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00:16People sometimes ask me,
00:18do sportsmen make good politicians?
00:22I say yes.
00:24If you like your politicians brave, disciplined,
00:27strong in body, mentally agile,
00:30someone who knows how to truly commit,
00:32working night and day to make your life better.
00:35Someone who knows they're playing for the winning side,
00:38who was born to win and refuses to lose.
00:42So, you forgot?
00:44Not for a second.
00:45Half term break, you have until Wednesday.
00:46I've been looking for a time.
00:47Stop it!
00:48Your poker face is terrible.
00:49More of a bridge man, I do like a foursome.
00:52Daddy!
00:54Hello, sweetheart!
00:58Hi, Marcus.
01:01Hi, Dash.
01:01The children's bags, the clothes are all labeled.
01:03There's a list in there if you could check them all off when they come back.
01:06Tabitha came home without a single sock last time.
01:11Hello.
01:17Hi.
01:18I'm Mrs. Gordon, the children's mother.
01:19Uh, yeah.
01:21Uh...
01:21Helen, this is Cameron.
01:22I've heard so much about you.
01:25Philadelphia, right?
01:26Yes, ma'am.
01:27Well, New York by way of Philly.
01:28You?
01:29Florida.
01:30Hmm.
01:31And hi.
01:32You must be Tabitha.
01:34Obviously.
01:35Who are you?
01:38Um, I'm your, uh, your father's girlfriend.
01:41You bloody not!
01:43Ugh!
01:48Okay, I'm gonna leave you to deal with that.
01:50I'm late from my plane.
01:52My husband is waiting.
01:53Where are you going?
01:54Venice.
01:54Oh, baby.
01:56We should go to Venice.
01:57Wasted on Rupert, I'm afraid.
01:59Okay, kiss the children for me.
02:00I'll see them.
02:01Wednesday.
02:02Wednesday.
02:02Right.
02:03I'm sorry.
02:04I didn't know that they didn't know about me.
02:06Enjoy Venice!
02:08Don't fall in.
02:18Tabitha!
02:19Come and meet Cameron properly.
02:27Hmm.
02:27Told you you should order the beef.
02:29Luigi's is legendary.
02:30You know, I'm not really enjoying red meat at the moment.
02:32Ah!
02:33Monica couldn't eat eggs for nine months.
02:34Couldn't see them in the pantry without feeling nauseous.
02:40So, explain to me how it's mine.
02:44Do you remember the day I joined Carinium?
02:46Celebration dinner at the Bear in Bisley.
02:48Two courses.
02:49Me for pudding.
02:50Forgive me, I'm not the only suspect.
02:53James and I didn't start until Miss Carinium.
02:54You knew of a husband?
02:55No.
02:56Paul lost his libido the same time as his cabinet seat.
02:58Not something, um, you'd ever have trouble with, I imagine.
03:04You're feeling a bit pushed out since BT came on board at Carinium, am I right?
03:08You're also aware that Cameron's out.
03:10You're wondering if a little power move like this
03:14might move you into the position she vacated.
03:16Queen of Carinium.
03:18Sad to say, Sarah, we're not inviting applications at present.
03:21Nor are we looking for an illegitimate heir to the throne.
03:25Get rid of it.
03:26I know a very good chap in Harley Street had this sorted out in no time.
03:30A termination.
03:32Not a nice word.
03:34Better to think of it as a cleansing of your soul.
03:38Be a shame if this were to hang over your blossoming career.
03:42It would hang over you too, though, wouldn't it?
03:46And Monica.
03:47Ooh.
03:53Eminently deniable.
03:56Unless that's the prog pops out with a cigar in its mouth,
03:58you'd have a way to prove it's mine.
04:00Here you go.
04:01Mmm.
04:04Bon appetit.
04:06Mmm.
04:07God, it's good.
04:08Mmm.
04:11Try the beef.
04:19Come on.
04:26Don't try to play chess with me, Sarah.
04:28You're not clever enough.
04:29We both want rid of this problem,
04:31so you sort it out as quick as you possibly can.
04:33Good girl.
04:41Rupert's all over bloody everything.
04:43They've shown his party political broadcast five times this week.
04:46He's been on Breakfast Time and TV AM.
04:47Both channels.
04:48Both channels.
04:51Meanwhile, I can't even get invited on Cotswold Roundup,
04:54a programme presented by my own wife.
04:56Thank you, darling.
04:58So, listen.
04:59I've made some calls,
05:00and we're going to have a dinner party on Tuesday.
05:02See if we can't turn some local goodwill into actual television coverage.
05:06Show Tony Battingham,
05:07we mean business.
05:09Dinner party here?
05:12Do you know,
05:14Winifred always used to throw me dinner parties in the run-up to an election,
05:19and I never had to suggest it myself.
05:22Oh!
05:23Good for Winifred.
