- 2 days ago
EastEnders 4th May 2026
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TVTranscript
00:00I
00:29Well, how's everything at home, then?
00:32Yeah, you know, surviving.
00:34Tell Julie we're thinking of her, yeah?
00:35Yeah, yeah. And you.
00:37Phil! George just called. Baby Ivy's coming home.
00:41Oh, that's great news, mate. I'll pop over, you know,
00:44when I get back home. Sweet.
00:51She'll be weighed weekly, so we can monitor things closely.
00:54The neonatal team will visit a couple of days a week for six weeks.
00:57Then your health visitor will take over.
00:59Then phone weekly just to check in.
01:01It's a bit much, innit?
01:02You'll also need to keep a record of how much she takes in at each feed,
01:06plus wet and dirty nappies.
01:08Oh, I didn't have to do that with my boys.
01:10A few notes here and there shouldn't be a problem,
01:12but the more advice you can throw at us, the better.
01:14I'm glad you feel that way.
01:17It's just some literature about what to expect.
01:20Her milestones adjusted to age,
01:21making sure she's not exposed to infections or poor air quality.
01:25You know, that's my thing.
01:27Nothing we can't handle.
01:28Well, she's coming home off us.
01:30Just to sort them out, so...
01:32Excuse me.
01:37I've got you.
01:39All right?
01:43Hey, who's got your goat?
01:47I, um, I was doing the books for Dad's restaurant last night,
01:51and I can't pay the supplies again.
01:54I mean, Dad's gonna come home with a new baby,
01:56and I just have to drop all of this on him.
01:58How much you need?
01:59No, we can't just keep on taking money out of your mum's bar
02:02to keep the restaurant afloat.
02:04I mean, Dad's gonna clock it when he ain't so busy with the baby anyway.
02:07Gee, it's my name above the door.
02:11Listen, what is the point in having a family business
02:13if you can't help our family?
02:19You're up early on a bank holiday?
02:20Yeah, well, it's hard to live your best life if you're in bed half the day.
02:24Here you go.
02:24Uh-oh.
02:30Um, actually, Phil, there was something I wanted to ask you.
02:34What, four missed calls? What's going to you?
02:37Yeah, I wonder if you fancy going down that snooker
02:39all we used to go to, down the Marlin Road.
02:42You fancy a couple of frames of snooker with your old men?
02:45I've got work.
02:49Just you and me, then?
02:51You know what?
02:52Well, I'm second-forward to some.
02:55I'm not really in the mood.
03:03Sons, hey, they'll break your heart ten times a day.
03:07You should learn not to take it so personal.
03:11So, er, what was it you wanted to ask me?
03:13Oh, erm, yeah, it's nothing that we can't keep.
03:17You should go out, even if Grant's not up for it.
03:19Seize the day and all that.
03:20Yeah.
03:23Yeah, you're right.
03:29Darling.
03:31Abby's just texting me about the debate tomorrow.
03:33Ian and I both need opening remarks.
03:36Oh, sounds right up your street.
03:37Opening remarks, closing ones, all the remarks in between.
03:41Morning.
03:42Oh, morning.
03:43I might have a big mouth, darling, but putting things down on paper's a whole other thing.
03:47I wonder if you would help me out.
03:49I mean, I'm just an ideas person.
03:50You're so much better at the other stuff than me.
03:52You mean the boring bits that you can't be bothered with?
03:55Mum, I have just dropped the kids off at the dance workshop.
03:58I was hoping to have the debate tomorrow.
03:59What is more important than helping your mother?
04:02You know what?
04:02All I do is see her running around after other people.
04:05I reckon she deserves a break.
04:07Oh, so I'm on my own again.
04:09Well, no change there.
04:11And by the way, cooked breakfast is over.
04:16Sorry about her.
04:18Don't be.
04:18Um, I can handle being in a bad books if it gives you a day of peace and quiet.
04:24How are you doing?
04:25How's Phil?
04:26Phil?
04:26He's bright and breezy, believe it or not.
04:29You know, I haven't been around a lot lately, but, uh, knowing Nigel ain't here anymore, it's...
04:35It's weird.
