- 10 hours ago
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Short filmTranscript
00:00.
00:47Are you going to wear that jacket?
00:49Of course I'm going to wear it.
00:50Maybe too hot.
00:51Oh, no, it can be quite cool up in the mountains.
00:53David, you'll be roasted and suppose it rains.
00:56What if it does?
00:56Well, you're not supposed to get it wet.
00:59Wait a minute.
01:00I can't wear it if it's hot.
01:01I can't wear it when it's rained.
01:02What am I supposed to do?
01:03Go to bed in it?
01:04Now, this happens to be the best thing in my wardrobe.
01:07Genuine cow hide.
01:08And you don't hear them complain.
01:09The cow is a very contented animal.
01:11Oh, no, it's not a contented animal, David.
01:13Far from it.
01:14You've heard that expression, poor cow.
01:16Well, you try wearing that in the hot sun
01:18and you'll know exactly what it means.
01:20What have you got against this jacket?
01:22Nothing.
01:22I know what it is.
01:23You wanted me to spend the money on a new carpet, didn't you?
01:25Well, the carpet is threadbare, David.
01:27Yes, well, if you'd looked at me from time to time,
01:29you'd have noticed that I was getting a little bit threadbare as well.
01:32That's why I was made redundant.
01:33No, it wasn't.
01:34Oh, yes.
01:35Now, I noticed one thing about all the blokes who were made redundant.
01:38We all had one thing in common.
01:40Do you know what it was?
01:41Shiny trousers.
01:43They didn't make those young men in their trendy suits redundant, did they?
01:46It was the recession, David.
01:48They didn't want to get rid of you.
01:49The chairman said so.
01:50He gave you that lovely watch.
01:51This watch was given to me for 25 years service.
01:54It was given to me the same day that he gave me the bullet.
01:57That's why I went out and bought this jacket.
01:58You see, you don't understand it.
02:00It gives me confidence.
02:01Well, I've got nothing against the jacket, David.
02:03It's just that it's not right for Spain.
02:06You always look so hot in it.
02:07Well, of course I'm hot in it.
02:08I'm bloody boiling.
02:10But I'll wear these if it kills me.
02:15Have you told Linda and Robert that you were made redundant?
02:18Well, of course I didn't.
02:19Oh, you'd think I introduced myself.
02:21I'm David Pearce, redundant draftsman.
02:23No, as a matter of fact, they think I'm a company director.
02:27A what?
02:28Company director doesn't mean anything.
02:29Anybody can be a company director.
02:31But you're not.
02:32All you need is a couple of hundred pounds to form a company
02:35and you make yourself a company director.
02:37But you haven't formed a company
02:39and you're not a company director.
02:40So why did you think you were?
02:42Well, I happened to give Robert a bit of advice
02:44about his investments.
02:45What?
02:46Yes, and I've invited them both out to dinner tonight.
02:48Oh, David.
02:49I've just cashed the last of the traveller's cheques
02:51and you invite them out for dinner.
02:53I was hoping to get a present for Mother today.
02:55Well, I didn't know, didn't I?
02:56I thought we'd got enough.
02:57You look after the money.
02:58Yes, and it's a good job I do.
03:00It slips through your fingers far too easily.
03:02Is that why you hide it?
03:04No.
03:04Oh, yes, it is.
03:05You keep moving it all round the room.
03:07It was in my clean underwear this morning.
03:10And you're same with your jewellery.
03:12This morning your earrings were also in my shaving cream.
03:15You're like a demented door mouse.
03:17Don't you trust me?
03:18Do you think I'll pawn them?
03:19No, of course not.
03:21But Robert said there's been some pilfering.
03:22Yes, and you think it's me.
03:24No.
03:25David, do you want to know where I keep the money?
03:27I don't want to know.
03:28All I ask is that you do leave a map behind
03:30just in case you fall off a mountainside this afternoon.
03:33David, if you want to look after the money...
03:35I don't want to discuss it.
03:37Now, will you kindly remove your earrings from my shaving cream, please?
03:40Yes, I think I'd better wear me jewellery today.