05:26Yes.
05:28Perhaps you should start thinking about what to cook.
06:02You're too good to those birds.
06:04I like how busy they are.
06:06I work so hard at surviving.
06:08Morning!
06:09Aubergine's.
06:10From the market, as requested.
06:12Aubergine's in the Cotswold.
06:13I was in London last night.
06:15I've got to make six, um...
06:17What's that again?
06:18Moussaka.
06:19Moussaka for the Women's Institute AGM.
06:21And a spare one for your lunch.
06:22Can't wait.
06:24Do I have a hand?
06:24I'm a decent sous chef.
06:26Okay.
06:27Good morning, all.
06:28Good morning.
06:31Boss lady's here.
06:37Morning.
06:38You must be Marcus.
06:40Hello.
06:41Which makes you Tabitha.
06:43And you're Zeklin O'Hara from the telly.
06:44Declan O'Telly, that's right.
06:46This is all looking great.
06:48It is, but Charles called me this morning.
06:51Turns out Carinium are also developing a series of Shakespeare plays for the school's market.
06:55Do you know about this?
06:56It's another thing from our application document, isn't it?
07:22It's another thing.
07:22All right, then.
07:23Where do you want this, Declan?
07:26Over here.
07:27There you go.
07:28Oh, fuck.
07:28I'm sweating carbs here.
07:30Who is this person?
07:30Oh.
07:33Oh.
07:33Good morning, Venture Television.
07:34Shelley speaking.
07:35Well, we said we needed a secretary.
07:36She prefers executive assistant.
07:38Declan.
07:39BBC for you.
07:47Declan O'Hara.
07:49Hello, Jeremy.
07:51Hi, Baz.
07:52Oh, hello, Munchkin.
07:54Oh, how about you?
07:55Is there any food?
07:56Cameron made breakfast, but it was disgusting.
07:59Good man.
08:00Which is your desk?
08:01Why?
08:01The only character in my life.
08:03I want to know everything about you.
08:05That's fantastic.
08:05We'll put you over here, Cameron.
08:06This is the driving seat.
08:08Why don't you go into the kitchen and find Taggy?
08:10Yeah.
08:10She'll get you a snack.
08:11Go on.
08:12I scrabbled some eggs.
08:14How was that disgusting?
08:15Will do, Jeremy.
08:17So, our Yates documentary is now officially in development.
08:22Oh, come on.
08:25I love a bit of Yates.
08:26Oh, honey, so recently you were pronouncing it Yates.
08:28So, what happens now?
08:29Take a trip over to Ireland.
08:31Scout out some locations.
08:32We don't need to shoot in Ireland.
08:33We've got landscape coming out of our ears in Rutshire.
08:36With all due respect, Cameron.
08:37Says the man about to say something disrespectful.
08:41Fucking Rutshire looks nothing like Ireland
08:43and it's ignorant to even suggest that we would ever...
08:45We should be trying to film wherever's least expensive.
08:47I don't want the maths club running the drama group, alright?
08:50Oh, hello, children.
08:52There's nobody in the kitchen.
08:55OK, take a seat and we'll find you some cookies or something.
08:59Huh, Shelley?
09:01You don't want the math club running the drama group.
09:03I don't want the drama group being irresponsible
09:05with Venturer's program budget.
09:11Oh, my God.
09:12There you go.
09:13You little shit.
09:15Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
09:15Come on.
09:16The timing was good.
09:18Cameron's articated!
09:19Ew, I can smell it!
09:20Thank you, darling.
09:21I'm just gonna speak to her.
09:30Hey, uh...
09:32Why don't you take her with you?
09:34Show the landscape, make her fall in love with the place.
09:38You want me to take Cameron to Ireland?
09:41Why am I suspicious?
09:44I can really use a few days alone with the kids.
09:48Try and talk to them about this new...
09:51relationship.
09:53Help me out here?
09:57Yeah.
09:58Yeah.
10:02Taggy!
10:04Taggy, I've got your...
10:09Dish.
10:12Hello.
10:14Freddie.
10:17You been OK?
10:22Not great.
10:25No, me neither.
10:27No bloody coffees!
10:29So...
10:30Hello, Lizzy.
10:31Sorry, snatching a moment.
10:32Didn't mean to interrupt.
10:33Oh, no, don't worry.
10:34I don't know why Muggins here has been left to make the coffee
10:36while Shelley's sat on her arse with her tin of family circle.
10:39I always prefer to sit dinner biscuits.
10:41Same.
10:45How many times have you shagged now?
10:48Once.
10:49And never again.
10:51Surely not.
10:52I'd imagine Mr Jones is a very considerate lover.
10:55I'm married.
10:55Yes, to James Verica.
10:58We can't all just do what we want, Rupert.
11:00The rules are there to stop people getting hurt.
11:02That's why most of us try to stick to them.