04:37Go easy on yourself.
04:39Let me know if I can do anything.
04:45Oh, please. This is a family establishment.
04:49Yeah, yeah, sorry.
04:50Just looking for a bit of common decency.
04:53Common being the operative word.
04:55Oh, jealous, are we?
04:57Oh, the cheap fling that won't outlast milk, I don't think so.
05:01Whatever you say, Linda.
05:03See ya.
05:10Here we have to do us a favour.
05:12Stick these up behind the bar, will ya?
05:13Who?
05:14I mean, look, I think the election's locked in, but it never hurts to try and get a few more
05:16votes,
05:17does it?
05:17Oh, in, in, in.
05:18Don't you think this is going on a bit now, mate?
05:20Going on?
05:21What's that supposed to mean?
05:22It means we're sick and tired of listening to ya.
05:25Hey, yeah, yeah, you pair of lovebirds.
05:27I know you like a glass of wine, don't ya?
05:29We're doing a bank holiday special in the Queen Vic.
05:31Buy two glasses of wine and you get the rest of the bottle free.
05:34Spread the word this, baby.
05:35Well, at those prices, you know, it'd be weird not to.
05:37Good deal.
05:38Actually, babe, I've already made plans to, um, help Harvey sort his vinyl collection out,
05:44because he likes some alphabetical in there.
05:48So, you'd rather sort out a middle-aged man's vinyl than spend some quality time with your
05:53lady love?
05:54Of course not.
05:55A promise is a promise.
05:56Uh, I can, uh, count on your votes, can't I?
05:59No, it's not a strong enough word, Ian.
06:01You know, I prefer my politicians to have a bit more finesse and pizzazz.
06:06Hmm.
06:06Howie?
06:07Sorry, mate.
06:08I already promised Elaine.
06:10See you later.
06:14Vote for me and I'll make it worth your while.
06:17Shh, she's sleeping.
06:18Careful.
06:19Careful with her.
06:20Oh!
06:21Welcome home.
06:22Oh, shh.
06:23Yeah, it's all right.
06:24Hey, make some room.
06:25Sleeping VIP coming through.
06:27There we go.
06:28There you go, darling.
06:29There we go.
06:30That's it.
06:41How you doing, Julie?
06:44Oh.
06:46Uh, I think that's the 870 in the time I've been asked that.
06:51Sorry.
06:51Sorry.
06:52I don't mean to sound snippy.
06:54I always used to say to Nigel, it's not snippy, it's just my voice.
06:57Welcome to my world.
06:58Hello.
07:00Nigel was a real diamond.
07:03I keep meaning to pop in and see how Phil is.
07:07Yeah, he's doing all right, actually.
07:09Yeah, he's doing better than I thought he would.
07:11He's doing better than me.
07:13I'm really proud of him, actually.
07:14Uh, I don't want to bring him down.
07:17Oh, don't be daft.
07:19I've got to go to the care home, um, to clear out Nigel's room.
07:24Already?
07:25Mm.
07:25There's a new resident that needs the room and, you know, if they need the space, and
07:29the world keeps turning.
07:31Even so, you haven't had the funeral yet.
07:35I, uh, I thought I should take them something, you know, like a tin of biscuits or something,
07:40because I'm not going to be going back there again, but it's really hard to choose which,
07:44which one, um, which one says, um, thank you for looking after my dying husband, um,
07:54and thank you for giving him all when I could.
07:57I'm sorry, I need to go now.
07:59I'm going to forget the biscuits and food.
08:10I thought I'd be spinning.
08:12I don't know, being a dad at my age, but I'm looking forward to getting stuck in.
08:17Well, it's a lot different in our day, wasn't it?
08:20Yeah.
08:21Yeah.
08:21I mean, you can't leave everything to Mum and hide out in the bar this time, remember?
08:25Hey, it wasn't that bad.
08:26I'm like, my old man, never changed a nappy, didn't tell me to park nothing, compared to him.
08:31And that's what you're measuring yourself up against, is it?
08:33God, no.
08:34Okay.
08:34Just saying, I wasn't that bad the first couple of times, then this time I'm going to be better.
