- 14 hours ago
Dog Park - Season 1 - Episode 01: You And Me And The Dog Makes Three
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TVTranscript
00:27It's not my fault
00:30It's just how I came to be
00:32And now I'm old
00:34It's all crashing down on me
00:36I'm tired, expired with all that I've been
00:44I'm a steaming camera
00:46Oh, it's so good
00:49Oh, it's so good
00:50Oh, it's so good
00:51It's so good
00:53No
00:54Oh
00:55Did you see me?
00:57Did you see me?
00:58Did you see me?
01:00Oh, okay, hang on by this side
01:03Yep
01:07Okay
01:09Yes
01:11You want a final, uh, decent coffee before you go?
01:14Yeah
01:16Um, so
01:18Roland
01:21Can't go to the park without Beatty
01:23Oh, yeah, no, I can
01:24I can't run with a dog
01:26Tell that to her
01:27No
01:27No, look at our dog
01:29And tell her you can't jog with her
01:31No, I can't
01:31I'm making you a coffee
01:32If you don't take her when you go jogging
01:34When's she gonna get her walk?
01:35I'll take her after work
01:36No, you won't
01:36No, I won't
01:36I'll take her
01:37Oh, thank you, darling
01:39That's, that's lovely
01:40She won't
01:42And you're great
01:43And you're the adult
01:43She's way more grown up
01:45Please
01:46Running is a single person's pursuit
01:48Okay, like
01:49The whole point
01:50The whole point
01:51To be agreeing to these four weeks
01:52Is to be me
01:53And do all the things that I do
01:54Well, I'm not sleeping in my socks
01:56And I'm not yelling at quiz shows
01:58And I'm
01:59What?
01:59Oh, it's just so specific
02:01What you hate about me
02:03I don't hate anything about you
02:05I was joking
02:06I don't see me laughing
02:07Well, that's on you
02:09You're a sad person
02:10And I feel sorry for you
02:11Maybe give me something to laugh about
02:12Your face
02:14Sorry
02:18I'll walk her, I promise
02:20Thank you
02:23Oh, that's my car
02:26Oh, my God
02:27I can't do this
02:29You can't
02:29I'm going to miss you
02:31So, so, so, so
02:32I don't even know
02:33Just your boss
02:35All right, let's see
02:35Can you grab that?
02:36I'll take the big one
02:37Yeah, here, cool
02:37I might take some of your toast
02:39Have you got the toast
02:40Can I have some of your toast?
02:41What, you don't like the toast?
02:42No, I'm just going to miss you so much
02:43I'm going to hold on to toast
02:44The whole time
02:48I'll miss you so much
03:00Well, I've been looking around
03:07With some kind of feeling
03:08Some kind of sensation
03:11And you know
03:12I can feel it all inside
03:15I don't care where you've been
03:17And I don't care to see
03:18What you're saying
03:19Don't you know
03:20I will be dying
03:24To be by your side
03:28Oh, don't go now
03:50Fuck's sake
03:59Excuse me
04:00Excuse me
04:02Is this your dog?
04:04Um, yes
04:04He's just done a poop
04:06Are you sure it was her?
04:07Yes
04:08I watched the whole thing come out
04:10Do you have a poop bag?
04:12Uh, no
04:14It's poop
04:15Not poop
04:16You've got one, dear
04:17Thanks
04:23How old are you, little man?
04:25I don't know
04:26You're a little lady
04:27Did your daddy forget to put your lead on?
04:31Does daddy know that this isn't an off-leash area?
04:34Daddy didn't see any signs
04:36There are signs
04:37And plus, there's a ranger today
04:39So
04:40Just a neighbourly warning
04:42Okay, well thank you so much
04:43You really
04:44Really made a difference
04:46Uh, thanks
04:48Come on
04:49Oh, by the way
04:50It's, uh, and or plus
04:52There's no point saying
04:54Both of them
04:55Because they mean the same thing
05:01Come on
05:02This way
05:03No, there we go
05:13No, there we go
05:44It's not the same book
05:47I don't
05:50I don't know how to answer that
05:54So how's your more interesting significant author?
05:57Dead, actually
05:58She died
05:59That's terrible news
06:01Yeah, so maybe just let me grieve
06:04Maybe we could grieve together over dinner
06:07Just you and me
06:21Here lies Odette
06:22A beloved mother
06:24A business guru
06:25A brilliant, beloved hair designer
06:29Who worked with the best stylists around the world
06:31And donated half her fortune to the poor
06:34She's survived by her three adoring children
06:36Flight, Sabre and Willow
06:40Great
06:42It's a, it's a big gravestone
06:44It's pretty huge, I guess
06:46Am I going to get marked on this?
06:48No
06:49Why did you make me write it?
