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Deadloch S02E03
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00:09Back! Back! Give a class with that, you big scrote!
00:15I wandered in here by accident once too.
00:18Big fella nearly took me arm.
00:20The employee of the exit's on the ride.
00:22Don't worry, you'll get the hang of it.
00:24I'm Roisin.
00:25Is this your first shift?
00:27Come on, the exit's this way.
00:30Just watch that meat pocket.
00:3438 groups, 185, Peter Reptile, Sadistic, Invisible Bucks.
00:38There is just no need.
00:40Stop!
00:49Popping door.
00:58Sorry, sexy.
00:59I forgot to tell you I busted the door.
01:02A cute kid called Mav's gonna fix it.
01:08How was your day, Mav?
01:12Good.
01:36Well, skid, it's a steamy one up here in the top end today.
01:39And in backpacker news, Task Force Hammer.
01:41Yep.
01:42It's Swedish for Hammer.
01:43They have Ping Pong from Bing Bong.
01:45Still on the search for the Swedish backpackers
01:47who were last sighted in a white four-wheel drive at Crossley's Crossing.
01:51And you'll be crossed, folks, if you miss out on catching a big one
01:54at Jason Wade's Big Barrel Bashmanza
01:56that kicks off in Jerks River today.
01:59Are you sure we should do it here, Lil?
02:00Yeah, this is the bush tech east of...
02:03Everyone steers clear.
02:04We're set up in sight.
02:07What is that bloody banging?
02:19Eddie, let's get a hop along.
02:20Come on.
02:26Eddie!
02:28I reckon it's coming from over here.
02:32It is coming from the cool room.
02:34What is it? Is it a brushy stack?
02:35Oh!
02:36Bloody hell.
02:37Open up!
02:38Come on.
02:38What are you doing in there?
02:39I'm freezing my flaps off in here.
02:41Oh, my God.
02:42Were you in the cool room all night?
02:43It's three degrees in there.
02:44What you two are doing is sick.
02:46Crocodiles are a protected species.
02:48They've been around since the dinosaurs, okay?
02:50They hang out with triceratops
02:51and you fucks are selling them as bar snacks.
02:53I'm very disappointed.
02:54Dungalaba's my ancestors.
02:56I'd seen a cook Roger and he knows that, eh?
02:58Yeah.
02:58Someone must have snuck it in there when Bingo was on.
03:00Oh, yeah.
03:01Someone.
03:01Was it someone you?
03:02You?
03:02Was it you?
03:03Oh, you're proper mad.
03:04We don't know who put them in there.
03:05The security cameras are shot out.
03:09Pissfuck.
03:10Alright, you two, leave those crocs where they are
03:12on top of the Alka-Pops, okay?
03:13There's dodgy shit going on in there.
03:20Oh, this tummy's rock hard.
03:22He's all blocked up, Abs.
03:24His poos are lined up like Matchbox cars.
03:26Hi, love.
03:27Hi, sexy.
03:28You seen Eddie?
03:29No.
03:29Abby, how'd you go with the toe?
03:31Not good, man.
03:31His anus is clamped shut, Abs.
03:33It's weird.
03:34It's like he's holding it in on purpose.
03:36Come with me.
03:36I've got some apple cider vinegar to make that dead toe
03:38rocket right out of him.
03:39Okay.
03:40Now, how's your sex life?
03:41Um, Collins.
03:42Hey, where have you been?
03:44I got locked in the call room all night.
03:46What?
03:46My pubes have got hypothermia.
03:48They fuse together like instant noodles.
03:49Hear that?
03:50No, don't make the sound.
03:52Didn't you notice I was gone?
03:53I saw you sleeping in your nook, Eddie.
03:55That was a pile of shorts.
03:56Right, well the smell was exactly the same.
03:58What's that?
03:59Is that the body part?
04:00Don's foot.
04:01Not much good to us.
04:02Me and that ranger with the rainbow paddle pop eyes.
04:04Mickey found it near Dickie's knob.
04:05He's got no toe.
04:06Anyway, come on.
04:07Great.
04:07Let's rattle our dicks.
04:08I've got a prompt to catch.
04:10How'd you get the drone footage?
04:11I shot it out of the sky.
04:13What?
04:20Um, so ma'am, that Don Darrell drawing shows all of his body parts that have been found,
04:24right?
04:24Right.
04:25Eddie thinks the rest has been eaten by crocodiles, but maybe you can use these parts to reinvestigate
04:30Don's cause of death?
04:30Yes.
04:31If all you want to know is that he died from dying.
04:33I really need Don's torso.
04:35I know.
04:36I was just deluding myself for fun.
04:39Oh!
04:40Oh, sorry.
04:41That's the vibrator.
04:42Kath gave it to me.
04:43She said it's time I stopped being afraid of my own vagina.
04:46Okay.
04:47So, between the remains that Toby ate and the drone footage that I haven't seen but I hear
04:52is wonderful, we can establish Don's Donga as our primary crime scene.
04:57Yes, it looks like this scene's been cleaned and judging by the water runoff, I think it
05:00was pressure hosed.
05:01But my team and I are heading back down there to see what we can find.
05:04Lauren and Oliver and Toby are just having a quick coffee first.
05:08Together.
05:10This murder war's a real triumph, man.
05:11I know, I know.
05:12Leo did it.
05:13Leo?
05:14Yeah.
05:14There I knew you.
05:15I'm the mentor, they're my mentors.
05:18They wouldn't be lost without me.
05:19They're the wings beneath my wind.
05:20Hi.
05:21Oh my god, Leo!
05:22Sorry, sorry.
05:24I've been wearing bright colours to make my lurking less paranormal but it's not working.
05:27Yeah, no shit, mate.
05:28Invest in the bell.
05:29Leo, hi.
05:30I'm Abby.
05:31I worked with the mams back in Deadlock where we started out as colleagues but then became
05:35best friends for life.
05:36Nice to meet you.
05:37Okay, big eyes, come on, let's clear our spot for mementos.
05:40Okay.
