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7 Days - Season 18 - Episode 02: Thursday February 26, 2026
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00:23Welcome to 7 Days, the show where we look back at the news of the week and laugh in
00:27this topical face. I'm your host Jeremy Corbett, as per, and I've spent the week scouring
00:31the clubs to find six newshound comedians worthy of your attention. Let's meet them, shall
00:37we? The leader of Team 1 has the energy of the fifth wiggle, was kicked out of the band
00:41for being a little too wiggly. I'm an amazing team this week, Jeremy. I'm really excited.
00:49Between the three of us, we've got two performing arts degrees, one visual arts degree, and I
00:54also think between the three of us, not one of us could name an all black. You have Johanna
00:58Cosgrove and Emma Holland! And over leading Team 2 is the Captain Jack Sparrow you ordered
01:08from Timu, it's Ben Hurley!
01:13I've got a great team on Team 2 tonight, because I have the two most recent Billy T award winners,
01:19that's right, an award that I won in 1964. It's Wane Hotene and Lana Walton!
01:30Yeah, didn't have awards in my day, didn't need them. Thanks for the crowd was enough.
01:34Our first game up tonight is a new one, sorry men, a news one. It is Newsmakers where I show
01:39the teams a clip, they have to tell me which riveting news story it is from in Team 1.
01:43We begin with you.
01:44I thought about it and I thought, you know, surely we've all had our moments of at some
01:47point or another thinking that's it, I'm going to quit.
01:50This is me to Les Mills every single week.
01:55OK, so this is the news, they're talking about quitting. Oh, this about the police, they
02:03don't want to be cops anymore, they want to be robbers.
02:11Yeah, you're on the money there. Chris, 57% of New Zealand police officers have considered
02:15quitting in the last year. That's according to a survey of 6,000 of our police.
02:19Strain on the job and insufficient pay were the leading causes for wanting to leave.
02:2557%, I mean that seems low. I mean, at any given time aren't 99% of us thinking of quitting
02:29our jobs? You know, not me obviously, they'll be wheeling me to the grave on this chair.
02:33I'll be sticking here to them.
02:34I mean, yeah, I don't blame them in a way. Like, you're underpaid, you know, no one's
02:40respecting you and your job. You could see why you'd look towards greener pastures like
02:45nursing or teaching. If there's not enough cops, like, do you think they'll be calling
02:51out, put your hands up and come out, we've got you partially surrounded. It's about four
02:57of us. Imagine calling 111 and you've got to sit through two hours of Bic Runga before
03:01they pick up. It will be one cop by the end. It's like, if it's an emergency, just text Mark.
03:08He's 027, 629. I think if you want to keep them, they
03:13should have three free tasers a month just to get the power going.
03:18I like that idea, just no questions asked.
03:20Honestly, and I'll sign up because I do think I'd enjoy it.
03:24I reckon they'll come back.
03:25The cops?
03:26I reckon they'll come back. If they quit, it'll only take one thing. They'll walk
03:29past a hen do on a night out and not, they won't want to get a photo with them in
03:34their
03:34handcuffs.
03:36And they'll be like, I missed the force.
03:41Well, I just don't think that police, like, I don't think kids grow up to be policemen,
03:46you know? That's not like their dream. So, like, even sometimes if a cop's trying to
03:49pull me over, I'll, like, keep driving. And then when they finally get me, they'll be
03:53like, why did you make me chase you so long? I'll just say, didn't it feel good to chase
03:57something?
03:58Yeah.
04:00Remember when you did that with your dreams?
04:02I can't imagine what would be your first crime that you would commit. Would that be it?
04:07Crimes of fashion. Crimes of fashion.
04:09Crimes of fashion.
04:09Crimes of fashion.
04:10Or sodomy.
04:15I think that one's okay now.
04:17Is it okay?
04:17Yeah.
04:18This is going to be tough though, isn't it? I mean, if the cops quit, who's going to
04:21fly the helicopter over West Auckland at 3am in the morning?
04:25People are going to miss that.
04:26I have no idea what that is in Epsom, mate.
04:30I know where West Auckland is.
04:33Dragons be there.
04:36All right.
04:37Over to you, team two.
04:38Have a look at this news clip.
04:39Tell me what it's all about.
04:41And suddenly it was like, oh, you know, yeah, the sales went up and everyone's
04:45getting into it.
04:45Oh, Jesus.
04:46Rural Corbett.
04:51It sounds like a guy who's, like, just watched, like, the America's Cup for the first time
04:57and doesn't know how to explain it.
04:58You know, like, oh, sales went up and people just go crazy out there.
05:03Yeah.
05:04So, is it something about a boom in the rural sector?
05:08Is that the story?
05:10Cows.
05:10Yeah, cows.
05:12We think, um, cows are up.
05:17I always think you're better than that, Ben, but maybe not.
05:20Um, no.
05:22Aotearoa is currently going through a bit of a gold rush.
05:24That's what it's all about.
05:25An increase in gold's prices led to an influx of prospectors heading to our shores.