06:51Uh, well
06:52It
06:53How did it feel to write it?
06:55Weird
06:57But did it help clarify how
06:59It was just weird
07:00My marks are good
07:03I'm probably going to be in the top 5%
07:05Not bragging
07:06Just
07:06And, uh, did you hear back from that contact I sent you?
07:09Got an interview next week
07:11Bam!
07:12Great
07:12Which I'm deeply thankful for
07:16Great
07:16Well
07:17Sounds like you don't need me anymore
07:27Is there
07:29Something else you want to talk about?
07:31I guess I just
07:33Want to know if I'm doing the right thing
07:38Right, you mean
07:39I mean
07:40I'm a people person
07:41I really need to be around people
07:45Uh, and
07:48I guess I woke up in a
07:50A panic
07:52Last night
07:54About being stuck in the basement
07:56And never seeing anyone
07:58Right
07:59Yeah
07:59Well
08:00It's probably not going to happen
08:01I mean
08:02I love everything
08:03About my course
08:06Archival
08:06Is me
08:09Professionally
08:09But
08:11Is it me
08:14Socially
08:15I guess is my question
08:18Like being a people person and all
08:24What is it about people
08:25That you like?
08:37Actually
08:39Sorry
08:40Sorry
08:57Do you know if these are gluten free?
08:59Um
09:00I don't think so
09:00But
09:01They're really good
09:03Sorry
09:04No problem
09:04Take your time
09:17Where is it?
09:20Where is it?
09:23Just me
09:28Good thanks
09:29Great
09:29How was yours?
09:57I don't know
10:07Frieden
10:08Frieden
10:08Frieden
10:12Frieden
10:29Frieden
10:41Mia.
10:43Mia.
10:43Mia.
10:44Oh my God, Dad, what the fucking freak?
10:46Have you seen the dog?
10:47Yes.
10:47Where?
10:48Oh, I don't know.
10:49I'll text Mum.
10:50No, no, no, just where is it?
10:51Oh my God, get out of my room.
10:54It's so fucking annoying.
11:29It's so fucking annoying.
11:30Come here.
11:31Mia.
11:32Mia.
11:33Come here, good girl.
11:34Good girl.
11:36Good girl.
11:38Oh, let's go get it.
11:40Good girl.
11:42Where's it, baby?
11:43Bring it back.
11:44Good girl.
11:45Mia.
11:46Good girl.
11:47What a good girl.
11:49Here.
11:50Ready?
11:51Woo.
11:53Come here.
11:55Sorry.
11:56Come here.
11:57Hi.
11:57Come here.
11:57Come on.
11:58What are you doing to my dog?
11:59That's my dog.
11:59Sorry, that silly white one.
12:00No, that's my dog.
12:01That's Beattie.
12:02Well, I'm responsible for it.
12:03Oh my God, you're Roland.
12:04How do you know that?
12:05I'm Samantha.
12:07That doesn't mean anything to me.
12:08It's Roland.
12:09Oh, wow.
12:10What are you saying?
12:12This is Jonas.
12:13Oh, Spike's dad.
12:14Right.
12:14Yeah, interesting.
12:15Hey, Beattie, come on.
12:15You lost your wife now.
12:16Your dog.
12:17Oh, yeah.
12:18How's Apple, by the way?
12:19I've known her for years.
12:19This is Andrew.
12:20No, I'm not.
12:21Can we not do introductions?
12:22I'm not staying.
12:23You're very highly strong.
12:24You're dehydrated.
12:26Stick your tongue out.
12:29You're a beer or wine kind of guy, Roland?
12:31What?
12:31I think it's just confused.
12:33No, I'm not confused.
12:33I'm just rude.
12:34No, I'm not rude.
12:35I did sort of steal your dog.
12:37You're not feeling the vibe?
12:38You did.
12:39She did.
12:40Wait.
12:41You came to my house and you stole my dog?
12:44Emma texted me and asked me to me because she needs a regular friend.
12:46Emma texted you?
12:47Yeah, she needs to be with her friends.
12:48What's weird about Emma texting me?
12:49Dogs don't have friends.
12:50Ah, yes, they do, eh?
12:51Whose dog is this?
12:53Oh, well, no, that's Marty.
12:56I think Beatty's more Emma's dog.
12:59That's true, but Emma's not here, is she?
13:00Sorry, it was us.
13:01Beatty, could you calm down?
13:03You're upsetting the baby.
13:04I'm not upsetting the baby.
13:05Inside voices.
13:06Inside voices.
13:07Are you going to come here every night?
13:09No, I'm not coming every night.
13:10You guys are crazy.
13:11It's freezing.
13:12So I have a drink, mate?
13:13No, I'm fine.
13:14I'm just rude.
13:15I'm not rude.
13:16I'm hungry.