03:42David, if you want to know where the money is...
03:44I don't want to know.
03:45It's too late.
03:53Ah, morning, Linda.
03:56David, I've said it before, and I'll say it again.
03:59I do like you in that jacket.
04:02Thank you, Linda.
04:03Are you ready?
04:03Yes, Amy's just getting her earrings out of my shaving cream.
04:06She's a cautious little thing.
04:07Robert's just the same.
04:08Keeps his traveller's checks in his socks.
04:10Really?
04:11How strange.
04:12Oh, that sort of thing never worries me.
04:13I mean, I suppose if you're used to living out of a suitcase,
04:15you never think about it.
04:17Are you looking forward to the trip?
04:18Oh, yes.
04:19Oh, yes, I think you'll enjoy it.
04:20The Sierra Blanca can be very attractive at this time of year.
04:24Oh, yes, but I'm not looking forward to riding one of those donkeys.
04:27Now, Linda, please.
04:28Not donkey.
04:30Burro!
04:31Oh, sorry, David.
04:32I forgot I was talking to a traveller.
04:34Well, it's very important.
04:35You see, they only understand Spanish.
04:36Now, to get them going,
04:37you've got to press your knees into their sides and shout,
04:41Arriburo!
04:41Oh, and you must remember to roll your R's.
04:44Now, that's essential.
04:46Arriburo!
04:47Well, I'll remember that.
04:47But I shall be nervous.
04:49Oh, there's no need to worry.
04:50They're sure-footed beasts,
04:51and I'll be close by.
04:52Oh, I do hope so, David.
04:55Oh, good morning, Robert.
04:56Looking forward to the trip?
04:58Not really.
05:00See, Zimmerman's going.
05:02Zimmerman?
05:02Yes, big German.
05:05Why does he want to go up into the mountains?
05:07Oh, Robert, he's got a perfect right to go up into the mountains.
05:10I think he's got a meeting arranged with Martin Bormann.
05:14No, not the war again.
05:15It was 40 years ago.
05:17They haven't changed.
05:18They've still got territorial ambitions.
05:21Zimmerman took my deck chair yesterday.
05:23And when I complained, what happened?
05:26Mouthful of the Nuremberg rally.
05:28Oh, I must confess,
05:30when I saw his name on the list,
05:31I felt a distinct twinge of apprehension.
05:33Well, I shouldn't worry about it, Robert.
05:35Oh, probably right.
05:37Doubted if they'll find a donkey big enough for him.
05:38Ah, not donkey.
05:40Burrow, David told me.
05:42Oh.
05:43Did you?
05:44Gonna be damned, holding that jacket, David.
05:47Hello.
05:48Hope I haven't kept you waiting.
05:49Oh, no, David's been instructing me.
05:51Has he really?
05:52Yes, if I want my donkey to move,
05:54I have to shout,
05:55Arry Burrow!
05:56And I must practise rolling my R's.
05:59I wouldn't worry.
06:00Always been rather good at that, Linda.
06:03Well, er, shall we get off?
06:04Shall we, er, Arry Burrow?
06:07Oh, Amy, don't forget your hat, love.
06:09Lovely.
06:10Oh, shall I take the bag?
06:27Nein, nein, nein, ja, hier.
06:29Herr Simmermann Hotel Sanremo.
06:32Ja?
06:42Hello David. I thought you'd get here first. That cry of yours certainly works. Your donkey
06:48went like the wind. Pity you weren't on it. Did you have to run with it far? Oh no only
06:56for the first half mile and then I took control. You see I should have known they usually give
07:00the unruly ones of the more experienced riders. Did you see the others? Fleetingly Robert's shoe came
07:06off and Amy's hat blew off. Did it really? Oh dear oh dear. She made an awful fuss. Yes she
07:12would. I
07:12think she's really quite attached to it. Well should we uh should we browse while we wait?
07:26Oh David don't leave my side. Some of these gypsies look quite villainous. Well you stick with me
07:30Linda. Just as long as we know what we're looking for. Now I mean now look at this you see.
