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Short filmTranscript
00:00:38Welcome back to the World Darts Championship.
00:00:41In this cricket match, Smith and Henriksen have closed the 20s through the 15s and have two bullseyes.
00:00:46They're also ahead by 20 points.
00:00:48Whitman and Keyes have closed the 20s through the 15s and have one bullseye.
00:00:52Alistair Whitman is going to need three bullseyes to win the first televised world championship.
00:01:01And he's really going to have to hit three because Henriksen has been hammering the bullseye all night.
00:01:06Well, if anybody can get a hat-trick, it's Alistair Whitman.
00:01:17Oh, that all but ends the match.
00:01:20He has to hit a double bullseye to win.
00:01:22And he's completely blocked it by engraving Smith and Henriksen on the trophy.
00:01:51Women and Keyes have won the world championship.
00:01:53I am Scott Smith.
00:01:55How did he do that?
00:01:56It's not human, I tell you.
00:01:57Somebody get down there and stop the Engrober.
00:01:59That is the greatest clothing store in the history of this game.
00:02:02Wrown by the greatest player in the history of this game.
00:02:05That's for you, weirdo mittens.
00:02:08Weirdo mittens.
00:02:33You were not in the CIA.
00:02:35Yes, I was.
00:02:36I was in Berlin when the wall came down.
00:02:38You think that happened by itself?
00:02:40You're so full of shit, Birch.
00:02:46All right, showtime, Mitch.
00:02:48Oh, showtime, baby.
00:02:55All right, all right.
00:02:57You got this, Hank.
00:02:58Only is one bullseye to win.
00:03:00Are you crazy?
00:03:01See, he hasn't hit a bullseye all night.
00:03:03No way.
00:03:03Well, I'm willing to bet you double or nothing on your bar tab.
00:03:05He's going to hit one right now.
00:03:07Oh, you're on.
00:03:08All right.
00:03:10You're due.
00:03:11One bullseye, okay?
00:03:13You got this, baby.
00:03:16Oh, you're on.
00:03:25Oh, you're on.
00:03:51what in the hell were you aiming at what do you think how the hell am i supposed to know
00:03:56you hit literally every other damn thing in the room except the bullseye you know hank
00:04:02that happens again the rules say that if you catch the dart before it hits the floor
00:04:08you can shoot it again thanks have you ever caught a dart that bounced off the board
00:04:12no have you ever seen anybody catch a dart that bounced off the board no have you ever even heard
00:04:18a story about someone catching a dart that bounced off the board no thanks that's great advice
00:04:24you're trying to be cute hank now i'm gonna kick your ass
00:04:29all right dude you got this come on
00:04:33showtime baby showtime drinks
00:04:55hey thanks for the drinks our pleasure anytime showtime baby showtime
00:05:14that loss drops us number eight in the standings one more and we're right out of the playoffs
00:05:19yeah dana was right i didn't hit a bull all night no bro you just gotta learn how to close
00:05:24the game
00:05:24well it doesn't help with you betting the whole tab on the match can we afford that
00:05:28i know i should have made a disclaimer like only their drinks like you couldn't buy for
00:05:33ian and virgil too but i'm an idiot sorry
00:05:40oh oh johnny ray he's just a kid from my home
00:05:46dude what are you doing
00:05:48talking about jackie yeah i just couldn't think of a song with jackie in it
00:05:53was that supposed to be come on eileen it's nowhere near the lyrics dude it's not about the song hank
00:05:59what i'm talking about here is closing the deal you only live once bro yeah okay when's the last time
00:06:05you went on a date i've dated most of girls around here i've just run out of options it's a
00:06:11small town
00:06:11i'm gonna die alone you won't have their hand shut up dude
00:06:18i am beat i know
00:06:23i'm never playing them again
00:06:25i'm done i hate them
00:06:26it's so stupid
00:06:28get them next time baby don't worry about it
00:06:30show time new show time
00:06:32hey hey
00:06:34diddle for the middle see who opens the morning
00:06:36dude
00:06:46have a good night man
00:07:13hey jackie
00:07:14hi hank
00:07:15how was the match last night
00:07:18tough one huh
00:07:19we'll bounce back
00:07:21you want something
00:07:22yeah uh just some flights i guess
00:07:24what do those ones say on them
00:07:26these
00:07:26uh the ones next one
00:07:29foxy mama
00:07:31it's funny because i was going to ask
00:07:33have you ever had one before
00:07:37um no
00:07:39really
00:07:40they're kind of awesome
00:07:41in fact you should come by the bar sometime
00:07:43we could have one together
00:07:45yeah i i really don't think that's going to be my thing
00:07:48come on you can at least try one
00:07:50i think you'll like it and if for some reason you don't
00:07:52i'll get you something else
00:07:54what the hell are you talking about hang
00:07:57what do you mean
00:08:02oh okay
00:08:03ah
00:08:04oh my god
00:08:05i thought you said um
00:08:06bahama mama like the drink
00:08:08ah
00:08:08okay
00:08:09yeah
00:08:10that makes way more sense
00:08:11i was like
00:08:12she wants to share a foxy mama with me
00:08:15have we met
00:08:15no
00:08:16um
00:08:17sorry
00:08:17it's in my head i heard bahama mama
00:08:19i've been making drinks way too long
00:08:21you still want them
00:08:23yeah i gotta get them now right
00:08:24it's two bucks
00:08:25don't even worry about it
00:08:26these are on me
00:08:29really
00:08:30you come in here almost every day and buy something
00:08:32i think i could let this slide
00:08:34oh
00:08:35thanks
00:08:36you're welcome
00:08:40um
00:08:41i gotta
00:08:42get back to work but
00:08:44thanks again
00:08:47and
00:08:48seriously
00:08:48if
00:08:49if you want to come by the bar one night i'll
00:08:51make us a couple of bahama mamas
00:08:54maybe it'll be your thing
00:08:56i might just take you up on that
00:09:01see ya
00:09:09hey hank
00:09:10you still haven't gotten my latest check from when i produced back to the future and i was wondering
00:09:15you did not produce that movie
00:09:16yes i did
00:09:17no you didn't
00:09:18i looked it up
00:09:19yes i did
00:09:20i'm the one who told bob to use a delorian
00:09:22do you know what the time machine was before that
00:09:25a refrigerator
00:09:27how bad would that movie have sucked if they used a refrigerator
00:09:30then how come you're not an imdb
00:09:32because i'm the uncredited guy behind the scene
00:09:35my ass
00:09:37you're a very kind young man
00:09:48and can i please bum off
00:09:50piss off
00:09:50here
00:09:51virgil
00:09:52someone left us here
00:09:54thanks buddy
00:09:55one of these days
00:09:56no worries
00:09:58all right
00:09:59another rusty nail
00:10:00make it a double
00:10:08bro
00:10:08this is pathetic
00:10:11we need to do a ladies night or something
00:10:13we've had three
00:10:14i've been wanting to do karaoke night though
00:10:16that could be cool
00:10:17yeah that could be cool
00:10:18but we need something
00:10:20something big
00:10:21something different
00:10:22some way to get people in here
00:10:24hey
00:10:24real people
00:10:25ah
00:10:26we gotta think outside the box
00:10:32let's uh
00:10:32let's go work on your bullseyes
00:10:34and we'll try to come up an idea
00:10:35yeah
00:10:37we gotta go look at that
00:10:40very clearly
00:10:40we gotcha
00:10:41muchasburns
00:10:41andeste we
00:10:41gotta say
00:10:41don't getshirts
00:10:41buy
00:10:41how
00:10:42do what
00:10:44hey
00:11:12See?
00:11:15I can hit the 20s through 15s all day.
00:11:17When it comes to the bullseye,
00:11:18I have some kind of mental block.
00:11:20Rusty nail.
00:11:21One minute, Ian.
00:11:21Don't think about it.
00:11:22Just try throwing the dart as fast as you can.
00:11:24That'll think.
00:11:29Crap.
00:11:30Still waiting on that drink, Hank.
00:11:32Yeah, Ian, one second.
00:11:34That's...
00:11:34That was better.
00:11:35Look at them.
00:11:36I don't know.
00:11:37Move your stance.
00:11:39A little bit, okay?
00:11:40Try throwing from a different angle.
00:11:41Switch things up, but don't think about it.
00:11:43Jesus Christ, give me those things.
00:11:44Would you, before you hurt yourself?
00:11:45Wait.
00:11:47You need some room.
00:11:54Rusty nail.
00:11:55Now.
00:12:00What the fuck?
00:12:13Was it two doubles in the one?
00:12:16Is that five bulls?
00:12:18Five.
00:12:18It was two doubles in the one, wasn't it?
00:12:20That was amazing.
00:12:23Yeah.
00:12:24How'd you do that?
00:12:25Here.
00:12:26On the house.
00:12:28How'd I do that?
00:12:29I imagine the bullseye was your face.
00:12:31Okay.
00:12:32You want to throw a game with us?
00:12:33No.
00:12:34Why not?
00:12:35Because you're idiots.
00:12:36Whoa.
00:12:37Who are you calling an idiot?
00:12:38I've sat here and watched you guys throw hundreds of games, and you suck ass.
00:12:42I'd rather throw darts at my own nuts.
00:12:45We're not idiots, are we?
00:12:47No.
00:12:48He's an asshole.
00:12:49Hank, turn this up, would you?
00:12:53Oh, what?
