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06:06abone olun.
06:08abone olun.
06:36abone olun.
06:38abone olun.
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06:40abone olun.
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07:25abone olun.
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07:26abone olun.
07:27abone olun.
07:28Look.
07:29Aşkın bir nefesini veriyorlar.
07:32Sadece deneyememiz yapıyorlar.
07:34Fakat yalla dağlar bir nefesini veriyorlar.
07:37Ve şimdi dediği gibi bir nefesini veriyorlar.
07:39Sonra ben bir nefesini koydukala.
07:41Bir nefesini, ya da bir sada bir ş traitor.
07:44Bir sada, bir sada bir sada alakalar ve bir sada alakalı bir sada�.
07:45Fakat şu anlar, towards ki rengi bir sada alakalı ve sada alakalı bir nieın var.
07:48Bir de nefesini tentang nefesini olacak.
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08:53İzlediğiniz için teşekkür ederim.
08:55Evet.
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09:52Evet.
09:55Evet.
09:57Evet.
09:58Evet.
09:59Evet.
10:00Evet.
10:00Evet.
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10:56Evet.
10:56Evet.
10:56Evet.
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11:13abone olmayı.
11:15abone olmayı.
11:17abone olmayı.
11:32abone olmayı.
11:44abone olmayı.
11:46abone olmayı.
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11:52abone olmayı.
11:56İngilizce bir şey yok.
11:58Bu bir kürteki bir şarkı mı?
12:00Bu bir kürteki.
12:02Ve bir kürteki.
12:04Bu bir kürteki.
12:05Bu ne kadar havalıcı bir kürteki.
12:11Bu öncesi ilk bir kürteki.
12:14Ve bu.
12:15Evet.
12:17İngilizce bir kürteki.
12:19Kürteki bir kürteki.
12:27Oh yes!
12:28I should see it.
12:29That is so good.
12:30That's two out of two.
12:31Yes.
12:35Wow, look at that one.
12:36Look at that.
12:37You can see his hat beating there.
12:38Yep.
12:39Well, that's good news.
12:40You're up the duff.
12:41All in all, Endgame had got five of the seven cows pregnant.
12:46So Endgame is fertile.
12:49Excellent.
12:50Bengay, you are a superstar.
12:56With the animals sorted, my convalescence went back to its humdrum cycle of dog walks.
13:03Hansa, how are you?
13:05And Greek yogurt.
13:08Oh, blech.
13:11There was the odd distraction though, such as the day when F1 driver Oscar Piastri dropped
13:17by.
13:19Yeah.
13:20A lot of gears.
13:21Yeah.
13:22To make content for his social media, he wanted to try his hand at reversing a dolly trailer
13:27into a bar.
13:30Yeah?
13:30All right.
13:31Come on in.
13:32So Caleb, who naturally had never heard of him.
13:35What did you do?
13:37I tried a car.
13:38Gave him a quick lesson.
13:41All right.
13:41Don't need to clutch.
13:42Don't need to start it up.
13:42Yeah.
13:43Handbrake.
13:44Park here.
13:45Now, if you're in neutral, like this, it'll roll a little bit.
13:47As soon as you pick a gear up, I revert it and stop.
13:50We'll open the back window so it's much easier so you can see.
13:53Yeah.
13:54Now, I like to sit like this.
13:56Yeah.
13:56So you're looking over your shoulder, and then I can use my left hand to steer.
14:00that's what I said about relaxing.
14:02Yeah.
14:02You've got to simply relax in the cab and make this whole space short.
14:05Okay.
14:08So, of course, as soon as you start reversing, and you're spinning the tractor up this way,
14:12Yeah.
14:12That dolly's going to start turning that way, but the back goes up the other way.
14:16Yeah.
14:16Does that make sense?
14:17Yes.
14:18And then I'm going to spin it the other way.
14:23Just gently feather that.
14:25Yeah.
14:25Just gently feather the accelerate.
14:27Yeah.
14:27It's very rushed, you know what I mean?
14:29Okay.
14:29Okay.
