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Coronation Street - Season 67 - Episode 65: Tuesday, 7th April 2026
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00:25You know them rumours about you and your teacher?
00:27Are they true?
00:28That's all they are. Just rumours.
00:30I'll give it a rest will you. I'm sick of everyone banging on about it.
00:36You don't scare me.
00:38Duly noted.
00:40Trying to intimidate me with nasty phone calls.
00:42It won't work.
00:44What are you on about?
00:46Just stay away from me.
00:51He is such a weirdo.
01:00He was such a good dar.
01:03And he knew Eva.
01:06He knew I wasn't his.
01:08Only biologically.
01:10You could say the same about Susie and you're no less of her dad.
01:13You don't think it's important?
01:15I think all that matters is that Alan didn't think it was important.
01:19That my ma cheated on him.
01:21That I was another man's son.
01:24That must have mattered to him.
01:26Look at that smile, will ya?
01:29If that's not a dad's smile, I don't know what is.
01:34Morning.
01:37Listen, son.
01:38I know all this came out in the worst possible way.
01:41Oh, you think there's a good way?
01:43Morning, campers.
01:44Howdy, hi.
01:46If you want to talk about it properly.
01:48I don't want anything to do with you right now.
01:50Just stay out of my way, will ya?
01:53Do you know, I think I might forego the traditional pre-shift brewing bands.
01:57Just get started straight in the bar.
01:59Thanks for being in a minute.
02:17Hey, blimey, what is this?
02:19Cup final day?
02:202-4-1 cocktail hour.
02:22One of my bright ideas.
02:24Well, it's working a treat.
02:25Yeah, well, it would if we had more barman on.
02:27It takes 12 seconds to uncork a bottle of peanuts.
02:30Do you know how long it takes to cut an orange peel into a spiral for an old-fashioned?
02:33A while.
02:36Listen, I am so sorry you ended up piggy in the middle between me and Carl.
02:42Yeah, well, I'm just glad you finally seen the light.
02:47Deb, you alright?
02:51Yeah, yeah, I'm fine.
02:53Oh, let's forget about Carl there.
02:55You don't deserve any of this madness.
02:59Do you know what you are?
03:01To me, you're an invaluable member of my staff.
03:06Stop.
03:06Oh yeah, and I love you.
03:08Right, put me to work.
03:09How can I help?
03:11Well, er, table four are getting a bit antsy,
03:13because I'm not even taking the drinks order yet, so...
03:16Okie dokie.
03:17Pass me a bottle of house champagne.
03:20Oh, yes.
03:21I am going to charm them with my finest hostess skills.
03:28Oh.
03:28Right.
03:29Oh, that's three glasses for a minute.
03:31That's another four minutes to make another one of them, you know.
03:34Four minutes, valuable minutes.
03:37I just need to get me engine roaring.
03:40Right.
03:41Now, where's Raphael?
03:43Raphael!
03:44Erm, do me a favour.
03:45Help Ryan make some cocktails, will you?
03:48And I'll take this over.
03:50Where am I taking it?
03:51Four.
03:52Four.
03:53Table four.
03:55Now then, ladies.
03:58I do apologise for our tardiness.
04:01We're very popular here today.
04:04So, complimentary bottle of champers.
04:08Oh, that's really sweet of you.
04:10I know.
04:10My caries get wet in a couple of weeks, so this is just our little walk-happener to fine-tune
04:14the day.
04:15No men allowed?
04:16No, well, they do tend to hoove the atmosphere, don't they?
04:20I said this place would be a bit of fun, didn't I?
04:22No, you said it had two-for-one cocktails.
04:25Big drinker, are you?
04:27Not especially, no.
04:29Oh, for the other one.
04:32I can spot a good-time girl when I see one.
04:35Ah, here they are.
04:37On the champers already, like your style ladies?
04:39Are you joining as well?
04:41Yay!
04:43Let's get this party started.
04:45Whoop, whoop!
04:46Well, actually, it's a business meeting.
04:49Tracy and I are friends with our host here, so this is just neighbourly bands.
04:54We are so honoured to be doing your flowers.
