- 5 months ago
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00:05I got this email from a listener, and she says,
00:10Dear Dave and Chuck, keep me anonymous.
00:12This question actually probably more for Lisa.
00:14I went to my female dermatologist for a full body scan.
00:19For this exam, you only wear panties and a bra.
00:23Okay.
00:23Unfortunately, my timing with my dermatologist and my bikini wax was off.
00:29Okay.
00:30Needless to say, I wasn't as tidy down there as I normally am.
00:35Bush.
00:36She says, I'm sure Lisa can confirm that once you start waxing, you can't stop by shaving.
00:43I don't know about.
00:44What does that mean?
00:45Like if you start waxing, you can't shave?
00:48I don't know.
00:49Maybe if you then shaved, it would just break out into some kind of, I don't know.
00:54Yeah, I have no idea.
00:55I don't know.
00:55I don't do the wax, so I don't know.
00:57She said, I didn't want the doctor to think I was footloose and fancy free.
01:02So I apologized for my bush and explained that I'm due for a bikini wax in a couple of days.
01:09That's incredible.
01:10That's incredibly detailed stuff to offer.
01:12It seems like you could shave a little bit.
01:13I don't understand.
01:14I don't know.
01:14I don't get it.
01:15I think she's saying she would break out.
01:17Oh, I think you need the hair to be a certain length if you get the bikini.
01:21So that's why you have to let it go.
01:23That's what it is, what she's saying.
01:24That's right.
01:24Yes.
01:25The doctor looked at me like I had three eyes and said, well, I hope that made you feel
01:30better by telling me.
01:32Yeah.
01:32Yeah.
01:33No one cares.
01:33I was taken aback by this response.
01:35Was I wrong in mentioning something?
01:37You don't need to.
01:38Was it weird?
01:39Yeah, you don't need to.
01:39You just don't need to.
01:41You don't need to.
01:42Made it weird for the doctor, I guess.
01:44I don't know.
01:45Sorry, my pubes are out of control.
01:48I mean, when Jason was getting prodded down there, he didn't.
01:52I mean, he tried to clean up shop and everything for him, but you didn't bring it up.
01:56No.
01:57No.
01:59He had to have known because the first time he investigated and then when the scope
02:03happened, it was too different.
02:05Yeah.
02:05Too different.
02:06He must have been like, thank you, sir.
02:07It looks very nice.
02:09Thank you for getting decent for me.
02:12See, he can't say that to you.
02:13Thank you, sir.
02:14It looks really nice down there.
02:15I just would have been like.
02:17But also, you can't say anything like, clean it up a bit for you boys.
02:21You can't say that either.
02:22Just don't say anything.
02:23No.
02:24I'm sure.
02:25She got in her own head a bit.
02:26Yeah.
02:27In fact, that's why I don't like the whole waxing thing because you do have to let it
02:29grow out.
02:30And it's like, I don't have.
02:31No, no, no.
02:32I just want control over everything.
02:35Right.
02:35Yes.
02:35Wait and let it grow.
02:37And no.
02:37Well, she says, I've been listening for almost 20 years.
02:41Thanks for all the laughs.
02:42Do you understand the bushes that doctors have seen?
02:46Oh, my God.
02:46Oh, yeah.
02:47Like the bushes.
02:48I mean, anyone.
02:49One, if you've waxed and you go in there, your bush is nowhere near what they've seen.
02:57You're in the stage of like, oh, it's just not quite.
02:59It's a little long.
03:01It's not.
03:01Come on.
03:02This guy says, as a guy who goes to get his balls waxed, which is wild.
03:08Wild.
03:09There's no going back to shaving.
03:11I've discovered the irritation is not worth it.
03:15A guy getting his balls waxed to me is, one, it sounds like unbelievable torture.
03:21And two, who does that?
03:24Who do you let handle your balls in such a fashion?
03:27If a lady is clasping me on my eggs.
03:31Yeah, but you're not.
