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00:00Baaaaaaah!
00:01OHHHH!
00:02OHHHHH!
00:02What do you think I don't like that?
00:03Well, I'll tell you what they had!
00:08Oh, Barcelona...
00:10No, I don't like that this guy's trying to tell me how to eat my dinner.
00:14A what?
00:15Fetish!
00:15I had no idea that was a thing...
00:17Remove my britches, expose your loins...
00:20I like that!
00:20Oh!
00:23Oh, Ronnie!
00:24This is weird...
00:25He's a mercery bugger, isn't he?
00:27This is why I don't die...
00:28Cos that is dicing the devil.
00:30Oh, no.
00:30He suffers for his heart, doesn't he?
00:33A Bentley Continental!
00:35I think I'd rather call it a day, Natalie, wouldn't you?
00:37Who's been arrested now and for what?
00:41In the week by George, sang for San Marino in the Eurovision semis,
00:46we enjoyed lots of great telly.
00:49There was more drama from Downing Street dominating the headlines.
00:53The Prime Minister arrived here, his job on the line.
00:57Some in his party have fretted he's not up to it.
01:00For months, they are out to destroy a once great country.
01:05You think he's taken the job as PM in order to destroy it?
01:08Destroy it, yeah.
01:09What?
01:10You think he's pretend...
01:11Probably in league with the World Economic Forum and Klaus Schwab.
01:16Oh, Charles, you do sound like a nutter.
01:18It was the party of all parties for a national treasure on BBC One.
01:23And I think to myself...
01:26What a wonderful world.
01:29The world doesn't look like that now.
01:31It's got Walker's crisps all over the floor.
01:43It's sad.
01:44And they were desperately seeking some romance on Channel 4.
01:48My parents are both romantic, but the relationship with my mum,
01:52when it comes to dating and love, is really special.
01:55You see, it's weird, isn't it?
01:57You know, when love's first bud, it's like a flower, isn't it, love,
02:01when you think about it.
02:02You know, your first date is like the shoot where it just comes out.
02:05And then, as time progresses, it gets nice and expands and the love gets bigger.
02:10And then, ultimately, it dies.
02:23Oh, don't make yourself unattractive to me.
02:26Let me hold one.
02:27These are the first vegetables of the season, Mary.
02:30Let me hold one.
02:31Giles and his wife, Mary.
02:33One big one for Daddy.
02:34Right.
02:35One smaller one for Mummy.
02:36I'm off.
02:37No, don't spoil the moment.
02:39Let me hold it, then.
02:40Don't spoil the moment, Natty.
02:42Let this be a happy family moment.
02:45On Friday, Channel 4 had us counting down to the weekend.
02:49Right, come on, Ellie.
02:50Look alive.
02:53Oxygenate the brain.
02:54Calm down.
02:55Reminds me of getting off the school bus,
02:57going to me gran and grandad's,
02:59having tea and watching the telly.
03:06Concentrate, Martha.
03:07We're going to have a child genius on our hands if we keep this up.
03:11It's the most middle-aged shit I've ever seen.
03:14Already five octal chants have been crowned.
03:17Could be six by the end of today.
03:19Ooh, excitement.
03:20The tension.
03:22Reintroduced, for the last time for now,
03:24our champion, Patrick Thompson.
03:26We've got the champion on with a face like a smacked arse.
03:28Patrick looks like my tone of whiz.
03:31You're up against Simon Randall.
03:33Oh, my life is my friend Simon Randall.
03:36It's not.
03:37It is.
03:40Come on, Simon.
03:43Consonant, please.
03:44Start today with R.
03:46Oh, here we go.
03:46Right.
03:48Oh, she's loving it.
03:49And another H.
03:51So what's happening here?
03:53Right, are you...
03:54For someone that watched it every night
03:56to your gran and grandad's,
03:57you weren't fucking watching, were you?
03:58I wasn't watching, I was listening.
04:00And another U.
04:02What was yours?
04:03Oh, yeah.
04:03She's trying to tell you.
04:04And another M.
04:06Oh.
04:08Phenomenon.
04:09That was no M.
04:12Bone.
04:14Bone.
04:14Oh, yeah.
04:15Yeah.
04:16Bone, yeah.
04:19F-fu...
04:21F-u-in.
04:22Neon.
04:24Oh, no.
04:25For-well-well-one.
04:26Can't even do that.
04:26In my defence, English is, like, our third language.
04:31Fuck me, this is horrible.
04:33Hang on a minute. Hang on a minute.
04:35Peroni, my favourite. Peroni!
04:38Phone. Phone.
04:40Phone.
04:46I've got nothing.
04:47iPhone.
04:50Patrick.
04:50Seven.
04:51He's got a seven out of that.
04:53Oh, well, he would smart.
04:54Patrick got a seven.
04:56Simon. Seven as well.
04:58He's got a seven as well. We've got a jewel.
05:00Excellent stuff, Patrick.
05:01Phonia.
05:02Phonia?
05:03Phonia?
05:03There's no F.
05:06And for you, Simon.
05:07Yep, the same.
05:08Get in!
05:10What's phonia?
05:12Like a phobia.
05:13He said phonia.
05:14Yeah, so you're scared of phones.
05:17You've got phonia.
05:18That's like when you've got two phones.
05:20One of them looks quite a bit like a phone,
05:23but the other one's just a bit more phonia.
05:27There's your phonia.
05:27There's your phonia.
05:29Oh, it's there, Kaz.
05:31Consonant, please, Rachel.
05:32Thank you, Patrick.
05:33L.
05:34L.
05:34Here we go.
05:35And another.
05:37E.
05:38Lapislazuli.
05:39Lee.
05:41Oh, yeah, it's got Lee, yeah.
05:43Consonant, please.
05:44P.
05:44Pens.
05:45Pens.
05:46Penis.
05:47Mary.
05:48Penis.
05:49Consonant.
05:49Mother.
