- 6 hours ago
Gogglebox - Season 27 Episode 16
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00:00Do you know what's this you've got here?
00:01What's what?
00:03Oh, you've got that out of the fridge.
00:05What is it?
00:07It's avocado.
00:09Avocado?
00:10Yeah.
00:10Jesus Christ, I'm going to be moving to Charlton you soon.
00:13I'm not moving to Charlton.
00:15They eat lentils.
00:16We don't eat avocado, do we?
00:18Yeah.
00:19You're just getting it interesting, posh.
00:20No.
00:20I've got avocado in the fridge.
00:27Have you ever done it like that?
00:28Well, I tell you, you would.
00:29Oh, yeah.
00:32Oh, Barcelona.
00:36No, I don't like that this guy's trying to tell me how to eat my dinner.
00:39A what?
00:39Fault fetish.
00:41I had no idea that was a thing.
00:43Remove my britches.
00:44Expose your loins.
00:45I like that.
00:46Oh, Ronnie.
00:50This is weird.
00:51Jeez, he's a mercenary bugger, isn't he?
00:53This is why I don't eat.
00:54That is Dyson with the devil.
00:56Oh, no.
00:57He suffers for his art, doesn't he?
00:59Clearly.
00:59A Bentley Continental.
01:01I think I'd rather call it a Dane, actually, wouldn't you?
01:04Who's been arrested now and for what?
01:08In the week, the BBC announced a new presenting trio on Strictly, we enjoyed lots of great telly.
01:16A blast from the past from Down Under was doing her thing on Eurovision.
01:26I mean, for Australia, having Delta Goodrum in here, you know, this is like us putting Adele up.
01:32Why don't we put Adele up?
01:33Because she wouldn't be seen dead at Eurovision, so...
01:36It is shite.
01:39We finally got to see who was first past the post on BBC One.
01:44Please sign in, no relief.
01:45I'm fine if you won the race.
01:47I'm 20,000.
01:48Imagine taking your dad and race across the world.
01:51Sorry.
01:52I mean, you'll find him first.
01:54My dad's probably racing across the world.
01:56He's been racing across the world since 1983.
02:00And there was no escape for dodgy drivers on Channel 5.
02:04Oh, you're flying around!
02:06This is what it is, isn't it?
02:07We finally lock them up.
02:08If I ever got pulled over, I wish I would hope to be there.
02:12I think I'd be stunned like a hamster when they see light.
02:17I think it's normally deers.
02:21Not hamsters.
02:31In Wiltshire...
02:32I've been starting to tackle my man cave, Mary.
02:35And?
02:36And all the stuff from my mother's house.
02:38This is called Family 45 Records.
02:42Giles and his wife, Mary.
02:44That's the most annoying record of all time, Nutty.
02:47What's that?
02:47Manhattan Transfer, Chanson d'Amour.
02:50Oh, dreadful.
02:51Sing it.
02:52Rat-ti-ta-ti-ta.
02:53No.
02:54Rat-ti-ta-ti-ta, Mary.
02:55No, no, it was the most awful record ever.
02:57Chanson d'Amour.
03:00Stop it.
03:00Rat-ti-ta-ti-ta.
03:02Right.
03:02Do you remember it, Mary?
03:03Yeah, I do. I hated it.
03:04How's that come back into our lives?
03:07On Saturday night, the BBC was live from Vienna
03:10for the biggest song contest of the year.
03:13Here, buddy, this is your first ever.
03:14You're originally watching it.
03:16Watch it, buddy. It's your origin.
03:19I don't know why we need so many bloody flags, though.
03:21Well, it's all the countries, isn't it?
03:23I know, but I'm not arsed about all the others.
03:25It's the UK.
03:28It's just the UK.
03:33Do you know you're as old as the Eurovision Song Contest?
03:37Am I?
03:3870 years old, it is.
03:40God bloody hell.
03:42I'm glad I can't remember the first one.
03:44It's bad enough having to sit through this one.
03:48After some stiff competition, it was the UK's chance to shine.
03:53There he is.
03:54Look, Mum, no computer.
03:56Look, Mum, no computer.
03:58Has he got a name, or is he Look, Mum, no computer?
04:01I'm sure he's got a real name.
04:02I don't think he was, like, born that,
04:03and that's not on his birth certificate.
04:05Come on.
04:06Look, Mum, no computer.
04:07Eins, zwei, drei.
04:09Look, Mum, no computer.
04:10Eins, zwei, drei.
04:11Freckens die Deutsch.
04:12This is supposed to be really crazy.
04:14It is.
04:14I've heard it.
04:15It's good.
04:28Oh, we've lost.
04:31Yeah, we've lost.
04:33Put that away for another year.
04:40What the hell?
04:43God, for the UK act, this has gone very Eurovision.
04:46This has.
04:47It's funny, there was a language that I could count in.
04:50It looks like if the two Jedward brothers were one.
04:56Yes!
05:02I'm quite into it.
05:05I'm tried, right?
05:06I think this is a bit avant-garde for me, Mary.
05:09High five, dry, with a slice of pepperoni!
05:13With a slice of pepperoni!
05:16With a slice of pepperoni!
05:18Eh.
05:18I could actually add this to my Spotify.
05:21No.
05:21I'm coming back to life.
05:23High five, dry.
05:25I don't know what's going on here.
05:29I think it might be me.
05:31Am I too old for this?
05:34Cutting in English doesn't cut the mustard.
05:38So sick of munching roly-poly, we're cussed.
05:41Roly-poly, we're fucking cussed up.
05:44You're just seeing words that rhyme, innit?
05:46Yeah.
05:46High five, dry, downy nanny, jumpy, jumpy, jumpy!
05:50High five, dry!
05:52With a slice of pepperoni!
05:53I don't mind this record, but I'd like it to stop now.
05:57He's had enough time.
