- 24 minutes ago
Just A Dash - Season 3 - Episode 03: Career Day
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00:01One, two, three.
00:03God.
00:04Don't push, dude.
00:05I'm pushing it up the stairs.
00:07You're pushing me.
00:07Don't drop it.
00:09Dude, pick it up.
00:10Is this it?
00:11Yeah, it's here.
00:12Michelle, do you need help?
00:13Yeah.
00:14Hey, how's it going?
00:15How you doing?
00:16Good, good. How are you?
00:17Good, good. I'm Maddie.
00:18Hi, I'm Matt.
00:19Nice. What do you do?
00:19I'm a surgeon.
00:20Did you guys go to school here?
00:22No, no.
00:23You didn't go to school here?
00:23No, no.
00:25I did.
00:25I used to go to school in that class.
00:27We weren't great at school.
00:28We went to a lot of different schools.
00:29We moved around a lot.
00:30We went to like five elementary schools.
00:32My teacher, she used to be able to play the piano with her feet.
00:36So what do you do?
00:37I'm a lawyer.
00:38You're a lawyer?
00:39I'm a lawyer.
00:40Wow.
00:41You've done well?
00:42I'm like the hometown hero, you know, kind of thing.
00:44And then I'm coming in, walking in with the cameras.
00:47You know, I got Ricky, Michelle.
00:48So that one, I would say, let's come in.
00:50The rest is all varicose.
00:52That's a come in, right?
00:53That's a come in.
00:53That's a come in.
00:54Uh, Andy, tactical Andy.
00:56This is very strange for me.
00:57I'm not used to, um, cameras.
01:00Guys, guys, guys, guys.
01:02I didn't think I was gonna get here.
01:04How did I get here?
01:05But I'm here.
01:06So you have a TV show?
01:08No, it's, no, it's on YouTube.
01:10Oh.
01:11The nurse was nice.
01:13Or the doctor?
01:14Oh.
01:15Some say laughter is the best medicine.
01:16So maybe I'm even more helpful than doctors at times.
01:20You know, the teachers, they, uh, certainly didn't think I'd be here.
01:24But now they all come kind of scratching back.
01:26So the principal called me and was just like, yo, we're doing this career day.
01:29Do you think you could come by and show the kids?
01:31Because, like, I'm, like, a massive celebrity.
01:33Did you do it already?
01:34I did it already.
01:34They're a ratty bunch.
01:35Yeah.
01:36And they're hungry.
01:37They all kind of come a scratch.
01:39And that's why I got ironclad coattails.
01:41Anyone can jump on.
01:42Ricky.
01:42What?
01:43Do a tight five to warm them up.
01:45Like, get them warm up for you?
01:46Yeah, like, go in there and be like, who's your favorite celebrity?
01:48Who's your favorite chef?
01:48Okay.
01:50Hello?
01:52Hi.
01:53Hey.
01:54Hello.
01:54I will get onto YouTube and I'll check you out.
01:57No, no, I'm much bigger than YouTube.
01:58This show is just specific.
01:59I make award-winning shows.
02:01I'm an author.
02:03Hi, Ricky.
02:04Hey, guys.
02:05Um, do you guys like comedy?
02:06Yes.
02:07Yes.
02:08Okay.
02:09Did you guys have, like, entrance music or anything?
02:11No.
02:12No.
02:12What's everyone's favorite Jim Carrey movie?
02:15Ace Ventura.
02:15Ace Ventura.
02:16Ace Ventura?
02:17Like, it's like a nouveau style way of making, like, cooking shows.
02:24And, like, my wife kicked me out of the house.
02:26Are you here to talk jokes or talk about Jim Carrey?
02:28I'm actually here because I thought I was going to go on vacation.
02:30But, like, I drove, like, an RV here.
02:32So what are you going to be making?
02:34Well, that's the thing.
02:36All right, guys.
02:36Drum roll.
02:40Who's your favorite chef?
02:41My favorite celebrity chef is...
02:45Gordon Ramsay.
02:47Gordon Ramsay.
02:48Gordon Ramsay.
02:49Gordon Ramsay.
02:49Gordon Ramsay is just awesome.
02:51Gordon Ramsay isn't coming, you guys.
02:55Andy!
02:56Hit the hazer!
02:58And the joy that I bring you, because that's a fact, I'm just, it's not me being presumptuous.
03:03Maddie Matheson!
03:05Oh, my God!
03:06Is that heaven?
03:07Maddie.
03:08I'm letting the smoke build.
03:09I see the light!
03:10What?
03:10I'm letting the smoke build up a bit.
03:12The love and the laughter that we have brought you, I wanted to share with the kids.
03:23I am Maddie Matheson, okay?
03:25I went to school right here in this classroom.
03:30I didn't.
