Raising a child with autism is a journey of quiet sacrifices and a type of love that completely reshapes a family's world.
Bila anak mula melangkah ke alam remaja, cabarannya menjadi lebih unik dan kadangkala sukar untuk digambarkan dengan kata-kata.
Dalam episod Pop Family Podcast kali ini, kita akan menyelami "pengorbanan dan realiti sebuah keluarga" yang sebenar, melihat sendiri bagaimana kekuatan kasih sayang menjadi tunjang utama dalam mengharungi liku-liku kehidupan seharian.
We are bringing together the voices that matter most: the perspective of a mother navigating the balance of protection and independence, and the heart of a sister who offers a special kind of lifelong companionship.
Alongside them, expert insights will help us understand the transition into adulthood and how we can better support our loved ones through this stage.
Sama-sama kita saksikan perkongsian yang penuh emosi dan inspirasi ini bersama hos Nina Nadira serta barisan panel jemputan, Auni Nisrina Nabihah, Dr Jochebed Isaacs, dan Sarah Suhaimi. Ini adalah peluang untuk kita semua belajar, memahami, dan memberi sokongan kepada komuniti luar biasa ini.
Don’t miss this heartfelt conversation tonight on Life with Autism: Pengorbanan dan realiti sebuah keluarga at 8 PM across our social platforms.
Jumpa anda malam ini di Pop Family Facebook, YouTube and www.popfamily.my.
#PopFamily #LifeWithAutism #AutismAwareness #KeluargaMalaysia #SpecialNeedsParenting #RealitiKeluarga
Bila anak mula melangkah ke alam remaja, cabarannya menjadi lebih unik dan kadangkala sukar untuk digambarkan dengan kata-kata.
Dalam episod Pop Family Podcast kali ini, kita akan menyelami "pengorbanan dan realiti sebuah keluarga" yang sebenar, melihat sendiri bagaimana kekuatan kasih sayang menjadi tunjang utama dalam mengharungi liku-liku kehidupan seharian.
We are bringing together the voices that matter most: the perspective of a mother navigating the balance of protection and independence, and the heart of a sister who offers a special kind of lifelong companionship.
Alongside them, expert insights will help us understand the transition into adulthood and how we can better support our loved ones through this stage.
Sama-sama kita saksikan perkongsian yang penuh emosi dan inspirasi ini bersama hos Nina Nadira serta barisan panel jemputan, Auni Nisrina Nabihah, Dr Jochebed Isaacs, dan Sarah Suhaimi. Ini adalah peluang untuk kita semua belajar, memahami, dan memberi sokongan kepada komuniti luar biasa ini.
Don’t miss this heartfelt conversation tonight on Life with Autism: Pengorbanan dan realiti sebuah keluarga at 8 PM across our social platforms.
Jumpa anda malam ini di Pop Family Facebook, YouTube and www.popfamily.my.
#PopFamily #LifeWithAutism #AutismAwareness #KeluargaMalaysia #SpecialNeedsParenting #RealitiKeluarga
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FunTranscript
00:00I take care of him like the third mother because the first is my mom, second is my mate, third
00:06one is...
00:07You're the third mother.
00:08Yeah, I'm the third mother.
00:21Did you know, di Malaysia, jumlah kanak-kanak dengan autism yang berdaftar telah meningkat secara signifikan, mencecah hampir 60,000
00:32setakat Mei 2025.
00:34And there has been more than 600% increase in children diagnosed with autism in Malaysia since 2013 till 2023.
00:44And behind all these numbers, kita ada cerita dalam sebuah keluarga.
00:48Mereka ada story membesarkan dengan seorang ahli keluarga yang mempunyai autism.
00:56Dan today, kita akan dengar daripada salah satu keluarga.
00:59Hi, I'm Nina and this is POP Family Podcast.
01:02And I would like to introduce our special guest for today, akan bersama dengan kami, Puan Sarah Sohaimi.
01:09Hi, Puan Sarah. How are you?
01:10Hi, Nina. Thank you for inviting. I'm fine.
01:13Okay, Puan Sarah adalah seorang ibu, mempunyai tiga orang anak dan anak bungsunya, Khalif, 14 tahun.
01:22Merupakan anak istimewa yang berada di spectrum autism.
01:27Dan bersama dengan Puan Sarah is Awni, Awni Nisrina Nabiha.
01:34Haa, nama dia.
01:3621 years old. Hi, how are you?
01:38Hi, I'm Awni. I'm the eldest one.
01:40Yeah.
01:40The eldest sibling.
01:41Yeah, Awni adalah kakak sulung kepada Khalif.
01:44So, kita nak dengar lah perspektif dia membesar dan mempunyai seorang adik yang ada autism.
01:49And to complete our podcast for today, we have seorang pakar dalam bidang ni.
01:55With over 20 years of experience in the field of autism, Dr. Jo Shabat Isaacs is the director of Early
02:03Autism Project Malaysia,
02:06a leading provider of evidence-based autism intervention programs.
02:11Did I say it right?
02:12Yes. Thank you so much, Nina.
02:13Hi, everyone.
02:14Hi, Dr. Jo.
02:15Hi, Nina. Yes, that'll be easier.
02:17How are you?
02:17I'm good. Thank you.
02:18Hi, Nina. Thanks for having me.
02:20Hi, Fanzara Awni.
02:21Hi, Dr. Jo.
02:22So, hari ini kan, dia bukan sekadar perbualan, tapi adalah ruang untuk kita faham, you know,
02:29what's it like behind all these closed doors, situations tentang kasih sayang, cabaran,
02:36dan realiti membesarkan ataupun bersama dengan adik yang mempunyai autistic.
02:42Especially, bila dia ke Fasa Remaja.
02:44So, my first question is to Puan Sara.
02:48Mungkin you boleh share sedikit latar belakang keluarga you dan macam mana membesar Khalif.
02:54Okay, hi.
02:56Saya Puan Sara Suhaimi.
02:58Saya merupakan ibu kepada tiga orang anak.
03:00Dan ni anak sulung saya, Awni.
03:03Dan Khalif merupakan anak yang bongsu sekali.
03:07Berumur 14 tahun lah di dalam spektrum autism.
03:11So, soalan tadi, macam mana?
03:13Macam mana? Mungkin ibu dia start.
03:15Okay, let's start with awal dulu.
03:18Macam mana you dapat tahu and how was the situation like you dengan Awni?
03:25Okay.
03:26So, basically, bila kita dah ada tiga orang anak lah eh.
03:30Kita dah ada Awni, dan adik dia, dan Khalif.
03:33So, yang dua tu, dua orang tu perempuan.
03:36So, dapat Khalif.
03:37Boy.
03:38Last one, boy.
03:39Jadi, kita nampaklah perbezaan daripada segi kenapa tak ada eye contact.
03:45Okay.
03:45Kenapa?
03:45Masa tu umur berapa?
03:46Masa tu dalam setahun lebih.
03:47Haa.
03:48Dia cuma ada bunyi, mumbling.
03:52Tapi, dia tak ada words yang coming up from dia punya mulut lah.
03:57Jadi, kita orang ingat macam, bila tanya mak ayah lah.
04:00Mak zaman tu, kita, of course, kita bukan ada.
04:02Kita tanyalah, parents kan.
04:04Alah, kenapa eh?
04:05Khalif ni tak cakap lagi.
04:06So, parents akan macam diorang punya ni, oh, budak lelaki.
04:10Lampak cakap.
04:11Kecil lagi.
04:12So, kita biarlah.
04:13Kita biarlah.
04:14Kita biarlah.
04:14Tapi, as a mother, of course, kita ada gut feeling that something is wrong with him.
04:19Sebab, dia tak sebut perkataan.
04:22So, I thought, that time, I thought dia pekak.
04:25I thought dia pekak.
04:27Sebab, bila kita panggil, dia tak toleh.
04:29Dia tak react lah.
04:30Yes, dia tak react.
04:31Jadi, kita ingat, oh lah, budak ni something wrong kot.
04:33Tapi, bila dia tengok macam TV, YouTube, dia, dia, kira dia respon.
04:42Dia melompat.
04:43Cuma, dia tak react.
04:45Bila kita sebut nama dia lah.
04:47So, benda tu lah.
04:48Eye contact tu lah.
04:49Benda tu lah yang slowly, kita dah notice lah sikit-sikit-sikit-sikit.
04:53Until one day, my cousin datang visit lah.
04:58So, dia cakap dekat, I, I think you have to bawa anak you pergi jumpa doktor.
05:03Sikit, kenapa nak bawa jumpa dia doktor?
05:05Dia sehat je.
05:06I think, dia lambat cakap kan.
05:09I think you kena bawa.
05:10Tapi, dia tak nak cakap.
05:11Dia tahu.
05:12Eye tak tahu.
05:13Eye tak tahu apa tu autism.
05:15I see.
05:15Eye tak tahu, tak pernah dengar kan.
05:16Yelah, dulu-dulu kurang sikit awareness dia.
05:19Dia tahu.
05:21Cuma, dia cakap kat eye.
05:22I think you should bring him to a specialist lah.
05:25So, masa tu, eye dah macam tak sedar hati.
05:27Kenapa dia suruh aku bawa?
05:28So, itulah start dia.
05:30I see.
05:31Dan, Eye ni, mungkin you boleh share sedikit lah.
05:33Macam mana family dynamic you?
05:35Bila you ada adik yang ada autistic ni, how is it like?
05:40Well, hi.
05:41I'm Auni.
05:42I'm the eldest again.
05:43Yeah.
05:43So, basically, me and Khalif, it's not like a typical siblings relationship, you know.
05:51Sometimes, I feel like I'm a sister, a protector.
05:55And sometimes, I feel like I'm the third mother.
05:58Yeah.
05:58And then, but somehow, he actually shaped me to who I am today.
06:05Like, I'm more, he taught me how to be more patient, feel more empathy.
06:11And, yeah.
06:14You are, basically, Khalif is very close to you lah.
06:17Yes, Khalif is very close.
06:18Mungkin you boleh share sedikit, apa perangan Khalif yang you suka, yang you rasa macam,
06:25he is special, that orang lain mungkin tak dapat benda ni.