05:58When I say ice, you say bye!
06:02Ice!
06:03Ice!
06:05Ice!
06:06Ice!
06:07Ice!
06:07Ice!
06:08Ice!
06:08Ice!
06:10Ice!
06:11Ice!
06:19Ice!
06:19I can hear the phone lines buzzing in for this.
06:22Honestly...
06:2312 points everywhere.
06:25Honestly, if I had unlimited minutes on my phone,
06:27I'd be ringing up to vote for this.
06:29You have.
06:30Oh.
06:31Batteries flashed.
06:35In North London...
06:37I'm really nervous.
06:38My friend's organising this thing where we're meeting, like,
06:41a whole bunch of new people.
06:42And I'm a bit nervous.
06:44I've got social anxiety.
06:45And, like, so I want to debut, like, a new laugh.
06:48A new laugh?
06:49So I'm going to try them out.
06:51Tell me which was the best.
06:52Okay?
06:53Sister Samira and Lamani.
06:55I was thinking, like, a silent laugh.
06:57Oh, my days.
06:58Yeah, like, one of these ones.
07:03Yeah.
07:05That's my...
07:06Like, a silent laugh, you know?
07:08You need help.
07:09You need help.
07:10You actually need help.
07:11Can you just be normal?
07:13My normal is...
07:17That's my normal.
07:19I can't do that.
07:21Yeah, definitely don't do that.
07:23I can't open my mouth that big.
07:25I really shouldn't.
07:26There's no ladylike.
07:27On Tuesday night, we were back at the coalface on Channel 4.
07:31Can't have barbecues at minute.
07:33We had bloody Hailstone the other day.
07:35We've been having four seasons in a day.
07:37You don't know what bloody coats are put on.
07:39Oh, man, I can't wait.
07:40I'll get the shorts out, T-shirt, clean up the drum.
07:43Ah, look at Sarah.
07:44She's looking at me like...
07:45The jerk drum's coming out.
07:46Yes, the jerk drum is coming out.
07:48The jerk chicken is coming out, girl.
07:50The first glimpse of sunshine,
07:51and we just want to get outside and barbecue.
07:54Correct, we do.
07:55And I bloody tried that the other day.
07:57It was sunny all the time.
07:59Then everyone came round.
08:01It pissed it down.
08:04You're smashing it, man.
08:07I've never seen Dad so excited about anything.
08:10That's brilliant.
08:11It's just barbecue.
08:12I love it.
08:13What's on the barbecue menu today, then?
08:15So this is going to be a celebration of breakfast.
08:19Oh.
08:20Al, are you watching this?
08:22OK, are you listening?
08:23Yeah.
08:24The full Monty English breakfast, but not as you know it.
08:27No, I don't think people have got the energy, Mary.
08:31You've got to get the barbecue going before you can cook on it.
08:33Yeah, you have to start that up at five in the morning, yeah?
08:36So instead of turning, like, 20 bits of bacon,
08:38use a skewer like that.
08:41Ultimately, you've got one thing to turn instead of 20.
08:43Oh, it's like a little bacon skirt.
08:46Oh, that's sick.
08:47So you're wifting or wafting?
08:49Yeah.
08:50Bada boom, bada boom.
08:52Then when it comes to the sausage, I'm going to do pretty much the same.
08:55Two skewers holding four sausages.
08:56I don't like fat sausages.
08:58I like chipoladas.
08:58But we have an opportunity to add some flavours that sausages absolutely love.
09:04That's onion and sage.
09:06Red onion.
09:07It's always got to be red onion, not white onion.
09:09Oh, not this debate again.
09:10Always red onion.
09:11Sage, honestly, is something I'd never think to use on food.
09:15Like, genuinely, what have you ever used sage?
09:17I've lived it in my life.
09:18A lot of people put the charcoal everywhere.
09:22Yeah, you do.
09:23We don't want that.
09:24We want control.
09:25Oh, there you go, Steve.
09:26You're listening.
09:27Now, if you've got a gas barbecue, really simple.
09:30Turn one side on full whack and then the other side on off.
09:32Why don't you know that?
09:34That's what we've done, Jamie.
09:36Fucking simple.
09:37Gas barbecue.
09:38There's a reason we're not living in caves anymore, Jamie.
09:41With the mushrooms here, take the little stalk in the middle.
09:44Love mushrooms.
09:45I hate mushrooms.
09:46I've never tried a mushroom, actually.
09:48And just cut it off.
09:50Peel the mushrooms.
09:51Who knew you could peel mushrooms?
09:53Oh, yeah.
09:54I love peeling a mushroom like that, Simon.
09:56Really?
09:56So therapeutic.
09:58With the mushrooms, turn those over.
10:01I'm going to take a great cheese halloumi.
10:04We keep forgetting about halloumi, Natty.
10:07We do.
10:08Do you know what?
10:08I'm not asked about halloumi.
10:09I think it's overrated.
10:10I think people just say, oh, yeah, can I have halloumi?
10:14And they're like, really love halloumi.
10:15They don't really.
10:16It's just jumping on a bandwagon.
10:17Just get the coarse side of a grater.
10:20It's kind of chewy, but it's also a little bit oozy.
10:23Grating halloumi.
10:24Never seen that.
10:25Maybe I should grate halloumi.
10:26I've done everything else with it.
10:29Not everything.
10:31As that bacon starts to get crispy.
10:34Yeah, what's going on with the bacon?
10:35You can pick it up.
10:36Look at that.
10:37Come on.
10:38And all the drippings can be brushed over your sausage.
10:42Well, if ever there was a euphemism.
10:47You're taking it one step too far for me, Jamie.
10:49So, look, I love the idea of, like, pushing barbecue to the next level.
10:53So, an egg going into the pepper.
10:55It's very cool.
10:57Peppers were a fry up.
10:58Yeah.
10:59Probably the only thing I'm not loving so far.
