- 2 days ago
Great Expectations
Jude's 10-year-old cousin, Jade, comes to the mall and develops a crush on Jonesy.
Jude's 10-year-old cousin, Jade, comes to the mall and develops a crush on Jonesy.
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00:10That's right, it's singles night, a new way to meet that cuts right to the kiss.
00:15Tell me who you want to connect with, and I'll give you the time, the place, and five minutes to
00:21get acquainted.
00:22Okay, who's next?
00:24Me, me, me.
00:24No, over here.
00:25So, you finally hit rock bottom.
00:27Excuse me? I happen to be providing a selfless service.
00:31Making money providing people with dark, creepy places to suck face?
00:35It's not my fault there aren't enough make-out spots in the mall.
00:38This is just a slightly less random version of Spin the Bottle.
00:42Dave will be in the boot at 8.35.
00:44Purple Frog, 8.30.
00:47Windmill at 8.35.
00:49Nope, 8.45.
00:51Think you could pair me with her?
00:54Permission to launch.
00:55Be in the UFO at 8.40 sharp.
00:58See?
00:58Mini make-out golf helps the whole community.
01:01Hey, think I could meet Bradford?
01:05Totally.
01:06Be in the UFO at 8.40.
01:10Genius.
01:22Wow.
01:24Caitlin?
01:25Quiet!
01:29Mini make-out golf.
01:31Best idea ever.
01:32So, how was the tongue wrestling?
01:34Come on, man.
01:36Did you get her number?
01:37Yeah, I, uh, got it.
01:41Nice.
01:41How about you, Caitlin?
01:43Tonsil hockey?
01:44Good times?
01:45Oh, it was something.
01:49Uh, forgot to wash my hands.
01:51See ya.
01:54Okay.
01:54What is with you two?
01:57Eee!
01:58Yes!
01:59Travis is coming home today.
02:01Eee!
02:01Travis the Super Jock?
02:03Can you make him hang out with me this time?
02:04I'll be cool, I swear!
02:06Sorry, but when I'm not helping Coach with his stupid baseball promotion,
02:10he and I are gonna be joined at the hip.
02:13Dudes, say hola to my cuz, Jade.
02:16Hi, Jade!
02:17Our folks are here in some town called Mexico,
02:20so she's here for a week.
02:22All expenses paid.
02:24I haven't seen you since you were riding around on a tricycle.
02:27Don't you owe me five bucks?
02:28Gonzi.
02:29I mean, Jonesy.
02:31Heh heh, Gonzi's what she always used to call me.
02:38Ugh, stupid baseball promotion.
02:41One hundred and seventy-two minutes until I get to hook up with Travis again.
02:45One hundred and seventy-one.
02:47Urgh, come on, time!
02:54Thanks for the support.
02:57Okay, I'm in major need of advice.
03:01How should I put this?
03:03Wyatt and I, we sort of kissed.
03:06What?
03:07I knew something was up with you two.
03:09It was at the make-out golf thingy.
03:11Jonesy put us together by accident.
03:13But you know the crazy part?
03:15Other than swapping spit with one of your oldest friends?
03:18The kiss was beyond incredible.
03:22Best kiss ever.
03:24Wait a minute.
03:25Wyatt, world's greatest kisser?
03:27Didn't see that coming.
03:28I know, right?
03:29But that kiss, it was so, so impossible to describe.
03:38That's what the kiss felt like.
03:42No way.
03:43A perfect kiss with Caitlyn?
03:46I know, but I could never risk actually dating her, right?
03:50Why not?
03:51She always smells like lemons and marshmallows.
03:54Plus, I'm a romantic failure.
03:55True.
03:56Jonesy, look, I'm on the bonus level.
03:57I've never even thought about Caitlyn in that way before.
04:00She is pretty great.
04:02Love works in mysterious ways, bro.
04:05Jonesy, I'm beating your high score.
04:08No one beats me at zombie zebras.
04:10Hello?
04:11A little support over here?
04:12The zebras-ter?
04:14Look, bottom line, Caitlyn knows you too well.
04:18You won't be able to get away with anything.
04:20Trust me.
04:22Hey, Nicky.
04:23No, I am not wasting my day playing video games.
04:27Woo!
04:27Wait a minute.
04:28Busted.
04:29See?
04:33Finally.
04:35Jen.
04:36Eee!
04:45Hey, it was awesome to almost see you.
04:48Oh, Travis, I miss you so much.
04:51Me too.
04:51Oops, hang on.
04:53Yeah?
04:54Okay, they're in five.
04:55Sorry, God never stops.
04:57Catch up later?
04:58Yeah?
04:58I want to hug you all to myself.
