- 8 minutes ago
Half Man Season 1 Episode 2
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TVTranscript
00:12you look nervous
00:16no no I'm just
00:20I don't know
00:22it feels big
00:23you'll be fine
00:26you're always fine
00:29you're only positive about having a hyperactive brain
00:31is it's never as bad as you expect it to be
00:34great
00:35good pit talk man
00:40here
00:42I want you something
00:49finally
00:49a way out
00:53shut up
00:55what does your father ask you and do
00:57you read it in your sock
00:59yeah I know
01:01can it go via the left ventricle
01:04you're making a lot of death trunks
01:05for a man getting hedged in a few hours
01:07I'm fine
01:09I want to do this
01:10it's just
01:12I don't know
01:14I want it to work out
01:18I mean
01:20your marriage worked out in the end
01:22did it not
01:24I got ill so quickly
01:26I couldn't ever really tell
01:27he always made a lot of effort too
01:29which put me on
01:31my dad was a lot more fun
01:32when he was spurning our dates
01:33and never calling me back
01:36that's why I got on so well with Maura
01:39he never signed a contract
01:40saying we expected more from one another
01:44are you missing her?
01:47I miss them both
01:57what about Ruben?
01:59anything when he's there?
02:03uh
02:06yeah I suppose
02:07maybe a
02:10small part of me
02:12misses them
02:15well that's something
02:18now what do you mean
02:19that's something?
02:20no I just
02:23look
02:25I don't know how to tell you this
02:28but he's on his way
02:32you're joking
02:34no
02:35if I'm out this morning
02:36I don't know how
02:38but he'll be here any minute
02:51I don't know
02:59I don't know
03:00just
03:00I don't know
03:06I don't know
03:08I N
03:08I leave
04:2118 years.
04:23I know it's only 20 minutes down the road, but still.
04:27What am I going to do with all my excess cortisol?
04:33Oh, here.
04:35I got you something.
04:37A little moving-in present.
04:41I was going to get number one student, but it was 20 pence a letter, and to be honest,
04:45you haven't proved yourself yet.
04:46Well, like fun.
04:49Almost would you like an answer?
04:50Well, I love it.
04:56How are you feeling?
04:57Yeah.
04:59Pretty overwhelmed.
05:01Just hope I've been my people, you know.
05:03We will.
05:03This place is full of nerds and virgins.
05:08Embrace it, Niall.
05:09This is a fresh start.
05:11Chance to figure out who you are a bit.
05:13Away from Reuben.
05:15Oh, Mum, I don't know why you keep bringing that up all the time.
05:17We're just close.
05:18You're too close, honestly.
05:20You should see the pair of you when you're together.
05:22You strut around town like you'll never pay taxes.
05:24What's wrong with that?
05:25It doesn't suit you, Niall.
05:27You're not a strutter.
05:29You don't have all legs for it.
05:31He is going to want to visit, Mum.
05:33I know, but just bed in a little bit before inviting him, yeah?
05:38I just think it'll be good for you to see what life is like without his light blinding your eyes.
05:49Shall we?
05:57Go and make friends now.
05:58I don't want to come back here in four years' time to find you conversing with the pop land.
06:02Oh, well.
06:06Don't call Reuben.
06:08Jesus, Mum, I won't.
06:10I'll be fine without him.
06:11I promise.
06:26Just a minute.
06:29Hi.
06:30What's your name?
06:32I'm Niall.
06:33I'm Joanna.
06:35Why are you sitting in the dark?
06:37Oh, no, I wasn't.
06:39Well, I was, but I was having a power nap, you know, ahead of a big freshers.
06:46You napping your shoes.
06:50Yeah.
06:51It's a time-saving thing, so I can wake up and hit the bar straight away, you know?
06:58Right.
07:00Anyway, want to join?
07:01We're doing pre-drinks, then we're going to the union, non-stop New Wave all night.
07:05Yeah.
07:05Yeah, I love New Wave.
07:07Amazing.
07:07Who's your favourite?
07:11Uh...
07:11Johnny and the New Waves.
07:20Right.
07:22Well, see you in a bit.
07:39Well, hey, there he is.
07:41This is Niall, the final flatmate.
07:43Oh, actually, my name's...