11:04I came to give this back to Taggy.
11:07We were all quite surprised when you moved Cameron into Pensacom Court.
11:11Well, I hope it's working out.
11:23Beaver!
11:25Fetch!
11:25I'll only be a few days in Ireland.
11:28Honestly, how is he my son with an underarm like that?
11:33You won't do anything silly, will you, if Tony comes prowling around?
11:35He's in with a show jumping trophy.
11:39If he had anything on us, he'd have used it by now.
11:41Look, I said I would be here to look after you.
11:44And I will.
11:46I think you like that you rescued me.
11:48What happens when I don't need taken care of anymore?
11:49Yeah, I might have rescued you the first time, but the second time you rescued yourself.
11:53And I like that very much.
11:56Well, I guess Tabitha's not coming to say goodbye.
11:59Look, I know she's been a little toad.
12:02I've never had a woman here at the same time as the children.
12:05Whatever else I've done, I've stuck to that.
12:06So, of course, she's rattled by meeting you.
12:08It's your own bloody fault for making me adore you enough to break the rules.
12:13You know what? I'm gonna miss you.
12:21And I'll miss you too, Blue.
12:23Bye, Marcus.
12:24Bye.
12:31Do you think she'll come back?
12:35Why wouldn't she?
12:56Are you lost?
12:57Oh.
12:59Sorry you're upset.
13:01I'm tagging.
13:02I live in the house down there.
13:05I like your purple skirt.
13:07I always wanted one, but my knees are too lovely.
13:11Hey, this is Gertrude.
13:13She's a good listener.
13:13I tell her all my problems.
13:15Her advice isn't very good, though.
13:16She mainly just whiffs and girls.
13:21You think you can tell her what's wrong?
13:23Daddy doesn't love me any more.
13:27There you are.
13:32Darling, what did I tell you about running away?
13:34This is Taggy, Daddy.
13:35She lives down there.
13:37Yeah, we've...
13:39We've met.
13:40Can you come to tea, Daddy?
13:41Please, please?
13:42Oh, um...
13:45Yeah, come and have some tea, why not?
13:48Um, I've got to get home, but another day, okay?
13:53Come on, pup.
13:56Okay, home time.
13:59I don't think she likes you, Daddy.
14:08I don't think she likes you, Daddy.
14:10Good morning, Rudshire.
14:11What a beautiful, sunny morning it is, too.
14:13With the general election only days away, this morning we'll be asking if Rudshire will stay as conservative as ever,
14:20or if local MPs Wubert Campbell Black for Chalford & Bisley and Paul Stratton for Conchester should be watching their
14:26backs for a potential liberal landslide.
14:35And here is the kitchen, where you'll be making all the magic happen.
14:40Cooker, fridge here, pantry, a walk-in cupboard there, that's where Paul keeps all the wine and whatnot.
14:45Um, you're happy with the recipe?
14:46It's just I know that reading's a struggle for you, isn't it, with your dyslexia?
14:51Oh, I'm fine, I've got everything.
14:55For writing it out so big.
14:56Now, I know beef, it's a bit much, isn't it, for a summer dinner party, but, well, it's his favourite.
15:01My husband's favourite, I mean.
15:03And with the election and the coolings of the TV coverage you can get.
15:06Oh, of course.
15:07And you don't mind staying in the kitchen tonight, do you?
15:09It's just, it's a bit awkward, you being Ventra.
15:12Oh, Daddy doesn't know, but he can't really complain we need the money.
15:15Well, just don't go poisoning all of Carinium in my dining room.
15:20Seriously though, you really mustn't let anyone see you.
15:23Oh, okay.
15:24I've rather given the impression that I'm doing the cooking tonight, so I really need everything to be perfect.
15:29Right.
15:32Okay, well, I'm gonna go to the hairdressers.
15:34Um, don't answer the door, but if somebody calls, just pretend to be the daily, okay?
15:39Oh, sure. Um, what if anyone sees me in the kitchen tonight?
15:42Shhh.
15:47Stuck into the pantry.
15:53This afternoon, the MP for Chalford and Bisley was in Stroud with his children to open the newest branch of
15:58Waitrose,
15:59armed with a very large pair of scissors.
16:00And three, two, one!
16:03Yay!
16:04Well done, kids.
16:05No, delighted to drop in on our walk around Stroud.
16:07Waitrose is absolutely the best place to pick up a nice hunk of Codswell bloom.
16:11In Charleston, Margaret Baldwin's Liberal Party cabinet's campaign trail continues...
16:16No, no, no, no, no, no!
16:18Oh, God, no, you idiot!
16:24Um...
16:25Okay...
16:26Okay...
16:27Oh!
16:28Oh!
16:29Oh!
16:33Uh...
16:34Uh...
16:34Uh...
16:35Uh...
16:35Uh...