13:17I can drop Beatty back if you need to be alone.
13:19No, it's fine.
13:20Thank you so much.
13:21Thanks.
13:22Dogs be calm.
13:23Are you able to be calm?
13:25I was calm.
13:26Sorry, I'm...
13:27Thank you so much.
13:28Sorry.
13:29I'm just a little...
13:30Because the dog went away.
13:31You know, we're here mornings too, if that suits you better.
13:33Oh, I'm not...
13:34Yeah, no, thanks.
13:35Yes.
13:36Julia adores you.
13:37Do you want Muppet and I to walk with you?
13:38Uh, Muppet and me?
13:39No, thank you.
13:40No, thanks.
13:41That's fine.
13:41Come on.
13:42Come on.
13:43Get in.
13:52Hey.
13:55Did you know she was at the park?
13:57Who?
13:57The dog.
13:58Did you know the dog was at the park?
13:59Yeah, Sam took it.
14:02Yeah.
14:03What?
14:05Well, doesn't matter.
14:13Hi.
14:14Uh, hey, can you talk?
14:15Yeah.
14:16Yeah.
14:17Just...
14:18Yeah.
14:19Uh, everything's fine.
14:20Did you ask some annoying woman to steal the dog?
14:26Yeah.
14:27Yeah, yeah, yeah, Roland.
14:28You got me there.
14:29Um, I just...
14:30I did that for a laugh.
14:32That's Sam.
14:33She's, like, basically Betty's auntie.
14:36Well, okay.
14:36Well, no, she's human, so she's not Betty's auntie.
14:39Could you tell her to stop?
14:40No, but we just thought it would be easier, since, you know...
14:43God, I feel like I'm being masticated here, Emma.
14:45Yeah, well, you do bring me a breakfast roll.
14:46Yeah, no, you're right.
14:47I'm sorry.
14:48Yes, you're right.
14:49So, can you just tell her I don't need help?
14:51Yeah.
14:52Sure.
14:53Sure.
14:54Just as long as you take Betty to the park.
14:56I will.
14:56I said I will, and I will.
14:58To her park?
14:59No, no.
15:00Not to the people park, to running.
15:03Why?
15:04Because I don't do chat.
15:07You do chat, but you left, and now I've got the dog.
15:11The dog I didn't want in the first place, by the way.
15:13But anyway, I've got full custody, so now I'll organise the walk schedule,
15:17and you just go off and, you know...
15:19Mm-hmm.
15:23Anyway, I've got to cook dinner.
15:25Okay.
15:28Should we talk later tonight?
15:30Yeah, sure.
15:31Oh, no, sorry.
15:32I'll be drunk by then.
15:33Right.
15:35But, yeah, let's find a window.
15:38Okay.
15:39Okay.
15:40Maybe next time you're hungry or something.
15:42Yeah.
15:42Okay.
15:43Yep.
15:43Good chat.
15:44Okay.
15:44Yep.
15:45Bye.
15:45Bye.
15:47Bye.
15:49You know she left because of you.
15:52She hates you.
15:54Like, really, really hates you.
16:00Oh, shit.
16:03Oh, fuck.
16:05Are you kidding me?
16:08Are you kidding me?
16:15Oh, fuck.
16:17Are you kidding me?
16:23Only, one, one, two, three, four, four, five, four, five?
16:42Bye.
16:44Bye.
16:45Bye.
16:48Bye.
16:50Bye.