07:44This is Celeste, a French exchange student.
07:46Porridge man.
07:46Come save me!
07:49Do you want a drink?
07:50You've got one choice, and that's vodka.
07:53I'll have a vodka with a tiny splash of vodka, then.
08:00Just the vodka, please.
08:01Vodka and porridge?
08:02No, there's a combination.
08:08Sorry, what's this porridge thing?
08:10Celeste wants a Scottish man.
08:11One like the cereal box.
08:13You know, the man with the kilt throwing the boulder.
08:15I told her Scotland's nothing like that.
08:17If anything, it should be a fat bloke with diabetes throwing a sausage roll.
08:28Right, enough of this mindless chit-chat.
08:31Let's get out of this rat den and go clubbing.
08:39Hello.
08:42Oh.
08:43Hello.
08:47I'm Albie.
08:47You must be Niall.
08:50Oh, I'm...
08:51Nice to meet you.
08:52Oh, no, I don't do handshakes.
08:54I feel like it's a social construct designed to keep us apart.
08:57But it's a pleasure, seriously.
08:59Have you met the others?
09:02Experienced, more like.
09:03Yeah.
09:04Did they, uh, apply you a cheap vodka?
09:07Certainly did.
09:08Is that a helping?
09:09No, I don't drink.
09:10I never have, really.
09:11Wow.
09:12That's crazy.
09:13Uh, yeah, just the old bog-standard heroin for me.
09:20Are we ready to go?
09:21I want to meet the Potage Man by midnight.
09:22She means you knew.
09:23You can be our Potage Man.
09:24Ignore her.
09:25She's proletarian.
09:35See you later.
09:36Have fun.
09:42Celeste is hot for you.
09:44She wants to sow your oats, Potage Man.
09:46I really hope this Potage Man thing doesn't catch on.
09:49Are you gonna bang?
09:50She's a bit, like, really fit.
09:52Well, I'll let her learn my name first.
09:53What, Neil?
09:54Oh, no, actually, my name...
09:55Do you think Albie's gay?
09:58What makes you say that?
10:00I don't know.
10:00Just a suspicion.
10:01There was this guy at my school who was gay,
10:03and he didn't really know how to join in either.
10:05Seems to be a sign, you know?
10:11Come on, I'll stop showing us.
10:13We've unlocked the beast.
10:15I box, you know.
10:16And I smoke hash.
10:17I have some on me now, in fact.
10:18What happened to the guy in the flat?
10:20Like, what have you done with him?
10:22Cheers.
10:28Right.
10:29Let's go.
10:34Oh, nicely rolled.
10:37You're a dark horse, aren't you?
10:40You guys are so gonna get it on.
10:42It's like having subtext around.
10:46Fine, I'll leave.
10:48No, don't.
10:53I had better go after her.
10:57Blow back.
11:13See you, Nathan Parade, man.
11:30I don't think you'd make it.
11:31Well, what can I say?
11:32I heard the city calling my name.
11:36That'll be the heroine.
11:42Oh, may I?
11:56So, what brings you to Glasgow?
11:59Oh, loads of things.
12:01City.
12:02Music.
12:03The nightlife.
12:04The women.
12:07What is it you study again?
12:10English literature.
12:10Oh, cool.
12:13I was gonna guess theatre studies, so not too far off.
12:16Theatre studies?
12:18Hell no.
12:19It's my own software.
12:21What makes you say that?
12:22I don't know.
12:24You, er...
12:25You strike me as a performer, in some way.
12:28But, well, like an actor.
12:30No, a performer.
12:32Like, er...
12:33Like you're performing somehow.
12:39Hey, it's nothing to worry about.
12:42No, after all...
12:45I'm a performer, too.
12:53And a performer, too.
12:58The world is white, the world is white
13:02The world is white, the world is white
13:07Can't you see I'm burning, burning
13:11All the darkness and darkness
13:15It's not me, it's not me
13:20Something I said
13:28That's just a way to go
13:30Yeah
13:40Okay, let's go buddy
13:41I want to stay on my own
14:09Welcome
14:16My friend
14:35I don't know.
15:14All right.
15:18I don't like it.
15:20What?
15:21Four years doing fuck all and getting paid for it.