05:58O.P.E.N.E.S.
06:01Oh, God.
06:06Penis it is, then.
06:07She's trying to tell us the answer here.
06:09You're not listening.
06:10She's saying penises as well.
06:12Is she?
06:12That's going to be her first word.
06:14Shoot up it.
06:15Patrick, please say penis.
06:16Eight.
06:17Eight?
06:17Oh, from what?
06:20And for you, Simon?
06:21Just seven.
06:21Just a seven?
06:23Oh, Simon's got a seven, Jane.
06:25What's the seven?
06:26Pennies.
06:26Pennies.
06:27Very good.
06:28And the pennies dropped for Patrick.
06:30Pensione?
06:30Is that Italian for penis?
06:32What's that?
06:33An Indian dish?
06:34Pensione.
06:35Oh, no, I'm thinking of peshwari.
06:36Oh, nice.
06:37Patrick, though, brilliant on the conundrums.
06:40Oh, the conundrums.
06:41The conundrums.
06:42I can't even say it.
06:42Easy for you to say.
06:43Sometimes it comes to me in a flash.
06:47It does.
06:48Let's find out and reveal Friday's.
06:50Count that conundrum.
06:53Oh, what?
06:54The clock didn't even start.
06:56That is mental, that.
06:58Resembled.
06:59Let's have a look.
07:01Oh.
07:02How?
07:02Shut up.
07:04Unbelievable.
07:05Patrick Thompson.
07:07Look at the clock.
07:09Yeah.
07:10Will you text, Simon?
07:11Have you got Shannon's text number?
07:13Will you contact me?
07:14Yeah, yeah, yeah.
07:14I saw you.
07:15I messaged you.
07:16Saw you on Countdown, Simon.
07:22In Leeds.
07:23Right, what do you want?
07:25Crisp-wise, smoky bacon, roast chicken, cheese and onion, beef hula's, prawn cocktail.
07:31Already salted.
07:33Smoky bacon, please.
07:34Wait till you see this.
07:36Sisters Ellie and Dizzy.
07:38So, I've done us a bread cake each, half way for thin ham, half way for thin chicken.
07:44Get fucked, Fudge.
07:45Then a cheeky half.
07:46Oh.
07:49Lashings of butter.
07:50Yeah, but is it?
07:52Oh, my God.
07:53I had boiled eggs and soldiers before I came round here.
07:55I was absolutely stuffed.
07:57Really?
07:58Do you think I could...
07:59Give it for later, put it in boil, check it home.
08:03Or just force it in and pog yourself.
08:06Also an option.
08:08Yeah.
08:09On Monday, Rav and the team were fighting crime online again on BBC One.
08:14Oh, no.
08:15Do you need to get out because you want to watch Scam Interceptors?
08:18Let's see how we can fraud people.
08:20No, it's how you can protect yourself from baddies.
08:22Yeah, protect people.
08:24Yeah.
08:27The only thing I think you should be aware of is if it sounds too good to be true, it
08:34usually
08:34isn't.
08:35Do you not understand that?
08:37Yeah, you just contradict.
08:38If it sounds too good to be true, then it is too good to be true, isn't it?
08:43Yes.
08:44You just said it isn't.
08:45It isn't true.
08:48If it sounds too good to be true, then it is too good to be true.
08:53To be true.
08:54That's it.
08:55I'm glad you're not dishing out too much advice.
08:57You get people all over the shop.
09:00Has you ever been a loyal customer to the Sky for so long, a long time?
09:03To the Sky.
09:05The company has decided to give you back your one-year-line return money.
09:08Oh my God, I had this happen to me.
09:11As if.
09:12I'd be like, don't lie to me.
09:14Oh, yeah.
09:14No one gives you any feedback because you've been a good customer, do they?
09:18You've just found more remote access on someone else's device.
09:21Different Scam, now Sky impersonation, it seems.
09:23Oh, Rav's looking extra dish here, like how he's gelled his hair today.
09:26And that might pull up.
09:28And in this case, we can see that he's got remote access to this man's mobile phone.
09:31Talk us through it, curtains.
09:32On the right-hand side of the screen, and then on the left, he's currently signing them up for online
09:37banking.
09:37Oh my God.
09:38No, that's quite scary.
09:39This is a really complex operation, like he's got him to download software.
09:44You've got no chance in that.
09:45Do you have a remote on?
09:46It's a big amount of money, ÂŁ498 all in total.
09:51You are going to get from Sky.
09:52Sky would never do that.
09:54You used to work for them, yeah.
09:56I worked for them for six months before they felt they'd seen enough of me.
09:59You got their debit card with you, am I correct?
10:02Oh, debit card, no protection.
10:04We need your number, we need your PIN code.
10:06Oh, yes.
10:07The man is told to place his card in front of his phone camera.
10:12That's so they can capture a picture of the card and use it again on somewhere else.
10:16Thanks to ethical hacker Agent G9...
10:18Sorry, what?
10:19What the fuck?
10:21...we now know the man's name, his mobile number and postcode.
10:26Oh, brilliant.
10:27But remember, they can't ring him.
10:28Yeah.
10:29They've now got to get someone round there quick.
10:31Yeah.
10:31To protect his identity, we'll call him John.
10:34John.
10:35Poor John's going to get scammed.
10:36He tells John to check his TV.
10:39While he does that, the scammer steals his money.
10:43No!
10:45Sending ÂŁ500.
10:47He's taken ÂŁ500 over his account.
10:49Oh, my God.
10:50Transfer created.
10:51He's doing another transaction now, another 498 quid.
10:54He's doing it again.
10:55An interceptor, Alice, makes a breakthrough.
10:58Oh, come on, Alice.
11:00She finds the telephone number of a neighbour.
11:04Hallelujah.
11:05A new bed.
11:06Yeah, that was good.
11:06That's brilliant, Alice.
11:09First transfer's done.
11:11Hello?
11:11Oh, hello.
