- 7 minutes ago
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Short filmTranscript
00:00Hey, I'm Eduardo Vega. I'm here to check on my motocicleta.
00:05Are you... Joe?
00:06Yeah, yeah, it's right here. It's a beautiful bike, man.
00:08Oh, thank you. Yeah, my regular mechanic is still in Europe,
00:11but I like to fly in early to qualify.
00:14Well, she handles like a dream now.
00:15Oh, you rode it?
00:17Well, you know, I had to test it out.
00:18Of course, yeah, yeah, but this is a sensitive racing machine,
00:21not some toy from Toy Story, which I saw on the plane and it's fantastic.
00:26Well, don't worry, I know what I'm doing.
00:28I've actually done a little racing myself. I was a triple-A junior national finalist.
00:31Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes, the peewee circuit.
00:36Where did you say you were from?
00:37Uh, Spain.
00:38Oh, yeah? Oh, little bitty Spain.
00:43She is very beautiful.
00:45Yeah, we've already established that, pal.
00:46No, no, no, I mean the girl.
00:50Pardon me, I am Eduardo Vega.
00:53Lou, Davis.
00:53Lou?
00:54Yeah.
00:55She's a man.
01:02I do not usually do this, but because I must go now and yet I wish to spend more time
01:07with you,
01:07would you consider attending my race this Saturday?
01:10Saturday?
01:11Sorry, pal. You know what? She's not really a big fan of motorcycles.
01:13I would love to. Thank you.
01:15No, no, no. Thank you. Yes, yes, yes. I'll be the one with the pearly white helmet.
01:20To match your smile.
01:22You noticed.
01:22Yeah.
01:24Very proud of my teeth.
01:26Well, ciao, mi amor, I'll have the crew pick up my bike and I'll see you in the winner's circle.
01:30Okay. Ciao.
01:31Ciao.
01:32Wow.
01:34Oh.
01:36Unbelievable.
01:38It'll, um, match your smile.
01:40Oh, so you've noticed. Okay, ciao, mi amor.
01:43Is that the most obnoxious conceited guy you've ever met?
01:47No.
01:50Okay.
01:51Well, you know what? I might just end that race myself because, uh, I have done it before.
01:54All right.
01:55Pee-wee circuit.
02:25A part of me will always be with you.
02:29No matter where you are.
02:34A part of you will always be with me too.
02:43Good night. Come again.
02:45I can't believe they're gonna throw these fries out.
02:47Is this job great or what?
02:50Yeah, great.
02:52Oh, my God.
02:53Look how much they take out.
02:55Taxes?
02:56FICA?
02:57What's FICA?
02:57Well, that money goes for when you retire.
02:59You'll be glad you got that when you're 70.
03:01When we're 70, we're gonna be living underground using jugs of water for money.
03:06Besides, from what I've seen, the chicks aren't that hot at 70.
03:11Angela Lansbury.
03:14Okay, I'll shut up.
03:16I need cash now.
03:17Oh, yeah? How bad?
03:18They're having auditions to play Lucky Burger.
03:20Could you imagine a more humiliating way to make a living?
03:24Feeding out the fryer later with you was awful high on the list.
03:28I'd rather do that than wear a stupid plastic hamburger on my head.
03:31Leaves that head on, nobody knows who you are.
03:33Pays $100 in appearance.
03:36Still Lucky Burger?
03:37No way.
03:38No way.
03:39No way.
03:47Oh, Lou.
03:48Guess what?
03:49I got a sponsor.
03:50I didn't know you had a drinking problem.
03:52Not that kind of sponsor, all right?
03:53A sponsor for the road race.
03:54And best of all, they supply the bike.
03:56I don't believe you.
03:57Just because some good-looking road racer comes walking in here and asks...
04:00Wait, what?
04:00You thought like I was good-looking?
04:03Only if you go for that Antonio Banderas in a leather jacket thing.
04:08All right, all right.
04:09Well, um, check this out, huh?
04:11Okay, that's not bad.
04:13Of course, it's not as big as Eduardo's bike.
04:19Yeah, well, where do you see my helmet?
04:22Oh, I thought you already had it on.
04:26What's going on?
04:27Joe got a sponsor.
04:28No, really?
04:29Yeah.
04:30Look, I had no idea you had a gambling problem.
04:35Lloyd, I decided to go back into racing.
04:37Racing?
04:37Oh, well, you got your new pit crew, Chief, if you're interested.
04:40It'd be just like old times with your dad.
04:42Yep.
04:43Mike Roman and Lloyd Burwell were a great team.
04:45We were the Sonny and Cher of racing.
