- 5 hours ago
Category
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Short filmTranscript
00:07Smell this.
00:08I will not.
00:10I just want to know if I can wear it again.
00:12I think if you have to ask, you have your answer.
00:15Great.
00:17Hey, before I forget, will you pick up a few things from me at the hardware store?
00:21Ugh, I hate going there.
00:23Why?
00:24Treat me like I'm an idiot.
00:25Really? They're always nice to me.
00:27Gee, I wonder what the difference is.
00:29One of us is too fancy to smell a shirt.
00:33Well, I'm a woman, Georgie. They talk down to me and then they hit on me.
00:37Well, that's got to feel nice.
00:38No!
00:40There's places I get treated different, too, because I'm a man.
00:43Really? Like where?
00:45Like when I take Cece to the park.
00:46All the moms act like I'm some kind of hero for taking care of my kid.
00:50That's your example?
00:51Yeah, and then they hit on me.
00:55It was horrible.
01:27There you go.
01:30Nice key chain.
01:33That's my wife's car.
01:34Makes sense.
01:35I did not peg you as a bedazzled Miata man.
01:39Hey, let me ask you something.
01:41Why didn't your wife bring it in?
01:42I don't know. She makes me do the car stuff.
01:44Makes sense.
01:45Hmm.
01:46You think there's anything in here that would make her feel uncomfortable?
01:50Why?
01:50I just think it'd be great if this were a place your wife wanted to come.
01:56Why do you want my wife to come here?
02:00Well, not just your wife, any wife.
02:02And not just wives, moms, daughters.
02:03We want them all.
02:07Okay.
02:10Hey, tell your wife.
02:11My Calistrado loves the ladies.
02:14Do I want to know?
02:17You ever wonder why we don't get many women customers?
02:19Not after that.
02:22Well, I've come to realize there's some places women don't feel welcome, and I don't want
02:25this to be one of them.
02:26Well, cars are just more of a guy thing.
02:29Women drive cars, too.
02:30That's why there's so many accidents, am I right?
02:34You might be on to something.
02:45Why are you reading Cosmo?
02:47Trying to learn how women think.
02:49Did you know there's a lot of dirty stuff in here?
02:52Are there pictures?
02:54Sometimes.
02:56Listen to this.
02:57The health benefits of sex.
03:00Travels in his...
03:02erogenous zone?
03:05I don't know what that is.
03:08Eleven secrets of world-class lovers.
03:11Eleven?
03:12I only got two, three tops.
03:16Number one, communication.
03:18Next.
03:20Number two, be enthusiastic.
03:23Brother, if a girl's getting naked, I'm enthusiastic.
03:27Agreed.
03:28Number three, engage the senses.
03:31What's that mean?
03:32Soft lighting, scented candles.
03:34Oh, boring.
03:35Next.
03:36Oh, this is good.
03:38When to lick and when to bite.
03:39Ooh.
03:42What are you jackasses doing?
03:46Learning about women.
03:47For business purposes.
03:48Mm-hmm.
03:49How does licking and biting help business?
03:52Well, that one don't, but there's other things in here that can.
03:55Wait, go back.
03:55What are we licking?
03:57What are we biting?
03:57Go back to fixing cars.
03:59Okay, okay.
04:02That's the answer.
04:09I figure, with just a few changes, we could be the only woman-friendly tire store in town.
04:14This ought to be good.
04:15What changes?
04:17For starters, we got some lady magazines for the waiting area.
04:20And flavored creamers for the coffee.
04:22Fat-free.
04:23Y'all like fat-free.
04:25We've picked up a few of them fancy-smelling candles.
04:29Did you at least clean the bathroom?
04:30Don't need to.
04:31We got candles.
04:33Did it ever occur to you to ask a woman what she'd like?
04:37Nope.
04:41In our defense, they weren't running around.
04:45And now there are.
04:47See what you got?
04:48Well, first of all, candles are not cleaning products.
04:53At 12 bucks a pop, they should be.
04:55You spent 12 bucks on a candle.
04:57It was lavender.
05:01Candles aren't going to change anything.
05:03Tire stores are just kind of a dude space.
05:05Okay, well, what if a woman worked there?
05:08I can't afford another employee.
05:11Mrs. McAllister could do it.
05:12You want me there?
05:14You want her there?
05:17Oh, you were surprised, too.
05:20I suppose I could come in a few days a week.
05:24Jim, what do you think?
05:27Um, always love having you around.
05:31Nice try.
05:33No, honey, really, it's great.
05:35Just move on.
05:39If you want to make the store more woman-friendly,
05:41first thing we do is clean the bathroom.
05:44Fair enough.
05:47Probably going to need a toilet seat, too.