16:59i just find it really depressing it's it's not meant to be depressing it's it's meant to inspire
17:04you writing my gravestone inspire me yeah you're breaking up there um well yeah see yeah it's all
17:13about focusing your what you want to do with your life and focus on what's important to you you know
17:19sorry hang on a sec you know like um we're only we're only here once kind of thing um why
17:27don't i
17:28why don't i do mine just to show you what i mean um that's okay no um here lies roland
17:34a committed
17:34father and husband who sorry hang on a sec far out in or out which one
17:44um a committed father and husband who loved running and loved helping young people at the
17:52start of their careers gravestones aren't that long no they're not color they're they're not but this
17:58is just an exercise well i don't want to do it okay um that's okay that's fine it's not for
18:08everyone um i'll find well sorry just the dog again is just driving me crazy there you go out you
18:17go
18:18staying out this time um what can we do so there's another way of focusing um oh my god i'm
18:29so sorry
18:29carla i'll i'll come back
18:59carla i'll come back
19:04shush shush yes yes i can hear it knocking amazing
19:10shush i know i know yes someone's at the door hi roland hello samantha oh you left about your
19:17lead so i just thought i'd drop it off and then i thought since i'm here why don't i see
19:20if beanie
19:20wants to come to the park oh it's just a muffin and i me are we and we us uh
19:25we're going for the
19:25evening session and no thanks no it's just you seem busy and i'm pretty tight i am well spoiled
19:30so yes sir is that a no i'm just trying to be nice that's what i'm trying to do yeah
19:36it does seem
19:37hard for you emma seems to think i need help working with us not that i'm sure you're capable
19:42yeah yeah yeah i mean whoops hello you know we're emma and beaty's park family that's all and uh it's
19:49now we're yours oh no thank you i mean but you know she'll she'll be back in a few weeks
19:54and
19:54everything will be back well i mean unless the funding isn't there a chance it's bugging longer
20:06oh because of the yeah i mean if she gets the funding yeah yes i forgot about that maybe that's
20:17wrong maybe i've maybe i was thinking no no that's yeah no that's right um anyway sorry i shouldn't
20:22no no don't be sorry it's fine um no it's all good thanks i'll see you at the park oh
20:29yes probably not
20:30not actually but anyway okay oh leave yes okay i'm in northern chile and i'd love to see something
20:42big so big i spotted it easily from my plane hi hey can you talk dates um yep hang on
20:53uh okay yep
20:56so you get back when well actually i'm not sure not sure meaning meaning they want me to apply for
21:08more funding and then if i'm successful it would it would mean staying for another four weeks
21:17so a month they're pretty pretty yeah or more yeah or more than a month which is very exciting
21:23hey roland this is a huge project for me i'll finally get the opportunity to be a fine oh sorry
21:28i didn't realize i was holding you back sorry so is it longer than is it longer than a month
21:34two months longer longer you know some husbands would be proud if their partners were doing this
21:41does mia know of course not i'll talk to her if it does affect her you know like no shit
21:48roland
21:48i know that it affects her i'm just worried i'm just worried she thinks she thinks what
21:58you know that she thinks that you and you and my you and i are um she's not a kid
22:07roland i think
22:09she knows that we're not you know that we anyway you you work out where you're at because uh i
22:15have
22:15no idea and you know then when you do we can um take it from there because yeah okay you
22:20know i don't
22:21want to talk to you when you're drinking oh okay it's my first one am i so wow wow okay
22:29fuck no it just um sounds like you're not coming back is that crazy am i crazy it sounds like
22:37you're
22:37not coming back it's a bit separationy but let's just brush that under the carpet because that's what
22:40we do i should send you over there you want to go over there there's coyotes you'd be delicious
23:01see you dad i'm off to basketball and then i'm on a stay the night at yuki's dad yes have
23:09fun good luck
23:18good luck good luck thanks
23:30just you and your favorite monkey hey dog
23:49oh
23:50can't Jiang miss miss miss miss miss mid
23:51What the fuck are you kidding me?
24:18I'm kidding.
24:26It works.
24:35Fuck.
24:36Do you know what?
24:37You want to go?
24:38Let's go find her.
24:39You're free. Go.
24:41Come on.
24:42You miss her so much, let's go find her.
24:45Here you go.
24:48There.
24:48Go find her.
24:49You're free.
24:51You're free.
24:54Go on.
24:55Come on.
25:21Okay.
25:23I'm sorry.
25:35Bee-Dee!
25:35Bee-Dee!
25:38Shit.
25:41Oh, fuck.
25:43Oh, shit.
25:48Hey, oh, good girl.
25:52Oh, come here, baby, come on.
25:55Oh, yeah.
25:58Hey.
26:22Hey, baby, sit through me, come on.
26:32Oh, look how funny there is, baby.
26:38I thought that I was destined to be nothing.
26:42I'm destined to be nothing.
26:44I'm just one and I'm making.
26:46I met you.
26:50I met you.
26:53I met you.
26:57I met you.
27:00Thought that God would fill me.
27:02Thought my prayers were useless.
27:04Thought that he would never get the chance for me to praise him.
27:07Thought the book was written.
27:09If you enjoyed that, you big softy, this is what happens next.
27:13The glass is very much half full for you, isn't it?
27:16It is the better half.
27:17It's a shame we can't be more like them, isn't it?
27:19I'm happy with a handshake.
27:20Show me happy.
27:21You look so sad and lonely.
27:23Are you talking to yourself or to dinner?
27:25Why don't you get some friends?
27:27Mum says you never reach out.
27:32No, I'm not doing that.
27:34No, man!
27:35Oh!
27:36Party Marti's having a party.
27:38You're coming, Roland.
27:39Oh, God, no.
27:41I mean, nothing personal.
27:42I wouldn't get on my own birthday party.
27:43Right.
27:44Okay.
27:45The only reason you're tracking the dog is to make sure I'm walking her.
27:50God, you're awful.
27:52What?
27:53Oh.
27:54See you in the morning?
27:55Yeah.
27:56Hopefully the world ends before then.
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