04:48Except I never got to wear that furry vest.
04:52The racing commission had those stupid rules and everything.
04:55Hey, guys, I think I found a job I'd be perfect for.
04:58Really?
04:59I didn't know they'd pay people to freak out over nothing.
05:02What's that supposed to mean?
05:05Matt, I thought you already had a job.
05:07Let's just say I might be rising in the company.
05:09Oh, yeah?
05:10What is it, bud?
05:11Oh, no, I'm not telling you.
05:12Take my good news, put your poison spinner on it.
05:14Before I know it, I'll be sorry I ever told you.
05:16Just want to eliminate the middle man so I'll have a good laugh at my expense.
05:22Sometimes I wonder what it would be like inside your head.
05:26It would last five minutes.
05:29Look, Joe, tell Ma I might be a little late for dinner.
05:31All right, bud, we'll see ya.
05:33So look, Lloyd, I'm gonna take this thing out on the track for a run and then we'll know just
05:36how much work it needs.
05:37You got it.
05:37All right.
05:37So wait, you're really serious about this?
05:39Oh, yeah, you're kidding. I love racing. There's nothing else like it.
05:41Hey, do you want to come?
05:43Well...
05:43Oh, come on now. It's always good to try something new.
05:45Remember yesterday when you talked me into eating that tofu?
05:47No, Joe. I had to trick you into eating tofu by telling you it was an Eskimo pie without the
05:52chocolate.
05:53And you liked it.
05:55All right, all right, all right, all right, all right.
05:57Hey, Lou.
05:57You know what? They're having a lovely poetry reading down at Trenton Speedway today.
06:01Perhaps you'd like to come check it out.
06:02Sure, Joe. I love poetry.
06:04Yeah, you see.
06:08I've known you for 20 years and you've never invited me to a poetry meeting.
06:17No way.
06:20Hello, everybody, and welcome to today's audition.
06:23I'm Doug Jordan.
06:25But some of you may know me better by the role I play in commercials, television's Lucky Burger.
06:32Sure, it's fun, but it's not easy.
06:34We have a two-part auditioning process.
06:37It's grueling, and hey, it's not for everyone.
06:40But when it's all over, one of you is going to walk out of here a very happy person.
06:46Yeah, and one of us is going to be wearing a giant hamburger bun on his head.
06:50Right, Doug?
06:52See ya!
06:58Okay, now that we've gotten rid of the troublemaker, let's begin.
07:02Assuming the role of Lucky Burger is an honor.
07:05It shows not just our customers' faith in you, but also our faith,
07:08because we're trusting a $2,500 costume to a 16-year-old.
07:13Now, later on, I'll show you some of Lucky Burger's cool dance moves.
07:17But first, let's cover dramatic interpretation.
07:21Repeat after me.
07:23Well, flip my burgers!
07:25Well, flip my burgers!
07:29Let's hear that again.
07:31Well, flip my burgers!
07:35See ya!
07:37Super!
07:38Now, let's try a couple of more.
07:41Number two, it's Frenchy Fry-rific!
07:45It's Frenchy Fry-rific!
07:48Oh, that's right!
07:50Joe, that was so cool!
07:52Yeah, how about the way I took that first hairpin, huh?
07:54I don't remember it being that tight at Fort Myers.
07:55No, Joe, I'm really impressed.
07:57I mean, I gotta admit, I thought you were blowing smoke,
07:59but you really do know your way around a track.
08:01It was kind of, um...
08:03Hot?
08:04Sexy?
08:06And Joe Roman fumbles another potentially sweet moment.
08:12Hey, what's this?
08:13Joe's entering a road race.
08:14Pretty cool, huh, bud?
08:16You're entering a race?
08:17Well, if I qualify tomorrow, I'll be racing on Saturday.
08:19I gotta be there!
08:20Promise me I can come!
08:21Absolutely!
08:22I'll be your good luck charm!
08:24You can't win without your good luck charm!
08:25You're there, buddy.
08:26Give me five.
08:27All right.
08:28And number 42, Hergity Burgity Good!
08:33Hergity Burgity Good!
08:35Hey, you, you, and you, step out.
08:40Everyone else, see ya!
08:45Yeah, you guys are good.
08:47It's gonna be hard choosing between you.
08:49But that's why we have our musical portion,
08:51where you'll learn some of Lucky's cool dance moves.
08:54But remember, whoever is selected must assume the complete role of Lucky Burger.
08:59Once you put on that head, you must never respond to your own name.
09:03Now, let's take five while I slip into some of Lucky's cool threads.
09:09Oh no, he's not too scary.
09:11He's Frenchy Fry-rific.