14:30And then into the shepherd, go.
14:33All right?
14:33Okay.
14:34Like that.
14:36With the Caleb-splaining done, Oscar took over the controls.
14:41Okay.
14:42I'm in reverse.
14:44Handbrake's off.
14:45We're off to a good start.
14:46Do you know who he is?
14:48No.
14:48Who is he?
14:49He's a Formula One racing driver.
14:50Oh, okay.
14:51So, you should piss this.
14:53Go this way.
14:55And I'm going to go this way.
14:57Try and get it that way.
15:02I feel like this is a restart job already.
15:06I mean, you can go through O'Rouge flat out, which is a corner at Spa.
15:11And Oscar Piastri goes through O'Rouge.
15:19Which is incredibly difficult and brave thing to do.
15:24Yeah.
15:25No.
15:25What's that way?
15:27But he is from a city.
15:30Yeah, I'm looking at it that way.
15:34The shed's over that way!
15:36I need to go that way.
15:43He probably doesn't have to position his car on the grid like this.
15:46Put a trailer on it.
15:50Oscar!
15:51We're going to go and get a cup of tea.
15:53We'll come back out when you finish.
15:54I think you can probably get dinner, to be honest.
15:57It does go dark soon.
15:59No, you bastard.
16:02I think we've established he can't reverse the trailer.
16:05Oscar, however, hadn't got that memo.
16:09Alright, let's start from the very beginning.
16:11And the bully was no quitter.
16:13Okay.
16:15I went too early.
16:18With the afternoon light fading.
16:22How did I end up that sideways?
16:26I had to immerse myself in some exciting government paperwork.
16:30And Caleb had jobs to do.
16:34So, we left Oscar to it.
16:37No.
16:38Fuck me.
16:44A few days later...
16:46How are you?
16:47With the easy-care sheep settling in,
16:50Dilwin had come over to give them a check-up.
16:53Which meant we, well, Caleb...
16:57...had to herd them into an inspection pen.
17:00Go on then, girls.
17:02Come on.
17:03Do you reckon it needs a hand?
17:04I'm not allowed to do manual labour.
17:07Are you not?
17:07Six weeks.
17:08Because they all ticker.
17:10Yeah.
17:12No, the doctor said,
17:13I've got to do nothing.
17:15Just watch him.
17:17That's a good job.
17:17Not a cow or a horse,
17:19I would have put it down right now.
17:21Would I?
17:22Given the name of the sheep,
17:24we were expecting the round-up to be a doddle.
17:27Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
17:29Hey, steady, steady, hello?
17:31I fucking hate sheep!
17:35Why?
17:35You.
17:37Oh!
17:41They're not easy-care, are they?
17:43They're not.
17:44They're impossible-to-catch sheep.
17:47Clearly, Caleb needed help.
17:50And since the sheep drone I'd used in the first series
17:53had turned out to be useless,
17:55I decided to use my car instead.
17:59Where are they?
18:00In the fort.
18:01What?
18:01Are you kidding?
18:05It's not good we've ever been in here
18:06the whole time we've been filming on the farm.
18:08This is, um, a Neolithic fort.
18:10I can see now.
18:12I mean, it's just a bund and a rectangle
18:14which used to house town.
18:17We are now entering the ancient city,
18:20which is home now to my sheep.
18:25I don't know.
18:25You see, you're surprised, aren't you?
18:26Because I'm going to use technology to round you up.
18:30Come on.
18:31Out of the fort.
18:34Yes.
18:35Out you go.
18:37Ah, ah, that way.
18:38Get on you!
18:41Hey, we're getting him, guys.
18:42With the inspection pen just yards away...
18:46Come on!
18:47Success was a certainty.
18:49But then, a splinter group jumped over the electric fence.
18:54Shit, shit, shit.
18:56And the rest sold as a dummy
18:58and broke free as well.
19:01Oh!
19:03Don't go back in, you stupid things.
19:08Should we kill him?
19:15Yeah?
19:16No, we're not killing them, but...
19:18I mean, look.
