- 36 minutes ago
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:08This guy said so I was actually watching some older episodes of your show on the peep show
00:15on YouTube and I saw the one would you zip up a man well I had to I had to
00:26unzip a man
00:27oh wow he said I was cooking at Coney Island I had to use the restroom number two okay okay
00:36went into
00:37the stall to take care of business thank you for cooking our conies even Coney cooks gotta poop man
00:43it's a bad story yeah no it's not good Coney and pooping so I come out there is this regular
00:50guy
00:50that always is at the restaurant he always sits at the counter he has no hands okay the cooks actually
01:01dice up his food for him and he seems to manage pretty well every time I saw him eating there
01:08he's able to kind of pick up a fork with the hook but this time as I come out of
01:14doing my business
01:16he's standing in front of the urinal trying to unzip his pants he was struggling I don't have
01:25zipper pants if I lost my hands yeah you gotta it's all elastic it's all like track pants this
01:31guy manages to eat a Coney with hooks I think he can get his zipper down I hope but it
01:36doesn't seem
01:36like it's gonna so basically Chuck is already living the life of a no hand exactly exactly yeah
01:41these hands don't do anything his hooks not small enough to get in the little hole in the zipper
01:46he says I don't know the end of the hook he appeared to have a little piece of coat hanger
01:52trying to get that hole in the zipper to pull it down but he kept struggling and was obviously
01:59frustrated no I wasn't sure if I should help but I ended up saying the stupidest thing I've ever said
02:06to him man let me touch your crotch area do you need a hand there oh wow oh Jesus he
02:12didn't take
02:13any offense to it and kindly said actually yes please so his hook fail his his hanger thing that
02:21he created yes it was a fail fail yeah so he planned ahead but just but not good enough yeah
02:27so I unzipped
02:28his zipper for him and then said okay man you're on your own from here he thanked me I washed
02:36my hands
02:36and went back to work I told the other cooks what happened and they died the jokes still haven't ended
02:43no they thought it was hilarious I just thought I was being helpful the man was obviously not
02:49embarrassed he continues to freak with the restaurant would you guys do this would you help
02:54a man with hooks I just leave I mean I I listen I'm gonna be honest you kind of know
03:00him you know
03:01okay let me say I I will say this I don't the perv factor is if it's just somebody like
03:08oh I can't get
03:09my zipper down will you help this guy you can see you know he's having trouble it's legitimate I've
03:17already left you kind of know him like you see right you see him he's a regular thing if you
03:23see
03:23him all the time and he saw you walk by him yeah like what can you say you say yeah
03:28you're gonna get
03:29a hook next time I'm sorry what I say is oh I didn't even see I didn't think you were
03:34struggling
03:34right he hasn't asked you for help yeah I just go I'm already gone I'm already gone I mean he
03:39is
03:40there this uh coat hanger like he's trying to break into a car trying to get into a zipper I
03:45don't look at
03:45other men at urinals that's the whole deal I mean if I see a guy sit standing there peeing with
03:53two
03:53hooks I'm looking there's no chance I'm not looking at that you have to see it thank god he didn't
03:59have
03:59to poop oh speaking of which that work speaking of which I'm glad that our listener threw that in
04:07because no part of his story required the fact that he had to take a dump no well I guess
04:11he wanted
04:11to know that he was in a stall oh yes I guess so that makes some sense you're not standing
04:16by the
04:17urinal to me if I'm not standing beside him at the urinal I'm gone dude what does the hook man
04:23do
04:23with the poop how does he wipe my thought it would be like a pencil his hook and you take
04:33toilet paper
04:34wrap it around a bunch of times and then just try to do one swoop oh wow and hope it
04:39just pops off huh
04:40I think you're gonna need more than one swoop I don't think it's gonna pop first thought off the
04:43bat that's where how do you shake that off what between your legs you shake that off your oh
04:49what do you do I stuck on you oh man huh oh you don't want hot about it you don't
04:56want oh no you
04:57don't you have to have attachments to me yeah there's got to be like a crap crap attachment you grab