09:14Quit sucking up.
09:17Okay, I've advanced the timing four degrees and I've loosened up the suspension.
09:21Great, I wish you could loosen up my lower back.
09:23Yeah, I bet you do, Roman.
09:25Okay.
09:26Where does it hurt?
09:27Are you kidding me?
09:28No.
09:28All right, all right.
09:30There.
09:31How does that feel?
09:32A little lower.
09:33Okay.
09:34A little bit lower.
09:35Okay.
09:36A little bit lower.
09:37Joe, any lower and I'll hit the brain.
09:40Are we interrupting something?
09:42No.
09:42We're just working on the bike.
09:43So I see.
09:45Oh, I thought Mr. Vega already picked up his bike.
09:47No, this is my bike.
09:48Yeah, Joe's gonna be in a race on Saturday.
09:50Oh, really?
09:51Well, if I qualify.
09:52Oh, you're gonna qualify.
09:53Don't forget, I'm gonna be your good luck charm.
09:55Absolutely, buddy.
09:56You'll be right there Saturday morning.
09:58Oh, Saturday's impossible.
09:59Don't you remember, Andy?
10:00We're, um, gonna go buy some spring clothes.
10:03Please, Mom, I'm begging ya.
10:05Any more overalls, I'll have to join a cast of Eeyaw.
10:09All right, well, we'll talk about it later.
10:11Does anybody know where Matt is?
10:13Sure, he's probably sitting in some corner somewhere feeling sorry for himself.
10:16Let's have a burger at night tonight.
10:19Have burger at night.
10:21All right.
10:22Get your top coat dusted.
10:25Don't be skippy with the monster.
10:29Cause it's a lucky burger at night.
10:33Ha, ha, ha!
10:34Tonight!
10:37Lucky Burger at night!
10:43Okay, not bad.
10:44It's a beginning.
10:45Uh, everybody practice tonight.
10:47I'll make my final decision tomorrow.
10:48And remember, you have to bring your own tap shoes.
10:51I don't have tap shoes.
10:52You don't have tap shoes.
10:54Fifteen years old and you don't have your own tap shoes?
10:58Ah, what should we do?
11:00What should we do?
11:00What should we do?
11:01Get some!
11:04Uh, Matt?
11:05Between you and me and Lucky?
11:07You got the part.
11:09Wow, thanks!
11:10Yeah, I'll call the others and tell them over the phone.
11:12I've only got so many Sia's in me.
11:14Uh, you know what?
11:15I want you to take Lucky's head and practice with it tonight.
11:18Cause you've got your first big gig tomorrow.
11:20Again, thanks.
11:21I have to caution you.
11:22No one is to see you in the process of changing into Lucky Burger from your regular identity.
11:28You mean like, like Clark Kent?
11:31I'm sorry, I'm not familiar.
11:34Just remember that golden rule.
11:36When appearing in the persona of Lucky Burger, never, ever, ever, ever respond to your own name.
11:42Oh, believe me, that won't be a problem.
11:46Super.
11:46I can make it home in time for high society.
11:53Will?
11:54Qualified for the race, buddy!
11:55Great!
11:56Of course you're qualified!
11:57You're a Roman!
11:59And you'll have a Burwell in your pit.
12:02Hope that's not as uncomfortable as it sounds.
12:06Claire, he was fantastic!
12:07He had the best time of the whole day.
12:09I gotta tell you, it's so much more intense when you're right there on the track watching.
12:12You should've been there.
12:12Oh, I've been on the track before.
12:15Congratulations, Joe!
12:16Thanks!
12:16Can I see you for a second?
12:17Yeah, sure.
12:20What's up?
12:21Well, I've got some good news, too.
12:22We got the Warren account, so I told him we would start working on his Bentley on Saturday.
12:26That's great!
12:27But you know what?
12:27The race is on Saturday, so I'll just do it on Sunday, alright?
12:30Joe, I just thought you wanted to prove you could qualify.
12:32Well, you did.
12:33You can be very proud.
12:35But now there's work to be done.
12:37Well, I can do it on Sunday.
12:38I just want to see how I do in one actual race, that's all.
12:40Oh, I know how this works.
12:41After this, there's another race just as important and then another and another, and meanwhile,
12:45I'm back here keeping the business together.
12:48Sorry.
12:48Look, Claire, I cannot back out now, okay?
12:50Besides, I promised Andy.
12:51Andy is not going.
12:52We made plans for next Saturday two weeks ago, and I can't break them now.
12:56No, no, no, no.
12:56I told Andy that he could go.
12:58You just can't do this.
12:59Don't tell me what I can and cannot do with my son.