03:32If you're doing this, you're not into it.
03:34You're not into it.
03:36I don't think.
03:37I think the gentleman who waxes balls, Chuck, believes you are not into ladies.
03:41So if you want to correct us.
03:43Yes, I do, sir.
03:44I would be crazed.
03:46My husband's like, I'm going to get my balls waxed.
03:48I'll be back in an hour.
03:49Oh, my God.
03:51What are you doing?
03:52What are you doing?
03:53Wait, whoa.
03:54What are you doing after that?
03:56You're going to go meet a man?
03:58Yeah.
03:58See?
03:59Exactly.
04:00Right?
04:01Right?
04:01You don't need to do that.
04:02I don't care about your balls.
04:04They're not.
04:05They're not.
04:05Listen, those things can be furry.
04:08Like a furry peach.
04:10No one is touching them.
04:12No one.
04:13No one wants them.
04:14I mean, maybe there's some progressive couples or there's some couples that did it different
04:17that have no problem.
04:19But I think most women, if they're guys said, I'll be back later.
04:23I'm going to get my balls waxed.
04:25Stop dead in your tracks.
04:26Don't do that for me.
04:27Who are you doing that for?
04:28Because who are you doing it for?
04:30I mean, I just don't know who you're doing it for.
04:32Just relax about your hair.
04:32Do you just like nice, smooth eggs?
04:35I guess.
04:37The only time I ever really take care of those bad boys is when I've looked down and I'm
04:43shocked by it.
04:44And then if I look down and I'm like, whoa.
04:47I'm like, I should probably.
04:48Yeah.
04:48We don't need to.
04:49I don't want anyone else to have that kind of reaction.
04:52Okay.
04:53Full disclosure.
04:54Too much info.
04:54But I do like shave the balls completely.
04:58If I'm going to do that.
05:00Oh.
05:01I'll just hit them with some scissors.
05:03Oh, you will?
05:03No.
05:04I go.
05:05Yeah.
05:05I just hit them with the old manscape.
05:07Yeah.
05:07I got that too.
05:08Yeah.
05:09Yeah.
05:09You know, sometimes it just depends on the length.
05:11Yeah.
05:12I don't go all the way down.
05:14I do on the balls, not on the rest.
05:16Oh.
05:18No.
05:18No.
05:19It's too much work, man.
05:21It is a lot.
05:22Trim back the edges a bit and keep riding.
05:24The ball waxer, by the way, says, I am married, by the way, not into sword fighting.
05:29I don't know.
05:32I don't know.
05:32So you do tell your wife I'll be back in an hour.
05:35Back in an hour just going to get my balls waxed.
05:37See you, babe.
05:38There needs to be a sword around.
05:41Are you upset about that?
05:44This person said I had an ex who was in the military.
05:47He kept his stuff bald, and I got to say it was amazing.
05:50He said he kept it that way because it cut down on the chafing.
05:55Well, sure.
05:55I can understand it.
05:57It's just I understand it more if you are like a hairless person.
06:03If you're a hairless person, I can see you just being like, I'm going to take it right
06:08down to the wood.
06:09It's different with me.
06:10I look like a lighthouse down there.
06:12It's like I'm warding ships away.
06:14I think some hair is okay down there.
06:15I think it is, too.
06:16It looks weird without me.
06:17Yeah, it does.
06:18On men, for sure.
06:20Yes.
06:20I think, guys.
06:22It feels weird for me.
06:24It feels weird just to have this one spot.
06:26That's what I mean.
06:27It's just such a weird.
06:29Because then I'm not doing my legs.
06:32The undercarriage.
06:33I've gone way too far before.
06:35Me, too.
06:35Well, that's the problem.
06:37That's what I did for this scope.
06:38I'm like, oh, no.
06:39Got to even it.
06:40Oh, no.
06:41Too much.
06:41Yeah.
06:41Then when there's nothing left, I can't do that.
06:44It's terrible.