16:35Uh...
16:35Uh...
16:35Uh...
16:35Uh...
16:35Uh...
16:35Hello, Mrs. Stratton Bishop and thank you very much.
16:38That's the worst ruchery accent I've ever heard, Sarah, is Rupert.
16:42It's...
16:43It's not Sarah.
16:44Is that Taggy?
16:46Sarah said to pretend to be a daily.
16:48Um, uh...
16:49I'm actually after Paul.
16:50Um...
16:51Is he there?
16:51It's party business.
16:53Shit!
16:54Oh.
16:56Darling, what is it?
16:58I'm making Mrs. Stratton's favourite beef from the white elephant in Payne's Wick,
17:01only I've just dropped all the salt on it and now it's ruined!
17:04Oh, Angel...
17:05Well, can you make it again?
17:06No, it's too late!
17:07The butcher shuts at four!
17:08Oh, God!
17:08It ruined everything!
17:11All right, leave it with me.
17:12Uh, you get on with the starter and I'll be there in an hour.
17:14No, you don't have to do that.
17:18But there's an awful lot to do!
17:19Sorry, Gerald.
17:20I'm rescuing a constituent.
17:22Give me back my money!
17:23Can't have it!
17:24It's free parking, not three pounds!
17:26Oh!
17:26Oh!
17:27Oh!
17:30Okay!
17:31Oh!
17:35Oh!
17:40Oh!
17:42From the mountain top
17:44Burning like a silver flame
17:47For some in the beauty and love
17:50The Venus doesn't make
17:54She's got it
17:56Yeah baby she's got it
18:02I'm your Venus
18:04I'm your fire
18:05Your fire
18:12Are you nearly done?
18:13They're sitting down
18:14Well some of them
18:15Nearly nearly
18:17Someone's coming
18:23Gorgeous canapes Sarah
18:24Thanks so much
18:26I love those
18:28Taggy O'Hara makes them
18:29Yes
18:31I asked for the recipe
18:33What are you cooking us?
18:36I'm cooking Luigi's famous beef dobe
18:38I had to almost sleep with him to get the recipe
18:40But that's Tony's favourite
18:42I can't wait to tell him
18:43Can I do anything?
18:45Yes
18:45Will you tell the men to bloody well sit down?
18:47God it's like herding cats isn't it?
18:49Where's your glass Lizzie?
18:51Put it down again
18:56Sarah
18:57Sorry did I make you jump?
18:59I'm so sorry for bringing your nemesis
19:01Mother's not well tonight
19:02BT overheard me on the phone
19:04And insisted she come along with me instead
19:06I couldn't stop her
19:07Don't worry
19:08I put an extra James
19:09Oh actually you
19:12Can take this in for me
19:14I need no second bidding
19:18Now then
19:18Can I take these?
19:24Are these ready to go?
19:25Oh I'm not really ready
19:26Well they look ready
19:26Actually yes
19:27They're ready
19:28Sorry
19:30And just remind me again
19:31What are these?
19:32It's trout mousse
19:33With a cucumber salad
19:34And Melba toast
19:35And did it take me long to make it?
19:36Not really because we're very good at cooking
19:44Beef daub for eight
19:45Direct from Luigi at the white elephant
19:47Oh my goodness
19:48You're a lifesaver
19:49Thank you
19:49Oh look it's the same dish
19:51Do you mind
19:55Does your father know you're cooking for the enemy?
19:58This is the strangest job I have
19:59Look it's Sarah
20:00Quick
20:02Really?
20:03You
20:05I knew Sarah wasn't cooking
20:07Oh my god please don't say anything
20:08I've been to much trouble
20:09Oh word
20:10I said I was going to the loo
20:11Don't worry about the loo
20:12Why don't you use the upstairs one?
20:13Well I don't use the loo
20:14That's okay
20:14Oh I don't
20:15Okay
20:18What are the herbs on top?
20:19Monica's asking
20:20Oh um
20:20Dill
20:21Dill?
20:22Um
20:22Paul wants horse radish
20:24Oh Sarah
20:24No no not in there
20:25What the hell are you doing here?
20:29I just popped round to see Taggy
20:32Sarah
20:32Wait
20:36I have to speak to you
20:37I'm hosting a dinner party James
20:39It can't wait
20:39I'm sure it can
20:40I am going crackers
20:41Apparently
20:42You are pregnant
20:45Why did you hear that?
20:46Deidre told me at work
20:47Is it true?
20:48Is it mine?
20:49No
20:49I'm getting rid of it alright
20:51Just please
20:52Don't say anything
20:54Sarah
20:55Sarah
20:55You're the king
20:56I'm getting it
20:58I'm fine
21:03Everything alright darling?
21:04Yes
21:04Why?
