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The Assembly UK - Season 2 Episode 6 - Rylan
Transcript
00:01Two, 16.
00:02Oh, shit. What are they going to ask me?
00:11I know what's good. Peckermint tea.
00:14Peckermint tea? Yeah, I like that.
00:16I do love a nice tin of fruits.
00:19Tins?
00:19Yeah, I've just got, like, so addicted to them.
00:21Like, you take them out of the tin, and then I'll just drink the juice after.
00:27Reiner.
00:28Hi, everyone. You OK?
00:29Hi, Ryan.
00:29Oh, my God.
00:31How are you?
00:31How are you?
00:32Hello, everyone.
00:34Hi, Ryan.
00:34Hello, hello. How are you? You all right?
00:36Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you.
00:38It's lovely to meet you soon. How are you, Caroline? You all right?
00:41I see your teeth.
00:43I had them all done.
00:44Oh.
00:45I had them all done. They're all veneers.
00:46Really?
00:48Yeah.
00:49OK.
00:52Hello, mate.
00:53I'm Ryan. Nice to meet you.
00:54I heard so much about you.
00:56You're a Scorpio like me. You're born on the 25th of October, 1988.
01:00There we go.
01:00And you was in Big Brother, weren't you?
01:02I was, yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:04Oh, no!
01:16What the fuck are you going to ask me?
01:21I'm trying to say it.
01:24Elijah, would you like to introduce us?
01:31Welcome to the Assembly.
01:32Our collective of autistic, neurodiversion and learning disabled interviewers.
01:36Our rules are no subjects out of bounds, no questions out of the table, and all might happen.
01:42Please tell me who you are.
01:44I'm Rylan, and I'm a TV presenter.
01:47It's nice to meet you.
01:48It's lovely to meet you, too.
01:50First up, Ali.
01:53Let's go.
01:55It's very, uh, very great to meet you, Rylan.
01:59Lovely to meet you, too, mate.
02:01Did you ever consider to have a real suntan?
02:04Ooh!
02:07Ooh!
02:08That's amazing!
02:09Well...
02:12I don't want to ruin anyone's fun, but I've got no tan on.
02:17Really?
02:18This is real.
02:19This colour is real.
02:20I've not worn fake tan for about a year.
02:23OK.
02:24I can't do another summer where I'm hot, sweating...
02:27Oh, yeah.
02:28..and tan is coming off on my clothes.
02:30OK.
02:30So I just thought, embrace the ginge in me, and I'm just going for it.
02:34It's your right.
02:35Nobody will judge that.
02:39Nicola.
02:44Um, I know it's personal.
02:46There we go.
02:47I know you're gay.
02:49Yeah.
02:51My mum's gardener is gay.
02:54OK.
02:56What's his name?
02:57His name is Matt.
02:58Matt.
03:02Good for Matt.
03:04Is he a good gardener?
03:05Oh, yeah.
03:06Oh, he's good?
03:07I mean, no.
03:09No.
03:09But I'm quite precise with things, so I've got a pond.
03:12A pond?
03:12Literally, a couple of days ago, I put a load of lights all around the pond.
03:16You mean, like, um, solar lights around the garden?
03:19Oh, no, they're not solar.
03:20They're plug-in.
03:21They're plug-in lights?
03:22I've sorted out all, like, timers.
03:23Oh, that's nice.
03:24I get excited about things like that.
03:25OK.
03:26But I'm sure Matt's probably very much a better gardener than I am.
03:29Yeah.
03:30Thank you, Nick.
03:36That's not your own real name.
03:37Your own name might as well.
03:38Ross?
03:39Yeah.
03:39That's my real name.
03:40You can call me Ross if you want.
03:44Cameron.
03:46When you told your husband you cheated on him, he divorced you.
03:50Oh, wow.
03:51Is honesty always the best policy?
03:53Oh, yeah.
03:57Yeah, I think it is.
03:59Um, I'm okay admitting when I'm in the wrong because, actually, I don't deal well with guilt and I don't
04:08deal well with secrets.
04:11Um, it made me so ill.
04:14Like, so ill.
04:16Like, so ill.
04:17And it sounds a terrible thing to say, but I'm glad it happened.