05:30In the last year, there have been over 500 permits granted for gold mining throughout
05:33the country.
05:34This has got to be great news for Westport.
05:37A thing.
05:40Like, this is, um, this is the state of the New Zealand economy.
05:44The government said, hey, have you tried looking for money in the ground?
05:51And then they'll be like, and we put it there.
05:54It wasn't Labour who put it there.
05:55We put it there.
05:58Do you think I could get child labour?
06:01Like, my kids are already playing in a sandpit.
06:03Like, could I just get them in the river?
06:06I'd be like, mummy, we're hungry.
06:07I'd be like, you get chicken nuggets when you find nuggets, babe.
06:11Wait, have you ever seen pure gold?
06:14No.
06:14Okay, so if you go onto YouTube, um, there's a video online of Ryan Seacrest trying to high-five
06:20a blind guy on American Idol in 2008.
06:23Yes.
06:23That's pure gold.
06:26LAUGHTER
06:28It's kind of, I think it's like, because there was the gold, an original gold rush in the 1800s.
06:32I think that now they have the technology to go through all the tailings, if you like,
06:36and extract the little bits of gold that were left over.
06:39So I think that's what it's all about.
06:40The technology's improved, so they can actually get gold out of what was left over.
06:44Like picking sultanas out of muesli.
06:45You got it?
06:46Yeah.
06:47I, the other day, found a hokey pokey in my bra, so I get the thrill of it.
06:52Yeah.
06:53I definitely was like, is there more?
06:54Yeah.
06:55We've got to get our gold some way, because we're not getting it at the Winter Olympics, are we?
06:59Ooh.
07:00Night we up.
07:01Hey.
07:07All right, enjoy that round.
07:09I'm going to dish out some points now for you to gobble up.
07:11Team one, you're going to have ten in Roman numerals.
07:14That is X, also the name of the social media platform.
07:17The New Zealand Parliament will no longer be posting on,
07:19due to the fact it's a raging dumpster fire.
07:22Team two, you're going to have five.
07:23That is your number of goals.
07:24Auckland FC scored against the Wellington Phoenix.
07:26A zero on the weekend.
07:27Well, I guess the Phoenix did theoretically score one.
07:30Anyway, it prompted Wellington coach Giancarlo Italiano to quit.
07:33That being his sixth straight derby loss.
07:36Ten beats five.
07:37Team one gets the star.
07:38Come on, team.
07:39Paul, come on.
07:41Yeah.
07:43Yeah, yeah, yeah.
07:44Oh, stars are cool and all, and who wouldn't want them,
07:47but I'd like to give the team who gets the most points
07:49at the end of the night something tangible to take home,
07:52store away in their garage to forget about
07:53until their next move house.
07:55This week the winning team will get their very own
07:58homemade taser.
07:59Check it out.
08:00Yep.
08:00Wow.
08:01With half the police off the streets, they'll still be protected
08:04while the losing team will be completely unarmed and open to attack.
08:08Perfect for stopping intruders, pranking your mates,
08:10or cooking a steak really quickly.
08:12Or if the mood strikes, use it on yourself.
08:16There's a lot to play for tonight.
08:17All right.
08:18Time now for Guest Who, where we get a star of the week in news
08:20with a beautiful face, then hide that face in an ugly Hessian sack.
08:24Then we bombard them with questions until the teams uncover their identity.
08:28Please clap lots and welcome our Guest Who Guest.
08:37Keep going like that.
08:38And three, two, one, about there.
08:41How's that?
08:42Good.
08:43All right.
08:43Guest, your job is to answer a yes or no
08:46to the questions posed to you by the team.
08:48You get a no, it goes to the other team.
08:50Team one, you can start.
08:51I'm judging by the Hessian sack.
08:53Like, are you the person I patched at Splore on the weekend?
08:57No.
08:58Oh.
08:59Uncertain though.
09:00Maybe.
09:02Did you hang a photo of Prince Andrew in the Louvre?
09:07No.
09:08That's a no team one.
09:10Let's just get one on the board.
09:12Maybe.
09:12Do you do sport?
09:15No.
09:16No.
09:17Actually, thank God.
09:18It's not what the story's about.
09:20Are you from the South Island?
09:21Yeah.
09:22Yeah.
09:23Ooh.
09:24It's a South Island no.
09:26Did you just get a bunch of gold?
09:29No.
09:30Are you from Christchurch?
09:32No.
09:33Mmm.
09:34Maybe in the rural sector?
09:36Because it's South Island and chances are.
09:40Okay.
09:41Okay.
09:41Do you work in the rural sector of New Zealand?
09:45No.
09:46Not really.
09:47It's not.
09:47No.
09:47That's not going to help you.
09:49Okay.
09:49Can we have another go then?
09:50No.
09:52Are you in any way related to the music industry?
09:56Yes.
09:56Oh!
09:57Yes.
09:57Yeah, that's a yes.
09:59Do you work in media?
10:01The woke liberal media?
10:05Yes.
10:06Yes.
10:07Do you host a radio show?
10:11Yes.
