plebeian. B.T.'s ghosting my memoirs. No way to believe in laying one's ghost.
02:07Oh, B.T., what's your angle? Champion show jumper put out to pasture. Now a powerless backbench politician casting round
02:15for his next hobby.
02:16Never quite achieving the success he once had.
02:20What are you doing in New York? Whoring yourself round advertisers? You know, if you don't start spending some of
02:25that fortune you're coining on making decent television, you're going to lose your business.
02:29Very much in hand. Just recruited a hot shit young producer.
02:33Who?
02:33Mm. Cameron Cook.
02:35Never heard of him.
02:38You are desperate to work for Cronium. Bit my hand off in vain.
02:43I hope it didn't bleed on your nice suit.
02:47Maybe when we head back, too.
03:13Oh, my God.
03:37Oh, my God.
03:49Drug use. Pornography. Easier divorce. Rampant. Homosexuality.
03:53Recent studies have shown that HIV isn't exclusively a homosexual disease, Deputy Prime Minister.
03:59Oh, but loveless rutting.
04:01The promiscuous encounters that characterize a Saturday night in Soho,
04:05those are the preconditions for this virus, which threatens...
04:08The precondition, Deputy Prime Minister, is the Victorian conservatism of the Tory government,
04:13which is narrow-minded, hypocritical, and quite frankly, cruel.
04:16And cut there. Thank you. Ready to go again.
04:19He can say gay sex is loveless rutting, but I can't make a small comment about the government.
04:23BBC editorial policy, Declan. Sorry, Deputy Prime Minister.
04:27We're going again.
04:28Cue Declan.
04:32Mr. Stratton, yourself and Mrs. Stratton have been married, what, 15 years?
04:3715 in April.
04:38Yeah, three children, a wife, a mistress, and an all-consuming job.
04:42It must be difficult to juggle everything.
04:46What?
04:47Although your wife, Winifred, has been staying at her family's Pimbleco apartment,
04:51which must have made it easier for you to spend time with your, uh...
04:5529-year-old secretary, Miss Sarah Price,
04:58who proudly told our researchers that you have the girth and stamina
05:02to compete with any championship racehorse.
05:04Is that a fair comment to make, sir?
05:05I, uh, well, the...
05:07CUT! CUT!
05:09I would look to your own glass house, Deputy Prime Minister,
05:11before you start throwing rocks at others.
05:13Look, Declan, if we could just do another take without the slant...
05:15the fuck off, Alistair!
05:17Fuck!
05:18Frick!
05:21Fuck!
05:25Frank, come on, let's close this in the chair.
05:48I don't know whose bloomers are more of a twist tonight, aren't they, to the Prime Ministers?
05:52We both know that the BBC won't show tonight's episode.
05:55I've said it before, Lord Bandingham, I'm happy here.
05:58And I'm not interested in commercial television.
06:05Director General calling, save in a naughty boy.
06:20I'm offering you freedom.
06:22I saw your interview with Reagan, I bet they hacked out some corkers.
06:27We'd put you out live.
06:31Live?
06:32Complete editorial control.
06:35The skew of the bastards on air, it's halfway around the world before anyone's got a chance to complain.
06:40The satellite's coming, we're going global.
06:44It's exciting.
06:47You're stuck here with a load of librarians.
06:51When you could be an astronaut.
06:58I'd have to persuade Maud.
07:02Massive house from the country, she'd love it.
07:04It's a Wicklow man like you, doing it in Fulham.
07:07Dodging litter and dog shit.
07:08Come to the Coswolds.
07:11Even I have to win sometimes, how fucking pretty the place is.
07:20A little signing bonus.
07:22Declan, come on.
07:24You're being paid peanuts to get bloodless interviews with one hand tied behind your back.
07:29It's the golden age of television.
07:33You're missing the game.
07:57You're missing the game.
08:01But what you've got is all so sweet
08:04You've got to make it hot
08:09Like a boy I need to repeat
08:13Give me all your loving
08:15All your hugs and kisses, dear
08:21Give me all your loving
08:23Don't let up until we leave
08:29You've got to whip it up
08:33And hit me like a ton of lead
08:37If I blow my tongue
08:40Daddy's hand
08:41Will you let it fall in your head?
08:46Give me all your loving
08:47All your hugs and kisses, dear
08:53Give me all your loving
08:55Don't let up until we leave
09:05Hello, darling
09:06How was your day?