05:41New team is assembled.
05:43Nobody fuck up.
05:44Right.
05:44Backpack.
05:45How are you going with that drone footage of Chomp?
05:47Collins is absolutely creamy to see that.
05:48I sent it to your email.
05:50Email?
05:50What?
05:51She's never had an email.
05:53I will get it up on mine.
05:54Okay, so our prime suspect is Chomp.
05:56What do we know about Chomp?
05:57Age, prayers, residential address, relationship to the victim.
05:59What are you going on about, mate?
06:00What do you mean?
06:01What do you mean?
06:02I mean, Chomp is not a person.
06:04Chomp is the Land of Crocs mascot.
06:06Oh, you never said that.
06:07Yes, I did.
06:08I said the killer is inside a Chomp.
06:10No, you didn't say that.
06:11That's fine.
06:11Please stop fighting.
06:12Yeah, I do get it.
06:13I am across the concept of a costume.
06:17Okay.
06:18What the shit's got up on you this morning?
06:20Nothing.
06:20Not getting enough sleep.
06:20Yes, I did.
06:21Not enough sex.
06:21Too much sex.
06:22How'd I fight with a calf?
06:23Fucking grumpy bum.
06:24Right, so, whoever is in Trump's costume must be on Jason Wade's payroll.
06:28Collins, how'd you go out of the Land of Crocs yesterday?
06:30Ah, yes.
06:31So, Wade said that the 300k payment was to, by King, three of his four PAs confirmed that
06:39Jason was out of town filming his TV show the night that Don was murdered.
06:42Is that a snake skin?
06:43Is that the skin of a snake?
06:44Just because Jason's alibi is sewn up like a Christmas turkey's asshole doesn't mean
06:49that he's not behind it all.
06:50What would Jason gain by killing Don?
06:53He has everything by the ability to make eye contact with a woman he doesn't want to
06:56sleep with.
06:57It's a classic territorial dispute, you know?
07:00Old bullcrog versus new bullcrog.
07:02Their business is a side by side.
07:03Jason probably wants to take over Don's part of the river.
07:06Colonising is a very hard habit to break.
07:07Okay, so you think Jason killed Don to get his land and he's delegated this task to high-density
07:13craft foam.
07:14Yeah, there's no way Puffy Peck's Jason is going to do the dirty work himself.
07:18That's why we've got to find out who he had in that chomp costume on Sunday night.
07:21Oh, yes.
07:23Mementos.
07:23What are the rules around me talking in this environment?
07:25You're not allowed.
07:26The floor is yours.
07:27Go for it.
07:28Flora, the singer from the pub, also works at Land of Crocs.
07:30She says that staff rotate being chomped due to OH&S.
07:33Oh, yeah.
07:34That'll be because of that Mickey Mouse.
07:35You know that story?
07:36So sad.
07:37Just sitting there.
07:38People coming up, taking their photos with him.
07:39Turns out he was dead.
07:41Stiffy Mouse.
07:42Flora also says that staff will wear chomp can't be claustrophobic.
07:46They have to be free of pubic lice and at least 5'9".
07:48Why's that?
07:49Stage presence?
07:49No, it's in order to see out of the mouth hole.
07:52Okay, let's get a suspect list together then.
07:54So how many staff does Jason have?
07:55Oh, I can plan that up, man.
07:56Nah, it's too boring, Big Ice.
07:58Backpack can do that.
07:59I need you to test this.
08:00Spoiler alert.
08:01It's a foot.
08:01Keep the card for you.
08:03I will put that up on the board.
08:04Okay, so Leo, Land of Crocs staff.
08:06Yep.
08:07So all up, including the CEO, that's Jason.
08:09And the celebrant, that is also Jason.
08:11Land of Crocs has just over 60 employees.
08:1360?
08:14That's super.
08:15Investigating.
08:16All 60 should be a breeze?
08:18Saying we're four people working out of a store room with a possible snake infestation.
08:21Alright, let's just go around to the Land of Dicks and give them a rat.
08:23No rats.
08:24His main staff won't be there.
08:25They'll be at the Bashnanza.
08:26It starts today and Jason's doing a meet and greet with his boys.
08:29Who's his boys?
08:30They work with Jason and appear on his TV shows.
08:33Okay, we'll head to the Bashnanza then.
08:35Leo, find out what time they're on and we'll question them about Sunday.
08:37Yeah, fuck yeah.
08:37Drop a quick line in.
08:38No, no.
08:39Something's weird with this foot.
08:40What is it?
08:41Soft nail issue?
08:42The autopsy said that a knife was used to cut up the body post-mortem, but I think that's
08:46wrong.
08:47The severance line on the tibia is too clean to be a knife.
08:50Look.
08:50No, thank you.
08:51It's a precision cut.
08:52I think the foot was removed by a motorised blade.
08:58A forensics van pulled up and parked in my spot before I could park in my spot and I'd
09:02like my spot back because it's my spot not their spot.
09:05Okay?
09:10Okay, so we need to interview Jason's boys and locate this motor blade weapon.
09:14Yeah, but ma'am, I really need to get something off my chest.
09:16Okay, right now?
09:17Yes.
09:17I'm so sorry I quit the police force to pursue my dreams.
09:20It's fine.
09:21I mean, now you're stuck with me.
09:22It's fine.
09:23And I'm in a hell of my own creation.
09:25It's really fine, Abby.
09:27Please don't forget me, ma'am.
09:28Okay, but they are driving off without you.
09:30Oh!
09:31Wait!
09:32Move it.
09:32Bye!
09:34Eddie, we gotta go.
09:35Yep.
09:35I need you to do a drill for me.
09:37Oh no, I can't.
09:38Senior Sergeant Heffin has asked me to supervise the removal and return of a Barrow Creek
09:41local by the name of, um, uh, Triple Pet.
09:45And Mr. Pet needs me.
09:46Okay.
09:47Look, I need you to search this address from mouth hole to crack hole, okay?
09:54Is this for the Don Daryl case?
09:56Yeah.