21:05I don't know
21:05See you a bit
21:06Well so do you
21:08This is terribly important
21:09I know
21:10Oh my insides are not right
21:11At all
21:12It's probably just nerves
21:14Go upstairs
21:15Let's make some of that
21:15Pepto-Bismol
21:16It's alright
21:17Oh
21:18Oh
21:21Someone was in the other
21:22Lou so I went upstairs
21:23No problem
21:24Very good
21:25Go sit down
21:26Have a drink
21:27Another drink
21:39Get back in there
21:39This is your god
21:40God Sarah
21:41I can't tell you the relief
21:47It's not mine
21:48Is it?
21:48Fuck off
21:49Get me the horseradish
21:50Middle shelf
21:50What does a girl have to do
21:59To get a proper drink
22:00Around here
22:01Murder a scotch
22:03Are we alone?
22:04Looks like it
22:05Our plan is coming together
22:07Deliciously
22:08I genuinely think
22:10It might lose a particular
22:11Unlovely person
22:12Their particularly
22:12Lovely job
22:13Beautiful music to my ears
22:15You just need to keep
22:16A certain person
22:17Out of my way
22:21Oh
22:22Hello you two
22:24Talking shop again are we?
22:25We really are the most
22:26Attentive host
22:27Every time I turn around
22:28There you are
22:29Actually I was just
22:30Popping in for this
22:30Cheeky little burgundy
22:32To go with the beef
22:33What do you say Tony
22:33Shall we rip the liquors off?
22:35Oh god
22:35Absolutely
22:36Excuse me
22:36I mustn't be monocally
22:38Oh did I mention
22:39What a wonderful job
22:40You're doing on the election campaigns
22:41Sarah has learnt
22:42So much from you
22:43Well she had a great deal
22:44To learn
22:46Indeed
22:46Very good
22:52Right
22:53This
22:54Is my very important
22:55Dinner party
22:56Alright so I have to
22:57Go back in there
22:57Because people are going to
22:58Start asking where I am
22:59Please
23:00Get the main course ready
23:01And try not to do
23:02Anything more
23:02To fuck up my night
23:03Fine
23:04Oh jesus
23:05Okay
23:07What can I do?
23:08Can you take
23:08This one with you?
23:12Hide the evidence
23:13Of course
23:13And this is definitely
23:15The salty one
23:15Yes
23:15Thank you so much
23:16For tonight
23:18Wish I could pay you back
23:20I mean
23:21Return the favour
23:25Well actually
23:26There is
23:27One thing
23:28You could help me with
23:29Oh yeah?
23:30One to have escaped from cold
23:31And this is just you
23:32This is just you
23:33Thank you
23:35About what?
23:36The entire purpose of this evening
23:37Getting my face
23:38On corinium television
23:39No
23:40But he can't last you're still in here can he?
23:43Do me a favour
23:44Crack open another bottle of red
23:45This is really ploughing through it
23:47Yeah roger
23:47Yeah roger
23:47Boilker
23:50All aboard
23:58Oh god she took it
24:00What do we do?
24:00Oh god
24:01You'll have to go in there
24:02I can't go in there
24:03I really can't go in there
24:04Roger
24:05It's the wrong beef
24:07What?
24:08You'll regret it if you argue
24:09Darling just run and get the beef
24:20What the hell is going on?
24:22Everyone in there thinks I'm Batty
24:23Just say you forgot to garnish it
24:25Sarah!
24:26What?
24:27Oh my god
24:30Is everything alright Tom?
24:33Sarah
24:34What is the daughter of Tony Battyham's
24:36Greatest enemy doing in our kitchen?
24:38Oh please god don't tell me she cooked the dinner
24:42It's no good
24:44It's no good
24:45I'm never going to be able to cook like Winifred
24:47Darling I just wanted your night to be perfect
24:49So I got Taggy to come and help me
24:51I've been in the pantry
24:52Sarah's done most of it
24:54You want to find out poorly
24:55Come on nobody's seen her
24:58As long as there's absolutely no chance
25:00Of Tony finding out
25:01Absolutely none
25:04Okay darling why don't you
25:05Go back in there and
25:06Top up everyone's wine
25:08Could have been worse you know
25:09Could have been Rupert Campbell's fuckface in this kitchen
25:17I'm so sorry but the Royal Luigi cooked this one
25:19It's really good
25:22Yes so I hear
25:24Thank you
25:25Good luck in there
25:27Come on go
25:27Help
25:29Hey what the hell are you playing here
25:31What
25:31It's going around the whole party
25:32Apparently you've got a secret
25:33If I hear so much as a whisper
25:35I haven't told anyone
25:36I can't help it if you have
25:37Sarah
25:39Get in
25:40Get in
25:42Dolly
25:43I can't seem to get Tony on his own
25:45And now I'm chatting up
25:46BT Johnson
25:47Only I may have done too much
25:48I made her think that I'm up for a clinch in the cloak
25:50Oh no I'm still looking for this
25:52Oh god
25:53Hide me hide me hide me
25:59Wine pantry aren't we posh
26:06Tony
26:07Paul
26:10So listen while I've got you
26:11I wonder if you might see fit to get me on the Cosworth Roundup sofa this week
26:16My final push before the election you know
26:19Win it for the blues
26:21No yes no
26:23I'm not sure why I do that
26:25I'm sure I didn't make that happen
26:26Lovely
26:27Thank you
26:28Thank you so much
26:29Um
26:30After you
26:35Ah
26:35Paul
26:36There you are
26:38And you've found Tony
26:39Good
26:39Good
26:40Um darling
26:42BT wants a scotch
26:43So would you take that in for me
26:44My joiner in one actually
26:46Tony
26:50I'm seeing the Harley Street Doctor next week
26:52Right
26:52So what's all this about secrets
26:57i didn't cook this right it's not about the baby listen to me you get yourself
27:03unpregnated as quickly as possible or no more dinner parties
27:05huh no more uncensored you got it you are off the show till you sort yourself out
27:38don't don't
27:40Be stopped.