11:01OK.
11:01Peppers are for fajitas.
11:03Oh, right.
11:04And fajitas only.
11:05The smell is incredible.
11:08Oh, look at that.
11:09Oh, where did he come from?
11:12What the hell?
11:13Hold on.
11:15Oh, that's the pizza guy.
11:17What's his name?
11:19It's not Donatello Versace.
11:20No, he's close.
11:22Ginnardo?
11:23Go, go, go, go.
11:25A little bit of basil on there.
11:27Yeah.
11:27Beautiful.
11:28You ready to eat?
11:28I am.
11:29Yeah.
11:30Yeah.
11:30If he brought that to the table, I'd say, well, that's all very well, Jamie.
11:34Could I have mine not burned?
11:36Tuck in.
11:37My God, what a breakfast you prepared for me.
11:40Hallelujah.
11:42You'd have a full tin of beans easily with your breakfast, wouldn't you?
11:45Oh, yeah.
11:45And so would you.
11:46I might not both have tins of beans.
11:49Let's buy that barbecue, Mary.
11:51We've got one.
11:52I know, but it's crap.
11:54Is it?
11:55You haven't even tried it yet.
11:56No, I just don't like old things.
11:58Well.
11:59The older I get, the more I want new things, Mary.
12:02What?
12:02That's irony.
12:03I like to buy new, fresh things.
12:06Well, you, too bad.
12:07I've had a lifetime of hand-me-downs, and I'm fed up with it.
12:10I don't want a brand.
12:11I deserve better.
12:12No, you don't deserve.
12:13I deserve better.
12:14You certainly do not.
12:15I deserve one of these, Mary.
12:16You don't.
12:25In Blackpool.
12:26Tell you what, it was bloody melting, that barbecue that we hosted the other night, wasn't it?
12:30Yeah.
12:30I say, wait, me and Ben.
12:32Yeah.
12:32Yeah, not me.
12:33It were all good produce, that and all.
12:36Meat from the butchers.
12:38Food from the fancy supermarket.
12:40Pete and his little sister, Sophie.
12:42Well, the highlight of the whole barbecue for me was, because you were running late, because
12:47you were held up at work, Mum said to Eva, where's Daddy?
12:53And Eva turned around and went, is it Zumba?
12:55Zumba.
12:58Just because Paige goes to Zumba on a Thursday, now everybody goes to Zumba.
13:02It's just the thought of you at Zumba, running late for the barbecue.
13:08I can't make it to the barbecue, I'm just Zumba at the moment.
13:12This week, the strange goings-on continued on Apple TV.
13:16If you looked at it and it says Widow's Bay, you'd think, there's something going wrong
13:22there.
13:22Why is it called a Widow's Bay?
13:24Because all the men die.
13:26Exactly.
13:26So you wouldn't go there, would you?
13:27I wouldn't mind going there, actually.
13:32We've raised free next week.
13:34We've never had so many visitors.
13:36Oh, what's that?
13:38Princess Anne.
13:39What?
13:40How do you know that's Princess Anne?
13:42Oh, sorry, what's she called?
13:45Florence Nightingale.
13:46Exactly.
13:51Country lanes at night time.
13:53Forget it.
13:53It's pretty spooky.
13:58Hello, what's he looking at?
14:02Somebody's in the road.
14:06Old lady.
14:07Oh, no, they're the worst.
14:10Miss?
14:11Oh, no, no, no.
14:13There's something very wrong with that figure, Mary.
14:16Do you need a ride?
14:17Do you need a ride?
14:19Oh, hang on, Tom, no.
14:21Is he for real?
14:24What is that?
14:26She don't look wild.
14:27It's Kate Bush, not her.
14:28Notice.
14:34Yep, reverse.
14:36Bye.
14:37Oh, look at her now.
14:39Oh!
14:40Oh!
14:41Oh!
14:46I can't reverse that quick, either.
14:48He's good, though.
14:52What was that?
14:54Something went down the side of the car.
14:56Oh, no.
15:07She scratched his arm, Soph.
15:09No, he's genuinely frightened, Mary.
15:11He's been touched by a ghoul.
15:13Sounds like the sea hag.
15:15The what?
15:17Your scratch.
15:18The sea hag.
15:19Old fisherman's law.
15:20You heard of it?
15:21Another old law that I've not heard of.
15:24A hag targets lonely sailors and follows them home at night.
15:27She scratches you and she gets some of your skin under her fingernails so she can track you
15:33down like a bloodhound.
15:35She can track him down anywhere now.
15:37She can track him down by the skin under her fingernails.
15:39Imagine having a woman that interested.
15:42To find out more about the sea hag, Mayor Tom popped to Wicks.
15:47Have you ever heard of a hag?
15:49A sea hag?
15:49I have.
15:51She's a cute cat.
15:52I only know the sea hag.
15:56Specifically one that scratches you and then tracks you down.
16:00The look on his face says it's not good.
16:02I would be saying, that face is now alarming me.
16:05Yeah.
16:06Can I tell you again and you do it every face?
16:08Every sailor knows the story of the hag.
16:12Oh, the wood, though.
16:14Every sailor.
16:15He knows a lot, doesn't he?
16:16I don't understand.
16:17How do you die?
16:18No, I don't neither.
16:20If he crawls into your bed and sits on your face,
16:22what?
16:35Look, look, look.
16:37He's getting weak, isn't he?
16:38Yeah.
16:38The scratch is taking effect.
16:43He's bleeding.
16:44The coat's bleeding.
16:48Oh!
16:49He's bleeding even more.
16:50So she'll be able to smell that, man.
16:54Don't fall asleep, Tom.
16:56She'll have you.
16:58Oh!
16:58Oh, God.
17:00Sit up!
17:00Sit up!
17:02Oh, no.
17:03Oh, there she is.
17:04No!
17:04Oh, no!
