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Just A Dash - Season 3 - Episode 02: The PJ
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00:01Previously on Just a Dash.
00:02Billy!
00:04Oh, jeez, that's wrong episode.
00:05Fuck! Trish!
00:06Previously on Just a Dash.
00:08Trish kicked me out of the house.
00:09Did I check your email?
00:11I don't know how we're gonna make this season.
00:13We don't have a kitchen to cook in.
00:16Like, the kitchen doesn't even look like Just a Dash.
00:18That island, his sister threw it out.
00:21What are you talking about? You threw it out.
00:22This is not a perfect situation.
00:24I literally am on a mission.
00:28We have to get out before Trisha actually gets back.
00:30We're gonna get the Just a Dash cooking island back.
00:34Oh, my God!
00:36Meow!
00:41Hey! We're going! We're free.
00:44Trisha's never gonna kiss me again, though.
00:48Kisses are gone.
00:50Michelle, what are we gonna make today?
00:52We're gonna make a steakhouse dinner.
00:53We're making a steakhouse dinner?
00:54Like, classic.
00:55A classic steakhouse dinner?
00:57Shrimp cocktail wedge salad steak.
00:59So, what?
01:00Like a ribeye?
01:00Or what kind of steak do you got?
01:01What?
01:03These guys look like fucking gargoyles.
01:06Dude, the open road is nice.
01:07How did you guys...
01:08Were you guys born together?
01:10You guys look like kind of those photos that you take when you're pregnant and that you don't know what
01:16it is.
01:17You talking about an ultrasound, buddy?
01:19Yeah, these guys look like...
01:20They literally look like an ultrasound.
01:21You guys do look like an ultrasound.
01:22They look like ultrasounds because you can't see their bodies, but you can see their heads.
01:26You guys kind of look like ultrasound pics.
01:29Dude.
01:30Oh.
01:30What's happening?
01:31Hang on.
01:32Hang on?
01:33Because this is actually the first time I've ever driven an RV.
01:36What?
01:36Guy.
01:37Can't see anything.
01:38Yeah, I'm confused why Ricky is here.
01:41I guess like him and Maddie were spending a vacation together.
01:45And so I guess he's just coming along for the ride.
01:49Okay, can we go?
01:50It's your show.
01:51What are you watching, dude?
01:53It's so good.
01:54What?
01:54I love this fucking movie.
01:55Where's the key?
01:56Yeah, let's go.
01:57Alright.
01:57Does he have a backup camera?
01:58No.
01:59Can someone like...
02:00Andy.
02:02And you know, if you can't see the mirrors, we can't see you.
02:05Okay.
02:05Thanks, dude.
02:06No joke.
02:07Is that really your bodyguard?
02:08Do you think he could be a bodyguard?
02:09I think he looks like a bodyguard.
02:10No, he's a fucking idiot that dresses like tactical style.
02:13He looks good.
02:13You know, he just drinks power drinks or like energy drinks.
02:16Do they have Rockstar in Canada?
02:18Yeah.
02:18That fool orders him in on Amazon.
02:21Maddie.
02:22What?
02:22I can't see, buddy.
02:23Andy's got you.
02:24You got it in reverse?
02:25There's a bomb on the...
02:26See, the TV for safety turns off on reverse.
02:30Andy!
02:31You're getting branches.
02:32You guys said I'm good.
02:33Trisha's gonna be home in like five fucking minutes and we gotta go.
02:35Who's gonna vomit?
02:37I got so carsick.
02:38Oh, you hit the truck.
02:39You hit the truck?
02:40Yeah, you hit the fucking truck, dude.
02:42Maddie's with his like good pal.
02:44Drive in to in.
02:45That he wants to like joke around with all day long.
02:49And I'm like, you know what?
02:50We need to get serious.
02:52Okay, I'm gonna start getting some stuff up for you.
02:54Yeah, that'd be nice.
02:55What do you...
02:55Let me know when you're ready.
02:57There must be like a place to...
02:59Maddie, do you know where you turn...
03:01Like is the water just on?
03:02What are you talking about?
03:03I don't fucking know.
03:04He told us that it was a state-of-the-art kitchen.
03:07I have a state-of-the-art kitchen.
03:09What are you doing?
03:11Shit.