19:20Now they've gone back in the bloody fort.
19:25With the sheep very much not in the pen,
19:29we were forced to deploy every resource we had.
19:33Close that gap a little bit, Ben.
19:35The film crew...
19:36Everyone squeeze up!
19:38Right, with the entire production crew on it.
19:41We got it!
19:41We got it!
19:46Oh!
19:47Don't see an arse off!
19:50We tried every formation we could think of.
19:53On the far right-hand side, please.
19:55Hey!
19:56Come on.
19:58I'm trying to close that gap again, mate.
20:00But it was like trying to outfox Real Madrid.
20:04Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
20:05Oh!
20:08Look at them.
20:09Back in again.
20:12Let's go, Ames.
20:14Try again tomorrow.
20:16Well, that was a complete waste of an hour.
20:20Yeah.
20:20And a waste of your bill.
20:22Well, we tried.
20:23Yeah.
20:24Yeah.
20:26Right.
20:27You may have a point, Caleb, about these sheep.
20:30I'm blaming this on you.
20:33I vowed there and then never to buy any more sheep ever again.
20:45Which made my visit to the barn the following morning rather disturbing.
20:53What the fuck are they?
20:55I don't know.
20:56They're not sheep.
20:57What are they?
20:57They are sheep.
20:58Unless they're a goat.
21:00Look, they've got a complete...
21:01They've run at very high speed into a wall and smashed their snout.
21:05Look!
21:07That's not a sheep.
21:08They've got no eyes.
21:10But who's...
21:10I mean, whose are they?
21:11I don't know.
21:12Soon, the mystery was solved.
21:15Aren't they gorgeous?
21:17They're my little valois.
21:19You bought them?
21:21Yeah.
21:21You put them in here?
21:22Yeah.
21:23Well, they have to settle down for a couple of weeks because they've just arrived.
21:27No, no, sorry, Lisa.
21:29Why have you bought five flat-faced eyeless sheep?
21:33Because, um, I thought we could put them in the copse and I could breed them.
21:38Because they're quite expensive.
21:40You breed them?
21:41Yeah.
21:41They're quite expensive to buy.
21:43How much are they?
21:44They're two.
21:45Two hundred quid?
21:46Two hundred quid each.
21:47A thousand.
21:51Each?
21:52Yeah.
21:54Yeah.
21:55But, I thought if I could throw these...
21:58Okay, listen to me.
21:59Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
22:00There's 10,000 pounds worth of sheep just here.
22:04Diddly squat.
22:05Hobby farm.
22:06It is.
22:07Literally 10,000 pounds, Lisa.
22:09I know.
22:10Can you imagine what I can sell the babies for if they breed?
22:12And I will breed them.
22:13So, these have all been blood tested.
22:15So, I'll get an AI...
22:16Where are they from?
22:18From, um, up in Cheshire.
22:20Oh, Cheshire, there we go.
22:22Every single Manchester United footballer's wife has these as a pet, don't they?
22:27They will be.
22:27They will be when I sell them to them.
22:29Wilmslow sheep.
22:31Well, I'll leave you to...
22:32Can you...
22:32You're going to have to deal with this.
22:34Yeah.
22:36We could skin them and put them on the bath, room floor.
22:39Don't tease them.
22:43One of the things the doctor had especially banned me from doing was going to my pub.
22:50Partly, this was to stop me drinking in it.
22:52But mostly, it was to stop me stressing about it.
22:56I had to ignore her, though, because the list of problems was becoming huge.
23:04Power is one of the biggest problems.
23:07To get enough electricity up here to run the pub, we'd need new cables, which would cost £200,000.
23:14And obviously, that's ridiculous.
23:16So we've had to hire this generator, and it costs £100 a day, a day, to fuel it.
23:24Mind you, that's nothing compared to the cost of theft.
23:28Just last night, somebody stole £200 worth of cooking oil.
23:33And that's not the maddest thing that gets nicked from here.
23:36Every single day, somebody steals the light bulbs and the urinal traps.