04:21What do you miss about Dan, if anything?
04:29Do you know I never think about him?
04:31Really?
04:32Mm.
04:32So this is like, like, my whole body just went like, I miss feeling like I've got it all.
04:45I thought I had life done.
04:47Yeah.
04:47I've got the job.
04:48I've got the family.
04:50I've got the marriage.
04:51I've got the car.
04:52I've got the house.
04:53I thought I had it sussed.
04:57I didn't have anything sussed.
05:00I didn't know what was a real relationship.
05:08And I can look back now and know that I don't regret anything.
05:13I don't regret anything.
05:15So I'll leave that up to your imagination.
05:25Joseph.
05:26I love your shirt, Joseph.
05:28Thank you so much.
05:29Yeah, you look great yourself.
05:30Oh, thank you, mate.
05:33My brother is about 15 years older than me.
05:37We were never really close.
05:39And I feel like when I was younger, he used to always make me feel I was never up to
05:44his standards.
05:46I'm curious, how was your relationship with your older brother?
05:51My brother was 15 years older than me as well.
05:55And I didn't have my dad.
05:57My mum and dad were never together.
05:58Oh.
05:59So I grew up with just my mum.
06:00But because my brother was so much older, he sort of became like that dad figure for me.
06:07Oh, I see.
06:07My mum's got Crohn's disease, so sometimes my mum weren't always well.
06:11So, like, sometimes in the summer, because he was older than me, he'd take me on holiday rather than, like,
06:17my mum or what a dad would normally do.
06:21It warms my heart to hear that.
06:22What's your relationship like with your brother now?
06:24Um, I mean, we're on better terms.
06:27I'm glad you are.
06:27Hopefully, it's still the same after this episode goes out.
06:30Yeah, you will be.
06:31You will be.
06:32Listen, that shirt, if you wanted to be in your best books, just to borrow it.
06:35So, you're going to be fine.
06:36It was nice to meet you.
06:37It's really lovely to meet you.
06:39It really, really is.
06:41What a nice guy.
06:44Jelani, you're up.
06:46Hi, Jelani.
06:47Hi.
06:48How are you, mate?
06:48I'm fine.
06:49Good, good.
06:51What secret things do you have in your bedside table?
06:55Oh!
06:57Oh!
06:58Oh!
07:04Careful what you say.
07:06Fragrance oil.
07:08So, I can smell nice in bed if my partner's there.
07:12Oh!
07:13Um, other things.
07:16Who goes with that?
07:17What's in your bedside?
07:18Oh!
07:19Yeah, not nice, is it?
07:21Oh, no!
07:22Oh, no!
07:23Oh, no!
07:24Oh, no!
07:24Oh, no!
07:25Oh, no!
07:25Oh, no!
07:25Oh, no!
07:25Oh, no!
07:29What's in your bedside, Calvin?
07:32Sean.
07:34You said he never met your dad?
07:37No, I met him when I was young.
07:41The last time I ever saw him,
07:43I got excluded from school for having a fight.
07:46And my mum was...
07:47My mum was really happy that I finally hit back.
07:50Wow.
07:50She took me to get a McDonald's.
07:54And we were walking through town centre,
07:56and even though I hadn't seen him since I was, like, five-ish,
08:00I went, Mum, that's Daddy.
08:03She went, what?
08:03I went, that's Daddy.
08:07Do you still love your dad?
08:13I feel like he weren't a dad.
08:18He was never a dad to me.
08:21He's dead now.
08:22I found out he died a few years back.
08:27I love him for bringing me into the world with my mum.
08:33Yeah.
08:33And giving me my mum and my family that I'm fully aware of.
08:37But I don't love him as a dad.
08:39OK.
08:40I get you.
08:43And now, we've got Jacob.
08:46Hello again.
08:47Come on, Jacob.
08:49How do you cope when one of your celebrity friends is cancelled?
08:59It's really tough.
09:05Especially because, like, some of them are not just, like, my work friends.
09:10They're genuinely, like, close friends.
09:18At the end of the day, if someone's done something wrong,
09:22then I understand why they can't carry on doing what they're doing.
09:26But I do feel today that we live in a world where
09:30people will want to go for you and cancel you
09:33for the sake of just doing it because they can.