05:04a backpack full of different hooks it's got like a well if that's the case you should have a knife
05:09one too
05:10for cutting up his own food oh he should true he should swiss army hook yeah maybe he can't afford
05:16the attachment it's like I believe you're pretty poor if you can only afford hooks and not prosthetic
05:22hands okay yes yeah yeah absolutely in these days okay yeah so let's look at the man's situation you
05:28are getting stuff probably donated I think it's different if he asks and he's a regular customer
05:33I think you know he's embarrassed too he doesn't want another man pulling his zipper down he's trying
05:40his best with a little hooker little hooker what's it called a coat hanger yeah a little coat hanger
05:45trying to do it himself he can't do it he's got a pee probably real bad he doesn't want to
05:52piss
05:52himself I know so yes pull down my zipper man isn't this what we want isn't this where we're at
05:58it's every man for themselves no it's not where we're at right now let's have isn't it just every
06:05man for themselves no one in certain situations every man for themselves I'm sorry generally in
06:12the bathroom I got my own stuff I agree in the bathroom it's every man for themselves that's
06:17sort of what but I think there are there's gotta be exceptions really old folks people that are not
06:23the weak shall fall chuck the strong shall survive as if he's older I'm helping him if he's an older
06:32guy because then I feel bad hooks were invented I just looked at 109 years ago I know
06:37we've come a long ways hands exist we gotta get some yeah I'm telling you right now the hook's been
06:44around even longer than that pirates so chuck there's an old man in the bathroom oh I have to go
06:54I have help help me sir don't leave help me he left he left he just left he walked right
07:05out the
07:05door with his headphones on no you don't you can't you don't I don't even I would feel it's so
07:12uncomfortable unzipping another man you know how fast I walk by the urinal section if I was in
07:18in the stall like they I'm not paying them any mind they're on their own man you're on your own
07:24in
07:25there I hate to say it Lisa what there is a hook lady yeah hook lady can't get her skirt
07:33down
07:33get her skirt down skirt yank it up okay whatever her pants pants she has a zipper she has to
07:40have a
07:41zipper too she's got a zipper she's got because ladies wear pants now I forgot ladies wear pants
07:47these days help her with their skirt I forgot it's the 2000s yeah there's a broad in there
07:58there's a broad in there there's a broad in there she's got a skirt like a mini skirt that's all
08:02she's allowed to wear
08:05my old lady was in there with her she's she just she left the kitchen long enough to get in
08:09there
08:10she's gotta pee somehow she's not barefoot and pregnant she's in a bathroom uh yeah so she's got
08:17pants on she can't she's got hook hands she can't get her pants on she goes excuse me miss
08:21would you please help me oh she asked me yeah I would help she didn't ask you just saw her
08:27struggling asking is I would not offer because it would be strange she might think I'm a freak
08:32right you know asking is so much different can I help you no it is you only respond
08:41to a request request you know otherwise it's yeah you're a weirdo like I said like my buddy
08:48this guy didn't respond to a request but I think it's a different situation because it's a regular
08:52customer if I sort of knew the person yeah maybe I would of course I would help you having trouble
08:57with them no hands like if Chuck had no hands Lisa oh and he said and then he says Lisa
09:03I really
09:04have to wipe and Dave's not around not wipe yes Lisa I'm struggling I am not wiping your butt
09:13I am not we are friends we are very good friends but I'm not helping your butt help me he's
09:20got hooks
09:21my hooks fell off no he looks like his cartoon character Chuck's in here he's gotta go he says
09:29would you mind doing this before I run to the bathroom just pull his shirt ask Dave where's Dave
09:34I'm out of the room no ask Ryan ask someone else the only the only thing it could possibly be
09:39with
09:40me and I don't even know how I would have pulled this one off in the first place with no
09:43hands
09:44is that I've tied my pants I have my I have joggers jogging pants on and they're tied and I
09:55can't
09:56pull them down it's too tight and I'm like that would be the thing can you uh can you