23:43We've had to screw these down to stop them being nicked.
23:46Who steals a urinal trap?
23:49Glasses.
23:50Want to hazard a guess at how many of these are stolen every week?
23:54No, you're quite wrong.
23:56It's 400.
23:59400 glasses a week are nicked from here.
24:03For some reason, we don't have enough water pressure up here.
24:06So we've had to install this 6,000-litre tank, which fills up overnight.
24:11And even this isn't big enough.
24:13I mean, we just keep running out.
24:16This is the overflow car park, and we've had to put Hardcore down,
24:20because, as you can see here, everyone was getting stuck.
24:23We even got a fire engine stuck the other day.
24:26Then there's the tent.
24:27Every morning, the roof is lined with condensation.
24:30And if it's windy, it gets shaken loose, so it's raining in here.
24:35Then, you've got staff problems, complaining to HR,
24:39which is basically me.
24:39Charlotte, for example.
24:41Charlotte runs the butcher's counter.
24:43And you moaned, with some justification,
24:46that customers were saying you look like Caleb.
24:48There was a comment that I was Caleb after transition.
24:54See, this is what you have to deal with as a landlord.
25:00There was, however, a more immediate problem to take care of.
25:05Because with November the 5th fast approaching,
25:09Caleb and I needed to build the bonfire.
25:12Back up.
25:13And before getting stuck in, I had to lay out the terms of my employment.
25:19You know, sadly, I can't help you with this.
25:21Nick, go home.
25:22No, I need to be here to advise you.
25:25But don't argue, because I can't have stress.
25:28So, first of all, we need to get a triangular shape.
25:31Oh, not necessarily.
25:32What we do now, look, is you just put the pallet,
25:35either side over the top of this.
25:37What?
25:37We just let you keep that in the centre.
25:39We have a walking bit here.
25:40You can't have a cube-shaped bonfire.
25:41You can.
25:42You can't.
25:42You can.
25:43You just can't.
25:44You can't.
25:45No, what you need is a pole down the middle, a tree log.
25:48Down the middle.
25:49And then you stack things up like a wigram.
25:51That has to be the shape of your bonfire.
25:54Once we'd agreed that I was right,
25:57the first job was to find some logs.
26:01Have to get over that way a little bit.
26:02Well, you pull it that way.
26:05Just pull it.
26:06What, are you going to get out and pull over?
26:07No, I'm not.
26:08Well, you're going to have to.
26:09If you're going to get out and pull over.
26:10My doctor says I can't pull logs.
26:12Well, you can't do anything.
26:13You can pull a log.
26:14I can't. You?
26:15Stand in there.
26:16Or just go over that way a little bit.
26:17Just don't give me stress.
26:19For God's sake.
26:22I really do like working in these new conditions,
26:26when I can just point at things with my...
26:27You're loving this, aren't you?
26:28Yeah.
26:29I don't like this new you.
26:31Well, you didn't like the old me very much.
26:32I did do failure right there.
26:37I do love this little sport.
26:38It's good, isn't it?
26:39Yeah.
26:39It is great.
26:41You do look abnormal, though.
26:43I'm in a mobility scooter.
26:46This is the mobility...
26:47This is what I would get you on the farm.
26:49The mobility scooter of JCBs.
26:53It's a scale of precision.
26:55Both of which I have in abundance.
26:58Fucking useless.
26:59You stupid idiot.
27:01What?
27:02It's the worst loading I've ever seen.
27:05Don't worry, Caleb.
27:06With editing, it'll look like you know what you're doing.
27:08I'm just getting it, you asshole.
27:14That's a good long straight log.
27:16That's what you need is the spine.
27:25That's hard work putting that in.
27:27Right, now it's time to take the shade.
27:29Look, our bonfire is going...
27:31What are you doing?
27:32I didn't do anything.
27:33You just pushed it out.
27:34I didn't push it out.
27:35I was talking to you.
27:37You did that on purpose.
27:38I did not do it.
27:39You did.
27:40Give me a reason why I'd knock our bonfire down.