03:13Do we not have nicer bowls?
03:14Yeah, right.
03:15Oh my God.
03:16Turning some turns.
03:17Sorry.
03:18A lot of criticism coming from the back.
03:20I've got a bottle of water.
03:22Excuse me!
03:22We need to actually figure out how to boil water.
03:25Yeah, how do we turn the water on?
03:26There's a propane switch.
03:27I think it's already been turned on.
03:28No, it's down there.
03:29I saw it.
03:29You have to get on your knees.
03:30No, come here.
03:31Yeah, get on your knees.
03:32But what do I know?
03:34I'm just the driver.
03:36Ow.
03:38That's a detector.
03:40But doesn't it say gas on?
03:42Is there a bomb?
03:43Is there a bomb in here?
03:47What's that?
03:48Did anyone ever try to use it?
03:50Oh, I have another water.
03:52I don't know if it's ticking.
03:53Does it mean it says it's on?
03:55I'll smell if there's gas.
03:56I feel like we're in that movie.
03:57We're in park.
03:58Yeah?
03:58Just pull over.
04:00I'm on a main road.
04:01I can't pull over.
04:02Just pull over.
04:03There's a dirt road right there.
04:04I can't pull over.
04:05Oh my God.
04:05Stop it.
04:07A state-of-the-art kitchen?
04:09Guys, are you sure we can use the cooking stuff
04:11while we're driving?
04:14I just got it!
04:16What are you talking about?
04:18It's like I'm Keanu in speed.
04:20You guys are blind.
04:21You're not Keanu.
04:23You're more like Sandra Bull.
04:27Okay, chef.
04:28Let's make some cocktail sauce.
04:29Okay, you want some cocktail sauce?
04:31Okay.
04:31Let's make a perfect cocktail sauce.
04:33You want ketchup.
04:35Then you want prepared horseradish.
04:37Some Worcestershire.
04:39And then some Tabasco.
04:41Didn't want to take the plastic off, eh?
04:43Whoa.
04:45Don't hit the cars in front of us.
04:46And then you just want to kind of mix it up.
04:48This is perfect cocktail sauce.
04:50You take your fucking lemon juice and your lemon zest
04:52and your fresh horseradish.
04:54Fresh horseradish with cocktail sauce can blow goats.
04:59Hey, Matty.
05:00What?
05:00Can I go this way?
05:01Go left.
05:02Ricky's not even from here and he's the one driving
05:04and he keeps getting us lost.
05:06Left!
05:06You went right.
05:08Sorry.
05:08Are you fucked?
05:09Give me your lighter.
05:10Just let me tell.
05:11Don't yell at me right now.
05:12Turning.
05:13Turning right.
05:14Right.
05:14Yeah, it's important you stay.
05:16Okay.
05:17There we go.
05:18We got fucked!
05:20Oh, look.
05:20Water.
05:21There's a...
05:22There's switches.
05:23Right here.
05:23There's switches!
05:26Yeah!
05:28Okay, our shrimp fell.
05:29Turning left.
05:30Turning left.
05:32We have boiling water.
05:33Making the shrimp.
05:34You saw what was happening.
05:35We are moving.
05:37No exit.
05:40Whoa!
05:41Whoa!
05:42Whoa!
05:43Whoa!
05:44Whoa!
05:44We're on a dirt road?
05:45Just a dirt road?
05:46Do not do what we do.
05:48Just a huge disclaimer.
05:50I'm kind of anchoring my body into the RV,
05:53holding boiling water, cooking shrimps.
05:56Do not try to cook while moving.
05:59I feel it's probably illegal.
06:01This is fucking so sick.
06:02Also, I'm willing to hurt myself at any cost to get this done.
06:07We are making shrimp cocktail!
06:10What?
06:10Should I put your cocktail sauce in the drink?
06:13What do you do with the fire extinguisher?
06:13If anything happens, it's going to be boiling water or hot bacon grease on somebody.
06:17It's not going to be a fire.
06:18We're going down the dirt roads.
06:20We're taking left turn.
06:21Left!
06:22Everyone has to say it.
06:23Left turn!
06:24When you're in a kitchen behind, when we're on the...
06:27Left!
06:28All of these verbal cues.
06:30Somebody hold the turn.
06:31Somebody hold the turn.