10:11Yes.
10:12Okay.
10:12So that might have been the platform for the success.
10:16Oh.
10:17Okay, okay.
10:18Did something that you did on your radio station go viral?
10:21Yes.
10:23Did you talk to someone famous?
10:26Yeah.
10:26And that went viral?
10:27That's a no.
10:28No!
10:29Okay, it's not there.
10:30You're doing really well.
10:30I think I've got this.
10:31Okay, great.
10:31Okay, good.
10:32Okay, so South Island, music industry, radio.
10:36I just want to get an easy win.
10:38Country?
10:38Do you know all the words to wagon wheel?
10:44Unfortunately, yes.
10:45That's a yes.
10:46Wow.
10:46That's our final answer.
10:48No, I need more.
10:49Oh.
10:49Um, are you, when you say South Island, are you like the bottom bottom of the South Island?
10:56Oh, can you be more specific with that question please?
10:59No.
11:01Southland, Southland.
11:02Is she the top and or only radio show in Southland?
11:07Yes.
11:08No.
11:09Okay.
11:10No, you can't.
11:11I don't think you're good.
11:11No.
11:12That's a no, so yes.
11:13Southland radio.
11:15Did something.
11:15Got some traction.
11:16Led to a bit of a success that will live with New Zealand for all time.
11:20Oh.
11:21I have an inkling but could it be?
11:23Did it have to do with one of the great like landmarks of Southland?
11:28Yes.
11:28Okay.
11:28Is it, is it in Gore that, what is that?
11:31Trout?
11:32Fish?
11:33What about it?
11:34Yes.
11:34Yes.
11:35Did you name the trout in Gore?
11:38We named that trout.
11:39Yes.
11:41Yes.
11:42Well done.
11:43Yes, yes, yes, yes.
11:45Allow me to introduce Chitty from Hokanui FM in Southland.
11:48Hello.
11:49And um, you did, there was a vote that was taken and you've named the trout?
11:55Trevor.
11:56Trevor.
11:57Named after every second man in Southland.
12:00And what's even better is you actually started this idea.
12:02Yes.
12:03So, uh, driving to work every day at 3.30 in the morning by myself, there's not that
12:08many people to talk to in Gore.
12:09No.
12:10So I started talking to the trout.
12:12That's true.
12:12And then, and then it didn't talk back and I was like, rude.
12:16And then I thought, do you know why?
12:17It's because I don't know its name.
12:19So I went to the local Gore District Council and I said, hey, does the trout have a name?
12:24They said no.
12:25And I said, I reckon we should name that trout.
12:26So we did a wee bit of research and it turned out back in 1989, the local Gore Host Lions
12:34Club
12:34were celebrating one of their anniversaries.
12:36Wow.
12:37So they had to raise $60,000, which late 80s after the demise of everything.
12:44Yeah.
12:44That was quite a task.
12:46They ended up raising $139,000.
12:50Wow.
12:51So actually a local fishman caught the brown trout, put it in his freezer, sculpted it up,
12:58made it look like it was jumping out of the water.
13:01Then a local artist did his thing.
13:04Like how much did they fundraise for it?
13:06$60,000.
13:06And then they ended up with?
13:20$139,000.
13:20He lives at the fish.
13:21So he was a bit like, oh.
13:22What do you mean he lives at the fish?
13:23He lives in the fish.
13:25Climbs up into his mouth every night.
13:26That's the council building.
13:27Yeah.
13:29What, do you remember some of the other word names that were suggested?
13:32Trouty McTroutface, no doubt.
13:33That always happens.
13:34Yeah.
13:34So we put it out to, we cast the net far and wide.
13:38You hook it in.
13:39Well, it's fly fishing show.
13:41Yeah, technically illegal.
13:42So we then got a top five finalists from the names submitted.
13:47Trixie, Trevor, Gordon, Scout and Finn.
13:52Trixie sounds like the trout's about to take its clothes off.
13:56Well, it's on a pole.
13:59Well, the trout finally has a name and that is Trevor and that's thanks to Chitty.
14:03Thank you, Chitty, for coming.
14:04Yay!
14:06And keep that applause going for Team Martin.
14:08They win the star.
14:09Well done.
14:11Yes, yes.
14:12All right.
14:12Time now for the Burger Fuel Brain Grill.
14:15Where the teams grill their brains to get points.
14:16New at home, grill your brain to earn Burger Fuel burgers.
14:19Now, all our Burger Fuel Brain Grills this week are from the news of 1962.
14:24A year picked at random.
14:26That is definitely not the year I was born.
14:29Ooh!
14:30Team One, your turn first.
14:31Let's have a look at what's going on in this clip from 1962.
14:34Almost everyone carries a camera.
14:36And for thirsty travellers, the ship boasts a lounge bar.
14:39Comfortable chairs in the observation lounge encourage passengers to doze the time away.
14:44Great narration.
14:45How nice to have your first experience in the kuru lounge.
14:52What's crazy is that the inter-islander have not changed the decor at all.
14:56It looks exactly the same.