06:29Oh, so, actually, it's very hard for us to like, we don't actually communicate like how others do.
06:40True.
06:41But, how he share his love to me, like, the way he always, like, wants me, cling on me.
06:48I think that's one of the ways that, like, I feel like it's, no one could actually understand it.
06:55Only us, that we know that we have that strong connection between each other.
06:59I think that's the bond that we have since, because I've been taking care of him since birth.
07:06So, I, I know my ways and he, we just have that chemistry.
07:13Yeah.
07:13I think it's good that Khalif ada sisters.
07:15Yeah.
07:16Betul, mungkin Puan Sarah boleh share sedikit lah, bila you ada anak-anak you juga membantu,
07:23membesarkan Khalif ni.
07:24So, bila kita dapat tahu dia ada treat autism semua, jadi memang doktor pun cakap benda pertama,
07:32oh, you have to get your family involved.
07:35Kalau yang kita, parents ni supaya tak burn out lah.
07:39Jadi, kakak pun kena tolong.
07:40Maksudnya, bukan tolong apa, tolong bersembang dengan adik tu.
07:44Betul.
07:44Tolong masukkan dia dalam, you know, dalam perbualan, main dengan dia, main lah.
07:50Banyak kan, I suruh diorang main dengan dia.
07:53Jadi, nampak lah daripada situ, daripada dia, you know, alone, main dengan jari dia.
07:59So, diorang start lah tarik dia, jom main kejar-kejar.
08:02So, dia participate lah.
08:03Itu yang I buat lah masa awal-awal supaya, sebab I faham journey ni bukan untuk I seorang je.
08:09Journey ni involve semua dalam keluarga.
08:12So, basically, itu yang I buat lah awal-awal.
08:14Kalau nak ikutkan beza dia dulu dengan sekarang ni, macam mana progression Khalif?
08:19Okay, of course, kecil cabaran dia lain.
08:23Betul.
08:24Okay, cabaran dia sangat lain.
08:25Tapi, bila dia semakin membesar, semakin dia dah jadi remaja, cabaran dia lain pula.
08:30Sebab, dia dah balik.
08:32Betul.
08:32Dia pun macam remaja-remaja yang lain.
08:35Rebel.
08:35Dia dah masuk ke apa, fasa remaja pula.
08:38Ya, fasa remaja rebel yang kalau macam dulu zaman dia yang rebel tu, okay.
08:43So, mungkin lah marah, tutup pintu kuat-kuat.
08:47Dia pun rebel macam tu juga.
08:48Tapi, dengan cara dia lah.
08:50Dengan cara dia yang lain sikit lah.
08:52I see.
08:53And, let's go to Dr. Ju.
08:55Okay.
08:55So, orang pakar dalam bidang ni.
08:57From your perspective, how does an autism evolve lah?
09:03From dia orang kecil and up to teenager.
09:06Maybe you can share with us.
09:07Yeah, I think, I mean, just beautiful what Aouni and Puan Sarah shared.
09:12And I think that's so, you know, such a wonderful insight view of as a family going through it.
09:18But I think, you know, if we look at adolescence, even for typically developing children, it's a tricky period, right?
09:26The puberty and all of that.
09:27There's body changes, hormonal changes, physical changes, emotional changes.
09:32And I think the most challenging part of that stage of life is that the children are no longer children.
09:37But neither are they adults yet.
09:40So, they are like, you know, sometimes, and this is like just neurotypical children, some days they feel so mature
09:47and they want to behave like adults.
09:48And then some days, they are like children again and have like a meltdown.
09:52Then what more children on the autism spectrum who may physically be growing older, their body is changing, all of
09:59that.
10:00But then mentally and emotionally, some children on the spectrum may have that developmental gap.
10:06So, in their mind, they may be much younger.
10:09So, then they're trying to navigate these almost like hormonal, physical changes, but still emotionally be very much more younger,
10:18maybe a little bit less mature socially and all of that.
10:22So, I think it can be challenging in the areas of bullying, in the areas of understanding the changes in
10:28their body, things like personal space, what's appropriate.
10:33You know, like some of our children on the spectrum love to get hugs and cuddles.
10:37And suddenly, as they get bigger, it's not so appropriate.
10:41So, some of those are some of the challenges.
10:43But what we try to do is we try to teach our students to navigate through that.
10:48Maybe you can share with us your experience.
10:52You know, you have all these students, right?
10:53Maybe you can share for those young, mungkin tak tahu.
10:56Yeah, sure.
10:56Maybe you can just share.
10:58So, one of the things that we feel is very important is with autism being a spectrum, you will have
11:04some children that have maybe what we say less autism, some have more autism, some are fluent talkers, some are
11:10less fluent, and some are nonverbal.
11:12Autism Speaks research shows about 30% of the autism spectrum are actually nonverbal.
11:17But that does not mean that they are not able to learn and are able to understand.
11:22So, we as the professionals, as the psychologists, as the therapists, teachers, and family, it's our role to then try
11:28to communicate to them in a way that they understand.
11:31So, maybe we can use like visual, social stories.
11:35So, actually, we, EAP turns 20 years this year, but we have a non-profit called The Hope Project.
11:42And through our non-profit, we actually released 30 series, free series on YouTube of like training for parents and
11:50teachers.
11:51And the 30th series is actually on puberty.
11:54So, we actually have a guide there and like downloadable that parents can use of how to explain the body
12:01changes, maybe some of those.
12:03We teach our students a concept called personal space.
12:07Personal space just means that you need to have like maybe one arm's length from somebody.
12:12So, not overly friendly or to protect children from any kind of abuse as well.
12:17We also teach children about public and private.
12:19You know, some kids, I'm not sure if Caliph is similar, but sometimes when they come out of the bathroom,
12:24they don't realize that they have to change their clothes inside the bathroom.
12:27And if we think about it, when they were small, it was okay, right?
12:30You just take off your clothes, you just walk around, but suddenly you're like 13 years old and 14 years
12:35old.
12:35Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, stay inside the bathroom.
12:37So, we have to use visuals that keep your clothes on.
12:40You don't leave the bathroom until you're fully dressed.
12:42And another simple concept called circle of friends.
12:45So, that just means that the circles, the people that are in the most inner circle that you can cuddle
12:52with, you can follow, you can be so close to, that's your family.
12:56Then outside that circle, maybe it's the teachers, the relatives, because you also have strangers, they belong outside the circle.
13:03So, in the circle, it's actually like this little like rug here.
13:08It's like circles from inside to outside.
13:10So, those that are in the closest circle, they are the ones that are allowed to do some of these
13:15things like hugging, being very close.
13:17But strangers would be outside.
13:19So, you don't hug them, you don't touch them, you don't.
13:22So, there's just some kind of guidelines and rules that help our teenagers navigate through some of this that might
13:29be a bit blur for them.
13:31And from that, right, from all these trainings and classes, I would say, how was the progress like?
13:39For the students?
13:41Yeah.
13:41So, quite a few of them will learn these concepts very well.
13:44So, I just give you like an example of one of our students.
13:48He came to us about 11 years old.
13:50And when he came at that time, he had some aggression, but he had some inappropriate behavior.
13:55So, if he sees a pretty girl, like let's say, like yourself, you, Annie, just touch the, like stroke the
14:02cheek.
14:03Which, okay, if you're a teacher, it's okay.
14:05But if you're a stranger or if you're someone else's girlfriend in public, it's a big problem.
14:10I see.
14:10You get what I mean?
14:11So, then what we did is we actually used a visual to teach him that from here, the neck, I
14:17think here to here, we call it red light.
14:20So, red light meaning you don't look, you don't touch, just as a kind of a rule.
14:25But if you see somebody, you can give them high five.
14:27So, what is appropriate and what is not?
14:29So, at first, he would kind of look under girl's skirt or like just not, not intentionally, but kind of
14:34playful, curious.
14:35But then as you get bigger, it's, you can get into trouble, especially outside.
14:40So, he almost got into a few fights with people's, you know, girl's boyfriend, all of that.
14:44But, you know, he learned so quickly that concept and he will come to the center and he would, he
14:50would suddenly do like this.
14:51Hi, Teacher Jo.
14:52How are you, Teacher Jo?
14:53Like, because he doesn't want to look under.
14:55She's like, hello.
14:56I'm good, right?
14:57I'm good listening.
14:58I was like, you're so good.
15:00I tell you, that boy is now this big.
15:02He's bigger than, like, seriously tall.
15:04Bigger than you.
15:05Bigger than me.
15:05And I'm taller as well, but he's taller.
15:08He could take me out.
15:09Like, he could, if he wanted to punch me, do anything.
15:12Anytime.
15:12He's so gentle.
15:13He's so gentle.
15:14I'm so glad we met him at 11 because he just responded and all those behaviors.
15:20He had, like, a long list of things he had to work through.
15:22Maybe, like, 20 plus things.
15:24But he responded so well, so well, so well.
15:27And we try to give him so much attention for all the effort he's making.
15:31So we say, we're so proud of you.
15:33You're doing so well.
15:35Loves to tell jokes.
15:36You know, other things.
15:37Because I think he was doing it to get attention.
15:39But it was inappropriate.
15:41Yeah.
15:41Especially going through, like, teenage phase, kan?
15:45You know, all these.
15:46We have all these boundaries.
15:47Yes.
15:47When they're starting to have puberty.
15:49So I think, Puan Sarah, you mungkin boleh share lah macam the shift yang you ada sebelum ini
15:57dengan sekarang ini mungkin berbeza.
15:59Mungkin itu adalah satu cabaran untuk you menyesuaikan diri dengan Khalif yang remaja sekarang.
16:07Betul tak?
16:07Betul.
16:08Saya setuju sebenarnya bila Dr. Joe cakap tadi yang pasal personal pain, semua-semua, kan?
16:14So Khalif ni memang daripada kanak-kanak tu ke remaja.
16:19Dia memang menghadapi pasal akhir balik tu.
16:22Dia dah start berminat nak pegang.
16:25Curious lah.
16:26Curious lah.
16:26Bukan pegang je.
16:28Dia nak peluk budak perempuan.