09:57100%.
09:57Do you have a warrant?
09:58Yeah.
09:58Yeah.
09:58I'm emailing it from my email right now.
10:00Bing!
10:00There you go.
10:01Eddie, come on.
10:02I'm coming.
10:03Yep.
10:03So Jason's boys aren't appearing until 2pm?
10:05Right.
10:06Flora's gonna help me cut the list down.
10:07She's been at Land of Crocs for three months and her loyalty's really waning.
10:10She's offered to call me a key.
10:11Oh, that won't be necessary.
10:12You should take her up on that.
10:13That won't be necessary.
10:14Okay, so while we wait for the boys to appear at the Bashnanza, let's search for our weapon.
10:18Mate, the killer would've just pissed it in the river.
10:21Okay, so we get some divers out there.
10:22No.
10:23You can't get divers.
10:24Why not?
10:25Are they at a conference?
10:26No, because it's a river, Collins.
10:28Huh?
10:29It's teeming with crocodiles.
10:30Oh, right, yes.
10:31Yeah, you can't swim in there.
10:32Uh, so what do you do?
10:33Well, we used to have a community swimming pool.
10:35Well, that's what the diamond board is there.
10:36You should see me jump off out of the yard.
10:37How do you search the river?
10:39Eddie.
10:39Use a big magnet.
10:41A big magnet?
10:43What is this?
10:44Looney Tunes?
10:46Okay, great.
10:47Great.
10:47Where do we find ourselves a big magnet?
10:50No, you don't.
10:51Um, right here in Barrow Creek.
10:53I know a local with one.
10:55Well, aren't you very much good there, Robert?
10:58It's all right.
10:59That said it even before.
11:01Okay.
11:02We've got to get him home first, but then it'll be 50% to me cash, right?
11:0850% to Rog, because it's his boat, but it's my big magnet.
11:12Right, and your big magnet, that works, yes?
11:13Oh, yeah, it's how we found all my Christmas presents growing up.
11:16Fuck up, Edwina.
11:17You fuck up.
11:18What eight-year-old wants a fucking car park covered in fish shit?
11:21It was a catalytic converter.
11:23They're worth coins.
11:24Can you not antagonise your dad?
11:26We need him today.
11:27Okay, we've ordered our offer.
11:28It's now $300 an hour.
11:30Fuck no.
11:30Look, he's taking the piss.
11:32Okay, we won't do it then.
11:33No worries.
11:33No worries.
11:34I'll get my own fucking magnet.
11:35Sure, sure, sure.
11:38Yes.
11:39$300 every single hour is a great deal.
11:41We appreciate your help, Frank.
11:43Don't we, Edwina?
11:43I've got my fucking eye on you too, you rat-dog crop thieves.
11:46All right.
11:47No one gets paid till Dickhat delivers.
11:49Hey, Rog, listen to this one.
11:50No fuss, right?
11:52Who's been an old man?
11:53Because you are my old man.
11:55I've had front row seats to your bullshit for four decades.
11:57I know what you're capable of.
12:00Go to the car.
12:01See you, triple cat.
12:03Come on, push him down.
12:04Okay, well, we will need to start out at Don's Donga.
12:08Fuck my big long dick.
12:11Who took the sack of his head?
12:13That is the piece of car for fuck's sake.
12:15Oh, Eddie, we've got to get to the Bashnanza.
12:20The butterfly farm was actually great.
12:22I had no idea how many butterfly eat corpses.
12:25You know, it's definitely worth it.
12:27Anyway, that's it.
12:28That's it for my plans for the day and for the rest of the trip, actually.
12:33I'm going to get into my book from the pub book swap,
12:37Breathless Falls.
12:38Have you read it?
12:39Didn't my mums have it on their bookshelf?
12:41I grew up with two mums in Sydney.
12:42They were 78ers.
12:43My first car was a pride float.
12:45It was decorated like the island of Lesbos, so yeah, you know.
12:48Fair to say Barrick Creek's the straightest context I've been in for a while.
12:52Aside from that one Ed Sheeran concert that I went to,
12:54which was awful, it was so sad.
12:57I love that there's another queer person in town, Leo.
13:01We just get each other, don't we?
13:02Sorry, Leo, sorry.
13:05Was I gone for long because I went to get a ward on
13:07and totally forgot about you and had a nap?
13:09Wait, what are we doing again?
13:10Oh, Land of Crocs employees.
13:12Okay.
13:13I'm going to leave you guys to it.
13:14Let me know if you need anything.
13:16Like head massages or legal advice.
13:20I'm a vet too.
13:21If you've got a Brahmin cow that leads antibiotics,
13:23I'll be over here.
13:24I'm going to be relaxing.
13:25I'm on holiday after all.
13:28Okay, so those two flew from last month.
13:31I don't know where that guy went.
13:32They would borrow this too.
13:34That takes 100% capable of murder, but she's only 4'11".
13:38Liv!
13:39I'm going to get the phone!
13:39He's still here, unfortunately, and Rasheen fucked that guy.
13:41Now he lives in a Reiki tent on an avacodophone or something.
13:46Barra Creek Pub, this is Kath.
13:50Welcome to the mountain of opening to the Big Barra Bashtanza,
13:53where one lucky fish-o could catch the golden barra worth $200,000.
13:59$200,000?
13:59$200,000?
14:00That's a lucrative bloody fish beefy.
14:02But remember, fellas, with over 4,000 barramundi released into the river for the Bashtanza,
14:06every one of you has a shot at winning a daily prize if you catch a big one.
14:10And now, on the Guts Hub stage, he's hot on the chopper.
14:14It's the star of Jason Wade's Adventures Down Under Adventures from Down Under.
14:19It's Jason Wade!
14:23Welcome to the Big Barra Bashtanza!
14:28Goal!
14:30This is German.
14:31How would he like it if we told him he couldn't go fishing?
14:34Boss!
14:37Come on, we're going!
14:39Oh, okay, good.
14:40Leo's eliminated a bunch of the Lander Croc staff,
14:43who could have been inside the chomp suit on Sunday night.