09:07Extremely successful
09:09Sorry I landed on your game
09:11Yes, we do have other orders
09:16Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, yeah
09:46Here we are, girls
09:47The priory
09:50Caitlin, we're here
09:51What?
09:52We're here, we're here, look
09:53We're here
09:58Oh my god
10:22Exciting things are going to happen to us in a place like this
10:25Amazing
10:26Amazing
10:27Rachel, go
10:28That's the best room
10:29I don't really know
10:30The prettiest prison I ever saw
10:36What?
10:49Oh my god
10:50Get out of this house
10:52Get out of this house
10:53Get out of this house
10:54Get out of this house
10:59Man, man, I am a man
11:02I know no job
11:04You can tell me that I'm fine
11:08Jehovah's Witness
11:08Oh, fuck, she's seen us
11:12Oh, you'll have to go down
11:13What? Why me?
11:14I'm on the lookout
11:15What?
11:15For him?
11:16Oh, God
11:16Soviet officials have announced that 79 bodies have been recovered
11:23and nearly 320 people are missing
11:26after a Soviet worship, thanks, please
11:29Door!
11:31Hello
11:31I just wanted to welcome you to all this
11:34No, no, thank you
11:37We're not on the best of terms with Jehovah in this house
11:40Daddy, just shut the door
11:41Oh, it's not mine
11:42I found it on a lawn
11:44New English
11:44Is it the New English Bible?
11:47Yes
11:47Daddy says it's a literary abomination
11:49He must have thrown it out the window
11:51I'm Lizzie
11:52I live down the valley
11:53I bought you a bottle and some eggs
11:56We'll open this now
11:57Okay
11:59Come on in
12:01We haven't found the wine glasses yet
12:04Tell us the second post here
12:06Oh, there isn't a second post
12:08Taggy lost her virginity this summer
12:10to one of her son Patrick's university friends
12:12He's in the south of France right now
12:14and not writing many postcards
12:16Mummy
12:16Oh, it must be so lonely for Rupert now
12:18he's not show jumping
12:19And the only thing that persuaded Caitlin
12:21to leave all her friends in London
12:22was the thought of living opposite Rupert Campbell Black
12:25I want him to ravish me
12:27He's a middle-aged MP, Caitlin
12:29Well, I'm so cross
12:30I'm off to boarding school
12:31and won't get the first crack at him
12:32He's bountiful for Taggy
12:33or even Mummy
12:34How well do you know him?
12:36Oh, I'm not sure anyone really knows Rupert
12:38But we're friends
12:40So not carnally, then?
12:42I'm one of the few women around here
12:43who hasn't been ravished by Rupert
12:45Is your husband fiercely protective?
12:49Oh, that's my novel
12:52I wrote it
12:53Have you read it?
12:55Oh, no, Taggy doesn't read
12:56She's dyslexic
12:57For a long time we thought she was retarded
12:59Oh, he took what he wanted
13:01I loved this
13:03Talk about getting ravished
13:05Isn't there a very naughty bit with some duck leaves?
13:09Oh
13:13Yeah, the photo's quite old
13:15Have you got another one coming out?
13:16Well, what with the children and my husband
13:18I don't find much time to write nowadays
13:20Hi, I need a shirt
13:22And some fucking socks
13:25Oh
13:25Daddy, that's Lizzie
13:27I live just down the valley
13:28She writes dirty books
13:29Nice to meet you, Caitlin
13:30You're wearing my socks
13:31Well, they're warmer than tight
13:32Sorry, still unpacking
13:33Thanks, love
13:34How easy is it to find help, aren't you?
13:36We are not forking out for a cleaner
13:39Well, stealing a woman's help around here
13:41is worse than stealing her husband
13:42What if you stole both?
13:47That's Grant, Tag
13:48Right, I am going to buy
13:5030 pairs of socks
13:51in such a disgusting colour
13:53that none of you will ever pinch them again
13:55Nice to meet you, Lizzie
13:56Good luck, Daddy
13:57Give him help
13:57All right, let's get smashed
14:01Welcome to Rocha
14:13A man walks down the street
14:14He says
14:15Why am I soft in the middle now?
14:17Why am I soft in the middle?