00:12:54Oh, Hank, with sugar and cinnamon and whatever the hell else you like, would you please turn
00:13:00this up?
00:13:02You could write a children's book.
00:13:05Hi, I'm Dirk McIntyre, and I'm standing outside Uptown Social with Nicky and Lance Gallia,
00:13:09the brother duo from Manchester, England, who some believe are the greatest to ever play
00:13:13the game of darts.
00:13:14They're here in Chicago to play for their 10th World Darts Championship, first time it's
00:13:17ever been held in our country.
00:13:19Welcome to America, gentlemen.
00:13:20Yeah, we're here to play some f***ing team from some f***ing place for the World F***ing
00:13:25Championship.
00:13:25Who gives a c***?
00:13:27Gentlemen, I need to remind you that we are on national television.
00:13:29Oh, so sorry.
00:13:31In that case, f***ing f***ing.
00:13:37So, you're playing the American champs Jules the Dutch Dragon Van Dongen and Chuck Pipes
00:13:42Puglio for your 10th World Title.
00:13:44Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:13:44Dutch Ovin' in the pips.
00:13:45We played him 100 times in every different format, and we're 100 now.
00:13:50It's embarrassing, honestly.
00:13:52We're embarrassed for the entire nation.
00:13:54But it would tie you with the legendary Alistair Whitman.
00:13:58F*** him the f***ing wanker.
00:13:59Again, national television.
00:14:01And he is considered to be the greatest art player that's ever lived.
00:14:04In fact, didn't he come out of retirement to beat U2 for the Manchester Cup?
00:14:08What the f*** would you bring that up for?
00:14:09He couldn't carry me f***ing sack him.
00:14:12We're the best that's ever been, and that's a f***ing sack.
00:14:15So, you've been in town for a while, and the rumor is that it's not just to tune up for
00:14:18the big match.
00:14:19We're there to record our first f***ing album.
00:14:22So, the rumor's confirmed.
00:14:24Is there anything you can tell us about the record?
00:14:26All you need to know, friend, is it's going to be the best f***ing thing you've ever f***ing
00:14:31heard in your own miserable goddamn life.
00:14:34Gotcha.
00:14:35Do you have a name for this upcoming record?
00:14:37No, we don't have a f***ing title yet.
00:14:38It doesn't f***ing matter, does it?
00:14:40It's going to be the biggest f***ing thing ever.
00:14:43I'm sure it will be.
00:14:45Is there anything you want to say to Jules and Chuck before the match?
00:14:47Yeah, yeah.
00:14:48F*** you, you f***ing tossers, alright?
00:14:51You f***ing f***er brains.
00:14:55So, f***.
00:14:57Understood.
00:14:59And fellas, before you go, I gotta ask, it's night time.
00:15:02Why are you two wearing sunglasses?
00:15:03Why did you?
00:15:04I'm about to punch you in the face right now.
00:15:06We have daytime sunnies, nighttime sunnies, rock and roll sunnies, and dark throwing sunnies.
00:15:11And we never, ever take off our sunnies.
00:15:15Do you even have sleeping sunglasses?
00:15:19F*** yeah!
00:15:25What a great couple of guys.
00:15:26Well, the best two out of three World Darts Championship match will be broadcast here
00:15:30from Uptown Social Live tomorrow night in Chicago.
00:15:33You won't want to miss it.
00:15:34What's his problem?
00:15:35Who gives a s***?
00:15:36Dude, we should go in the city and watch this match tomorrow night.
00:15:39Hell yeah, I'm down.
00:15:40Alright.
00:15:41Ooh, who's going to watch the bar?
00:15:45Eh, diddle for the middle.
00:15:47Heh.
00:16:12Hey, you made it.
00:16:13I couldn't go another day without trying a Bahama Mama.
00:16:17Coming right up.
00:16:19I'm going to take a beer and a whiskey meek.
00:16:23Showtime, baby!
00:16:25Showtime!
00:16:27Hey, buddy!
00:16:28Where's Hank?
00:16:30How about later we'll play for tonight's bar tab, too?
00:16:34Showtime, baby!
00:16:36Showtime!
00:16:37Don't you two have to get tired of being you two?
00:16:40No.
00:16:41No.
00:16:44There you are.
00:16:46Cheers.
00:16:47Cheers.
00:16:53That is really good.
00:16:54I told you.
00:16:56How are those flights treating you?
00:16:58They were good.
00:16:59Um, they're not Bahama Mama good, but they're not bad.
00:17:03Yeah, I came by last night and...
00:17:05You were here?
00:17:06Only for a second.
00:17:07You were throwing and I didn't want to bother.
00:17:09No, no, no.
00:17:09You should have said something.
00:17:11I was, um...
00:17:12I was looking forward to seeing you.
00:17:15Nick!
00:17:17Today's the day!
00:17:21You've always been so nice to me, and you're a very kind young man.
00:17:25I want to give you something.
00:17:27I appreciate it.
00:17:28Thank you, Virgil, but that's not necessary.
00:17:30No, no, no.
00:17:31I want to.
00:17:32You're very kind, and I hope I'm not offending you.
00:17:35No, no, no.
00:17:35You're not offending me.
00:17:36I'm just in the middle of something, so...
00:17:38Great, because you're very kind, and I want to give you something.
00:17:41Come here.
00:17:43I am here.
00:17:44No closer.
00:17:44It's a secret.
00:17:48Closer.
00:17:51What I want to give you...
00:17:52I'm not offending you, am I?
00:17:54Not with anything you've said.
00:17:57Good, because you're very kind.
00:17:59What I want to give you...
00:18:00It's about this big, and it's real.
00:18:04At least it feels real.
00:18:06I'm sure I'm not offending you.
00:18:07Um, I don't...
00:18:09I don't think so.
00:18:10I don't know.
00:18:11Well, a famous actor buddy of mine I met on Point Break,
00:18:15he gave this to me back in the 90s.
00:18:17I think he paid a fortune for it then.
00:18:20And it's real.
00:18:21Like I said, I mean, it feels real.
00:18:23And it's got real hair on it and everything.
00:18:27And I used to use it all the time.
00:18:29But I'm getting older and stuff, and I can't really get it going anymore.
00:18:34So now I want you to have it.
00:18:39Um, no.
00:18:41I don't think so.
00:18:43Do you understand what I'm trying to give you a hand?
00:18:45Yeah, I think I do, but I'm not...
00:18:47You're making a big mistake.
00:18:49This once belonged to...
00:18:50Jesus Christ, Virgil.
00:18:51No one wants your old, used, deathtrap of a pocket.
00:18:53Okay.
00:18:54Thank you, Ian.
00:18:57I'm sure you don't want it.
00:18:58Ugh.
00:19:02Make some noise!
00:19:03Come on!
00:19:05Representing the United States of America,
00:19:08the challengers!
00:19:10Let's hear it for Jules, the Dutch Dragon Van Doggen,
00:19:14and Chucky Plank Paleo.
00:19:16Here at Chucky!
00:19:18Chucky!
00:19:18Chucky!
00:19:20Jules!
00:19:21Jules!
00:19:22Jules!
00:19:23Jules!
00:19:23Make some noise for these guys.
00:19:24Come on, let's hear it.
00:19:26Everybody say, oh yeah!
00:19:28Yay!
00:19:29Hey.
00:19:30Thanks for the bar tab.
00:19:32They don't make it to a third game.
00:19:35And from Manchester, England, ladies and gentlemen,
00:19:38the defending nine-time world champions,
00:19:42the undisputed masters, my friends.
00:19:45They're going for the record tonight.
00:19:46They're going for number 10.
00:19:48You think they can do it?
00:19:49Well, ladies and gentlemen,
00:19:50let's hear it for Nikki,
00:19:52the match-up to a smaller, Galleon,
00:19:55and Lance Prettybar, Galleon.
00:19:57The Galleon Brothers.
00:19:58Let's hear it.
00:20:04Woo!
00:20:05Woo!
00:20:05Woo!
00:20:06Woo!
00:20:06Woo!
00:20:07Woo!
00:20:08Woo!
00:20:10Hello, ladies and gentlemen,
00:20:11and welcome to tonight's World Darts Championship match.
00:20:14I'm joined in the booth by the one and only
00:20:16former national champion himself, Sean Grafton.
00:20:18Welcome aboard, Sean.
00:20:19Thanks a lot for having me, Dirk.
00:20:20Glad to be here.
00:20:21Absolutely.
00:20:22So, do you have any thoughts on tonight's match?
00:20:25The Americans are going to have a tough road ahead of them.
00:20:26The Galleon Brothers are the best team in the world
00:20:28and have never lost a single game to Jules and Chuck.
00:20:30They have a tough road indeed.
00:20:32Do you have any advice for them?
00:20:33I would tell the Americans,
00:20:34since there's a lot of bad blood between the two teams,
00:20:36just to relax.
00:20:37Don't let the Galleon Brothers get under their skin.
00:20:39Sounds like good advice.
00:20:40Well, let's go down to the Yaki
00:20:42as the match is about to begin.
00:20:44Hey, do we get free drinks in the booth
00:20:46or do I have to bring my own?
00:20:48Hello, gentlemen.
00:20:50Shake hands and shoot well.
00:20:52Uh-huh.
00:20:52For fuck's sake.
00:20:54You two mugs again.
00:20:55America is fucking huge.
00:20:57There's got to be somebody better than you two
00:20:59from sea to shining sea.
00:21:01You would have beat your assholes
00:21:02and he'll decide if you didn't cheat.