17:05I mean, look where she's coming up from.
17:07Oh, my God.
17:09Oh, my life.
17:12He can't move.
17:18Oh, look at those nails.
17:20Oh, hang on.
17:25No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
17:27Oh, my God.
17:28She's going to sit on his face.
17:29She's doing it.
17:29She's going to sit on his face.
17:33Oh, my God.
17:35Oh, he's going to recline the chair.
17:43Oh!
17:44Oh!
17:45Oh!
17:45Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
17:49Catapulted her over his shoulder!
17:54Quick, quick, quick.
17:55Shut the door.
17:58Is he getting in the bath?
17:59What good's that going to be?
18:03stop breathing is um a shower curtain sufficient to keep her out i don't know he didn't lock the
18:10door either did he oh lord the head will appear it's not the head i'm worried about
18:25oh oh the smelly can smell her oh he's wretched oh you would be though wouldn't you have an
18:32it's thick oh hey oh what's that it's weak he got her can you kill her oh no oh what
18:47is that is she dead
18:53where is she she's turned into seawater aren't she say what are you thinking about
19:02don't get any funny ideas in there
19:07who would your ideal smother be
19:13nitro with those arse cheeks it'd be quick and painless
19:21hey do you know the other day jenny yeah there was like there's a there was a police fan
19:27speeders you know i think camera something like yeah i'm surprised you weren't being done yet
19:32why best friends jenny and lee you know when you say you go slow yeah i do you do not
19:38you was like
19:39a shit off a fucking rabbit on that in there on your cat you was look at you laughing because
19:45you
19:45know don't you i couldn't even keep up with you what what shit off a rabbit
19:58on sunday night there were more mad mutts on channel five there's no such thing as a bad dog just
20:04a bad
20:05owner quite right he seems to be obsessed by you for some reason well he's the only one in the
20:10family
20:10who is but he's unless you've been feeding him from the tape have you well then you need look no
20:18feather it's cup of gloves what's this silly this is nothing to do you this is how the other doggies
20:24behave not you first up graham's in god's own country well i'm in yorkshire today near barnsley
20:34budgie's from barnsley she is ain't she oh nathan and kathy wow wow look at him got six-year-old
20:43rio
20:44as a puppy oh he's too big isn't he i wouldn't want to feed that i'll tell you couldn't afford
20:50to
20:51no he's a fantastic dog with a strange personality dave with a strange personality our death was
20:57gorgeous come on big lad now a 15 stone adult oh 15 stone i'm not far off
21:08come on come on come on rio he takes some maneuvering about at times come on now big boy
21:14buddy does that he don't want to get out the car he don't want to go out come on rio
21:18no no don't
21:19pancake please he knows this is the vet which one of ours was it was bobby he he knew when
21:25he was at
21:25the vets he didn't like getting out of the car at the vets either no rio please look i don't
21:33think
21:33saying please rio's going to do any good do you no i don't like going to the dentist exactly it's
21:38equivalent yeah i remember i've had to get in and pull you out like this a couple of times yeah
21:42get a filling rio and that's not the only issue what else is there oh god there's more he will
21:51not
21:51walk upstairs for anybody oh golly oh golly he's a pain in the neck isn't he he's stubborn isn't he
21:58that
21:58dog even at home where bedrooms are up them you know what they need they're stainless what for the
22:05dog yeah graham's meeting rio come on at his vet's car park morning come on graham so with rio out
22:15so
22:16what do you do eventually to get him out how does this end come on yeah yeah and then we
22:22drag him
22:22pull him and then he pulls out or to pull him out on the road you are a plava just
22:28down the road
22:29there's another car park oh what is this one that you don't like oh we're using the push and pull
22:35technique now are we oh yeah oh you got there in the end oh my goodness mary poor kathy you
22:42know
22:42think about it she's retired and this is a shit she's having to do here she's on all fours in
22:46the
22:46back of a bilingo yeah not how she planned to spend her retirement today so basically anywhere you go
22:52he just refuses to get out no not really there's one place he will go where's that the pub
22:59that's where i go and that's the pub oh the pub he knows where he's going doesn't he yeah good
23:07lord
23:08look at that straight in there's a spring in his step now there's always dog treats in the pub that's
23:13the thing there is dog treats in the pub you're right there sean ah can I have his usual please
23:20his usual which is what's he getting he's giving him crisps back at the house graham had some pub
23:30treats for rio to get him up the stairs now remember we need to hit this with a bit of
23:35pub energy
23:35pub energy come on pub energy come on everybody give it up come on come on we're doing it now
23:55come on come on come on come on come on go on rio come on you've never been up in
24:04eesop and who would have thought by feeding a dog treats it would actually do what you want
24:08exactly never come across that
24:18no i'm just doing an inquest about this pork pine not here oh yes are you pleased with it
24:23Um, sadly no.
24:25Giles and his wife Mary.
24:27And I'm not being funny nor nothing, Mary, but that is not a proper pork pie.
24:32So what? It's nicer than a pork pie. It's sophisticated.
24:37It's called a pork and pickle pie.
24:39Yes.
24:39Which should immediately send red lights buzzing in anyone's head.
24:46It's soggy.
24:47Oh, you horrible man. Stop touching it. I'm going to take it away.
24:51It's soggy.
24:52If you're ungrateful.
24:53There are a hundred men who would say,
24:56ooh, that's a sophisticated take on a pork pie, Mary.
24:59I'm going to have that. Thank you.
25:01You're not having it again.
25:03On Monday, the police were on patrol again on Channel 5.
25:08I think you'd be quite a good interceptor.
25:10I think if I was the driver and you were giving me directions,
25:13we would intercept a lot of criminals.
25:16Oh, yeah.
25:16If I was the driver and you were giving direction, we'd end up in Wales.
25:20Intercepting a ditch.
25:21Yeah.