05:50Oh, my God.
05:57So, you're going to be working with my mom.
06:00That's fun.
06:03You're being sarcastic.
06:04Oh, could you not tell?
06:05Here, let me try again.
06:06That's fun!
06:08It's going to be fine.
06:10You have no concerns?
06:12She'll get to see me in my element.
06:14Doing what I do best.
06:16I don't know, Georgie.
06:17It kind of seems like the frog in the boiling water.
06:20What's that?
06:21It's a metaphor.
06:22The frog is in a pot of water,
06:23and the heat gets turned up little by little,
06:25so it doesn't notice it's boiling.
06:27Who's boiling a frog?
06:29It doesn't matter.
06:30Are they making frog soup?
06:32It's not a real thing.
06:34Oh, good.
06:35Because I would not eat frog soup.
06:38I'm just saying,
06:39my mom's gradually starting to like you,
06:41so maybe don't turn up the heat too fast.
06:44Okay.
06:45I get it.
06:45I get it.
06:46Okay, good.
06:47Good night.
06:47Good night.
06:55Can I tell you a secret?
06:57Sure.
06:59When I was little,
06:59I had one of those stuffed frog toys.
07:01Uh-huh.
07:02Freaked me out.
07:08So,
07:09should we carpool tomorrow?
07:11Well,
07:11we are going to the same place.
07:14We sure are.
07:16You worried about me and you spending so much time together?
07:20What?
07:20No.
07:21Dream team.
07:22What about me and Georgie?
07:24Very worried.
07:27Me too.
07:29Well,
07:31try being nice to him.
07:33I know.
07:34But sometimes his sunny optimism
07:36just makes me want to tear him apart
07:38with my words.
07:42That's a joke, right?
07:44Of course.
07:46I don't want to believe you.
07:53Can I get the keys to the Chevy?
07:55Yeah, sure thing.
07:56Good morning, Reuben.
07:58Oh,
07:58hey,
07:59Mrs. McAllison.
07:59This is a nice surprise.
08:01Yeah,
08:01she's going to be helping us out up front for a while.
08:03Phasing Georgie out.
08:04Love it.
08:06We're not phasing anyone out.
08:08Hey.
08:09Oh,
08:09come on.
08:10He's right there.
08:10Do it.
08:13You trying to those flavored cream?
08:15Hazelnut's pretty tasty.
08:17I prefer half and half.
08:19You know,
08:20I have always wondered,
08:21what's the half
08:22and what's the other half?
08:23It's cream and milk.
08:25Hmm,
08:25kind of a letdown.
08:26How we doing over here?
08:28Great.
08:29She's a fountain of information.
08:31Drink from me.
08:33So what's the plan?
08:35Well,
08:35for starters,
08:36I think I'm going to go buy some plants,
08:38flowers,
08:38oh,
08:39maybe a little music.
08:40Hmm,
08:41engaging the senses.
08:42That's right out of Cosmo.
08:45And this floor,
08:47does it bother you that it's sticky?
08:49Well,
08:50no,
08:50that's a safety precaution.
08:52Yeah,
08:53never had a slip and fall.
08:54Jim,
08:54it's filthy.
08:56Well,
08:56we're not eating off it,
08:57we're walking on it.
08:59Georgie,
09:00go to the hardware store
09:01and buy a mop,
09:01pine sauce,
09:02and wire brushes.
09:03I can pick up that toilet seat
09:04while I'm at it.
09:05This is my second cup of coffee.
09:07Please hurry.
09:11off to a good start.
09:12You bet.
09:16Shut up.
09:27What you doing?
09:28Uh,
09:29a pan in the dishwasher
09:30is making a cool rhythm.
09:32So you're not on any drugs at all,
09:34this is just you.
09:37I do take a multivitamin.
09:39Are you snorting it?
09:43Who needs a drummer?
09:45I got a Maytag.
09:58Hey,
09:58make sure you try the new toilet seat.
10:00I got the deluxe patty kind.
10:01I did.
10:03Terrific.
10:05Let's just try to keep in mind
10:06that most of our customers are men.
10:08We don't want to scare them off.
10:09Oh,
10:10I'm sorry.
10:11I didn't realize flowers
10:13were so scary.
10:15All right,
10:16enough.
10:16You know what I meant.
10:20Look,
10:21a lady.
10:21It's working.
10:23Hey,
10:24Joan.
10:24Rita,
10:25you remember my wife,
10:26Audrey?
10:27Hi.
10:27Hi.
10:29Love what you've done
10:30with the place.
10:31That was all
10:31Mrs. McAllister.
10:33Oh,
10:33it was a team effort
10:34and you know it.
10:35Well,
10:36it looks great.