08:38In garden culture, we have a naming ceremony where the baby is born,
08:42to bring it to the community.
08:44Oh, okay.
08:45That sounds like a lovely idea.
08:46Can we do that for Ivy?
08:47Yeah.
08:49Oh, Nicola.
08:50She is beautiful.
08:52Can I have a little cuddle?
08:54No.
08:55She needs to be kept away from infection, sorry.
08:58Come on, Mum, it's a baby.
08:59People want cuddles.
09:00She needs peace and quiet.
09:02Why are you all here?
09:04I didn't invite her.
09:06Can you all just come home, please?
09:08Yeah, yeah, of course.
09:10We need to make a move, don't we, Billy?
09:12Come on.
09:14If anyone had a cuddle with you.
09:15No, it's all right, Billy.
09:16You need to get on with that guttering.
09:18Yeah, we just don't have much sleep, and with the baby coming early, it's been a bit intense.
09:22Have I done something wrong?
09:23Of course not.
09:24No, we'll soon settle, and then we'll wet the baby's head, yeah?
09:31I'll come to you as a damsel in distress.
09:33Whatever it is going on, I don't have time right now, okay?
09:35No, that's private.
09:38I'll sit here, then.
09:40I'm sorry.
09:41Mother, isn't this sad?
09:42It's just these camps.
09:43I had no idea about any of this side of running your own business.
09:46It's a nightmare.
09:47Well, it's part and parcel of running a business.
09:49Not the most fun part, obviously.
09:51But listen, you've got Tim's money in the bank to soften the blow.
09:55That's not my money.
09:57Well, I know you didn't come about it the way you would have liked.
09:59Yeah, well, I can't spend that, Grant.
10:00No matter how many bills I've got, I just, I can't touch that money.
10:03Don't ask me to explain.
10:05Honestly, I don't think I understand it myself.
10:09Can you not tell Mum?
10:10Please, okay, the last thing I want is that sticking her all in.
10:13Listen to me.
10:14Everyone makes mistakes, including mothers.
10:17It doesn't mean to say she wouldn't do anything for you.
10:21Yeah.
10:23Can we change the subject, please?
10:25Yeah.
10:27I need a few opening lines for my debate tomorrow.
10:31And between you and me, I've got butterflies about the whole thing.
10:35Oh, Grant.
10:36Turns out I really, really want to win this.
10:39So if you could just jot down some fabulous phrases to show Warford what I'm made of.
10:46Come on, hurry up.
10:47Oh, Phil, I don't want to play snooker or go to the dogs or do any of those things on
10:52your bucket list.
10:52It ain't a bucket list.
10:53I just don't want to sit around anymore, that's all.
10:55Well, that's because you've got nowhere to sit.
10:57Whereas I've got a lovely sofa in there with my name on it.
11:01You two should be ashamed of yourselves.
11:03Oh, what's this?
11:03Kat Slater stands in moral judgement.
11:06Julie's gone to the care home to get all Nigel's stuff, alone.
11:09What's the matter, Sam?
11:10No smart comeback?
11:12He's got the knack.
11:13Yeah, if I teach him to clean the sinks, I can put my feet up.
11:18Your trainees are definitely getting younger.
11:20Our bank holiday's meant to be relaxing when you've got this little one to entertain.
11:25Oh, Linda, I just don't remember being this knack when the girls were young.
11:28I know, I know.
11:29Look, I wanted to make an appointment for a manicure.
11:31I mean, my nails, they're a mess.
11:33I feel like I never get a chance to get them done properly between work and the kids.
11:36We've had a cancellation, if you don't mind waiting.
11:39Um, um, go on.
11:41I'll put the kettle on and we can have a cup of tea and a natter.
11:44It's not like I'm going to get any work done with this little one here, is it?
11:47Well, I should find Mum.
11:48If she's all in her tears about some speech she's writing.
11:52It's the holiday and it can't all be about other people.
11:56Honey, you're not the first person to say that to me today.
11:59Well, I suppose I should take that as a sign, do you know?
12:02Yes, take a seat, milk and sugar.
12:04Oh, just milk, please don't have it.
12:06Oh, sorry, sorry, hang on.