27:43Get the boom out.
27:46Fuck's sake.
27:47Stress.
27:48Fuck me.
27:49It's like talking to a fucking brick wall.
27:50That's what you can feel it.
27:51You can feel it building.
27:54Caleb, you know a lot of farmers have bonfire nights?
27:59Yeah.
28:00Is that because they can get rid of certain things on the farm?
28:04Absolutely not.
28:04It's to get the family together.
28:06Yeah.
28:07Eating...
28:08But if you could see the colour of the smoke coming off the bonfire, which you can't.
28:11It's night, obviously, on bonfire night.
28:14I do think a lot of farmers do like bonfire night.
28:16I love bonfire night because you can just get certain things...
28:19Your farm is a lot tidier the next day.
28:21100%.
28:23That's going to the skip.
28:24Don't look at that.
28:24Of course it is.
28:26Keep coming.
28:29With the centre pole and the pallets in place...
28:32Perfect.
28:33The next job was to dress it with the bushes.
28:37If I get the sports telehandler and I'll simply push this onto there...
28:41That won't work.
28:42You'll make a mess over that side.
28:43I promise I won't.
28:44It won't work?
28:45It will.
28:46Just watch and then you'll see.
28:56Come on.
28:59That went well.
29:02Really well.
29:04What was a car park, it's now a fucking mud bar.
29:11Eager to get the thing finished, we continued working into the darkness.
29:18And progress was made.
29:21If you knock it all down now, I would literally cry.
29:24How brilliant's that?
29:26Yeah.
29:28Shall I tell you what's funny?
29:30You know this programme's watched in America?
29:32Yeah.
29:33They're going to wonder what the bloody hell we're doing.
29:36They don't know what bonfire night is.
29:39Actually, you explain it to them.
29:43Go on.
29:44Explain to our American audience why we do this every year.
29:49Who do we put on top?
29:55Guy Fawkes.
29:56Okay, so, Guy Fawkes, back in the 17th century, tried to blow up the Houses of Parliament, blow up the
30:03government.
30:03He failed.
30:05He was caught.
30:06And every single year we commemorate his failure by burning an effigy of him on a bonfire.
30:13And everyone does it. Everyone.
30:15There's fireworks, and we celebrate his failure.
30:17How did he fail?
30:18They stacked the basement of the Houses of Parliament with gunpowder, and then the guy he'd appointed to look after
30:24it fell asleep and the guards found him.
30:27Hey, but you don't have to have Guy Fawkes on the top of the bonfire.
30:30What'd you have? A tire?
30:32Anything you don't like.
30:35Good?
30:36All right. I'm knocking it on there for tonight.
30:38Yeah.
30:38It's pretty good from here.
30:45A couple of days later, Dilwin was due back to try once again to check over my new Easy Care
30:53sheeps.
30:55Right, second attempt to get these sheep in the crush made doubly difficult because Caleb, it being November, has taken
31:04his family on holiday to Cornwall.
31:07So I'm going to try and use the dogs as well.
31:10Right, ready?
31:14Dogs, you need leads on.
31:16Santa, Arria, heel, heel.
31:18Oi, you need your leads on.
31:22Nope.
31:25Well...
31:25Right.
31:28It's me, then.
31:31Right, these Easy Care sheep have positioned themselves at exactly the wrong end of the field.
31:38Except, as it turned out, for one of them.
31:43Oh, God above.
31:47It's dead, isn't it?
31:52There's a big wound in its neck.
31:56Fortunately, Dilwin then arrived.
31:59Hi, Dilwin.
32:00Hello there.
32:01Ah.
32:01I don't know how the ear's gone.
32:03There's no ear.
32:05Well, who would eat a sheep's ear?
32:07Dogs.
32:08Dog worrying is a terrible problem.
32:09When I was in Herefordshire, working in Herefordshire, the police would bring a dog in and say, we're worried about
32:15this dog has been worrying sheep. And we'd make that dog vomit. And if it vomited up wool, it would
32:23put down there and then.
32:24No way.