14:58I do think you can still smoke on that pipe, Harry.
15:00You're pretty much onto it.
15:011962 marked the launch of the country's first roll-on, roll-off ferry service between Wellington
15:06and Picton.
15:06That boat was called the Aramawana.
15:08Before that, travellers had to swim across cooks straight in their cars.
15:11It was pretty much...
15:13Team Two, you're going to get a turn next break.
15:15And stay tuned because you, you'll get a chance to win later in the show.
15:18Thanks again to Burger Fuel.
15:19The best thing to happen to burgers since they were invented by the Earl of Burger in 1962.
15:24Break time now.
15:25We'll be back momentarily with Club Topicana on 7 Days.
15:38Aloha and welcome back.
15:40The sun is setting, it's getting chilly.
15:42It's the perfect time to whip off your jeans and head to the beach for Club Topicana.
15:46Play those steel drums.
15:58Club Topicana is brought to you by Dole Pineapples.
16:01Now, let me tell you, we've been doing Club Topicana probably for about a hundred episodes
16:05and every time I get sort of pineapple juice all over my desk.
16:08Only today someone has solved that problem with a bowl.
16:11Wow.
16:13Yes, pineapple, Apple's flamboyant gay cousin.
16:15That's awesome.
16:16Inside these juicy scales like copious amounts of vitamin C and a collection of intriguing
16:20news stories I've taken note of throughout the week.
16:23Let's see what made the cut.
16:25I snuck this one in after actually seeing Chitty from Hakanui FM Southland before.
16:29I love me my radio but I can't pick her station up from Auckland so give me some examples
16:33of things overheard on Radio Hakanui FM Southland.
16:39Okay, okay. We'll take calls on this.
16:40Call them now and tell us how you found out you were related to your wife.
16:53Hello? Are there any other survivors out there?
16:57I'm out of food and water, please.
17:03Yeah, bloody, yeah, yeah, bloody good, isn't it?
17:05Yeah, yeah, yeah.
17:05Oh, I tell you what, yeah, yeah.
17:07I was up there, bloody, yeah.
17:08I had a bit of a fence fell down.
17:11Bloody shame everywhere.
17:12And anyway, yeah, so I went to bloody town and, yeah,
17:15bloody guy on the cell phone, bloody yuppie.
17:17And, yeah, yeah.
17:18So, yeah, put me back and put the fence back up and, yeah.
17:22Yeah, yeah, Hotel California.
17:30Bringing you all the hits from the 1870s, 1880s, 1890s and early 1900s.
17:37Okay, here's some Gregorian chanting.
17:43Nau mai hoki mai anō ki tēnei te reo irirangi o hoko mai.
17:48I'm just kidding.
17:55I scared ya.
17:56I scared ya.
17:58English as in official language.
18:00English as in official language.
18:04All right.
18:05Oh, yes, okay.
18:07This week, the central tower of the Sagrada Familia in Barcelona
18:10was completed after being in construction for 144 years.
18:15Most people who built it probably did by now.
18:18But what if they're not?
18:19I'd like to see some examples of incredibly old builders, please.
18:26Yeah, this is gonna be a great centre when it's finished.
18:29Yeah.
18:30Where did I put my blowtorch?
18:39I wasn't whistling at the girls walking past.
18:42I just whistle when I talk.
18:44Yeah.
18:45Oh!
18:46Oh!
18:47Oh!
18:50What?
18:52Uh, previous work.
18:54Uh, yeah, I built this tower in Italy.
19:06You guys, um, old Gaz won't be in today.
19:09He's gone to take the long smoko in the sky.
19:13Um, so I'd like us all to pour out our monster energies.
19:17And we're gonna do a five-nail gun salute.
19:20Okay.
19:25Oh, you need a carpenter.
19:26I used to work with a really good one.
19:27Let me just get in touch with him.
19:35All right, we move on.
19:36Back to the pineapple.
19:38Uh, if I can grab the card, there we go.
19:40Uh, oh, yes, okay.
19:41The town of Devon in England has voted
19:43to turn off its streetlights at night.
19:45Why?
19:45I actually don't know.
19:46But what I do know is that I want to see some examples
19:49of what life will be like for the Devonites.
19:51Give me some examples of living in the dark.
19:56Well, I just needed to go when no one would recognize me.
20:01My name?
20:02Well, I just go by Andrew now.
20:12Please be a banana.
20:14Please be a banana.
20:14Please be a banana.
20:18Oh, sorry, Stuart.
20:20Not again.
20:23How tall's Stuart?
20:29Here comes the doo-doo-doo-doo.
20:33Here comes the, and I say, it's all right.
20:38Do-do-do-do-do.
20:44Mom, I've been practicing my tap dancing.
20:47Show you.
20:57Okay.
21:01Sharon, I don't know how much longer I can take this, okay?
21:04I've eaten 60 carrots in the last 24 hours.
21:07And all that's happened is jack shit and I'm blocked up to here.
21:16Oh, if we're heading to the bedroom, let me just slip on my night vision goggles.
21:24I thought you said you were 6'4".
