- 26 minutes ago
The Harry Hill Show - Season 1 - Episode 04
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:00No, Seymour! No! Last time, on The Harry Hill Show...
00:07We're him!
00:12Harry Hill Show!
00:15Hello there, I'm Harry Hill, and this is my show.
00:18It's The Harry Hill Show!
00:20I've told you, Blanche, you're not to worry about your sell-by date.
00:23You're doing all the right things, you're keeping your lid on, you're staying in the fridge.
00:26You've got to enjoy your time here, otherwise, what's the point?
00:30Mr Harry, what if someone forgets to put me back in the fridge?
00:34There you go again! Catastrophising about a future you have no control of.
00:39Now get back in the fridge, and relax.
00:44I like Blanche the milk carton, but she's a bit of a worrier.
00:48Right!
00:50There's a guest this here, Daddy!
00:52Oh, okay, Gary.
00:54Do you want to take that in vision, Gary?
00:56What are you doing down there?
00:59I bumped into Blanche, the milk carton coming the other way, alright.
01:04The guest is here!
01:05Oh, thank you, Gary.
01:06Well, let's welcome our guest.
01:10He's got a point dish, hasn't he?
01:13Ed Gamble.
01:15It's Ed Gamble!
01:16Hello, Harry!
01:16You're welcome.
01:17Well, thank you for having me.
01:18Lovely to see you.
01:19Nice to see you.
01:21Now, Ed, before we do anything, I'd just like to...
01:26I'm going to call it a bone to pick, slightly a bone to pick with you.
01:30Oh, fantastic.
01:31This is how I always like to start podcasts.
01:32Um, I'm going to ask you to cast your mind back to My Culture Fix.
01:38Okay.
01:39In the, uh, Times of London.
01:41Do you remember that?
01:42I can't...
01:43You did?
01:44Yes, you did a...
01:45You know the My Culture Fix in that, in the supplement there, the art supplement?
01:49I don't, I don't remember...
01:50Well, you did do it.
01:51I did do it, okay.
01:52You did do it.
01:53Do you remember when they asked you who you would invite to a dinner party?
01:57Do you remember who you...
01:59One of the people that you...
02:00Was on your list of people that you were going to invite?
02:03Was it, was it you?
02:04Did I say...
02:04It wasn't me, no, but it was someone close to me.
02:07Someone close to you?
02:09I can't imagine.
02:10Yeah, well, let me help you out.
02:11It was my wife.
02:12Oh, well, there you go.
02:13That's lovely.
02:13Magda Archer, you said.
02:14That's nice.
02:15Yeah.
02:15Where do you get off inviting another man's wife?
02:21Mmm.
02:22I mean, okay, in private, you might bump into someone, but do it in full view?
02:27Yeah.
02:27Make a cuckold of me.
02:28Yes.
02:29That was not my plan, Harry, I'll be honest.
02:31I mean, and there was integral within my invitation is a plus one.
02:35What didn't come across as that.
02:37And I had people pointing at me in the street.
02:39I could hear them pointing at me in the street and whispering.
02:41You could hear them point?
02:42The cuckold.
02:43They were pointing and they were whispering.
02:45There goes the cuckold.
02:47Yeah.
02:47What's your wife's name?
02:49Charlie.
02:49Charlie, yeah.
02:50She's a big fan of your wife's, actually.
02:52Yeah.
02:52But yes, everyone is, apparently.
02:54James Acaster was coming on to her the other day.
02:58I don't understand this.
03:00What if you were to read in, I don't know, Horse and Hound or something, that I had invited
03:07Charlie for a hot tub?
03:09Yeah.
03:10I think the hot tub definitely ups the level, doesn't it?
03:12Huh?
03:13It definitely, the hot tub is a step further.
03:15They're all associated with a sexual advance.
03:19Dinner party.
03:20What were you going to have at the dinner party?
03:22Well, I don't know.
03:23What does your wife like to eat?
03:25Oysters and sausages.
03:29Well, that's what we shall have.
03:30And other suggestive foods.
03:31Yes.
03:32I'm kidding, of course.
03:33And actually, you know, I understand that you're a fan of my wife's work.
03:37Yes.
03:37After arch, of course.
03:38We're looking to sell all that stuff.
03:44Then basically, I wouldn't have to do this.
03:46And she's bought you a little present.
03:49Yes.
03:50Well, that's very nice.
03:51But she's still welcome to dinner.
03:52It meant a lot to her to get that from you.
03:57Now, Ed, we had your friend Nish on.
04:01Nish Kumar.
04:01Nish Kumar.
04:02Yes.
04:02Although that may go out after this one if this picks up.
04:09And we did a thing.
04:10You've probably seen it.
04:11It's a big TikTok thing.
04:12The Andy Burnham.
04:13Do you know that?
04:14Do you do that?
04:14No, I've not seen it.
04:15I'm not on TikTok, to be fair, Harry.
04:16No, I'm not on TikTok.
04:17But apparently, it's a big thing.
04:19It's the Andy Burnham thing.
04:20The Andy Burnham thing.
04:21OK, should we, perhaps we'll do that?
04:22Am I up?
04:23Yeah, you come on up.
04:24I'm up.
04:24OK.
04:25And we'll do it together.
04:26I think we have to have the lights up for this.
04:28Hit it!
04:31A one, two, a one, two, three, go.
04:35Clap your hands.
04:38Throw a chair.
04:41Feel a parsnip.
04:45Iron your trousers.
04:46Shall I sing along with this bit?
04:47Yeah.
04:49Siv the greens.
04:52Strangle the fox.
04:55Hype the buttercream.
04:59Stub the toe.
05:02Hands from your Netflix.
05:06Andy Burnham.
05:08Yeah, Andy Burnham.
05:09That's fantastic.
05:10Thank you, Harry.
05:11Yeah.
05:11I feel more plugged into the youth now.
05:13Well, it's a big thing on TikTok about it.
05:15Yeah, huge.
05:15I can see why.
05:17Strangle the fox was a great moment, I thought.
05:19Yeah, but you're getting in a lot of trouble for that.
05:21It's actually quite difficult to strangle.
05:24Are they?
05:25Yeah.