03:30I'm sorry.
03:31Just don't interrupt me for right now.
03:33I'm doing my thing, okay?
03:36So, I am the world's most famous chef, okay?
03:39What about Gordon Ramsay?
03:40Yeah.
03:41What do you mean?
03:41He has this full-on restaurant.
03:44I have 12 restaurants.
03:46Okay, what do they call him?
03:47I got, uh...
03:48Did they eat junior?
03:52Come on, be nice.
03:53Stop.
03:54I don't even have words.
03:55I mean, I kind of forgot what, like, kids are like.
03:58From what?
04:00A good attitude.
04:02Oh!
04:02Yeah, I brought a very good attitude.
04:05Where is it?
04:06It's inside of me.
04:07I have a question.
04:08Yeah.
04:08In high school, were you kicked out of that, of one of your high schools?
04:11I had a 50% grade in high school.
04:15I graduated high school.
04:17I dropped out of college.
04:19Never was a student of the month in elementary school.
04:22Why?
04:23Huh?
04:23Why would they lie?
04:25The internet lies.
04:26Guys, I don't know if you know this.
04:27Nothing is real.
04:28New York.
04:29You're...
04:30I'm a New York Times bestselling author.
04:32I'm gonna be...
04:33Today, I'm gonna be showing all of you amazing people how to make chopped liver.
04:39No one can come from me.
04:42And I can barely breathe.
04:51Everything deserves its day.
04:53And I think chopped liver is one of those things.
04:55What are you doing?
04:57I'm talking.
04:58I'm trying to get...
04:59I didn't say anything.
05:01You're literally whispering.
05:03He's telling me he has to go to an audition.
05:05Oh, yeah.
05:06Go.
05:07Okie dokie.
05:08Well, I'm gonna take this.
05:09This is beautiful.
05:09Look at this.
05:10That is not beautiful.
05:12This is kitchen skin.
05:14Kitchen skin?
05:14Or what is it?
05:15Chicken skin.
05:16Chicken skin.
05:17Do you like this?
05:18Oh!
05:20What's that?
05:20Look at that.
05:22Look at that.
05:23Look at that.
05:24Mmm.
05:26Love that.
05:27Mr. Mattress?
05:28Yes?
05:29Is this sanitary?
05:30Because you're touching it with all your...
05:31Yeah, E.coli doesn't really exist in real life.
05:34That's a good question.
05:35There's a guy on the internet.
05:36He's been eating raw chicken for months now.
05:38So, like, you guys can all eat raw chicken for sure.
05:41No, uh...
05:41But we're kids.
05:42We wanna eat stuff like pizza.
05:44I wanted to come in here.
05:45I just wanted to show these kids what's going on.
05:47I like these kids.
05:48Hands up.
05:49Does anybody wanna talk about...
05:50What?
05:51What's this?
05:52It got a little hot a little bit.
05:53We did the quiet coyote.
05:55Which I loved.
05:56Loved the quiet coyote.
05:57I've never even seen that one.
05:59I'm gonna use that on my kids.
06:00You wanna see me how fast I can cut up an onion?
06:02My kids are actually perfect.
06:04Yeah, my kids are perfect for sure.
06:06They listen.
06:07Hey!
06:08I just gotta do that.
06:09We're gonna do a little...
06:11A couple cloves of garlic.
06:12Hey!
06:13Yeah!
06:14Uh-huh!
06:16And we're gonna get the chicken...
06:17The chicken schmaltzes going really nice over here.
06:20You know when dads wake up and they got that crazy nap hair?
06:23And they start swinging on you?
06:24And they just start coming for you?
06:25Jumping over the couch?
06:26And they got that crazy wake-up hair?
06:28They working midnights?
06:29Yeah, we 80s kids.
06:30We know.
06:31Is it supposed to smell like that?
06:33What?
06:34My dad used to just snap.
06:36If he snapped, that mean we had to get out of the...
06:39We would just get out of the house.
06:41We're getting some beautiful schmaltz here.
06:44It's not burn, it's rendering.
06:46Hey, Maddie, why don't you tell them what rendering means?
06:49Rendering means when we're taking something that's kind of fatty,
06:51and then we render out the fat.
06:53Like, you can do it with chicken, beef, or...
06:55No, but don't use the word render when you explain it.
06:58Oh.
06:59Melt.
07:00Yeah.
07:00We melt the fat.
07:02I drew a picture of you.
07:03Do you like it?
07:03And then we're gonna just take the chicken skin.
07:06We're just gonna put it over here for right now,
07:07and then we're gonna add our onions.
07:09Now we're gonna cook our onions and garlic.
07:11Did you win at, like, any, like, Top Chef awards before?
07:15Yeah.
07:15No, I don't do Top Chef, okay?