11:13They're in.
11:13They're in.
11:14There is someone, I believe, a couple of doors down from your road
11:18who is actually in the process of being scammed.
11:21Can you imagine getting that phone call?
11:23I'd be like, this sounds like a scam.
11:24What do you mean?
11:25I'd go to the door.
11:26I literally just need a knock on the door and to say,
11:29please get off the phone that you are talking to a scammer.
11:32Come on, lady.
11:33I can phone him and speak to him and explain what's going on.
11:35OK, then.
11:36Oh, she's a good lass, isn't she?
11:37Well, you'd do that straight away, wouldn't you?
11:39Oh, I know.
11:40What's happened?
11:42Is this it?
11:43I think she's there.
11:44She's there?
11:45She's on the door.
11:47You don't need to open the door right now
11:48because the internet work is going on right now.
11:50Oh, you cheeky bugger.
11:52Whoa.
11:53Internet work is going on right now.
11:56No, no, no, no, no, Mr Scammer.
11:58Someone's here.
12:00Hello?
12:01Hello?
12:03John?
12:04Are you there, John?
12:06The call ended.
12:07Oh!
12:10That's the result.
12:12Get ready to be here.
12:14Yeah?
12:15This is Rav Wilding from the Scam Interceptor programme.
12:17Oh, this is Rav from the BBC.
12:20Yeah?
12:20I sent your neighbour to your house.
12:23Are you OK?
12:25What the **** going on?
12:27Oh, he's so distressed.
12:29I need to reach out to Rav Wilding.
12:31Some arsehole has cloned my card details.
12:34You're joking.
12:35I spent 140 quid on me card.
12:37Shit.
12:37But the best bit was the fact we're going,
12:39are you sure you've not spent this money?
12:41Yeah, I'm sure.
12:42Do you even know who I am?
12:45I wouldn't spend 140 quid on anything.
12:53In your room...
12:55The best thing I've ever bought Josh with is barbecue.
12:57You have them every night, don't you?
12:59Every night.
13:00Best friends, Abby and Georgia.
13:02It's a plug-in barbecue.
13:04I know, but why are you not just cooking indoors
13:06until it gets sunny outside?
13:07Because I don't like the smell of food.
13:10So any smell of meat is outside,
13:14wafting away in the wind.
13:17Josh loves it.
13:18He saves every day.
13:20I love this barbecue.
13:22It's a wood-fired barbecue.
13:24What if you wanted rice?
13:26I've also got a microwave.
13:28So you don't put everything on the barbecue?
13:30No, I don't cook fucking rice on the barbecue.
13:34What?
13:37On Friday night,
13:38the whole nation settled in
13:40to celebrate a remarkable milestone birthday.
13:43Oh, celebration drink!
13:45It is, but it looks like wallpaper paste.
13:48Pina colada, innit?
13:49Yeah.
13:50And it tastes like wallpaper paste.
13:52Cheers, Sir David.
13:53Oh, no, properly.
13:54Cheers, Sir David.
13:56Happy 100th birthday.
13:57Yeah.
13:57Hello and welcome to London's Royal Albert Hall.
14:01Oh, look at that.
14:03Isn't that nice?
14:04Tonight, we have a very special evening
14:06of music and celebration in store.
14:08Do they not realise that we can see them operating?
14:12And tonight is all about celebrating
14:14the incredible life of the one and only
14:17Sir David Attenborough.
14:18To me, David Attenborough is the male version of the Queen.
14:21I think of, you know, I'm proud to be British
14:26when I think of David Attenborough.
14:28When I think of him...
14:29Yes, steady.
14:31Oh, he's just so perfect and admirable.
14:35Unlike your miserable husband.
14:39I know you've got a few good things about you, Nutty.
14:43Oh, thanks for that, Mary.
14:47I think David Attenborough is the only person
14:49all us British people can agree on.
14:52It is a national treasure.
14:53He is.
14:54He can't have haters.
14:55I refuse to believe he has a hater.
14:57There was no expense spared
14:59as an old pal of David's
15:01shared some special memories.
15:03Dear David.
15:04Oh, an actual letter.
15:07It is amazing to think
15:09that you and I have known one another
15:10for more than 60 years.
15:12More than 60 years?
15:14They're like BFFs.
15:15Indeed, I believe we first met in 1958.
15:19What?
15:20Almost a decade
15:21before the age of colour television.
15:24Look at King Charles.
15:25Where's King Charles?
15:26Yeah, Anne-Anne.
15:28Princess Anne.
15:29Oh, who's David Attenborough?
15:30Dave!
15:31Oh, Willow.
15:31Not the bloody parrot.
15:33You have shared my determination
15:35to highlight
15:37the urgent need
15:39to protect
15:40and preserve
15:41this precious planet of ours.
15:45I'm going to cry.
15:46Are you going to cry?
15:46I don't know why.
15:48Yeah, he's really, really
15:49added to my life.
15:51I feel like
15:52I want to be friends
15:53with David and King Charles.
15:55You've missed the boat now.
15:56They've got their small circle.
15:58Thank you, then,
15:59for all that you have done.
16:01And on behalf
16:03of the whole nation,
16:05I wish you
16:07a very happy
16:09100th birthday.
16:12Oh!
16:13What's going on?
16:14What's going on?
16:15There's a tree down.
16:17Oh, stop it!
16:19Oh, my God!
16:19Stop it!
16:20Here we go.
16:21We've got a border collie
16:22with a letter in its mouth,
16:23eyes.
16:26Oh!
16:28How have they taught
16:29that dog to deliver
16:30my life?
16:32Well, it's only fitting
16:33an animal should
16:34deliver it, isn't it?
16:35I know, yeah.
16:36I know, yeah.
16:52Oh, Christ,
16:53where's it going now?
16:56Oh!
16:57It's stuck in the head jog!
16:59I thought I was going to cut
17:00the head jog in half!
17:04Squirrel's in on it now.