32:25It was. That was in 1990.
32:30Right, so...
32:31Yes.
32:31Also, I think the crows have had a go at her.
32:33The eyes, I see the eyes, the crows have taken the eyes out.
32:36Yeah, and the backside here.
32:38What, the crows have eaten their anus?
32:40Yeah.
32:41It's just they tend to poke in there.
32:43What?
32:44Yeah, they can poke there and literally pull the lining, the gut, out through the anus. And then the crows
32:51have thought, here we go. Let's have a feast.
32:54How come I don't come back as a crow?
32:57And the other thing I can see, she's also quite swollen in her right hand there.
33:01Quite what?
33:02Quite swollen.
33:03Well, isn't that rigor mortis?
33:05No.
33:06Well, that's all gangrene that's set in there.
33:08Gangrene?
33:09Yeah.
33:10What manner of death is this? A dog tears your ear off and then you get gangrene?
33:14Yes.
33:15Okay, look, we could sit and discuss this all day long, but...
33:18It's not gonna bring her back, is it?
33:19No.
33:21Dilwin said that, to be sure, he wanted to do a post-mortem back at the yard, which meant I
33:27had to convert my Range Rover into a hearse.
33:31I won't pick it up myself.
33:34No, I'll give you a hand.
33:35Do you want to swing it in?
33:36Please don't let the doctor see me doing all this shit.
33:39Right.
33:40Mind yourself, dog.
33:41One.
33:43Two.
33:45Three!
33:46Oh!
33:46There you go.
33:49Oh!
33:49That dog thinks he's great.
33:52Jesus Christ.
33:58God, I'm glad I'm not in there.
34:01Back at the yard, Dilwin Dexter set to work.
34:05I'm jumping, getting the legs out of the way.
34:07I was gonna say I'll sit in the car while you do this, but that's worse in there.
34:11Oh, God.
34:12What?
34:13Well, it's just rotten, isn't it?
34:15What is?
34:16Little carcasses.
34:19That's the stomach, isn't it?
34:20The intestines.
34:21That's...
34:22That's his fourth stomach.
34:24That's his third one.
34:26Because they've got four stomachs.
34:28We did say we'd show farming warts and all on this show, but this is really stretching it this morning,
34:33isn't it?
34:34Oh, Christ, now the faeces is all coming up.
34:37Yeah, I've made a hole in there.
34:38It's shitting into its own stomach.
34:39Oh, for Christ's sake!
34:44I don't want to come across as metropolitan here, but I'll still win.
34:48I've nicked its power.
34:49What are you learning from this?
34:52Yeah, this is well dead.
34:54Yeah.
34:59Well, I wasn't expecting it to get up and run off.
35:03I'd like to apologise on behalf of the entire Clarkson's Farm team for this scene.
35:09I promise we will try to lift the mood.
35:17Sadly, however, this wasn't possible.
35:19Because over at the pub, there'd been a problem with our bonfire.
35:28Right.
35:33Shit.
35:35There was no time to worry about which vandal was responsible for this, though.
35:40Hi, guys.
35:41Hello.
35:42Because with bonfire night looming, the pub team and I had to get cracking on the rebuild.
35:49Flip it forward a bit, crowd it over.
35:52There you go.
35:53You just pulled down there.
35:54Mark, I need to get the straw to go in the middle, which enables people to set fire to it
36:00when we're looking.
36:03As we beavered away, Annie revealed the arson attack had been an inside job involving one of our own car
36:10park attendants.
36:12He texts me and confessed.
36:14The guy has confessed?
36:16Yeah, he sent me a message.
36:17It's just his final parting gift.
36:20Had a couple of pints on us and then set fire to us.
36:23What, we gave him a couple of pints?
36:24I think he went to the pub.
36:25He was drinking in the pub with his friends and then came down here, lit something in the woods, walked
36:30through here and stood back and enjoyed it.
36:31What did he light in the woods?
36:32I don't know.
36:33You can see on the CCTV, he carries something from there into here, chucks it in and then retreats.