21:27That ain't Stuart.
21:29All right, next story.
21:31The trailer for the new Star Wars movie has dropped, as many of you will know, you nerds particularly.
21:35It must be hard squishing a 90-minute movie just down to 90 seconds,
21:38so I'd like to see some examples of deleted lines from movie trailers.
21:45Christopher Nolan is back with a film that will have you saying,
21:50did you get it?
21:57If only she had cooked him those eggs.
22:08I was a very different Iron Man.
22:17In a world where laughter is king,
22:21one evil, deformed, old tyrant presides over six beautiful, talented, funny people.
22:31Week after week after week.
22:35He'll never go.
22:36Join us this summer for seven days, the movie.
22:43Great to celebrate Ben's last show.
22:47All right, that's it. I'm closing the beach.
22:49You can rinse out your floaties and deflate your togs.
22:52It's over.
22:52Play the steel drums.
23:04Very good top of countering teams.
23:06Time for some points.
23:07You can have one team one.
23:09That is the number of pictures of ex-Prince Andrew getting arrested that were hung in the lube by activists
23:14this week.
23:15You know the picture.
23:16That one, yeah.
23:17We've all got one, eh?
23:20Very real.
23:21So you get one.
23:21You can have 50 team two.
23:23That is the year since mankind walked on the moon.
23:25And that should change in 2028 when Artemis three touches down.
23:29Oh, I love it.
23:30All right, means the star goes to team two.
23:36All right, I need to lather myself with Arlo for the sunburn and the rug burn.
23:41So avert your eyes for a few minutes.
23:42We'll be back with a cracking game of Slice of Seven on seven days.
23:55Nau mai, hukimai.
23:56Welcome back to the one and only seven days.
23:59You're here just in time for a rousing game of Slice of Seven where we get a special guest musician
24:03to put on a mini concert for us right here in the studio while the teams try to guess what
24:07on earth they are singing about.
24:09This week we are stoked to be joined once again by the one and only Muraki.
24:15Alright team, one you are first up.
24:17You ready to decipher the news story Muraki is singing about?
24:20I'm ready to identify.
24:22Muraki, when you are ready.
24:31Toes underneath
24:35Coaches are up in flames
24:39It's f***ing freezing
24:43Dentists play drinking games
24:47I can't believe I paid for this
24:52My two of us stinks of piss
24:55I think 660 are to blame
25:09First of all, very cool. Maybe the coolest person. I'm a musician as well. I played the clarinet at high
25:15school.
25:17I'm hearing a lot of Dunedin burning couches.
25:20There's students
25:22On the piss
25:23On the piss
25:24On the piss
25:24They're hating it
25:25You got it, yeah.
25:27Yeah, let's go.
25:28On the piss
25:29On the piss
25:33Are the students like, what's going on? They've given up? They don't want to study anymore? The world's burning? They're
25:39just like f*** it, let's
25:40I think I might actually know this. God forbid a woman's informed.
25:46I've heard that there's tours going on in Dunedin of people taking international tourists down student streets to see them
25:56in their natural habitat.
25:59ESM all the way from Australia, you are correct!
26:02If you are heading to Dunedin in the near future, you can now book yourself a tour of Castle Street
26:07The iconic centre of student life in the University City
26:10Home of the flat 660 formed in
26:12Also the site of a few couch fires
26:16This is all so bleak, isn't it? Can you imagine?
26:18Catching a bus
26:22What annoys me about the whole thing about Dunedin is most of the students there have come from wealthy Auckland
26:28homes
26:29Yes
26:29And they go down there and go, oh, isn't it fun to pretend to be poor?
26:34I know
26:35Oh, it's so cute!
26:37And then they go back to Epsom
26:38Yeah
26:40I am actually a student at the moment at Auckland Uni, yes, I'm a mature student
26:47Which is the coolest kind
26:50And I found out this week that my main lecturer Brian is a big fan of the show
26:54So if you're watching Brian, my assignment will be late
26:59Maybe this is like some sort of reverse psychology
27:03Like, so they're putting the bus around
27:06They're like knocking on the door saying
27:07Hey, the bus is coming in 10 minutes, can you get out there and like do some vomiting and stuff?
27:12And they're like, I just don't want to do it anymore
27:14I just want to have a night at home sober
27:16Like, come on, come on, get out there and get drunk
27:18And it's like the zoo when they start drugging them
27:20Yeah
27:20Like, start drugging the students
27:21Like, I'll give you a couple of nangs
27:24Get out of that crazy
27:26Like the zoo, you've got to get there at certain hours
27:28Like, if you don't get there by 10, you miss the Walk of Shame
27:30Yeah
27:32They have feeding time though, they have feeding time tours around dinner
27:35That's who I am at the kebab shop
27:38Are you ready for another song, Moraki?
