00:00I became a shrunken person of myself. Very paranoid, angry person. One night I had gone
00:07missing for days and I went home and I went to my mom and I tried to get money from
00:13her
00:13because I needed to get. She tried to physically stop me from exiting the house and I went insane.
00:19I physically my mom. I harmed her. There was one night I went to this guy's house. I walked into
00:26the room and a friend of his and a friend of mine were standing in the room too and they
00:32took me in this bedroom. So I started screaming. I got into my car which I was lucky enough to
00:37have
00:37and I just drove to my mom's house. I went to my bedroom and I passed out and when I
00:43came to I
00:44needed and I needed people to use with and I with all of them like nothing had happened and that
00:51continued for years. So I thought I'm going to get in the car. I'm going to drive to my dad
00:56and I'm
00:56going to manipulate my dad. But as soon as I got to my father he locked me in a bathroom.
01:01So he took
01:02me to this rehab and this is where the shift happened. We were sitting in group therapy. They
01:07were asking me to tell my story and the counselor stopped me and she looked at me and she said
01:12how do you feel having used your cousin's death as an excuse to traumatize yourself and your family
01:19even further? And I sat there and I was like she's right. I've become that person and that's where I
01:25found surrender and it happened very slowly.
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