05:01Well, tonight, I'm all yours.
05:09Oh, uh, I was just caffeine boost.
05:14Yeah, I'm, you know, break time, so...
05:17Oh, sure. Long day. Gotta do it.
05:19Um, ten sugars might be enough.
05:22Huh? Oh, right. Well, I should probably...
05:28Are you okay?
05:29Never better.
05:31So, about, you know...
05:33Oh, yeah. Uh, that went weird, huh?
05:37Well, it was definitely unexpected.
05:39I hope you don't think I set it up.
05:41No, no. Of course not.
05:44Because I would never do that to you.
05:46Sure, I mean, never?
05:48Obviously, it was a total screw-up.
05:50Total screw-up?
05:51I just mean it was a mistake.
05:53Well, I thought it was spectacular.
05:56But if that's how you feel,
05:57maybe we should just stay away from each other
05:59so we don't make another mistake.
06:01Caitlin, wait!
06:04How do I mess things up so badly so quickly?
06:08Jonesy!
06:10By the way, just in case you're blind and clueless,
06:13that girl is totally crushing on you.
06:15Well, of course she is. I'm awesome.
06:18Deluded and egomaniacal.
06:19What's not to love?
06:28Travis is back!
06:30What? Why didn't you tell me?
06:31My hair's a mess!
06:33I feel very pretty today.
06:35I feel like I'm top of my game.
06:37Coach might be one of those fans
06:39you eventually put a restraining order on.
06:41Yeah, this celebrity thing
06:43sure brings out the weird in people.
06:45But forget him.
06:49Aw, nuts.
06:50I have to meet a rep about an endorsement deal.
06:52Gotta go.
06:53Dinner?
06:54Definitely.
06:57I hear you, sister.
06:59Can't live with him.
07:00Can't live without him.
07:02Modern Current's new CD?
07:05Thanks, Jadester.
07:06I hate to break it to you, Jade,
07:08but Jonesy's taken.
07:09It's just a gift.
07:10Oh, sure.
07:11No, of course.
07:12Great pick, too.
07:13They've been your favorite band since, what, grade four?
07:15No.
07:16Jonesy first heard Modern Current
07:17this summer after grade five.
07:19I know everything about Jonesy.
07:21I'm not sure that's something
07:22you should be proud of.
07:23Wanna bet I know more than you?
07:24You're ten.
07:25That's okay, really.
07:26Does Jonesy like ketchup
07:27or relish on his hot dogs?
07:29Ketchup, obviously.
07:30Neither.
07:31He's all about the mustard.
07:32I do love the yellow stuff.
07:34One point for the mini bra.
07:36What's his favorite movie?
07:37Dragon Thunder.
07:38Wrong.
07:39Rebel Alien Assault.
07:40Ha!
07:41Right again!
07:42Yeah, well, why don't you ask me something less trivial?
07:45Okay.
07:45What's Jonesy's blood type?
07:47What?
07:48He needs blood, and it's all down to you.
07:50What's his type?
07:52Hurry before I bleed to death.
07:54Uh, um, F negative?
07:56Eh, it's A, B.
07:58But Jonesy can receive blood from any other blood group.
08:00I did not know that.
08:01Okay, blood type?
08:03That's just weird.
08:04Jade is a very special little dudette.
08:06And on the bright side, if I suddenly need a hot dog and a blood transfusion, now you're prepared.
08:12Ugh.
08:19Um, do you think you could pay an easy bit of attention to me?
08:23Sorry, I know this is annoying.
08:25Hi, Travis.
08:26Can I have your autograph?
08:28Sure.
08:29Here you go.
08:30Maybe I should ask for an autograph.
08:33Anyway.
08:34Ugh.
08:35My buds are mad.
08:36I still haven't seen them.
08:37Yeah, I know how they feel.
08:38Okay, okay, I'm turning it off.
08:41See?
08:43That would be my emergency phone.
08:46Aw, man.
08:48No time for dessert.
08:49You haven't even had dinner.
08:51Can't we have five uninterrupted minutes together?
08:54Let me get this out of the way, and I swear, tomorrow will be all about you.
08:58I'm gonna hold you to that.
09:00I'll make it up to you tomorrow, Jenny.
09:02You'll see.
09:03Ugh.
09:04I'll take his to go.
09:08Travis can't give me five minutes, but he can sign every hot girl's shirt.
09:12Autographs mean nothing.
09:14Wyatt hasn't had lemonade all day.
09:16He's buying from somewhere else.
09:18I just know it.
09:19Come on.
09:19It can't be that serious.
09:21Just talk to him.
09:22I can't even face him after last time.
09:26Hey, how's Caitlin doing?