05:25You've got to, well, you've got to catch them first.
05:26I suppose.
05:27Yeah.
05:27Well, look, yeah.
05:29You've got to catch them first.
05:30Yeah.
05:31Do you have a big fox problem near you?
05:33We do, in the garden.
05:34Yeah.
05:34We've got a burrow, or whatever you call it, a den.
05:39Mmm.
05:39Tell you what, we've got a glass, like a, you know, like a flat roof with a glass.
05:46Roof?
05:47Roof.
05:47Yeah.
05:47Yeah.
05:48Not the whole roof, but it's sort of like a window.
05:50Yeah.
05:50Skylight.
05:50Yeah.
05:51And the fox stands on it, and looks down at us watching Married at First Sight.
05:58That is a power move from that fox.
06:00Yeah.
06:02And does other stuff as well, very difficult to get rid of, because the neighbours apparently
06:06are feeding it.
06:07Yeah.
06:07And they're very loud when they become amorous, the foxes.
06:10The neighbours.
06:11The foxes.
06:13Come on, I jumped straight in there.
06:15Come on.
06:16So, um, we have got this mascot.
06:20Yes.
06:20Licky.
06:21Licky.
06:22Licky, come on out and say hello to Ed Gamble.
06:24Licky, Licky, Licky, the Harry Hill Show mascot.
06:28Licky, Licky, previously had a job at Ascot.
06:32Licky, Licky, Licky.
06:33Had a job at Ascot.
06:34Yeah.
06:35Hi, Licky.
06:36All right.
06:37Wow, thank you, Licky.
06:39Sorry, sorry about this, Ed.
06:41Is it affectionate, Harry?
06:43It's well-meaning.
06:46I just taste that with a...
06:48Oh, okay.
06:49Thank you, Licky.
06:50I don't know if you've seen these, the Swiss Army taser.
06:56Um, it's just a stick with a 9-volt battery on, but they're marketing them.
07:00Can you use that for other things, or is it mainly for Licky's tongue?
07:02Slugs, good on.
07:03Yeah.
07:05Slugs, anything sensitive like that.
07:07Yeah, that's nice.
07:09Licky was quite dry, I thought, in terms of...
07:11In terms of tongues I've been licked by, that was quite a dry tongue.
07:14There you go again.
07:16Trying to attract my wife.
07:20Trying to lure her to your horrible, torrid fantasy.
07:28Um, so sorry about that, Ed.
07:30So would you, um, can I tempt you to a chocolate by way of apology?
07:35Yeah, let me have a look.
07:36Yeah, have a...
07:37Help yourself.
07:37Has it got the...
07:38It's got the flavours on there, has it?
07:40Awesome.
07:41Yeah, just regular...
07:42Fairly regular flavours.
07:44Fairly regular flavours.
07:44Oh, there's only one...
07:46There's only one in here.
07:50Not for you.
07:51It's a conker, Harry.
07:53C-Met had all the nice ones.
07:55We had C-Met on.
07:57She loves those chocolates.
07:59Come on, because I've got another show.
08:04Might not have another show.
08:05Okay, so, um...
08:08So we're gonna learn a little bit about you, Ed.
08:11Please.
08:11How do you feel about AI?
08:12Uh, I don't really know what it is, but I'm, you know, I can't stop it.
08:16So let's just let it roll on.
08:18No, I don't think anyone can stop it.
08:19How would we even stop that?
08:20Uh, we are...
08:21I've enhanced AI, uh, to serve me, uh, for good.
08:26You know, so much negative stuff about AI.
08:28Uh, and in fact, I've got, um, Sarah, the AI, uh, bot,
08:32who's gonna tell us a little bit about you, Ed.
08:35Come on out, Sarah.
08:35Are you there?
08:38Rust makes quite a rustling sound.
08:40When she walks, Sarah.
08:42Doesn't Sarah walk a lot like Licky?
08:45There is a similarity, yes.
08:47Very similar shoes.
08:49I think they're like a standard issue.
08:51I think we got a job lot of those shoes.
08:52Yeah.
08:53From Dulcis on the dark web.
08:56Still open on the dark web.
08:58And, um, so Sarah, uh, say hello to Ed, Ed Gamble.
09:03Hi, Ed Gamble.
09:04Tis I, Sarah, the AI bot.
09:06Big fan of your show where you talk about menus.
09:09Yeah.
09:09Menus are historic documents.
09:11And until you came along, they was forgotten about.
09:13You very much put menus on the map.
09:16What you do in here, though?
09:18Thought you'd have bigger fish to fry, bro.
09:21All right, calm down.
09:23So, um, no, we are big fans of that, uh, pod, podscarf.
09:27Thank you very much.
09:29Yeah, where you talk about menus.
09:31Yes, we talk about menus.
09:32Um, and my wife in particular is a fan of that show.
09:34Yes.
09:34We should, she should come over for dinner.
09:36I think this is perfect, Harry.
09:39She can never remember the name of it.
09:40Do you get that?
09:41Uh, we get off the menu quite a lot.
09:43Off the menu.
09:44What is it then?
09:44It's off menu.
09:45It's not off the menu.
09:46Oh, off the menu.
09:46Yeah.
09:47She called it, uh, she once called it a la carte.
09:50Yeah.
09:52Which is the opposite of off the menu.
09:53Yeah, yeah.
09:53And then once she called it, uh, soup of the day.
09:57Which is a better name for the podcast.
09:59Yeah.
09:59Yeah.
10:00The more specific soup.
10:01Or the special.
10:01What, um, Sarah, have you got something to tell us about, uh, Ed?
10:05Here goes.
10:06Edward Stevenson Gamble is an English comedian and television presenter.
10:11He is best known for co-presenting the off-menu podcast with James Acaster as well as his
10:16appearances on Mock It A Bit and Task Money, Early Life and Family.
10:20Gamble was brought up in Wandsworth and Raines Park, southwest London.
10:24Yeah.
10:24His mother, a nurse and health visitor for the NHS, and father, a solicitor, separated when
10:30he was four.
10:32He was raised mainly by his mother.
10:33Oh, that's...
10:34He has a younger half-sister and a younger half-brother on his father's side.
10:38Sounds complicated, but just take a moment to think it through.