14:45Sanitation's out, so is the aquarist.
14:47A lot of the croquettes have been deported to the UK,
14:50so that mostly just leaves the boys and a few others.
14:53Alright, Leo has sent the boys photos and bio.
14:56Oh, uh, no.
14:59No, I think they've accidentally just said the same man 15 times.
15:03Let's give it up for boys!
15:04Uh, no.
15:05Collins?
15:06They haven't.
15:07We got Ben!
15:08We got Sam!
15:10We got Nick!
15:12Miko and my boy Ben!
15:16Come on!
15:20Jesus Christ!
15:26Don't forget to head over to the Shimano Fishing Reel Marquis
15:29for the meet and greet with the boys.
15:31This line can suck my titties!
15:34Agreed.
15:34Join the reserves?
15:35No.
15:36No, thank you, no.
15:41So...
15:43How do you flirt with girls?
15:45You all just weather chat or the other topics that work as well?
15:49What?
15:50Well, you know, like at the camp, like you and Kath, you frock on about the weather
15:53and then immediately you're fiddling each other's bits.
15:55So I was just wondering...
15:56Oh, God.
15:58That's...
15:58No.
15:58Do you all...
16:00What about weather in particular?
16:02We're not talking about this.
16:03Mist, soft, wet.
16:04We're not talking about this, Eddie.
16:05Enough.
16:05Hey, a croc boy's on the move.
16:07You stay here.
16:08We're conquering the world.
16:08No, Eddie.
16:09Please don't leave me here with all of the...
16:17Okay.
16:18Eddie?
16:23Next, please.
16:25Next way to keep it...
16:26No, I just...
16:27G'day, g'day.
16:29Name?
16:30Uh, Detective Dolsey Collins.
16:32We met yesterday.
16:33Good stuff.
16:33Gripping a rod today?
16:34Uh, no.
16:35I am here in regards to...
16:38Sensational.
16:38Lizzie Fano.
16:39Very special to meet you.
16:40Who's next?
16:46Thanks for dropping me off, guys.
16:48Really appreciate it.
16:49Just leave me alone at a crime scene
16:51where a man's been chopped up
16:52and a violent murderer is on the loose.
16:54Cool.
16:54Yeah, I'll just sit here on a platter for them
16:56till you're ready to pick me up.
17:00What is that?
17:07Oi!
17:08Ducky!
17:08Be careful.
17:09You're in the lunge position there.
17:12Oh!
17:13Oh!
17:16Uh, Detective Dolsey Collins,
17:22I want to ask you a few questions
17:23in relation to an ongoing investigation.
17:26Absolutely.
17:27Hundred percent, Ducky.
17:27Uh, Dulsey, where were you six nights ago
17:30on Sunday the 9th of October?
17:31Oh, I was down in Goombineer River in West Arnhem Land, Ducky,
17:33filming Adventures Down Under.
17:35Adventures from Down Under.
17:36And can anyone verify that?
17:37Yeah, absolutely.
17:38Hundred percent.
17:38All the boys were there.
17:39Right.
17:39Uh, who?
17:40Hannah was there.
17:41Darcy was there.
17:42Josh was there.
17:42Tom, Ned, Mick was there.
17:45Yo!
17:45Hey, Mick, I'm just answering questions for Dicky.
17:47You're all good.
17:48Dulcy.
17:48Dulcy's questions.
17:49Uh, who else was there?
17:50Ben, Rory, Seb, Jed.
17:52And you're Jed?
17:54No, no, mate.
17:54I'm Ned.
17:55Right, sorry, yes.
17:56Uh, sorry.
17:57So did Jason take all of you boys?
17:59You know, Mick, Sam, Ned, the Benz, et cetera, filming on Sunday?
18:03Yeah, yeah, Dick.
18:03Yeah, all the boys were out there Sunday night.
18:05There he is!
18:06Ah!
18:06I'll stick my finger up your ass!
18:08Detective!
18:09Um, I need you out the river real quick.
18:11It's going up there!
18:12So you and all your crock pocks were all shooting Jason's TV show on Sunday night,
18:15hooked together, cocked a bum like a barrel full of fucking fuck monkeys?
18:19Yeah, that's right.
18:20A hundred percent.
18:20Hey, good to talk to you, legend.
18:22Keep it real.
18:22What?
18:24Fuck me.
18:27Hey, Alira.
18:29Got any cocks?
18:30We haven't restocked them yet.
18:31They're out the back.
18:35I'll get you one.
18:40Fuck off me, Pete.
18:42Ah, comments.
18:43What's happening?
18:43What did you want?
18:44A fan of?
18:46I wasn't listening.
18:48Who wants to feed Batfish as a competition prize?
18:51We want money.
18:52Yeah, we've got money.
18:52We've got stuff to pay for.
18:53A pool.
18:54The broken boat.
18:55And also, Batfish again.
18:58Hey, you better stop that before Aunty hears.
19:00You know she loves Batfish.
19:01Hey, you lot.
19:02Hello, Pat.
19:03What are you doing here?
19:04I thought you'd be out there reeling in a big one.
19:07They wouldn't let us enter the Golden Barrow, even though Mav said he was 18 and then said
19:11it was 25.
19:12Well, that's because you know all the good fishing spots.
19:14They're afraid you're going to win all the money.
19:16That's right.
19:18Hey, mate, I don't think we've met.
19:20This is our cousin Mav.
19:21He's living with us now.
19:23He's fruit-toast intolerant, so we can't get mangoes anymore.
19:26Ah, Mav.
19:27You're Mickey's uncle's boy, right?
19:29You've stayed with her before.
19:30I knew it.
19:31I'll never forget a pair of cheeks I want to squeeze.
19:35Come on.
19:36What's the sick?
19:37Let's go.
19:38What's wrong with him?
19:39He looks okay.
19:40Nah.
19:40He's got a dog box.
19:42Alright, you guys want a lift back to Barrow?
19:44Can we, Mav?
19:45No.