15:23Come on now.
15:24Don't be a pub.
15:28What are the birds like?
15:29Any other hots for you?
15:31Actually, yeah.
15:32I think so.
15:34I can't tell if she's coming on to me or if she's just French.
15:36A French bud?
15:37Oh la la.
15:38Two days in, he's already fine dining.
15:42Come on.
15:43What's bothering you, Shaka?
15:46I just don't feel like myself here.
15:51Everyone keeps calling me Neil and there's this alby guy who's spinning me out a bit.
16:00You only need to ask.
16:03Oh, no.
16:04I couldn't.
16:05Just say the words.
16:14I need you.
16:20I need you.
16:44Tuck the keys, Shaka.
16:46Be up in a bit.
16:47I'm going to have a fag and see if I can split afresher.
16:49I'm going to have a fag and see if I can split afresher.
16:50Uh-huh.
16:52Oh, my God.
17:22I have to run them through twice.
17:28You scared the shit out of me.
17:30Yeah, well, I'm not cleaning it up this time.
17:34Look, I'd really appreciate it if you did.
17:39You were to discrepancy last night.
17:46What do you mean?
17:48We've been early with no explanation.
17:50Oh, right.
17:53Why are you in your underpants?
17:56No reason.
17:57Just, you know, catching the air on their thighs.
18:04I'll put them back on.
18:06Well, this has been a fascinating insight into human behaviour, but I've got some reading to do.
18:19Hmm, there he is.
18:23Houdini.
18:24I'm sorry.
18:25You, last night, and your vanishing act.
18:28Very disappointing.
18:30Oh, my God.
18:31You should see how fat the sky is outside.
18:36Oh, he looks like trouble.
18:40Oh, my God.
18:40He just came into the halls.
18:42Hey, maybe he'll move in upstairs and you can have a really dysfunctional romance.
18:45I'd love that, you know.
18:47Oh, my God.
18:52There he is.
18:54Bring it in, son.
18:59You big, stupid bastard.
19:02Hey, hey.
19:03You tax dodging fuck.
19:15Oh, this is Ruben, my, my brother.
19:19And you're the fat mates?
19:23You must be the gorgeous French one.
19:26Ah, no, that's, er, Celeste.
19:29I'm Joanna.
19:30Oh, sorry.
19:31I just assumed you were the gorgeous one.
19:39Right, you.
19:41I'll see you outside.
19:46Joanna.
19:54His name's Niall, by the way.
20:09That was epic.
20:11Mate, you're a lucky son of a bitch living with those two.
20:13I'll take the ugly bird off your hands then, shall I?
20:15She's not ugly, is she?
20:17Hey, I'm not complaining.
20:18Ugly birds are the better lay anyway.
20:20You're a sick fuck, Ruben.
20:21You love it.
20:36What the hell?
20:37Do it back.
20:38Trust me.
20:39It'll work.
20:39I've got a game plan.
20:40Why?
20:40No, they're not fucking hot.
20:42This little soft cock, Neil Kennedy, don't have it in him to have a man.
20:45Would soft cock, Neil Kennedy, rather go off and read some gay little books instead?
20:54Sorry, I...
20:59You fucking beauty.
21:03Stop.
21:04Stop.
21:07Keep still.
21:09There's certain parts of my body I don't have control of.
21:11Do you mind?
21:18You're very different, you two.
21:21It's like one needs a head and the other needs a body.
21:28I think you have doubts, Neil.
21:31About you?
21:32No way.
21:34I spoke to Albie about this.
21:35We have our theories.
21:43You're a virgin.
21:44I'll do.
21:47That's why they disconnect.
21:58Shall we play Spend the Bottle?
22:02Basically, wherever the bottle lands, you need to kiss that person.
22:05You know there's a good chance it lands on family.
22:07Family have a veto.
22:08Very convenient.
22:09I'll go first.
22:14Lady.
22:31Come on, Frog.
22:32I'm on a French one.
22:39I'm not scared of you.
22:42I'm not scared of you.
22:59Okay, guys.
23:00That's great.
23:01Other people are yet to...
23:09Thanks, guys.
23:12Thanks, guys.
23:14Thanks, guys.