17:05Red squirrel.
17:07Not grey.
17:08Oh, they've all come out
17:09to take his cab.
17:10Jenny, it's not fucking real.
17:18Bloody hell.
17:19It's amazing, isn't it?
17:23Aye, I don't think
17:24it's actually happening,
17:25my love.
17:26Well, it's only
17:26first, my bubble,
17:27then.
17:29Fucking hell.
17:35I wonder if this is
17:37Sir David's actual house.
17:38Very touch.
17:40I wonder who
17:41brought this up.
17:45Oh, he's got an English
17:46handle.
17:47Oh, my God.
17:48Oh, how good
17:49does he look for 100?
17:51He doesn't look amazing.
17:52He looks really good.
17:56That's it.
18:00Oh, my God,
18:01we get to be a part of
18:02singing Happy Birthday
18:03to David Attenborough.
18:04Day to you.
18:07Day to you.
18:10Day to you.
18:10Day to you.
18:17Day to you.
18:20Day to you.
18:21I'd have gone with Stevie
18:22wonder option
18:22if it were made.
18:25Oh, look at his little face.
18:27He looks genuinely happy,
18:28doesn't he?
18:30Look at those people with their nice faces.
18:34Are you finished?
18:35Yeah.
18:36What are you crying for again?
18:38I know, I can't help.
18:39I think it's real emotional.
18:40That's probably the most epic birthday shout out.
18:44Ever.
18:45Ever.
18:46Yeah.
18:47Later, it only seemed right to hear from Sir David himself.
18:53I see trees of green.
18:56Red roses, too.
18:59I see them bloom.
19:01Hang on, this is a song, Mary.
19:03I know.
19:03What's the song?
19:04What a Wonderful World by Louis Armstrong.
19:07By Louis Armstrong.
19:08And I think to myself...
19:10Stop it!
19:13What a wonderful world.
19:15It is a wonderful world when you look at the beauty, isn't it?
19:18That's because you're in it, David, that's why.
19:20I see skies of blue.
19:24Clouds of white.
19:26I've got goosebumps.
19:27Bright, blessed days.
19:30Oh, I'm embarrassed.
19:32Look, I have some crack.
19:33And I think to myself...
19:37What a wonderful world.
19:41What a wonderful world.
19:43Mm-hmm.
19:44Clotted.
19:45The colours of a rainbow, so pretty in the sky, are also on the faces of people going by.
19:58Right, come on, pull yourself together.
20:00The glasses are steamed up and eat me with screen wipers.
20:03I never want to hear another version of this song again.
20:05No, I agree, actually.
20:07This is the version that lives on forever now.
20:10I hear babies cry.
20:13I watch them grow.
20:16Oh, it is beautiful, isn't it?
20:19It really is, look.
20:20So, David is so nice, because in a shit world, he reminds you there are pockets of beautiful that still
20:26exist.
20:26Yeah.
20:28Might seem to be wonderful.
20:32I mean, what a legacy, David Attenborough.
20:36I mean, he hasn't got a legacy.
20:38He is a legacy.
20:40What do you think we're going to be remembered for?
20:44Caravans and chickens.
20:46Spam sarnies.
20:47Spam sandwiches.
20:48I could do you a nice montage for your birthday.
20:52What you've done in your life.
20:54I haven't done much lately.
20:55I know, it won't be long.
20:56No.
20:57I don't think David realises what he's actually added to the world.
21:00He's learnt me so much.
21:02And me.
21:11If Aston Villa are in the top four of the league.
21:16No, top five.
21:17Top five of the league.
21:20Or they win this cup match that they're doing.
21:24Yes.
21:25The UEFA Cup.
21:25That's the one.
21:26Teresa and her wife Anita.
21:29Then that means that next series?
21:32Season.
21:33Season.
21:34They will be in the Champions League.
21:37Champions League.
21:38Yes.
21:38And they play other teams around the world.
21:42Yeah, around Europe.
21:43Yeah.
21:44Okay.
21:45Right.
21:46Okay.
21:47Well done.
21:48Well done.
21:48I'm impressed.
21:49Yeah, well I'm just trying to work out, you see, whether I want them to lose so that
21:55they don't play so many games next year so I don't have to sit here and endure so many
21:59matches.
22:00But if they lose then you're going to be a bit sad.
22:03You.
22:05I can't even believe you're thinking that.
22:09On Friday night the political popularity contest was making the headlines and ITV was
22:16outside number 10 with the latest update.
22:18Did you vote, Jane?
22:19I did vote somewhere.
22:20Well done you.
22:21Did you vote in person or postal?
22:23But in person.
22:24Did you?
22:24Yes, I don't like postal.
22:26Okay.
22:26So, yeah, it's only down the road.
22:28I had a dream last night.
22:29I went out for a pub tea with Nigel Farage because I was his mate and then I picked up
22:35the bill.
22:35He said, did I want to go out?
22:37And I went, no, it's alright, I'll get it.
22:39Jesus.
22:40What the hell?
22:43Good evening from Downing Street where the Prime Minister is vowing to fight on.
22:47Can you see Kea Curtin switching in the back?
22:51Get our TV off, what's she saying?
22:54Despite Labour suffering humiliating losses after elections in England, Scotland and Wales.
23:00This isn't a poll.
23:01This is actually a true temperature check of what this nation is thinking and feeling
23:04right now.
23:05And it ain't Labour.
23:06Just tell you one thing about local elections, Mary, is that people often vote in local
23:11elections in a reckless way that they wouldn't when it was actually the national
23:16elections because the local elections can be viewed as a protest vote.
23:21I know that, darling.
23:23Do you want me to mansplain any more?
23:25No.
23:26No, okay.
23:27Sir Keir Starmer said he would take responsibility for the painful results but that he wouldn't
23:31quit.
23:32Well, who else could take responsibility?
23:34The back's got to stop somewhere.
23:36Make me.