13:01This may not be in your racing rule book, but I am his mother, and that means I decide what
13:05he does and doesn't do.
13:07Look, he's really looking forward to this, okay?
13:08He loves racing.
13:09No.
13:10Andy loves you, and you love racing.
13:12I want you to forget about this race.
13:14Stop right there.
13:15Claire.
13:15You're Andy's mother, not mine.
13:17I'm racing.
13:20Claire?
13:21I'm going to check on the air filter supply.
13:28Roman customizing.
13:30Mike Roman.
13:31No, um, he's not here anymore.
13:35No, there's no forwarding address.
13:36Who's calling?
13:38Oh, well, um, the reason he didn't renew his subscription is because he died last year.
13:44In a racing accident.
13:46Yes, we're all sorry.
13:58Burger Don't, number 76.
14:00Don't dance too close to the grill, as your costume is extremely flammable.
14:04Should you burst into flames, roll on the ground, but do not remove the head.
14:10Here you go.
14:13You tap-dancing fool.
14:15Oh, thanks, Lloyd.
14:16You got me taps.
14:18Look, I'm sorry about all the secrecy.
14:19Well, I understand about secrecy.
14:21You know, as a matter of fact, I was issued these in the Coast Guard.
14:23The Coast Guard?
14:24Huh?
14:25When you've been at sea for six months, straight drama just won't do.
14:29Eventually, the fellas want a musical.
14:31Something light-hearted, like Brigadoon or Flower Drum Song.
14:35And that's when you're really glad you got these babies.
14:41Now, tell me why you need tap shoes.
14:43Sorry, Lloyd, but I gotta keep this under tight wraps for a little while.
14:47I'm on Lucky Burger tonight.
14:49Lucky Burger tonight!
14:51Yeah!
14:55Andy!
14:57Hey, Andy!
14:58Andy, what are you doing?
14:59Heading out with me!
15:01Andy, I'm not supposed to show this to anyone.
15:04Wait a minute.
15:06Tap shoes?
15:07Burger head?
15:09I'm starting to put it all together.
15:12Dammit, Matt, you're too young to enlist!
15:15No, Lloyd.
15:17I've been chosen to be the new Philadelphia Lucky Burger.
15:20Oh, my gosh.
15:24Matt!
15:25Are you kidding me?
15:26Not the Lucky Burger.
15:27The all-singing, all-dancing slab of beef?
15:30Oh!
15:31Congratulations, buddy!
15:32Oh, great.
15:33Now it starts.
15:34No!
15:34I think this is terrific!
15:35Are you kidding?
15:36I mean, how much does a dancing sandwich get nowadays, huh?
15:39A hundred bucks a shot.
15:41Really?
15:41And that's not including the pickles the girls are gonna stick in your pants for tips.
15:46And, uh, I've got something for you, Joe.
15:51It's for the race today.
15:52I already got a jacket.
15:54Hey!
15:55Hey, that's Dad's jacket!
15:56It is?
15:57I don't remember it.
15:59Sure you do!
16:00Don't you remember you used to love opening and closing all the zippers?
16:02Dad would hide stuff in the pockets for you to find?
16:04What kind of stuff?
16:05You know, like toys, little candies and stuff?
16:08Once, Dad ate a hamster in there.
16:10Oh, yeah!
16:11Now I remember!
16:13Harry!
16:13Harry the hamster!
16:15What else did Dad do?
16:16Well, he used to give us tickle tests.
16:18Remember, Joe?
16:19No.
16:20And you always started laughing before he even touched you, huh?
16:24Joe was the best, and I fell somewhere in the middle.
16:29Well, Dad, get ready for this gig.
16:31Well, Matt, I'm sure you'll be able to fill my shoes.
16:35However, you'll probably want to stuff them with newspaper.
16:38Thanks, Lloyd.
16:39Good luck, buddy.
16:40Oh, good luck at the race, Joe.
16:41Yeah.
16:42See ya.
16:46Come on.
16:47Try it on, Joe.
16:48All right.
16:49Come on.
16:50Come on.
16:50Ready?
16:51Okay.
16:53Hey.
16:54What's going on here?
16:55Lloyd found Dad's old racing jacket.
16:57Joe's gonna wear it in the race today.
16:59Oh, that's great!
17:00He can tell you all about it.
17:02Come on, Andy, we're going shopping.
17:03I'm going to the race, Mom.
17:04No, you're not.
17:05I am so, and you can't stop me.
17:07Watch me.
17:08Now go get ready.
17:09No!
17:09Andy!
17:10I hate you!
17:15That's great.