16:29Jadi ada jugalah beberapa insiden yang tak appropriate, kan?
16:33Jadi menyebabkan saya pun jadi takut, kan?
16:35Jadi of course kita berbalik kepada kita buat story social, kita buat boundary, personal space,
16:43mana yang boleh pegang, mana yang tak boleh pegang.
16:45Even betul juga tadi dalam bila lepas mandi, kena tak boleh lah macam keluar bogell macam,
16:53kena ajar.
16:54Memang benda-benda macam ni, masa kecil tu tak ada masalah.
16:57Tapi bila besar dia jadi problem lah, kan?
17:00Dan saya juga ada satu insiden, saya nak cerita juga.
17:03Ada satu insiden di mana masa tu kecil lagi lah.
17:06Tapi dia mandi dekat luar dengan keadaan tu dan tiba-tiba dia lompat pagar lari.
17:12Jadi you just imagine kalau besar kita tak ajar, kan?
17:15Daripada tu.
17:16So untuk Khalif ni kan, saya memang ajak lah pasal personal space, kakak dia.
17:21Even dekat rumah pun, saya ajar kakak dia sebab dia baru mengalami, orang kata tak faham.
17:26Kau nak faham benda tu.
17:28Saya cakap kat dia orang, pakai proper, jangan pakai seks-seksi, apa semua.
17:32Sebab dia tak faham.
17:33Nanti korang marah pula, cakap.
17:35Jadi saya ajar anak-anak saya perempuan supaya diorang pun aware benda-benda macam ni
17:40supaya adik tu tak ada masalah lah, kan?
17:42Jadi, tapi Khalif ni, sekarang ni dia dah fasa lain pula.
17:46Mula fasa tu, dia nak peluk perempuan semua.
17:49Jadi dia dah tahulah personal space.
17:50Nasib baik ada satu kartun tu yang ajar personal space.
17:53So duduk tengok kartun tu, okay, this is my personal space, I cannot touch you.
17:56Oh, so dia guna latar tu.
17:57Ya, term still, dia dah pandai lah.
17:59Tapi sekarang ni fasa dia pula, di mana dia tak nak kita peluk dia.
18:03Oh.
18:03Okay, please.
18:04No hugging, I'm not comfortable.
18:07So serious lah.
18:07Ya, dia dah jadi serious lah.
18:09Sebab sebelum ni, dia boleh macam peluk-peluk kita, cium-cium kita.
18:12Macam budak-budak, kanak-kanak.
18:14Tiba-tiba, ni baru berlaku juga.
18:16Dia di fasa di mana, mommy go away.
18:18I don't feel comfortable.
18:21Dia pula, dia pula cakap, oh, I don't feel comfortable.
18:25Please go away.
18:27So, kita as a parent, kita duk ingat dia sebagai, you know, yang comel.
18:33Baby.
18:33Yang macam baby.
18:34Tiba-tiba dia berubah.
18:35Sebab diorang kan perangai diorang macam budak-budak.
18:38So, kita tak nampak sebenarnya bila diorang masuk remaja tu,
18:41kita still nampak dia macam dia budak-budak lah tu.
18:43So, ya.
18:45Tapi bagusnya, sekarang ni apa yang berlaku, saya minta kebenaran dia.
18:49Can I help you?
18:50Oh, no.
18:51Kalau dia kata no tu, I kena hormat lah.
18:54Sebab diorang ni kan macam sangat, maksudnya kalau dia kata no is no lah.
18:58Jadi, kalau dia kata yes, boleh, okay.
19:01Jadi, bagus juga kot.
19:02Sebab saya rasa dia faham yes and no.
19:06Dan, like as a parent, dia kan meningkat remaja.
19:10Saya pun risau juga dia, dia tiba-tiba peluk perempuan lain ke apa-apa kan.
19:15Sebab benda tu akan memberikan, you know, impact pula nanti dekat orang yang tak faham.
19:20So, let's talk about bila anak-anak yang ada autistik ni,
19:25dia juga dia punya meltdown series.
19:28Betul tak?
19:29So, mungkin kurang awareness daripada situ,
19:32orang mungkin tak faham sepenuhnya meltdown ni.
19:35Dan macam mana benda tu boleh trigger.
19:37Maybe I can ask Dr. Jo dulu.
19:40Betul?
19:40How does this meltdown can trigger?
19:44Yeah, like what triggers the meltdown?
19:46What triggers them?
19:47Yeah, I think, I mean, every child is so different.
19:51But I think the way we see behaviour,
19:54all behaviours are like a form of communication.
19:57So, maybe it's sensory related,
20:01maybe they are frustrated,
20:02maybe they don't understand what is happening.
20:04But when the meltdown is happening publicly,
20:07it is already like, you know, reactive.
20:10Any strategy yang kita kena apply,
20:12semua adalah strategy reactive,
20:14just to de-escalate it.
20:16Like, okay, let's all calm down.
20:17And then, so if we're asking what public should do,
20:20I think number one is,
20:22tolong jangan ambil phone record lah.
20:23Please don't do that.
20:24Please don't go and judge people,
20:26or like, you know, point fingers and all of that.
20:28I think as parents and siblings,
20:31I think we often advise,
20:32if you are in public,
20:33you see somebody struggling,
20:35you can ask, do you need any help?
20:37Do you need me to call for someone?
20:38Yeah, assistance.
20:39If they say, no, we've got this,
20:40then just give them some space.
20:42That would be like,
20:43that would be publicly.
20:44But I feel really as,
20:47as I guess a professional doing this job on psychology,
20:51what we hope,
20:52like really berharap untuk semua rakyat Malaysia,
20:56like that has a family with autism,
20:58a child with autism,
20:59is that kita boleh belajar
21:01prinsip-prinsip yang proactive, preventative.
21:05So that means before we go to the mall,
21:07we prepare for the trip
21:09to prevent this kind of behaviours.
21:11So in our work,
21:12we find if we don't prepare,
21:14we will spend 90% of our energy
21:17dealing with the reactive.
21:18But if we prepare them,
21:20set them up,
21:21like Puan Sarah said,
21:21the social story,
21:22tell them what is going to happen,
21:24tell them this is,
21:25this is how we are going to expect.
21:28So there might be sounds,
21:29yeah, an advance,
21:30advance notice.
21:30You have your noise cancellation headphone,
21:32you want a break,
21:33you can ask,
21:34you want the ice cream,
21:35we will get it after.
21:36So you just give them some heads up.
21:38Just like what we,
21:39if we put ourselves in the shoe,
21:41imagine if pandemic,
21:43masa pandemic dulu,
21:44how many of us feel like
21:45having tantrum or so?
21:46We don't know how to go out,
21:48we don't know how to go out,
21:49we don't know how to go out.
21:49So we also like,
21:50ah,
21:51we don't know how to go out.
21:53So imagine for a child with autism,
21:55mereka pun is actually the same
21:56because we are not telling them
21:58what is going to happen.
21:59So then we are just bringing them here,
22:01bringing them there,
22:01hoping they will understand.
22:03Tapi what if they don't understand?
22:04Then they get frustrated.
22:05So if we can communicate to them,
22:07prepare them,
22:08and also kita kena ajar dia juga,
22:10ajar dia to become flexible,
22:12to cope with changes,
22:14to cope with accepting no.
22:17And I think those are some of the tips
22:19that we would say,
22:20try to prevent.
22:20We have a series called,
22:22I believe it's called community trips,
22:24like to prepare to go to cinema,
22:26to prepare to go to the hospital,
22:27the doctor,
22:28all of it can be actually very successful.
22:30So some of our children previously,
22:33most of them have difficulty with hair cutting,
22:35tantrums with hair cutting,
22:37partly because,
22:37imagine if nobody told me
22:39how to get a haircut.
22:40Tibu-tibu, you go there,
22:41they put this thing around you,
22:42the sound,
22:44hair dryer sound,
22:45shaver sound.
22:46We, if we don't know what's happening,
22:47we might also scream.
22:48But if we teach our children,
22:50then it can be very successful.
22:52Same with going on an aeroplane.
22:53If we don't tell the children
22:54what's going to happen,
22:55your ears,
22:56the sound,
22:57then they might have a tantrum on the plane.
22:59But if we teach them,
23:00I would say for hair cutting and plane,
23:03it's almost 100% success.
23:04We can teach almost all of our children,
23:07even those who are non-verbal,
23:09how to go successfully for that.
23:12So that would be our tip.
23:14Prevention is better than reactive.
23:16But if you're already in the situation,
23:18you try to just de-escalate,
23:20try to calm down,
23:21try to go to the car,
23:22take a break.
23:23Now there's a lot of shopping malls,
23:24have sensory rooms,
23:26just to kind of like,
23:27take it easy a little bit
23:28and then try to communicate
23:30what does the child want.
23:31And maybe Puan Sarah boleh share
23:34ataupun Auni,
23:35is there any stories
23:36yang you boleh share dengan kita
23:38apabila trigger-nya meltdown ni,
23:41Khalif?
23:42Is there anything yang
23:45mungkin you take part in
23:46apabila Khalif ni ada trigger?
23:48What do you do?
23:50Okay, I share dululah eh.
23:52So basically betul,
23:53I setuju sangat dengan Dr. Jo.
23:55Prevention is very important,
23:56especially untuk autism kid.
23:58Diorang ni sebenarnya
24:01kalau ada schedule,
24:03tahu apa akan berlaku,
24:05tak ada problem.
24:06Dia masalah,
24:07dia tiba-tiba tukar root ke,
24:09tukar plan ke,
24:11itu problem.
24:12Itu tak boleh.
24:12Jadi saya,
24:13dengan anak saya pun sama.
24:14Jadi dengan anak saya memang
24:15daripada kecil,
24:16saya akan buat social story.
24:19Dan saya tak akan berjanji dengan dia.
24:21Janji pun akan menyebabkan,
24:23kalau tidak ditepati,
24:24akan menyebabkan meltdown yang teruk.
24:26Jadi kalau kita janjilah,
24:27okay,
24:28mommy,
24:29let's go to,
24:29dia suka pergi,
24:31apa,
24:32hotel kat mana tu?