23:37Make me go.
23:37Make me go.
23:38God.
23:39He's locked himself in.
23:40But when he says he'll take responsibility, what is that responsibility that he's going
23:44to take?
23:45Well, he's the front man, isn't he?
23:46So he gets all shit.
23:47It's like Gary Barlow.
23:49Yeah.
23:49He's the Gary Barlow of the Labour Party.
23:51Reform UK took hundreds of council seats in England from Labour.
23:55Yeah, they've taken temps, haven't they?
23:57Reform.
23:58With a leader Nigel Farage saying it showed there was an historic shift away from the
24:03two main parties.
24:04I think everybody wants to mix it up.
24:06I'm just concerned about what we're mixing it up with.
24:09Exactly.
24:10Yesterday is the first time in my life that I hadn't made my mind up on who to vote
24:17for because I didn't, I'm so disillusioned.
24:23The jubilation was mainly measured in teal rosettes.
24:26No, I used to like teal until reform took over.
24:29As reform surged from Hartlepool to Havering.
24:33Look at that swagger.
24:34We like reform, don't we?
24:36We do.
24:36I like Nigel Farage.
24:37A lot of my friends think he's awful.
24:39There's something that we can't deny is the amount of people voting for reform.
24:44And whatever you think about them, there's some appeal.
24:47They're tapping into something.
24:49Even if I don't like it, they're saying something that people want to hear.
24:54Do you know what?
24:54I thought what I need to start doing is, actually now, my local councillor who is reformed
25:00need to start emailing her, complaining about all the dog shit on my path.
25:04Can we have another bin?
25:06Can we this?
25:07Can we that?
25:07Can we whatever?
25:08And see if they're up to much.
25:10Exactly.
25:10That's what it's about.
25:11Labour not just being punished on their right, but also by the Greens on their left.
25:17Look at all those moustaches in the Green Party.
25:20Mullets and moustaches, all of them.
25:22Greens are always hugging, aren't they?
25:25You don't see many reformed people hugging.
25:27No.
25:28I don't think reformed people like physical contact.
25:31The voters have sent a message about the pace of change, how they want their lives improved.
25:36Well, they've sent a shot right across your bow, hasn't they, sunshine?
25:40Yeah.
25:40I think a lot of Labour MPs think now that he's stark raping bonkers nothing.
25:45Do you think he's been replaced by an AI?
25:47In a storm, if he didn't sound like that, I think a lot more people would like him.
25:50If he's talked like this instead.
25:51Yeah.
25:52He's got a distinguished face, hasn't he?
25:53Yeah.
25:53Imagine that face sounding like, I don't know, Roger Moore or somebody like that.
25:57Yeah.
25:58I'd listen to what I'd say.
25:59We're the most shallow voters ever, aren't we?
26:02I was elected to meet those challenges and I'm not going to walk away from those challenges
26:08and plunge the country into chaos.
26:11I mean, it's already kind of in chaos, mate, to be honest.
26:13Have you not seen...
26:14Have you been out the house recently?
26:17Really, we just need care to stay in charge until the end of the summer and then he can step
26:21down.
26:21Why till the end of summer?
26:24Because he said he'll let pubs stay open an extra two hours in the World Cup.
26:27Poor Keir, I'm very sorry for him.
26:30Because I don't think he means any harm.
26:33I don't feel sorry for him. The sooner he goes, the better.
26:36Every time he steps out of his door, people shout insults at him.
26:40And he seems to be the only one that doesn't know it.
26:43Giles, I really think that with a couple of years to go till you're dead,
26:47there is no point in you watching this stuff.
26:52In home...
26:53Do you know, Lee, I'm going to get all my bits done for my holidays.
26:55Oh, no, no.
26:56You know, all my legs.
26:57Yes.
26:58Best friends Jenny and Lee.
27:00What I noticed the other day, when I looked under my arms...
27:05I ain't got no...
27:05You're like a gorilla?
27:07No.
27:07I ain't got none.
27:09I ain't got any hairs under my hands.
27:11Have you not?
27:12No.
27:13Why?
27:13I ain't used anything.
27:15So you've got more on your chin than under your arms.
27:18This week it was a new action-packed drama that had us gripped on Sky.
27:23I feel like a prisoner in this house.
27:24Because whenever I leave it, Dad goes, where are you going?
27:27I'm going out with my friend.
27:28Which friend?
27:29Where are you going?
27:30What seems to be a common thing here is that it's me asking everyone where they're going.
27:34Yeah.
27:34And we can't ask you.
27:35If we ask you, the soon come.
27:38That's not true.
27:39Yes, it is.
27:45I like a thriller, I do.
27:47Looks all action this one.
27:48You'd have done it.
27:49You'd actually do well in prison because someone would take you under their wing as their bitch.
27:53Yeah, so I'd be looked after.
27:54Yeah.
27:55You can't really knock that, can you?
27:57No.
27:57In the episode, we joined a police briefing about taking down a crime boss.
28:02Putting Harrison Dempsey away is the only thing that anyone in this room cares about.
28:06He's got that Megamind situation going on.
28:08I was about to say.
28:09Yeah, that's a big head full of ideas.
28:12And the success of a guilty verdict rests on the testimony of one man.
28:16Who?
28:16Who?
28:16Tibor Stone is the most precious asset we have.
28:20So he's the snitch.
28:21Yeah, huh?
28:22And he's going to glass up his boss.
28:23So we should expect that they will do anything to stop him taking that stand in four days' time.
28:28And I mean anything.
28:30Well, yeah, of course they will, won't they?
28:32He's going to be like a hot potato, isn't he?
28:34Absolutely.
28:34He does look like hot property, doesn't he?
28:36This looks marvellous, doesn't it?
28:38I love this programme already.
28:41Hello, sir.
28:44Warner, Gary, have you seen your transfer from Stratford?
28:47Ah, they transport the prisoners.
28:49Oh, okay.