07:35Look. Now
07:36the leather's all right but just look at the workmanship. I mean the stitching's coming
07:39apart. Oh David there's things in it. I think it's someone's bag. Oh what is that? That's
07:43not true. That's not true. Terribly sorry. Terribly sorry. Misunderstanding. Oh look David. Look at this shawl. Isn't it exquisite?
07:57Don't say that. Don't say it's exquisite. We've got to haggle. Oh I don't like to haggle. Oh it's tradition
08:03they enjoy it. I've been known to haggle with them for hours. You can see the respect in their eyes.
08:08Pretend you don't like it.
08:10Why would I buy it if I don't like it? Because it's cheap. I don't think it's cheap David. Well
08:15it will be. Watch this. Oh dear. Oh dear. Oh dear. Oh dear. How much? Six thousand pesetas. Six thousand?
08:25For this? There is no show like this. The only one in Andalusia. Oh I'm not surprised. Look at the
08:30workmanship. Very inferior lace.
08:33Oh no David. Oh well all right my dear. If you don't mind wearing inferior lace. Three thousand pesetas. Three
08:39thousand pesetas. Not a penny more. Three thousand pesetas. You take the bread off my mouth senor. Madre mia. He
08:45looks very upset David. No don't you believe it Linda. He's enjoying every minute of it. Not venduto questo mantone
08:52todo via. U senora ha detto tres mil pesetas por isto. Tres mil? No no no no. I didn't say
08:57that exactly. Would you please tell her not to cry? She weeps senora. Because her eyes are not to cry.
09:03They cannot see so well. And her hands are swollen. She made a lace senor. Perhaps you will not make
09:09another. Oh well in fact I really think it's really quite pretty. Oh yes I like it. She made the
09:14best lace in all of España. Okay but no she's too old. Oh no no no she isn't. No you're
09:19not. Three thousand pesetas. Hey I think he's going to make a redundant Linda. And she won't get a gold
09:26watch you know. You know what they do here. Just leave them by the roadside. Oh do something David. Well
09:31three thousand was my stuff.
09:33starting figure. But now that I look at it again. I can see well that it is worth all of.
09:37Four thousand. Five. Six thousand. Done. Oh yes it's lovely. Oh look. What's she say? She say you are very
09:50beautiful. She say you wear that shawl and you'll always be lucky. Your lover will adore you. And you have
10:01many many children.
10:03Oh no don't take it off Linda. You look breathtaking. Six thousand pesetas senor. What? Six thousand pesetas. Oh no
10:10no no you don't understand. Now Linda allow me. Oh but David no it's so expensive. Expensive it's only money
10:15Linda. But Robert would be terribly jealous. He hates anyone to buy me presents. Oh well alright if you feel
10:19like that about it. You'll have to keep it for me till later. Later? Oh thank you you sweet generous
10:25fool. Now I'd better go and see where Robert's got to. Six thousand.
10:31Gracie. Gracie. Gracie. Gracie. Gracie.
10:33David.
10:38I want a word with you David. Oh yes Amy. I've got something awful to tell you. Oh well before
10:42you do love could you just let me have a little bit of money.
10:45Money? Yes I just thought we'd buy a few souvenirs. I only need a few pesetas.
10:48But that's what I wanted to talk about David. Is something the matter?
10:52It's my hat. Your hat?
10:54Yes. Well something happened to it.
10:56Did the donkey eat it?
10:58No. It blew away down the mountainside and I couldn't retrieve it.
11:01Well I'm not surprised. We're halfway to betrayed by now.
11:04It had the money in it.
11:08It had what love?
11:10The money David. I've lost the money.
11:12I wouldn't let you keep it and now I've lost it.
11:13Oh I feel terrible. Go on you can say anything you'd like to me. I deserve it.
11:18Amy.
11:19No I'm not going to blame you.
11:21I mean it could have happened to anybody.
11:22Well anybody who keeps their money in a hat that is.
11:25David aren't you angry?
11:26Angry? Of course I'm not angry.
11:28We're not going to fall out over money are we?
11:29I mean there are more important things to life than that.
11:32No as a matter of fact I have managed to save a few pesetas.