24:33Kat Penang kan?
24:34Dia suka pergi,
24:36bukan like,
24:36Golden,
24:37Golden Sun.
24:38Tak ingat lah,
24:39satu lagi,
24:39next.
24:39Park Royal.
24:40Park Royal.
24:41I also like that.
24:43That's a very nice.
24:44Yeah,
24:45dia suka pergi Park Royal.
24:46So dia akan cakap,
24:47okay,
24:48bila nak pergi ni?
24:48So kita pun bagi date.
24:50Oh my God.
24:51Katalah,
24:51kita bagi hari satu bulan.
24:5330 hari bulan.
24:54So tiap hari,
24:55mommy,
24:56are we going to this date?
24:58The countdown lah.
24:59The countdown lah.
25:00So saya belajar satu benda,
25:02lagi dua hari atau sehari,
25:03nak pergi baru bagitahu.
25:04That's really good,
25:05yeah.
25:05Tak boleh,
25:06kalau tiga hari saya jadi stress.
25:08Dia seronok,
25:09saya yang stress.
25:10Sebab,
25:11dia macam,
25:12kita dah bagitahu,
25:13akan pergi.
25:14Tapi dia nak reassurance tu.
25:16Macam.
25:17Pernah ke macam,
25:18one time you promise,
25:19tapi benda tu,
25:20you tak boleh nak,
25:21you know,
25:22tak boleh nak deliver.
25:23Tak boleh nak deliver.
25:24And then,
25:25you know,
25:26he starts to question ke,
25:28dia marah ke.
25:29Awal-awal dulu,
25:30dia tendril meltdown semualah.
25:32Tapi dah lama-lama ni,
25:34kita bagi dia reasoning.
25:36Okay,
25:36you know what?
25:37Sekarang ni,
25:38dekat Penang tengah hujan.
25:40Ataupun dekat Penang ni,
25:41tengah cuti sekolah.
25:42Ramai budak-budak.
25:43Kadang-kadang,
25:44plan ni kita,
25:46macam hari tu,
25:46ada sekali tu,
25:47tengah hujan.
25:48Jadi,
25:48kalau kita nak pergi Penang pun,
25:50tak seronok juga.
25:50Nak main,
25:51nak mandi,
25:52hujan.
25:52So,
25:53I tunjuk dia video tengah hujan.
25:55So,
25:55you know,
25:56if we go now,
25:57you will not enjoy.
25:59So,
25:59can we wait for the season to over first,
26:01then we go?
26:02Jadi,
26:03kenalah bagi dia sini,
26:04tapi,
26:05okay,
26:06dia faham.
26:06Dia tanyalah,
26:07okay,
26:07bila?
26:08Oh,
26:08what's next?
26:09Okay,
26:10when is the next date?
26:12Itulah.
26:13Jadi,
26:13agak,
26:14bila dia dah pandai,
26:15dia agak kat situ,
26:17nak berjanji tu date pula.
26:19Tapi,
26:19awal-awal dulu memang agak susah lah,
26:21bila rutin change.
26:23Kita pun tak pandai sangat.
26:24Parents yang baru tahu anak autism,
26:27semua kan.
26:27Jadi,
26:27apa yang I buat,
26:28kalau macam pergi,
26:30pergi shopping mall,
26:32I tak pergi time pick hours.
26:33I pergi,
26:34lagi setengah jam nak tutup.
26:36Ya.
26:36You dah faham dah macam mana,
26:38okay,
26:38kalau nak pergi,
26:38timing ni better.
26:39Ya,
26:40sebab I pun kena belajar juga,
26:41I tak boleh kurung dekat rumah.
26:43Ya.
26:43So,
26:43I kena belajar macam mana nak I handle dia dekat public.
26:46So,
26:46I ajar diri,
26:47okay,
26:47kita pergi 30 minit ni nak tutup.
26:49So,
26:49kita tahu macam mana,
26:50oh,
26:51lepas ni tak boleh dah.
26:52Lepas ni macam ni,
26:52lepas ni macam ni.
26:53So,
26:54awal-awal dulu,
26:55masa nak bawa dia public places,
26:56kita orang memang time-time,
26:59peak hours tak pernah pergi.
27:00Dan kita nak tutup lah.
27:01Tapi,
27:02untuk Auni,
27:03anak-anak yang lain,
27:04I ajar dia macam,
27:06kejar adik lah.
27:07Oh,
27:08Auni memang lah.
27:08Tukar eksport shoelah every time.
27:10Tidaknya,
27:10dia orang.
27:11Yang macam masa tu,
27:12yang ibu ada cakap pasal,
27:14kali mandi telanjang dia.
27:16Oh,
27:16yang dia lompat pagar tu.
27:17Lompat pagar tu.
27:18Lepas tu,
27:18you lah.
27:18Saya yang nak.
27:20Terpaksalah.
27:21So,
27:22memang agak,
27:23benda-benda macam ni kan,
27:24even kalau macam kita bawa dia pergi public places ke apa kan,
27:27I memang suruh anak-anak I stand by.
27:29Sebab kadang-kadang,
27:30kita tak boleh macam enjoy sangat sampai,
27:33dia nampak normal apa semua.
27:36The minute kalau kita,
27:37kita terlepas pandang lah,
27:39every,
27:40banyak benda boleh belakang.
27:41I see.
27:42So, kadang-kadang,
27:44orang kata,
27:46tapi I selalu buat macam ni lah.
27:47Kalau I bawa dia,
27:48I bawa dia je.
27:50You faham tak?
27:50I bawa dia orang juga,
27:52tapi I beritahu dia orang,
27:52okay,
27:53kita mungkin lah tak pergi shopping mall apa,
27:54tapi kita akan bawa you kemudian.
27:57Because I want the quality time with them.
27:59Sebab kadang-kadang,
28:00bila bawa adik,
28:01dia orang tak akan dapat that quality time.
28:03Because semua mata.
28:04Sebab you fokus.
28:05Kena fokus.
28:06Fokus dekat dia.
28:07Tapi untuk,
28:08untuk dia orang juga.
28:09Because I have to care.
28:10Seadil lah juga kan,
28:11untuk yang lain.
28:12So,
28:12saya kata tak apa,
28:13we will go next time,
28:14untuk you je.
28:15That's nice.
28:16So,
28:16kena buat macam tu lah.
28:17That's nice lah.
28:17You are the bahagi.
28:19There's time with Khalif,
28:20and also time with the rest of the siblings.
28:24So,
28:24yeah,
28:25like just now,
28:26the question,
28:26about sensory,
28:27right?
28:28Yeah.
28:28So,
28:29Khalif has a very,
28:30like,
28:31sensitive sensory towards,
28:33like,
28:33sound,
28:34and,
28:34like,
28:35noises,
28:35you know.
28:36So,
28:36there's this one time,
28:38me and my best friend,
28:39my best friend also has,
28:43autistic brother.
28:44Oh,
28:44brother.
28:44Yeah.
28:45So,
28:45we share a lot of things in common.
28:47Yeah.
28:48So,
28:49we decided to make,
28:50like,
28:50a date where,
28:52she bring her brother,
28:54and I bring my brother to the cinema.
28:56So,
28:57okay,
28:57so,
28:58the downside is,
29:00I forgot to tell my brother,
29:01like,
29:02early.
29:02Social story tak de?
29:04Yes.
29:05I was away.
29:05Social story tak bagitahu.
29:06Tak bagitahu.
29:07I was away that time.
29:08Yeah.
29:09My bad.
29:10No predictability lah.
29:12Yes.
29:12So,
29:13I told him,
29:14kind of,
29:14last minute,
29:16yeah,
29:16on,
29:17like,
29:18let's go to the cinema.
29:19But then,
29:20it was just me and him.
29:22So,
29:22I've never done this before.
29:23Oh,
29:23it was your first time.
29:24It was my first time bringing him out,
29:26alone.
29:27Yeah,
29:27just us two.
29:28So,
29:29at first,
29:30it was okay.
29:31During the ride,
29:32I was driving,
29:33he was fine.
29:34He was fine.
29:34But when we got to the cinema,
29:37got into the cinema,
29:39with all the popcorn and all,
29:41and then,
29:41just a few minutes,
29:43he just,
29:44he wanted to leave already.
29:45He was like,
29:45screaming and like,
29:46Is it because of the noise?
29:48Yes.
29:49I think it is.
29:49Lapa kuat.
29:50Yes.
29:50I think it's because of that too.
29:52And then,
29:53yeah,
29:54tak habis pun the movie,
29:56we already like,
29:57went out.
29:59Kami dah pernah bawa dah,
30:00dia pergi cinema.
30:01It was a success lah.
30:02So,
30:03she thought that,
30:04you know,
30:04okay,
30:05let's do it again.
30:06Tapi,
30:06she forgot to,
30:08terlepas lah.
30:09The social story tu,
30:11dia lupa.
30:11Sebab adik tu,
30:12tak boleh macam,
30:13eh,
30:13Joy,
30:13kita tengok sekarang lah.
30:14Tak boleh spontaneous.
30:16So,
30:16at least one or two days,
30:18you kena remind him,
30:19you know,
30:19we are going to this place.
30:21Tapi,
30:21akan ada bunyi yang bising.
30:23Dia tak sempat nak prepare.
30:25So,
30:26of course lah.
30:26Then,
30:27she call me,
30:27ibu.
30:28Ngadu lah.
30:30Khalif tak nak tengok.
30:31Diorang nak tengok.
30:32Diorang nak tengok movie tu.
30:33Yeah.
30:35So,
30:36itulah,
30:37I cakap kat dia,
30:37okay,
30:38lepas ni.
30:38So,
30:39it's a lesson lah.
30:40Lesson lah.
30:41So,
30:41dia dah tahu dah.
30:42I see.
30:43And,
30:43Auni kan,
30:44sebagai seorang kakak lah.
30:46How is it like,
30:47ataupun,
30:48adakah ada situasi di mana
30:49you perlu nak explain
30:51dekat kawan-kawan you,
30:52oh,
30:52sorry,
30:53adik saya ke,
30:54I don't know.
30:54Was there any
30:55situations like that?