27:45Ha!
27:47Sorry about that, everybody.
27:48That's beef dough.
27:56Oh, I do love a food card.
27:58But, Taggy O'Hara cooked the whole thing
28:01and Sarah had her hiding in the kitchen all night.
28:03No, you're joking!
28:05Oh, there's Gerald!
28:06Don't forget to vote tomorrow.
28:08Rupert Campbell Black.
28:09Derry!
28:10Hello.
28:11Hello.
28:12Beautiful day, Forrest.
28:14Oh, Georgie, girl, I want you a beauty.
28:18Does Tony know you're fraternising with the enemy, Monica?
28:21Oh, we've all known each other far too long for any of that silliness.
28:24You, me and Hermione were spiking the punch at the Junior Hunt board
28:27before I never even knew what a television franchise was.
28:31Murphy, your godmother was quite the firecracker, you know.
28:34Derry, darling, do you want some help?
28:37Mummy, will you take David back?
28:38Of course!
28:39Can you have fun?
28:40Here we go.
28:41Come on, David.
28:42Yes, give me some of those.
28:43Lovely to see her so happy.
28:44Do you know, I really never thought she'd find anyone.
28:47Rupert Campbell Black?
28:49Quite something, isn't she your muffy?
28:51She's a trooper.
28:53Must say there's something of a surprise, Polo.
28:56Yes, sorry.
28:58Um, you were away when it all happened.
29:00I mean, I didn't know you liked, um...
29:05Dogs and horses?
29:07Yes, exactly.
29:08Well, you know what it's like when you find you're a person.
29:11Suddenly everything about you makes sense.
29:16So you have to screw the corners down really tight.
29:18No.
29:20No.
29:22Then you have to leave it for several weeks.
29:24Weeks?
29:24It teaches you patience, don't it?
29:26Done it with my brownies a few times, they love it.
29:29Do you go to brownies, Tab?
29:30You only go to brownies if you haven't got a pony.
29:34Oh, we can use them to decorate cards once they're pressed, like these ones I made.
29:38What's Taggy short for?
29:39Agatha.
29:40Isn't that awful?
29:41Tabitha's so much nicer.
29:42I don't like it if people call me Tabby at school.
29:44Sounds like a cat.
29:46Well, my parents call me Tag, which sounds a lot like Tab.
29:49If Mark has shouted Tab, we both go charging into the room and bump into each other in the doorway.
29:56If you come to Rorickshire, you can see Biscuit, my new pony.
29:59Oh, I'd love that.
30:00Tab!
30:01Here we are!
30:04Daddy, could Taggy come back to Rorickshire with us tonight and see Biscuit?
30:07See Biscuit?
30:08That's another horse entirely.
30:09Please, Daddy.
30:10She can come and get burgers with us on the way.
30:12Oh, I said I'd give Mrs. Emma left times.
30:14By a walk.
30:15It's not far.
30:16You go see the pony.
30:19Blanche?
30:22Yes!
30:23Yes!
30:24I can't wait for you to meet Biscuit.
30:26Come on!
30:27Okay, okay, okay.
30:27I'm coming, I'm coming.
30:28What Tabitha says goes.
30:30Last one to the car is a filthy rascal.
30:32Go, go, go, go, go!
30:34Go, go, go, go!
30:43Table 11 are ready for drinks, don't it?
30:51Oh, no!
30:52A little quick check on 12, okay?
30:54Yep.
30:56Draw the house down.
30:59Everything good, Mr. Campbell Black?
31:01Perfect.
31:01I'll have another, please.
31:03I can.
31:03And the pudding menu.
31:04Coming up.
31:06You can have pudding if Cameron's not here.