10:41Basically, his dad married and had two kids.
10:44Oh, I see.
10:44At school.
10:45He used humour as a defence mechanism.
10:47Good idea.
10:48Gamble has only got seven fingers.
10:50See photo.
10:52See photo.
10:53And the photo she's referring to is this one.
10:55I've got to agree with her, Ed.
10:58You do appear to only have seven fingers on that.
11:01I really hate that.
11:02Just hold your fingers up.
11:04Just hold your hands up.
11:05One, two, three, four, five, six, seven.
11:07Yeah.
11:08Yeah.
11:09Can you see that?
11:10Count.
11:10It's just seven there.
11:12Can you explain?
11:14Yeah.
11:15I mean, I can't deny it.
11:16There's seven fingers there.
11:17Yeah.
11:18Even though my t-shirt has two fingers on it.
11:20So, that bumps up the amount.
11:22Did you...
11:22Were they added to the late...
11:25Did they...
11:25Late to arrive?
11:27Those two extra...
11:28I don't understand it.
11:29Yeah.
11:29They took a while to grow in.
11:30Yeah.
11:31Okay.
11:32So, you've a fairly solid middle-class background.
11:35Apparently so.
11:35Yeah.
11:36Nice.
11:36Nothing wrong with that.
11:37Join the club.
11:38Yeah.
11:40We're told to be ashamed of that, aren't we?
11:41Just keep it quiet.
11:42And we're also told to keep our arms down.
11:45Are we?
11:46Are we?
11:47Are we?
11:47Are we?
11:48In Rains Park, just down the road from here?
11:50Yeah.
11:50Pretty close to here.
11:51Yeah.
11:51And what was Rains Park like, Dan?
11:54What was...
11:54When were you talking about?
11:55The eighties, is it?
11:56No.
11:56Well, I was born in the eighties, but I did first four years in Wandsworth of my life
12:00and then sort of...
12:01Wandsworth prison.
12:02Wandsworth prison.
12:03Yeah.
12:03Straight out the womb, straight into jail.
12:05And then...
12:06You laugh about that, but it does happen.
12:08It does happen.
12:09Yeah.
12:09Should we hear back from Sarah to see if she's got any further information?
12:15Then what happened was...
12:17He attended Durham University, where he studied philosophy and met Nish Kumar, and everything
12:22was alright.
12:23Before working full-time as a comedian.
12:26Gamble worked jobs that included short stints of data entry and working at the Rains Park
12:31tavern since refurbished.
12:32A pub that was surprisingly dangerous for the area, and one night I arrived for work and
12:37literally had to step over a pool of blood outside the door.
12:41Now tell me about that.
12:42Yeah.
12:42That's true.
12:43AI went into first person there.
12:44I don't know.
12:45Is that normal for AI?
12:46I think she was quoting.
12:48Ah, okay.
12:49Right.
12:50Yes, that's true.
12:50I stepped over a big pool of blood to get into work.
12:53So tell me about that.
12:53So what was the...
12:54There were two regulars there who quite often fought with each other, and then I think one
12:58regular said something about the other regular's wife, and then...
13:01You see how sensitive we are.
13:04You see how sensitive we are.
13:06And they both looked a bit like you, Harry, I'd say.
13:10They both had a Harry Hill vibe to them, a bit more aggressive.
13:13Yeah.
13:13And then the other regular wasn't there, but it got called and came down and there was
13:16a big fight, and then a head got cracked on the sidewalk, I think.
13:20Oh, God.
13:20Yeah.
13:21Sorry to hear that.
13:22Yeah.
13:24I mean, I can't really picture Rains...
13:26I mean, you would drive through Rains Park on the way to Kingston.
13:30Yes, you would.
13:31Yeah, you would do that, depending where you're coming from.
13:32Well, yes.
13:33Yeah.
13:33If you were coming from, for instance, Farnham.
13:37Yeah.
13:37There would be no reason to drive through Rains Park.
13:40Yeah.
13:41What...
13:42And it seemed like a fairly nondescript kind of area.
13:44It's near Wimbledon.
13:45That's the only thing you can say about Rains Park.
13:47Estate agents call it West Wimbledon to put the house prices up, but it's just Rains
13:51Park.
13:52And it has not changed one bit since I left.
13:53It's not been sort of...
13:55Not been gentrified, but it never needed gentrifying.
13:57It's just a couple of cafes, big pub and a post office.
14:01Right.
14:02It's pretty much all you need.
14:03Yeah.
14:03These days.
14:04Yeah.
14:04And in many ways, lucky to have those things.
14:07No, but I mean, a lot of pubs...
14:09No, please.
14:10A lot of...
14:12Let me speak.
14:14A lot of pubs and post offices are closing down.
14:19You know, it's not what they promised us when we all voted for Brexit.
14:24Is it?
14:26I remember the buses.
14:27Yeah.
14:27We'll open more post offices and more pubs, they said, on the side of the bus.
14:30Yeah, there'll be more pubs.
14:31Yeah.
14:31There'll be pubs with post offices combined.
14:35Yeah.
14:35That you'll be able to take your parcel in.
14:37Yeah.
14:38Have it assessed and then have a drink.
14:40And you can post a pint to a friend, they said.
14:42Yeah.
14:42And there'll be a policeman standing outside to make sure there were no fights.
14:46Yeah.
14:48So, you met this character, Nish Kumar.
14:51Nish Kumar.
14:52Yeah.
14:52Who's been on the show or is yet to appear on the show.
14:54He has...
14:56I've had Nish...
14:57I did have...
14:58I've had Nish on other shows and he's an excellent value.
15:01And I'm a big fan of Nish's.
15:02What was he like when you first met him?
15:05I'd say exactly the same.
15:07Really?
15:07Like just a squawking moron.
15:09Yeah.
15:11He's a lovely man, Nish.
15:13We were in a sketch group together.
15:14Yeah.
15:14And we spent a lot of time together basically refusing to do our degrees and just writing
15:19sketches together and then just drinking quite a lot.
15:22We were the...
15:23We called ourselves the one more brothers.
15:25Right.
15:26The one more drink.
15:26Because everyone else would go home and we would always have one more.
15:28And we were the one more brothers.