30:56Actually,
30:57numbers of times also.
30:59Yeah.
30:59Sometimes like,
31:00I have to like,
31:01cancel my plans last minute
31:02because sometimes my mom's,
31:03mom is away.
31:04So,
31:04I have to be there
31:05to take care of my brother
31:07and all.
31:08So,
31:08yeah,
31:09it's kind of hard for me.
31:10Like,
31:10sometimes I FOMO lah,
31:12feel of missing out,
31:13you know.
31:13But then,
31:13I have to lah,
31:14because of my brother.
31:15So,
31:16yeah,
31:17it's hard to explain to them
31:18because sometimes they get confused,
31:20you know,
31:21autism with,
31:21um,
31:22Down syndrome.
31:24Yeah,
31:24they tend to get confused
31:25but,
31:26I don't know why,
31:26but I will always like,
31:28explain,
31:30explain to them
31:30how,
31:32what is autism.
31:32What is the difference?
31:33Yes,
31:33the difference,
31:34like,
31:34what is it about?
31:36And,
31:37yeah,
31:38eventually,
31:39they understand lah.
31:40They understand that
31:41I have a unique brother,
31:44special one.
31:45So,
31:45yeah,
31:45but then,
31:46it's very interesting
31:47because,
31:48like,
31:48after I tell them about that,
31:50um,
31:51they will know that,
31:54like,
31:54autism,
31:54like,
31:55oh,
31:55yeah,
31:55autism is,
31:56they have,
31:56like,
31:57something special,
31:58you know.
31:58They have,
31:59like,
31:59talent,
31:59like,
32:00gifted.
32:00They are very gifted.
32:01Like,
32:01my brother is so gifted
32:03with,
32:03like,
32:04like,
32:05meds.
32:05Like,
32:06you can just,
32:06like,
32:07direct,
32:08like,
32:08okay,
32:08ask him,
32:09like,
32:10number,
32:10like,
32:11yeah,
32:11exactly.
32:12They can,
32:13like,
32:13just,
32:13like,
32:14immediately respond.
32:15Like,
32:15I,
32:15I couldn't,
32:16I,
32:16I need my calculator
32:18beside me.
32:19Yeah,
32:19that's the thing.
32:20Yeah,
32:20and,
32:21um,
32:21he's also very good,
32:22you know,
32:23when,
32:23like,
32:23I play him,
32:25like,
32:25some songs or whatnot,
32:27he can immediately
32:29just play the piano
32:30by just listening
32:31to the music.
32:33And,
32:33that's,
32:33that's really impressive lah.
32:35I,
32:35I will always flex that
32:36to my friends,
32:37by the way.
32:38That's nice.
32:38Yeah,
32:38I'm so proud of him.
32:40That's nice lah,
32:40Khalif,
32:41to have a sister like you,
32:42though.
32:43And,
32:43uh,
32:44was there any,
32:45like,
32:45responsibilities that you had
32:46yang mungkin orang umur you
32:48tak tahu pun
32:49and tak pernah experience lagi,
32:51um,
32:52having such a sibling
32:53with autistic ni?
32:55Well,
32:55actually,
32:56yeah,
32:57since I was young,
32:58I already,
32:59uh,
33:00be ajar untuk,
33:01like,
33:02mandikan dia,
33:04basuh dia punya,
33:05like,
33:06toilet.
33:07Took care of him.
33:07Took care of him lah,
33:08actually.
33:09Yeah,
33:10makan semua,
33:10I cook for him.
33:13Everything lah,
33:14I take care of him,
33:15like,
33:16like,
33:16the third mother,
33:17because the first is my mom,
33:19second is my maid,
33:20third one is,
33:21you're the third mother.
33:22Yeah,
33:22the third mother.
33:24Yeah.
33:24Because Khalif,
33:25they're very close,
33:25close to,
33:26what,
33:27I,
33:27very close with me lah,
33:28tapi second one,
33:29very close with my helper,
33:30my helper has been with me
33:31around,
33:32yeah,
33:3218 years.
33:33Wow.
33:34Like my grandma.
33:35Oh,
33:36that's nice.
33:37Jadi,
33:37memang close to her
33:38and then,
33:39of course,
33:39other siblings lah.
33:41Yeah.
33:41But I'm glad lah,
33:42because of the support,
33:43support that,
33:44jadi I tak burn out,
33:45so on and so on.
33:45Yeah,
33:46it's very important
33:46to other support system.
33:48Betul.
33:48At least you,
33:51especially Ponsara lah,
33:52you tak keseorangan dalam ni.
33:53Mungkin ada sebab lah,
33:55kita ada AUNI kan.
33:57Ceria,
33:57dia penceria lah.
33:59So,
33:59I suka dia orang punya bonding tau,
34:01sebenarnya.
34:01Macam Khalif ni kan,
34:02kalau dia tengok je kakak dia balik,
34:04dia terlupa luk.
34:05Excited.
34:06I miss you.
34:07Macam tu,
34:08terlupa luk cium.
34:09And then,
34:09dia akan start buka
34:10kartun kegemaran dia
34:11dan dia akan paksa
34:14siapa yang ada kat rumah lah,
34:16selalu AUNI lah,
34:16mangsa.
34:17Untuk tengok sampai habis
34:19dan gelak bersama-sama dia.
34:21Alah.
34:22So,
34:22macam ada part-part yang dia suka,
34:24dia gelak,
34:24dia kecil.
34:24Kakak.
34:25Dia kena kelak juga.
34:25Dia kena rasa kakak dia gelak-gelak siap.
34:28Ya.
34:28Tengok lah.
34:29Ya,
34:29dia akan tengok,
34:30dia akan tunggu.
34:31Bila nak gelak?
34:31Macam tu.
34:33Dia ada
34:35moment-moment yang
34:36orang lain mungkin tak experience dia.
34:38Tapi,
34:38you experience that at home lah.
34:41And,
34:41speaking of lah,
34:42taking care of Kali,
34:43pernah tak you rasa macam
34:44Puan Sarah,
34:45especially,
34:46you rasa that you're not enough
34:48ataupun ada benda yang you rasa,
34:51rasa bersalah ke
34:52atau satu yang
34:53you tak puas lagi?
34:55Betul.
34:56Masa early age lah.
34:57Masa early age,
34:58kita detect dia.
34:59Of course,
35:00perasaan bersalah
35:01yang kita,
35:01kita question lah.
35:03Why me?
35:04What did I do wrong?
35:05Betul tak?
35:06Jadi,
35:06apa yang kita buat?
35:07Makan ke?
35:08Kenapa?
35:08And then,
35:09of course,
35:09orang sekeliling pun,
35:10you salahkan diri.
35:11Keluarga kan?
35:12Keluarga pun tanya.
35:13Masa mengandung,
35:14makan apa?
35:15You know all that question kan?
35:17Kita pun terpalit lah dengan,
35:20terkesan lah dengan question tu.
35:22Sebab kita pun tak tahu
35:22apa salah kita buat.
35:24Jadi,
35:24antara awal-awal tu,
35:27mostly question
35:28because apa yang I buat
35:30yang I dapat dia
35:31sampai dia jadi macam tu.
35:33Tapi,
35:33of course,
35:34bila kita dah faham,
35:36kita pergi belajar,
35:37kita faham,
35:38it's not our fault.
35:40So,
35:40kita dah move on.
35:41Okay lah.
35:42Lepas,
35:42tapi bila dia dah besar,
35:44lain pula.
35:45Sebab,
35:46dia ada fasa-fasa,
35:48saya tengok eh,
35:48Khalif ni.
35:49Dia boleh jadi macam
35:50regression.
35:52Kan,
35:52bila dia pergi teenager,
35:54dia regress.
35:55Kita rasa apa yang kita dah buat
35:56selama ni,
35:57bertahun-tahun,
35:58duit yang kita dah habis ni,
35:59macam jadi kosong balik.
36:00Ada juga.
36:01Jadi,
36:01benda-benda macam ni
36:02yang I selalu question.
36:03Apa lagi benda
36:04yang I tak buat,
36:05yang I patut buat.
36:07Itu yang kadang-kadang.
36:08Tapi,
36:09jawapan dia selalu,
36:11we will never know.
36:12We just have to
36:13go through
36:15fasa ni.
36:16Itu je lah.
36:16Yeah.
36:17I want to ask Dr. Joe,
36:20what can you say about
36:21the biggest challenges
36:23autistic,
36:24especially teenagers,
36:26when it comes to
36:26identity,
36:28friendships,
36:29and,
36:30you know,
36:30having that independence
36:31towards themselves?
36:33Yeah,
36:33I think,
36:34you know,
36:34again,
36:35with the spectrum
36:35and the developmental age,
36:37you know,
36:37that whole part of independence,
36:39let's say,
36:39for example,
36:40having a phone.
36:40Right.
36:41If the teenager
36:44with autism
36:45might be 14 years old,
36:4615 years old,
36:47physically,
36:48but maybe developmentally,
36:506 years old,
36:517 or 8 or 9,
36:52they don't have
36:53the maturity
36:54to navigate
36:56some of the challenges
36:58on the phone.
36:59So,
36:59I think that's where
37:00some things like that,
37:01it's difficult
37:02to be fully independent
37:04on their own.
37:05I mean,
37:05even teenagers
37:06who are 14,
37:0615 should also
37:07have their parents,
37:08especially like things
37:08like social media
37:09and all,
37:10even at 18,
37:1021,
37:11it's not so easy
37:12to navigate.
37:13Even as adults,
37:13it's difficult for us.
37:14Sometimes we get bullied
37:15or we may feel
37:16compared and all.
37:17So,
37:17that's like more
37:18the online world.
37:19But let's say,
37:20for example,
37:20it could be
37:21self-help skills.
37:22So,
37:23I think just looking
37:23at the whole spectrum,
37:25depending on where
37:26the child is on the spectrum,
37:27where the teenager is.
37:28So,
37:28if they are much more affected,
37:30maybe the phone
37:30is not the issue.
37:31Maybe it's just
37:32taking care of themselves,
37:33dressing,
37:34changing,
37:35in that sense
37:35of independence,
37:36right?