23:15Thanks, guys.
23:19Come on, guys.
23:21It's a kiss, not a tongue transplant.
23:28Now, you take this one.
23:55Oh, sorry.
23:57Don't mind me.
24:07Who's next?
24:09Fuck it.
24:10I'll go.
24:16You're up.
24:20Sorry, I don't think we've been acquainted.
24:22I'm Albie.
24:24I know exactly who you are.
24:28Ruben.
24:29Nails, but...
24:31Oh, I don't do handshakes.
24:33And I don't do what people are telling them down.
24:55What are you waiting for?
24:58I don't think I wasn't playing.
25:00It's been about ancient law.
25:01Oh, you went to the room.
25:04You're playing.
25:08Okay, well, I can't argue with ancient law.
25:16Oh, hey.
25:17Yes, Albie.
25:18This is exciting.
25:49What are you waiting?
25:50What are you waiting for?
25:52You're not mad enough to kiss a bloke or something?
25:54Yeah, kiss him.
25:55No, no.
25:56Okay.
26:02Okay.
26:11Okay.
26:46What's that?
26:48Electricity, mate. Have a sniff?
26:50No, no. I'm good, actually.
26:52Only more for me, then.
26:56Boys?
26:58Celeste, bump of life, mate.
27:00Sure. Why not?
27:08Do you even know what that is?
27:10Don't care.
27:11Need to tolerate your brother somehow.
27:16Where's Joanna?
27:17Urinating in the bushes.
27:19Sorry, guys.
27:20I bet you think I'm ringing now.
27:28Right, let's talk game plan.
27:29It's a fat prick checking student IDs.
27:31Yeah, it looks like it.
27:32You'll charm them, though, don't worry.
27:34Bouncers are the only ones who manage to see through my bullshit.
27:37What bullshit?
27:38Exactly.
27:39I'll have to find another way in.
27:40But wait, what have you done?
27:42Don't worry.
27:43I have an act for worming my way into tight spaces.
27:45How far?
27:46I have an act for my brothers.
27:50How far?
27:52I have to stay my time at work.
27:55I have to stay my time at work.
27:55My day is very boring on my doctors' work.
27:58You ever think it'll help me pass a ton of the way?
28:00You know how we want me back at Engelbreed, okay?
28:13Hey.
28:15Hey.
28:17Can I get enough of that Iron Brew?
28:19No, I'm here for all the pussy.
28:22I'm sorry about my brother, but his heart's in the right place.
28:26I've always hated that phrase.
28:29It's excuse-making for shitty behaviour.
28:32And why did you bring him?
28:34I wanted to see him, but we're practically the same person.
28:38You're not remotely.
28:40You're the same person in the same way Jekyll and Hyde are the same person.
28:49Yes, I love this song.
28:51I don't.
28:53The girl looks a wanker.
28:55I'm sorry it's in the right place.
29:00Did you see Live Aid?
29:02Holy shit.
29:03Fray the Mercury?
29:04Yeah, incredible, wasn't it?
29:06A bit nice, wasn't it?
29:07To be able to dance like that.
29:09What, you're telling me that Niall Kennedy can't radio Gaga?
29:15Here, watch this.
29:26It's so exciting.
29:27No, no, no, I love it.
29:28Nice.
29:30It was as though Freddie had died and come back with longer limbs.
29:42What the hell is he doing?
29:44I'm a cussing my boobs from a scat-listing soul.
29:47He's screaming and crying in the eyes while it's at a rat track.
29:51Because you don't.
29:54You're not a good boy.
29:57You're not a good boy.
30:00Noo.
30:00You're not a good boy.
30:01You know what it is.
30:02The best guy we know.
30:03You been a christian boy.
30:05Oh, what can you do, master?
30:07It's a rat track.
30:09And you've been a ton.
30:20Hey, are you okay?
30:21Look at this place.
30:22How do we get from hunter-gatherers to student unions?
30:24It's an evolutionary mishap.
30:27Excuse me, mate.
30:28You just nudged me.
30:29No, no, no.
30:30I think you should slow down a bit.
30:32You promise me you won't start shit?
30:34I won't.
30:34It's a bumpy come-up is all.
30:36I'll be chock full of love in a second, don't you worry.