00:21:03Who the fuck needs to cheat to beat you two tossers?
00:21:06What do you call messing around
00:21:06every time we're with the board?
00:21:07Okay, okay, fellas.
00:21:09Go back to your tables
00:21:10and let's play some darts.
00:21:14You know,
00:21:15I haven't thrown darts in about a month.
00:21:20This one's for your mums.
00:21:23And this one...
00:21:24He just hit a triple 20
00:21:25without even looking at the board.
00:21:27Then a triple 19.
00:21:28And this last one...
00:21:28He can't possibly hit the 18 too, can he?
00:21:31Oh, my God, he did it!
00:21:33He threw a white horse without looking.
00:21:35That's even more amazing
00:21:36than Jordan's no-look free throws.
00:21:38It's unbelievable.
00:21:40Where's my drink?
00:21:41That was amazing.
00:21:43I'm telling you,
00:21:44they're the best ever.
00:21:49It's going to be impossible
00:21:50to overcome that amazing turn at the hockey.
00:21:54Let's go!
00:21:55We're going to be releasing
00:21:56our greatest stints album
00:21:57before you throw a dart.
00:21:58Why don't you show some sportmanship
00:22:00and let me take my turn?
00:22:02Hey, pull that shit again
00:22:03like you did in Germany.
00:22:03I'm going to kick your ass.
00:22:10The galleons have completely
00:22:11taken the wind out of their sails.
00:22:16A single 17.
00:22:22Is this some kind of a joke?
00:22:24This is the best your country is to offer?
00:22:27The bad blood continues.
00:22:31Chuck just threw a punch at Lance.
00:22:33Oh, it looks like he may have hit Jules.
00:22:34I broke my nose.
00:22:35What the hell just happened?
00:22:36Fuck your nose,
00:22:37I broke my down hand.
00:22:41Drinks!
00:22:42The match has been cancelled.
00:22:44The match has been cancelled.
00:22:46This is the first
00:22:47world darts championship
00:22:48that's going to be a no decision.
00:22:49It's unbelievable.
00:22:50I've never seen anything like it.
00:22:51There's still time to get my drink
00:22:52and do this at the time.
00:23:07What in fuck is wrong with you?
00:23:09Can't you see we're creating?
00:23:10We have a problem.
00:23:13You're about to have a bigger one
00:23:15when I shove this face up your ass.
00:23:18What do I get?
00:23:20Wilkins and Williams.
00:23:23There's Hooper and Michaels.
00:23:25No piss off.
00:23:26I don't know.
00:23:27Why do we have to play
00:23:29any of these twat waffles anyway?
00:23:30Because we are trying
00:23:32to bring this sport to America
00:23:33and if you want to be global stars,
00:23:36sell out your music tour here
00:23:37and get minted,
00:23:39then we need a championship match
00:23:41where you don't start a fight
00:23:43and insult the entire nation.
00:23:45Well, I'll feel sorry for them
00:23:46if that's the best day out
00:23:47because those two
00:23:49are a couple of muggy bitches.
00:23:51See, that's exactly
00:23:52what I'm talking about.
00:23:54And by the way,
00:23:55we're sick of playing
00:23:56fucking cricket.
00:23:58You threw exactly
00:23:59three dots at cricket.
00:24:01What are you talking about?
00:24:03This was just delivered
00:24:04for the Galleon brothers
00:24:05and the man said
00:24:06it was urgent.
00:24:08It's probably another love letter
00:24:10from Emma Watson.
00:24:12Boy, is he still here?
00:24:15No, he left immediately.
00:24:16What does it say?
00:24:19I have something you want.
00:24:21You have something I want.
00:24:23If you want a chance
00:24:24to win back the only trophy
00:24:25if you ever lost them,
00:24:29we found our team.
00:24:31Dark side of the moon?
00:24:35They're a level C pub team.
00:24:38You'll destroy them.
00:24:39I know.
00:24:40It's bloody perfect.
00:24:53Hey, how much dough
00:24:56you got in the bank?
00:24:58Not a lot.
00:24:59Why?
00:25:02Is everything okay?
00:25:03Yeah.
00:25:04Oh, yeah.
00:25:05Yeah, I was just curious.
00:25:07That's all.
00:25:09Hey!
00:25:11Hey, come on in.
00:25:12It's ladies' day.
00:25:15First drink's on the house.
00:25:17Yeah, come, sit down.
00:25:19I'll tell you about the time
00:25:21I had dinner
00:25:21with the president of Botswana.
00:25:24I think we're in the wrong spot.
00:25:26No, no, no.
00:25:26No, no, this is the right spot.
00:25:28We can throw in a second round, too.
00:25:33Oh, you know,
00:25:34they just texted.
00:25:35They're at the Ritz.
00:25:36Oh, great.
00:25:37Let's go.
00:25:38Wait, come back.
00:25:40We can do a third round.
00:25:42What the hell, Virgil?
00:25:44What did I do?
00:25:48I thought that third round might...
00:25:51Hi, I'm looking for Hank Fuller
00:25:53and Austin Turner.
00:25:56I'm Hank, and this is Austin.
00:25:59Who are you?
00:26:00Some sort of dill collector?
00:26:02No.
00:26:03I'm Lester Harrison,
00:26:04chairman of the Championship Darts Corporation.
00:26:07Oh, crap.
00:26:08I think I forgot to send in our dues.
00:26:09This isn't about that.
00:26:11This is something much different.
00:26:13I'm here to offer you boys
00:26:14the opportunity of a lifetime.
00:26:16How would you like to play the Galleon Brothers
00:26:19for the Darts Championship of the World?
00:26:24What?
00:26:25Is this some kind of joke?
00:26:26No, this is completely on the level.
00:26:28After the no decision last night,
00:26:30we've decided to give an unknown team
00:26:33a shot at the title,
00:26:34and we've chosen you.
00:26:38Why?
00:26:39Picture this.
00:26:41An unknown team comes from nowhere
00:26:44with a shot at the greatest title
00:26:48in the world of darts.
00:26:50Think of what it'll do for the sport.
00:26:52For every little kid who ever picks up a dart
00:26:54and dreams that maybe one day
00:26:56they too can be a world champion.
00:27:00Will you pay anything to play?
00:27:03No, but $100,000 goes to the winner.
00:27:09We'll do it.
00:27:11Wait a minute.
00:27:11Wait a minute.
00:27:12Wait a minute.
00:27:12We're not going to win $100,000.
00:27:14We can't even meet Mitch and Dana.
00:27:16These guys are going to destroy us.
00:27:17Yeah, of course they are.
00:27:18It's going to be a massacre.
00:27:20Who cares?
00:27:21This is what we've been looking for, Hank.
00:27:24The promo for the bar.
00:27:26It's going to be on TV, right?
00:27:29See?
00:27:29This is amazing.
00:27:30We can wear our pub t-shirts,
00:27:31the whole country to see.
00:27:33Talk to the beachers,
00:27:34see they'll do an article on us.
00:27:35I don't know, get on the radio,
00:27:37talk about the match,
00:27:38promote the bar.
00:27:39This is amazing, bro.
00:27:40Austin.
00:27:41I'm Hank.
00:27:43Hank.
00:27:44Your mate is making a lot of sense.
00:27:46What do you say, gentlemen?
00:27:48Hell yeah.
00:27:49We're in.
00:27:54Awesome.
00:27:56All right.
00:27:57Let's get started.
00:28:05A decade later, I can say
00:28:11Finally broke the scale
00:28:17To every rule a consequence
00:28:23Remind me where I've been
00:28:32Don't stay
00:28:36I would be better to wait
00:28:44Don't stay
00:28:49I'm feeling me so entangled
00:28:56All right.
00:28:57Guys, guys, it's coming on.
00:29:05It looks like there's been a shakeup
00:29:06in the world of darts.
00:29:08In an unprecedented move,
00:29:09the Championship Darts Corporation
00:29:11has chosen
00:29:13Dart Side of the Moon,
00:29:14an unknown Michigan City team
00:29:16to play for the World Darts Championship.
00:29:18Do we know what city
00:29:20in Michigan they're from?
00:29:21Michigan City, Indiana!
00:29:24Anyways,
00:29:24the match will take place
00:29:25this Saturday at 8 p.m.
00:29:27here at Uptown Social.
00:29:28You can catch it here, live,
00:29:29but if you'd like to go down
00:29:30and cheer on the underdogs in person,
00:29:32you might want to get there early
00:29:33because this one probably won't last long.
00:29:35Good luck, fellas.
00:29:38That sucked.
00:29:41Well, I should get back to the shop.
00:29:44But I thought it was great.
00:29:48Hey, Jackie,
00:29:51do you want to come
00:29:52to the match on Saturday?
00:29:54They're going to destroy us
00:29:55and it's going to be really embarrassing,
00:29:56but it would be cool
00:29:58to have you there.
00:30:01I bought a ticket
00:30:02the moment you told me about it.
00:30:13Are we going to make
00:30:14complete fools of ourselves
00:30:15on national TV?
00:30:17Yeah, you will.
00:30:18Unless you do exactly what I say.
00:30:20What happened to you?
00:30:23You want a chance to win?
00:30:25Win what?
00:30:26The World Darts Championship, Hank.
00:30:28We're not trying to win.
00:30:30They're the best ever.
00:30:31Don't be ridiculous.
00:30:32They are not the best ever,
00:30:33but with that attitude,
00:30:34you will make asses of yourself.