28:50That's the jobs.
28:50Like to and from court.
28:51Yeah, yeah, yeah.
28:53Got a weird one for you.
28:55The head officer's had a call from the National Crime Unit.
28:57They want us to make an additional pick-up.
28:58Oh, it's him.
28:59It's that guy.
29:00What's his name?
29:01It's an overnight transfer under armed guard.
29:04Oh.
29:05Okay.
29:05As soon as they say armed guard, you've got to start thinking, who the hell is it?
29:10Yeah, yeah.
29:11And what has he done?
29:17Oh, look at this.
29:18This is proper.
29:19This is the safe house in the middle of nowhere.
29:22Also known as the grim house.
29:23I was going to say.
29:24Well, not lively, here it comes.
29:31God, he looks like a right scary bastard, isn't he?
29:33I know.
29:33Sexy, isn't it?
29:39Binoculars, Pedro.
29:40Somebody's watching.
29:41Binoculars and fingerless gloves.
29:43That means serious shit.
29:47Who's there?
29:48That's the assassin then, isn't it?
29:49She's been hired by the mob, I'm guessing.
29:51Yeah.
29:51Now they know he's on the road.
29:53They've got him.
29:54Yeah.
29:57Oh, God, through a tunnel.
29:59You don't want to go through a tunnel.
30:05Oh, shit.
30:06Oh, shit.
30:06Get lost.
30:07This is a set up.
30:08As soon as that happened, I'd say, do a UF, back out.
30:12Yep.
30:15Something's off.
30:16Of course it is, I can tell that from here.
30:18They're like sitting ducks right now.
30:19Do something.
30:23Oh.
30:23Oh.
30:24Oh, it's a drone.
30:25Bloody drone.
30:29Oh.
30:30Ow.
30:31Oh, shit.
30:32Hey.
30:33It's a drone gun.
30:37Oh, get down.
30:40Oh, no.
30:43Oh, my God.
30:46Can a drone really do all of that?
30:48Apparently so.
30:51Open the door.
30:54She can't open the door.
30:55She's injured, you silly cat.
31:00Oh, she is.
31:01She's going to go and open the door.
31:03Oh.
31:03If I was her, just stay where I was, wouldn't you?
31:05If I had to be dead, I would.
31:06Yeah.
31:10Yeah, she cuffed him.
31:11Oh, don't strap yourself to him, you ninny.
31:13Why would you do that?
31:14What are you doing?
31:15So you can't run.
31:16Is she all right?
31:17This is not the time.
31:18Who gives a fuck?
31:19Yeah.
31:19She's saying you can't run.
31:21I'd have to let him piss off, wouldn't you?
31:25Oh, no, no, no.
31:26Oh, shit.
31:27The old petrol's coming out, Jack.
31:30I'm just going to go kaboomski this.
31:36Oh, nice.
31:41That's that woman.
31:42What woman?
31:43The woman with the short hair that was looking through the binoculars.
31:49You need to run faster than that.
31:50I'm telling you, man.
31:51She's coming.
31:54We've got to get off this road.
31:55Oh, how'd you get off of that road?
31:57Oh.
31:57There's a river underneath, so...
31:59Wait.
32:00Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
32:01What are you doing?
32:02Oh, fuck that.
32:03No.
32:04You can't jump in the water.
32:07Oh, here she comes.
32:08Hurry, hurry, hurry.
32:09Quick.
32:10Oh, my God.
32:11Okay.
32:11Just go.
32:12Just go.
32:12Come on.
32:13Come on.
32:14Get your arse over here.
32:15Ready?
32:16Wait.
32:20Oh!
32:20Yeah!
32:21Oh!
32:22I don't know why Amber agreed to jump with him.
32:26Don't think she had much choice, then.
32:27You see, people who are that invested in the job do frighten me a little bit.
32:31You know, I'm going to die because somebody's, you know, trying to get out of prison.
32:36But I'll be opening the back door and go, go on, Tom, off your foot.
32:47In Leeds.
32:47What have you been on this weekend?
32:49Because you've been really quiet.
32:50Well, I was getting over the weekend.
32:52So that, you know, came into it.
32:54But I've been...
32:55Well, I did my meal plan.
32:56How do you stick to that?
32:58I didn't.
32:58I ordered Coco Pops.
33:00Best friends Danielle and Daniella.
33:03That is literally like going to the supermarket, buying all the healthy food, avoiding the
33:07sweet aisle, getting home and getting a takeaway.
33:09Yeah.
33:11However...
33:11I deleted my McDonald's app.
33:13Oh, that's a bold move.
33:14Yeah.
33:15After I went to the drive-thru and used all my points on a double cheeseburger and an apple pie.
33:23Your diets are my favourite.
33:26If anybody says to me, what type of diet do you want, I'd be like, Danielle is.
33:31On Friday night, Channel 4's starry-eyed singles were flirting up a storm again.
33:36Are you dating anyone, Sean?
33:38No.
33:39Are you seeing anyone?
33:40No.
33:40Are you looking up with anyone?
33:42No.
33:42Are you talking to anyone?
33:43No.
33:44You wouldn't tell us if you was, would you?
33:45No.
33:46It's your wedding anniversary soon, actually.
33:4922nd of May.
33:52Isn't that Evie's birthday?
33:53No.
33:54It is his 27th of May.
33:56Right.
33:57Well, then he had a couple of cards, then.
34:03I think I might have been sober for my first date with Josh.
34:06Really?
34:06I'm surprised he stuck around.
34:08I'm boring when I'm sober.
34:09No.
34:09You had 12 Long Island iced teas, didn't you?
34:11That was when we got together again.
34:13This is 26-year-old electrician, Jordan, and his mum, Kelly.
34:18What?
34:19No.
34:20He brought his mum along?
34:21No.
34:21I'd walk out of the restaurant.
34:22Mam and son on a date?
34:24That's disgusting.
34:25No.
34:25They're not dating each other.