04:57I've bought all the relevant books so you can have a really good flick.
05:00Will I have another couple of glasses, please, Debbie?
05:03Oh, I shouldn't drink this early in the morning.
05:05Just one, then.
05:06Well, I said shouldn't, not wouldn't.
05:09Not much point organising a wedding if you can't have a bit of fun.
05:13You like a bit of fun, don't you, good-time girl?
05:16Watch out for this one.
05:17She is a live wire.
05:18I'll do that for you.
05:20Hi, you guys.
05:20You all right, ladies?
05:22I'll be your waiter for today.
05:25Debbie, could you check with Raphael about Table 12's order?
05:28Is that right?
05:28Yes, of course I can.
05:30Keep your hands off this one.
05:32It is hot stuff.
05:34And remember, this is a very posh restaurant.
05:38Not Magic Mike.
05:42I know you're nervous.
05:43I'm not nervous.
05:44But when you confront Trisha...
05:47Confront her?
05:48I'm not planning on sliding up to her while she's restocking the Cornettos shouting you violated me.
05:52Don't be so silly.
05:53They'll take away my Fresh Goes loyalty card and I've nearly got enough points for Alton Towers.
05:57I've given up my lunch hour for this.
05:59You're not going to take this seriously.
06:01Plus, she's just been made Employee of the Month which will give her home advantage if the security guards get
06:05involved.
06:06You're babbling.
06:06You always babble when you're nervous.
06:09Now, deep breaths.
06:15Right, I'm going to go in there.
06:17Dead calm.
06:18And I'm going to say...
06:20Can we meet for a drink?
06:22That could be misconstrued.
06:24All right, coffee then.
06:25A chat.
06:26Just to clear things up.
06:29Say it's been playing on your mind.
06:31It's not playing on my mind, is it?
06:32It's playing on yours.
06:33That's why we're here.
06:34Well, I can't make you do it.
06:36We have so far.
06:39Right, I'm going in.
06:54Oh, anybody in?
06:56No, they're at work.
06:58Why?
07:00I've swapped their bin for ours.
07:02Ours had a massive crack in it, so...
07:04Lisa got a brand new one I thought I'd have that.
07:06And they called James Dean a rebel.
07:08Do you think she'll know?
07:10She'd notice if one of these pegs went missing.
07:12Well, they're the same colour.
07:13Yeah, except one's got a massive crack in.
07:16Well, wheels are in motion now, so we'll wait and see, won't we?
07:22Listen, I thought I should mention it, because the atmosphere's going to be très bizarre.
07:26Especially between Maggie and Ben.
07:29So I'd keep it buttoned if I were you.
07:31Keep it buttoned.
07:32Hmm?
07:33Mm-hmm.
07:34Because, you know, Maggie, well, shouldn't strike me as the kind of woman that wants to
07:38be talk at washouts.
07:40Oh, afternoon.
07:42You all right, Petal?
07:43You know, we've just heard that you and Amy are related.
07:46Why do I even waste my breath?
07:49You all right here?
07:51How is everything?
07:52Oh, I do love a good piece of cod.
07:54I went through an obsessive fish finger phase as a child, and mother used to call me Captain
08:00Birdseye.
08:02Do you mind if I sit down for a minute?
08:04Me feet are throbbing in these shoes.
08:07Well, Tracy's just popped to the loo, so...
08:10Oh, the heat in that kitchen.
08:12Honestly.
08:14I'm sweating like a glassblower's bottom.
08:17Well, actually, we were in the middle of...
08:19Mind you, at night time in life, I don't know whether it's a steamy kitchen or a hot flush.
08:26Hot flush.
08:27You know what I'm on about, don't you, eh?
08:30Party girl.
08:33Oh.
08:35Well, I never...
08:36Mmm.
08:37Mmm.
08:38Mmm.
08:38Oh, yeah.
08:39Now, that's nice, that.
08:41That's from our new supplier.
08:43Yeah.
08:44I haven't tried the olives before.
08:45It's lovely.
08:46Mmm.
08:47Mmm.
08:49Yeah.
08:50What is Debbie doing sat at our table?