30:39Oh, there they are.
30:40They slap us.
30:42Come here, you.
30:48It's going to end horribly.
30:50You have no idea.
30:54Here.
30:55I'll be your guide.
30:58Easy win a bit.
31:14Less tongue.
31:17What?
31:18Next time.
31:19Less tongue.
31:21Right.
31:44What happened to Ezenan?
31:46I think I'm feeling it.
31:51Here.
31:54You're still flaccid.
31:56I'm not going to get one here.
31:58Oh, that's fine.
32:00We leave.
32:03Yo, we're leaving.
32:05Okay, you are.
32:07Don't miss hell, okay?
32:08He's already raised, son.
32:17Ruben has blackness in him.
32:22I think you need some water.
32:24Ah, my coat.
32:26Wait here.
32:54I'll be.
32:55I'll be there.
32:59Where's Celeste?
33:02Narnia.
33:02By now, I reckon.
33:06Do you have a good night?
33:08Uh, it started well.
33:12I suppose it's ending well, too.
33:15Who remembers the medal, right?
33:17Exactly.
33:18So many films are forgiven for starting and ending well.
33:22Go to Skip.
33:23How dare you.
33:26E.T.
33:26Get out.
33:27That's perfect.
33:36What a shitty start to uni.
33:38One of my black mates thinks I'm a virgin.
33:40The other thinks I'm a social freak.
33:42So you're not a virgin?
33:44No, no.
33:45I had sex with my brother's girlfriend once.
33:48But we had sex with her together.
33:53Am I out of that, Stark?
33:56Sorry, I'm just trying to get my head around how that works.
33:59Well, he brought her home one night and pretty much placed her on me.
34:04Right, how old were you?
34:05I was 15.
34:06He was 17.
34:11What?
34:12No.
34:13Um, just it all makes sense now.
34:17Why he feels part of you.
34:25Do you fancy a film or something where we could watch the start of The Great Escape and the
34:30end of E.T., try and make sense of them together?
34:35The prisoners of war who escape to the moon on a bicycle?
34:38Yeah.
34:39Sounds perfect.
34:40Nice run, because it's freezing.
34:42Ted, let me just go too.
34:51For the two hours, I've got Eddie that was real.
34:58There's an individual!
34:58Everybody has sex with me!
34:58He's VR!
34:58Well, I've got him coming out of the awesome time,yself.
35:15Look, I'm not quite ready for that.
35:18That's okay.
35:19This does no pressure.
35:20I don't.
35:21I want to.
35:23I just...
35:27I just...
35:28Hey.
35:29Hey, hey, what's going on?
35:31I just...
35:33I don't know where these feelings have come from.
35:36I mean, my mum's gay, for Christ's sake, it should be easy.
35:39Your mum's gay?
35:42Yeah.
35:43I'm genuinely impressed.
35:45I mean, gay mum's that, and that's pretty radical.
35:47I think it's the watcher, my girl.
35:50You told them.
35:52No way.
35:53What fucking town would have a field day?
35:56They would think there was something in the water.
36:00Well, we can go at your pace.
36:03Even if that means going backwards.
36:07How would that work?
36:09Oh, my, you have a lot to learn.
36:13We can do whatever you want.
36:16We can chat.
36:19We can watch films.
36:22We can...
36:23Hug.
36:25Baby.
36:31You want to say anything?
36:47You're a shit-hole guy.
36:56It's okay.
36:57It's pretty occupied.
36:59I'm sorry.
37:01I'm sorry.
37:03I'm sorry.
37:39I'm coming back for more, Frenchy. Just you wait.
37:49So what happened?
37:51He just started kissing in front of me. So I gave Ruben an ultimatum. I said if you carry on
37:55kissing her, I'm going home.
37:57And what did he say to that?
37:59He said, win-win. Then spat in the face.
38:02Jesus.
38:05I'm so sorry.
38:09Are you going to be able to get through this induction?
38:12I'll be fine. I've been through worse than him, that's for sure.
38:18We do have a fairly extensive reading list this year and I suggest to people who've got all the texts
38:22on it. I know for some of you, English isn't your primary subject, but I still think it'd be good
38:28to acquaint yourself with the wider syllabus.