11:35We won't be able to afford any presents love but we'll get by.
11:38So don't you worry love.
11:41But David I thought you'd be so angry.
11:44I didn't know you could be so understanding.
11:47Sometimes you can show such a gentle side to your nature it makes me want to...
11:52Well it makes me want to...
11:55Excuse me.
11:58Keep calling.
12:18I'm sorry.
12:21I'm sorry.
12:31Oh, not you again.
12:33Would senor like to buy a shawl for the other senora?
12:35No, I wouldn't.
12:36It is a beautiful shawl.
12:38Not another one like it in all of España.
12:40Wait a minute.
12:41It's the same as this one.
12:42Except for that one.
12:44Yeah, and I suppose that was made by your poor aged mother
12:46with a nailed old hands and a fading eyesight.
12:48Well, look, I'm not interested.
12:50I'm spent up.
12:53Hey, wait a minute.
12:55Come here.
12:57What about a watch?
12:59A watch, senor?
13:00Si.
13:02No.
13:03I mean, how would you like to buy this one?
13:06Well, senor...
13:07I didn't get that on the plane, you know.
13:08Genuine solar quartz, alarm, chromameter, flashing lights,
13:12programme selector, constant liquid detail.
13:15It shows you the day, hour, minute, second.
13:18Now, you know, you, with that, you could be king of the gypsies.
13:21I cannot see it.
13:22Well, of course you can.
13:22You have to look at it under the table.
13:24Too bright in here.
13:26Now, you press that little button there, look.
13:27Day and date calendar.
13:28Press that one.
13:29All points of the compass.
13:30North, south, east, west.
13:31You'll need never get lost.
13:34Little pinger.
13:34Bing.
13:35Wake up in the morning.
13:36You'll be on the road before dawn.
13:38Now, now, I don't know how I'm going to manage without this,
13:42but I'm going to let you have this watch for 10,000 pesetas.
13:46Eh, no, senor.
13:487,000 pesetas.
13:497,000?
13:49You take the bread from my mouth, but for me, ah!
13:52Now, listen, you.
13:54This watch was given to me by my employer.
13:56I labored for him for 25 years.
13:58One day he come to me, say,
13:59I cannot pay you.
14:00You will have to go.
14:01But you have been like a son to me.
14:03I give you this watch.
14:04This is a very good watch.
14:05It will remind you of all the happy hours we spend together.
14:08And you offer me a miserable 7,000.
14:11Ah, forgive me, senor.
14:13For this, I give you 8,000 pesetas.
14:1510,000.
14:16Nine.
14:16Done.
14:20Grazie, grazie.
14:21Oh, hello, Amy.
14:23Ah, senora.
14:24Would you like to buy a shawl?
14:26No, she wouldn't.
14:26No, too much money.
14:28Not too much.
14:29For you, 5,000 pesetas.
14:31Wait a minute.
14:32I just spent...
14:33What, David?
14:34Oh, nothing, love.
14:35This show would bring you luck, senora.
14:36I can certainly need that.
14:38Ah, what do I see?
14:41I see you've always had to work very hard.
14:44You have never known any happiness.
14:46He's very good, isn't he?
14:49Your man has not been kind to you.
14:51He looks at another.
14:53When you complain, he beats you.
14:56You what?
14:56It's amazing what they can see in your palm, David.
14:58Now, listen, for the last time, the senora does not need a shawl.
15:01A watch?
15:02No!
15:02Now, would you kind of leave us, please?
15:04David, that was your watch.
15:05Oh.
15:06Why was that man wearing your watch?
15:07David, you've popped it.
15:09Well, it was only a watch.
15:10I wanted to forget that place anyway.
15:12I didn't need to be reminded about it.
15:13I ought to have got rid of it a long time ago.
15:15Oh, but, David...
15:16And...
15:16And we had to buy the presents.
15:18Presents?
15:19What?
15:22Oh, David.
15:24You've bought me a shawl and you had to sell your watch to do it.
15:29Well, love...
15:30Oh, David, I don't know what to say.
15:31I feel so ashamed.
15:33You're married to somebody for years.