17:16You can't tell me what to do, so you just take it out on him.
17:18What is your problem?
17:21My problem is you look much too much like your father in that jacket.
17:26Slash of this is all about, huh?
17:28Look, Claire, I get hit by a bus crossing the street, okay?
17:32There is danger everywhere.
17:33Which is exactly why you shouldn't go looking for it.
17:36Do you know the only thing I thank God for on that awful day is that Matt and Andy weren't
17:40there to see that crash?
17:42I am not my father, okay?
17:44Right.
17:45You just dress the same, and you talk the same, and you became a mechanic, and you like to race.
17:50Look, I do those things because I like them. It has nothing to do with him.
17:53What do you want me to do, beg?
17:55Okay, I'm begging.
17:57Please don't go to that race.
17:59You are too important to us.
18:01To Andy and Matt and me.
18:04We love you.
18:05And we couldn't stand it if we lost you too, okay?
18:10We cannot go through that again.
18:14Claire, nothing's gonna happen to me.
18:17Yeah.
18:18Boy, that's exactly what he said every time I asked him not to race.
18:21You know, it was always just gonna be one more, and then we'd be set, and then he would quit.
18:26Only he just never quit.
18:29I couldn't stand the fighting, so finally I just stopped asking him.
18:34Maybe if I hadn't.
18:36Maybe if I had just said something that day.
18:39He still would have gone.
18:42Believe me, I know.
18:44I wish I did.
18:48But I'm still gonna say it now.
18:50No.
18:52Don't go, Joe.
18:55Please don't go.
19:03Hey, Andy.
19:05Andy.
19:07Listen, but I have to tell you something, okay?
19:09I decided that I'm not gonna race, and I don't mean to disappoint you.
19:12And look, this is not your mom's fault either, all right?
19:14It's just something that I decided.
19:15I didn't think it was the right time right now, okay?
19:17Whew.
19:18Maybe now I can get a decent night's sleep.
19:21Wait a minute.
19:22I thought that you wanted to go to the race.
19:23Only because you were going?
19:25I hate racing.
19:27How come I wanted to go so bad then, buddy?
19:29To protect you.
19:32Gonna be my good luck charm, huh?
19:33Yeah.
19:35Like it was for Dad.
19:37Remember that?
19:38Of course I remember.
19:40But then that one day, I didn't go in.
19:43Oh, no, honey.
19:44That's not true.
19:45It had nothing to do with you.
19:47She's right, Ann.
19:47It wasn't anybody's fault.
19:49It just kinda happened.
19:50But why that day?
19:51We don't know, sweetie.
19:52We'll never know.
19:53So why didn't you ever tell me about this?
19:56Because every time we talk about Dad, he gets sad.
19:59Because I miss him.
20:02But the last thing Daddy would ever want is for you to think it was your fault.
20:07You either.
20:11So, does that mean we still have to go shopping?
20:14No.
20:15Let's go somewhere fun and happy.
20:18Joe knows just the place.
20:20Hey, everybody!
20:21Look who's here!
20:25Let's have a burger at night tonight.
20:28I have a burger at night.
20:31Alright!
20:32Get your top coat dusted.
20:34Don't be skipping with the mustard.
20:39Cause it's a lucky burger at night.
20:42Ha ha ha!
20:44Tonight!
20:46Lucky burger at night!
20:54I can't believe that burger is my son.
20:56Great job, Matt!
20:58Hey, Matt!
20:59Come on over here and join us, buddy.
21:03Hey, Matt, what, are you two good for us or something?
21:06You guys take it easy on him.
21:08He probably just can't hear us.
21:09Hey, Matt!
21:10Hey, I'm talking to you, burger breath!
21:13No, I can't respond to my own name in public.
21:17See ya!
21:25Hey, Lou!
21:26Listen, I'm really sorry about disappointing you today.
21:30What are you talking about?
21:31Well, I know that you were excited about the race and everything, and I'm sorry.
21:35Joe, you're not racing was the sexiest thing I think I've ever seen you do.
21:39No.
21:41Really?
21:41Yeah.
21:43Well, uh, since you thought it was so sexy, maybe I have to work with you.
21:47No!
21:48Sorry I am late, but these photographers with the flashing and the yada yada yada, they turned the winter circle
21:53into a beehive.
21:53That's okay, I understand. Let me get my jacket.
21:55Okay.
21:57Okay, I thought you just said that not racing was the sexiest thing you've seen.
22:01No, Joe, I said it was the sexiest thing I've ever seen you do.
22:04Ciao.
22:05Joe!
22:07I know!
22:11I know!
22:21I know!
22:24I know!
22:26That's true!