12:10You know, I thought having a wedding in the park would be easy,
12:13but Vicky's got to do this coming out of her ears.
12:15Uh, he wouldn't catch me getting wet again.
12:17Yeah, I feel more secure with Cathy now than I ever did when I was married.
12:20I'd be up for it.
12:22If Kim would have me after that disaster of an engagement party.
12:25Cheers.
12:28You all right?
12:30Say hello to our newest member.
12:32I've promised her a few drinks, but don't worry, I'll replace them.
12:35I thought it was where men could be men and women could be absent.
12:39It's not exactly a lady, is it?
12:42Sorry, Princess, didn't mean to offend you.
12:48Oi, how many have you invited down here?
12:51I've been looking for you everywhere. What are you doing down here?
12:56I was just trying to garner some votes.
12:58Oh, well, you can forget about that. Wait till you see what I've been working on.
13:02Welcome to Peacock Palace, home to adulterers, addicts and some of Walford's most shady characters.
13:08Mrs Peacock clearly has no problem with boozing and dodgy men.
13:12Who knows what other seedy things are going on under the roof of a woman who recently injured
13:16a pensioner in a car crash, bribed a council official and received a police caution or injury
13:21for the child. Multiple failed marriages, a daughter in and add to rehab.
13:26Life, Che Peacock is one scandal after another. Vote Elaine Peacock and watch the rest of Walford
13:32go the same way.
13:35See, after the voters see this, we'll be looking at a Beale landslide,
13:39or at the very least a decent majority, I'd say.
13:46I've, erm, I've sent Dad upstairs for a kip. He's dead on his feet, so.
13:51Oh, poor love. You know what they say about babies. It's always the men who suffer.
13:58You know, you really didn't have to chuck everyone out just then.
14:02They only wanted to see Ivy.
14:05Do you hear me?
14:09Nicola, it ain't right what you're doing just treating everybody who cares like they're,
14:14well, like they're nothing.
14:15Well, they are nothing. To her, at least.
14:19I think she don't know who most of them are.
14:21Yeah, she has got enough on her plate.
14:25They're not worrying about getting smothered in germs.
14:29Look, I do know that it must be hard.
14:32Do you know what they said at the hospital? Remember the fourth trimester, right?
14:38That means that she's so small, she doesn't know we're separate people yet.
14:45Imagine that. This tiny little thing.
14:51This beautiful, precious baby, and all she's got to rely on is me.
15:01Me. Of all people.
15:04So much for bankology deals. This place is big.
15:08Oh, Kim, darling. Listen, where's your old man?
15:12It was the time he was here so often, we were going to rename the pub the Queen Howie.
15:16And then what? You ain't seen like Harvey and Ian about at all again.
15:19Oh, they're all down by the allotment before us, innit?
15:21What?
15:22Yes! They bring that on booze, they sit on plastic chairs, and they put the world to rights.
15:26You see, they think that the women don't know about their little get-together.
15:30But the truth is, it's us women that need a break from them. Do you know what I mean?
15:33I love my usual.
15:34Trains!
15:35All right, I'll be back shortly.
15:58We, uh, thought we could do some company.
16:02Yeah. And bin bags.
16:04It's good timing, actually.
16:07Do you know, I never understood why a bloke who worked in a video shop needed quite so many ties.
16:11Yes.
16:11He has had more than one job in 30 years, you know.
16:14Not that he needed to wear a tie for any of them, I might add.
16:18And I mean, he's got a hundred, too.
16:21Uh, I bought him a subscription one Christmas, and they sent him a new tie every month.
16:26And, um, well, he decided to cancel it in the end.
16:29Uh, he said they weren't to his taste.
16:32What does that mean?
16:33Well, they were ties that other people might actually wear.
16:35Not enough primary colours and coconuts for his liking.
16:44I don't think he wore one of these while they were staying in here.
16:48I just think he could better part with them.
16:51Yeah, yeah.
16:53Let me do that. Here, give it. Come on.
16:54All right, I'm gonna take these to the car, okay?
16:59Is this, uh...
17:01Is this what you wanted to ask me this morning?
17:04Coming down here, why didn't you?