25:25Do you know the reason why I couldn't be a police officer?
25:29Too short.
25:29No.
25:31I wouldn't be able to remember my collar number.
25:33That's not a very nice thing to say.
25:37There's a van that's just hit a camera at Alfred Street.
25:41Oh, the old AMPRs triggered off.
25:43What's that?
25:44Automatic number plate recognition.
25:46Get you.
25:48Good work in the police.
25:49It's a comments marker.
25:50I think I put it on a few days ago.
25:52The vehicle's in a bad condition.
25:54Ah.
25:54Uh-oh.
25:55I didn't know Alistair Campbell had joined the police.
25:58It's a white van.
25:59While I was off duty, I noticed that the windscreen was all smashed.
26:03Goes to bed, wearing the badge.
26:05Welly Road.
26:05My sister's shop used to be on there.
26:07Oh, is that where it was?
26:08Yeah.
26:08There we go.
26:08It's her, innit?
26:12After a few minutes, Michael arrives in the area the van last triggered AMPR.
26:17Oh, he's going to find him if it kills him.
26:19Yeah, he's looking.
26:20Yeah, Michael's going to have him.
26:24There it is.
26:25So he lights him up and the chap complies.
26:28Complier day.
26:29OK, so the reason I'm stopping you, obviously your windscreen's smashed.
26:33Oh, how about that before?
26:35It literally happened this morning.
26:36No, it didn't.
26:37Oh, porcupines.
26:39Oh, he's a chancer, ain't he?
26:40Oh, it just happened this morning, that.
26:43Stone on the road.
26:44He's got no MOT and no tax.
26:46No MOT?
26:48I love it, the way he's going.
26:51Are you sure?
26:52I wouldn't say that, you see.
26:54I would say it's a fair cop, Gavin.
26:56You've got me bang to rights.
26:58Right, cos your tax is expired and it's out of date by three months or more.
27:03It gives us the power to seize your vehicle.
27:05Take it, it's smashed anyway.
27:06I'd give him it and say, yeah, take it mate.
27:09While the driver gathers his things.
27:12Michael's going to have them for fly tipping in a minute.
27:14I think so.
27:15Handbrake don't work, does it?
27:17Of course.
27:17It does not work.
27:19The handbrake don't work.
27:20Oh, what the hell have he been doing?
27:23There's nothing on that at all.
27:25That's the handbrake.
27:27Or it's not the handbrake.
27:29Yeah.
27:29It's like Fred Flintstone's car.
27:31Yeah.
27:32Is it a start now?
27:34How's the van start?
27:35It's got to wiggle it a bit, lad.
27:37Yeah.
27:37Shake it.
27:38Give it a jimmy and then right to left and the engine will start.
27:41Yeah.
27:42Oh, my God.
27:43It's a shed on bloody wheels, that thing.
27:45So, those are the details you need to give to get your vehicle back.
27:48All right?
27:49Thanks very much.
27:49All right?
27:50Good luck to you.
27:51Have a nice day.
27:52Huh?
27:52Our policies require them to have a valid MOT and tax.
27:56Oh.
27:57He's got a hat trick here.
27:59His mate, he was driving.
28:00Yeah.
28:01So, I was saying that the vehicle is taxed and MOT'd.
28:03If it is not, it immediately invalidates his cover.
28:06You know, he's like, yes, yes, yes, yes.
28:08So, he's not insured now.
28:10Oh, my God.
28:11The driver pleaded guilty to no insurance, no MOT and driving a dangerous vehicle.
28:17What does he get, then?
28:17He got six points on his license and over £1,700 in fines.
28:22£1,700 in fines.
28:25Shit, a brick.
28:27It's more than the van's worth.
28:32You can just have the van offset it against the van.
28:34I'm going to par-text the van on my vines.
28:39In the Cotswolds.
28:40Oh, my God.
28:42The tiredness in my body knows no bounds today.
28:44Well, the tiredness in his body, but he's to blame.
28:47He's completely to blame.
28:49I don't know what that was about until 4.30 in the morning last night.
28:53Andrew and his husband, Alfie.
28:55You literally up all night with him?
28:56Yes, pretty much.
28:57Okay, this is not funny, Pablo.
28:59Yeah, I need a nap, kid. Excuse me.
29:00Pablo.
29:01Hello?
29:01Wake up.
29:02I'm not surprised he's like that.
29:04Pablo?
29:05Are you interested in watching television?
29:07Earth to Pablo.
29:08Not happening.
29:10That should be me.
29:12On Friday, it was all eyes on Burnham and a by-election on BBC News.
29:18He should come out.
29:20Go on, go on out.
29:21He ain't there, ain't?
29:22He is.
29:22What are you flipping about with?
29:24He's not there.
29:25In Southern Ireland, there is such a small community that the news is genuinely interesting.
29:32And they would have somebody on saying,
29:35a woman's car broke down in Blanchardstown yesterday at three o'clock and a very kind
29:44man stopped and helped her to get it going again.
29:47When she got home, she found his jacket in the back of the car.
29:51She's no idea what his name was.
29:54If you're watching, would you come forward?
29:57And then by the end of the programme, the man whose car it was would have rung in.
30:01Yes.
30:02Do they all speak as if they've got a Jamaican accent?
30:05Jamaicans and Irish are very similar.
30:09Good evening and welcome to the BBC News at six.
30:12A lorry driver parked his car on O'Connell Street yesterday, just left it for a minute.
30:17But while he was gone, somebody stole his mobile phone with his last pictures of his daughter on them.
30:23Would you give it back?
30:25The Mayor of Greater Manchester, Andy Burnham, has tonight been given permission by Labour's ruling body,
30:31the National Executive Committee, to stand in the Makerfield by-election.
30:36Which is what he was hoping for.
30:37It's happening.
30:38Because he can't go for Prime Minister if he isn't an MP.