10:41Oh,
10:41she ain't a customer
10:42that don't count.
10:48Just think about it.
10:49A Mother's Day sale,
10:51all moms get half off.
10:52We'd lose money.
10:53In the short term,
10:55but you'd gain clients
10:56who would come back.
10:57And not just on Mother's Day.
10:58You got your President's Day,
11:00your Labor Day,
11:01your Yom Kippur.
11:04Hey,
11:05how'd it go?
11:05Your mom and I
11:06are a great team.
11:07Oh,
11:08stop.
11:08You were gonna make that sale
11:09before I walked over.
11:11Wow,
11:11so you two really got along.
11:13They really,
11:15really did.
11:17What's for dinner?
11:18Uh,
11:18Connor ordered a pizza.
11:19Great.
11:23Connor.
11:25Yeah?
11:26You ordered a pizza?
11:27On its way.
11:29It's not.
11:42Yes,
11:43I'd like to order a pizza.
11:52I'm just saying,
11:53a new coat of paint out front
11:54would really freshen the place up.
11:56Yeah,
11:56let me guess,
11:57pink?
11:57Oh,
11:58don't be silly.
12:00Terracotta.
12:02What the hell is terracotta?
12:04Like an earthy red.
12:06Very classy.
12:08It doesn't matter.
12:09We don't have the budget
12:10for painters.
12:11You don't need to hire anybody.
12:13Me and Reuben will do it.
12:14Do what?
12:15Paint the outside of the store.
12:17Oh,
12:18because I'm Hispanic
12:19and I know how to paint buildings?
12:21No,
12:21that ain't what I meant.
12:22And for the record,
12:23I've never once thought of you
12:24as Hispanic.
12:25What do you think I am?
12:27Mean and unhappy.
12:30That's fair.
12:35How'd you answer?
12:38What you watching?
12:39Clint Eastwood.
12:41Oh,
12:41the one with the monkey.
12:42The best.
12:44You ever wonder
12:45what happened to the monkey?
12:46I always hoped
12:47he'd retired someplace nice.
12:49You know,
12:49Florida,
12:50Arizona.
12:53You know,
12:53speaking of
12:54unlikely friends,
12:56Mom and Georgie,
12:57huh?
12:58Yeah,
12:58it's nice.
12:59It is.
13:00Really nice.
13:04It's a little weird,
13:05so weird.
13:07You should see him
13:07at the store
13:08all buddy-buddy.
13:09It's creepy.
13:11You know,
13:12if she's not being hard on him,
13:14it's gonna come out
13:14at someone else.
13:16Am I a bad father
13:17for hoping it's you?
13:17Yes.
13:19Can you keep it down?
13:20I'm recording
13:21the toaster oven.
13:26Maybe it'll be Connor.
13:27No,
13:27it's never Connor.
13:28No,
13:28it's never Connor.
13:31Perfect.
13:36I'm gonna go pick up
13:37some lunch.
13:38Oh,
13:38meatball sub,
13:39please.
13:40Oh,
13:40I'm going to the new
13:40Greek place.
13:42Greek?
13:44Ooh,
13:45I heard they got
13:46something called a gyro.
13:48I don't know what it is,
13:49but I'm dying to find out.
13:51Two to one.
13:52Oh,
13:52hang on.
13:53Ruben,
13:54you want a meatball sub
13:55or Greek food?
13:58I love Greek.
13:59Go back to work.
14:02I'll just grab
14:02something for everyone.
14:04Thank you,
14:05sweet.
14:07You need to stop it.
14:09What?
14:10Sucking up to her,
14:11ganging up on me.
14:12What are you talking about?
14:14Look what she's done
14:15to the place,
14:16and you're helping.
14:17What do you want me to do?
14:19I don't know.
14:20Just keep in mind
14:21I liked you before she did.
14:24Fine.
14:25Sorry.
14:30Son of a bitch!
14:41Now,
14:41I was thinking.
14:42Oh.
14:43If we paint the outside
14:45of the store,
14:45it might make the inside
14:46look dingy.
14:48You're right.
14:48Let's not do it.
14:50Oh,
14:50no,
14:50I meant
14:51let's do the inside,
14:52too.
14:54I don't know.
14:54Georgie,
14:55what do you think?
14:56Oh,
14:58we'd have to take
14:59everything off the walls
15:00and move all the tires
15:02out of the showroom,
15:03and it'd be a lot of work.
15:05That's a good point.
15:06I hadn't thought of that.
15:08Mom and I did the nursery
15:09in a couple days.
15:10It wasn't that big a deal.
15:11Yeah,
15:11well,
15:12you got paint fumes
15:13and we might have
15:14to shut down
15:15for a day.