06:44I did the nair in that.
06:46I mean, it ate my hair away.
06:48Yeah.
06:48And it was a shock.
06:49But I've done the thing where it's like, okay, I took it a bit too far down in the front.
06:53And then I realized, well, now it looks like the sides of my, I've got to take them down.
06:58And then all of a sudden I'm taking down the butt cheek and then I'm like, what am I doing?
07:02Then I'm doing the leg.
07:04I'm like, what am I doing?
07:05What have I done?
07:06This guy says my partner and I both shave each other down there.
07:09Very cool.
07:09And that's great.
07:10If you've got a little setup that you, you take care of that.
07:13A whole bunch of different things.
07:14Okay.
07:14This lady said my ex-husband used to nair his chest, his pubes, and his butthole.
07:20Mm-hmm.
07:20One time he decided to do it in my mom's bathtub and it plugged the tub so bad she had
07:25to call a plumber.
07:25Holy crap.
07:27Can you imagine?
07:27Sorry my son-in-law's butt pubes are blocking the tub.
07:31Oh, my God.
07:31Yeah.
07:31You have to do that at your own place.
07:35You have to have a little catch drain, right?
07:37That's strange.
07:37You're going to do that much hair?
07:39Let's have a little catch.
07:41Let's get a little.
07:42Mushroom works wonders.
07:43Oh, the mushroom.
07:43Oh, yeah.
07:44The mushroom.
07:44The tub mushroom.
07:45Whatever you call it.
07:46Yeah.
07:46That's a hairy man.
07:47You need it.
07:48Oh.
07:49Why is he doing his butthole?
07:51You know why.
07:52You only do it if someone's visiting, man.
07:54I don't know.
07:54You only do it if people are stopping by there.
07:58This guy says there's a guy who waxes bald balls and Schmeckle feels amazing.
08:03Huh.
08:03Okay.
08:04Schmeckle.
08:04Not sure.
08:05That's a wiener, I believe.
08:07Okay.
08:07Yiddish.
08:08So, someone's waxing his wiener around a base, I guess.
08:14I have, I believe that a lot of the hair that's down there is almost like barbed wire.
08:20Like, it's like, do not enter.
08:21You know?
08:22Around the base?
08:23Well, if you went to a property and there was a bunch of barbed wire around, you'd be like,
08:27I don't think we can go in there.
08:28Right?
08:29Right?
08:30That is what, I build it up.
08:33I'll build it up.
08:34I fortify the back.
08:36This guy says, I get waxed to prevent chafing.
08:38Holy hell, how many guys wax their bits?
08:42Apparently a lot.
08:42More than we realize.
08:44Best feeling is having a freshly waxed ass crack.
08:48Cleanup is so easy.
08:50Well, I'm sure it is, but there is, you know, if you've done anything back there where you've
08:56shaved it off or you've nared or whatever, the growing back in is a tragedy.
09:03It hurts so bad.
09:04It's awful.
09:06It's just not worth, the juice isn't worth the squeeze.
09:10I don't know.
09:11Good way to put it.
09:12I don't want to know about back juice.
09:13It's not worth it.
09:15Squeeze and her juice.
09:16It's not worth it.
09:17It's just unbelievable how many people do this.
09:19I just think, as a guy, can you imagine the thought of hot wax being put on your balls
09:25and then being ripped?
09:28Except the pain.
09:29Some people like it.
09:30Okay, but I don't like it.
09:32No, I know.
09:32I wouldn't like it either.
09:33So I feel like I'd, one, I feel like I'd bleed out or it would just be unbelievable pain.
09:39Like I said, I don't like the people that I would trust the most down in that area to
09:43really, you don't even, you know, leave those to me.
09:47Those things, I'm the only one.
09:49I really only trust myself.
09:50It just seems it's something you can take care of yourself.
09:54Yeah.
09:54You don't got to go put some lady through that.
09:57She's got to tape your penis up and wax your balls.