30:40Yeah, it's a bit tricky, that one.
30:42After he was blocked from taking part in another by-election earlier this year.
30:46Oh, he was, yeah, that's right.
30:48He would have won there as well.
30:49Yeah, blocked him.
30:49Team Burnham, so we want him doing all right across the country.
30:53The Labour MP, Josh Simons, announced he was stepping down yesterday to give Andy Burnham
30:57a chance to make it back to the Commons.
31:00Don't you find it all quite creepy and weird, this?
31:02Because the chap's had to give up, hasn't he?
31:04Said, right, I'll give up and you can stand in my seat.
31:07Yeah.
31:07Allowing him then to challenge Sir Keir Starmer for the leadership.
31:11Yeah, but he has to win that seat.
31:13He's not guaranteed, is he?
31:14No, no.
31:15Of course he'll win that seat.
31:17He's the king of the North.
31:19Get ready for an almighty by-election race.
31:22Oh dear.
31:23They're a bit smaller shorts, aren't they?
31:25Andy Burnham has been given the green light to apply to be Labour's candidate.
31:29He's doing the old Boris Johnson method, running in tiny shorts.
31:34It worked for him.
31:35I don't know if it did.
31:37I'd be fuming if someone caught me like that, honestly.
31:40You've got to give it to him though, his calves are really good.
31:43Are they not?
31:44Look at them.
31:47The mayor of Greater Manchester is popular with Labour's left.
31:50Well, he's popular with that one man.
31:51Good to see you, man.
31:52Yeah.
31:53He got one.
31:53It's quite a feat to nail a handshake on an escalator going the other way.
31:58We think he could turn things around for the government and could soon be challenging Keir
32:02Starmer for the keys to Downing Street.
32:05I think Burnham's done a decent job around Manchester.
32:08He stopped the congestion charging.
32:09That's good enough for me.
32:10That would have cost a silly money every day.
32:12Now he made the buses better.
32:14The Prime Minister wants you to think he's getting on with the job.
32:17Ah, wants you to think he's getting on with the job.
32:20He really wants you to think that, yeah.
32:21But actually, the economic indicators over the last few weeks are bloody good.
32:26The country GDP had gone up and waiting times on the NHS had gone down.
32:32So it's like just quietly getting on with it.
32:34There's a lot of stuff that needs fixing.
32:35Do we really need to be messing about with a bloody leadership change?
32:38No.
32:38We don't, do we?
32:39I don't think.
32:40In Makerfield today, Labour were out campaigning already.
32:43You'd be buzzing if you were from Makerfield, wouldn't you?
32:45Putting your town on map.
32:46Be a chance to get your head on telly.
32:48Exactly.
32:49You'd be up and down High Street, wouldn't you, all the time?
32:51Trying to get someone to throw a mic at you so you can give an opinion.
32:55Including Josh Simons, the man who's standing down to give Andy Burnham a route back into Parliament.
33:01It depends on how many people turn out on the day, how much they're interested.
33:04But saying that, this is building up a lot of interest in it.
33:06So people will come out to vote now, won't they?
33:08Hopefully.
33:08Because this could be like country changing leadership.
33:10A bumpy week for Labour, the government and the country is unlikely to be the last.
33:15I just think, are we ever going to have a Prime Minister do the full term that they've been elected
33:22for?
33:23It'd be nice, wouldn't it?
33:24It'd be nice for a change, yeah.
33:25The pound is plummeting and they're going to throw the country into disarray when there's a global stage we should
33:31be standing on.
33:32And yes, Keir Starmer is boring, but it's early on, just let him get on with it, because no one
33:38else at this stage is going to make it any better.
33:40No, they're not. They're going to probably make it worse.
33:51In Blackpool.
33:52Hey, Soph, you know how Paige's been begging me to get rid of the three-wheel van out of the
33:56garage?
33:57Have you sold it?
33:58No. No, she's never getting sold.
34:00But I've been able to put it in a lock-up.
34:04Pete and his little sister Sophie.
34:06I've managed to get it in the back of a long-wheelbase transit van.
34:09Jesus Christ.
34:10Almost like a Russian doll set up.
34:12Straight in the back of a van.
34:14Van in a van.
34:15Yeah.
34:15So we lifted it straight in, it was dead easy.
34:19But to get it out, we thought, oh, well, we'll just roll it out.
34:22So we put the two planks either side to wheel it out, only we'd forgotten that it was three wheels.
34:28Yeah, what about the middle wheel?
34:30Well, that's for pushing it out the back of the van.
34:34Oh, no.
34:35It just went...
34:38On Thursday night, the end was in sight for these backpackers on BBC One.
34:42Watch out, Ben.
34:44Beep, beep.
34:45Race across the world.
34:46Sit.
34:47It's now not race across the world, so it's the final race.
34:50Final race across the world.
34:53Across the world.
34:56I mean, could you imagine me doing race across the world, Steve?
34:59Ah.
35:00I'd have to get taxis everywhere, and then where would I...
35:04Taxi?
35:05Limo?
35:05Let's do this, ma'am.
35:065am.
35:07Departing as race leaders for the second time...
35:10Thank you so much.
35:11...Jo and Kush.
35:12Brown's dizzy, isn't it?
35:14This is the last leg now, isn't it?
35:15Last leg.
35:16Do you know these are real good mates, these, so...
35:19Yeah, they are.
35:19They've got each other through it, I think.
35:21Hot girl.
35:22Let's go.
35:25Hot girl.
35:26Hot girl.
35:27Hot girl, where the hell's that?
35:29Mongolia.
35:30The boys plan to swing east, taking a chance on connections
35:34from the capital to Mongolia's second largest city, Erdene.
35:38That's the route I'd take.
35:39The train?
35:41Well, where you're well connected.
35:43It's a bit like sometimes you've just got to go into London to get back out.
35:46Exactly.