00:30:36Do you think we actually
00:30:37have a chance to beat them?
00:30:38I know this.
00:30:39If I teach you and coach you,
00:30:41you will not go on national television
00:30:43and look like complete morons.
00:30:48I don't know.
00:30:49What are you going to do in a few days?
00:30:50We're certainly not going to get any worse.
00:30:52Besides,
00:30:53we should try to be our best, right?
00:30:54We're going to be shooting on national TV,
00:30:56playing with shirts with Michigan City
00:30:58and the pub on them.
00:30:59We can't show up like
00:31:00we don't give a shit, right?
00:31:04All right.
00:31:05All right.
00:31:06Let's get to work.
00:31:06We got a lot to do.
00:31:08Now?
00:31:08Now!
00:31:12Can we get some more drinks here?
00:31:14Yeah, sure.
00:31:14What are you doing?
00:31:16Going to go get some drinks?
00:31:17No, no, no, no.
00:31:18We're training.
00:31:19What about our customers?
00:31:21It's not my problem.
00:31:22Find a solution now.
00:31:26Well, I guess we don't need any drinks.
00:31:28Hold on.
00:31:30I didn't give an idea.
00:31:33What about...
00:31:35You think?
00:31:36He's always here anyway.
00:31:39Yeah, sure.
00:31:40Why not?
00:31:41Hey, Virgil.
00:31:43You want a...
00:31:44job?
00:31:46Doing what?
00:31:47Tend and bar.
00:31:48We can't pay much
00:31:49and you're going to make crappy tips, but...
00:31:50Okay.
00:31:51Have you ever attended bar before?
00:31:53I mean, I used to own the most popular bistro in Paris.
00:31:56We had...
00:31:57All right.
00:31:57All right.
00:31:57Let me show you a few things.
00:31:58No, that's okay.
00:31:59I got it.
00:32:09I didn't know you had a neighbor.
00:32:10Et pour vous, monsieur.
00:32:13Oh.
00:32:14Fica martini, extra dirty, and a Zorn after two.
00:32:44I did not see that coming.
00:32:46Mm-mm.
00:32:47It's like watching a horse ride a bike.
00:33:05The five things it takes to be a great dart player.
00:33:09Number one, how to stand at the Aki.
00:33:11An Aki.
00:33:12Aki is the line you throw the darts from.
00:33:13Why don't you say the line?
00:33:14Because it's called an Aki.
00:33:17Your feet should be a foot to a foot and a half apart.
00:33:21Your weight balanced upon your front leg with a line from the 20 through the bullseye to
00:33:27the middle of your foot.
00:33:31Yep.
00:33:33Your back leg behaves as a kickstand.
00:33:35You should be comfortable and relaxed.
00:33:39Comfortable?
00:33:41Are we relaxed?
00:33:43Are we relaxed?
00:33:43Gentlemen, I can't tell you how concerned I am as to whether you're comfortable and relaxed
00:33:47or not.
00:33:49Number two, how to throw away darts.
00:33:51I know how to throw away darts.
00:33:51Shut up.
00:33:52Arm raised at a 90 degree angle.
00:33:54Your forearm completely straight.
00:33:57Aim.
00:33:58Draw back.
00:33:59Fire.
00:34:00Fare and follow through.
00:34:02Ideally, there should be as little movement as possible.
00:34:08Good.
00:34:08Do that a couple thousand times.
00:34:10A thousand?
00:34:10A couple thousand while I watch.
00:34:14Fellas, I'm going to teach you as my father taught me.
00:34:18With hard work, respect, and dedication for the game.
00:34:22When I am done with you, you will know darts.
00:34:25Better yet, you will know yourselves.
00:34:29I will make you dart-throwing machines.
00:34:32I will also make you gentlemen of the sport.
00:34:41Oh, my God.
00:34:47People are laughing at us.
00:34:48Yeah, they are. You look ridiculous.
00:34:51Get used to it.
00:34:53Hank, you can't hit bullseyes when you're all alone at home.
00:34:57What do you think is going to happen when you're at the World Dart Championship?
00:34:59There's a huge crowd of people there and TV cameras pointed directly at you.
00:35:04Holy shit.
00:35:05Holy shit is right.
00:35:06Which is why I want you guys to do two things for me.
00:35:09Number one, no drinking before the match.
00:35:11Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. No drinking? Correct.
00:35:13You mean while we're throwing?
00:35:14No, I mean no drinking.
00:35:16But what about when practice is over and I said no drinking, period?
00:35:20Hold on, but I like to wind down after a long time.
00:35:21Then get Harvey Wallbanger to coach you.
00:35:28And number two, I got a task on this piece of paper that I want you to complete before the
00:35:33match.
00:35:35Whoa, whoa, whoa. I didn't say stop throwing.
00:35:37What's going? Get back to the hockey.
00:35:40As little movement as possible, right?
00:35:42Little movement as possible.
00:35:44Towel on, too. You both look like pigs.
00:35:51You sure this is what he meant?
00:35:52What is said on the piece of paper?
00:35:54It's crazy. It's a practice sport.
00:35:56It's going to take us forever to finish the game.
00:35:58I know, but we said we'd do it, so let's do it.
00:36:02Do we have to do it like this?
00:36:05I don't know.
00:36:07But we're here, so broke.
00:36:09What happened? You bozos lose a bet?
00:36:14Fuck this. I'm out of here.
00:36:15Yep. Thank God.
00:36:18Austin.
00:36:19What?
00:36:21Austin!
00:36:33Number three, strategy.
00:36:35We must always stay one step ahead of our opponents.
00:36:39They close one number, we close the next.
00:36:42They go for points, we go for more.
00:36:45We never play their game, thugs.
00:36:48And we wait for them to make the one little mistake
00:36:50that allows us to bounce and defeat them.
00:36:59Hank the Hammer?
00:37:00Number four.
00:37:02You gotta have a cool nickname.
00:37:04It is pretty cool.
00:37:05Yeah, because you're not being called a tosser.
00:37:27It's at 18.
00:37:28I'm trying.
00:37:30Okay.
00:37:34Give me a number.
00:37:3717.
00:37:38Triple 13.
00:37:40Okay.
00:37:42Lower.
00:37:47Nope.
00:37:48Nope.
00:37:48I'm leaving.
00:37:50Austin.
00:37:50Nope.
00:37:52Austin!
00:37:58I don't know what to do.
00:37:59I tried everything.
00:38:00Hank, what's your favorite number to throw at?
00:38:04Anything besides the bowls.
00:38:05No, I mean, what's your favorite number?
00:38:07Every dart player has a favorite number.
00:38:09I like 18s.
00:38:10Okay.
00:38:11Okay.
00:38:12Do you think you can hit 18 in that circle?
00:38:17I think so, yeah.
00:38:18All right.
00:38:19Let me see.
00:38:21Good.
00:38:21Now the next time you throw, aim at that dart.
00:38:23Just use it as a marker.
00:38:30Okay.
00:38:30Yeah, I see that, but the 18s are easy.
00:38:33It's the bullseye can't hit.
00:38:35Yes, you can.
00:38:36The bullseye is a circle one and a half inches in diameter.
00:38:40It's actually one of the larger landing areas on the board.
00:38:43It's just an optical illusion.
00:38:46That space you just hit all those 18s is the same size as the bullseye.
00:38:52If you can hit those 18s, you can hit the bullseye.
00:38:55That's all there is to it.
00:38:57Now throw at the bullseye, but in your mind, just imagine that big open space where you hit
00:39:02all those 18s.
00:39:11What's that?
00:39:12Right?
00:39:12It's just an 18, right?
00:39:14Breathe.
00:39:16Picture the 18 and throw.
00:39:31Awesome.
00:39:31Did you see that?
00:39:32Way to go, man.
00:39:33That's how you do it.
00:39:35The one out of three is not going to cut it, so let's get back to work.
00:39:40I can tell you this.
00:39:41The Galleon brothers are taking this more seriously than you guys are.
00:39:44I'm going to get a little bit.
00:39:53So then I thought, is it a gift from Evan to know that we're going to die?
00:39:59Right.
00:40:01Yeah, well, you should probably just see.
00:40:04Is that an Umbop tattoo on your wrist?
00:40:07Yeah, but it's pronounced Umbop love.
00:40:10Yeah, I'm pretty sure it's Umbop.
00:40:12No, it's Umbop.
00:40:14Anyway, why do you have a tattoo of a terrible song on your arm?
00:40:17A terrible song?
00:40:19Are you fucking kidding me?
00:40:20Have you ever listened to the lyrics?
00:40:22Yeah, don't they just say Umbop over and over again?
00:40:25No, love.
00:40:26It's a song about relationships and getting older, losing your hair, and flowers.
00:40:34It's like the Beatles when I'm 64, or Shakespeare, or Yates.
00:40:42It's fucking poetry, man.
00:40:44Here, listen to this.
00:40:46Can you tell me, oh, no, you can't, because you don't know?
00:40:54Can you tell me?
00:40:56You say you can, but you don't know.
00:41:01Can you tell me?
00:41:02Hey, oh, which flower is gonna grow?
00:41:07No, I can't, because you don't know.
00:41:12Can you tell me whether it'll be a daisy or a rose?
00:41:18You say you can, but you don't know it.
00:41:23Yeah, Umbop is still a terrible song.
00:41:27It's Umbop.
00:41:29I didn't finish telling you the lyrics.
00:41:32Lastly, and most important, number five, release the pressure.