10:00How uncomfortable would that be for you guys?
10:02How do you separate the sexual part of that?
10:05You can't.
10:06I mean, ladies get their stuff waxed all the time.
10:09They go for a bikini wax.
10:10I think that's wild too.
10:11But it's lady on lady and it seems more acceptable.
10:13It's still weird though.
10:15It's still weird.
10:15Yeah.
10:16I'm sure.
10:16And I'm sure they see disgusting things.
10:18And very attractive things.
10:20Well, sure.
10:20But as a lady doing a guy, how do you do, like, I would not be cool if Amber was
10:26an
10:26esthetician, like, yeah, I did another guy's crack and sack today.
10:30I'm loaded with cracks and sacks this week.
10:33I know.
10:33You got to grab it.
10:34You got to pull it straight.
10:36Are you okay with that?
10:37No.
10:37That's the last thing I'd want to do for a living.
10:39Crack and sack?
10:40No.
10:41It's a great name for a business.
10:43Cracks and sack.
10:43Yeah, but it's a bad business.
10:45You're just like, well, maybe there's more people that would go than we realize.
10:48Amazing.
10:49According to this.
10:51But could you set it up in the same way that, like, some of the hairdressing places,
10:57where it's, like, beautiful women will, at the crack and sack?
11:02Oh.
11:03You know what I mean?
11:03Hot chicks at the crack and sack.
11:05Yeah, you know what I mean?
11:06Like, you know what you're getting.
11:07It's wicked amazing.
11:08Yeah.
11:08Yeah.
11:09You know what I mean?
11:10Yeah.
11:11Set it up like that.
11:12Dave and Chuck's crack and sack.
11:15It's wicked amazing.
11:17I think we got to business.
11:18Oh, wow.
11:19We got to find people.
11:20I know.
11:20We got to find hot chicks that are willing to do cracks and sacks.
11:22I can get one of those hats with them.
11:24I think we'd have to give them crack in order to get them to do the cracks and sacks.
11:28That's probably it.
11:29This guy said, okay, I know it's weird, but I get my backside done.
11:35All I get waxed is my butt crack.
11:38It keeps it nice and clean, and it's so much nicer.
11:42So this guy just waxes his butt crack.
11:45So many hairy cracks.
11:46Yeah, there are.
11:47I have no idea.
11:48That's why I don't feel so bad about mine.
11:50I know I'm not alone.
11:57There you go.
11:58Yeah.
11:59I'll just do the butt crack, please.
12:01Just the crack, no sack.
12:03I just can't even imagine putting a lady through that and having to watch me get up on all fours.
12:10Good God.
12:11And the guy that does the waxing said, I stubbed my toe.
12:14That's more painful than getting waxed down there.
12:17I do think that you build a tolerance for it, too.
12:20Like, when I was getting my back done with that laser, it became like I didn't even feel it.
12:27Like, I literally could just fall asleep while they were doing it.
12:29And at first, it was fairly painful.
12:32But my girl saw me shaving my balls in the shower against the grain with a real razor.
12:39And she screamed, oh, my God.
12:41Almost made me cut myself.
12:43Yeah, don't shock me.
12:45Don't shock me while I'm in the thralls of it.
12:49Keep your comments to yourself.
12:50Peanut gallery.
12:53I don't know why he's taking it against the grain down there.
12:56I mean, we just relax down there, you know.
12:59Then you can get, like, ingrown hair.
13:01Oh, yeah, it's a really bad idea.
13:03Be super careful.
13:04Real bad idea.
13:05But watch out for Dave and Chuck's Kraken sack coming soon.
13:09Yeah.
13:10It's wicked amazing.
13:11It's wicked amazing.
13:12It's wicked amazing.
13:13Get waxed with the Kraken sack.
13:16Yeah.
13:17Another fantastic idea from the brilliant minds of Dave and Chuck.
13:21There we go.
13:22As they say.
13:23Yeah.