35:47Do you know what I mean?
35:47Yeah.
35:48Try another overnight train to Erdene.
35:51What the hell?
35:52Oh, oh, oh, what's the matter?
35:53Don't tell me they're all cancelled.
35:55What are you thinking?
35:55There's no trains we can get for now.
35:57No trains they can get tonight.
35:59God.
36:00Did you get a bus?
36:01A bus?
36:02Autobus?
36:03Unbus?
36:04Make me.
36:07No?
36:08A train ticket.
36:09Only train ticket.
36:10This is really a case of computer says no nutty, isn't it?
36:14Yeah.
36:14They've dropped a bollock here, so this could be the difference
36:17between winning or losing this, you know.
36:18Andrew and Molly have pushed into the lead by arriving into Tetsam Lake.
36:23Oh, they've gone the other route.
36:24Okay, they've overtaken them.
36:27Yeah.
36:27This is going to be close.
36:28Can we ask you a really important question?
36:30We need to get to Jaggerland.
36:32Jaggerland?
36:33They are enlisting the help of guest house owner and tour operator, Murray.
36:37Oh, now that's clever.
36:38A tour operator, he's going to know what he's doing, doesn't he?
36:42Andrew and Molly, Jami, aren't they?
36:44Landed right on their feet with him, haven't they?
36:46That's it there.
36:47That is Jaggerland.
36:48Okay.
36:48Yeah.
36:49How are they?
36:50That's Jaggerland?
36:51Yes.
36:51So is that.
36:52How many Jaggerlands are there?
36:53Oh, there's loads of them.
36:54What, all the same name?
36:56Yeah.
36:56Throughout Mongolia, it's common for places to share the same name,
37:01Jaggerland being especially popular.
37:03There's loads.
37:05Well, how do you know which bleeding Jaggerland you're going to go?
37:08Well, I suppose you've got to go for the one in the middle.
37:11Middle Jaggerland.
37:11Yeah, it's that middle one.
37:12Take me direct to middle Jaggerland.
37:14You're not going to go over to the right, are you?
37:15Fuck right, Jaggerland.
37:19Oh, my goodness.
37:21This is travelling game.
37:23Oh, my God, look at that road.
37:25Well, that's a bone shaker, isn't it?
37:27Tracy, you'd be sick as a dog.
37:29Oh, yeah, very in the middle of nowhere.
37:31Andrew and Molly have arrived in Jaggerland.
37:34Oh, they're there.
37:35Jaggerland.
37:36Here we go.
37:36I'm in the middle of nowhere.
37:38How are you talking about the beginning?
37:40Jarland, it's a bit.
37:41What do you want?
37:44Yeah.
37:44I hope this is the right Jaggerland.
37:45So do I.
37:46I don't know, Jarland, stay.
37:48Well, I'll give you the wrong one.
37:50Oh!
37:51Oh, no!
37:53It's took him to the wrong one.
37:54It's took him to the wrong one.
37:55No!
37:56Well, I mean, there was five.
37:57It's easy done.
37:59Where is he?
38:00I don't understand.
38:02I mean, I don't understand either,
38:03but I know you're in the wrong frigging place.
38:05We pointed to the right one, I think, on the map last night.
38:09This is where the blame game starts now.
38:11The dad's that mad.
38:12He's just gone silent.
38:14She's the mouthpiece in this.
38:15He's gone nonverbal.
38:16Are we in the wrong one?
38:18You guys pointed to the map.
38:19That's where we want to go.
38:20You know what?
38:21You won't be the first.
38:22You won't be the last.
38:22Let's mix up your Jaggerlands.
38:23Surely now they have to rethink what they're doing.
38:26They can't be staying in Jaggerland anymore.
38:28No, no.
38:29Jaggerlands, no go now.
38:31They'll have to go to Jaggerland instead.
38:32Yeah.
38:35Later in the programme, after getting things back on track,
38:38both teams were closing in on the finish line.
38:42Let's go.
38:44Let's go.
38:45I'll see you, Katie.
38:46I'm coming in!
38:47Right, come on!
38:49Who's in front?
38:50Is that the end?
38:50Molly and Andrew.
38:51I can't tell.
38:52No, no.
38:53I can't tell.
38:54I think it's Joe and Chris, Jane.
38:55This is it, bro.
38:57Oh, it's their leader nearly there.
38:59Oh, they're the best team win.
39:01Come on.
39:02I think that's it.
39:03I think that's it.
39:04I think that's the boys.
39:05That's the boys.
39:05It's the boys, are they first?
39:07Well, let's see.
39:08We're now in the book.
39:09If you open that book and there's another name in it,
39:11you'd be sick, wouldn't you?
39:12You've successfully reached the finish line.
39:14Please sign in, no relief.
39:15I'm fine if you won the race.
39:17Yeah, but are they the first?
39:18Who's the first?
39:19Who's first?
39:20Oh, turn it over.
39:21I know, it's killing me, the suspension.
39:23I know, yeah.
39:24Come on.
39:25Three, two, one.
39:28Big one.
39:31Oh, fantastic, boys!
39:34Oh, my God!
39:37Young one.
39:38No!
39:39Well, they deserve to win, now.
39:40Well, you need to sign it first, you cretins.
39:43Yeah, because someone could come up behind you while you're larking around.
39:46I think if I would have won £10,000 at 19 years old,
39:53it would have been blown in River Island and on Jagerbots.
39:58I feel sorry for Joe and Cush here, because there's not going to be a weather spoon round there to
40:02celebrate.
40:03It's so exciting.
40:07In Leeds...
40:07I'm practising my waitress skills.
40:10Look.
40:10Daniella, you're stressing me out.
40:12Why?
40:12Keep it sensible.
40:13Oh, God, you know what?
40:14You ruin all the fun.
40:15I don't ruin the fun.
40:16I just like to play it safe.