09:28Uh, bad reception.
09:29I'm just gonna...
09:32He's too embarrassed to go anywhere near Wyatt.
09:35We have to do something.
09:36This calls for an intervention.
09:39Commencing operation FaceTime.
09:42Start tiling.
09:46Hello?
09:47Jude broke his leg by the fountain.
09:49Come quick.
09:50Jude didn't...
09:50Hi.
09:51Hi.
09:54Jude, where is...
09:56Wait.
09:57I'm so sorry about before.
09:59You said what you meant.
10:00No, I didn't.
10:01The kiss was amazing, but I don't want to wreck our friendship.
10:04Well, not doing anything about it is sort of wrecking it anyway, so...
10:09Maybe we should...
10:09Stop fighting and go with it?
10:10Like, on a date?
10:12I guess we could.
10:13Then it's a date.
10:15Yes, they're talking.
10:20Nice shoes.
10:21Do they come with volume control?
10:23Very funny.
10:24Jade gave them to me.
10:25How did she afford those?
10:27When I was a kid, I gave people handmade cards and painted rocks.
10:30Yes, she found them.
10:31And they just happened to be the perfect size.
10:33Has it occurred to you that she might be shoplifting?
10:36I can't believe you'd even think that about my little jade.
10:39Ah, you're too blind to see it because she's got a crush on you.
10:42Well, you're jealous of a ten-year-old.
10:47She's so mad.
10:49And he's so mine.
10:53Oh.
10:57Where are you?
10:58Today was supposed to be my day.
11:00All day.
11:01I know.
11:02I'm sorry.
11:03How about lunch?
11:04How about...
11:04Forget it.
11:13It's Travis.
11:15Hello?
11:16Yes, this is Coach Alder.
11:19What?
11:20Jen?
11:21Yeah, she's here.
11:22What's the second?
11:23He used to be my right-hand man.
11:26My tight-hand squeeze.
11:27But now, his heart is somewhere else.
11:30Or maybe with someone else.
11:38So, are you guys going on a date?
11:41Yeah.
11:41Uh-huh.
11:42Cool.
11:44Here.
11:45Now we're twinsies.
11:47Sweet.
11:48Thanks.
11:51Oh, come on.
11:53She found two matching pairs of really cool shades.
11:56Doesn't make her a shoplifter.
11:57Fine.
11:58If you refuse to see the truth, I'll just have to prove it.
12:11Yellow.
12:12So, how's the day-long date going?
12:14It's not.
12:15He blew me off again.
12:16Travis is cheating on me.
12:18I know it.
12:19And I am so going to bust him.
12:21Hello?
12:22Jumped to conclusions much?
12:23Trust me.
12:24Stalking is a seriously bad idea.
12:27Whatever.
12:28What's with the music?
12:29Where are you?
12:32Huh.
12:33Well, look who's stalking now.
12:35What?
12:35I'm just waiting for Jade to lift another present for Gonzy.
12:39So I can prove I'm right.
12:44Well, I'm going in.
12:46Over and out.
12:48Travis, over here.
12:49Me first.
12:50Just one test.
12:51Do your fans need to know.
12:52Do I have a word?
12:53Jim.
12:54Jimerton?
12:54For the news?
12:56When you're not in training, who do you hang around with?
13:00Who do I hang around with?
13:02That's right.
13:03What's her name?
13:04Ah.
13:05My eye.
13:07Travis, over here.
13:08Can you see me?
13:09Over here.
13:10Over here.
13:11How's your eye?
13:15Hey, guys.
13:17One hour to daytime.
13:18You're not wearing that, are you?
13:20Why wouldn't I?
13:22Because you're going on a first date?
13:23With Caitlin?
13:25She's all about the styling.
13:28Aw, man.
13:29I'm out of quarters.
13:31And parental coinage.
13:33Aw, I knew a date was a bad idea.
13:35Come on.
13:35You're just a shirt, brush, and a free sample of cologne away from being totally locked and loaded.
13:40I need a coffee.
13:41I need a coffee.
13:49Great.
13:50See you at the fountain at six.
13:54Hey.
13:55He's meeting the other woman at six.
13:56I bet it's that sleazy waitress.
13:59Talk to him already.
14:00Stalking always backfires.
14:02And don't just hang up on me.
14:10I'm going somewhere?
14:12To the cash register?
14:13Oh, yeah.
14:14I'm so sure.
14:15The jig's up, Jade.
14:16You're coming with me.
14:17I'm going to introduce you to a rent-a-cop who will scare you straight.
14:24Ron, Jade was trying to steal this.
14:26You're the one holding it.
14:27No, no, only because I took it away from her.
14:30Blaming your misdeeds on this sweet, innocent, golden child?