37:36Self-care.
37:37But maybe if they are
37:38much more verbal
37:40and fluent,
37:41it's navigating
37:42through social situations
37:43like crushes
37:46and are people sincere
37:48and cliques
37:49and bullying.
37:50So,
37:50I think it is not
37:52an easy stage
37:54to go through,
37:55but I think having
37:56wonderful families,
37:58supportive family,
38:00supportive teachers
38:01that can help
38:02navigate through that.
38:03So,
38:04for example,
38:04with some of our students,
38:06we worked with them
38:06at the start,
38:07we were their therapists.
38:08Then we supported them
38:09in school.
38:10So,
38:10we were like
38:11their shadow for school.
38:12Then we faded back
38:13and now we become
38:14like their buddy.
38:15So,
38:15then we're talking
38:16through,
38:16you know,
38:17things like
38:17one of my students
38:19whom I started
38:19working with
38:19from three years old,
38:20he was like,
38:21he did not believe me
38:22when I said,
38:23I know how to
38:24help you get a girlfriend.
38:26Like,
38:27literally,
38:27it was that kind.
38:28And he's like,
38:28are you sure
38:28this will work?
38:29And I said,
38:30buddy,
38:31I am older than you.
38:32He asked you that?
38:33Are you sure this will work?
38:34I'm older than you.
38:35Secondly,
38:36I'm a girl.
38:36I can tell you
38:37what won't work.
38:38I said,
38:38what you're currently doing,
38:40that's not going to work.
38:40I said,
38:41it might accidentally
38:42creep somebody out.
38:43It might accidentally
38:44make it seem like
38:45you're too much
38:46or what they don't understand.
38:47I think those are the,
38:48it's difficult,
38:49right?
38:49Even for typically
38:50developing teenagers,
38:51it's difficult
38:52how to understand
38:53and navigate
38:53some of that
38:55boundaries,
38:55friendships.
38:56And I think,
38:57I mean,
38:58and I'll just end with this.
38:59I think the challenge
39:00is also that the world
39:01we live in
39:01is not the kindest.
39:03And I think
39:04as a teacher
39:05or as a parent,
39:07you want to let,
39:08let them go
39:09and you want to be
39:09more releasing.
39:10But at the same time,
39:11the community
39:12may not be the safest.
39:14And even recently,
39:15sadly,
39:16we've had some of our
39:16young adults
39:17with autism
39:18actually be scammed online
39:20because they believed
39:21somebody they met online
39:23and because they are
39:24so sincere,
39:25they thought the person
39:26was also sincere.
39:27And you know,
39:27you've got catfishing,
39:28you've got all kinds
39:29of horrible people
39:30that know that
39:32this is a vulnerable person
39:33and took advantage
39:34of that.
39:35So it is challenging
39:37and I would say
39:37that caregivers,
39:38whether it's families,
39:39siblings,
39:40wonderful siblings,
39:41parents,
39:42teachers,
39:42we still need to be
39:43quite involved now.
39:44Yeah.
39:44To be that kind of like
39:47eyes and protector
39:48and supporting them,
39:50giving,
39:50but like I love how
39:51like Puan Sarah said,
39:51you're also asking
39:52their permission.
39:53So it's not like,
39:54you're not like,
39:54like they're five years
39:56old anymore.
39:56So you're still,
39:57you're treating them
39:58like they're grown up.
40:00You're respecting them,
40:00you're respecting their
40:01personal space,
40:02their choices.
40:03But at the same time,
40:03hey buddy,
40:04when it comes to this area,
40:05let me,
40:06let me guide you on this,
40:07you know.
40:08Yeah.
40:08I want to ask Aouni lah,
40:10what has been the hardest
40:12part for you tengok,
40:13Khalif,
40:14especially going through
40:16teenage years?
40:18So,
40:19especially teenage years,
40:22well,
40:23like recently lah,
40:25I feel like,
40:26I feel more
40:27far away from him.
40:30Yeah.
40:30What was it?
40:31Because of how he,
40:33he,
40:33he has been protecting
40:34his space a lot recently.
40:37So,
40:38I,
40:40yeah,
40:40it's actually quite hard for me.
40:41I'm kind of worried
40:42about him right now.
40:44But,
40:44Is there an approach
40:45for you
40:46bila you nak pergi
40:47dekat dia kan?
40:48Yeah,
40:48I will always ask
40:49for permission like
40:50my mom.
40:51I have to because
40:52you,
40:52you never know
40:53what's next,
40:54you know,
40:54what's going to happen
40:55because,
40:57he's quite aggressive,
40:59a little bit
40:59aggressive lately.
41:00So,
41:01I'm quite afraid of him.
41:03Like,
41:04You're trying to understand.
41:05Yes,
41:05I'm trying to understand.
41:06The teenage Khalif.
41:07Yes,
41:08but,
41:08it's quite hard
41:09because like,
41:10I'm used to
41:11the old Khalif,
41:12you know,
41:12like how he's so sweet,
41:14gentle and like,
41:14you know,
41:15clingy.
41:15You pun sendiri
41:16tengah menyesuaikan
41:18Yes,
41:19yes.
41:20Having teenage Khalif ni.
41:21Yeah.
41:22I saw in
41:23Puan Sarah punya Instagram,
41:24you've mentioned that
41:26bila Khalif teenager ni,
41:29you banyak nangis sikit lah.
41:31Mungkin,
41:32you boleh share lah sikit.
41:33Sebab,
41:33badannya makin besar kan?
41:35Badan makin besar.
41:36And I say pula makin mengeci.
41:38So,
41:39basically,
41:40kadang-kadang bila
41:41kita ni pula
41:42menekan-nekan dia.
41:43Macam,
41:44nak peluk dia ke,
41:45nak cium dia ke,
41:46nak berborak-borak dia,
41:48dia nak mengelak.
41:49Macam,
41:50can you just leave me alone?
41:51I just want to be in my room.
41:54Like a teenager.
41:55Yes,
41:55don't disturb me.
41:56Sampai dia kadang-kadang
41:57kuncikan bilik.
41:58Yes.
41:58Kuncikan bilik tu,
42:00tak nak bagi kita masuk.
42:01Sebab dia kata,
42:02kita kena ketuk.
42:03Like a teenager lah.
42:05So,
42:05it's hard.
42:06Sebenarnya,
42:07we are not ready.
42:08Yes.
42:09We need a social service.
42:10Kita yang nak pension dia.
42:12We are not ready.
42:13Betul.
42:14Kami tak ready.
42:15I tak ready.
42:16Ayah dia tak ready.
42:17Macam,
42:17kenapa tiba-tiba dia berubah?
42:19We are not ready
42:20for that change tau.
42:21Dia macam,
42:22so sudden.
42:22So sudden.
42:24He changed so sudden.
42:25Dia lock himself in the room.
42:27Dia hanya keluar.
42:28Bila dia nak,
42:29dia nak apa-apa.
42:29Kadang-kadang,
42:30you know what he do?
42:32Dia message I.
42:35Ataupun video call I.
42:36Dalam bilik?
42:37Ya.
42:38What?
42:39Ya.
42:40Dia minta apa tau?
42:41Dia minta lah.
42:42Mummy.
42:43Rice and chicken.
42:44I think rice.
42:45Can you order,
42:46grab rice and chicken?
42:47Mary brown.
42:48Mary brown ke apa.
42:49Wow.
42:50Actually,
42:50ya.
42:50Ya,
42:51lepas tu kan,
42:52dia macam,
42:53you know,
42:53we have to ask permission.
42:55What's wrong kan?
42:56Macam kita orang ni macam,
42:58masih nak sayang dia,
43:00nak cium-cium dia,
43:01especially my helper tu,
43:03memanglah suka kadal-kadal dia,
43:05manja kan.
43:05Tapi tiba-tiba dia yang dah manja tu berubah.
43:08Yang apa kita nak dekat dengan dia pun,
43:11kena minta permission.
43:12So it's a bit hard for us.
43:13Dan bila kita menekan dia,
43:14maksudnya,
43:15kita nak,
43:16dia marah lah.
43:17Yalah.
43:17Do you?
43:18Dia rasa macam kita tak faham
43:20yang dia perlukan dia punya space.
43:21Dan kita orang ni pula,
43:23tak nak bagi space.
43:24So dia menekan kat situ lah.
43:26So I rasa macam,
43:27you know,
43:28where is my baby?
43:29Macam tu lah.
43:30Rasa macam rindulah yang lama tu.
43:32Yang jenis macam,
43:33everything share,
43:34talkative.
43:34Kan dia suka cakap-cakap.
43:36Dulu dia suka share-share.
43:37Sekarang ni dia,
43:38macam like a normal teenager.
43:40Ya.
43:40Memang kan?
43:41Sounds like it.
43:41Sounds like a teenager.
43:42So,
43:43tu lah.
43:44Tapi usually dia dekat bilik tu,
43:46dia buat apa?
43:47Dia layan diri,
43:47seorang-seorang main tengok.
43:48Dia memang,
43:50dia suka editing video.
43:53Dia loves editing video.
43:53Dia buat video,
43:56lepas tu dia akan
43:57upload dalam YouTube.
44:01He makes his own music,
44:03his own beats,
44:04you know.
44:05Yeah.
44:05Using just handphone,
44:07you know.
44:07Now we,
44:08like,
44:09people need to use
44:10those DJ set and whatnot.
44:12He just use the phone.
44:13Wow.
44:13He used to have like
44:1520,000 subscriber in YouTube,
44:17you know.
44:18And suddenly,
44:19all gone.
44:20Because,
44:21comment dia banyak
44:23bergaduh dalam comment.
44:25Oh no.
44:26So,
44:27itu kelakar jugalah,
44:28kan.
44:28Macam,
44:29macam kenapa you nak
44:30bergaduh-gaduh,
44:31tapi I nampak dia banyak
44:32communicate through.
44:34Tapi kadang-kadang,
44:34it can be a good thing,
44:35but it can be a bad thing.
44:36Yeah, downside.
44:37Because of the,
44:38you know,
44:39dia tak faham,
44:40apa semua.
44:40Dia jadi bullying,
44:41as he said lah.