14:18The rest of my life is so hard
14:20I need a photo opportunity
14:22I want a shot of redemption
14:24Don't want to end up a cartoon
14:26in a cartoon graveyard
14:27Bone-dibber, bone-dibber
14:29Get these mutts away from me, you know
14:31I don't find this stuff on music
14:33anymore
14:35If you be my bodyguard
14:37I can be your long, long crowd
14:42I can call you Betty
14:44Betty, when you call me
14:46You can call me out
14:50A man walks down the street
14:52He says
14:52Why am I short of attention?
14:54Got a short little span of attention
14:56And won't my nights are so long
14:58Where's my wife and family?
15:00What if I die here?
15:01Who'll be my role model?
15:03Now that my role model is gone
15:05Gone
15:06You duck back down the alley
15:08With some roly-poly
15:10Little bat-faced girl
15:11All along, along
15:14There were incidents and accidents
15:16There were hints and allegations
15:20If you'd be my bodyguard
15:25Declan, hi
15:26Yeah
15:27There he is!
15:28I'll see you!
15:29Okay
15:30What the fuck?
15:34Just a man of the people
15:36Don't be jealous, James
15:37At least he won't steal your sunbed
15:39He's tall, isn't he?
15:40Standing next to a very short car
15:42I saw him in Pensken
15:43I think he looks a lot older in the flesh
15:45Thank you, dear Jane
15:46Who's producing him?
15:47Cameron
15:47It's factual, not drama
15:49Why does Cameron get all the good stuff?
15:50I really can't think
15:53Declan, how much are they paying you?
15:55Why'd you leave the BBC, Declan?
15:56Come on, Declan, give us a smile
15:57All right, all right
15:58Thanks, lads
15:59That's your last
15:59Give me the frock out of here
16:01This way?
16:02He's got the paddy among the pigeons, haven't you?
16:04Who says no blacks, no Irish?
16:05I'm a one-man
16:06Equal opportunities revolution, Ginger
16:08What's our point?
16:11I'm a journalist, not a celebrity
16:14I ask the questions
16:15Where the fuck is this Cameron guy I'm supposed to report to?
16:24Jesus, you don't just ambush someone
16:26I'm a serious fucking journalist
16:29I don't discuss my career with the Scorpion
16:32Shit, sure
16:36Come in
16:43Where is he?
16:47Take a seat, Declan
16:51What, you're...
16:52Cameron Cook
16:55You were expecting a man
16:57Possibly queer
16:58Which you would have endured
16:59But certainly not a woman
17:00And God forbid a black one
17:02I thought you were a publicity girl
17:03No, I'm a producery woman
17:05Listen, I'm not...
17:07Prejudice? Of course not
17:08You're an asshole to everyone
17:10This isn't gonna work, Tony
17:12It's not a chat show
17:13It's a serious program
17:14I want to produce a serious program, too
17:16But there are ways of calling the audience
17:17A sofa with cushions
17:19You've seen the set design, then
17:20I...
17:21Know...
17:21My audience, Tony
17:23A fucking sofa
17:24You might listen to Cameron
17:26NBC howled when I poached her
17:27Oh
17:28Do you know Charles Fairbairn?
17:30Controller of programs?
17:31Declan
17:33We knew each other at the beam
17:34Look, um...
17:36Fatter
17:36I don't miss the canteen at the BBC, darling
17:38And Gingerbread
17:39Head of operations
17:43I'm sorry, Tony
17:44I...
17:45Produce...
17:46Myself
17:46I've got Johnny Friedlander flying over for your first interview
17:49Johnny Friedlander, the film star
17:50No, Johnny Friedlander, my Dennis
17:52I don't interview actors
17:54Friedlander doesn't give interviews, not since the sex tape
17:56They're saying he could be the next Bond
17:58They'll have trouble replacing Roger
18:00I've been speaking to Jackie Kennedy
18:01She'll just blabber on about her old boring publishing job
18:04No, she wants to talk about life as a single American woman, actually
18:08You could learn something, Cameron
18:10Look, you two lock horns if it turns you on, but don't forget
18:12I hired you both because you can get ratings
18:15So let's pull together and get them, yes?
18:17The BBC have put top of the pops against us in the schedule
18:21So you need to be more popular than Jimmy Savile
18:23Johnny Friedlander is a global mega star
18:25And he hasn't given an interview in five years
18:26People will watch this
18:28Book Jackie for the next one
18:37Okay, fine
18:39But I do my own research
18:42And no fucking sofa
18:46Give him whatever fucking furniture he wants, alright?