34:27Nice to see you.
34:28Nice to meet you.
34:30So, what's happening here?
34:31Even Fred's freaked out.
34:33Is it father and daughter?
34:35Fred trying to turn it off.
34:36You two sisters?
34:38First time doing this.
34:40Why?
34:40It's just a nice thing to do, isn't it?
34:42It is?
34:43Yeah.
34:43No.
34:44Tell me, what do you do for anything?
34:46I'm a student at the moment in Bristol.
34:48I'm studying forensic science.
34:49Is that Jordan's date?
34:51Don't tell me she's brought a fucking dad.
34:53Oh, she's lovely.
34:53Has she brought a dad?
34:54Are you ready for your date?
34:55Yes, I am.
34:56I am, I am.
34:57Is he here?
34:58Yes, so is your mother-in-law.
35:01Hi.
35:01Hiya.
35:02Hi.
35:03Amy, nice to meet you.
35:04Jordan.
35:04Nice to meet you, Jordan.
35:05How are you?
35:06Yeah, I'm so good.
35:07How are you?
35:07Good.
35:08Oh, my God.
35:09Oh, my God.
35:09This is so awkward.
35:10Already.
35:12Who's this lady?
35:13She has no idea.
35:14No.
35:14Introduce your mum.
35:15Introduce your mum.
35:16What's the dynamic here?
35:17Sorry.
35:18This is my mum.
35:19I'm on a date as well.
35:22There we go.
35:22Should have done that in the first place, Jordan.
35:26Look, look, look.
35:26There you go.
35:26It's broken the ice now.
35:27That's better.
35:29Being he's the right man for the job is Carpenter John.
35:33Ooh!
35:35Carpenter John.
35:35I like the look of John.
35:36Ooh!
35:37John's a fitting.
35:39I'm John.
35:39Hi, John.
35:40I'm Kelly.
35:41Nice to meet you.
35:42And you.
35:42Well, they're both checking each other out there.
35:44Did you see that?
35:45These actually make an arse couple.
35:47You've got big arms.
35:48Yes.
35:48Must be arms.
35:50Yeah, you are.
35:50Oh, my God!
35:51That's a compliment, Chef.
35:53What?
35:53Kelly's got bigger arms than John.
35:54Good for the full bingo carpenter.
35:56She's got big thighs and all.
35:57Yeah.
35:58Thunder thighs.
35:59Lovely.
35:59You've got a fat ass, haven't you?
36:01That's nice.
36:02Thank you very much.
36:02Do you like girls with muscles?
36:03Yeah.
36:04Oh, that's all right, then.
36:05Oh, she seems quite into it.
36:06She's enjoyed it.
36:07Started showing off the guns.
36:09What do you do?
36:09I'm a carpenter.
36:11Okay.
36:11I could do my hands.
36:12So you like to play with tools as well?
36:13I've got tools.
36:14Oh, I like...
36:15That was flirty.
36:17What about you?
36:18I'm a dominatrix.
36:20Ha!
36:22Dominatrix?
36:22Is that not an acrobat?
36:24I had a boyfriend once who liked me to spank him with a frying pan.
36:26Oh, for heaven's sake.
36:27I do pegging.
36:31Spanking.
36:32Excuse me?
36:32What's pegging?
36:34It's...
36:35Google it.
36:36From what I believe it is, it will involve some type of instrument and a buttocks.
36:44Okay.
36:45All right.
36:45Moving on.
36:45Wait, wait, wait, wait.
36:48The amount of money that I get paid per hour is quadruple what...
36:53what I was earning in the fitness industry.
36:55To be fair, Lee, she's honest.
36:58Yeah, she's honest.
36:58Because a lot of people wouldn't come out and say this on a first date.
37:01It's relieved a lot of the anxiety and pressure that comes with being a single parent.
37:06So if she were on minimum wage, say, for the fitness industry, she's on nearly 50 quid an hour.
37:11Peggy.
37:11Fucking hell.
37:13Might have to have a little career change myself.
37:15Like, I'm okay with whatever you think.
37:18It's fine.
37:19You're supporting your family.
37:20Sorry.
37:21Why not?
37:22But still, even if he doesn't judge her harshly, he probably won't want to date her.
37:28He'd be frightened of being manacled or pegged.
37:31So then, guys, would you like to see one another again?
37:35I'll go first, if that's all right.
37:36He's going to say yes.
37:37If he's going first, he's going to say yes.
37:38Come on, John.
37:39I totally respect what you do and everything.
37:41I think you're gorgeous.
37:41I would definitely say yes.
37:43Oh, he didn't mince his words either, did he?
37:44He was like bam, bam, bam, bam, bam.
37:46Absolutely.
37:47I like that.
37:48Isn't that sweet, Natty?
37:50Isn't it sweet?
37:52Yeah, I'd like to go on another date again and see.
37:56Yeah, yeah.
37:56Just see where it went.
37:56Yeah.
37:56It's a double yes.
37:58Oh!
37:58Oh!
37:59We were totally wrong.
38:00We've done nothing.
38:01Oh!
38:02That's off to it.
38:03You know, you do what you need to do to provide for your family.
38:06You know, I'd be a dominatrix if I needed to be.
38:09Yeah, you'd peg someone if the kids needed feeding.
38:12Fucking absolutely.
38:16You'd be out bagging with the rest of them.
38:18They call me Peggy Mitchell.
38:23In Wiltshire.
38:24These steaks were advertised.
38:26Ask at the butcher's counter for their steaks, Mary.
38:29Half price.
38:30Why do you have to bring steaks out in this room?
38:33Giles and his wife, Mary.
38:35Okay, shall I put my initial on it?
38:38Absolutely not.
38:38That's the daddy's steak.
38:39That's the biggest one.
38:41That's the mummy steak, the second biggest one.
38:43And the daughter will have the smallest steak, Mary.
38:47Yeah, it's time you grew up, Charles.