27:40Okay, tell us what Moraki is singing about
27:42Take it away
27:50I had a wine
27:53Thought that it was juice
27:57Now I'm on TV slurring
27:59I'm more pissed than a moose
28:03I really want to tell you all about the ice skating
28:07But my brain is drunk
28:09I'm making snow angels and I watch them ski
28:12But my vision is blurry
28:14Let's all sing
28:16Sweet Caroline
28:19Trollied on
28:20The Aussie news
28:24Too much booze
28:27At altitude
28:30Athletes jumping to the sky
28:32So cool
28:33I'm not drunk, I'm up too high
28:35Is this going out life?
28:38Don't drink wine
28:41At a ski booth
28:52Like a cool breeze wafting up your shorts
28:56Or something nicer
28:57Yeah
29:00I think I know what this is
29:01Lots of stuff about getting drunk on a mountain
29:04Yeah, I heard getting drunk
29:06Australian
29:07Australian news
29:09Australian news
29:10Yeah, look
29:10Another crowning achievement for our West Islanders
29:15They had a reporter from the Winter Olympics in Milano
29:20And she
29:21Sorry
29:22I like how you moved your eyebrow when you said that
29:24Milano
29:26Por favor
29:27That's Spanish
29:28I don't know
29:33C'est vous plaît bonjour
29:36And she
29:37As the French say
29:40Le Hamed
29:44It was a real trip round Europe wasn't it?
29:47Australian Channel 9 reporter Danica Mason went viral this week after she slurred her speech during a live Winter Olympics
29:53Cross
29:53She did later apologize admitting she had had a drink and misjudged the effects at high altitude
29:59It got so bad at one point she tripped over slid down a hill and picked up bronze in the
30:03woman's loop
30:03So
30:04Not a complete loss
30:06I watched this and I loved it
30:07She delivered the news like she was gossiping in the women's bathroom
30:10She was like
30:11Babe you won't believe who won the snowboarding
30:15I've got to tell ya
30:16The giveaway was when she signed off and went
30:18And that was whatever her name was Channel 9
30:21So where are we going?
30:24And did you know the Kiwis actually supported us in this?
30:28I heard they all boycotted the medal ceremonies in
30:32That's Brotherhood, that's the Anzheimer
30:36Yes
30:37Are you going to blame the altitude for your behaviour at the 7 Days Rap Party?
30:42Not the altitude, the attitude
30:45I don't know how you can blame the altitude at rock bottom but go on
30:51What? Picking on me all of a sudden?
30:53Suddenly I'm getting hammered
30:55Le hammered
30:58Alright, Muraki is touring up and down the nation throughout March
31:01Check out his new album Amber Skies on all the places
31:04Go to MurakiMusic.com for all the details
31:07And please give it up one more time for Muraki
31:13Alrighty, points, points, points, points
31:14I'll give you some points
31:15Team 1 you can have 2
31:17The number of BAFTAs won by Kiwis this week
31:19Congratulations
31:21WetaFX
31:22And costume designer Kate Hawley
31:23Slay
31:24And Team 2 you can have 1
31:25The number of N-words yelled out at those same BAFTAs
31:27Which means Team 1 beats Team 2
31:30And gets the start
31:30Well done
31:34I've got a hunger for another burger fuel brain grill
31:36This time it's yours Team 2
31:38You'll be guessing what ancient 1962 news story the clip I provide you is from
31:43Have a look at this
31:44I was almost terrified at the pace of it actually
31:47It was far too fast
31:48Far fast than I really wanted to do
31:51Is this the turtle after the turtle and rabbit race?
31:58I think I know
31:59You know what it is, yeah
32:00Yeah, this is Peter Snell winning the
32:03I'm afraid of you
32:04You may not have picked up what Ben said just there but he's had a few
32:09That was Kiwi athlete Peter Snell yes
32:11Who ran one of the greatest track performances of all time in Christchurch back in 62
32:16A world record 800 metres on a rain sod and grass track
32:181 minute 44 seconds
32:20Try that next time you're on the treadmill at the gym
32:23He's a total legend
32:24Alright, remember you at home have a chance to be a legend like Peter Snell later in the show
32:28With a brain grill of your very own
32:29So stick around for that
32:30And also because we have a very special game after the break
32:33It is Jeremy's special game
32:35Told you
32:35See you soon
32:47Welcome back to 7 Days Rachel
32:51And everyone else watching
32:52Did that freak you out Rachel?
32:53I hope it did
32:54Alright now time now for my favourite part of the show
32:56It's Jeremy's special game
32:58This week's special game is Charade the News
33:01In this game one team member will be given a category based on a topical news story
33:05Then they have to act out what is written on the cards
33:07I provide them
33:08They all fit in that category
33:10You'll get it
33:10Alright this week at the Winter Olympics
33:12The USA played Canada
33:13Very tense ice hockey match for the gold medal
33:15The USA taking the honours there
33:17Team 1
33:18So your category is rivalries
33:20Like USA and Canada
33:22Johanna and Emma
33:23You have to guess what famous rivalries Chris is acting out
33:27Chris let me double check
33:28There your cards
33:29If you would go and assume the position over by the stage there
33:32So Chris is going to act out
33:34He has several rivalries that he's going to mime to you
33:37You have a minute
33:38Are you ready Chris?