15:29As you can imagine, we kissed a lot of girls.
15:33Yeah.
15:33A bit.
15:34Yeah.
15:35What's that like?
15:39He couldn't remember any of the sketches that you...
15:42Do you remember any of those sketches?
15:43He could definitely remember some of the sketches.
15:45He was probably just too embarrassed.
15:46Oh, right.
15:47There was one where he was a self-defense instructor.
15:52And it's way funnier than I've made it sound there.
15:55It was really good stuff, Harry.
15:57I can't remember any of the details.
15:58And did you take the review up to Edinburgh or do anything like that?
16:02We did.
16:02We did a couple of years at the Edinburgh Fringe to great acclaim from my mother.
16:08And was this a time when you perhaps decided you want to be a, what we would term loosely,
16:15a comedian?
16:17No.
16:17If you wanted to be a comedian, was it you...
16:19Because for me...
16:20Yeah.
16:21If I may turn this around to me.
16:22Please.
16:23Is that I took a medical school show up to Edinburgh.
16:27Yeah.
16:28And I went to a lot.
16:29I went to Stuart Lee and Steve Coogan and all those old guys.
16:35And actually, that's what made me think, partly what made me think, oh, this would be great.
16:40Yeah.
16:40I think being at the Fringe and seeing all those shows and feeling the atmosphere there,
16:44it's quite exciting, isn't it, the first time you go?
16:46Thrilling.
16:47Yeah.
16:47Because you don't see any of the underlying sadness.
16:49The money, the losses.
16:51Yeah.
16:51The overheads.
16:52Yeah, exactly.
16:53When you're doing student sketch shows, you're just there for fun.
16:55Yeah.
16:56It doesn't really matter if no one's really coming to the show, you're still having a
16:58good time, then you take your own show up there and realise that everyone you saw
17:01do shows in the previous years was severely depressed.
17:06Okay, Sarah, have you got anything further to add?
17:10Career.
17:11His stand-up contains much observational comedy, often aimed at his self, including discussion
17:16of his type 1 diabetes.
17:18In 2020, Gamble narrated adverts for second-hand car website Kazoo.
17:24Citation needed.
17:25In May, 2022, Gamble was announced as one of six rotating co-hosts.
17:31Gamble appeared with Acaster on the fifth series of Celebrity Hunted.
17:35Gamble escaped after Acaster goaded the hunters to the Taskmaster house and squirted them with
17:40a water gun.
17:41Gamble met with his wife and hid in a brewery and a climbing centre.
17:45Gamble done a book, titled Glutton, the multi-course life of a very greedy boy.
17:50Gamble, does the traitors.
17:52Uncloged.
17:53That's it, you're up to date with Ed Gambaccini.
17:56Porcini mushrooms, on toast with a spriggo dill yum yum.
18:00Yeah.
18:01That's for you.
18:02Thank you, Sarah.
18:03That's, that's for you.
18:06That Twix is for you.
18:07Thank you, I'll get my Twix.
18:09So there's a lot there.
18:10Um, I mean this diabetes, I know you've talked a lot about the diabetes.
18:14I have.
18:15Yeah, do you want to, I don't know.
18:16Do you want to talk about that?
18:17What would you like to know, Harry?
18:18Kind of the poster boy for, it seems to me for, uh.
18:21Yeah, that's not how I saw my career going, being the poster boy for type 1 diabetes.
18:24It's nice to have a second string though, something to fall back on.
18:26It is, and I feel like I don't really have an angle otherwise.
18:30Like I'm just, I'm just me, right?
18:32So it's nice to have, it's nice to have a way to come into things like I'm the diabetic viewpoint.
18:37Yeah, I wish I had something.
18:41I wish I had a, I don't know, I wouldn't say that.
18:43But that, I mean, joking apart, that is a big thing to have to cope with, right?
18:48Yeah, it's like having another full-time job, really.
18:51Because you've got to manage your blood glucose levels all the time and it can be affected by anything.
18:55But you know what?
18:56I've made some money out of it.
18:58Have you, yeah?
18:59Yeah, probably.
19:00So you, I suppose you can't do adverts for insulin, right?
19:03Or like...
19:04No, they don't tend to have adverts for insulin.
19:06Because we, we have the NHS, which is quite good, really.
19:10Maybe I could go over to the States and be the face, the face of insulin.
19:13Only $300 a vial.
19:16They'd be different like brands of...
19:18It's not like drink though, is it?
19:20It's not like drinks.
19:21A lot of people probably don't know what, um, diabetes is.
19:26Yes.
19:26But, uh, I don't think this is the place to...
19:31If we get Sarah back, I'm sure Sarah can help us.
19:33But as I said, I used to run a diabetic clinic when my previous job was the host of TV
19:39Burp.
19:40I used to...
19:42During the day I used to run a diabetes clinic.
19:46And it's all moved on, isn't it?
19:47It's all...
19:47In those days it was, you had to test your, prick your finger every five minutes and...
19:52Now I've just got a little, little thing in my arm and it, my phone tells me what my blood
19:57glucose levels are, which is pretty cool.
19:58Is that the same thing as that some of my wife's friends have got?
20:02Mm.
20:02Which is a thing which tells them what, um, like, uh, what they shouldn't eat and...
20:08Is that the same thing?
20:09Well, I, I'm quite angry about those things because I don't...
20:12That's things you don't need.
20:13What's it called?
20:13Those?
20:13Zoe patch.
20:14The Zoe patch, yeah.
20:15You don't need those if, if you have a working pancreas.
20:18And I think it's cultural appropriation.
20:21Yeah.
20:21Yeah.
20:22And it's the, yeah, because you're like a, you know, it's different species.
20:25It's sort of like a different species.
20:26I'm a different species.
20:27Yeah, yeah, yeah.
20:28I'm an advanced, I'm an advanced human sort of, sort of X-man, I want to say.
20:33Mm-hmm.
20:34And...
20:34Where man and machine...
20:36Yes.
20:36Uh, meld.
20:38Yeah.
20:39Yeah.
20:39But the Zoe patch, that is something to do with, I know one of her friends won't eat
20:43more than four Brazil nuts.
20:46I feel like that won't make a difference.