14:35Pathetic.
14:36What?
14:37No, no, no, no.
14:39Trust me.
14:39She's been stealing stuff all week from my boyfriend.
14:41My boyfriend.
14:43You're going downtown, Missy.
14:45Way downtown.
14:47And you.
14:49Stay adorable.
14:51What?
14:51Come on, I'm innocent.
14:53She set me up.
14:55Hey, brah.
14:55Do you have any of that money the parental's left for us?
15:00Uh, no.
15:02Bummer.
15:03We kind of need it to, like, eat and stuff.
15:06How long can you go without food?
15:17Oh, hey, Caitlin.
15:20Wyatt.
15:20Oh, you look so nice.
15:25Is that cologne?
15:28Yeah, indefensible for men.
15:30Too much?
15:33Shall we go in?
15:40This is the Jonester.
15:42I need you to come bail me out.
15:43No can do.
15:44Making the course nice and purdy for the next singles night.
15:47Yeah, well, I'm in jail because a ten-year-old has a crush on you.
15:50On second thought, this can wait.
15:52I'll be right there.
15:54It's not you, it's me.
15:56Well, actually, it is you.
16:05So...
16:07So...
16:07So, why the breakup restaurant?
16:10Are you trying to tell me something?
16:12No, just a classic case of self-sabotage.
16:15Wanna pay up and head to the mini-golf course now?
16:17Anything but this.
16:22It's almost six.
16:24Time to go to the fountain and catch Travis in the act.
16:30Stupid sipper.
16:32No time.
16:35One night in shining armor coming up.
16:38Hey, where's Ron?
16:39He's on patrol and I have his keys.
16:42Great, so you can let Nicky out.
16:44That's gonna cost you.
16:46Man, you don't miss a trick.
16:47Okay, I'll give you anything you want.
16:50I want you to be my boyfriend.
16:52Anything but that.
16:54Okay, okay, I'll be your boyfriend.
16:56What?
16:56Woo!
16:57I've got a boyfriend.
16:59I've got a boyfriend.
17:02How am I gonna get out of this?
17:04Ahem.
17:05I'm the one in jail, remember?
17:09It's not what it looks like.
17:11Okay, it's sort of what it looks like.
17:13Jade stole your keys.
17:14She set us up.
17:16Stop blaming everything on that cutie patootie, you cockroaches.
17:20Hey, security cameras don't lie.
17:30You gotta admit, the kid is gifted.
17:34It appears I owe you an apology.
17:39Clearly, she's a pro.
17:41I'll settle for you letting me out.
17:44Have you ever wondered what makes a golf green so green?
17:49Let's do this.
17:58Um, did you feel any sparks?
18:01Maybe we should try again.
18:06Aren't you into me anymore?
18:08I wasn't into you the first time we kissed.
18:10I thought I was with that redhead from Huntington's.
18:12And I thought I was with Bradford.
18:14Maybe the only reason we felt sparks is because we thought we were kissing our dream dates.
18:20You mean...
18:21Yeah.
18:21The best kiss ever was all in our heads.
18:24Oh, wow.
18:25No offense, but what a relief.
18:28Yeah.
18:30Worst date ever.
18:39Can we finish the interview later?
18:44Was that you in the reporter costume before?
18:46Why are you spying on me?
18:48You kept blowing me off and I might have a teensy problem with paranoia.
18:53This isn't working, Jenny.
18:55I can do better, I swear.
18:56I just need you to give me a little attention.
18:59I know, but I don't know when I'm ever going to have time for us.
19:02And that's totally not fair to you.
19:05Then I guess it's over.
19:09Ah, Jenny.
19:16See ya.
19:18Sure.
19:19Absolutely.
19:21Don't cry.
19:23Whatever you do, don't...
19:33My first real relationship.
19:37And I missed it all.
19:41At least now you know never to date a celebrity.
19:44They're so self-absorbed.
19:49Go on.
19:50Tell them, brah.
19:52I kind of used our eating money to buy your gifts.
19:56So, I need to return them and get the money back.
20:00I was just starting to break them in.
20:02Want to play mini-golf later?
20:04Nah, I kind of got canned when they found out about the make-out golf.
20:07Fired again?
20:08What is that, like, 86 times now?
20:11Ugh, sorry, Jonesy.
20:13I think I need a more stable boyfriend.
20:16It's over.
20:17Whoa!
20:18Whoa-ho-ho-ho-ho!
20:19You guys were going out?
20:21Like another breakup!
20:24Ha-ha-ha-ha!
20:26He's all yours.
20:27But if I were you, I'd aim a little higher.
20:30She's got a point.
20:32Hey!
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