33:39I'd say it's pretty rich of you to call charades Jeremy's special game
33:44I've turned it into a TV game
33:46Okay
33:46Okay
33:48Rivalries
33:49Okay
33:49Here we go
33:50You've got to get on the zone
33:51Okay
33:52Oh my god
33:54A dog and a
33:55Two dogs
33:56Two dogs
33:57Ruff ruff
33:58Scra-
33:58It's a rivalry
33:59A dog and a cat
34:00Dogs vs cats
34:01Dogs vs cats
34:02Dogs vs cats
34:02Yeah well done
34:06Car drivers
34:07Oh f*** off
34:08Drivers and cyclists
34:09Yes you got it
34:10Johanna got it
34:11Move on
34:14Curling
34:14Oh my god
34:15Oh my god
34:17Oh
34:17Pated rivalry
34:18Yeah
34:21Eating
34:22Oh eating
34:22Bats are on toast
34:23Marmite
34:24Oh my god
34:24Vegemite Marmite
34:25Yeah
34:26Oh
34:28Throwing away
34:29Running
34:30Rugby
34:32Springbok
34:33All Blacks vs Wallabies
34:34So Australia vs New Zealand
34:35Springbok
34:36Versus
34:37Springbok
34:38Versus
34:38New Zealand
34:39All Blacks
34:40They'll lose
34:41I don't
34:44Drinking, partying, bubbles, girls, beer, I got drunk, he's drunk, oh my god, beer versus, prosecco, prosecco, gay men, is
34:59my mum having, oh he's burping, he's crazy, he's acting crazy, oh my god, okay, boys versus girls, can versus
35:12glass, oh my god, can versus glass,
35:1410, 10, Linda Fries, you can move on, you are allowed to move on if you want, time, we've just
35:21had time, would you mind telling your team what the last one was, that you mind, Coke versus Pepsi, why
35:35are you drunk, congratulations, team won by my count, that was five that you got correct, that's a good score,
35:42well done,
35:44team two, we're coming to you now, this week, a baby macaque, macaque, excuse me,
35:57Jeremy's special game, huh,
36:07how's it getting over there, oh god, okay, well I've had a good run, team two, we're coming to you,
36:22this week, a baby macaque monkey went viral for forming a loving friendship with a soft toy monkey,
36:26so your cat, oh very cute, wasn't it, your category is celebrity animals, Ben, here are your cards, if you'd
36:32like to go where Chris was standing,
36:34and then I'll start, we have 60 seconds on the clock, God, can I just say, Chris Parker spent three
36:40years at drama school,
36:43and he got five, yeah, okay, take it away, Ben, go, um,
36:51Celebrity animals,
36:52Pebble a pew,
36:55What is this, oh my god, oh, it's a cat, it's a sexy cat, it's a skunk, it's,
37:04someone the sheep, someone the sheep,
37:07Hulk, no, what's it called,
37:08Trick the sheep, yes, well done, well done,
37:14A snake, a good night kiwi, yeah, well done, boom,
37:22A horse, a horse,
37:24A worm, oh,
37:27Opo the Dolphin?
37:30Jumping, the baby,
37:31Had, had, had, whoa!
37:34Hey, Willy!
37:35Yeah!
37:37Wow.
37:39Oh, no!
37:42Uh, Harambe!
37:45Uh...
37:46Oh! Stingray that killed Steve.
37:51Wow!
37:52Oh, uh...
37:55Emma, Emma, Australian!
37:57Australian-Amy? Australian wombat, wombat!
37:59Uh... Koala.
38:00Kangaroo! Kangaroo Jack.
38:03Don't...
38:07A sheepdog!
38:08Yeah, well done!
38:10Time! That is time!
38:15Oh, my God!
38:17You guys have really done justice to my special game.
38:20It's a tie!
38:21Five all!
38:24It's a tie, so both teams get a star!
38:27Well done!
38:27Yay!
38:28Great work.
38:31Knowing the answer, it was a great mime.
38:33How about my Coke?
38:34Alright.
38:37I can't believe...
38:42How else are you supposed to mime Coke?
38:45Yeah.
38:46It's a good question.
38:47Who does have a good mime for Coke?
38:49Yeah, exactly.
38:51Or...
38:56Alright.
38:57Listen up, everyone at home.
38:58It is now your turn, including you, Rachel,
39:00to fire up your brains for the Burger Fuel Brain Grill.
39:03Take a look at this image from 1962.
39:06Alright, what is going on there?
39:08Have a look on our Facebook or Instagram pages
39:10and send in your funniest answer.
39:12You could win, thanks to the greatest burger chefs
39:14in all the land at Burger Fuel.
39:15You do that during the break while I sit here
39:17and think of some Beat the Dings to stump these guys.
39:20See you back here soon for a bit more on 7 Days.
39:31Come on, Mark.
39:32Welcome back.
39:33It is time now to get my favourite dinger
39:35out of its velvet pouch, place it softly on the desk
39:38and get to dinging the heck out of it
39:40while comedians attempt to list things
39:41in the brain-melting category I give them.