08:53Don't ask me.
08:54I'm going to go deep in cinemas, please.
08:56Er, Raph, that's table six, mate.
08:59And, er, table two want to re-open their order whenever you get, sir.
09:01Ugh.
09:02That lot put away more tequila than George Clooney.
09:06Well, thanks for your help.
09:07Great customer service.
09:10Mmm.
09:11What you reading?
09:13Oh, I'm just picking a poem for the service.
09:15Yes.
09:16Oh.
09:17I'm not really well up on me poems, me.
09:19I'm a big fan of kid playing myself.
09:21Oh.
09:22Ah, yeah.
09:23I'm not familiar.
09:25No.
09:26Although I do know he makes a...
09:30an exceedingly good cake.
09:33Debbie, can I have my seat back, please?
09:36Oh, Jersey.
09:37I'll tell you what I do like.
09:40I...
09:41I like a dirty limerick.
09:43To you, Mary.
09:45Hey, here's a good one.
09:46There was a young man from Nantucket.
09:50Oh, actually, why don't we have another look-see at the orchid selection?
09:53Just in there.
09:54Oh, Debbie, can I have a little word, please?
09:56Is that all right?
09:56Oh, you can.
09:57Everything all right, ladies?
09:58No, not really.
09:59Oh.
09:59Service isn't quite what we expected.
10:02Oh.
10:02Understatement of the century.
10:03Well, come on, ladies.
10:04We've all had a drink.
10:06I haven't.
10:07And my chips.
10:08They're underdone.
10:09Are they?
10:10Let's have a taste.
10:13Oh, no.
10:15No, they seem fine to me.
10:16They're almost raw.
10:18Well, you must like raw chips, because you've nearly finished them.
10:21I'll tell you what.
10:22I guess you can put it away, can't you, your lass?
10:25You'll have to watch that, you know, with wedding looming.
10:27I've barely touched them.
10:29Oh, give over.
10:31I watched you from to the side of the room, shoveling them away, you were.
10:35Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
10:36Even though they're raw.
10:38I'm surprised you didn't just shove your head back and throw them in.
10:41Oh, that is it.
10:42I've never known such unprofessional behaviour.
10:45We will not be paying, and you can expect a scathing review from all three of us.
10:59What?
11:01What did I say?
11:17I just, just thought I should let you know.
11:20Especially with your heart, I think.
11:22I was just stress.
11:24Hmm.
11:25I know about the condition.
11:27There's me trying to protect you from fighting out, and you've known longer than me.
11:30Oh, Amy mentioned it when her granddad died.
11:33And Steve had to go through the test to see if he had it.
11:36Yeah, I'm having the test.
11:38But here, no need to panic until I get the results, yeah?
11:41Also, I don't want Will fighting out any of this, if he doesn't need to.
11:46With everything he's got going on.
11:48Told you.
11:50You've got such a cool head on your shoulders, you.
11:54Lord knows where you get it from.
12:04Hi.
12:05So you and Amy?
12:06You didn't do anything for me?
12:08Oh.
12:09Oh, it's a good job you found out what you did.
12:11No.
12:12Oh.
12:13That's why Maggie tried to split yous up, innit?
12:15Just keep it to yourself, please.
12:18Hey.
12:19I'm afraid that ship sailed, cock.
12:21Especially with number one, though.
12:22As well as rent a gob on a stick here.
12:24Oi!
12:24We just don't want Will finding out yet.
12:27So, please.
12:28I don't know if that's not how it works round here.
12:30When that cat's out the bag.
12:33We will keep it on the down low, won't we, girls?
12:36Lauren on the DL.
12:39Hey, listen.
12:42Do you think this is a good idea?
12:44Because Ben was a bit weird with me yesterday.
12:46Can you blame him?
12:48Anyway, we're only here to give Amy a bit of backup.
12:50I don't need backup.
12:51Come on.
12:57What can I get you?
12:58A pint, please.
12:59A white wine, please.
13:00Half a lager.
13:03Oh!
13:03Can I hear me?
13:04Out new.
13:06Can I have a word?
13:07Please.
13:08Cuss.
13:17Awkward.