18:48We all know it's not about the sofa
18:49I don't need this shit, Tony
18:50You brought me here to produce drama, not a chat show
18:53I brought you here to be the cleverest person in the building
18:56And terrify the rest of them into pulling their socks up
18:58So far, so good
18:58You're a lion in a petting zoo
19:00But we need big game like Declan to convince the IBA to renew our contract
19:05We lose the franchise, there won't be any drama to produce
19:07You'll be on that ex-boat back
19:11I didn't come here on a boat
19:13Forgive me, semantics
19:14I flew here on fucking Concord
19:17I paid for the ticket
19:20Worth every penny
19:39It's gorgeous
19:40Yes
19:40There are badger sets up at the top there
19:44And in spring
19:45The bluebells flamed between the beach trees
19:48Like little punts and burners
19:51Sorry, I sound like an estate agent
19:53I just can't believe this is all ours
19:54Well, only to the bottom of the wood
19:56And then Rupert will have you for trespassing
19:58Well, thank you for walking me back
20:03I'm really quite pissed
20:08It's like Rupert's back home
20:11Caitlin will be scaling the wall
20:12Oh, Caitlin's all talk
20:14She's sworn off and married until she's at least 35
20:17I've got too much to do, she says
20:19And you?
20:21With parents like yours, you must have big plans
20:24Oh, I'd like to be a cook
20:26But following recipes and writing things down
20:28I don't know what to do with myself, really
20:31How old are you? 19?
20:3220
20:34Your whole life ahead of you
20:37It's 1986
20:39You can have whatever you want
20:42So Cosmo tells us
20:48Back into battle
20:50How many children do you have?
20:52Two
20:52Three, counting my husband
20:54He works for Corineum too
20:56Yeah, you don't say
20:57I talk about my husband as little as possible
21:00He does enough of that himself
21:02Oh
21:04I'm coming to get you!
21:10I'm coming to get you!
21:12I'm coming to get you!
21:14You can't catch me!
21:16Hello!
21:17What's going on?
21:27I'm coming to get you!
21:34Oh my God!
21:35There's fire!
21:37Oh, there's fire!
21:49Oh, come on!
22:12Fire!
22:19Fire!
22:20Fire!
22:20I'm on fire!
22:21You did fall
22:22Potentially six inches over the line
22:24Well, you can't fall, then
22:25You're only ten inches over the line
22:30Damn!
22:33Don't be shy, darling
22:36Your fields are on fire
22:39And...
22:40It's the quickest way to get rid of the stubble after the harvest
22:43Could you, um...
22:45So you separated them on purpose?
22:47Sorry
22:49Who the fuck are you and why are you here?
22:51What about the animals?
22:52The rabbits and voles and birds
22:53Yes, and the lovely ickle earwigs
22:55Should I stop ploughing my fields because it's cruel to wood lice?
22:57You're murdering them!
22:58Do you want me to give them a state funeral?
23:03What the hell?
23:05I called the fire brigade
23:09Get off my land before I call the police as well
23:13Take that brute back to its pigsty!
23:16You are utterly...
23:22Abhorrent!
23:27Well, I was born an original sinner
23:32I was born from original sin
23:36And if I had a dollar bill
23:38For all the things I've done
23:40There'd be a mountain of money piled up to my chin
23:43Well, ladies and gentlemen
23:44You ordered a full-bodied Argentine
23:46And the wine, Basil
23:47Yes
23:48Have you tried this one before?
23:49It's very, very nice
23:51I'm assuming we're on expenses
23:53Baz enjoys helping you spend carineal money
23:56I do
23:57Oh, wonderful
23:59Now, I must say, I loved your coverage of the royal wedding, Charles
24:02Thank you, Baz
24:03Andrew and Fergie are a modern-day fairytale
24:06Well, you know what they say about redheads
24:08Enjoy chips
24:10That's Tony's bro
24:11Half-brother
24:12He got a good half
24:14The mother had a scandalous fling with an Argentinian polo player
24:17Basil was the result
24:19Baz was always the favourite with Daddy
24:21Despite his dubious origins
24:24And poor Tony just never managed to catch on
24:27Is he all a grudge?
24:28Tony, darling, he cultivates them like rare orchids
24:31Artists, Tony, cultivates artists
24:34You're in safe hands
24:35We're so lucky to have such a strong leader at the helm
24:38Hello, Archie
24:39I'll have the...
24:42Liver and marmalade
24:44And a radicchio salad
24:46And for you, sir?