17:06You know, I would have dropped everything.
17:07Yeah, I know you would, and that's the whole point.
17:10You know, you've been handling this so well,
17:14and you've been making such positive decisions.
17:17I just didn't want to get in the way of all that.
17:20That don't mean I don't feel...
17:22You know?
17:24I know.
17:26But you're doing the right thing, you know?
17:28I mean, we just have to pack up all of his stuff and build a life.
17:33Without eight minutes.
17:35You know, I wouldn't be here if it weren't for Nigel.
17:41You know, he not only saved me, he showed me.
17:44When things are bad, we need each other.
17:47You know, struggling on, like, people don't care.
17:50That just... it just don't work.
17:53He had his moments, didn't he?
17:55Yeah.
17:57Look at this place, eh?
17:59All old family photos and ties.
18:03It was Nigel, I told he hadn't on him.
18:16You're amazing with her.
18:18Give over.
18:19Even you can change a nappy.
18:21No, I wouldn't know where to start, but...
18:23I mean, you're a natural.
18:25Well, she did live inside me.
18:27I mean, the least I can do is pick her up.
18:33See, you can't take a compliment, then?
18:36Well, I've never had many, that's why.
18:39I never liked the baby stage.
18:41I wasn't very good at it with the boys.
18:43So's who?
18:44Well, Teddy, if he was ill.
18:46And my old man.
18:48My sister Gemma's the maternal one.
18:50Isn't she?
18:51It's just one of the reasons she's my mum's favourite.
18:55I don't think I've ever heard you mention your mum before.
18:57Well, when we were younger, she was a natural.
19:02But we don't get on much now.
19:05Well, who cares what she says?
19:07Or anyone else.
19:08I mean, I have seen you these past few weeks.
19:10Down in the hospital.
19:12Every day, sleeping in chairs, eating out of vending machines.
19:15Look, I might not be a baby specialist.
19:19But I know a good mum when I see one.
19:24Harry wouldn't be alive if it weren't for you.
19:28It was you.
19:30You reached into that dark place he was in and you pulled him out.
19:35Not just me.
19:37Well, it doesn't matter who did what or...
19:40or what mistakes that you might have made in the past.
19:44You were there for him when it mattered, Nicola.
19:47When you really, really needed a mum.
19:50And you're going to do exactly the same for that little one.
19:56It just seems a bit underhand.
19:58I mean, look, this is my mate.
20:00I mean, surely I can get him to vote for me.
20:02You think?
20:03Please caution for me.
20:04Oh-hoo-hoo!
20:06Drake, look!
20:07Oh-hoo!
20:08Here we go, I've grabbed a few of these on the way through
20:10because I'm trustworthy, I have a head for detail
20:14and I always follow through on my promises.
20:16Why are you being so weird?
20:18Oh!
20:18Oh, look!
20:19Oh, you're all here, are you?
20:21In a lovely time.
20:22My mates will get their own pub going on the allotments.
20:25What is the matter with you lot, eh?
20:27You should be buying booze in the Queen Vic,
20:28not slurping your own out here.
20:30What?
20:30Says who?
20:32Oh, oh, says who?
20:33I'll tell you says who.
20:34Cat.
20:35That's who says who, OK?
20:36Don't you're laughing at Sasquatch.
20:38You shouldn't even be here.
20:39What happened to loyalty?
20:40I'm having a game!
20:40I'm having a game!
20:42It's like Alfie says.
20:44I mean, loyalty amongst friends is important and also in counsellors.
20:49Oh, I'm not putting on here for you.
20:50Look, mate, sorry.
20:51We just come down here for a bit of peace and quiet.
20:53Yeah, OK, Ross, I get it, but with you lot being here,
20:57I've got a half-empty booze in here, haven't I?
21:01How about a compromise?
21:03What?
21:03OK, to make up for Alfie losing trade, right,
21:07Alfie agrees to supply the food and the drink for the wedding.
21:11That's it.
21:12I'll tell you what, OK, right, you're throwing a few cold ones
21:15and you've got yourself a deal!
21:18What?
21:18OK, right, let me in.
21:20Can you see?