15:34You think you know everything about them and then they do something that totally surprises you.
15:38David, you've shown me a side of your nature I didn't even know existed.
15:41Oh, it was nothing, though.
15:42Nothing?
15:44You've been wonderful today, David.
15:46Really wonderful.
15:48You've been understanding and kind.
15:51I'm married to a saint, David.
15:54Do I look nice?
15:55Oh, yes, though, very nice.
15:56Oh, I can't wait to find Linda and show her.
15:58Yes, of course.
16:00No!
16:06Ja, sis, sure.
16:07Ja, danke, danke, sure.
16:09Ja, yeah.
16:11Ja, yeah.
16:13Oh, God.
16:30Senor.
16:31I beg your pardon?
16:32English.
16:33Yes.
16:33You buy some jewelry.
16:35Very cheap.
16:35No, no, I don't think so.
16:37Keep walking, George.
16:38These gypsies can be very persistent.
16:40Your hand, senora.
16:41What?
16:41Oh, no.
16:42Please let go.
16:43Oh, you have a very good hand, senora.
16:46Oh, do I?
16:48Oh, see, very sensitive hand.
16:50It is a hand made to caress and to love and to know great passion.
16:55What rubbish.
16:57I beg your pardon?
16:58No, I mean, I mean, it's just sales talk, Emily.
17:01Oh, is it?
17:02Well, I don't agree.
17:04She's certainly seen deep into my character.
17:07You wear this ring, senor.
17:08It is very lucky.
17:09What?
17:10It is the moonstone.
17:11It is the stone that Solomon give to Sheba that bring forth great love.
17:16Oh!
17:17See how it clouds over?
17:19These are the storms of great passion.
17:22I don't think we want any storms of great passion, Emily.
17:26How much?
17:28Er, 15,000 pesetas?
17:30That's very reasonable, I take it.
17:32But, Emily!
17:32George!
17:33Oh, dearie, dearie me.
17:36Gracias.
17:37Buenos dias, senor y senora.
17:39And may you bear many strong sons.
17:43What?
17:46Do you think there's any truth in it, George?
17:48I shouldn't think so.
17:49I've just paid out 15,000 pesetas.
17:51It doesn't appear as if I'm going to be very lucky.
17:54You wait until tonight.
17:59Ah, senora.
18:00I'd like to buy that watch back, please.
18:02The watch?
18:03Yes, the one that my senor sold to you.
18:05Ah, this watch.
18:06Yes, see.
18:07It is a very good watch.
18:08Solar quotes, program selector, flashing lights.
18:10It is the best watch I never had.
18:13Yes, I know all about that.
18:14How much?
18:15For you, senora, 15,000 pesetas.
18:18I robbing myself.
18:19Oh, I'll take it.
18:22You buy the watch back for the senora?
18:23Oh, yes.
18:24I'm going to surprise him.
18:26He's a wonderful man.
18:28Ah, si.
18:28He's so sweet and kind and understanding.
18:31A man like that shouldn't have to sell his watch.
18:34That is true.
18:35Oh, I can't wait to see his face.
18:36He'll be so pleased.
18:38Ah, si.
18:39Then perhaps he'll buy you a shawl, like he did for the other senora.
18:42Oh, but I've got a shawl.
18:43No, no, no.
18:44That is for the other senora.
18:45What?
18:46Amy, there you are.
18:48Here's your hat.
18:49My hat?
18:50Yeah.
18:51I saw it blow off, so I retrieved it for you.
18:54Only trouble was, I couldn't get back on the damn donkey.
18:57Wouldn't stay still, you see.
18:58No handbrakes.
19:01Very awkward beasts, donkeys.
19:03You never know what they're going to do next.
19:04Oh, I think Zimmerman had the right idea.
19:06He carried his most of the way.
19:10Something wrong, Amy?
19:12Wrong?
19:13Oh, no, no, nothing wrong, Robert.
19:15Excuse me.
19:17Ah, senora, would you like to buy a shawl?
19:19The only one in all of España.
19:20Oh, do you think you'd have souped me, old boy?