00:41:40At all times, we want to be calm, relaxed, and in focus.
00:41:46My father would say that when he was in the zone, everything else in the world would go away.
00:41:52It was just him, his darts, and the dartboard.
00:41:57Don't let anything rattle you.
00:42:00We respond, we do not react.
00:42:03And remember, breathe.
00:42:15Real hard.
00:42:17There we go.
00:42:21What do you want?
00:42:22What do you want?
00:42:23Bullseyes.
00:42:24It's time for bullseyes.
00:42:25Easy.
00:42:27I mean hard.
00:42:31Closer.
00:42:32Closer.
00:42:33Don't leave me hanging.
00:42:33I won't leave you.
00:42:35There it is.
00:42:37Bullseyes.
00:42:38Bullseyes.
00:42:58Hey.
00:43:03How's it going?
00:43:05I'm on my way to training.
00:43:07I just wanted to come by and see you real quick.
00:43:09Great.
00:43:11How are you holding up?
00:43:12Big matches tomorrow.
00:43:14Yeah.
00:43:14It's crazy, right?
00:43:16You're still coming, aren't you?
00:43:18Of course.
00:43:19I'm so excited.
00:43:20And just think pretty soon, you're going to be world champs.
00:43:24I don't know about that.
00:43:26Hey, hey.
00:43:28Good luck tomorrow.
00:43:29We're all watching and rooting for you.
00:43:31Thanks, man.
00:43:32See?
00:43:33Well, what I was going to say is, I don't know if we'll win, but if we can at least
00:43:38make it
00:43:38go to three games, that would be amazing.
00:43:41No, you're going to win.
00:43:42And when you do, you better not forget about us.
00:43:46Impossible.
00:43:49You guys have worked hard.
00:43:51Come a long way.
00:43:52And there's just one thing left.
00:43:54What's that?
00:43:56Play me in a game of darts.
00:44:01Shoot well, gentlemen.
00:44:10Show me the best that you've got, and I'll show you one better.
00:44:18Show me your red is frozen, I'll show you one redder.
00:44:26Tell me your dirty joke, and I'll laugh it off lightly.
00:44:34If I tell you a dirty joke, you might not like me.
00:44:43Everyone gets to make one big mistake.
00:44:50And if you wait, you know me, well, I guess you're going to have to wait.
00:44:58Because I'm saving mine up for a very, very special day.
00:45:06When I can fuck it all up in the most spectacular way.
00:45:15Everyone gets to make one big mistake.
00:45:22And if you're waiting on me, well, I guess you're going to have to wait.
00:45:29And wait, and wait, and wait, and wait.
00:45:32Everyone gets to make one big mistake.
00:45:34Sorry about that.
00:45:35Oh, I swear I freeze-pick.
00:45:37You're going to have to wait, and wait, because I'm saving mine up for a very, very special day.
00:45:52How does it matter if you don't need a rat in our time?
00:45:56You don't love me in the most spectacular way.
00:46:03Show me the best that you've got, and I'll show you one better.
00:46:07Show me the best that you've got, and I'll show you one better.
00:46:09All right, uh, tomorrow I'll pick you guys up before the match.
00:46:14We'll go over everything, make sure you're in the right frame of mind.
00:46:20Oh, and, uh, I don't think I'm proud of you guys or anything.
00:46:31Can you believe we just beat Ian?
00:46:33Bro, we might have a chance at winning tomorrow.
00:46:35Yeah.
00:46:38Excuse me.
00:46:40Hey.
00:46:41Sorry to interrupt.
00:46:42Can I talk to you for a minute?
00:46:44Yeah, sure, yeah.
00:46:45Yeah, take your time.
00:46:54Hey, Virgil.
00:46:55You, uh, you did me a favor.
00:46:58So I got you something for the match tomorrow.
00:47:01You did?
00:47:02Yeah, it's not much, and you don't have to use them if you don't want to, but I just thought...
00:47:10Turn it around.
00:47:13This is great.
00:47:15Uh, I'm definitely gonna wear this tomorrow.
00:47:19And one for Austin.
00:47:27He's gonna hate it.
00:47:29It's great.
00:47:31And I didn't know if Ian had a nickname, so...
00:47:37Yeah, that's...
00:47:40That's him.
00:47:41That'll do it.
00:47:44Of course.
00:47:48So, uh, where'd the name Good News come from?
00:47:51My grandparents were collectors.
00:47:54They used to take me on these long drives where we'd go to these little shops and they'd find these
00:47:58great pieces.
00:48:00My grandmother used to find a piece she loved and say, well, here's some good news.
00:48:06I always got a kick out of that.
00:48:08That's cute.
00:48:10So what about you, Hank?
00:48:11Was it always your dream to own a bar and play the World Darts Championship?
00:48:17No.
00:48:17No, not even close.
00:48:19Um, the bar's been in the family forever, but it sat empty for years.
00:48:24And then after Mom died and me and Austin moved back, we were like, hey, let's get the old pub
00:48:31up and running again, so...
00:48:32So you and Austin...
00:48:34The half-brothers.
00:48:35Different dads.
00:48:36Huh.
00:48:37I didn't know that.
00:48:40Hey.
00:48:41Ooh.
00:48:42Do you have a few minutes?
00:48:44Sure.
00:48:44What's up?
00:48:46I want to show you something real quick.
00:48:47Here, come on.
00:48:48Everywhere I go
00:48:51All of the signs point to you
00:48:55Like something divine
00:48:57And I hope this is forever
00:48:59There ain't no...
00:49:01Who is that?
00:49:03That is Jay.
00:49:05He's great, right?
00:49:06Amazing.
00:49:08How did I not know about this?
00:49:11He doesn't publicize it.
00:49:12He just does these little impromptu shows
00:49:14and if you're in the know, you get a little alert when one's happening.
00:49:19It's pretty cool, right?
00:49:21Very cool.
00:49:22Can I be in the know?
00:49:26I think we could work something out.
00:49:27Well, life was like before you
00:49:32Everyone knows that I've been falling apart
00:49:37So then, what is your dream, right?
00:49:41It's supposed to be love
00:49:43What?
00:49:45You can tell me.
00:49:46It can't be that bad.
00:49:49I've always wanted to do that.
00:49:53Sing?
00:49:57Sing something for me.
00:49:58No.
00:49:59Why not?
00:50:01It makes me nervous.
00:50:04Why?
00:50:05I don't know.
00:50:06It's just you're up there all alone
00:50:08and people are staring at you.
00:50:09It's just...
00:50:11Well, you gotta try.
00:50:13Close your eyes.
00:50:15Picture everybody in their underwear.
00:50:17Have a Bahama Mama or two.
00:50:19You'll be great.
00:50:23You're gonna sing for me one day, Hank Fuller.
00:50:27Hmm.
00:50:28After all this training we've been doing with Ian,
00:50:31I've been thinking about giving it a shot.
00:50:34I'm gonna hold you to it.
00:50:35Baby, I believe in destiny.
00:50:40It's meant to be.
00:50:42Everywhere I go.
00:50:46All of the sun's gone to you.
00:50:51Like something you're finding out.
00:50:53All right.
00:50:54Oh, his voice was so good.
00:50:56Of course.
00:50:58I'm glad it came up, you know?
00:50:59And I'm in the know now, right?
00:51:01Officially, yeah.
00:51:02Okay.
00:51:02I'll hold you to it.
00:51:04Hey, do you want to come up for a glass of wine?
00:51:06I don't have the stuff to make at Bahama Mama,
00:51:09but...
00:51:10Sounds good.
00:51:11Cool.
00:51:23Is Austin here?
00:51:26Austin?
00:51:28He's probably sold the bar.
00:51:30Wow.
00:51:32Great place.
00:51:33Did you design it yourself?
00:51:36Yeah, pretty much.
00:51:39TV and dartboard are Austin's.
00:51:45Can I use your bathroom?
00:51:47Yeah.
00:51:48Yeah.
00:51:48Let me show you where that is.
00:51:51Here you go.
00:51:57Did you see me?
00:51:58No, I think so.
00:52:00Okay.
00:52:00Look, what do we do?
00:52:01Should we stay?
00:52:02We should go.
00:52:02Oh, my God.
00:52:04Okay.
00:52:05I'm so sorry.
00:52:06Let's just head out.
00:52:07My time like this never happens.
00:52:11Egg?
00:52:13Yeah?
00:52:14Is that you?
00:52:16Yeah?
00:52:18Okay.
00:52:20Uh, I'll be out in just a minute.
00:52:25I'll see you at the match tomorrow.
00:52:28They're going to be great.
00:52:30Yeah.
00:52:41Whoa.
00:52:43Dude, are you okay?
00:52:46Sorry about that.
00:52:47Um, just been a little bit stressed and just trying to blow off some steam.
00:52:54By getting herpes?
00:52:55Dude, Virgil has been using that thing since the 90s.
00:52:58I know.
00:53:00I've hit an all-time low.
00:53:02What are you stressed about?
00:53:04Dude, we're going to be great tonight.
00:53:05It's not about the match.
00:53:07It's...
00:53:07What?
00:53:08I could help.
00:53:09What is it?
00:53:09No.
00:53:10No, no, no.
00:53:10I got it.
00:53:11I got it.
00:53:13I tell you, I sure could use a drink right about now.
00:53:15Ian said we have to do exactly as he says if you drink from that...
00:53:18He's not going to know.
00:53:20Yeah, but I will.