44:42Dia jadi perkataan yang
44:43bully-bully lah.
44:45Dia kata,
44:46this boy is crazy.
44:47You know,
44:48sometimes,
44:49it's negative lah.
44:51But I'm glad,
44:52they don't understand.
44:52I'm glad that
44:53YouTube suspended
44:54his account lah.
44:55Because of,
44:57you know,
44:57mungkin dia ada letak video
44:58yang incorporate ke apa ke,
45:00kan.
45:00I tak tahu.
45:00Tapi,
45:01at least,
45:02tak adalah benda-benda tu
45:04yang dia bergaduh-gaduh
45:05dengan YouTubers lain.
45:06When was this?
45:08I think,
45:09year ago lah.
45:10baru.
45:10Dia baru juga lah.
45:11Yeah,
45:12actually.
45:12Tapi,
45:13dia macam tak give up.
45:14Dia masih editing,
45:15upload.
45:16Dia bukan taste lah.
45:17Tapi tak apa lah.
45:17Let him,
45:18you know,
45:18explore dia punya
45:19creativity lah.
45:20In his own ways.
45:22Tapi,
45:23as kita,
45:24kalau kita bagi dia
45:25explore pun,
45:26tapi kena ada
45:27budak-budak macam ni.
45:28Pantau lah.
45:29Budak-budak macam
45:30saya perasan,
45:32kalau kita tak control,
45:33especially IT and gadget,
45:35dia akan jadi,
45:37dia akan jadi orang tu,
45:38bahaya pun ada juga.
45:40So,
45:40you have to control.
45:41Must monitor.
45:42Yeah,
45:42must monitor and control.
45:44Tapi,
45:44Kalim ni bijak.
45:45I letak lah apa tu.
45:47Parental control.
45:47Parental control.
45:48Dia boleh.
45:49Dia boleh letak air at.
45:51So good.
45:53I dah pening dah.
45:53Restricted mode,
45:54dia off restricted mode.
45:55Dia tahu macam mana
45:57nak reset phone dia
46:00kepada factory setting.
46:03So, macam mana?
46:04So, benda-benda macam ni.
46:06So, apa yang I buat,
46:08solution yang I buat,
46:09yang I nampak lah.
46:10Dia kena ada
46:11aktiviti lah.
46:11Dia tak boleh dibiarkan
46:13duduk di rumah sahaja.
46:14So, dia kena pergi sekolah.
46:16That's what's very important for me.
46:18Pastikan dia pergi sekolah.
46:19Sebab,
46:19ada aktiviti
46:20supaya dia tak
46:21dia punya mind
46:23asik phone je.
46:25Ya, betul.
46:27Dan sekarang ni,
46:28kita berkata
46:29tentang Kalim
46:30yang sekarang ni teenager kan.
46:32Maybe,
46:33apa you will be a preparation
46:35di masa depan
46:36ataupun
46:39Kalim lah.
46:40Let's look forward sekejap.
46:43So,
46:44saya rasa
46:44of course lah
46:46as a parent kan,
46:47benda yang kita risau
46:48bila kita dah tak ada.
46:49Itu yang paling kita risau lah
46:51apa akan jadi dengan dia.
46:53You know,
46:54siapa yang akan
46:57jaga dia.
46:58Macam mana cost
47:00kehidupan dia kelak.
47:02So,
47:02Alhamdulillah lah
47:03saya ada
47:03two beautiful girls
47:05yang
47:05saya dah
47:06ajar daripada
47:07kecil kan.
47:08Adik dia macam mana.
47:10Hopefully,
47:10apa-apa jadi
47:11diorang adalah.
47:12InsyaAllah,
47:13insyaAllah.
47:14Me,
47:15I'm really
47:16scared lah
47:17because
47:18the world is not
47:19getting
47:20much nicer,
47:22getting scarier
47:23day by day.
47:24I really hope that
47:25the world can
47:26treat.
47:27Be kinder.
47:28Be kinder
47:29to him
47:29and like
47:30understand
47:31and I hope
47:32with a lot
47:33of awareness,
47:34you know,
47:34people
47:36can understand
47:37what's
47:37autism
47:38and like
47:39accept them
47:39for who
47:40they are,
47:41you know.
47:41But
47:42penting
47:42juga
47:43walaupun
47:43kita
47:44ada
47:44macam
47:45anak
47:45yang
47:45lain,
47:46kita
47:46kena
47:47ada
47:47ibu
47:48bapa
47:48yang ada
47:48anak
47:48autistic,
47:49yang ada
47:49anak
47:50special lah.
47:50Kita
47:51tak
47:51boleh put
47:51all the
47:52burden
47:52to them lah.
47:53It's not
47:53fair.
47:54They will have
47:54their own
47:55family,
47:55betul tak?
47:56They will
47:56have their
47:57own
47:57husband.
47:58So,
47:58I have
47:59to prepare
47:59all that.
48:00So,
48:00that means
48:00I memang
48:01dalam kepala
48:02ni saya fikir
48:02macam mana
48:03tanpa akan
48:04membebankan
48:04dia orang
48:05satu hari
48:05kelak.
48:06So,
48:07daripada
48:07sekarang
48:08sebenarnya
48:09of course
48:10preparing
48:10them
48:11one day
48:12tapi
48:12of course
48:13juga
48:13preparing
48:14my fun.
48:15Fun tu
48:15kena ada.
48:16Tak boleh
48:17nanti
48:18eh kalau tak
48:18ada
48:19dia orang lah
48:19pula ni
48:20because
48:20of
48:21dia orang
48:21life dia orang.
48:22Basically,
48:23you sentiasa
48:24memikirkan.
48:25Ya,
48:25sentiasa
48:26memikirkan.
48:26The future,
48:27yeah.
48:27You're planning
48:27for the future.
48:28The fun,
48:29the caregiver,
48:31you know,
48:31the school,
48:33semua memang
48:33sentiasa fikir
48:34and we have
48:35to start
48:35from now
48:36masa dia orang
48:37kecil,
48:37bukan bila
48:38dah terlewat,
48:39tak boleh.
48:40So good.
48:41And I would
48:42like to ask Dr. Jo lah,
48:43is Malaysia
48:45actually doing
48:45enough in terms
48:46of the awareness
48:47of autism ni?
48:49Well,
48:49I think
48:50compared to
48:5020 years ago,
48:52definitely
48:52so much more
48:53awareness.
48:54You know,
48:55even in the
48:55private sector
48:57and all,
48:58there's so many
48:58more campaigns
49:00sensory rooms,
49:01all of that.
49:02But I think
49:02there's more
49:03that we can do.
49:05I do feel like
49:06I wish we had
49:07like a national
49:08health campaign
49:10about the
49:11science of
49:11autism
49:12so that every
49:13new mother,
49:14sort of like how
49:15when we became
49:16moms,
49:16we learn how
49:17to breastfeed,
49:18we learn how
49:18to, you know,
49:19naturally,
49:20all of that,
49:21monitor the
49:21milestones.
49:22I feel like
49:22it's become,
49:23the numbers
49:24are so high,
49:25right?
49:26The prevalence
49:26is so high now
49:27compared to
49:28before,
49:29that everyone
49:30should know
49:31what to look
49:32for in their
49:34child,
49:34should know
49:35how to help
49:35their child,
49:36should know
49:36how to monitor.
49:37and I feel
49:38like especially
49:40even advice
49:41around screen
49:42time,
49:42like that
49:43children below
49:44one year old,
49:45for example,
49:46should not have
49:46two years old
49:47now,
49:47they're saying.
49:48So you should
49:48not even have
49:49any screen time.
49:52how to engage.
49:54I think that's
49:54the part where
49:55I think many,
49:57I mean,
49:57KL,
49:58I think we have
49:58more awareness.
49:59But like,
50:00my husband is
50:01from Kuala Terengganu,
50:02I feel they
50:03don't have
50:03any awareness.
50:04I saw a little
50:05kid in Kuala Terengganu
50:06with the plastic
50:07bag over the head.
50:08So actually,
50:09that one,
50:09I was like,
50:09excuse me,
50:10your son,
50:10you cannot do this.
50:12I was like,
50:12huh,
50:12plastic bag pun
50:13mereka tak tahu
50:14yang tak boleh pakai.
50:15So I was like,
50:16imagine what more
50:17the autism
50:18and all that.
50:19And then I feel
50:20like the other part
50:21is in the area
50:21of services.
50:23So of course,
50:23therapy and all that
50:24is costly
50:25and many families
50:26cannot afford it.
50:27So I think in the
50:28public government sector,
50:30maybe we can
50:30definitely have
50:31many more options.
50:32But at least
50:33similar to that
50:34example of
50:35empowering mothers
50:36of how to
50:37bring up your own child.
50:38We all know,
50:39we didn't know
50:40how to be mothers,
50:41but then we
50:41had our baby,
50:42then we learned
50:43how to do everything.
50:44Breastfeed,
50:45changing,
50:45all of that.
50:46Imagine if all mothers
50:47and fathers and siblings
50:48knew the basics
50:50of how to
50:51communicate with a
50:52child with autism,
50:53how to teach
50:53a child with autism
50:55to listen,
50:55how to teach them
50:56to go to toilet.
50:57Just really,
50:58really basic things
50:59that parents don't,
51:00yeah,
51:01parents don't have
51:01to wait.
51:02Waiting list,
51:03diagnosis,
51:04therapy in their
51:04house,
51:05straight away.
51:06Yeah,
51:06they can help.
51:07Yeah,
51:07that's why we
51:08created these videos
51:09because anyone
51:10watching,
51:11like we get,
51:11we get messages
51:12all the time.
51:13I taught my child
51:13how to speak 60
51:14words from your video.
51:15So for us,
51:16we are so happy
51:17because they don't
51:18have to wait for anything,
51:19they don't have to pay anything.
51:20They just watch the video,
51:21they just did it at home
51:22on their own.
51:23So I feel there's a lot
51:25more that can be done
51:26and hopefully we will see
51:28even more changes
51:28in the next 5 years,
51:3010 years
51:30so that every child
51:31can receive services
51:34or at least
51:34every family
51:35can be empowered.