38:33It's Joanna, isn't it? Would you like to take a moment?
38:42Now for the rest of us, if you can take a look at the handout in front of you.
39:08What's going on here?
39:10Acid. Acid. Some of the strongest shit I've taken.
39:16Your eyes are holes right now. Big, dark, shitty holes.
39:27Is the list okay? She's just working through some shit.
39:31That's the beauty of this drug.
39:33She's actually never been more awake in her life.
39:48Come here. Dance with me.
39:51Here.
39:54Get on my feet.
39:56You need to be at my level for what I'm about to tell you.
40:08What are we doing here?
40:11My dad.
40:12You know what you've got to do?
40:15Had another child with us, a random bird.
40:19She's fighting him for custody.
40:22Right.
40:23Okay.
40:30I can't let him win, Shagga.
40:35We can't let him win.
40:42If you lot don't get the fuck out, I'm calling the police.
40:59How'd you get rid of him?
41:00It wasn't too hard.
41:02He is pretty Pavlovian when it comes to police colleagues.
41:39Hey, hey, hey.
41:41What's wrong?
41:41Hey, hey, hey.
41:44You knew it was supposed to be a fresh start, a chance to, to, and I, I just made all
41:50the same mistakes.
41:52It's okay.
41:53It's not going to be here forever.
41:54I'm sorry, I shouldn't be crying.
41:56Hey, hey, don't worry.
42:01This is what I meant about performing.
42:06I can't see it in your eyes, almost.
42:09The real you was in there.
42:12Just trying to get out.
42:17I mean, that's the thing with eyes, they always tell the truth.
42:28Well, what are they saying now, then?
42:34You're exhausted?
42:37You're done fighting?
42:40Yeah.
42:42You can say that again.
42:45Then stop fighting.
42:58You know, I know this isn't, like, like sexy, but this is my first time with a man, so sexy
43:05can win.
43:05Yeah, this is my baby.
43:07Yeah.
43:35Let me just check.
43:50Hey, what are you doing?
43:52Oh, no, it's just a, it's just suddenly occurred to me that I am doing it together.
43:57What do you mean?
43:57I just told myself the last time I got a straight boy wouldn't do it again.
44:00No, no, I'm sorry, but please, I, it's, it's just, it's just, it's Ruben, he'll, he'll kill me if he
44:05finds out.
44:05Your mothers are together, why would he care?
44:07It's, it's different with men, isn't it? It's more shameful.
44:16Wow, okay.
44:18By society standards, I mean, wait, I'll be pleased, let's, let's reset, you know, Niall, um, the first boy I
44:26ever got with was so worried about being found out that, um, he came in my hand and then he
44:33ran out of the room to tell everyone I hit on him.
44:37I shed a dorm with eight other guys and they beat me up every night.
44:41So one day I stood up and I said, so what?
44:45I'm gay, the next person to touch me wants it.
44:51And I stood up and I stood there with my arms crossed and I waited and nothing happened.
44:58You know why?
45:01Because my strength was far greater than their fear.
45:10Yeah, a few weeks later, I, uh, I went up to that boy and I thanked him.
45:15I said, um, I said if he didn't tell anyone, I never would have.
45:25Why are you telling me this?
45:31Because if he didn't tell anyone, I never would have.
45:53Did your dad have another kid?
45:57Who told you that?
46:00You did, yesterday?
46:01No, I never.
46:02I, I should remember, we've been there.
46:03I never said anything.
46:18Joanna's really upset.
46:21Why?
46:22Because I fucked a much fitter bird.
46:24He spat on her face, Ruben.
46:26So what?
46:27I'm not fucking justifying myself to you.
46:30You saw the way she threw herself over me all night.
46:32It was embarrassing.
46:33If you give your body away so easily like that,
46:35don't be upset if it comes back with a spittle.
46:39What's this about?
46:41An intervention, is it?
46:44Now Kennedy wanting one of these wee chats.
46:46Have I gone too far?
46:48No.
46:49No, I, I, I just think, maybe it's time to, you know, I, I, I think Maura might want you
46:58back, is all.
46:59Maura?
47:00What the fuck are you talking about more of her?
47:02You've never given a shit about her.