00:53:25Look, I...
00:53:26I gotta...
00:53:28I gotta throw this thing away.
00:53:30Carrying around a bag full of shame.
00:53:33I'm going to go for a little walk and collect my thoughts.
00:53:37We can talk about this when I get back.
00:53:39Cool?
00:53:42Cool.
00:53:43Sure.
00:53:44Yeah, but Austin, seriously, man.
00:53:47Um, don't go out drinking.
00:53:49We have a chance tomorrow.
00:53:50You saw what happened tonight.
00:53:51We beat Ian.
00:53:52He let us win.
00:53:57God damn it.
00:53:58That's not what I, um...
00:54:02I'm sorry.
00:54:03I'm going to get rid of this and I'll just be right back.
00:54:39Do you want a walking partner?
00:54:41Excuse me?
00:54:43Do you want a walking partner?
00:54:45It's just you're there and I'm here and it's that weird sort of awkward thing and I just
00:54:48figured, well, that's silly, you know, we may as well walk together.
00:54:52Yeah, sure.
00:54:53Where are you headed?
00:54:54Do you know where Holloway Drive is?
00:54:56Uh, are you sure you're in the right neighborhood?
00:54:59I have no idea.
00:55:01I just moved here and, um, I was meeting some co-workers and I can't find the street and
00:55:06I keep texting them but nothing and I'm so lost.
00:55:11Yeah, I've never heard of it.
00:55:13You tried Googling it?
00:55:14Yeah, I did but nothing came up.
00:55:16I just drove down here.
00:55:18I figured this is where all the cool spots in town seem to be.
00:55:21They are but, uh, I don't know.
00:55:24I grew up here.
00:55:25I'd never heard of that before.
00:55:26Um, sorry.
00:55:28I, I, I wish I could help you out.
00:55:30I just...
00:55:31Ah, it's fine.
00:55:33I'll just see them on Monday and figure something out.
00:55:38I, I could, I could walk you back to your car if you'd like.
00:55:43That'd be nice.
00:55:44Thanks.
00:55:47It's in the bag.
00:55:49Ah!
00:55:50Ah!
00:55:51What the heck is that?
00:55:52It's, it's, it's nothing.
00:55:54It's nothing.
00:55:54Uh, that was nothing.
00:55:55That was, um, that was my little brother's.
00:55:58I was just throwing away for him.
00:55:59So, and, uh, now it's gone.
00:56:02You're acting really strange.
00:56:04Was that a, uh...
00:56:05No, that was, that was nothing.
00:56:08That was definitely nothing.
00:56:09It's gone, so...
00:56:15Um, so, uh, how long you lived here?
00:56:18About a week.
00:56:20Wow.
00:56:21You are new.
00:56:22I am.
00:56:24Where'd you move from?
00:56:26Santa Claus.
00:56:28Santa Claus?
00:56:29Mm-hmm.
00:56:29Okay, now you're just, you're, now you're just messing with me.
00:56:32Oh, honestly, it's a small town.
00:56:34Oh, no, I know all about Santa Claus, Indiana.
00:56:37I just never met anybody from there.
00:56:39Yeah, that's where I am.
00:56:40Really?
00:56:41Yeah.
00:56:42Holy shit.
00:56:43You have no idea how excited this makes me.
00:56:45Why is that?
00:56:46I don't know.
00:56:47I've always just had a thing for those little Indiana towns with weird, funky names, you know?
00:56:54Mm, like Mudsoff?
00:56:56Hey, that's a good one.
00:56:58Um, Carefree, Indiana.
00:57:00Toad hop.
00:57:02Hard scrabble.
00:57:03Bee hunter.
00:57:04Goddamn, you're good at this.
00:57:06Um, okay.
00:57:07Now, if you want to get a little spicy, there's the famous French lick, Indiana.
00:57:11Ooh, keeping on the spicy theme, there is booty.
00:57:15Booty?
00:57:16Yeah, you know, it's spelled like Buddha.
00:57:18You know how the rest of the world would pronounce it.
00:57:20But this being Indiana.
00:57:22Nice.
00:57:23That's hilarious.
00:57:24Um, okay, now one of my personal favorites.
00:57:27Floyd's knob.
00:57:31Pocket punani.
00:57:33Pocket?
00:57:34What?
00:57:35No.
00:57:36That was, that was my little brother's, I swear.
00:57:38I hope for your sake it was, because that did not look good.
00:57:41No, I, I'm honest.
00:57:45Well, this is me.
00:57:46Oh.
00:57:47It's been nice.
00:57:49Yeah.
00:57:51Do you want to get a drink?
00:57:56A drink?
00:57:58Uh, yeah.
00:58:00Are you nervous?
00:58:02Never.
00:58:02Me?
00:58:06Ah, thank you very much.
00:58:08Looks great.
00:58:12Yeah.
00:58:18It's weird.
00:58:20What is?
00:58:21Well, I've, I've been in this place a bunch of times, and it's always packed.
00:58:26Makes you feel like everybody knows something you don't.
00:58:29Hmm.
00:58:30Maybe it's just one of those kind of nights.
00:58:33What kind of that?
00:58:34The unexpected can happen.
00:58:41Can I ask you a, a serious question now?
00:58:44Sure.
00:58:45You sure?
00:58:45Yeah.
00:58:46Okay.
00:58:48Have you ever noticed how much the Statue of Liberty looks like Elvis?
00:58:53What?
00:58:53No, it doesn't.
00:58:55Oh, you don't believe me?
00:58:56No, it doesn't.
00:58:57Okay.
00:59:00Let's take a look at this, please.
00:59:05That's insane.
00:59:07That's crazy, right?
00:59:09How come more people aren't talking about this?
00:59:11I don't know.
00:59:13You know what?
00:59:14I think it, that's up to us now to start getting the word out about it.
00:59:22So what do you do?
00:59:25I own a bar.
00:59:26I own a bar with my, my little brother, Hank.
00:59:28Oh, the one with the, uh...
00:59:32Jeez, yes.
00:59:33Yeah, yeah, that's the one.
00:59:37You're not going to believe this.
00:59:41Uh, he and I are playing for the World Darts Championship tomorrow in Chicago.
00:59:48You're right.
00:59:48I don't believe you.
00:59:49There is no such thing as the World Darts Championship.
00:59:52What?
00:59:52Yes, there is.
00:59:54It's a real thing, and we're playing in it tomorrow.
00:59:57It's going to be on TV and everything.
00:59:59Seriously?
00:59:59Yeah.
01:00:01Wow.
01:00:03It's nuts.
01:00:04I mean, that's amazing.
01:00:05You must be pretty good.
01:00:10Yeah.
01:00:13Well, let's drink to that, then.
01:00:16Cheers.
01:00:25Come on, man.
01:00:26It's your phone.
01:00:32I screwed up.
01:00:34I told him you let us win the match yesterday.
01:00:37Oh, I'm sorry.
01:00:40I've just been so stressed out lately.
01:00:45The bar's in terrible shape.
01:00:47We're barely hanging on.
01:00:49This apartment, I mean, everything, it's all tied together.
01:00:53To lose it all.
01:00:55I've been so stressed out lately.
01:00:57I even used Virgil's fake hoo-ha.
01:00:59Ugh.
01:00:59I know.
01:01:00I know.
01:01:02Disgusting.
01:01:04Hank, he doesn't, he doesn't know about any of this.
01:01:07Well, he knows about the hoo-ha.
01:01:10That was embarrassing.
01:01:13He doesn't know about the rest, you know?
01:01:16They've just come so far.
01:01:19Let's go find him.
01:01:20Okay.
01:01:23That's okay.
01:01:24Come on.
01:01:30Oh, just the guy I wanted to see.
01:01:33Why, have you seen Hank?
01:01:34Nope.
01:01:35I finally got my check.
01:01:36You gotta be shitting me.
01:01:38I told you.
01:01:39If it weren't for me, it would have been a damn refrigerator.
01:01:42Well, then, Virgil, I guess you deserve that money.
01:01:46Hey, do me a favor.
01:01:47If you see Hank, have him get in touch with me immediately.
01:01:49Please?
01:01:50Sure thing.
01:01:50Everything okay?
01:01:51I don't know, man.
01:01:52We're about to find out.
01:02:01Hey.
01:02:02Here for some last-minute supplies?
01:02:04No.
01:02:04I, uh, uh, uh, where is he?
01:02:09I was hoping you might know.
01:02:13You know, he really, well, you're the first place to look.
01:02:20I don't know.
01:02:25I don't know.
01:02:29I don't know.
01:02:30But I don't know what I would do.
01:02:34If you was to leave me, the truth.
01:02:38Is I can't live without, without you.
01:02:42I don't know where I would go
01:02:47I don't know but all I know
01:02:51Is I just would not be myself
01:02:56I don't need nobody else
01:02:59But you, I don't mean to put this on you
01:03:04But I don't know what I would do
01:03:09If you was to leave me the truth
01:03:13Is I can't live without, without you
01:03:17I want you all to myself
01:03:21Cause I don't need nobody else
01:03:25We have a love that is true
01:03:30Is I can't live without, without you
01:03:36Why'd you leave?
01:03:40I'm not kidding.
01:03:42I, these guys are the best in the world
01:03:45And I can't even hit a bullseye when I'm at home by myself
01:03:50I started to believe we could win too
01:03:57You can't hit a bullseye, is that a joke?
01:04:02What do you mean?
