- 5 hours ago
Emmerdale 12th May 2026
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TVTranscript
00:35Hi.
00:37Hey.
00:38I'm in sweets and a peeper.
00:40You just want to do the crossword?
00:42What have I ever done the crossword?
00:45All right, narky pants.
00:46Just thought you might be bored.
00:48I am.
00:49I'm exhausted.
00:51Why?
00:52Did you not get any sleep?
00:52Oh, some chirpy nurse kept waking me up to do my blood pressure.
00:57Shame on those chirpy nurses taking good care of you.
01:02Morning, Kane.
01:03Morning.
01:03Hi.
01:04Well, you'll be pleased to know your arms are all looking good.
01:07What?
01:07Does that mean I can go, then?
01:09Well, if you can show us you can walk without any cause for concern,
01:12we could be home by the end of the day.
01:13Great.
01:14And, er, will I get my results, then?
01:16That'll take a little longer.
01:17I know the waiting's hard, but we need time to grade the cancer.
01:21I'll check back in later.
01:23See how the walking's going.
01:26You might get out today.
01:29I will get out today.
01:30I know as it is, though.
01:32Understood.
01:34Right, and I will let you get some rest.
01:37Aye.
01:38Good luck practising that walk of yours.
01:41Love you.
02:06One and a half sugars, precisely.
02:09Cute.
02:10You remembered.
02:10Why wouldn't I?
02:12I can't remember the last time anyone made me a brew.
02:14That would be me, yesterday.
02:16I could get used to this.
02:18So where should we go for our first date?
02:20Ah, well, the Betsy's got to be chocker this morning, so...
02:23How about pub lunch?
02:25With everyone gawking at us?
02:27Let them.
02:28OK, pop it is.
02:30And I'm very much looking forward to it.
02:32Me too.
02:39Right, right, listen up, everyone.
02:42Yes, Captain.
02:43Mandy, can you put all that stuff away, please?
02:45Oh, no, she's only got three nails left, babe.
02:47Sorry, I mean, boss.
02:47I meant to say boss.
02:49Right.
02:50Anyway, we've had a massive order coming overnight,
02:52and we have promised that it will be out for delivery by the close of play today.
02:56What, as in today?
02:57Yeah, as in today.
03:00Bear here was by far our star worker yesterday,
03:03and you'd all do well if you worked at the same rate he does.
03:07Right, five minutes and counting.
03:12Shouldn't we be making tracks?
03:14Oh, no, don't worry.
03:15It's all mouth sometimes.
03:16Be fine, as long as the work gets done eventually.
03:18Yeah, see yourself down.
03:19No, no, I need to work.
03:22I love the belt.
03:25I had the most insane dream last night.
03:27I was holding her, but her head was a cartoon.
03:30I mean, how mad is that?
03:33Jacob?
03:35You're not still worrying about Dr Todd, are you?
03:37I just want her out of our lives.
03:39She is so weird.
03:41Oh, go on.
03:42What weirdo are we talking about specifically?
03:43Let's face it, the village is full of them.
03:46Meany Todd, the boss from hell.
03:48Tell her.
03:49Right, so I went to see her yesterday
03:50because I felt bad about everything that had happened.
03:52Her dad had died, so I took her some flowers.
03:55She didn't really say much,
03:56but then she came into the shop later
03:57and tore into me for no reason.
03:59Because she's a lunatic.
04:00Said she could make my life
04:01just as hell as she even had out of the job.
04:04Especially with what she knows.
04:05What is she on about?
04:06I've told him she's just messing with his head.
04:08Can you try and have a word with him?
04:12Jacob, listen to me.
04:14You need to be giving that woman
04:16the widest birth possible, okay?
04:18Do not even speak to her.
04:19Don't give her reason to wind you up.
04:21Just crack on with your life like she doesn't exist.
04:23Hang on.
04:24You're the one who taught me out of complaining about her.
04:26Exactly.
04:27Because I know her type
04:28and she's not worth it.
04:30So just do whatever you have to do.
04:32Ghost her, if you have to.
04:34Okay?
04:40The nurse said you wanted a word.
04:42You okay?
04:43Would you be if you were peeing blood?
04:46It's perfectly normal.
04:48It looks scarier than it is.
04:50Just keep hydrated
04:51and it will clear in a day or two.