06:31Keep the team together.
06:32Oh, we're boiling over!
06:34Okay, shrimps are done!
06:36If we don't die...
06:37We're going to take them out and put them into the ice bath.
06:40Like, I'll be surprised.
06:41We're going to peel the shrimp.
06:42Left!
06:43Left!
06:44Watch out! Watch out! Watch out!
06:45They got it!
06:45Jesus Christ.
06:46These are perfectly poached.
06:48This is so scary.
06:49We're going shrimp town!
06:55We're going shrimp town!
06:56I think I might throw up.
06:57Instantly, we all got, like, seasick.
07:00What's it called when you're in a car?
07:02Road sick?
07:04It smells really good, by the way.
07:06Shut up.
07:07Okay.
07:08Like, I haven't seen one thing that Ricky's actually good at yet.
07:11Go!
07:11Go!
07:12Go!
07:12Go!
07:15Go!
07:16Go!
07:17Go!
07:18Go!
07:19Go!
07:19Go!
07:21The best blue cheese dressing ever.
07:24The first thing you want to do is get really mediocre blue cheese.
07:27A little bit of mayonnaise.
07:29Taking it right?
07:30Right!
07:31And a little bit of sour cream.
07:33Now, we're going to mix this up.
07:34Do we have any milk?
07:36Yeah.
07:38Oh, my God.
07:39What?
07:40I thought you had it.
07:40Jesus Christ.
07:42Look at this already.
07:43This is coming together so nicely.
07:45Hey, guys!
07:45Hey!
07:46Fresh cracked pep.
07:47Little bit of salt.
07:48Here we go.
07:49Red wine vinegar.
07:50My secret touch.
07:52Just a pinch of garlic powder.
07:54Mmm.
07:55Maybe two pinches.
07:56Look at this.
07:57Have a little spoon.
07:58Did you bring two spoons or, like, one spoon?
08:01No.
08:02No.
08:03Look at this.
08:04This is the perfect consistency to coat our beautiful...
08:09Beautiful chunkies.
08:10Beautiful chunkies.
08:12Right!
08:12Right!
08:13Okay, for wedge salad, obviously, we cut it into a wedge.
08:17A shitty wedge salad is still one of the greatest things in the world.
08:20We're going to the steakhouse, PJ!
08:24I've never been on a PJ, and so I wanted to live that lavish lifestyle without the serious costs.
08:30The RV is pretty much a PJ.
08:32It's like you're in a thing that moves around.
08:35Why is this here?
08:35What is this for?
08:36That's for the sand.
08:38Dude, this is the wedge salad of wedge salads.
08:41As we were driving, we couldn't get the oven on.
08:43So then I can't make my baked potato.
08:45Also, the microwave doesn't work.
08:47You ever put a CD in the microwave?
08:49The best.
08:50I used to always put CDs in that microwave.
08:52Yeah?
08:52What does it look like?
08:53It looks like a big lightning bolt.
08:55You ever put a bag of chips in the microwave?
08:57No.
08:58Dude, it shrinks it.
08:59What do you mean?
09:00I'll show you later.
09:01Ah!
09:02Look at that!
09:04Oh!
09:05Guys, we're making a left?
09:06Make a left!
09:09Left!
09:10Oh, fuck the eggs!
09:12No!
09:13Can you save the yolks?
09:15Try to save the yolks.
09:16Of course he wouldn't turn around to just be like, are you okay?
09:19Like, can I help?
09:21Just pick them up, Michelle.
09:22Save a yolk!
09:24Just save a yolk!
09:25You want to make some walnuts?
09:27I'm just going to do a quick once-over of our sage and parsley.
09:30Make it a left!
09:31Left!
09:32We're going to throw our capers in with our roasted walnuts.
09:34We're going to put in a fair amount of anchovy, right?
09:40Okay, we need some butter, eh?
09:42Yeah.
09:42Just going to wedge this in between the little almonds.
09:45Can I get this off of here for now?
09:48And with these anchovies, walnuts, capers.
09:51Ugh.
09:53My nose is like a hound dog's.
09:56Like, I can sense anything right before.
09:59There's a lot of smoke.
10:01And this sauce is something special, okay?
10:03Okay.
10:04We are cooking.
10:05We are driving down the road.