19:46Stupid.
19:47I don't want to walk.
19:48It's too hard.
19:49Stop lining up my phone, Collins.
19:50I'm on my way now.
19:52Oi!
19:54Alira!
19:54What the fuck are you doing?
19:56Where's my fucking coke?
19:57I'm on a break.
20:06Just stand back.
20:07Oi!
20:08Someone caught a big one.
20:09No, no, no one caught a big one.
20:10Okay?
20:11Okay, please get back.
20:12You're getting dangerously close to marbled frog hibernation burrows.
20:15Come on.
20:15Oi!
20:16Hey!
20:17You heard the lady.
20:18Move the fuck away from her special fucking frogs.
20:21Jeez.
20:21But come back tomorrow.
20:23And there's lots of info here about caring for country and other stuff that you don't give
20:27a shit about.
20:28Why are you always yelling?
20:30Why are you always yelling?
20:30That's the most foot traffic we've had.
20:31Oh, you shout too.
20:33No, that's you doing that.
20:34I'm soft as fuck normally.
20:36Fog on.
20:36Righto.
20:37Collins, I'm back.
20:38I'm coke-less.
20:38What have you got for me?
20:40Oh.
20:41Holy shit.
20:42Oh, fuck me.
20:44Yes, welcome to this.
20:47Mickey's colleague Isaac was out on his big dinghy boat and found it wedged in some mangroves.
20:53Yeah, did he say where?
20:54Nah.
20:55He dumped it here, said he was too traumatised to work, browsed for sunglasses on his phone
21:00for 10 minutes.
21:00Then he went to his other job at Knob Nightclub, so he's clearly torn up.
21:04Okay.
21:05So what have we got here?
21:07It's an anterior and posterior lower torso-pelvic region encompassing the genitalia and anus
21:16there.
21:17So it's a dick bum.
21:18A dick and a bum.
21:19Yeah, it's a dick bum.
21:19Yeah, that's what it is.
21:20It's a dick bum.
21:22It's a dick bum.
21:27I'm going to go get a coke.
21:28Yeah.
21:33What?
21:34Nothing.
21:35Fuck off.
21:35Yep.
21:36Alright, I'm going to call forensics, but it does fit Don's profile.
21:39The right mystical's missing.
21:41Okay.
21:41I'll just confirm with my dick stick.
21:42No, don't confirm with it.
21:43Don't confirm with a stick.
21:45Don't.
21:45Use a stick, Eddie.
21:46I suspected no right tentacle.
21:47Tentacle.
21:48Tentacle.
21:48Tentacle.
21:48I just told you that.
21:50Yeah.
21:51Don't.
21:51Yucky.
21:52Don't.
21:53Yuck, Eddie.
21:54Hi, ma'am.
21:55Abby.
21:55I'm glad you called so I can officially log with someone that I'm alive.
21:58For now.
21:59We need you out here at the Bashnanza.
22:01Don's pelvis is turned up.
22:02I know it's not the full torso, but it would still be good for you to have a look.
22:05Okay, but I'm going to be a while.
22:06I'm getting a lift with some fishermen who won't tell me their names.
22:09One's giving me nothing, and the other says he's Mr. Surname Redacted.
22:12Oh, also, I found oil residue in the water near Don's Jetty.
22:15It's where Trump's boat was moored.
22:17According to the fishermen, if there's oil in the water, it means the boat's leaking fuel.
22:21And if the boat's leaking fuel, that means the engine's fucked.
22:24Yeah, it's fucked.
22:25Right, okay.
22:25So we're looking for a Land of Crocs employee who owns a boat with a faulty engine.
22:29Yes, ma'am.
22:30Maybe I can trace the journey of the tinny via the fuel trail?
22:35Oh, the fishermen are nodding, ma'am.
22:36It's Leo, my mentors.
22:37Bye, ma'am.
22:38Backpack, what you got for me?
22:39Yes, hello to you.
22:41There's three Land of Crocs staff who Flora and I can't account for on Sunday night.
22:45One of them used to work for Don Darrell.
22:46Who?
22:47His name is Stephen Houlahat.
22:48Goes by the name of Spud.
22:50He's a local.
22:51Do you know him?
22:54Hello?
23:05Wait, what do you just want to do this afternoon?
23:07Oh, go for a swim.
23:08I'm hot.
23:09Where?
23:10They put road over the pool to make it a road.
23:12We could play Waffle House.
23:13Meow.
23:14Mom down for me, it's an iPad game where you own a waffle shop run by cats.
23:18And there's a secret shopper who's a bunny rabbit and...
23:20Wait, let's cut for real.
23:21Wait, it's illegal to go in the DIR.
23:23There's aliens in there.
23:24They suck your brains out your nose.
23:26Come on, it'll be way faster.
23:30What if there's mid men?
23:31Come on, Terry.
23:32Hurry up, Terry.
23:38Mav, we're going to cop an earful if mum knows it'll come here.
23:45Aw, deadly.
23:46What?
23:47What?
23:48Cool.
23:55So, Mr. Houlahan, we are trying to...
23:58Oi, Chicken Dickens, where were you on Sunday night?
23:59Don't say you were filming Jason's TV show because we know you weren't.
24:03Yeah, enough.
24:03You've been spying on me again.
24:05You're obsessed.
24:06Stalker.
24:07Coming back for more.
24:08Oh, I...
24:09Oh, Mr. Houlahan...
24:10Cut it out.
24:10Don't give one golf job in 1995, okay?
24:13Get over it.
24:13It wasn't even good.
24:14I spit on your dick afterwards.
24:15Okay.
24:16We know that you weren't filming on Sunday night because there is a list of people who are
24:19filming on Sunday and that list does not include your name.
24:23Your real name.
24:23Or your potato nickname.
24:26What do you do for Jason Wade?
24:28Mr. Houlahan.
24:29I know what he does.
24:30He bumps off Don Darrell's, chops them up into little pieces like an octopus on a teppanyaki grill
24:35so Jason Wade can take over Best Best's stretch of river and expand their universal cocks.