04:53The catheter will be coming out
04:54before I go home today.
04:55I'm afraid not, no.
04:57We did cover this in your initial appointment,
04:59but most people forget the details.
05:02especially when there's so much to take in.
05:05The catheter will need to remain in place
05:07for two weeks at least.
05:08At least?
05:09I mean...
05:10So it could be longer?
05:12Well, hopefully not.
05:14The muscles that control urinary output
05:16need time to fully heal.
05:18So you may experience incontinence
05:20for some time after
05:21once the catheter's removed.
05:26When's the earliest I can be rid of it?
05:29Two weeks.
05:30Maybe longer.
05:32We won't know until we see how things heal.
05:37I just...
05:38I just didn't...
05:41I don't think I'd be going home with this today.
05:44It may take some adjusting too at first.
05:47Most people quickly get used to it.
05:49Some people even name their bags.
05:53I'll find us a nice, quiet table.
05:55Oh, there'll be no escape.
05:56Pinot?
05:57Er, of course.
06:00Erm, two glasses of Pinot Grigio, please, Bob.
06:03Make them large.
06:05You're looking very glam.
06:06Oh, no, I'm not.
06:07Just maybe making an effort for a change.
06:09So, Mary was right.
06:12You and Dr Todd, eh?
06:14Shh!
06:15OK, so maybe we are on our first date.
06:18Keep it to yourself.
06:19I knew it!
06:20I knew it!
06:21Well, I didn't.
06:21Mary called it.
06:23Can't wait to tell her.
06:25Bob, stop it.
06:26It's early days.
06:27I don't want to scare her off.
06:28Also, don't be scary.
06:31Listen, nobody deserves a bit of happiness
06:33more than you.
06:34So you go and grab it.
06:36Or her.
06:37Maybe I will.
06:38I'll bring the menus over.
06:42Well, that's our little secret about to blow.
06:46Which secret is that?
06:47Bob, he's sussed that we're on a date.
06:50Which means the whole village will be alight with gossip by tea time.
06:54And do we care?
06:56Absolutely not.
06:58Why the hell is Vanessa cosying up to her?
07:00I think they make a great couple.
07:03Couple?
07:04Yeah.
07:04We're on a date.
07:06Keep on to your heart.
07:13What do I want with them?
07:16I don't know.
07:17Thought you might want to eat them.
07:18That's what people normally do.
07:21What if you're going to be ungrateful?
07:27So Moira said the app went well.
07:30Can you just go?
07:31Why?
07:32Have you had some bad news?
07:33Yeah.
07:34You visited.
07:34No, I'm serious.
07:35Yeah, so am I.
07:36I said to Moira, strictly not...
07:38Ah!
07:39All right.
07:40Visitors.
07:40All right.
07:41Just take it easy, yeah.
07:43You know what's your blood pressure.
07:46Anyway.
07:48I'm not coming out all this way to go straight back home again.
07:52Traffic on the autumn bypass was a nightmare.
07:57Hey.
07:58I bet my scar's bigger than yours.
08:03Come on, mate.
08:05This time yesterday, you had a nasty little gremlin inside you and now it's gone.
08:10It's got to be worth a smile, hasn't it?
08:11Even from you.
08:13Talking of nasty little gremlins, the door's over there.
08:15Oh!
08:17Coffee.
08:17Oh!
08:19That's rank.
08:27You are going to get past this, you know.
08:30And do you know why that is?
08:33It's because me and you are cockroaches, mate.
08:36We're born survivors.
08:40I just wish, er...
08:42You know that I hadn't visited.
08:44Tell me something I don't know.
08:47I've never had this up.
08:51What?
08:55Look, you don't mean that.
08:57You're full of anaesthetic.
08:59Heads all over the place.
09:00I know how I feel.
09:03I should have gone with my instincts and never had this done.
09:21But the operation saved your life.
09:24Once you get home...
09:26I'm not going home.
09:28Not like this.
09:29Once you get your head around her, you'll feel different again.
09:32Oh, you reckon?
09:34Do you think I've never been ill?
09:36I get it.
09:37It knocks you sideways.
09:38But the good news for you is that you've got a golden missus.
09:42You've got great kids.
09:44They'll look after you.
09:45I don't want anyone looking after me.
09:47All right, yeah.
09:48I get that.
09:49No, you don't.