24:48Steak
24:48Still mooing
24:57Tony's son
24:58Working here for the summer holidays
25:00Teaching his children the value of money
25:03And tell me, is Cameron Cook as big a bitch as she seems?
25:07She is a genius
25:12So we ripped up the treatment, aged all the characters down ten years
25:17And gave them some desire
25:18The men were all dickless
25:20So I said to Tony, our audience wants to fantasize about being banged over the seat while doing the dishes
25:26And four men went to mow
25:28Here's now the top rated network drama of the year
25:31Looking good, boys
25:32I smell like Sunday lunch
25:34You look delicious
25:34Everybody, this is Lady Gosling, chairwoman of the Independent Broadcasting Authority
25:39Best behaviour, everyone
25:42And this is the Declan set
25:44Yes, very impressive
25:45You're rather impressive, aren't you?
25:48Where did Tony find you?
25:50New York
25:50Ah, August 26, 1970
25:53I marched with Gloria Steinem on the women's strike for equality
25:58My mom was on that march
26:01Don't iron while the strike is hot
26:04I think you'll be pleased with the efforts we've made to address your concerns
26:07I am not your Barbie doll
26:11And Declan O'Hara's presence on the Carinium team
26:13It just nudges that political dial leftwards
26:16And the board
26:17If you want to hang on to your franchise, then Carinium's board needs strengthening
26:21Well...
26:22Have you thought of Rupert Campbell Black?
26:26Rupert's presence would give you legitimacy, Anthony
26:29I don't like taking people's franchises away, but Rupert would give Carinium real sparkle
26:35I want to be convinced that I'm backing the right horse
26:39Tell me more about your mama
26:42Mama was into palaces
26:43Really?
26:51I mean, they don't tell you when you leave the BBC
26:55Yes, there's a lot more money in independent television
26:58But you're going up against 14 other regional companies just like you
27:03And then there's franchise renewal
27:05But that's, what, once every five years?
27:07Yeah, but the anxiety is constant
27:08Because some other company can just waltz in and take your franchise away
27:13We may not have had biscuits at the BBC, but all we had to do was make television
27:18Do you think I made the wrong move?
27:20Oh, no
27:21Granada have Coronation Street, LWT has Blind Date
27:24Carinium now has you
27:27You're the golden goose, darling
27:28Take it back
27:29An attorney fucking fatted you up
27:33The foie gras is divine here, by the way
28:02I wish I was coming too
28:03I've only been invited so I can drive more than the exactly home
28:05When they're drunk
28:06Oh, you've already met Rupert
28:07It's not fair
28:09He's always Willy
28:09He's vile
28:11Oh, that journalist is so lucky to be shagging him
28:15What are you looking for?
28:16Oh, the bright blue mini
28:20Do you think it's going to happen again?
28:22What?
28:24Mummy
28:28Now we're here, I quite want to stay
28:30Taggy
28:32Oh, let's go
28:36What?
28:37You're wearing Taggy's dress
28:38Uh, I wore this to Bono's Christmas party
28:41It was mine then too
28:42Oh, you're so touchy these days
28:44Look, we are going to go and meet the most wonderful people this afternoon
28:48I'm excited
28:52Leaving London's going to be good for her and Daddy, isn't it?
28:56It will be
28:58I'll be okay
29:00I promise
29:03Tag
29:16Vernon will meet me when the boy at last
29:19Keys to the MG will be in his hands
29:24Adjust to the driving and I'm on my way
29:28It's all on the right side of Montego Bay
29:33Sit down
29:34Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
29:38Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
29:42Come sing me loud
29:44Come sing me Montego Bay
29:48Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
29:49Well done, darling
29:49Great turnout again, I must say
29:51Good
29:53As I've told them to up the proportion of orange juice in the Bugsville
29:57Don't everyone plastered like last year
29:59Oh, no
30:00So, which one is that you want for your board?
30:03Is it the electronics millionaire chap?
30:05Freddie Jones
30:06Don't be there with a touch
30:09I'll get him on satellite technology
30:11You can ask her if she's made any friends in the area yet
30:13She's opened a boutique in Colchester
30:15So, you should offer to pop in and buy something
30:20Hmm
30:22Is Miss Cook coming?