09:37Don't always believe what you hear or read.
09:40Don't be frightened to ask why.
09:50Thank you, Ryland. Good interviewing you.
09:52Thank you, mate.
09:58God, this is like a lucky dip.
10:00You just don't know what's coming next, do you?
10:02I don't know.
10:03Yes.
10:13I'm so glad I did this.
10:16But, yeah.
10:16That's really nice.
10:17It was, like, the dang questions.
10:19I was like...
10:19I don't even say his name.
10:25Essin, you're up.
10:26Hi.
10:28I'm Essin.
10:29Hello, babe.
10:30I've had to come out twice, once as a gay man
10:34and once as a transgender woman.
10:37What was your coming-out story like?
10:40Oh, my coming-out story was just so ridiculous
10:43and it didn't even need to be.
10:46One day I was round a friend of mine,
10:48and her mum pretty much knew,
10:51and my mum come and picked me up.
10:53Yeah.
10:54The second I sat in the car,
10:56I don't know how to describe it,
10:57but this feeling came over me.
10:59You know when you go completely cold?
11:00Yeah.
11:01And you feel like,
11:01not just, like, my stomach,
11:03but, like, my heart,
11:03everything is going like that.
11:05Not planned.
11:06I thought,
11:07I'm going to tell my mum I'm gay.
11:09We pulled up on my driveway
11:11and she went,
11:11are you getting out?
11:12And I went,
11:13Mum, there's something I've got to tell you.
11:15And she looked at me and went,
11:16what?
11:16And I went...
11:18And she went,
11:19for fuck's sake, Ross,
11:20and just got out the car.
11:24So she thought I was just having a bit of a joke with her.
11:26I rung my friend quickly,
11:27and I was like,
11:28you need to get your mum
11:29to ring my mum
11:30to tell her I'm gay.
11:33So I'm in the car,
11:34on the phone to my friend,
11:36and in the background,
11:37I can hear her mum calling my house phone
11:39that I can hear out of this here,
11:41and with my mum inside.
11:43And then I hear my friend's mum go,
11:45no, Linda, no.
11:48And my heart just sank.
11:50So I opened the car door and run away.
11:54And I was just sat in this field like,
11:55my mum's going to disown me,
11:57oh, my God,
11:58this is it.
11:58My life will never be the same again.
12:00And then after about two hours,
12:02I was like,
12:02drowned wet,
12:03and I was just like, fuck this,
12:04I'm going home.
12:04So I went home.
12:05My mum went, you all right?
12:06I went, yeah,
12:08do you want to talk about it?
12:08I went, no.
12:09Should I do all right then?
12:10That was it.
12:11I then rung my friend,
12:12and I said,
12:13why did I hear your mum go,
12:14no, Linda, no.
12:14She went, because my mum's reaction was,
12:16tell me he's not got a girl pregnant.
12:22So actually,
12:23I think she was quite relieved.
12:25Yeah.
12:30All right, Timmy, you all right, mate?
12:31All right.
12:32You look really dapper.
12:33Really dapper.
12:34I love your suit.
12:35All right.
12:36When my mum is crying,
12:37I play her all by myself.
12:40by Mariah Carey,
12:41to cheer her up.
12:43What cheers you up?
12:46All Saints, Pure Shores.
12:49That song is my favourite song of all time.
12:53If you're happy,
12:54you can listen to that song.
12:56Yes.
12:57If you're sad,
12:58you can listen to that song.
12:59It is, in my opinion,
13:01the perfect song.
13:02It just makes me feel good.
13:06That's my song,
13:07to cheer myself up.
13:08Yes.
13:10Right.
13:10Thank you, Timmy.
13:12Mikey,
13:13take it away.
13:14Hi, I'm Mikey.
13:15Hi, Mikey.
13:15Nice to meet you.
13:16And you, babe.
13:17Just to let you know,
13:18Mum, if this offends you,
13:20I'm sorry.
13:21So...
13:22OK, now I'm worried.
13:23Me and my mum are really, really close,
13:25but we don't really compare notes on guys.
13:29Do you compare notes with your mum?
13:33Absolutely not.
13:34LAUGHTER
13:37Just...