31:08Horrid Cameron thinks fruit salad is a pudding.
31:10Yuck!
31:10Oh, Cameron's not horrid.
31:12You know, when I first met her, I did think she was a bit scary.
31:15Even Daddy probably thought she was a bit scary.
31:18I was terrified.
31:20If Cameron and Dad got married, she'd be our stepmother.
31:23I'm not calling her mother.
31:24You don't have to.
31:26Malise doesn't make you call him Dad, does he?
31:29You're so lucky, all these extra grown-ups you've got.
31:32Are you one of our grown-ups?
31:33I could be your grown-up friend if you like.
31:43Delicious as ever, Basil.
31:45You got the wine or the girl?
31:47You bet.
31:49And this is for you.
31:54It was!
31:55It was!
31:56I didn't realise you'd lifted the ban on super-villains.
32:00Closest place to Carinium for an off-campus cabal.
32:03Don't worry, I charge in double.
32:04Hmm.
32:05Been discussing all the programme ideas.
32:06You've pinched.
32:07Not pinching, I don't think.
32:08We have everything we need.
32:10Just spending time with the family, same as you.
32:12Oh, I'm not going to congratulate you.
32:14I had no idea you had three such beautiful children.
32:19Do have a good evening, won't you?
32:37Mr Stratton, welcome back to Carinium.
32:40Good to see you.
32:42And can I just say, I'll definitely be voting for you tomorrow.
32:45That's very kind.
32:46Thank you, Doreen.
32:48Doreen.
32:48Doreen.
32:49Of course, the weather forecast looks perfect for a stroll into town tomorrow, but don't
32:54forget to vote on the way to the ice cream van.
32:56And can I just say from all of us here, and of course, we would say this to candidates
33:00from all the parties, that we wish you the very best of luck winning Cochester.
33:04Well, of course, I'm hoping to continue to serve the fine people of Cochester, but frankly,
33:09I'm already the luckiest man alive.
33:11And in fact, Sarah and I expect to be rather busy in the coming months.
33:14Oh, well, wonderful.
33:15Because we're having a baby.
33:24I'm sorry, what?
33:27We could be happier, actually.
33:30Of course, things have changed since I first became a father.
33:32But I gather men change nappies now.
33:36Well, and how wonderful to hear it here first on Cotswold Roundup.
33:41Now, after the break, pie, cottage, shepherds, or just humble?
33:45Christ!
33:47Oh, how the bloody hell did he find out?
33:49I didn't tell him, I swear.
33:51So we don't know who it was, but we don't know what else they know.
33:56Oh, my God.
33:57I'm going to have to go through with it now.
34:04People have babies every day, you'll work it out.
34:08Go home and celebrate with your husband.
34:16It's uncensored tonight.
34:17Please, let me do the show.
34:19Please let me be brilliant and make it up to you.
34:21You're in no state.
34:21BT will do without you as plan.
34:23No, but...
34:23We're not changing the show now.
34:25I told you you're off the show until you sort your little problem out.
34:28To my eyes, the problem has.
34:30If anything, it suddenly got rather bigger, isn't it?
34:33Go on.
34:44We're going to do it tonight.
34:46Just as planned.
34:47Oh, yes.
34:48All guns blazing.
34:51Chin Chin.
34:58How did you find out?
34:59I saw Winifred pregnant a number of times, remember?
35:02I know the signs.
35:06So, were you planning on telling me at any point over the next six months, or were you
35:09just going to pop out shopping Monday and come here with the baby?
35:13How could you expose me like that?
35:15On live television?
35:17Announcing it like it was part of your election campaign?
35:20I announced it because I think you might be under some pressure to get rid of it.
35:27I don't want you to.
35:30I heard Tony talking to you about a termination.
35:36Don't I get a say?
35:41It's my child too.
35:49So selfish.
35:50I'm selfish.
35:51You were the one considering getting rid of it for the sake of your career.
35:54At least my career's going well.
35:55Do you know, a lot of women would be glad to have a baby with a father who's already
35:59been through it.
35:59Oh, yeah.
36:00I'm sure you were really invaluable.
36:02Did you trap Winifred?
36:03Hmm?
36:04Like you've trapped me?
36:06Unlike you, she wasn't constantly on the lookout for an escape.
36:09Well, I bet she's glad she got one in the end.
36:11If you disgusted her even half as much as you disgust me.
36:15God.
36:16Do you know, I'm done.
36:17I'm done.
36:20I hope you lose your seat to the monster raving loonies.
36:30Mama.
36:31Hey, sweetheart.
36:33Hey, Tab.
36:33Did you have a good time?
36:34Yes, we really did.
36:35Hi.
36:36Hi.
36:36Mummy, this is Peggy.
36:37Yes.
36:38We've met before.
36:39She's a babysitter and she is brilliant.
36:41I'm taking her to meet Biscuit.