38:49Yeah, I'm just right.
38:50I'm going to write my initials.
38:51Oh, for God's sake, don't.
38:53My initials on my steak.
38:55Nobody will notice even if you do write them on.
38:57G, I'm going to write it in the fat, Mary.
39:00Just so there's no quibble.
39:04It's a no-quibble guarantee that I get my own steak.
39:08Do you want me to write M on yours?
39:10Absolutely not.
39:11M.
39:12Stop it!
39:14On Monday, it was manoeuvres at number 10 that were making the headlines on the BBC.
39:19It's interesting times, Tracer.
39:21That's an understatement.
39:23Country's upside down and back to front and turned inside out.
39:26That's true.
39:27I need some popcorn for this.
39:29Let's see the end of an era.
39:32What are you talking about?
39:34Starmer.
39:35Oh.
39:35The Prime Minister has insisted he will not walk away despite the disastrous selection results
39:40last week.
39:41He's not going in there, kicking and screaming.
39:43He's hanging on tooth and nail.
39:44But more than 50 Labour MPs have now called for him to go or to set a date to leave.
39:49I give him an end of the week.
39:51Imagine being at work and being told to quit by everybody and going, no.
39:57Yeah.
39:57You need to quit.
39:58Get out.
39:59Sakia says he's proved his doubters wrong in the past and will do so again.
40:03He's a stubborn bugger, isn't he?
40:05Well, you can't just have somebody that's going to roll over, can you?
40:09And I suppose, if anything, it's showing he's got integrity.
40:12Exactly.
40:12That's what I think.
40:14In a crucial speech this morning, he admitted his government had made mistakes but said
40:18he'd got the big political choices right.
40:20Which big political choices did he get right?
40:23Why not joining the Americans?
40:24Yeah, give him that.
40:26Give him that, actually.
40:26In that fight against Iran.
40:28I mean, the one thing is, I would say, is there's a humility to him that I quite like.
40:32He does at least say that people are, I get it, I get it.
40:36And what are the actual options?
40:38I get it.
40:39You've been saying that for years, Keir.
40:41You don't get it, otherwise you would have got it long ago, mate.
40:44I feel it.
40:46And I take responsibility.
40:48It's just a load of bull, isn't it?
40:49It's all words.
40:50That's the annoying thing for me.
40:52I know I have my doubters.
40:54Doubters?
40:55It's not doubters.
40:56Doubters.
40:56We're not doubting you.
40:58We're certain.
40:59We're certain that you're rubbish.
41:00I won't be able to handle that pressure.
41:02What Keir Starmer's under, I'd have thrown in a towel.
41:05I'd quit jobs for much less.
41:07You have for much, much less.
41:08And I know I need to prove them wrong.
41:10And I will.
41:11No, you won't be able to.
41:13Because we already know you've cocked up.
41:16It's like an ex begging into it.
41:18I just want one more chance.
41:19Just one more.
41:20I'll do anything.
41:21I'll change.
41:22So Keir Starmer's back against the wall, he was noticeably more angry, more passionate
41:28than we often see him.
41:29The blazer's off.
41:30He's got no tie on either.
41:32The blazer's off.
41:33The button's under and he's ready to box the nation.
41:35Yeah.
41:36I am their Prime Minister and this is their government.
41:40A little bit of emotion there.
41:42Yeah.
41:42A good bit of emotion.
41:43Slightly arousing.
41:44Not arousing.
41:45Rousing.
41:47Really, darling?
41:48It was slightly rousing.
41:49Not arousing.
41:51The conversations about the Prime Minister's possible successors are still feverish.
41:55There's the mayor of Greater Manchester, Andy Burnham.
41:58Andy Burnham can't because he's not an MP.
42:00He's doing an alright job as a mayor.
42:01We'd lose that for him to be the Prime Minister.
42:03So, leaving Manchester is alright for a minute, innit?
42:05Then there's the former Deputy Prime Minister, Angela Rayner.
42:08No, we're not having her.
42:09The sea vultures circling round there praying there.
42:12Yeah.
42:13Angela Rayner and Andy Burnham.
42:15He's thinking I'll put the nose out of my mark when I get home.
42:19Then there is the Health Secretary, Wes Streeting, whose supporters would prefer things to
42:23move quickly before Andy Burnham can find himself a seat.
42:27Well, Andy Burnham has a proven record of competence, you see, with Manchester, so it
42:34would be good.
42:34But also, Wes has a very good sense of humour and he's not that incompetent.
42:41And all afternoon here, one after another, yet more Labour MPs saying the Prime Minister
42:49has to go.
42:50Jesus, they're all jumping on the bandwagon now, aren't they?
42:52I just think all these lot that think that Keir Starmer's going to throw his towel
42:56are pissing in wind.
42:58Because he ain't going to go.
42:59He's not going down without a fight.
43:01No, he ain't, is he?
43:02He was fighting for his life out there today.
43:04Do you remember that poster that was like in the 90s, it was everywhere, it was just
43:07like, hang in there and a cat on a washing line?
43:10Yeah.
43:11How long can he cling on for?
43:12I feel like that's Keir Starmer right now.
43:14Do you know who I think could be a good new Prime Minister?
43:17You know, and I know I'm a little bit biased when I say this, but Nitro from Gladiators,
43:22because he's tough and he's strong to put up with any shit off anybody.
43:26Yeah, but he probably...
43:27But he's also got it all up here, he's got it all sussed out.
43:29He probably doesn't know anything about economics.
43:32You don't need to, do you?
43:33These have proved that.
43:40The US has finally said I do to the marital maelstrom of maths on E4,
43:48starting Monday at 8 with friends and family grilling on overdrive.
43:51Channel 4 is here for major new drama, with Keeley Horse and Papa Isidu craving the tender
43:56and the taboo.
43:57Falling begins Tuesday night at 9.
43:59More Faithful flirtings up next in Brand New First Dates.
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