30:25Couldn't drag her away from the studio
30:28Deckling goes live in a matter of days
30:30And here's our star
30:36Ah
30:38Even more beautiful in the flesh, Mrs. O'Hara
30:41Thank you
30:42Dexter, Tony
30:43We're so glad you're here
30:44Everyone's dying to meet some new people
30:46We're all very bored of each other
30:48The Maud O'Hara
30:50My favourite actress, Baz
30:52The better bad here
30:54If you say so
30:56So, please, you can make it, Basil
30:57Deck, let me show you off to some board members
30:59Why don't we get you a drink?
31:02You were wonderful, as Lady Macbeth
31:17Not going to Lord B's party
31:19I turn Tony down, not my kind of crowd
31:22Is that the only reason?
31:25What other reason would there be?
31:29I want your opinion
31:30I'm not paid to have opinions
31:33Now, I agreed to ditch the sofa
31:35But why a desk?
31:36It's not a news anchor
31:37Perhaps he wants to hide behind it
31:39Huh
31:40It's not because he hasn't got good legs
31:42I've looked
31:47Steve, move the desk off the set for a minute
31:49Deckman asked for the desk
31:50Yeah, I want to see it without the desk
31:51It's just we built the desk
31:52I'm not telling you to burn a damn thing
31:54I'm telling you to move it so I can see the set
31:55Can you do that?
31:56Alright, keep your way going
31:59That's funny
32:01You know what isn't funny?
32:03Looking for another fucking job
32:15It's better, see?
32:17It's better
32:28Oh, Rupert's arrived
32:34Really?
32:35That's Gerald
32:37Rupert's aide
32:37We go way back
32:41Where's your gorgeous Lord and Martha?
32:43He's not here
32:44Damn it
32:45I have a pile of papers for him to sign
32:46And I can only pin him down at parties
32:48You can pin me down later if you like
32:51Oh
32:54All of all, thank you
32:56Actually, I think I might just
33:00Lizzie
33:02Lizzie
33:03I think the mum wants you
33:06He doesn't want me
33:08That's my husband
33:10Sorry
33:11Come on
33:31Thank you darling
33:32Feel like I should be reading the news
33:35Fortunately we have the wonderful James Verica to do that instead
33:38Thank you, thank you
33:39Now, don't worry, I won't keep you from your lunch
33:42But I'm very glad to have you all here
33:43To celebrate Carinium's newest star with me
33:46Ladies and gentlemen, Declan O'Hara
33:55Declan joins Carinium, of course, on the crest of a wave
33:58Wonderful ratings for our prestige drama Four Men Went to Mow
34:03Who knew arable farming could be so sexy?
34:07And with revenue from our sales to America
34:10We are confident that this is going to be our most successful autumn ever
34:15Ever
34:16Yeah
34:16Yeah
34:17Jumped over six four grown men
34:26Oh my god, it's him
34:27So sorry, sorry
34:30Didn't mean to steal your thunder
34:32No fire engines with you today
34:36Um, please, uh, go on to your speech
34:39Oh, hello, darling
34:40Hello
34:41Um, but Declan, you are undoubtedly the jewel in the Carinium crown
34:48And I know everyone here joins me in welcoming you
34:51Your wife, Maud
34:53And your daughter, Agatha
34:54To our Cotchester family
34:56Declan O'Hara, ladies and gentlemen
35:06Lunch, everybody
35:08Good lunch
35:08Thank you, Tom
35:09It's all right
35:09It's all right
35:10Oh, it's all right
35:11Good lunch
35:11It's all right
35:12It's all right
35:12Oh, it's all right
35:12Is it loving in your eyes all the way
35:23If I listen to your lies, would you say
35:29I am a man with eye conviction
35:34Look at all this gorgeous food.
35:40People are always saying you should write a book, Mrs Jones.
35:43You've led such a fascinating life.
35:45How funny.
35:47People are always telling me I should open a shop.
35:51So where have you moved to?
35:53Witcher, Green Lawns.
35:54It's a lovely house now.
35:55We've added the extension and double glazed over those draughty old windows.
35:59Those Victorians must have worn a lot of jumpers.
36:01Oh.
36:03Very good.
36:03But the only house I know around there is Bottom Hollow Court.
36:06Green Lawns sounded so much prettier, especially now we've landscaped the garden.
36:10No tatties, Fred Fred.
36:16Lord Baddingham is wooing my Fred Fred for his board.
36:19I'm encouraging him to get more cultured.
36:21We could do with a few more caring wives of Carina.
36:24Please.
36:26Call me Mousy.
36:28I love my friends too.
36:29Shall we go and find somewhere to perch?
36:31Let's.
36:32Mousy.