10:02what untie the knot just untie the knot I'll be over there
10:08I'll have to get some scissors and cut it
10:11well I don't care how you handle it you could do that I'm just saying there's no way there's no
10:17way
10:18there's no way okay so the situation is here only because it's a regular customer he was I think I
10:26would do the same thing if it was just a man struggling I'm not sure I would offer help I
10:31will be honest I think I would just do my business and go because I don't want to seem like
10:36the pervert
10:37exactly excuse me sir can I unzip you hey I've been watching you struggle with your crotch standing
10:44here and watching you right I'm not I'm not putting myself in that situation if you need
10:49help and you ask me and I feel like it's legitimate and non-pervy okay or in this situation a
10:54regular
10:54customer really struggling with hook hands when I was in the stall back at the old place and that
10:59older man went to the urinal which was right beside the stall and started crying out because he had the
11:07Ryan he started crying out I didn't do anything I didn't say anything I didn't offer him medical
11:13assistance I didn't say I'm gonna call but I don't I didn't know what was going on at the time
11:19yeah like I was I think I was young enough to not even realize like kidney stones were dropping people
11:24like it's hot I I was just I didn't know what was going on with this man he was just
11:34careful did I say it gets them every couple of weeks I know but I don't know how he's in
11:39that
11:40by the way oh I know you're gonna give them to me oh no have you ever cried at a
11:44urinal yes of
11:45course yeah oh yeah yeah you have yeah oops is that me oh sorry my computer's working I found
11:51something that would help how do I turn it off that has never happened before it is playing through
11:56how is the monitor I was playing through the monitor I don't know stop stop stop there's like a wiping
12:02device for people without hands I found sorry about that and it's your computer to break into
12:08regular programming I'm glad to see everything set up okay we hear your friend Chuck has hooks
12:14back to Ryan you you have cried at a urinal yeah yeah oh yeah it's been that bad yeah it's
12:19terrible
12:20not here at a urinal not here not here I haven't but at uh like when I was in school
12:25because I was in
12:25high school when I first got up and that stint moved and I thought it was just more kidney stones
12:30but it was the stint moving I was it was embarrassing I was like sitting up against the wall
12:37oh my god as a 17 year old that's terrible yeah just send me to a new school yeah yeah
12:42no for sure
12:43I got it at that point I get it yeah you're done uh this guy said next time you guys
12:46come to Boston
12:47I'm gonna wear a fake hook and ask for help we'll never come to Boston again we won't see it
12:54how's this help me out no we're not falling for it this is a very unique situation how often do
13:00you
13:01encounter hook hands in the bathroom they have something called if you want to look it up yourself
13:05and play it on your computer bottom buddy we gotta get it for Chuck it's on YouTube I might
13:10I might buy this I might buy three or four of these toilet aid have we looked out of this
13:18before
13:18haven't we we have I don't think so oh that one hook with the wipe the hook with the wipe
13:23we have
13:23looked at because it's for a bigger thick kind of frustration that comes with needing help with
13:29something this private in a specific kind of relief when you realize you don't actually need to ask
13:34for anyone dealing with limited reach or managing in a bathroom with less flexibility than they used
13:42to have the reach is the whole problem oh yeah not the wiping itself it's the reach it's the reach
13:48it's the reach so he has a metal reaching pole that he wraps it like a mummy like you said
13:54Ryan he wraps
13:55it up oh see and then how do we get it off right there must be a gripper there's a
14:03gripper and that you
14:04can release this then dry yourself and then eject it into the toilet or wastebasket or whatever from
14:11so if you had like a hook you would hook put that on your hook yeah yeah that's just another
14:18attachment
14:18your backpack attach it carry that with you yeah you put your you take your bottom buddy with you
14:23wherever you go see you had the idea just a little too late Ryan you could have bottom buddy
14:27I know yeah Chuck has a bottom buddy his name is Jim
14:32you
Comments