20:48But you hear people on Zoe patches say things like, and would you believe it?
20:51I ate a whole punnet of grapes and my blood glucose level went up.
20:53It's like, you need to go back to basics on everything.
20:57You don't need a Zoe patch.
20:58You need a, you need a book.
20:59It's people with too much time and money, probably, on their hands.
21:03Yeah.
21:04Uh, the, what do they call it?
21:05The something, the well, the sick well, or the something, the, um...
21:08Worried well.
21:09The worried well.
21:10Do they call it?
21:11I don't know, but it makes sense.
21:13I know, I know what you're saying with that phrase.
21:15Yeah.
21:15Well, that might be a, that might be a good name for a children's book.
21:18The worried well, about a well that was, be like Blanche the milk carton.
21:23I'd read that.
21:24Uh, you did a voiceover for the car website Kazoo.
21:29Yes.
21:29I'm all for that.
21:31Yeah.
21:32Uh, adverts, voiceovers.
21:34No shame in it.
21:35No, I didn't feel any shame actually.
21:37No.
21:37I'd be, you know, for, for a while, you know, it was the thing I was most known for.
21:41Would you like to hear me do it now?
21:42I would love it.
21:43I would love to.
21:44Kazoo.
21:44Yeah, you can.
21:45Is that you?
21:46Yeah, that's me.
21:47Wow.
21:47Kazoo.
21:47Yeah, you can.
21:48Now bankrupt.
21:53And then I have to, I've got to talk about this hunted.
21:56That was fantastic.
21:57That.
21:57That was so fun.
21:58Yeah.
21:58It was so funny.
21:59I mean, it was, was it fun?
22:01It was fun.
22:02It got a bit, it got a bit tiring after a few days, I think, cause they really do make
22:05you find out where you're going to sleep and you are on the run.
22:08And I think they got the production got a bit annoyed with us because we probably weren't
22:13taking it as seriously as they wanted us to take it.
22:15Well, as a viewer, it was really entertaining.
22:19Well, the first thing we did was went to a Michelin starred restaurant in Shrewsbury.
22:22I remember.
22:23Yeah.
22:23We, you escaped from Shrewsbury prison.
22:25We went straight to a restaurant and then we got a lift to Birmingham.
22:27James threw his shoes out the window.
22:29Uh, and then he had to walk through Birmingham town center in his bare feet.
22:32And then he, why did he do that?
22:34Um, cause they were traceable.
22:35Was he worried that they were going to trace?
22:36It was sort of, they were traceable and he wanted to, yeah, he didn't want to get picked
22:39up on CCTV.
22:40It's very James Acaster thing to do.
22:42Yeah.
22:43He's cutting his nose off to spite his face.
22:44Uh, and then we, we bought a wig.
22:46We went and bought a wig and then we slept in the Birmingham Glee club.
22:49It was a fantastic day.
22:52I talked to Tim Vine and I were going to do it talking about doing it.
22:55I would love that.
22:56But then I thought actually, what's the reality of it?
22:58Are you actually sleeping in a ditch or?
23:01Well, you can set up places to stay along the way.
23:03We did none of the pre prep that we were asked to do.
23:06Oh, they asked you to do pre prep.
23:07Yeah.
23:08Like to find contacts and then, but the, the problem is then they, the hunters could find
23:11those contacts.
23:12Yeah.
23:12They can trace you.
23:13So we were like, we're going to go jazz.
23:14And our plan was no plan because he would expect us to have no plan.
23:18And we went to Bristol.
23:20We got a James tattooed me in Bristol.
23:22We just had a wild, a wild seven days.
23:24And then we went to the taskmaster house and lured them there.
23:27Yeah.
23:27And what about food?
23:29And sort of, I was worried about the toilet with that, you know, where would you go to
23:33the toilet?
23:34Well, when you're out and about, we should talk about this afterwards.
23:38But when you're out and about Harry, you know, so you're not on the run, but you're just
23:42walking around, you're in London or whatever.
23:44Where'd you go to the toilet then?
23:46Uh, my club.
23:49But of course you couldn't go to your club when you're on the run.
23:52Cause that's the first place.
23:53They're going to look a member of the stork club, you know, the stork club in Mayfair.
23:58Um, well, this is excellent.
23:59And you have this, did the, how did the book do?
24:02Glutton.
24:03I think they were happy.
24:04The multi-course life of a very greedy boy.
24:06What's this greedy boy thing?
24:08I'm a greedy boy.
24:09Yeah?
24:09Yeah.
24:09I've made, aside from diabetes, I've made food my thing as well.
24:13So, um, you know, I was a bigger boy when I was little.
24:16You were so a bit tubby.
24:17Bit tubby, tubby boy.
24:18Are we still allowed to say tubby?
24:20I don't know.
24:21Well, I guess the best way to put it is I had curves that kill and I left lots of
24:24victims.
24:27Um, but so I, and then I lost a bit of weight and then I'm obsessed with food now.
24:31So this book was just me talking about my love of food.
24:34And it's, excuse me.
24:37It's the, it's the producer's glasses have fallen off.
24:44But, um, but you're right.
24:46I think how old, you know, Ed, do you mind me?
24:4739 years old.
24:49You're not quite old enough.
24:50But what I find is I get older is that is food is the, is the thing you think about.
24:55Yes.
24:56You know, all other pleasures have fallen by the wayside.
24:59And then the first thing when I wake up in the morning, the first thing I think is what's for
25:03dinner.
25:04Yeah.
25:04Do you have that?
25:05I know I have that after lunch.
25:07So if I wake up in the morning, I'm thinking about breakfast while I'm eating breakfast.
25:09I'm thinking about lunch when I'm eating lunch.
25:10I'm thinking about dinner, but you'll, you go straight to dinner.
25:15I, yeah, I do.
25:16Yeah.
25:16Well, because breakfast and lunch, you can't really at my age indulge on those things, except when you're on tour.
25:23Just one last thing.
25:24I did see these photographs for you on Instagram wrestling Phil Wang.
25:28Yes.
25:28We did a show called clash of the comics at the Hammersmith Apollo.
25:31Fantastic.
25:32It was so fun.
25:33It's the first time they've ever done comedian versus comedian for good reason.