36:34Do move on to something soft, darling.
36:36We don't want the humpball again.
36:37I do so enjoy your couple.
36:42My husband tells me you're one of the most powerful men in England.
36:47Yeah, I suppose I am.
36:49And I expect you're allowed a few potatoes.
36:53One tatties, two tatties, three.
36:56Shall we find my booze?
37:01Hello, Duncan.
37:03I'll see you later.
37:05We were all so surprised when you left the BBC for Carinium.
37:09Hmm?
37:09Do you miss your integrity, or do you feel lighter without it?
37:13What was it the private eye called you?
37:15The first not quite a lady of Fleet Street, was it?
37:23Dag.
37:25See your mother out?
37:26No.
37:26I haven't.
37:30I've met a few athletes in my time.
37:32They always get what they want.
37:33And what do we want?
37:35To win.
37:36Well, sadly, I'm not show jumping anymore.
37:39Well, you're still athletic.
37:43You're certainly too disturbing to be living across the valley.
37:51Ah, there you are.
37:53Finally.
37:55Sure guy himself.
37:57Mr. Cumberblog.
37:59Getting to know the neighbours?
38:01Huh.
38:03Taggy, have you met Rupert?
38:05No.
38:06I think I'd remember.
38:08Agatha.
38:08That's my daughter.
38:09Taggy.
38:11I hear you did a hatchet job on poor Stratton.
38:14That I'd have loved to see.
38:16Hmm.
38:20She'll make a dent in Tony's whiskey collection.
38:25Why not?
38:41Are you hiding again?
38:43Well, they're just at the end of Das Rheingold.
38:45I need you out there with me.
38:47Bloody Rupert.
38:48I want to get this over with.
38:49You'll come here.
38:54Can't believe I'm going to him for legitimacy.
38:57All he did for his status was to be born into it.
38:59It's just social currency, darling.
39:01It's the way the world works.
39:02Public school, why?
39:03Well, should we send Archie to a comprehensive and save on the school fees?
39:07He'll only make you feel inferior if you give him permission.
39:10Now, deep breath.
39:12Shoulders back.
39:14Goodbye.
39:19Working the weekend?
39:20I hope Tony's paying you handsomely, Ginger.
39:24Come on, dogs.
39:26Took some digging, but I found these.
39:28I think you'll enjoy them.
39:30It's a little Declan O'Hara insurance.
39:57Peaceful is the country that is strongly earned.
40:00Oh, Baddingham family motto.
40:05Circa 1972.
40:10Lord Pop Pop, Tony's father, made his millions in munitions during the war.
40:16That's why Tony married Lady Monica of the Glen.
40:19He had Daddy's cash.
40:21Mon Mon had the house.
40:22And what Tony wants, most of all, class.
40:28And why are the English so obsessed with class and money?
40:33Declan?
40:33I was only asking Mr. Cumberblog a correction, Lord.
40:37Rupert.
40:38You've met Declan, then?
40:39Anyone want another drink?
40:40Oh.
40:41You found one?
40:43Hmm.
40:44It stays in Scotch.
40:45Did Monica choose it?
40:48Ignore us.
40:49Our families go back a long way.
40:51Not that far.
40:54Listen, can I have a word, Rupert, in private?
40:56A business proposition.
40:57Well, we're all friends here.
40:59Nothing you could say to me that dear Morty shouldn't hear?
41:02I am not drinking sherry with the wives while the men have all the fun.
41:06Oh, you want to be here when Tony asks me to be on his board?
41:15Oh, you want to be on your board?
41:40Mm-mm.
41:42Er, Tony, Paul Stratton's here.
41:45Ah!
41:48Sorry we're late, everyone.
41:50Bit of trouble getting out of bed, actually.
41:52Yeah, you know what newlyweds are like.
41:55Oh, mind yourself in those jeans.
41:57You bend over your eyes will pop out.
41:59And the new Mrs. Stratton.
42:01Now, you are a very welcome upgrade.
42:04Well done, Paul.
42:08Do you know Declan O'Hara?
42:09Oh, yes.
42:10Yeah.
42:11You did us all a favour, actually, Mr. O'Hara.
42:13Good to get everything out in the open.
42:15We're insanely happy.
42:16Aren't we, Paul?
42:17I'm a new man.
42:19Mm-hmm.
42:22Excuse me.
42:41I heard about you catching Campbell Black playing tennis in the Noddy.
42:47That's enough to upset anyone.