40:18Best friends, Daniella and Daniella.
40:21Show me.
40:21How would you cover them?
40:23Show me.
40:23You only had two.
40:25And a mug.
40:26So, you hold it like that, and then you see these two here, that's a stable...
40:31Yeah?
40:32Oh, piss off.
40:39On Sunday night, a bunch of Gen Zs were swapping their lives for something completely different on Channel 5.
40:46If somebody took off an outlet and they'd love it, they wouldn't want to go back to the normal life.
40:50They're likely being a lazy bastard.
40:57Is this that film with that man in it where the chain plays it?
41:02No, well.
41:03If you had to trade places, then with the...
41:06Who would you trade places with?
41:09With Nitro's wife.
41:12Jesus, huh?
41:14Yeah.
41:14You didn't take long enough to think about that.
41:17No.
41:17That was instantaneous, that was.
41:18Yeah, I know.
41:19Bang!
41:20Yeah.
41:22Steeped in history and tradition,
41:26Christ College Brecon is among the most prestigious boarding schools in the country.
41:30It's so prestigious, we haven't heard of it, yeah.
41:31I think it's quite prestigious in Wales.
41:35And it's about to welcome three new students who'd written school off.
41:39This is like the real life borders.
41:41Yeah.
41:41I'm not an academic person at all.
41:43I get easily distracted.
41:45That's like me.
41:47I like to question authority.
41:49If I don't understand why you're telling me to do something, I'm just not going to do it.
41:52Wow, this is going to be interesting.
41:53I love these shows, man.
41:55That's going to go down well in the private school.
41:58I used to get in trouble just from talking too much.
42:00Me too.
42:01Yeah, I'm like all of these children in the back of this car.
42:04Just all mixed into one.
42:06They're going to mix with people that want to do well.
42:08Which might brush off.
42:10Exactly.
42:11Christ College is run by headmaster, Mr Pearson.
42:14He looks rather fierce.
42:16A no-nonsense former Royal Marine.
42:18Oh, bloody hell.
42:20Who leads the school with a cast-iron belief in the Brecon Way.
42:23People are like dogs.
42:25Dogs need to be trained and disciplined and punished,
42:28and people need to be punished too if they're not working.
42:31For a prospective family looking to buy this education,
42:34that could be a £250,000 over five or six years. A lot of money.
42:38What? How much?
42:41£50,000? That's more than me house is worth.
42:44You'll come here for breakfast, lunch and supper.
42:47Breakfast is quite early, by the way.
42:487.30.
42:497.30am?
42:51Yeah, a.m. It's breakfast.
42:53She's literally doing the maths.
42:54She's like, I'm going to have to get up at 4am so I can get my edges laid.
42:58The next day, after an early start, it was off to assembly.
43:02Got to be on time.
43:03I'm actually going to die.
43:05I think the discipline might be hard for them.
43:08Shardy, take your coat off.
43:09All right.
43:10Yeah, thank you.
43:10I'll live.
43:11It's just the other one, you'll be the only one.
43:12You don't want to stand out.
43:13I think she does want to stand out.
43:16That is her aim.
43:18Well, can you take your cape off?
43:20I'd be saying you've got a cape on some.
43:23Why is it so formal?
43:24They all come walking in in a straight line.
43:26That would not happen at my school.
43:27She can't understand why the other children are disciplined.
43:30She's never seen disciplined children before.
43:33Yeah.
43:34No-one's like, oh, yeah, yeah, high five on my knees.
43:37Now, you may have noticed that we've got three brave young people
43:40that are going to join us as pupils for the week.
43:44Oh, my God, I'm going to die.
43:46So, in no particular order, we have Shardy.
43:52She's like, wait.
43:54There you go.
43:54There you go.
43:55Do that, boy.
43:56Danny and Molly, do come down.
43:59Oh, my God.
44:00Oh, my God, they're bringing them down.
44:03Oh, put the spotlights on them as well.
44:06Can you go to the front?
44:12You're getting a good reception.
44:14This is what poor children look like.
44:17Please come to the front.
44:21Later on, we saw the visiting students join an English lesson.
44:25We're going to continue our study of Thomas Hardy's poems
44:28that he wrote in the wake of the death of his wife.
44:31Who's that?
44:32I didn't know Thomas Hardy, the actor.
44:35I know a lot about him.
44:37I want you to write on the window or the board
44:41just what stands out to you.
44:42On the window?
44:43I think he's saying he's, like, gone crazy because she's dead.
44:46For Shardia, this way of learning is a game changer.
44:49Is she liking this now?
44:51We were writing on, like, the windows and stuff.
44:53It was different.
44:54No wonder why they get better results in boarding school.
44:57Because they wait on the windows?
44:58No, because they just do a different method.
45:00Ah.
45:00Hardy is tired of feeling the grief of losing Emma.
45:03Go on, Shardia.
45:04Yeah, she's interested now.
45:07However, this is a paradox of grief as he pairs the word with craze,
45:11which contradicts himself.
45:13Fucking hell.
45:13What the heck?
45:15Mate, she's quite clever.
45:17Yeah.
45:18Mic drop.
45:19Michael said, mic drop in front of the teacher.
45:22Yeah, I like that.
45:23Yeah.
45:23I can do this.
45:24I can do this.
45:25I can do this.
45:26Yeah.
45:26In this environment, this suits me, but it costs 50 grand.
45:31Do you know, I love my children.
45:33They have a quarter of a million quid apiece for education.
45:38No, I don't think I do.
45:45And the dancing beat of the bank holiday needs a Jamie barbecue recipe,
45:50like fish tacos or lamb on the coals.
45:52Stream now for inspo.
45:54Now, between faith and feelings,
45:56Keeley Hawes and Papa Essie Adu are wrestling with the tender and the taboo.
46:01Falling.
46:02Stream it now.
46:02First Dates is up next.
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