25:36Cause I think normally they have a professional wrestler involved to make the comedian look good.
25:40There were some injuries.
25:41I understand there were, but not in our match.
25:43Hmm.
25:43There were two, two injuries in the matches before us.
25:46And people kept coming in and saying, this person's injured.
25:48And it was like, really?
25:50Yeah.
25:50It was really scary.
25:51Cause we were scared anyway.
25:52Yeah.
25:52And the two, the two girls that were injured are like athletic, really in shape.
25:56They trained really hard.
25:57And then me and Phil are in a wine club together.
26:01So we're sort of looking at each other and I like, we're going, this is not going to go well
26:04for us.
26:04Yeah.
26:05But those photos that you should, uh, seek out those photos because there's like one where Phil is seems to
26:10be flying through the air.
26:11Yeah.
26:11We did a lot of, we did a lot, a lot of big moves.
26:13He suplexed me from the top rope.
26:14He did a superplex.
26:15So did you have to learn these?
26:17Yeah, we did.
26:18We sort of, we had to choreograph it.
26:20Oh really?
26:20Yeah.
26:20But you never really do it in the ring properly until the night.
26:23And then the impact is quite hard.
26:24The first heard it's quite hard.
26:26It's not like a, so it's not like, it's not like a sort of memory foam, uh, surface.
26:30It's sort of, it's, it's not soft.
26:32It's like there's all wooden boards under there, but they're sprung.
26:35So you, you hit them and it makes them, it makes a massive noise, but it's a big, it's a
26:38big old thunk.
26:38Hahahaha.
26:41Hahahaha.
26:41Harry Hill Show!
26:45Feeling peckish?
26:47Fancious snack?
26:48Well just 200 yards from this pot-scarf, you'll find the Stuffin' Quack Hotel and Restaurant.
26:53The finest dining out spot in the area.
26:56Sample a wide range of food from all around the world.
26:59Chinese, Thai, sausages, burgers, kebabs, pies, trifled, eggs, dough balls, maxi barn,
27:08calipo shots, sherry undraft. Also, unlock your phone. Trained locksmith and shoe repairer on
27:13site. Experience a warm welcome when you step into the Stuff and Quack Hotel and Restaurants,
27:1814 Skurf Street. What three words? Silled, skurf, scab. Carry-outs available. Cash only.
27:24Phone 048567256 and ask for Karen.
27:30It's time for our theme of the week.
27:37Orangutans. Orangutans. I've always said orangutans, but there's no G. And we're joined by Helen
27:44Buckland of the Sumatran Orangutan Society, working at the cutting edge of orangutan conservation.
27:53Welcome, Helen. Thank you very much. Do you know Ed Gamble? I do now. Hi, Helen. Hi, Ed.
27:58Oh, you didn't know him before? Never heard of him. I don't get out much. Oh, okay. So,
28:04you know much about orangutans? Is it tans? Orangutans? Orangutans, yes. Tans. Yes, yeah.
28:10I'm a big fan. I'm an orangutan fan, for sure. When I was growing up, they were, I think,
28:16my favourite animal. I had two cuddly orangutans called Bobby and Softie. I don't know if you know
28:21those guys. But Softie, unfortunately, he still lives in my mum's attic. But I don't know if this
28:28is something that affects the orangutan community as a whole. But, you know, Stretch Armstrong?
28:33I'm not very familiar.
28:34Yeah. Stretch Armstrong burst and it's full of glue. And some of it got in Softie's hair,
28:39so he had to shave his head. Oh, right. Yeah. Yeah. I often wondered what was inside Stretch Armstrong.
28:48Yeah. I always wanted to know, but they were quite expensive and you wouldn't burst one
28:51deliberately. Yeah, I stepped on it. Really? Yeah. You were tubby, weren't you?
28:57Not many people heavy enough to burst an Armstrong. Anyway, we're trying to talk about orangutans
29:03with Helen. Sorry. I just wanted to get all my knowledge out there. Yeah. No, it's interesting
29:07because, you know, it's completely random, the theme. I didn't know that you had this
29:11interest. Yes. So that's a perfect bit of chemistry. We do have an orangutan, an animated
29:16orangutan called Armstrong, so. There you go. Yeah. Go on.
29:24It was a lovely little animation that we did. It was voiced by Bill Bailey as a...
29:31That's a fundraising campaign that we did a few years ago. It's a good name for an orangutan.
29:36But I'm going to start with just some basic questions, Helen, because, you know, we know
29:41roughly what the demographic is on the people listening. What is an orangutan? I always like
29:49to start with a very basic question, just broadly.
29:52A orangutan. A orangutan is a species of great ape, a primate. Right. They are large arboreal
30:00tree-dwelling mammals that live on two islands in Indonesia. Oh, they only live? I didn't
30:05know that. They only live on two islands. Yeah, just on Sumatra and Borneo. Right. Okay.
30:09So you wouldn't get them in, for instance, Africa. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going
30:16to go through all the different countries. Just those two islands. I didn't know. So they live
30:21in trees. They ever come down? Not in Sumatra, because in Sumatra, they share their habitat
30:25with tigers. So they're quite clever and they stay up in the trees. Whereas in Borneo, there
30:30aren't any tigers anymore. And you occasionally get the Borneo and orangutan will come down
30:34to the ground. Oh, okay. But they wouldn't normally choose to come down. No, not usually.
30:38You sometimes see them on the ground. If they're orangutans that used to be pets and have been
30:43released back to the wild, then they don't behave in the same way as wild orangutans and they
30:47may come down. Oh, I see. Right. Yeah. Do they make good pets? No.
30:50I am. Strong anti-recommend. Yeah. Why didn't they make? Because they would take your arms
30:57off. They're very, very strong. Yeah. Would you say aggressive or? They would be, yeah. In
31:04the wild, if you get between a mother orangutan and her baby. Well, I wouldn't do that.
31:07I mean, that's pretty pace. I wouldn't do that. No. But I might approach a juvenile male with
31:17a banana. With a banana. Click that up. I might approach a juvenile male with a banana or something.
31:25That actually brings us on to my next question. What do they eat, the orangutans?