24:39No.
24:40You're talking out your week.
24:41Come on.
24:42It's the only job he can get.
24:43Look at that face.
24:43No one's going to put it on the telly, are they?
24:45It's like drop carbonara.
24:46I'll fuck you.
24:47Fuck you.
24:48You suck my dick.
24:49No, you suck my dick.
24:50Yes!
24:52Thank you for your precious time, Mr. Houlahan.
24:55Eddie, we're done here.
24:56What?
24:56No, we're not done.
24:57Collins, we're not.
24:58Fuck.
24:59Fuck.
25:00Oi!
25:01Collins, why are we done?
25:02It's not Spud.
25:08Well, like Leo said, our suspect in the chomp costume would have to be at least 5'9 to see
25:12out the mouth bit.
25:14How tall are you?
25:15Six foot.
25:15Good.
25:17Our suspect would have to come up to at least here and you and Spud were eye to eye and
25:22only came up to here.
25:23Till height.
25:25Spud's not our chomp.
25:26Fuck.
25:29Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben!
25:32You!
25:33Ben!
25:35Oi!
25:36You could put it out the fucking back!
25:38I was told to drop it in the blue station.
25:40What's that say?
25:41Fucking blue station.
25:42Have a look, it looks like shit.
25:43Have a look through it, might get a Christmas present.
25:45You better not have taken anything out of there.
25:47What's that supposed to mean?
25:49You know what I mean.
25:51Hi, man.
25:52I'm still alive.
25:53I'm still alive.
25:53He's got a laugh wax.
25:54We paid you for that shit.
25:56So you met Eddie's dad?
25:58What?
25:59What?
25:59That's a hair.
26:01Oh, that makes so much sense, man.
26:05Uh, Pat, can you get Luke to go through this?
26:08Look, I'm not exactly sure where Luke is, but to be honest, I'm not upset about it.
26:13Don't stress that.
26:14I can help.
26:15What am I looking for in here?
26:16A weapon.
26:17A motor blade type weapon.
26:18No problem.
26:20Ow!
26:21Oh, I've got a slip disc.
26:23I can help you, man.
26:24I can...
26:24Hey, Ellie!
26:26Are you done at the Donger?
26:27Yes, Lauren.
26:28I was done at the Donger hours ago.
26:30Okay, well, we've got the pelvis and we're going back to the city.
26:33Do you need a lift?
26:33Of course I need a lift, Lauren.
26:35I don't have a fucking car.
26:39Okay.
26:40I'll look at the body parts when I get access to the lab and then I'll see if Toby's shut
26:43out the toe
26:44and then I'll go into debt renting my own car so I can come back here tomorrow.
26:48Okay?
26:48Okay, great.
26:49Happy that they are driving off without you again.
26:51Oh, fuck me, Dad!
26:53Wait!
26:56Wait!
26:57Wait!
26:58Oh, fucking tunnel web in my asshole tunneling is right in my brain.
27:03Sorry, I did loud stomping.
27:05Turns out you were wrong before about that land grab modem.
27:08Ow!
27:09That slit disc!
27:10Pinches in the bum!
27:11Want me to help her?
27:12I'm fine.
27:12Is it sorting?
27:13Because I like sorting.
27:14Sure.
27:14Text for Mickey.
27:16Oh, did you?
27:17How did you get your number?
27:18Did you...
27:19You gave it to her?
27:20Did you give her your number?
27:21What? No, shut your hole.
27:22No, she just texted to say that Isaac found the dick bum in Stonkers territory.
27:28Mate, that's 30 k's upstream.
27:33Where the fuck is it?
27:35I know as much as you, Eddie.
27:37Remember how Eddie said that a possible motive for Jason Wade was wanting Don's land?
27:41Collins, did you take my very special map?
27:43No, no, I didn't take your special soggy foot map.
27:46So, Leo, Spud was a dead end, but you said that there were three staff left on the list.
27:51Yes, but this is better.
27:52Now, we're gonna check the other bins.
27:53So, I started looking into land titles, which led me to Crownland, which is a wild concept
27:57that I will podcast about if this goes to show.
27:59Okay, can I just get the highlights reel on that one, Leo?
28:01Don and Jason's properties don't neighbour each other.
28:04There is another piece of land betwixt them.
28:06Mm-hmm, yep.
28:07It's called the DRR, Dirks River Reserve.
28:09It used to be military land, but reverted to Crownland in 2008.
28:12Okay, so, oh my god.
28:14This is bigger.
28:15This one's bigger, Eddie.
28:16Pat, have you seen my map?
28:17It's got a really fun maze on it.
28:19Five years ago, a native title claim was submitted for the DRR.
28:22Soon after, Don lodged a challenge because he wanted that land.
28:25Right.
28:26Yeah, which means that Don is in a land dispute, just not with Jason Wade.
28:30Uh-huh.
28:30So, Eddie, you were kind of right.
28:31Stop talking.
28:33I'm putting a pin on you.
28:34Right, come and have a look at this.
28:35I've been thinking about where the body parts were found.
28:38Have a squeeze of this.
28:39Here is where the arm was found.
28:41That's Goliath's territory.
28:42Okay.
28:42The head was here in Titan's Patch.
28:45The foot was more downstream, where Monster is.
28:47But the dick bump, the dick bump.
28:49That was found all the way up here in Stonkers territory.
28:53Our killers chopped up old mate.
28:55Then they've taken their busted boat and is going from crock hole to crock hole,
28:58feeding Don to the bulls.
29:01Whoever killed Don, they know this river and they know these crocks.
29:09Leo, who is Don in the land dispute with?
29:12The Dungle Lava Corporation.
29:17Yes, a rabbit.
29:18I wasn't really happy only doing the tourist thing.
29:20And then Lynn offered me this job and I was like, yes.
29:23It's important to be part of the community and to contribute to it, isn't it, Rabbit?
29:27Hello, I'm Kath.
29:28What can I get you?
29:31Yeah.
29:31Yeah, I can.
29:32Yeah.