19:35Oh, hello, Amy.
19:36Have you seen Robert?
19:37Er, yes.
19:38He's over there somewhere.
19:40I thought perhaps he'd been stolen by the gypsies.
19:43Um, you've forgotten your shawl, Linda.
19:46My shawl?
19:48Well, isn't that your shawl?
19:49Um, oh, yes.
19:51Yes, that's mine.
19:53Do you like it?
19:54Oh, yes.
19:55It suits you.
19:57But then I've always thought there was something of the gypsy about you, Linda.
20:00Pardon?
20:01Yes, I can just see you dancing around the campfire to the beat of the tambourine.
20:05Can you really?
20:06Did, um, Robert buy it for you?
20:09Oh, yes.
20:11Hello, Linda.
20:12Oh, hello, Robert.
20:13What's the matter?
20:13You look quite excited.
20:14Yes.
20:15I've got a surprise.
20:16What's that behind your head?
20:18It's a shawl.
20:20For you.
20:21Wonderful bargain.
20:22It's the only one in all Spain.
20:25Oh, well, if that's your shawl, Linda, this must be mine.
20:29Oh, Robert, do you think we could have a drink?
20:31I feel a little faint after the journey.
20:32Oh, yes, darling.
20:36Amy, have you seen Robert and Linda?
20:38Yes, they're in there having a drink.
20:39Now, come and sit down.
20:41You look quite pink.
20:42I told you that jacket would be too hot.
20:44Give it to me.
20:46Now, what's this?
20:47What's what, love?
20:48In the pocket.
20:50My word, it's another shawl.
20:53Oh, yes.
20:54But you've already got one shawl, David.
20:56Well, I, um, I got one for your mother, love.
20:59My mother!
21:01What can I say, David?
21:03I thought you didn't like her, and there you go, buying an expensive shawl.
21:06What a wonderful gesture.
21:09You must have got a lot of money for your watch.
21:11Oh, yes, yes, I did.
21:12How much?
21:12Oh, about, er, oh, 20,000 pesetas.
21:15Oh, I got a bargain then.
21:17I got it back for 15.
21:18Oh, my watch!
21:20But, Amy, you didn't have any money.
21:22No, I sold some of my jewellery.
21:24Oh, Amy.
21:25My moonstone ring.
21:27Not your moonstone ring.
21:28Well, it was the least I could do, David.
21:30After all, I lost the money.
21:31Amy, I did lose the money, didn't I, David?
21:36Oh, yes, so, so you know.
21:39Yeah.
21:40Well, I'm sorry, love.
21:41I mean, I only did it to teach you a lesson.
21:43I was going to tell you, but I just wanted to show you that money was my responsibility.
21:47Oh, it doesn't matter, David.
21:48I understand.
21:48You do?
21:49Yes, you are the man of the house.
21:50You should have more responsibility.
21:52I'm too bossy by half.
21:54You really mean that?
21:55Yes, of course.
21:57Oh, but, Amy, your moonstone ring.
21:59Don't worry about it, David.
22:00At least we got your watch back.
22:02You know, sometimes, well...
22:04I surprise you.
22:04Well, you're so understanding.
22:07You two go to come in and have a drink.
22:09We're surrounded by the Bosch in here.
22:11We need some support.
22:12You hear what they're singing?
22:14Lily Marlena.
22:15We've had ten verses so far.
22:16Well, I wouldn't mind.
22:17It's the song we took from the Africa course.
22:20It's a damn cheat.
22:21So, come on, we'll sing louder than they can.
22:23Hey, come in, Amy.
22:23Just a minute, David.
22:24Um, why don't you wear this jacket?
22:27You look so nice.
22:29Oh, darling, thank you.
22:30Baby, come on!
22:32Show the flag!
22:33Well, look, I mean, you know...
22:35Come on, I'm a crazy little boy, come on.
22:42What's his face here?
22:44Oh, what's the time we hear that?
22:45Oh, Amy, the pyjamas are throwing David into the fountain.
22:50Oh, dear.
22:51And I told him not to get that jacket wet.
23:17Oh, wow, hey, thanks.
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