10:07Everyone is in action.
10:10Something's smoking.
10:11Smoke starts billowing.
10:12What do I do?
10:13I activate.
10:14I take over the reins.
10:16I am in complete control.
10:18Is it the oven?
10:19No.
10:21Something's coming out of the exhaust.
10:22It was truly a magical moment to see Matty move that fast,
10:25because I've never seen that happen.
10:27You can't shake me.
10:29Not afraid.
10:30Never afraid.
10:39You know, the smoke is billowing,
10:41and, like, he kind of just, like,
10:42Humpty Dumpty's down to the floor.
10:44I dive down there.
10:45I'm figuring it out.
10:46I see what's happening.
10:50Electrical.
10:50Electrical.
10:51Electrical?
10:51He starts to rip apart his precious PJ.
10:55No, it's Matty.
10:57Screwed on there.
10:58I see the wires.
10:59I see the smoke.
11:00I understand the situation.
11:01I'm about to dismantle.
11:04Oh, my God.
11:05You guys put a smoke machine in here?
11:07Fuck you guys.
11:08I'm down for real danger.
11:10I don't like that.
11:11Electrical.
11:15What did you yell?
11:16Electrical.
11:18Electrical.
11:18I yelled electrical.
11:20As if he knows how to do anything with electricity,
11:23I've never even seen him turn on a light switch.
11:26I've reacted good, though.
11:27Yeah, thank you.
11:28I wanted the safety of my team.
11:29I know I'm in good hands now.
11:31We need to get back on the road.
11:32Yeah, I'm making my entrecote.
11:34So the entrecote sauce is pivotal with steak frites.
11:38Honestly, that's the most excited I've been in years.
11:41You knew about that?
11:42No.
11:42I had no idea.
11:44You bald head fucks knew.
11:46Fucking gargoyle brothers.
11:48Okay.
11:49Fresh cracked pepper.
11:50Shut up.
11:51Electrical.
11:52Beautiful anchovies going.
11:53And we're going to blend this up.
11:55Need to add a nice tablespoon of Dijon.
11:58Look at that.
11:59Capers, butter, Dijon, walnuts, anchovies.
12:04I'm going to cut up this tarragon.
12:05Where's the blender?
12:06Do we have a blender?
12:15Yeah, we have a blender.
12:17It's underneath the sink.
12:18You guys got a pipe bomb in here?
12:19We tried to plug in a blender.
12:21How do we turn it on, though?
12:22That doesn't work.
12:23Is there another power outlet on this truck?
12:26We got to be plugged in for electrical on this thing.
12:28Electrical?
12:28It's not funny when you say it, though.
12:30It's not.
12:31Do you see that?
12:31How no one laughed when you said it?
12:37Are you going to make that steak?
12:42Okay, we need salt and pepper.
12:43We're making it left.
12:44Left!
12:46Good.
12:47We're going to season both sides.
12:49This is a perfect steak for entrecote.
12:51You want a high heat, neutral oil?
12:54Look at that.
12:55Left.
12:56Everyone's losing the morale, eh?
12:58The left's get quieter and quieter.
12:59Let's keep that morale up high.
13:01We're cooking our steak.
13:02We're going to go blend our entrecote sauce,
13:04and then we're going to go get some fresh french fries.
13:07Tell me it's alright.
13:12You are the only shelter from the wind and rain.
13:24That smells so good, Maddie.
13:26Yeah, I know.
13:27I made it.
13:28Hey.
13:29Hello.
13:30How are ya?
13:30The words I say.
13:33Don't get lost.
13:34This sucks fire.
13:38Please don't cry.
13:40Don't get lost.
13:46Everybody frees their mind.
13:49I can take the eggs.
13:51So good.
13:52Yeah, that'll work.
13:53How about the Reese's?
13:53I'll take that too.
13:54You got Reese's?
13:55Was it nice?
13:56Yeah, the guy was like super nice.
13:58He was like, I...
14:00Left.
14:01Left.
14:02We got a lot of releases?
14:04Yeah.
14:04Nothing can shake me.
14:05I am an Emmy award-winning producer.
14:08See this hat?
14:10That's called a producer hat.
14:11And it's on.
14:13Can we get fries now?
14:14Yeah, we might as well.
14:15We're just finishing this.