29:33Oh, here they are.
29:34Table for 36?
29:35No.
29:3635.
29:37We lost one to the fucking cops.
29:46Al, do you have any alternative coverings?
29:49A shirt, a poncho of some sort.
29:52I only have the John costume and it's too hot.
29:54They give me swamp nuts.
29:55Right.
29:56Yeah.
29:56Right.
29:57Well, that's best avoided.
29:59Hey, how long was this date?
30:00I'm on a date with Rasheen right now.
30:03We'll see.
30:04When was the last time you saw Don Darrell?
30:07I don't know.
30:07A couple of weeks ago maybe?
30:08Sorry guys.
30:09Sorry.
30:09Sorry to interrupt.
30:10I've just got to get in here and heat pack up for my back.
30:14Leo's helping with the weapon search now.
30:18I'm just getting zinged down my leg.
30:20Would you say...
30:24Would you say that you and Don Darrell are friendly?
30:28No.
30:28Don was always yelling at someone or something.
30:31Doesn't surprise me someone killed him.
30:33He was a prick.
30:35Wait.
30:36Why are you asking me?
30:39Oh, smells like microwave tuna.
30:42I'll tell you that he's not socialised, right?
30:44What adult sucks yoghurt from a pouch?
30:48I mean, you know, very weird.
30:51Anyway, I'll get out of your hair.
30:53Are you looking good, Al?
30:56Al, we know your family was involved in a land dispute with Don Darrell for ages, yeah?
31:00Says here it's been in court for five years.
31:02Five years.
31:03That is a long time.
31:04We've been waiting longer than that to get our land back.
31:07Fair enough.
31:08Yeah.
31:09So, Al, where were you last Sunday night at 11.30pm?
31:13I was at home.
31:14Really?
31:15Because this photo here was taken from a drone that was filming out at Don's Donger at that
31:19time.
31:20This is Don, and we think that the person in the chomp costume is you.
31:24That could be anyone.
31:25Well, no.
31:26The person here has a boat that's leaking fuel, and we know that your boat is busted,
31:29because your niece Cherry said she put dog biscuits in the fuel tank.
31:33You're also one of only two land of crock staff that are tall enough for the chomp costumes.
31:38You and a Roisin.
31:42Roisin.
31:42Roisin.
31:43Sheen.
31:43Last name.
31:45So, was it you or Mr Sheen?
31:47Look, it's not what it looks like.
31:49Really?
31:49Because what it looks like is you dragging a very dead Don Darrell up the jetty towards
31:53the Don.
31:54No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
31:55He wasn't dead.
31:56Okay, I was out in the river, and then I saw him struggling to get out of his boat because
32:00he was shit-faced.
32:01Okay, full horrors.
32:02So I helped him inside.
32:03So you didn't kill him?
32:04Cut him up?
32:05Beat him with the bull crocks?
32:05Like some kind of demon river santa?
32:07No, he was alive when I left him.
32:09Why were you on the river then?
32:10I was out there for special king tide cultural business.
32:13Oh, okay.
32:14Yeah.
32:14In your chomp costume.
32:16Yeah, I was stuck in it, and there was no one left that worked to help me.
32:18Well, yesterday at the Crocosphere, Jason Wade said no one knows this river and it's
32:24crocs like Al.
32:25Exactly.
32:25If I was a murderer, which I'm not, I'd never dump a body in a river where 4,000 fish
32:29have been
32:30released for the beshnanza.
32:31Crocs won't eat some old dead fella when there's fresh barra to eat.
32:34They're as smart as a chicken, but they have standards.
32:36I'm right, aren't I?
32:39None of Don's body parts are even eaten, eh?
32:41And yeah, my boat's busted up and it's leaking, but any fuel trail will lead from Don's jetty
32:45back to where I tie up near the creepy tree with the face.
32:48Cause after I got that racist prick into the donger, I went home and I watched TV.
32:53I am sorry, I have to take this.
32:56What did you watch on the telly then?
32:58Quaranix.
32:59About the Jamaican bobsled team.
33:00Can anyone verify that?
33:02The plot?
33:02Yes.
33:04Superintendent.
33:05Don't look away, Deb.
33:06You don't want to miss it.
33:08Sorry detective, I'm just down here at Mindal Beach watching the sunset with the in-laws.
33:12Have you been?
33:12No.
33:13No, I haven't.
33:14Oh, you're good to go.
33:15Look, I'm not religious, but this is my church.
33:17It's spectacular.
33:20Anyway, Jason Wade's been in touch.
33:23He's rakeable about his staff being questioned while they were on the job today.
33:27Yeah, I did not think that he recognised me.
33:29Well, these boys must have reported back.
33:31He's called all the higher ups too.
33:33So, do you have something on Jason?
33:35Because if you do, I'll absolutely be back here.
33:38No.
33:39No, we don't.
33:40We were following a line of inquiry that involved him, but recent developments suggest
33:45that neither Jason nor his staff had anything to do with Don's homicide.
33:50Oh, okay.
33:51I'll report back to HQ and put out some fires.
33:53Because currently Wade's clamped onto you and he doesn't want to let go until you've
33:56got no career left.
33:57Oh.
33:58Oh, that's super duper news.
34:00Yeah, look detective, I know we've only just met and I'm not across what happened
34:03in Tassie, but I do need to be kept in the loop with all this.
34:06Communication is kindness, as my daughter Alice says.
34:09Right before she sledges my footwear.
34:11Yes, of course, the superintendent.
34:13Oh, look.
34:14Deadlock wasn't the best reflection of my professional standards.
34:18Mistakes were made.
34:19Yeah, well, I know you're diligent.
34:21I've seen your handwriting.
34:22I thought it was tight.
34:23But from all reports, Detective Redcliffe doesn't share your respect for protocol.
34:28Look, Bernie, we're nearly there.
34:30Keep an eye on it.
34:31Obviously there's a chain of command.
34:32Now, Redcliffe directing Sergeant Ferguson to conduct a premises search today.
34:37That wasn't great.