13:18Name an animal that isn't a bird that lays eggs.
13:23This country's doomed.
13:28Hey, what happened?
13:30Oh, she's in Spain.
13:33God, she's absconded.
13:34No, she's on holiday.
13:36Well, you were in there for ages.
13:38I thought I'd do a bit of a shot.
13:39I got you some of them nice hazelnut yogurts that you like.
13:42But how long has she gone for?
13:44Fortnight.
13:45Well, I've waited this long to face it.
13:47A couple more weeks won't make any difference, will it?
13:49Yeah.
13:50Go on.
13:53So, your dad already knit?
13:54Yeah.
13:55He's going to go for the test, so...
13:58Well, I obviously went through it all with my dad, so if you want to talk or whatever, then...
14:05I just don't want things to be awkward between us.
14:07Yeah, same.
14:09I mean, nothing really happened between us, right?
14:12So...
14:12Yeah, no.
14:13I mean, Anna always calls me Pollyanna, because I always look on the bright side.
14:18It's great quality.
14:20And the Pollyanna in me says,
14:24I've got a cool new cousin out of this, and that's a good thing, right?
14:28Yeah.
14:30Guessing the Pollyanna vibe doesn't run in the rest of your family.
14:37Are you all right?
14:39Well, you know, me head's still a bit mashed, but...
14:42At least the kids are being grown up about it.
14:44Oh, and I'm not.
14:45Oh, come on.
14:46It's not both your fault, is it, eh?
14:48I mean, the two of you are in the same boat.
14:50Yeah, I guess so.
14:52And it made grieving his dad a lot more complicated, didn't it, babes?
14:57Having a pint, Ben?
15:00Eva said she told you and all.
15:02Well, she didn't have much choice, did she?
15:04Huh?
15:04After I walked in on you.
15:06How's Maggie?
15:07What a waiter.
15:07Shhh.
15:10And listen, I, er, I had to tell Lauren and Gemma.
15:12I mean, they knew someone was up.
15:15That's fine.
15:16I appreciate you guys keeping this place running.
15:19I mean, we haven't been watching you, have we?
15:22Aw.
15:23Mark.
15:24You do look cosy.
15:25Nice to see you.
15:26You know, keep it in the family now.
15:27Oh, I do one, Lauren.
15:28Look, this is hard enough for me and Amy to digest
15:30without you making snarky comments.
15:33Will you chill out?
15:33I said I was messing.
15:34We're supposed to be mates.
15:36We are mates.
15:36Look, I'm sorry.
15:38What's going on?
15:39It's fine, Dad.
15:40Yeah, as long as she doesn't keep making snarky comments.
15:42I said I was joking.
15:43Listen, you.
15:44If you want to keep your job here, you'll keep your big mouth shut.
15:47Treat us and your customers with a bit of respect.
15:49You got that?
15:54There was absolutely no need for that.
15:56Lauren didn't mean any harm.
15:58I was handling it.
16:05Hey, love.
16:06Have a good day?
16:07Yeah, mooching round town when your skin is much fun.
16:11Weird this morning, though.
16:12Sam came up to me and started shouting at me,
16:15saying that I were intimidating him.
16:16No idea what you were on about.
16:18And when was this intimidation supposed to have happened?
16:21Search me.
16:22He won't make any much sense.
16:23I'll have a word we tell you.
16:25Yeah.
16:25Kid's got a screw loose if you ask me.
16:27I'm going to have a shower.
16:29You should go over there now.
16:30He has enough pressure on him already
16:32without that Sam making it worse.
16:34Yeah, I'll let him have a shower and then get all the details off him.
16:37I don't want to go around there without all the facts.
16:39You do that.
16:40I'll make him some tea.
16:47You all right?
16:49Not really, no.
16:51Why?
16:51What's happened?
16:52Your prank with the bin, that's what's happened.
16:56Lisa's only gone and sacked me from looking after the kid.
16:58What?
16:59She can't do that.
17:00She can.
17:00That nanny-in-job was more casual than washing windscreens on a dual carriageway.
17:06I mean, what am I going to do?
17:07Take her to an employment tribunal?