42:49Who knows about that?
42:52Well, the whole valley knows about the fire engines.
42:56And I know who the mystery woman was now.
42:59Don't I?
43:01Oh, boy.
43:08Oh, boy.
43:14Oh, boy.
43:20Oh, boy.
43:23Oh, boy.
43:26characteristic.
43:52You know you're dancing with the devil, don't you?
43:55Says the man who works for Thatcher.
43:58Let's hope we've got rhythm.
44:18Oh? Incoming?
44:20Hmm?
44:24You bastard!
44:26You've been shagging Sarah Stratton too!
44:34It was only tennis!
44:36Oh, my God!
45:00Fuck!
45:01I've dropped!
45:22I'm going to ruin you!
45:37I'm so sorry.
45:42I wouldn't mind, but that's my car.
45:57So it's Rupert now, is it?
45:59It was a conversation.
46:00I was conversing.
46:01You were all over him.
46:02Oh, now I can't even talk to a man without you assuming that I'm after him.
46:06Oh, grow up.
46:07God, I didn't ask to come here.
46:09You're the one that took the cheque and just sold us all out.
46:11Yeah, Maude, it's a horrible house and you live a terrible life.
46:14Well, these are our people now.
46:15Oh, my God, they're all horses and dogs and houses and cars.
46:20And who's got the longest fucking driveway?
46:22Oh, my God, the men are all desperate to ride anything as long as they're not married to it.
46:26The wives, Jesus, they haven't had an orgasm since pony club camp.
46:32Oh, my God.
46:38Oh, my God.
46:39That's not her, is it?
46:43Everyone was looking at you.
46:45Huh?
46:47And did you like that?
46:50Oh, God.
46:51How much?
46:52How much is it like that?
46:54Tell me.
46:56I'm not.
46:57I love it.
46:58I love it.
47:01I love it.
47:03I love it.
47:07I love it.
47:08I love it.
47:20I love it.
47:23Yes, ma'am.
47:36tip
47:38tip
47:38tip
47:45Oh, my God.
47:50I'm sorry.
47:52I'm sorry.
47:52I'm sorry.
47:57I'm sorry.
48:08I'm sorry.
48:21Yes.
48:23Yes, fine.
48:26No, it was, er, a buffet table.
48:31Of course, see you at 9am.
48:34You have a good evening, Prime Minister.
48:42Come on, dogs.
48:44Daddy's in trouble again.
49:03Mummy and Daddy are clearly back on track.
49:06Was Rupert there?
49:07Yeah.
49:09I think so.
49:19As she gazed at the Ocasius with their burnished bohemian beauty,
49:23entering this world of unbridled passion,
49:27she worried.
49:29Little did Dermot Ocasius know that he had brought his family into the wild.
49:34Into a world of untamable beasts,
49:37giving in to their basest needs.
49:48Hungry for sex.
49:55Hungry for status.
50:00Hungry for love.
50:04Hungry for status.
50:08Hungry for love.
50:09Hungry for power.
50:11You know, Campbell Black is finished after today.
50:15Hungry for comfort.
50:17Are you coming to bed?
50:18You had better be stopped while I'm making sure I get through that.
50:24Good dog.
50:25Good dog.
50:26Fly down.
50:34My eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord.
50:48Wow!
50:54Because, as seductive as these predators might be,
50:57One should always beware of being eaten now.
51:14My ass!
51:24This is a surprise.
51:27The Prime Minister wasn't thrilled about seeing her Minister's private lives splashed all over the papers.
51:32Paul Stratton's been shuffled to the back benches.
51:35Oh, dear. Have you lost your job?
51:37No, not at all. No. No, Mrs. Thatcher's given me a promotion.
51:41I'm her new Minister for Sport, so...
51:46I couldn't have done it without you.
51:50You had to come all this way to tell me that?
51:53I want you to keep your grubby little nose out of my affairs.
51:58Maggie will see through you soon enough, you overprivileged cunt.
52:07I have to try harder than that if you want to beat me, Lord Battingham.
52:18Come on.
52:20Come on.
52:22All right!
52:23Well, you.
52:26I love you.
52:28I know.
52:32It's in the back of New York City.
52:40So you.
52:41You, I love you.
52:45You.
52:46And you're here.
52:48Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
52:55ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
52:59ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
53:00ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
53:00ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
53:00ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
53:00ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
53:00ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
53:00ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
53:00ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
53:00ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
53:04ha ha ha
53:09You
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