14:16Yeah, let's get fries now.
14:17The greatest thing to go with a steak free, the clown.
14:20You gotta go to the circus.
14:22Maybe a couple nugs?
14:23Aww.
14:25Should we though?
14:25Just a couple Big Macs for the...
14:27Should we just forget a bit?
14:29Can we just throw this out?
14:30Yeah.
14:31Just get McDonald's?
14:38Look at that.
14:40Nice little entrecote.
14:47Oh my God.
14:49We forgot, you know?
14:49Oh my God.
14:51So you want to use half the sauce.
14:53Make it a left.
14:54Left.
14:55Don't spill the butter.
14:56Don't spill the butter.
14:57Don't spill the butter.
14:57I need some egg yolks, Chef.
14:58Chef.
14:59Okay, let's go.
14:59We're doing this.
15:00We're gonna take that egg yolk into our sauce and then we're gonna emulsify.
15:06We're gonna emulsify.
15:09Oh fuck.
15:10This isn't even clarified butter.
15:12I don't even give a fuck.
15:15Beautiful entrecote sauce.
15:16Now, let's put some fresh cracked pep.
15:18We're gonna add zest of a lemon and juice of a lemon.
15:22Oh.
15:24Okay, whisk this in.
15:25Oh yeah.
15:26Add Worcestershire when you add the egg yolks.
15:28How much?
15:29That's good.
15:30That's good.
15:30Okay, okay, okay.
15:31Take it to the left.
15:32Left.
15:34Let's go.
15:34Up higher.
15:35Look.
15:36Look at what's happening.
15:37The roasting juices.
15:38And when we pour this over the sliced steaks.
15:41Oh.
15:41My.
15:42Fucking.
15:43Jesus Christ.
15:44Shrimp frying.
15:45Look at that.
15:47Hey!
15:48Here.
15:48One for you.
15:50Oh.
15:50There you go.
15:53Don't drop my shrimp.
15:55Left.
15:56Left.
16:00Look at this.
16:02Perfect.
16:08You guys getting it?
16:14What?
16:18Hey, Matty?
16:19Yeah, bud.
16:19We're pulling down the road.
16:21Perfect timing.
16:22What a perfect day.
16:23You know, we escaped the clutches of my evil wife.
16:26Also, it looks like we're about to hit a bump, a bump from hell.
16:31Oh yeah.
16:31Look at this light.
16:32Look at this light.
16:33This is it.
16:33Oh, it's gone.
16:34It looks like I'm Keanu.
16:36It's me.
16:37Okay.
16:37Here we go.
16:38Entrecote sauce on a perfect entrecote.
16:41That's the right amount.
16:42You're not Keanu.
16:43There we go.
16:44We got a sauce.
16:47I've never in my life.
16:49Yeah, saddle up there.
16:52What?
16:53Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
17:01Okay.
17:03We're done with this, Ricky.
17:05Stop it.
17:05Dude, I don't know if there was any way around that.
17:08If you have a nut allergy, don't make the sauce.
17:12Matty, here it is.
17:14Holy shit.
17:15Want some time?
17:16Dude, we're actually going to a scrapyard.
17:25I don't know.
17:25I don't want to get tetanus.
17:26Well, it's not metal.
17:27That's a lot of metal.
17:28Here's the guy.
17:28Here's the guy.
17:29Do you think he has tetanus?
17:31Do you think my sister banged him?
17:39Sarah's kind of here.
17:42All right.
17:42What did we do?
17:51How you doing?
17:56She's got kind of...
17:58No, I wouldn't remember that.
18:00Okay.
18:01My sister threw out this kind of old, shitty cooking island.
18:05Happens to still be there?
18:08An Ikea island that put two electric elements in it.
18:13You could never make that anywhere.
18:17It's the most important cooking instrument in the history of the culinary world.
18:23Danny acted like he didn't remember my sister, but I know he remembered my sister.
18:27No, I don't.
18:28But he already said he didn't really remember her.
18:30Could have been the other guy that was here that took care of her.
18:34What?
18:35Yeah.
18:36There's another guy?
18:37Yeah.
18:38There's a guy that handles the shred pad.
18:40You think my sister got shredded by the shred guy?
18:48A common theme that I'm feeling this season already is that I'm just surrounded by trash.