36:41Did anyone get any footage of the fire?
36:44Yeah.
36:45Have you?
36:45Yeah.
36:46Really, can I see it?
36:48Oh, wow, is that it?
36:49Yes.
36:51So it's actually a very good fire, albeit 72 hours early.
36:55Yes.
36:56Well, I hope he was pleased with himself.
37:01Oh, we're round the edge.
37:03Well, I hear.
37:06It's walking past your butcher's shop and you can't eat meat.
37:09I mean, that is.
37:11You've got a pub and a butcher's and you can't have anything from any of it.
37:14No, I can't get high on my own supply, exactly.
37:22As dusk fell, we'd broken the back of the rebuild.
37:28Do you know that's better than the first one?
37:30Yeah.
37:31I didn't see the first one until it was burning, though.
37:36I think we can be proud of that.
37:39It's good.
37:41Good, good.
37:42What are you having for dinner tonight?
37:45Erm, I haven't thought.
37:47It's just, er, I've noticed there's a steak in your pocket.
37:52And...
37:54And, er...
37:54All right, I've been shoplifting, I admit it.
37:58Well, well spotted.
37:59This is a good training course for you all.
38:02Right, I'll see you all tomorrow then, everyone.
38:03And thanks ever so much for this.
38:05It's, erm, brilliant.
38:07Cheers.
38:08Onwards.
38:09Thanks, guys.
38:12As the big day dawned, Charlie came back from his holiday.
38:16And immediately headed over for an urgent chat.
38:21Not surprising given the cataclysmic event that had hit farming
38:25while he'd been away.
38:29The Chancellor unveils one of the biggest ever tax-raising budgets in history.
38:34From 2026, farmers whose agricultural assets are worth more than £1 million
38:40will have to pay 20% inheritance tax.
38:43Of course, up until now, farms have been exempt.
38:46This will ensure that we continue to protect small family farms
38:51with three quarters of claims unaffected by these changes.
39:00Now, she's claiming only 70, well, 73% of farms won't be affected by the changes,
39:05which is nonsense.
39:07I mean, it's just not true.
39:09Yep.
39:09She's claiming it's, you know, it's only a tiny...
39:11It isn't.
39:12Anyone whose land and assets are worth more than a million is hit.
39:16So, well, if you've got 100 acres in Huddersfield,
39:20if you've got a tractor and a combine harvester, you're being clobbered.
39:24Yep.
39:24So page three of the Sunday Times, other papers are available.
39:27Some chap called Stephen wrote about a herd of cows that have been there for five generations.
39:34They're a dairy herd in Leicestershire, farmed by the Eccleston family.
39:38They've got 600 cows.
39:40Their 600 cows alone take them over the threshold.
39:44Yeah. Just the cows?
39:45Just the cows.
39:45That's not the dairy parlour.
39:47That's not a tractor.
39:49That's not any of the implements.
39:51Everything...
39:51Just the cows gets them over Rachel Reeves.
39:54And she's sitting there with a straight face saying only 27% of farms are affected.
40:00It's not true.
40:02No, but I mean, if you have a rich person who's made a lot of money in investment banking and
40:07buys land,
40:08so that they don't have to pay inheritance tax, I can understand, I don't agree with it,
40:12but I can understand why people would say that was unfair.
40:15I get that, and I can see why Rachel Reeves would come after people like that.
40:19You know, the rich people who bought land in the countryside, i.e. me.
40:23Yep.
40:23But what...
40:24She's just got a blunderbuss and fired at, you know, the investment bankers,
40:28or James Dyson, who's got Cantus, you know, Hooverman with a billion acres.
40:33She's aimed for him, but she's hit all the farmers.
40:36Well, I haven't finished my bad news.
40:39That's the headline of the budget.
40:41You read down into the budget, you're going to have a carbon tax on your fertiliser.
40:472027, she's going to tax fertiliser.
40:50We're going to be paying between £50 and £75 per tonne on fertiliser.
40:56But, you know, the strange thing is, when you import wheat from somewhere else,
41:01it doesn't have all this on it.