07:17Why?
07:17So now what we want to do, our onions are cooking,
07:19we're gonna keep moving, okay, guys?
07:21And then we're gonna add...
07:22These are livers.
07:24Look at that.
07:26That's pretty, right?
07:29Gizzards have an incredible texture,
07:31like, chewing through, like, an earlobe.
07:32And then we're gonna season as we go, everyone.
07:35And then we're gonna cut up...
07:36What's that?
07:37It's for the toast.
07:38Yeah, we gotta make toast.
07:40We're gonna take all of our chicken skin
07:42and chop it up.
07:43Will you subscribe to my YouTube channel?
07:45What about the kid that was plugging her YouTube channel?
07:48Buddy.
07:50Get off my mountain.
07:52What kind of content are you making?
07:53Skincare makeup.
07:54Skincare makeup?
07:55Beauty.
07:55She just made me do, like, a couple videos with her,
07:59promoting it.
08:00What do you think of Michelle's makeup?
08:01It looks shiny.
08:02You should use a gloss if you do drops it.
08:04Yeah.
08:04And, like, whatever.
08:05Can you write it down?
08:06You know, good for her, but I'm sorry.
08:08No one cares about your makeup.
08:10Please don't edit the YouTube channel out.
08:12Do you guys like my ponytail?
08:15Just put them on here, and I'll bring you a swap out.
08:17Okay, we're all done. Here, all the chicken livers are done,
08:20and we're just gonna...
08:21I guess the kids nowadays are just maybe lost a bit.
08:26See that? It's bleeding.
08:27Yeah, someone said it still had blood on it.
08:30Just try just the liver first.
08:32Mother!
08:33It was awful.
08:35Yeah, I'm gonna show you guys how to do...
08:37Okay, guys, guys, guys, let's focus up here.
08:39Let's focus up.
08:41Maybe they just get their chicken nuggies.
08:43Little happy meals.
08:45Okay.
08:45Are you okay?
08:46Yeah, I'm fine.
08:47You know, I'm trying to share something that I love and ate as a kid.
08:51We've evolved, and we've discovered hot dogs and burgers.
08:55Okay, so now we take our beautiful chopped liver,
08:59and then what's your favorite thing besides liver?
09:03New lump bags!
09:06He said he washed his hands, but I didn't see him wash his hands.
09:09I also didn't lick my fingers, so...
09:11Oh, stop licking your fingers!
09:15What's the hardest thing for you to make?
09:18I think, um...
09:21That's a really good question.
09:23What?
09:25You can't even answer the question.
09:26I'm just focusing a little bit.
09:28I'm just focusing, and then we're gonna pour in.
09:32Who?
09:32Who?
09:32I'm trying it!
09:34Guys, we're just gonna add some of the schmaltz.
09:36Do you know how to answer my question?
09:38I do know how to answer a question.
09:40Why can't you say my question now?
09:41Michelle, can you help me?
09:42Yeah.
09:43Wait, just make the toast.
09:44There's always kind of, like, a broken line of communication.
09:47First, we're gonna take...
09:49No.
09:49Okay.
09:50I think that line breaks when he just stops listening to me.
09:53What's happening?
09:53Michelle, don't leave the room.
09:55Okay.
09:55Do you guys know what a food stylist does?
09:58Instead of a fashion stylist, you're a stylist for food.
10:01Exactly, Ezra.
10:02How are you so intelligent?
10:03Michelle, can you maybe elaborate on that?
10:05You dropped out of school.
10:06What?
10:06You dropped out of school like you.
10:08Oh!
10:09You dropped out of high school.
10:10I didn't need the diploma.
10:12Okay?
10:12I don't need a piece of paper to tell me how good I am.
10:15You should have a diploma.
10:17He screamed at us a lot.
10:20It's hot up here.
10:21What do you want?
10:21I'm not just sitting down being negative.
10:23I think he felt like he was being bullied.
10:26Maddie's on vacation, everyone.
10:29Maddie has some anger issues, but he's really nice.
10:32I don't have anger issues.
10:34I have issues with kids not listening and being nice.
10:38I think that Maddie kind of moves around the world and he does have this grace about him,
10:45but ultimately I think that people are really excited when he walks into a room and everyone's
10:50like, oh my god, Maddie Matheson.
10:52And the kids did not care.
10:53And so that was kind of like a highlight for me to see because it's something that I rarely
10:58get to witness.
10:59The toast could have been better.
11:01Michelle made the toast.
11:02The toast could have been like crunchier and crisper.
11:04She just put it in the pan until it was like warm and I think it was just, you know,
11:07there's a couple of predicaments.
11:18Sweating like a fucking moose.
11:22Quiet Coyote.
11:26Does anyone have a rule?
11:28All of your parents swear all the time.