47:04Well, what about work?
47:07Fuck work.
47:09I'm staying here.
47:11Why should you get all this for free and I get nothing?
47:13We share everything.
47:14I mean, you're wearing my jumper right now.
47:16It's different.
47:17You don't get to whisk off on a fancy grant and leave me in a shit hole.
47:20Fuck that.
47:20You should have brought me with you from the start.
47:22We can't share a room forever, Ruben.
47:24It's not about the room.
47:25It's about the fucking principle.
47:30Don't you bring up my father again, okay?
47:33I won't rip that jumper off your bike right here, right now.
47:37You understand?
47:41Got anything else to say?
47:44Stay, stay as long as you want.
47:46Okay.
48:00Niall?
48:08How did it go?
48:11Did you do it?
48:14Yeah.
48:18Oh, my God.
48:20Niall.
48:26How'd you feel?
48:29I feel...
48:30Yeah, yeah, it's done.
48:33Look, should we go to your room?
48:34Ruben's coming back and I don't want him to know we're talking.
48:37What, so he didn't take it well?
48:40He needs time.
48:41It wasn't so much the reveal.
48:43I mean, like you said, our mums.
48:44It was more...
48:45I kept it so long.
48:47Brotherly shit, you know.
48:56Ruben?
48:58Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't.
48:59Don't, don't, don't, don't.
48:59Can I have a word for a moment?
49:05I know what you're going to say.
49:07We've had the chat.
49:09As far as I'm concerned, bygones be bygones.
49:16Wow.
49:17Uh, that is very commendable.
49:21So sarcastic?
49:22No, uh, no, it's just, Niall was worried about how you'd react.
49:27I was pissed off at first, but...
49:30However you guys want to live, I won't get in the way of that, as long as I'm staying here.
49:34Wow.
49:35I'm so impressed.
49:37Really, I am.
49:42Look out, why don't you go lightly?
49:46Wait, I...
49:47I, I had you all wrong.
49:50The, the, the way you look out for each other.
49:53I, I get it now.
49:54I really get it.
49:57Great.
49:57Wait, Ruben, I...
50:00I don't think you quite realise what you've done here.
50:02How huge this is.
50:04Calm down, mate.
50:05It's a broken kitchen.
50:06I won't do it again.
50:13Right, I see.
50:19What was your fucking deal, man?
50:21In what sense?
50:22Sniffing your fucking face at me.
50:24Well, it wasn't at you, actually.
50:25It was at your brother.
50:26You think that's fucking better, do you?
50:27Great, right, right.
50:28Come on, let's go.
50:28No, no, no.
50:29No, you're really pressing me, son.
50:31Let's just leave this, okay?
50:32Not until this cunt explains himself.
50:35Do you want to tell him or shall I...
50:41What the fuck is going on?
50:42Okay, fine.
50:42I'll tell him.
50:43I'll be, I'll be, I'll be...
51:01Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop.
51:06Please, run it out.
51:07I'll be, I'll be, I'll be, I'll be, I'll be.
51:32I don't know.
52:09I don't know.
52:32I don't know.
53:17I don't know.
53:20I don't know.
53:34I don't know.
53:39I don't know.
53:40I don't know.
53:48All I needed was the love you gave.
53:53All I needed for another day.
53:56And oh, yes, I am you.
54:06We are gathered here today to witness the marriage of Niall Brandon Kennedy and Albert Franklin Sepadre.
54:16What's Ruben doing here?
54:17What's Ruben doing here?
54:17I don't know.
54:18I'm so sorry.
54:19Jesus Christ, this is fucked up.
54:22What do we even do?
54:23I don't know.
54:23I don't know.
54:25I don't know.
54:27Maybe he's going to leave or something.
54:29No, don't do that.
54:30I'll just make things worse.
54:32Let's just get through this then.
54:34It'll be fine.
54:35Okay.
54:36Do you, Albert Franklin Sepadre, take Niall Brandon Kennedy as your lawfully wedded partner?
54:50Do you, Niall Brandon Kennedy, take Albert Franklin Sepadre as your lawfully wedded partner?
55:24I do.
55:44about weenesquadre.
55:55We will see you in the next episode.
55:56I am beautiful.
55:58Bye.
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