39:44This is Beat the Ding.
39:45Every successful answer gets their team a star,
39:47so it's all to play for.
39:49My finger is on my dinger.
39:50Let's go.
39:51New road rules have been proposed,
39:53including drivers giving way to buses
39:54and allowing kids to ride their bikes on the footpaths.
39:57Lana.
39:57I'll give you nine seconds to tell off another driver
40:00for breaking the rules.
40:01Road rage optional.
40:02Go.
40:03What were you thinking?
40:04You're an idiot!
40:06It was red, you nonce.
40:11Honestly,
40:11go home and look in the mirror at yourself.
40:15You're a dork.
40:17And none of us want you on the road.
40:18Just quit driving, bro.
40:23I would love to be road raged by you.
40:27It's not that it became relatable at the end.
40:30Bro.
40:32Oh, yeah.
40:33You started hard out.
40:34You're like,
40:34you're a nonce.
40:35And then,
40:36you're a dork.
40:38And then,
40:38come on, bro.
40:40Oh, I'm gonna give you a star for that, Lana.
40:42Well done.
40:42It was good.
40:45In his State of the Union speech on Wednesday,
40:47Donald Trump said America was the hottest country anywhere in the world.
40:50Johanna, you have seven seconds to name six hot things in a deep American accent.
40:54Wow.
40:55Go.
40:56Maroki.
40:59Wings.
41:00The temperature,
41:01Australia.
41:02One minute.
41:02Oh, um,
41:03my feet.
41:04Yeah, it's not gonna happen.
41:07It needs to be six anyway.
41:08It was a hard challenge.
41:09I only gave you seven seconds.
41:11Alright, we move on.
41:12Phoenix head coach Giancarlo Italiano,
41:14we mentioned, resigned dramatically after losing horrendously to Auckland FC on the weekend.
41:18It is football, Chris.
41:19Uh, you have ten seconds to dramatically resign from seven days,
41:23and give me reasons why.
41:24Go.
41:25I have had it.
41:27With Jeremy's behaviour at the seven days rat party,
41:30it's unacceptable.
41:31He was waving his baby mccock around.
41:35I expect...
41:36We've heard enough.
41:37We've heard enough.
41:38I'll give you a star.
41:40Well done.
41:43Wellington Mayor Andrew Little swam at Lyle Bay this week
41:45to prove the beaches are safe to swim in.
41:47Well, we don't know if he's still alive, of course.
41:49Uh, Hawane, you're from Wellington.
41:51You have ten seconds to name two Wellington beaches
41:53and four little things.
41:54Go.
41:55Uh, uh, Pituone Beach.
41:57Uh, Eastbourne Beach.
41:58Good.
41:58Lyle Bay.
41:59Wait, how many?
42:00Four little things.
42:00Four little things.
42:01Um, uh, Stuart.
42:06Um...
42:06Jeremy's special game.
42:08One more.
42:09Just didn't quite make it.
42:10Not quite there.
42:11No star for you.
42:13Alright, world champion surfer Kelly Slater
42:15is playing at the New Zealand Open Golf Tournament this weekend at Millbrook.
42:18Ben, twelve seconds to give me five famous surfing phrases.
42:23Go.
42:23Oh, yeah.
42:24Cowabunga, dude.
42:25Um, gotta get wet.
42:29Ah, gotta splash about in that.
42:33Water hill.
42:34That's a big one.
42:36Catch a tube.
42:37Hang a ten.
42:39Uh, didn't quite make it, yeah.
42:41Dunk.
42:41No star.
42:42Dunk your head.
42:43Dunk your head in the brine, bruh.
42:48You're such a grommet.
42:50Ah, alright.
42:51Um, sorry.
42:51No star for you, Ben.
42:53Even though you're very cool.
42:54Um, the southernmost mad butcher is closing.
42:57Emma, you have 12 seconds to tell us six different meats in the style of a mad butcher.
43:02Go.
43:03Chicken.
43:05Ah, beef.
43:07Bacon.
43:08What's that?
43:09Um.
43:09Yoda.
43:10Pork.
43:11Two more.
43:12Duck.
43:13Goose.
43:14Yeah, that'll do, that'll do.
43:15Well done, Emma.
43:17Look, you get a star.
43:18Well, all the dings have been donged.
43:19Let's find out who has racked up the most stars to win the night.
43:22Would you believe it?
43:22Look at that.
43:23It's not a long team.
43:24One.
43:26Well done.
43:28Here you go.
43:29Congratulations, Chris.
43:30There is the prize.
43:31Well earned security of your brand new taser.
43:34Bad luck to team two.
43:35You'll presumably be killed on the way home.
43:37Thank you so much for watching.
43:39Please join me in thanking Chris, Johanna, Emma, Ben, Hoani and Lana.
43:42We'll see you in seven days on seven days.
43:44Ma pe wa.
43:47Yeah, thank you.
43:50Grazie, Bella.
43:54New Zealand on air is the Italians saying,
43:57Nammihinui.
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