13:37No, I can't talk about that.
13:40My mum sometimes does say to me, like,
13:42when I first started dating Kennedy
13:44and I told her about him,
13:45she was like,
13:46he's handsome and he's handsome.
13:48And then she was like,
13:48so has anything happened?
13:50And I'm like,
13:50shut up!
13:51Shut up!
13:52Like, for want of a better term,
13:54my willy goes back in.
13:55If my mum ever mentions anything,
13:58I just can't.
13:59Thank you for answering my question.
14:01Thank you, Mikey.
14:04Oh, God.
14:05We're going to come to Claire now.
14:08Hi, Roland.
14:09You all right, Claire?
14:09Nice to meet you.
14:10How are you, babe?
14:13So, I was sorry to read about your breakdown.
14:18How did you cope?
14:19Not well.
14:21Not well.
14:25Er...
14:26When my marriage ended.
14:28You know that term when someone says
14:29to pull the rug from under you?
14:31Yeah.
14:33That's the only way I can describe it.
14:34It's like someone went like that
14:35and I just fell over
14:36and I couldn't get back up.
14:38Like, I broke both my arms and legs.
14:41Hmm.
14:43I don't know if anyone here has been through
14:45anything like that.
14:48I thought I weren't going to get out of it.
14:51I went back to live with my mum
14:53because I didn't want to be in my house
14:54because there was too many memories of things in there.
15:00And so I did this thing with a cup of tea,
15:02which is going to sound really strange, but it helped me.
15:06On day one, I walked over to the kettle in my mum's house
15:10and pressed the button.
15:11And then I walked away.
15:12That was enough for day one.
15:13I couldn't deal with any more.
15:16On day two, I pressed the button on the kettle
15:19and watched it boil.
15:21On day three, I pressed the button, watched it boil,
15:24and then got a cup out of the cupboard.
15:26That was enough.
15:27On day four.
15:28And lo and behold, I got to the day
15:30where I could make my mum a cup of tea again.
15:33Oh, nice.
15:33And that's when I started getting better
15:35because I knew, hang on a minute,
15:37yeah, I might not be able to run,
15:39but I can crawl.
15:40Mm.
15:40Then I can walk.
15:42And now I can run.
15:46Thanks, babe.
15:49What, I'm a celebrity?
15:50Er, no, I've never done I'm a Celebrity.
15:52I think I'd die if I went on that show.
15:54Really?
15:54That bridge don't look safe, kind of.
15:56I know.
15:57No, thank you.
15:59You're funny.
16:02You all right?
16:04Yeah.
16:05Ready for Natalie?
16:07My miss is a great big fan of yours.
16:09Oh, what's your missus' name?
16:11Kirsty.
16:12How long you been together?
16:13Don't know how long I've been together.
16:15Longwall.
16:15How did you meet?
16:17At a party.
16:18Oh, all right.
16:19Who asked you out?
16:21I asked her out.
16:21Here we go.
16:22Come on.
16:24She's too shy to walk down the aisle.
16:26What do I do?
16:28Oh, we're going to have to have a word for fire.
16:31Do you want to marry her?
16:32Yeah.
16:33Maybe you two could go and get actually legally married,
16:37and then rather than have like a wedding where it's all walked down the aisle,
16:41you could have a big party with all your family and friends,
16:44and that could be your wedding.
16:45and then she won't feel nervous about walking down the aisle,
16:49and it's just you guys all having a big party together,
16:50but the ring's on the finger.
16:52Yeah, thanks.
16:53Oh, can I get an invite as well?
16:54Yeah.
16:55All right, deal.
16:55I'm going.
16:56Seriously, you should go.
16:58I'll be there.
17:00Elijah.
17:02Hello again.
17:04Hello again.
17:05Hello again.
17:05Um, why is fame so important to you?
17:09It's not...
17:11That was the thing that I was actually looking forward to,
17:14was like people knowing who I was,
17:17people wanting to know me and things like that.
17:20And then I got it.
17:23I don't know if I'll get in trouble for this, but I don't care.
17:26I've earned a lot of money over the years,
17:28and I'm grateful for that.
17:30But it became the one thing I hated the most.
17:34Is there any part of it that you like?