09:50You haven't a clue what you're going on about.
09:53All right.
09:54Will you tell me, then?
10:00I'm not fit for a purpose.
10:04What?
10:07I've lost all control.
10:09Down there.
10:11Nothing works.
10:14And I don't know if it's ever going to work again.
10:20I'm attached to a bag of peeing blood.
10:25And even when they take this catheter thing out,
10:28I'll still be incontinent for God knows how long.
10:34Can you imagine what that's like?
10:37Peeing yourself.
10:39Having your wife have to clean up after you.
10:41Your kids seeing you like that.
10:42Everybody knowing that you've got this pee bag attached to you.
10:51Can't do it, Caleb.
10:56I'd rather take on my chances than live like this.
11:12Bob.
11:14Stop staring.
11:16I've just texted Mary.
11:18Let her know her little romantic machinations have finally paid off.
11:22Hang on, what?
11:23You're saying Mary set this up?
11:25She may have played a small part.
11:29You're not jealous.
11:31And Vanessa and Dr. Tartt?
11:33Didn't the doctor save your life?
11:35Who would Vanessa have to pull to impress you?
11:41Sorry, Bob.
11:42Are you saying Caitlin and Vanessa are...
11:50Oh, my God.
11:51Even Mum Preet's gawking over now.
11:53Next time I'm going to take you to my favourite restaurant, miles from anywhere.
11:56Ooh, great.
11:57Where is it?
11:58It's just outside Sheffield.
12:00That's where I grew up.
12:01I didn't know that.
12:03It's beautiful.
12:04It's my happy place.
12:05And then, this morning, I received a letter
12:08to say that I've inherited our family home.
12:10Oh, wow.
12:11I wasn't expecting it, but it's always been the one place I've always dreamed of retiring to.
12:17Oh, right.
12:18So, does that mean you'll be moving back there?
12:20Who knows?
12:22Big houses like that, they cost a lot to run,
12:24and money, since my divorce, is tight.
12:27But when it's in your heart...
12:33Oh, there you go, my gorgeous.
12:35Got all them nasty knots there.
12:37That'll be a ten quid, please.
12:40Mm, nice run.
12:41Feels amazing.
12:43Turning into a right little side also, this, isn't it?
12:45It's going to be quid in by the end of the week.
12:47Yeah, if Jay doesn't scupper in.
12:50Right, come on, sweetheart, sit yourself down.
12:52Get that tension out of them big, stressy shoulders.
12:54No, I can't.
12:55Tea break's over.
12:56I need to get back out there.
12:57No, I've got a few minutes left, yeah.
12:59Right, here, get yourself a cup.
13:00No, I don't want to brew, and I don't want to massage.
13:03I need to do my job.
13:05Okay, and that is absolutely fine there.
13:08Are you sure you're all right?
13:09Look, I need to go to work, otherwise the boss will be angry.
13:12Yeah.
13:13Yep.
13:18What's all that about?
13:20I think he thinks he's back on the farm, working for Ray.
13:25I understand that you find it embarrassing,
13:29but nobody who cares about you will think any different.
13:32You still can.
13:36There'll still be a massive pain in the backside,
13:38just with a payback attached for the bit.
13:41But who cares?
13:47Seriously, mate.
13:48You did the right thing, having the up.
13:52Because you did it for your family,
13:54so that you'll still be around for them.
13:56That's got to be worth any price for the amount of to pay, hasn't it?
14:01You just get yourself right.
14:04Get yourself home to your kids.
14:22Okay.
14:36Ah, shhh.
14:42Ah.
14:48Ohh.
14:50Shh.
14:51Shh.
14:55Okay.
15:30Two more, please, Bob.
15:32Going well, then?
15:33It was. Well, it is.
15:35But then...
15:36Go on.
15:38Oh, no, forget it. I'm probably just over-thinking things.
15:42I have got some great big lug holes, and I'm very discreet,
15:46that's what I've been told.
15:47Right, so...
15:48She's just inherited her dad's big old house near Sheffield.
15:52Oh, that sounds like terrible news.
15:54But it is, though, because it's about 100 miles away,
15:57and mine and Johnny's life is very much here.
16:01Up to anything exciting, Caitlin?
16:04Oh, there's nothing sacred round here.
16:07Oh, see this face. I am happy for you.
16:10Take my advice.