41:03You know, it'll be... UK farmers will have these taxes.
41:07So, people will... bakers will just say,
41:10we can't afford to buy British wheat, we'll buy Canadian wheat when none of this...
41:14None of this... Yeah.
41:16And then, DEFRA released a statement on the same afternoon
41:20saying that the 2025 basic payment would be cut by 76%.
41:25And you're going to get 24%.
41:28So, next year...
41:29Hold on.
41:29The basic payments were supposed to be phased out over...
41:33Three years.
41:34She saved half a billion next year from farming, alone, in cash flow.
41:40Pick-up trucks.
41:41They've reclassified pick-up trucks as cars.
41:44So, farmers using the L200s and Ford Rangers,
41:47that's now a car, so you've got to pay proper tax on those.
41:50And that hasn't been mentioned.
41:52I'm going to be a non-dom.
41:54If only I knew someone I could marry who was Irish.
41:59Yeah, you can't even use your...
42:01That could cost you a lot more.
42:03LAUGHTER
42:11Meeting over, we headed to the pub to get ready for the bonfire party.
42:18And job one was deciding whose effigy should be burned.
42:25There we are.
42:27I'm Lord Ali.
42:28You have free spectacles.
42:30Free suit, free tie.
42:33And the opportunity to go for a little ride in a telehandler.
42:37Look at that, Keir.
42:45Come on, Keir.
42:46It's going to lift you up by your own testes, will you?
42:50Yes!
43:01Once darkness fell, the pub garden started to fill with the locals.
43:07Ladies and gentlemen,
43:10welcome to the first ever bonfire night party at the farmer's dock.
43:14We've got pulled pork burgers with homemade apple sauce.
43:17We've got toffee apples.
43:18And for the children, we have sausage sandwiches.
43:21And everything, as is always the case at the farmer's dock,
43:25was grown or reared in Britain by British farmers.
43:31Before Rachel Reeves...
43:33Sit up for everybody.
43:35Right, here we go.
43:36Before the traditional celebrations began, though,
43:40I'd laid on an extra treat in the shape of a drone show.
43:44OK, ladies and gentlemen, hope you enjoy.
43:53What's happening?
43:55Oh, Peppa.
43:57Peppa the cow.
43:59Oh, that's so clever.
44:02What's this going to be?
44:03What's it going to be?
44:05Oh, look, it's the sheep.
44:06Sheep.
44:07Oh, wow, look at that.
44:11Wow.
44:13Right now.
44:18Pig.
44:19Is it a pig?
44:20Yeah.
44:22Oh!
44:25I think there might be a crash on the A40 when they look up at that.
44:31Combine.
44:32Combine.
44:32It's Combine.
44:33Gerald's Combine.
44:34Wow.
44:36That's gorgeous.
44:38The pump in the glass, isn't it?
44:40That's...
44:41I was filling up.
44:44Oh!
44:44Oh, what's it becoming?
44:49Oh, Gerald!
44:50What?
44:53Look at that.
44:54Wow.
44:55That's your Christmas part sorted.
45:00And the part I'd been looking forward to even more.
45:04Look at this.
45:06We have smoke.
45:07We have fire.
45:09Look at it go.
45:11Look, he's smoking.
45:14The guy is getting a warm posterior.
45:17His suit has caught alight.
45:21His hair is burning.
45:24His crotch is on fire.
45:30That is one burning man.
45:43Given the strength of feelings around here post-budget,
45:46it felt good to make fun of the government.
45:56But all of us knew that to try and stop this astonishing attack on British farming,
46:03fun wouldn't cut it.
46:08And that soon,
46:10we'd have to get serious.
46:20Why do we farm?
46:22Why do we accept low prices?
46:24Does the government even know where food comes from?
46:27No!
46:28When was the last time you played at a venue smaller than this?
46:34Oh!
46:35Hold that bar again!
46:37Ah, fuck!
46:39We need a Christmas grotto.
46:41Oh no!
46:43Get away!
46:43Get away!
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