17:43I remember when I went on X Factor, they said,
17:45what do you want out of this?
17:46I said, I just want to get my mum a new front door.
17:49We lived in a council house and she hated that door.
17:52And fast forward a few years, she got a whole new house rather than...
17:56And my mum would never...
17:57My mum would have been...
17:58I've grown half in a council house.
18:00I've got no problem with council houses.
18:02It's all I ever knew all my life.
18:04But to be able to sort of bring my mum out of that
18:08and give her her own place
18:09is something she never would have done.
18:11So that's...
18:11They're the things that I'm very grateful for.
18:14Yeah, really grateful for.
18:17Well, I'm glad that I got to meet you.
18:19And I'm really glad I got to meet you.
18:21Thank you, babe.
18:22She's so lovely.
18:26We're going to move on to setting up for something for you.
18:30I now feel like I recognise you.
18:32Did you by any chance go to Smith's in Chelsea?
18:37Friday night?
18:38Yes!
18:39And then Sunday before Chicago's?
18:41Yes!
18:41Gay night on a Sunday in Chelsea.
18:43Yes!
18:43That was the best night at all!
18:44Oh, my God!
18:45It's in Chelsea.
18:51I want it.
18:52I've crossed deserts for miles.
18:54Swam waters for time.
18:57Searching places to find,
18:59A piece of something a coal mine.
19:03A piece of something a coal mine.
19:07I want it.
19:08I want it.
19:09Coming closer to you.
19:11Ran along many moors, walked through many doors
19:15The place where I wanna be is a place I can call mine
19:23Is a place I can call mine
19:29I'm moving, I'm coming, can you hear what I hear?
19:33It's calling you, my dear, out of reach
19:37Take me to my beach, I can hear it, calling you
19:43I'm coming, can you hear what I'm doing?
19:46I'm swimming closer to you
19:48Never been here before, I'm intrigued, I'm unsure
19:53I'm searching for more, I've got something that's all mine
19:59I've got something that's all mine
20:04I'm coming, I'm coming closer to you
20:08Take me somewhere I can breathe, I've got so much to see
20:13This is where I wanna be, in a place I can call mine
20:18I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming, coming closer to you
20:27I'm moving, I'm feeling
20:29Go, go
20:31I'm coming, not drowning
20:36I'm moving, I'm feeling
20:41I'm coming, not drowning
20:45I'm moving, I'm coming, can you hear what I hear?
20:49It's calling you, my dear, out of reach
20:53Take me to my beach, I can hear it, calling you
20:59I'm coming, I'm drowning, swimming closer to you
21:04I'm moving, I'm coming, can you hear what I hear?
21:09It's calling you, my dear, out of reach
21:12Take me to my beach, I can hear it, calling you
21:18I'm coming, I'm drowning, swimming closer to you
21:25Oh, my God! Amazing!
21:30That was so good!
21:32Thank you!
21:35You bastard, you made me cry!
21:40Thank you!
21:42Oh, my God!
21:43I cannot believe, literally, I said, all saints, pure shores.
21:47See, you'd already planned this?
21:49That's so bizarre.
21:52I'm just so fucking predictable
21:56Thank you, and let's do it again!
22:03Somebody else, though, somebody else
22:06No, leave them, I'll come back
22:10Oh, Harry, I love you
22:12Thank you so much
22:16I knew I'd seen you before
22:18I knew I'd seen you before
22:19I knew it
22:20Thanks, babe
22:21Peace, kiss
22:21Mwah
22:22Mwah
22:23I had the best day
22:25I know your name's Caroline
22:26Stop it!
22:27Stop it!
22:28How are you?
22:29Six-four?
22:30Six-five?
22:31Are you all right?
22:33Yes
22:41That was, like, the best thing I've ever done
22:47I'm moving
22:49I'm coming
22:50Can you hear
22:51What I hear?
22:52It's calling you, my dear
22:55Out of reach
22:56Take me to my beach
22:58I can hear it
23:00Calling you
23:02I'm coming
23:03I'm down and swimming
23:05I'm moving
23:05Closer to you
23:07I'm moving
23:08I'm coming
23:09Can you hear
23:10What I hear?
23:12It's calling you, my dear
23:14Out of reach
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