01:04:04You hit one every moment of every day with me
01:04:07You've never not hit a bullseye, as far as I can tell, Hank
01:04:12You're just a bullseye kind of guy
01:04:19Look how far you've come
01:04:23There's a champion inside you
01:04:26That's what I see
01:04:29Now go show the world
01:04:31What the Hank Fuller that I know can do
01:04:38Thanks
01:04:39No, don't like me
01:04:41When you win, you owe me a song
01:04:48I'll see you at the match
01:04:50Wouldn't miss it for the world
01:04:59I mean, if he doesn't get here soon
01:05:01He'll be here
01:05:07Sorry, I'm late
01:05:08You're my brother, Hank
01:05:09You don't apologize to me
01:05:11I'm just glad you made it
01:05:12Oh, by the way
01:05:14I didn't drink last night
01:05:16And I was wrong
01:05:17Ian didn't let us win the match
01:05:19Right?
01:05:21I don't know if you drank last night or not
01:05:23But if you did, I'm gonna kick your ass
01:05:26And yeah, I didn't let you guys win
01:05:27You guys played great
01:05:29Now why don't we show these boys
01:05:31How we do things on this side of the pond
01:06:18Hold this
01:06:24What's that say?
01:06:25Uh, seven feet, nine and a quarter inches
01:06:29Now hold it at the bullseye
01:06:33Now what's that say?
01:06:34Five feet, eight inches
01:06:36Exactly right
01:06:37It's the same dartboard you guys been throwing at the whole time
01:06:40They don't change any rules for the world championship
01:06:44Cool?
01:06:45Cool
01:06:45All right, let's go warm up
01:06:49Guys, wait a second
01:06:51What's that?
01:06:52They didn't even bother to change the banner
01:06:58That's okay
01:06:59After tonight
01:07:01They're never gonna forget your names
01:07:18Ladies and gentlemen
01:07:20Let's get started
01:07:22Let's get started
01:07:25Everybody say oh yeah
01:07:28Oh yeah
01:07:29Oh yeah
01:07:29Oh yeah
01:07:30We'll be setting
01:07:31Of course
01:07:31We're in Chester, England
01:07:33Night time world champions
01:07:35The Galeas Brothers
01:07:36Let's hear it
01:07:39Thanks a lot
01:07:40Come on people
01:07:41Let's get started
01:07:42Jump your line
01:07:42Woo!
01:07:47Woo!
01:07:51Let me hear you
01:07:52Thanks a lot
01:07:54And from Michigan City, Indiana
01:07:57Woo!
01:08:00We got some rolling
01:08:01Let's hear it from Michigan City, Indiana
01:08:04Pace the hammer!
01:08:07And tossing Austin Turner, baby!
01:08:10Dark Side of the Moon!
01:08:12I hear you guys say, oh, yeah!
01:08:16Oh, yeah!
01:08:17It's so dark for you, baby!
01:08:19It's so dark for you, baby!
01:08:21It's so dark!
01:08:23It's so dark!
01:08:25Woo!
01:08:30Good evening, ladies and gentlemen,
01:08:32and thanks for joining me and my partner in the booth, Sean Grafton,
01:08:35for tonight's World Darts Championship.
01:08:38What do you thought, Sean?
01:08:38First off, I just want to apologize for the joke I made last week
01:08:41about, you know, having a drink in the booth.
01:08:44That's just silly dart humor,
01:08:45and I really didn't mean anything by it.
01:08:47Not a problem.
01:08:48I doubt anybody took that seriously.
01:08:50So, thoughts about the match?
01:08:52One word, bloodbath.
01:08:54These guys from a pub league in a little town in Indiana
01:08:56have no chance.
01:08:57Two games to nothing,
01:08:58I doubt they even score a single point against the Giants.
01:09:01Well, there you have it, folks.
01:09:03I'm the former champ himself.
01:09:05Let's go down to the hockey as the match is about to begin.
01:09:13Hey.
01:09:14My name is Ian.
01:09:15I coached outside of the moon.
01:09:18Good luck, man.
01:09:19You're gonna need it.
01:09:20Do you have our trophy?
01:09:21Yeah, I think they only give you that if you win.
01:09:24You guys got what I want?
01:09:25What?
01:09:25An apology?
01:09:26What do we owe you a fucking apology for?
01:09:28What you said about my father.
01:09:31Hey, you know what?
01:09:31Never mind.
01:09:32I'll get it after.
01:09:33Hey.
01:09:34Yeah.
01:09:34Hey.
01:09:35Who's our old man?
01:09:37Our father is Alistair Whitman.
01:09:40And now I wish you guys good luck.
01:09:42Cause you're gonna need it.
01:09:46Wait, so is he really your dad?
01:09:48Stay focused.
01:09:48Finish warming up.
01:09:55Did you hear that?
01:09:57Did I just hear that Alistair Whitman is his father?
01:10:00That's what it sounded like to me.
01:10:02If that's true, does that make any difference in tonight's match?
01:10:05No.
01:10:06They still have zero chance to win.
01:10:10Tonight's game is the best of three match.
01:10:12The first team to win two matches is the champion.
01:10:15Now the standard CDC rules apply,
01:10:16and the Gallium brothers won first to throw.
01:10:18Are you ready, gentlemen?
01:10:21Then shake hands and shoot well.
01:10:24Shoot well.
01:10:25You twos are punching way above your weight.
01:10:27We've been told to be nice and play a soft little game
01:10:30and make it look good.
01:10:31So play alone,
01:10:32or I'll send you both home in a fucking ambulance.
01:10:35And here you go.
01:10:36We want you to be the first to have this.
01:10:38A CD.
01:10:39Great.
01:10:41Hold on, this is our name.
01:10:42And now it will always be remembered
01:10:44as the title of our first album.
01:10:47You're welcome.
01:10:49I don't want their piece of shit record.
01:10:51Yeah, I might check it out.
01:10:52That'd be cool, right?
01:10:53What?
01:10:54Hey, hey, can I see that thing for a second?
01:10:57Get the fuck out of here.
01:10:58What are you doing?
01:11:00I'm looking for my friend.
01:11:02Well, who gives a shit?
01:11:03They're gonna throw your darts for you?
01:11:05Why don't you guys get your heads in the game?
01:11:13Double-20.
01:11:15Triple-19.
01:11:16They're not even going for points.
01:11:18They're not even going for points.
01:11:18Oh, white horrors!
01:11:19He threw a white
01:11:20horse!
01:11:23Screw them, you know what to do.
01:11:25They're not taking darkside seriously.
01:11:27They just went in.
01:11:28Well, let's see how darkside responds.
01:11:33Trouble 17
01:11:36Trouble 16
01:11:38Okay
01:11:38Trouble 15
01:11:40That's unbelievable
01:11:42These boys came to play
01:11:53This guy owns my pussy
01:12:05Hold the blinder there, didn't you?
01:12:16Austin's turn to the hockey
01:12:17Much for shaking Nicky up
01:12:18Because he only hit two 20s
01:12:20What the fuck was that?
01:12:23Here we go
01:12:23This is our chance
01:12:24Go for points
01:12:25Close out 20s, 19s
01:12:43Hank only manages 34 points
01:12:46Sorry about that
01:12:48We're still in, come on
01:12:54Lance closes the 17s and 16s
01:13:01Austin closes the 20s and 19s
01:13:03We should have gone for points in the 15s
01:13:05His coach won't be happy about that
01:13:08Nicky closes the 15s and lands a bullseye
01:13:22Hank is only able to get one bullseye
01:13:24He needed a bunch of them to keep them in this
01:13:26Well, whatever your name is
01:13:28You're just little chuckery cracks in the pressure
01:13:30Aren't you?
01:13:31Get your notebook, laddie
01:13:32Show you how it's done
01:13:37Guy in brothers 1
01:13:39Dark side of the moon
01:13:40Zero
01:13:41Just as I predicted, Dirk
01:13:42Folks, if you have those dinner reservations in 20 minutes
01:13:45You're not gonna miss him
01:13:48I'm killing this guy, son
01:13:49I'm sorry
01:13:50I'm gonna tell you something
01:13:51My father told me about Darts
01:13:53But it applies to everything in life
01:13:55You have to believe
01:13:56Right here
01:13:57Right now
01:13:58That you're as great as any DART team
01:14:00That ever was
01:14:00Or ever will be
01:14:02But you have to believe that
01:14:04Hank!
01:14:06Hey
01:14:06Hank!
01:14:07How's the match going?
01:14:08Uh, it's terrible
01:14:10We lost the first game
01:14:11I, um, I couldn't concentrate
01:14:14Well, I think it's because I had to get you these
01:14:21Thank you
01:14:22So you weren't lying
01:14:26Hey, you made it
01:14:28You kidding?
01:14:29I had to see this with my own eyes
01:14:30Thank you
01:14:32What the hell is this?
01:14:33Let's throw some dots
01:14:34So we can get the hell out of here
01:14:39I'll see you around, okay?
01:14:41Hey, uh
01:14:42Don't go anywhere
01:14:43I won't
01:14:44I promise
01:14:45You promise?