21:21That is the sort of conflict resolution that you need in your local counsellor.
21:27I'm voting for Elaine, mate.
21:29Yeah, us too.
21:30And me.
21:34All right, there, give him a good shot with this, Simon.
21:38Final check.
21:40Thanks for being here.
21:44I promise I won't try and struggle on my own again.
22:03I could, er, give us a privacy, if you like.
22:07No, er, no, I think, er, this is a job best done in a comfy chair with a brew.
22:14So...
22:15Tentacle.
22:30Tentacle.
22:31Tentacle.
22:41Tentacle.
22:42Tentacle.
22:42Tentacle.
22:42Tentacle.
22:43Tentacle.
22:44Tentacle.
22:47Tentacle.
22:59Tentacle.
23:01Tentacle.
23:02Tentacle.
23:03Tentacle.
23:03Tentacle.
23:04Tentacle.
23:04Tentacle.
23:06Tentacle.
23:08Tentacle.
23:08Tentacle.
23:09Tentacle.
23:10You know we've been thrown in the deep end, but...
23:12And everything we did with her our kids don't count because...
23:16She is so tiny!
23:18Oh, she's vulnerable.
23:21I'm gonna be there.
23:23For every appointment.
23:24Every check-up.
23:26Yeah!
23:27Elphizers are gonna be sick of the sight of me by the end of this.
23:30Hey, look at her.
23:31How lucky a wee-y.
23:36you know when Harry was born all I heard was my old man's voice in my head telling
23:43me how useless I was how he'd be better off without me and that was before my
23:51mum started chipping in here we could fill a truck with the amount of baggage our parents
23:58left us good I wonder what we're gonna pass on to her oh can you check me phone I gave
24:08nurse
24:08Teague's me number miss George there's ten missed calls and a voicemail if that's the health visit
24:19are we gonna be blacklisted you said bring them back oh okay hello this is em George
24:33Knight's phone I'm so sorry it was on silent where is he tell him he's got to come and see
24:39me it's his
24:41dad how much do I owe you I'll put your purse with it daft what's the point in owning a
24:50share of the
24:50salon if you can't have a freebie thank you you should do things for yourself more often
24:57don't take this the wrong way yeah that you look like you could do with a break and all
25:01what me and every other working mum on the planet hey women what's in the room that we can dance
25:07to
25:11oh Johnny used to love this song when he was little oh as soon as the music came on he'd
25:17be up on his
25:17feet right make some space shooting oh no no your generation don't know nothing about dancing trust me
25:23oh that's much good mom uh Phil got tied up he asked me to pop over and pick up rain
25:30what you
25:31sure Fred wants in there tonight after night yeah I think he's exactly what the house needs right now
25:37oh boo dance party's over then I'll have to show you up another time let's get your coat come on
25:43I thought I'd take your advice and uh pamper myself hmm colour looks good pink pink to make the boys
25:49wink
25:50stop it so did you uh did you read it a letter uh yeah yeah I did it was nothing
26:05really just uh
26:06a list of people he wanted me to get hold of old friends and things like that you know
26:13uh
26:14oh
26:15yeah
26:15yeah
26:15yeah
26:15yeah
26:29yeah
26:30yeah
26:47You must be Nicola.
26:50George never could resist the blonde.
26:53Lose George's number.
26:56He ain't interested.
26:58I'm his dad.
27:00No.
27:04You are a scumbag.
27:07And as far as George is concerned, you're still inside.
27:12And that suits him down to the ground.
27:16They only let me out for treatment.
27:19I've got lung cancer.
27:22Terminal.
27:25Help me make things up with a boy before I go.
27:30Please.
27:38They're not family, but their bond is as destructive as it is unbreakable.
27:43Brand new drama Half Man is on iPlayer.
27:45Watch now.
27:46And on BBC Three now, David Attenborough reveals the mammals that thrive in the dark.
27:52Next here on BBC One, it's MasterChef.
27:57Bye-bye.
27:57Bye-bye.
28:02Bye-bye.
28:12I'm going to be right there.
28:17Bye-bye.
28:18Bye-bye.
28:18Bye-bye.
28:18Amen.
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