31:29Well, they will eat a banana if offered. They'll eat hundreds of different species of plants. They'll
31:35eat a bit of bark, leaves, ants, that sort of thing. Well, I guess if you're in a tree,
31:41that's what's available. Yeah, basically. Right? Yes. Yeah. So, would they have one tree that they
31:47live in or would they have like, are they territorial or? They've got really large home
31:52ranges and females and males will have overlapping but different home ranges. They don't live in
31:58families like the other great apes, like chimps and gorillas. They're quite solitary.
32:01Oh. So, they travel around the forest and they make a new nest in the trees every night.
32:07Okay. So, the nest, when you say, what they would sort of, what, twigs and feathers and
32:13that? Would it be? I don't know about feathers. They sort of bend and break branches and they've
32:18been seen to put roofs over their nests if it's raining. Raining. Like nice big, big leaves.
32:23Fantastic. And they put leaves that have anti-mosquito properties around as well to keep the bugs
32:29Yeah. So, they're smart. Do we know? Yeah, go on. Did you have a question?
32:33No, I was saying that's very clever. I was agreeing that they're clever guys.
32:37Do we have a rough idea of their intelligence, you know, on a level of, I don't know, if you've
32:42got something like a mouse? And then you've got, right up the top, you've got, what's the
32:49most cleverest thing? Horse? What? Why's that funny? Why's that funny? I don't know, a dog then.
32:57Are we just counting humans? No, not humans, obviously. Yeah. Well, okay, we can include
33:02it. We can open it up. Yeah. So, humans, where roughly would they be? Probably nearer the
33:08human end than the dog or mouse end. They can communicate using sign language if they've
33:13been taught by humans. Do they? They can do, yeah. Right. Well, it's their own sign language
33:17or stuff we've taught them? Stuff we've taught them. Okay, right.
33:24So, I'm interested to hear that they live on their own. So, when a mummy orangutan
33:29has a baby, what's this like, off you go? No. Well, they actually have the longest kind
33:37of mother-infant association, I suppose, in the animal kingdom. I don't know, I lived
33:42at home for a long time. Yeah. Other than humans, I suppose. Yeah. I've got a 20, had
33:48a 28-year-old was at home. Yeah. Until recently. Very orangutan coded. Yeah. Babies will stay
33:56with the mums for seven or eight years, which is way longer than any other. Oh, so when you
34:00say they're solitary? Unless it's a mother with a, with a youngster. Okay. And, um, so that's,
34:09so that's sweet, isn't it? Uh, what's, roughly what size is an orangutan? I mean, they're
34:15quite, I mean, I'm just thinking the one, whenever I think of an orangutan, I'm thinking
34:18of Clint Eastwood in that lorry with that, uh, orangutan. Do you know that film? Yeah. Every which
34:25way? Was it Clyde? Clyde. Yes. Clyde. Yeah. I don't know if that was his real name. Uh, that
34:33was the character he was playing. Clyde doesn't strike me as a Bornean name. So they're big
34:39things, right? They can be. The males are huge. Yeah. But how big? Well, their arm span can
34:45be about two metres. Wow. It's about two. A bit more than that. And they have that big
34:54sort of, I'm going to say sort of dish-like face. Yeah. Is there a reason for that? Was
34:58that so they can catch biscuits? Not biscuits. Not biscuits, obviously. But like nuts. Brazil
35:05nuts or something. I don't think it's that. Don't be careful with Brazil nuts though. You
35:10can only have four. You can only have four, yeah. It's only the alpha males in an area that
35:19will have the big flanges that they call those cheek pads. Oh really? Yeah. So the female
35:24looks different to that. Yes. The females don't have those and kind of lesser males or adolescent
35:30males don't have them. And then once they fight for the top spot in an area of forest,
35:35then they'll start developing those. Right. Okay. And what would you be looking for if you
35:39were a male as far as sort of, you say the top spot, what would be the features that you
35:46were looking for in the top spot? You're thinking like a big tree? Not the biggest tree,
35:53the juiciest tree. Sure. Your pick of the females I think is how it goes. Now to be serious for
36:01a
36:01moment, Helen, they are under threat, aren't they? They are. They are critically endangered.
36:06Yeah. Are critically endangered. So how many orangutans have we got left now? So there's
36:11around 14,000 Sumatra and orangutans. 14,000? Yep. And how many were there before you started
36:21trying to save them? Just trying to get a gauge of how effective the charity is. Well,
36:27that's a difficult question to answer because they keep finding new populations for orangutans in areas
36:34of forest that they didn't know they used to live in. So actually the population compared to the number
36:42was thought to be about 20 years ago is higher. But if you had checked those bits of forest 20
36:48years
36:48ago, it would have been... Oh, okay. So someone wasn't doing their job. The enemy of the orangutan is
36:53development. Do they take the deforestation? Yes, yes. And the tiger, I guess. Also that,
36:59but orangutans are quite wise to the tigers and they stay up. We're not suggesting that we cull the
37:04tigers? No. What's the life cycle of the orangutan? How old do they live to? Well, they live to about
37:1045
37:11in the wild or older in captivity. So you live up longer if you're in a cage worth? Sometimes.
37:20No? Something to think about. Because you get the vets. You've got that private health care. Yeah,
37:24presumably unlimited food and you don't get other males trying to come in and take your territory.
37:28So these fights, would an orangutan kill another orangutan? I don't think that's been recorded,
37:36but you have seen orangutans injuring each other and they find medicinal plants and sort of chew
37:43them up and put sort of a poultice on their wounds. There's a film on Netflix that you can see
37:48that.
37:48That's fantastic. Okay. Well, look, Helen, it's been wonderful talking to you. Is there a website or a
37:54book or something we should be? Yeah, absolutely. We'd love people to go and have a look on our
37:58website. It's orangutans-sos.org or follow us on social media. We've got a really interesting
38:04series of posts on Saturdays. On Science Saturday, it's lots of interesting facts about orangutans and
38:09forests and why they're worth protecting. Is there a web, you know, like sometimes they have a webcam
38:13where you, in a tree where you can observe a orangutan in its nest? We haven't got a live one,
38:18but we do have camera traps up all over the forest. Got some great footage in just earlier today,
38:23actually. So we'll be getting that up onto our socials next week. So it's always worth following
38:26and you can see the latest. Lovely. Well, Helen, thanks so much. So that was our theme of the week.