36:42Come on.
36:43Oh, Mark is he coming?
36:47Babysitter.
36:47Hmm.
36:48She's Declan O'Hara's daughter.
36:51There was a woman here this morning with a film crew.
36:53Carinium.
36:54Did you speak to them?
36:55No, of course not.
36:56I told her to get the hell off of my driveway.
36:58You should know there's some people sniffing around.
37:00It's the election, probably.
37:04How is Venice?
37:05Oh, cultural heaven.
37:07You want to see the photos?
37:10No, thank you.
37:16Oh, he's lovely, isn't he?
37:19He'll say hello for a polo.
37:20Look.
37:21Do you want a polo biscuit?
37:23Biscuit!
37:25If I say yes, here you go.
37:28Oh, biscuit!
37:30I'll say hello to Taggy.
37:37Your children are very beautiful.
37:39Not surprising, I suppose, but such a beautiful mother.
37:42Is it agony when you see her now?
37:44Oh, agony.
37:44She bores a fucking tits off me.
37:46I can't think how I stayed married to her for seven years.
37:48How many leaves puts up with it, I don't know.
37:49Well, he's much older, isn't he?
37:50Yeah.
37:51When he talks about the war, he means the Crimean.
37:56Well...
37:56How did you meet him?
37:58He was my chef to keep.
37:59Oh, a chef, like me.
38:02No, um...
38:02Why?
38:03Chef was in Bach's French.
38:04He ran the British show-topic team.
38:06Ah.
38:07I suppose he was my mentor, my Mr. Miyagi.
38:11Must have been hard to lose him to...
38:15The only thing that really irks me is that Millie's succeeded where I failed.
38:24I can't honestly say that I've ever made any woman happy.
38:29Not for very long.
38:37I'll babysit any time you like.
38:39I mean, I don't want to tread on Cameron's toes.
38:41Oh God, I wish Cameron could handle the kids as well as you do.
38:45You're gonna make an incredible mother one day.
38:51I wish...
38:59You're lovely with them.
39:02I've seen a different side of you today.
39:21It's been a lovely day.
39:23One of those days you don't want the sun to go down.
39:28You know, by the time Helen left me, I could hardly better look at her.
39:33Nothing she had done.
39:35Just cause of the hurt I could see in her eyes.
39:46I must never do it again.
39:52I mean it, Tag. I mustn't.
39:54I won't break you too.
40:07I did it. I left him. I left Paul.
40:10Oh, Jesus.
40:13I should go.
40:15Thanks for today. I'll call.
40:16I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I didn't know where else to go.
40:20I don't really have any friends.
40:32I love a cheese sandwich. Thanks, Shelley.
40:38Is that chutney?
40:39No, it's jam.
40:41We're back.
40:43Fred.
40:43Hello, guys.
40:44You're not back till tomorrow?
40:46We raced home to tell you the news.
40:47You tell them.
40:48No, you.
40:49The BBC called me at the hotel in Ireland.
40:52They've green Letty Eights.
40:54That's amazing.
40:55Oh, thank Christ.
40:57So now I can cut the tags off my Ventura T-shirt?
40:59You can.
41:03But, oh my God, they want it delivered in three months.
41:06We got an early flight back cause there's so much to do.
41:08Let's get to work.
41:12Why was Taggy O'Hara here?
41:14Babysitting.
41:15I was worried when I found you with her in my pantry.
41:17She's far too young.
41:20What does age even mean?
41:23It's just a number.
41:24Yeah, it's just a number now.
41:25Imagine what it'd be like in a few years.
41:26It'd be like me and Paul.
41:27Oh, God.
41:28Sarah.
41:31Why are you here?
41:33Uncensored's going out tonight without me.
41:36BT's presenting it solo and I think she's going to stitch me up.
41:40I think she knows something about me.
41:45And now everything's going to be ruined.
41:47She's going to crucify me live on national television.
41:51No, I think that's enough.
41:52Get off.
41:55I love you.
41:57I love you.
42:07I love you.
42:10I do quite a tribute.
42:13Hell of luck!
42:13I love you!
42:21You see, 2018 but I guess it's important here.
42:26I'm preparing to go live.
42:30Five, four, three, two, one.
42:36And cue Beattie.
42:38Good evening, and welcome to Uncensored, the naughtiest show on the network.
42:43The Beattie-Eyed among you might have noticed I'm by myself this evening.
42:46Sarah's getting some rest.
42:47Due to the pregnancy announced this afternoon on Carinium, on tonight's very special edition,
42:52we uncover the scandal behind the polished facade of a national treasure.
42:55Here we go.
42:57Whatever she says about you, we'll work it out.
42:59Okay?
43:00Minister for Sport, Rupert Campbell Black.
43:06You might want to fasten your seatbelts for this.
43:08It's going to be quite a ride.
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