01:14:46I promise
01:14:47But you have to promise me something
01:14:50Anything
01:14:51When
01:14:59You heard what the man said
01:15:00Let's throw some darts
01:15:03Let's go
01:15:08This should be the final game of the match
01:15:10I don't think Dartside can keep up with it
01:15:18Lance is keeping the same strategy
01:15:19Closing the 20s
01:15:21And 19s
01:15:22Yeah
01:15:22Let's see if Austin can answer like last game
01:15:32Fuck it
01:15:35Whoa
01:15:35Trouble 20
01:15:38Trouble 19
01:15:41Trouble 18
01:15:42I didn't see that guy
01:15:43It's like he said
01:15:44You can't hit the white horse here
01:15:46But I sure as shit can
01:15:54They're still not taking them seriously
01:15:56Hank stepped up with the Aki
01:15:57This is where the game has faltered in the past
01:15:59Trouble 17
01:16:01Trouble 16
01:16:06Trouble 15
01:16:08Wow
01:16:08Wow
01:16:09The galleons are going to start taking them seriously now
01:16:15Single bullseye
01:16:17Double bullseye
01:16:20And another single bullseye
01:16:23Yeah, you see
01:16:23Now they're starting to score points
01:16:26Austin could potentially close the game
01:16:28He needs to shut down the bulls first
01:16:32Single bull
01:16:36Double bull
01:16:37He needs to double 16 or 15 for a miracle game
01:16:41Dark side of the moon
01:16:43So it's a perfect game
01:16:44I cannot believe it
01:16:45What an amazing best of guys
01:16:47No one saw this coming
01:16:48Especially me
01:16:49The galleons brothers won
01:16:50Dark side of the moon won
01:16:52Ladies and gentlemen
01:16:53Now we have a match
01:16:55That's right
01:16:56Cancel those dinner reservations
01:16:57Showtime
01:16:58Showtime baby
01:17:00Showtime
01:17:06They took off their sunnies
01:17:08They said they never take off their sunnies
01:17:10They mean business
01:17:11Here we go
01:17:13Ladies and gentlemen
01:17:13The final game
01:17:15This is exciting stuff
01:17:23Lance Gallion hits three triple 20s
01:17:25He's closed the 20s and scored 120 points
01:17:28That was a magnificent start to the game
01:17:38Trouble 19
01:17:41Trouble 19
01:17:42Another trouble 19
01:17:43The way these two are throwing
01:17:46Their coach may really be Alistair Whitman's son
01:17:50Austin Turner hits seven 19s
01:17:53Austin Turner hits seven 19s
01:17:53Darts out of the moon
01:17:54A 76 points
01:17:55Great response
01:17:58Nicky hits a triple 19 and three 18s
01:18:02As I thought both teams are now playing a modern strategy
01:18:10Hey Fuller hits two triple 17s and a triple 20s
01:18:13Fantastic darts
01:18:14They've now gone ahead with 127 points
01:18:18They've now gone ahead with 127 points
01:18:19It's hits a triple 18 and three 17s
01:18:22They've retaken the lead with 174
01:18:25What a match
01:18:27In Freddy Ball
01:18:28And now they have the lead by one
01:18:34Nicky finds four 15s
01:18:35Giving them the lead with 189 points
01:18:42They've again inched ahead with 191 points
01:18:45This is like two heavyweight boxers
01:18:47Giving everything they have
01:18:49In the final round of a title match
01:18:51An incredible thing to witness
01:18:52Lance lands a triple 15
01:18:55Then finds two 16s
01:18:56Through ahead with 234 points
01:19:01Austin hits another triple 16
01:19:02And closes the 15s
01:19:04As they've regained the lead with 239 points
01:19:10Blast heart just misses
01:19:12Yes, but it landed in the 16
01:19:14Closing out that number
01:19:15Meaning it all comes down to the bulls
01:19:17To recap
01:19:18The Galleon brothers have closed out the 20s through the 15s
01:19:21And they've managed two bullseyes
01:19:22They also have 234 points
01:19:24Dart side of the moon
01:19:25Has also closed out the 20s through the 15s
01:19:28They have no bulls
01:19:29But they are ahead with 239 points
01:19:31Dart side of the moon needs three bulls
01:19:33To the Galleon brothers too
01:19:35To win the game
01:19:35And the match
01:20:03Hey, Hank, look at me
01:20:12So?
01:20:12Sorry
01:20:13Oh my god
01:20:13I cannot stop thinking about how much a statue of liberty looks like Elvis
01:20:20But hey
01:20:21There's no pressure, man
01:20:23We've already won
01:20:52We've already won
01:20:54We've already won
01:20:54That does not look good.
01:20:56It's not good at all.
01:21:03It's virtually impossible.
01:21:05The dart is covering almost the entire double ball, which is what he needs to win.
01:21:12This shot was only made once, and that was by the greatest player to ever throw a dart.
01:21:30It's not good at all.
01:21:36The dart is not good at all.
01:21:38It's not good at all.
01:21:46It was just a joke.
01:21:46The dart on the moon wins.
01:21:51The dart on the moon wins.
01:21:53The dart on the moon wins.
01:21:54darts champions of the world we actually caught the dart in all my years i've never seen that
01:21:59this may be the greatest day in the history of this beautiful sport we did it bro we did it
01:22:06no we won believable no that shot was unbelievable and we saved the bar wait what what are you
01:22:13talking about oh dude if we didn't win a hundred thousand dollars we could have lost the place
01:22:17seriously yeah the apartment too when were you going to tell me never what the mother of christ
01:22:25happened i told you they'd never forget your names after tonight is that why you had us play in our
01:22:31underwear so we'd be ready for this no that had nothing to do with anything i just thought that
01:22:36was funny is alistar whitman really your dad or is that some bullshit too hey does it matter
01:22:47hey that was for you weirdo mittens who knew darts could be so exciting surprising right yeah
01:22:53you're gonna have to show me how to play later gentlemen i uh what the do you want i think
01:22:59we
01:23:00know what i want thank you for what for everything i couldn't have done it without you
01:23:11hey i was wondering do you think you and i could sometime would you be interested good lord hey
01:23:20why do you think i have a little dart section in my otherwise beautiful shop yes yes i would love
01:23:28to go
01:23:29out with you
01:23:47huh so you're still saying it was hank's fake vagina
01:23:54fucker roll hey i'm i'm gloating here man is this some kind of a fucking joke what you're a
01:23:59fucking queer hey if you got a problem with him then you can hey no it's all good man i
01:24:02got this
01:24:03listen man i just learned yeah yeah yeah whatever look all i wanted to say was i'm a queer too
01:24:08but
01:24:09up until now i was the only one playing championship dots you know what i mean welcome to the
01:24:13fucking game mate you lads played well and we won a fucking rematch
01:24:23i also did not see that coming
01:24:29hey now
01:24:30we got lots to see
01:24:36right now
01:24:38the winds are blowing
01:24:40the celebration you and me
01:24:43hey now
01:24:45the songs are playing
01:24:48but the music has let it be
01:24:52not
01:24:56yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
01:25:00virgil everybody thank you so much virgil
01:25:04for that wonderful rendition of darling nikki
01:25:07yeah british was a good friend of mine the original title that yes he was yes he was thank you
01:25:13Let's give Virgil another round for Virgil!
01:25:17All right.
01:25:27Never did this before, but, uh,
01:25:31it was the first time for everything, right?
01:25:32So...
01:25:35There goes nothing.
01:25:52I wasn't losing his lost cause
01:25:56You were misled by what you saw
01:25:59But there we were, tempted by fate
01:26:03And a half-empty blender
01:26:06So we tried to get you, the sun came up
01:26:09Told me that you only hung around to see if we could make
01:26:13It a night to remember
01:26:20You said, watch me now, boy, I'm gonna make it rain
01:26:24I said, baby, do you really wanna go there?
01:26:27You said, watch me now, boy, I'm gonna go insane
01:26:31If you watch me if I really wanna go there
01:26:34You waited in your running car
01:26:38So patiently outside the bar
01:26:42Dark-born angels saving me
01:26:45From some bad decisions
01:26:48Then you drove us to a parking lot
01:26:51Somewhere out of the sticks
01:26:53To make some fancy memories
01:26:55History with no need of revision
01:27:02You said, watch me now, boy, I'm gonna make it rain
01:27:06I said, baby, do you really wanna go there?
01:27:10You said, watch me now, boy, I'm gonna go insane
01:27:13If you ask me if I really wanna go there
01:27:16If you ask me if I really wanna go there
01:27:20If you ask me if I really wanna go there
01:27:23If you ask me if I really wanna go there
01:27:30If you ask me if I really wanna go there
01:28:02You said, watch me now, boy, I'm gonna make it rain
01:28:06I said, baby, do you really wanna go there?
01:28:09You said, watch me now, boy, I'm gonna go insane
01:28:13If you ask me if I really wanna go there
01:28:26If you ask me if I really wanna go there
01:28:31If you ask me if I really wanna go there
01:28:34If you ask me if I really wanna go there
01:28:39If you ask me if I really wanna go there
01:28:41If you ask me if I really wanna go there
01:28:41If you ask me if I really wanna go there
01:28:43If you ask me if I really wanna go there
01:28:44If you ask me if I really wanna go there
01:28:45If you ask me if I really wanna go there
01:28:45If you ask me if I really wanna go there
01:28:46If you ask me if I really wanna go there
01:28:46If I really wanna go there
01:28:49If you ask me if I really wanna go there
01:28:49If I really wanna go there
01:28:50If I really wanna go there
01:28:50If I really wanna go there
01:28:51If I really wanna go there
01:28:51If I really wanna go there
01:28:51If I really wanna go there
01:28:51If I really wanna go there
01:28:54If I really wanna go there
01:28:56If I really wanna go there
01:28:56You
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