34:38I mean, the fact that he found something's irrelevant.
34:40Here we go.
34:41So, sorry.
34:42Eddie did what?
34:46Do you know how unprofessional and foolish you made me look in front of the superintendent?
34:51You should have told me, Eddie.
34:52I'm telling you now.
34:53Okay?
34:53I got leaked into a property search.
34:55There you go.
34:55For what purpose?
34:56Frank's been up to his old tricks again, hasn't he?
34:58I wouldn't know, Eddie.
35:00Fucking shitty he was up to six months ago with me and Bushy put him away.
35:03I'm sorry.
35:04What?
35:04You put your dad away?
35:06What?
35:06Was he involved in a homicide?
35:08No, yes.
35:08Yes.
35:09It was a fucking homicide to me, okay?
35:10And when I saw my roommates in that call room last night, I knew, I knew he was doing
35:14it again.
35:14Doing what, Eddie?
35:16Poaching wild crocs, Collins, okay?
35:18Selling their bits on the black market and make fucking erection powders and little
35:21morbid wind chimes and shit, but don't take my word for it, come look.
35:23No!
35:24Frank poaching crocs might be illegal, but it is not relevant to Don Daryl.
35:27So I've been working our actual case, Eddie, but you, you've been having covert conversations.
35:31You've been unlawfully discharging weapons, requesting searches behind my back.
35:36You know, I knew when I saw him out here the other day.
35:38I fucking knew.
35:38I should've tweaked him.
35:39I should've fucking tweaked.
35:40When those pub witches let me out and I saw his scooter, I should've booked him.
35:44Behold, Frank's Craven, fucking black market crocodile empire.
35:49Yeah.
35:49It's a shock, isn't it?
35:51Oh.
35:53Right.
35:55Nah, there was fucking crocs in here.
35:56He's punching again that way he am.
35:58Oh, look at all that treasure.
36:01Let's go.
36:02Guys, I found a microphone.
36:04Wait, can I have this?
36:05Yes.
36:05What's this?
36:06Can I have this too?
36:07Yeah.
36:07Yeah, go ahead.
36:08We're red.
36:09Come on, let's go.
36:09Come on, your mum.
36:10Hey, this microphone still works.
36:21I swear.
36:22I swear.
36:23There were four crocs in here stepped up.
36:25One of them had no head.
36:25It was three full of wild salties.
36:27No head, huh?
36:29He's moved.
36:30Oh, my fucking cunt is moving.
36:32He's on our river search all day, Eddie.
36:35We do not have time for this.
36:37Put him in his shed.
36:39Hey, you two.
36:40I got a new job.
36:42And my tip's out.
36:43I'm Linz Barwin.
36:44Kath, have you seen my old man?
36:45Last two seconds from the end, puts 20 bucks down for a round.
36:47Oh, my God.
36:48That's your dad?
36:49No, no.
36:49He just took a call and left.
36:51Fuck.
36:51Someone's tipped him off about Moonboot.
36:53Okay, we have to get to his place.
36:54No.
36:55No.
36:55We have our own case, and clearly someone else went out to the donger after Al left.
36:59So, I need you here not fixating on your dad.
37:01No, I'm not going to let him poach one more of those magical creatures, okay?
37:04It's like you're falling a merman.
37:06I found something in the river drunk.
37:08I left it on your desk.
37:10Please tell me it's our motor blade weapon.
37:12No, it's not.
37:12See, Collins, it's nothing.
37:14We're in his ass.
37:15Come on, backpack.
37:16You're driving to Franks.
37:16Collins, check the river drunk.
37:17It's impasse, Eddie.
37:18It's impasse.
37:20And leave your dad alone.
37:24Bang it, Liam.
37:25Come on.
37:25If you see a buffalo, just smash through it.
37:27They don't belong here.
37:28I'm not smashing through a buffalo.
37:29I'm your mentor.
37:30I'm mentoring you to go faster.
37:31Well, I'm driving the speed limit.
37:33Fuck the speed limit.
37:33This is a clock emergency.
37:35I'm not fucking the speed limit.
37:36Go up his driveway.
37:39All right.
37:40Bang it up here, Leo.
37:41Hey, there it is.
37:42Can't break.
37:43Tokyo drifted.
37:44I don't know what drifting is.
37:45Nah.
37:46I'll run.
37:46Stop the car.
37:47I'm going to run you slower than a turtle doing a shit.
37:49Mr. McCullough serve dismount.
37:51Dismount rescue.
37:52Frank.
37:53Frank, don't talk to him.
37:54This is private property.
37:55Where's your warrant?
37:56Ah, there.
37:57There's your fucking one.
37:58What do you got for me, man, B?
37:59Um, it's just over here.
38:02Why can't you just do something normal for a living like everybody else's dad?
38:05Be a baker.
38:07Or a butcher.
38:08A fucking regional manager.
38:09What do you want about this?
38:10I saw the crocs in the cool room.
38:12You're up to your poaching shit again.
38:14I didn't poach any crocs.
38:16It was a stitcher.
38:17Oh, bullshit.
38:18All right.
38:19What do you got for me, Moonboot?
38:21What's he hiding out here, huh?
38:22What did you find?
38:27What the fuck is that?
38:54What's he hiding?
38:55Half-arse job.
38:56I can't even take a proper fucking hole.
39:01What have you got buried in here, eh?
39:02Crock heads.
39:03Crock tails.
39:04Crock dicks.
39:05Crock nuts.
39:06Hey, what are you trying to hide?
39:08Here we fucking go.
39:09I've struck croc bone here.
39:10What's this?
39:11What is that?
39:13This is Detective Dolsey Collins at Barrow Creek Police Station.
39:17We found a police issue handgun with two rounds missing.
39:20We're just hoping to identify the owner.
39:22Serial number V-8-6-4-6-3-November.
39:39What is this, Frank?
39:41Did you chop and chuck Don Daryl?
39:44Did ya?
39:54Next place, Thor?
39:57GPS
40:003
40:023
40:044
40:06You
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