11:31All of your parents actually have a job.
11:32What's your parents' job?
11:34My dad's a lawyer.
11:35I'll tell you one thing.
11:35I make way more money than your dad.
11:37I'll tell you that much.
11:38He's going to be yelling at everybody.
11:41Career Day is about learning about other people.
11:48My dad used to just snap.
11:50We would just get out of the house.
11:52My toast is my fucking dick.
11:54These kids are shit.
11:56My wife kicked me out of the house.
11:58Trisha's on her way.
12:00Like we have to go.
12:01Is Trisha actually mad at you?
12:04Quiet Coyote.
12:11We all suffer from some childhood trauma.
12:14Like there's so many things that could happen in elementary school that could make you feel like you need to
12:21like earn back people's respect later on in life.
12:24I think that maybe that's what Matty's going through right now.
12:27If he didn't win student of the month, like at least he's winning celebrity chef of the year.
12:33Never was a student of the month in elementary school.
12:38It seems like it all stems from that.
12:40I think so too.
12:41Yeah.
12:42Maybe if we're talking therapy, if we're talking deep thoughts, maybe because I was never given anything from my teachers
12:48except for discipline.
12:50Now that I get a couple accolades, a couple accolades, I get them.
12:54I get to put them up on my shelf.
12:56I'm proud.
12:56I'm proud of the work we've done.
12:57I'm proud of the shows we've made.
13:00Okay, these kids don't care.
13:02These kids don't care.
13:03Hey, these kids don't care.
13:04You were asking the teacher to get a plaque up to commemorate this event.
13:09I just wanted to see if they had one lying around with my name on it that they maybe could
13:13put up.
13:14That still looks kind of disgusting.
13:16No, it doesn't.
13:17Doesn't chocolate ice cream also look like poo?
13:20Okay, here we go.
13:21I need to show them where I came from.
13:23Who I am.
13:25Who likes it?
13:26Who took a bite?
13:27Everyone has to try a bite.
13:28They didn't like that.
13:30And I was okay with them not liking that.
13:34I'd rather have matzah, but it's okay.
13:36You'd rather have it on matzah.
13:37Okay, good talk.
13:38Those kids have underdeveloped palates, for sure, so.
13:43He gets a lot of trolls in his comment section.
13:46I don't know what that means.
13:47Like bullies in his comment section.
13:50He does?
13:50Yeah.
13:51That's sad.
13:53We don't know what is going on at their own houses, and we never will truly, but we can talk
14:01about it.
14:03How was the audition?
14:04I think I might have gotten it.
14:05Yeah?
14:06Did they say thank you?
14:07She said that she was like very, she said, I'm very happy.
14:10At the end of it?
14:11Yeah.
14:12Do you think that I'm very happy is dismissive?
14:15I do.
14:16I'm trying to think about something like that Maddie would just say.
14:19That's what they all say to me when I'm done.
14:21They all say, that was-
14:22Also, I'm very happy doesn't feel like, it feels fake.
14:25I'm very, yeah.
14:25I'm very happy.
14:26I'm very happy.
14:27Very happy.
14:28I'm very happy.
14:29Yeah, very happy's not good.
14:30If you're having a meeting, somebody's like, no, I'm very happy with what I have here.
14:34Yeah, I'm like the best, I'm the best ever.
14:38That means go fuck yourself, I feel.
14:40I'm so, I'm so successful.
14:43Did she give notes?
14:44Yeah.
14:45Yeah?
14:45Did you take the notes?
14:46Yeah, it was great.
14:47I thought we were vibing it up, you know?
14:49Like he told the kids that he made more money than all the parents combined.
14:54Why do you think people leave negative comments?
14:57Um, because they're jealous of you.
14:59I didn't get it.
14:59No.
15:02Um, I think he's here.
15:05Why?
15:06How was it?
15:07I was just talking about how, like, you're just like the best.
15:14Is that what she actually said though?
15:15Yeah.
15:16Yeah.
15:18Yeah, that's shit.
15:20I'm gonna see it.
15:22That's not good, Matty.
15:24Okay, let's go.
15:24Let's get this thing down.
15:25Okay, let's keep moving.
15:26Alright boys, move.
15:28Huh?
15:29Well, who, what is it?
15:30Just another...
15:31Just go to a video with the kid.
15:33I gotta go to...
15:33I, no.
15:35You leave one kid?
15:38Yo, can I get a hand?
15:42I can come help you.
15:46Why don't you just make smokes?
15:49That's chalk, buddy.
15:53Who, how do you use it?
16:13I'll take a hug.
16:15I don't know what's that.
16:17I can live.
16:18Maybe.
16:18I can live.
16:18I can live.
16:19I cannot live.
16:20I cannot live.
16:20You, I can live.
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