17:09But I'm...
17:10But that was me.
17:11It wasn't you.
17:12Yeah, I know.
17:13I tried explaining that.
17:15I said you were just messing about.
17:18But when she knew that I knew, well, she went ballistic.
17:21She said she was going to press charges.
17:24Over a bin?
17:25I mean, it's just...
17:28You're kidding me, right?
17:33Of course I'm kidding you, pillock.
17:36I just said I must have mixed them up, you know, when I took the bins in.
17:39You're so easy to wind up.
17:41Clearly.
17:43Right, I am going to go upstairs and get a quick shower.
17:47And you can cook me some tea, you know, for saving your skin.
17:50Listen, I'm meant to be the only prankster in this house.
17:54Yeah, well, there's a new sheriff in town.
17:59No, he's been very withdrawn lately.
18:01Well, can you blame him?
18:03He's bad enough being bullied by a kid, let alone the teacher.
18:06What's going on with you, Sam?
18:07Oh, well, let's see.
18:09Your son's girlfriend has been threatening and harassing him.
18:12She is not his girlfriend.
18:14And that is no reason for Sam to go around screaming at him, making accusations.
18:19Will's the victim in all this.
18:20Oh, what? And Sam isn't?
18:21Let's just all calm down, yeah?
18:24What accusations?
18:25Well, Will said Sam's accusing him of making nasty phone calls.
18:29Threatening him.
18:30Why would he say that?
18:31Well, maybe he has been.
18:33Well, no, he's not, because he would have told me.
18:35Well, no, Sam doesn't lie.
18:36Neither does Will.
18:37He's been lying to you for months.
18:40Right, here's a simple solution.
18:42Keep your son away from Sam.
18:45Yeah, do you know what?
18:45It might be for the best until this Megan situation's sorted.
18:48What?
18:49They go to the same school?
18:52Do you not think this is hard enough without Sam making it worse?
18:56Anything?
18:58Oh, for crying out loud.
18:59And thank you for understanding.
19:04Oh, yes.
19:06Yes, the offer of a free meal still stands.
19:10And I promise I won't be there next time.
19:14Thanks.
19:16Hey.
19:19I thought you were out with Ed.
19:21Er, yeah, he wasn't really in the mood.
19:24You don't have to keep checking up on me, you know.
19:27I just fancied a night in with my missus.
19:33Vino?
19:35Oh, yes, please.
19:38After the day I've had.
19:40I heard what happened.
19:43Ryan!
19:44He's just looking out for you.
19:48So I take it that was the disgruntled Dinah on the phone?
19:52Did the groveling work?
19:54I needn't have bothered.
19:56Tracy got in there first.
20:00Told her all about my dementia.
20:02Oh.
20:03But on the plus side she never mentioned the fact
20:05that I'd been to prison for killing a vicar,
20:07so hopefully we won't get too many bad reviews.
20:12So it all turned out okay?
20:15Oh, yeah, perfect.
20:17Nothing I love more than people talking behind my back,
20:20being pitied by complete strangers.
20:23Deb, this'll all be stress
20:24because of what happened with Carl yesterday.
20:26I said you should take it easy
20:27before you go flinging yourself back into work.
20:29You know, you need to get back to normal first.
20:32Back to normal.
20:36Yeah.
20:38If only a...
20:50Oi!
20:55Get back here!
20:57Get back here!
21:00Get back here!
21:07Get back here!
21:08Get back here!
21:12Sam?
21:14Sam, are we...
21:15Hey, hey, are you alright?
21:16Hey, careful.
21:17Come on.
21:20Hey, what happened?
21:22I tripped.
21:23That's all.
21:25Oh, buddy.
21:26Come on, let's get you inside, yeah?
21:30Let's haste.
21:31More speed.
21:32Or was it the other way around?
21:33Never quite sure.
21:40Come on.
21:41Come on.
21:41Come on.
21:42Take your time, yeah?
21:46Come on.
21:47Come on.
22:05How long have we been waiting for you?
22:08Have found a black MECV comment at me?
22:08And take over Hmm?
22:17This is for all number of people watching.
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