16:12Don't bypass the fun stuff to get straight to the logistics,
16:16because a lot can happen in between.
16:18So you crack on.
16:20Yeah, maybe.
16:25Although,
16:26when you know you don't want to be in a long-distance relationship,
16:29then you kind of just know, don't you?
16:31Is there any point in even starting anything up to begin with?
16:45Sweetie, you do know you're safe here, yeah?
16:48You're allowed these breaks.
16:49And if you're not happy with the work,
16:51you can leave whenever you want.
16:52You do know that, don't you?
16:55Yes, it's just that I'm...
16:56You're not used to how things are running,
16:58but this is not the farm.
17:01Hey.
17:03Hello?
17:03Hey.
17:04It's all right.
17:06Just sit down and finish it, eh?
17:07Yeah, get yourself another bickie.
17:08Another bickie?
17:09You need to get back out there.
17:11Go in some slack, will you?
17:12What?
17:14What's happening?
17:16What the hell's going on?
17:17He was our best worker by far yesterday.
17:19I know you're old Molly cuddling him.
17:21He's had a moment.
17:22He's really scared of messing up,
17:24and he doesn't know how not to work hard
17:27because of what he's just been through.
17:28He's been through.
17:31Just give me a bit of space, babe.
17:37Listen, er,
17:39you take your time, big fella.
17:41No rush, okay?
17:44Used to.
17:45No excuses.
17:46You need to get back out of here, say, babe.
17:56I appreciate it.
17:58Any time.
18:00We'll look after each other in here.
18:18Johnny really loves his school.
18:20He's got great mates.
18:21He's doing so well.
18:23Are you trying to tell me something in particular, Vanessa?
18:26No, no.
18:27No, not at all.
18:27Well, it's just that since you came back with the drinks,
18:29you've seemed a little distracted.
18:31No.
18:31Have I?
18:32Yeah, yeah, I know.
18:33I'm sorry.
18:34Listen, er, if I'm being honest,
18:36ever since you mentioned who might be moving...
18:39You put the barriers up.
18:41I think it's a great plan and I think it's a great plan and I wouldn't want to get in
18:45the way of that.
18:48Has Charity said something to you by any chance?
18:51No.
18:52No, I just think you should follow your dream and live where you want.
18:57And maybe we should just stay friends.
19:02I understand.
19:04But like I said, old houses cost money and I'm flat broke right now,
19:08so maybe I'll have to stay around for a bit longer, find a way to raise the funds.
19:13Any ideas?
19:15I might have a little one foaming right now, as it happens.
19:24Hi.
19:25Oh.
19:26You're not dressed yet?
19:29Have you packed your bag?
19:31Er, no, not yet.
19:32Oh.
19:33Just like your boys.
19:35So how did your walk down the corridor go?
19:38I haven't tried.
19:40Really?
19:42Oh, right, I thought you'd be mithered in them.
19:45Sorry, I've been meaning to get to you all day.
19:48Hi.
19:48Shall we see how you're walking?
19:51Yep.
19:52OK.
19:53Just take this as slowly as you need to.
19:55He'd run out here if he could.
19:57We won't keep him any longer than necessary.
19:59Oh, there you go.
20:01Do you need help?
20:02No.
20:24No, I can't.
20:26Are you OK?
20:28I just need...
20:30I just need to sit.
20:32Just take some deep breaths.
20:37Hmm.
20:39Do you want to try again?
20:42Um.
20:45I don't think I can.
20:46It's too painful.
20:48Well, maybe in five minutes.
20:49I just said I can't.
20:51It's OK.
20:52It can be this way for some.
20:55We can always try again tomorrow.
20:59Thanks.
21:06Well, it looks like you're staying in for another night.
21:08Can you handle that?
21:09It's not my fault, is it?
21:10I know.
21:11Just...
21:12Well, the boys are going to be disappointed.
21:17I'm sorry.
21:19I know you'd be there if you could.
21:24Look, why don't you just try and, er...
21:26You get some rest.
21:29And, er...
21:30Well, you'll be back home to Upper Madness tomorrow.
21:33All right?
21:54And if you've been affected by issues raised in tonight's episode,
21:58you can visit itv.com forward slash advice for support information.
22:03Well, more drama on the way here on ITV1.
22:06Stay with us for Coronation Street next.
22:21You
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