15:16That's just
15:16lost revenue.
15:18That's another good point.
15:21All right,
15:22what's going on?
15:24Nothing.
15:25I agree.
15:27Did you say
15:28something to him?
15:29Um,
15:29I don't think so.
15:31Did I?
15:32No,
15:32you did not.
15:35Look me in the eye
15:36and say
15:36you had nothing
15:37to do with him
15:38suddenly being
15:38on your side.
15:45I had nothing
15:46to do with him
15:47suddenly being
15:47on my side.
15:51You are unbelievable!
15:54I'll get it.
15:55Don't you move.
15:59Amanda?
16:00Oh, damn.
16:00I hate to miss this.
16:06Connor,
16:07what the hell
16:07are you doing?
16:08Shh.
16:08I'm making music.
16:12What'd I miss?
16:13I like the way
16:14my store is.
16:15I hate all these changes.
16:16They were good changes,
16:17though.
16:17Weren't they, Georgie?
16:19Well, uh...
16:20Tell her what
16:20you really think.
16:21Uh, uh,
16:24help me.
16:26Okay,
16:27this might be
16:27a U2 issue
16:28and not a Georgie issue.
16:29I didn't realize
16:30when you invited me
16:31to come work
16:32at the store
16:32that you wanted
16:33a silent partner.
16:34Oh, come on, Audrey.
16:36when have you
16:36ever been silent?
16:41You want silence?
16:44I'll show you silence.
16:50Connor, knock it off!
16:53Sweet.
16:59I feel like it's my fault
17:01your parents are fighting.
17:02Oh, sweetie.
17:04It's because it is.
17:07That ain't helping.
17:08Oh, if only somebody
17:10had warned you
17:11that working with my mother
17:12was a bad idea.
17:14Hey, you said
17:15we weren't gonna get along.
17:16And we did.
17:17Is everyone unhappy?
17:20Yes.
17:21Then I was right.
17:24Should I do something?
17:27Yes.
17:27You should rub my feet.
17:29I'm serious.
17:31I'm serious.
17:31So am I.
17:34Fine.
17:35Ugh.
17:37Remember when you were pregnant
17:38and your ankles
17:39looked like water balloons?
17:40Just rub.
17:46Yeah?
17:48Can I come in?
17:49Sure.
17:53Sure.
17:53You said I shouldn't bug you,
17:54but I gotta get something
17:55off my chest.
17:56Can't wait till morning.
17:58I'm afraid not.
18:00Mrs. McAllister,
18:01I was going along
18:02with all your plans
18:03because it felt nice
18:04for me and you
18:04to be getting along.
18:06And Mr. McAllister,
18:08you've always had my back.
18:09I never want you to think
18:10that I don't have yours.
18:12So y'all don't be mad
18:13at each other.
18:13Be mad at me.
18:14This is my fault.
18:17I appreciate that,
18:18but we're fine.
18:19Really?
18:21This isn't our first fight.
18:23We argue.
18:23We make up.
18:25That's marriage.
18:26Go to bed.
18:27Get some sleep.
18:30Good night.
18:33You think you heard us doing it?
18:37No, I think we're good.
18:48Can I get your opinion
18:49on something?
18:50Sure.
18:51I made a song
18:52out of the sounds
18:53of our house.
18:54Cool.
18:55It's called
18:56The Sounds of Our House.
18:59Clever.
19:03That's the dishwasher.
19:06Vacuum.
19:08On door.
19:11Huh.
19:12This is actually fun.
19:13I'm actually fun.
19:16Is that Cece?
19:17She got the solo.
19:26So, what's your question?
19:28How great is this?
19:31Pretty great.
19:32I know.
19:41Got a minute?
19:43Sure.
19:43Everything okay?
19:45Not really.
19:46Talk to me.
19:48I think I've done
19:49just about all I can do here.
19:52And to be honest,
19:53I really miss my granddaughter.
19:56I think it's time
19:56for me to go home.
19:59Aw.
20:01Don't do that.
20:03I know you weren't happy
20:04with all the changes I made.
20:06That's true.
20:07True, I wasn't.
20:08But,
20:10I've come to really appreciate
20:11what a difference it makes
20:12to work in a beautiful environment.
20:15Of course,
20:15if you need me,
20:16just pick up the phone
20:17and I'll come running.
20:19I will.
20:20Okay.
20:20Great.
20:22See you tonight.
20:23See you tonight.
20:32Georgie,
20:33Ruben,
20:34get all this crap
20:35out of here.
20:37Even the toilet seat?
20:39No,
20:39that's a keeper.
21:10I'll be right back.
21:10I'll be right back.
21:12Bye.
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