18:55Was that guy even real, I feel?
18:56You know?
18:57I don't even know why we're here.
18:58Well, because we...
18:59My sister's...
19:00She brought it here.
19:02What if he remembered her just like from her personality?
19:05I see a lot of hopes and dreams in this pile.
19:07Someone had a Big Mac, eh?
19:09Star Wars garbage can.
19:10I don't know if you know this, but Just a Dash has given me a lot.
19:17And that island represents a huge part of what has brought me to here, to season three.
19:25And a huge reason why I haven't made Just a Dash in four years because I've been incredibly busy because
19:30I'm very sought after.
19:33You're playing chess?
19:35No.
19:36Me and Trish, we've been lucky to have three home births.
19:39I've seen how the muffins are made.
19:47Holy shit!
19:47I couldn't believe it.
19:49It was like watching one of my kids be born.
19:53The island rose!
19:56Yes!
19:57It was like this, like, ah, moment.
20:01A miracle.
20:03Oh!
20:07We got it.
20:08We got it back.
20:14You think it still works?
20:16Dude, it's not even broke.
20:17It's not even that bad.
20:18Not a dent.
20:19Just some dust on it.
20:20You know what it needs?
20:21Two years.
20:22Big cleanup.
20:23Needs a big cleanup.
20:25Glad I was able to save your table.
20:27This is my whole career.
20:29My whole career.
20:29Without this, I'm nothing.
20:33I think I know how you can maybe, like, repay the guy.
20:35Are you hungry?
20:36You know, I've been told my whole life, you don't show up at somebody's house knocking
20:41with your hands.
20:42You knock with your feet because your arms are full of treats.
20:47Make it nice.
20:48Guys.
20:49Dude, look at this.
20:50Dinner.
20:52Dude, I don't want to get the guy sick from all the flies.
20:54He won't get sick.
20:56This is pretty impressive.
20:57This table right here creates happiness for millions of people.
21:02I'm Matty.
21:04Nice to meet you.
21:05Michelle.
21:05This is Michelle.
21:06Yeah, nice to meet you.
21:07Let's see what he did to me and what he did to you.
21:09Lady.
21:10You want a couple of shrimps?
21:11Here, get in here.
21:11What's a shrimp without cocktail sauce?
21:13Yeah, I get it.
21:14Homemade.
21:14That's just a shrimp.
21:15Yeah, what do you think?
21:16What are we thinking?
21:17Awesome.
21:18Do we throw it just in the scrap pile?
21:20Just scrap it.
21:21Aw, man.
21:22We got to share a meal with the person who saved just a dash, Danny.
21:25I think Danny is Matty's sister's ex-boyfriend.
21:28I think the flies told their buddies there's a steak dinner going on.
21:31No one, no one eat it.
21:34Dude.
21:35What is it?
21:45I hope I spray.
21:46It's scarier when you don't spray.
21:51Look how happy it is there.
21:53Look at that.
21:54It's disgusting.
21:56Beautiful.
22:01Danny, Lenswise.
22:04Danny, Lenswise.
22:05Cocktail sauce on the pro.
22:07No!
22:10I'm going to give you a click right now.
22:14I'm going to pass it to the business.
22:16It's just a dash!
22:18Just a dash is meant to happen.
22:20And you know what?
22:21I don't know what's next, but at least we have a place to start.
22:28Yes.
22:30Okay.
22:31Pretty aggressive.
22:36I make beautiful food.
22:37Just so everyone's well aware of what's going down here.
22:41Shred pile.
22:42We got the sh...
22:43That's actually...
22:43You just did it.
22:44That's actually amazing.
22:45That's the thumbnail for the whole season.
22:54All right, Matty.
22:55I'm going.
22:59Come get at the fucking table.
23:04Andy!
23:05Yo.
23:06No.
23:07Okay.
23:08It's electrical.
23:09What?
23:10Shut up!
23:12No!
23:13No!
23:14No!
23:14No!
23:14No!
23:15No!
23:15No!
23:16No!
23:16No!
23:17We left this wall.
23:18Oh, look at that!
23:21Oh, man!
23:30Yeah, look at that!
23:32Oh, mama.
23:34It's all gone!
23:36Bye.
23:37Hurry, buddy!
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