51:36I nak tambah sikit
51:38yang Dr. cakap tadi,
51:39I setuju sangat
51:40sebab as a parent,
51:42kita tak boleh
51:44maksudnya
51:46semua harapkan
51:47EIP,
51:48harapkan
51:49teacher,
51:50harapkan
51:50orang lain.
51:51Sebab masa
51:52Khalif kecil,
51:54so apa yang berlaku is
51:55saya duduk Ipoh.
51:56Jadi banyakkan
51:57centre ni semua kat KL.
51:59Betul.
51:59Kat Ipoh tak banyak tau.
52:00Jadi I have to go to KL
52:02untuk belajar.
52:04Tapi masa tu Khalif
52:05susah nak bawa pergi sana,
52:06bawa pergi sini.
52:07Kan dia macam
52:08hyper apa semua.
52:09So apa saya buat?
52:10Saya pergi belajar
52:10dan saya bawa balik ilmu tu,
52:12saya ajar dia di rumah.
52:13Itu pun cara untuk
52:16cepatkan progress dia
52:17sebab
52:18masa saya
52:19waiting list
52:20untuk speech therapy
52:21is like
52:21one or two months.
52:23So macam mana?
52:24Betul.
52:25Memang of course
52:25benda tu free
52:26apa semua kan?
52:27Kalau nak
52:29cepat
52:30kenalah bayar.
52:31Bayar satu sesi pun
52:32can go up to
52:33200 per session.
52:34So kalau tak ada duit
52:35macam mana?
52:36So itu yang pentingnya
52:37pada saya lah
52:38as a parent
52:39kalau you baru tahu
52:40anak you ada
52:41trait of autism
52:43of course
52:44sekarang dah banyak tempat
52:46tapi
52:46kalau
52:47you hantar je
52:49tapi you tak
52:49take part
52:50dia tak akan cepat.
52:51So you kena
52:52hantar
52:53you belajar
52:54and you buat juga
52:55you punya
52:56part dekat rumah.
52:58Sebab itu yang berlaku
52:59pada saya lah
53:00macam mana
53:00Khalif boleh cepat
53:01cakap apa semua
53:02sebab saya take part
53:04daripada
53:04awal jenis dia
53:06saya resign
53:07saya memang
53:08pergi belajar
53:09fokus
53:09ya
53:10saya memang fokus
53:11belajar
53:12duduk dengan dia
53:14ada table time
53:15ada waktu-waktu
53:16sebab takkan
53:17nak hantar sekolah
53:18sampai malam kan
53:18so of course
53:19kita ada ni
53:20so memang
53:20kena buat
53:21daripada
53:22awal lah
53:22and I believe that
53:24early intervention
53:25is very important
53:27I memang
53:28believe that
53:29the earlier
53:29you start
53:30lagi senang
53:32you nak
53:32dapat
53:33nak
53:33orang kata apa
53:35nak handle dia
53:36nak manage
53:37dia punya behaviour
53:38kalau you baru
53:38sedar
53:39you in denial
53:40umur 8 tahun
53:41baru you nak hantar
53:42oh I think that
53:44itu baru 8 tahun
53:46dia pergi 12-13
53:47dia dah jadi
53:48teenager rebel
53:49ingat dia nak ikut you
53:50tak nak
53:51so early
53:53yes
53:53early intervention
53:54is very very important
53:55the moment
53:56you
53:57you tahu
53:58anak you
53:59something wrong
54:00dalam masa 1 year
54:01cepat-cepat
54:01jangan in denial
54:03lama-lama
54:03nak menangis-nangis lah
54:04I pun menangis
54:05minggu 2
54:05and then after that
54:06you just have to go through
54:07benda tu
54:08yes
54:08you have to do something lah
54:09takkan you nak menangis
54:10lama-lamanya kan
54:11but ramai juga
54:12parents yang I jumpa
54:13dia kata
54:15takpelah
54:15tak cukup duit
54:16apa semua
54:17duit boleh cari
54:18seriously
54:19tapi
54:20to get
54:21you know
54:22masa tu
54:22the masa
54:23golden is called
54:23golden window right
54:24that masa
54:25masa emas
54:26golden window
54:27when they're below 5
54:28when they're below 5
54:29easy to manage
54:31sekarang kalau you instruct
54:32dia bagi instruction
54:33dia marah je
54:34dia pukul you
54:35macam mana
54:35so it's very hard
54:37to manage dah
54:38so golden window
54:39yes
54:40agree with you doctor
54:41mesti jaga
54:43sebab ada sampai
54:43satu tahap
54:44dia dah tak boleh handle dah
54:45yeah
54:45absolutely
54:46kita dah dekat
54:48penghujung dah
54:49podcast ni
54:49tapi I just want
54:50to know
54:51your
54:51message lah
54:53ataupun
54:54from each and
54:55every one of you
54:56masing-masing
54:57different kan
54:57but let's start with
54:58Aouni lah
54:59you sebagai seorang
55:01kakak
55:01ataupun
55:02apa advice
55:03you
55:04kepada kakak-kakak yang lain
55:05yang ada adik
55:06yang ada
55:07autistic ni
55:08well so basically
55:10to all the sisters
55:12out there
55:12elders
55:13youngers
55:14or what not
55:14just be patient lah
55:17handle them with love
55:18and handle them with care lah
55:21that's it lah
55:22Puan Sarah
55:23ada ibu-ibu di luar sana
55:26words of encouragement
55:27yang you boleh bagi
55:28kepada mereka
55:28okay
55:29untuk ibu-ibu di luar sana
55:30especially yang baru tahu
55:32anak you
55:34ada treat autism
55:36so
55:37pada saya
55:39it's okay
55:40you are not alone
55:41it's okay
55:42you are not alone
55:43tapi
55:43jangan in denial
55:45terlalu lama
55:46because once you are
55:47terlalu lama
55:49in denial
55:49then
55:50kesian kat anak tu
55:51sebab kita need to get help
55:53as fast as we can
55:54so that
55:55you know
55:55kita boleh
55:57dia boleh
55:58membesar
55:59dengan baik
56:00kalau
56:01kadang-kadang
56:01mungkin
56:02peringkat awal
56:02dia tak bercakap
56:03macam Khalif dulu
56:04peringkat awal
56:04dia tak bercakap
56:05dia umur 5 tahun
56:06dia dah start bercakap
56:07so
56:07jangan putus harapan
56:09there's a hope
56:10kalau dia tak bercakap
56:11dia non-verbal
56:12he can be a verbal
56:13betul tak
56:14jadi
56:15jangan putus harapan
56:16just get help
56:17jangan putus asa
56:18sebab
56:18pada saya
56:19sekarang ni
56:20you all beruntung sangat
56:21there's a lot of
56:22resources
56:23there's a lot of
56:25help out there
56:26berbanding
56:27kita orang dulu
56:28yang struggle
56:28datang KL
56:29belajar
56:30you know
56:31batah balik
56:31duit banyak habis
56:33and dulu lagi mahal
56:34sebab tak ramai
56:35sekarang
56:35kira-kira banyak
56:37choice lah
56:37ada yang murah
56:38ada yang ni kan
56:39tapi
56:40get help
56:41and insyaAllah lah
56:42I think you will go
56:43you will go through
56:44this phase lah
56:45wow
56:46so good
56:46yeah well
56:49excuse me
56:50for me
56:51I just want to say
56:52you know
56:52that we respect
56:53and honour
56:54Puan Sarah
56:55Auni
56:56your family
56:56and so many
56:57other families
56:58out there
56:58so much
56:59you have sacrificed
57:00so much
57:01there's just
57:01it's really a
57:02long-term journey
57:03and our hope
57:05for every family
57:06out there
57:07is that
57:07you will not
57:08lose yourself
57:09in the process
57:10it's like
57:11you know
57:11the message
57:13the safety message
57:13on an aeroplane
57:14they always advise
57:16apa dia advise
57:17pakai oxygen mask
57:18dulu
57:18baru pakai kepada anak
57:20and so we really
57:22really encourage you
57:23family members
57:24mothers
57:24fathers
57:25to take care of
57:25yourself first
57:26take care of
57:27your marriage as well
57:29and to take care of
57:30your beautiful
57:30other children as well
57:32I know when it comes
57:33to having a child
57:33on the spectrum
57:34it can be
57:35all-consuming
57:36and sometimes
57:37we can forget
57:37about everyone else
57:38including yourselves
57:39but I think
57:41as we saw today
57:42from Puan Sarah
57:42and Auni
57:43and their beautiful family
57:44you've also made it
57:45a point
57:46to make sure
57:47that there's time
57:48together
57:48there's quality time
57:50and it's when
57:50that tank is filled
57:52you have the energy
57:53to take care
57:54of your child
57:55with autism
57:56and so
57:57from us
57:58as you know
57:59staff working
58:00in this field
58:00we have nothing
58:02but respect
58:03for you
58:03and so much
58:04honour for you
58:04and we can only
58:05wish you
58:05the best
58:07and that there
58:08is always hope
58:09and there is always
58:10the best is yet
58:11to come
58:11and that's what
58:12we really hope
58:12and pray for
58:13every family
58:14that your life
58:15will continue
58:15to get more
58:16meaningful
58:17and better
58:18regardless of
58:19this situation
58:19that together
58:20as Puan Sarah
58:21said as well
58:21with support
58:22doing it together
58:23team effort
58:24you can also
58:25enjoy the most
58:27meaningful life
58:28that you have
58:29as a family
58:29so thank you
58:32so much
58:32Puan Sarah
58:33and Dr. Joe
58:34it was very
58:35insightful
58:36really interesting
58:37to hear
58:39what you guys
58:40went through
58:41and then also
58:42informative
58:43things on
58:45autistic
58:46I hope this
58:47podcast brings
58:48more awareness
58:49to the outside
58:50if you are aware
58:51I hope it gives
58:52even more awareness
58:54and thank you
58:56so much
58:56for watching
58:57Puan Family Podcast
58:58I'm Nina
58:59and I'll see you
59:00guys on the
59:01next episode
59:01bye
59:02bye
59:03bye
59:03bye
59:13I'll see you
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