38:34It's time to play Name the Seed.
38:42What do you like on gardening and horticulture, Ed? I don't think I'm particularly good on gardening.
38:47Do you have a garden? I have a garden. I'd say very, very overgrown. It's mainly sort of a jungle
38:52with a barbecue in the middle of it, I'd say. Right. Okay. Well, look, I have a Ziploc bag
39:00containing, sealed Ziploc bag containing, which was also once housed a kid's Mexican poncho.
39:10Housing a box of seeds. Can you see how many, just verify how many seeds?
39:148,000, over 8,000 seeds. Over 8,000, yeah.
39:17Seeds. And in here, individual sachets containing various seeds. I'm going to select one at random.
39:25That one. Yeah, why not? And I'm going to load it onto the seed display unit.
39:32And we're going to, you're going to attempt to name the seed.
39:36Fantastic.
39:36For anyone watching at home who doesn't want to know what the seed is, look away now.
39:45Let's just select that seed.
39:47So these are planting seeds rather than, like, edible seeds, I would, I think I'd be good at guessing.
39:51Uh, might be edible.
39:52Oh. Okay.
39:54If you're fishing for clues, these...
39:56Just so you know, I know this is a bit of fun, but I'm very competitive, so I'm going to
39:59be gutted if I don't get this right.
40:00It's fine. It's fine. I prefer you, you took it seriously.
40:02I'm going to place the seed on the seed display unit, and you are going...
40:06Now, the seed will rise to eye level.
40:10You're going to look at the seed, and you're going to attempt to name it.
40:13Or, if you're not happy with that seed, you can at any point change the seed, but only once.
40:18Okay.
40:18Okay, and points will be gutted.
40:32So, what are you seeing, Ed?
40:34May I approach?
40:35Please.
40:36yeah i'm seeing uh a round a round seed yes very round sort of uh maybe a quarter of a
40:45ball bearing
40:45size um i'd say shape-wise yeah shape-wise it reminds me of a poppy seed slightly bigger
40:53okay but it's not are you saying puppies no i'm not because it's certainly not the hue of a poppy
40:58seed it's brown um it's like a sort of light dark brown like yeah mahogany maybe mahogany mahogany
41:06dashboard um are you happy to name the seed or would you prefer to change as a seed change the
41:13seed see mustard seeds are yellow aren't they so maybe must the seed is a bit of a are you
41:19saying
41:19must no i'm not saying mustard seed i'm going to change the seat he's going to change the seed
41:25change the seed for anyone watching at home it doesn't want to know the seed look away now
41:37oh dear i'm gonna pop that on there and name the seed that's bigger isn't it it is bigger
41:47oh i think i've he might have i might have left it here it looks like a little bit of
41:53ginger
41:54it's sort of hairy oh i'm gonna sort of crinkled it's got a crinkled but it's not it's not a
42:01crinkle cut crisp seed is it are you saying am i saying it's potato when it reaches potato you've
42:11got until that reaches the am i just gonna say potato it looks horrible it looks hairy um potato
42:22hey they didn't even grow from c so they could take it i panicked you just go from it's not
42:29it's not the potato i'm afraid ed i'm so sorry uh yeah take it away with me you take it
42:34away with
42:34it you plant it and then when it comes up you'll find out what they're seeing it's just to try
42:41and
42:41get people to connect more with the land yeah i understand because you know in our modern lives
42:47we're just completely divorced from the land do you garden harry and i wouldn't no i've got a leaf blower
42:58i've got a leaf blower and one of those uh patio you know the
43:03pick up the dog muck yeah that gardening yeah picking up dog muck yeah that was name the seed
43:20gary's joke corner it's gary's joke corner now as you know i'm retiring in 2030 that is my intention
43:28uh and i've got uh i'm handing the business over to my son gary to take over that's the idea
43:33anyway
43:35don't make that noise gary it limits your appeal um so ed he needs jokes yes do you perhaps have
43:44a
43:44joke that you'd like to um you know like an old perhaps an old joke that you used to tell
43:47as a child
43:48or you know what's one of your favorite jokes is not too rude we should have perhaps given you some
43:53morning on this um because he needs jokes for his do you want my favorite my favorite joke
43:59growing up it's quite it's quite a long one great love a long joke shaggy dog yeah yeah yeah although
44:05it was it is a it's the format of english irishman and scotsman that's okay that's frowned upon now
44:11isn't it is that all right yeah we're fine with how about i switch it so the englishman is the
44:15stupid
44:15one uh mate well so it's two nice people we like and one we don't like well two clever two
44:21cleverer
44:22people and then one idiot at the end uh so uh princess and prince edward and prince andrew okay i
44:29should
44:29sort it
44:33so um they all die and they go to heaven um sorry to hear that yeah
44:40and there's a magic slide and god says to them there's a magic slide there you slide down it and
44:45whatever you shout on the way down you land in a pool of it at the end right and princess
44:49anne
44:51um shouts champagne when she's going down lands in a big pool of champagne she's happy about that
44:55prince edward he goes money and he lands in a big pool of money and prince andrew gets on and
45:00he goes on the slide he goes wee
45:04yeah great it's not bad there was a few few changes i like that one i've got a joke daddy
45:10i've got a joke daddy have you gary yes yes yeah daddy i had a box of celebrations you know
45:16the
45:16miniature versions of your favorite chocolate bars yes i do gary i did a joke at the club and it
45:23went
45:23okay in fact a few people clapped small ripple no a crunchy i think i think you're thinking of heroes
45:33gary because celebrations only have snickers mars twix bounty galaxy galaxy caramel more teaser teaser
45:41uh milky way oh what do celebrations have then well they have dairy milk dairy milk caramel fudge
45:48whisper twirl and eclairs along with other chocolates like crunchy bits stinky decker and cream egg twisted
45:55must have been a mixer
45:58that's the sound that tells me it's the end of the pod scarf so all that remains is to thank
46:03our expert
46:04helen buckland from the uh samaritan orangutan society and of course our special guest ed gamble
46:15butterfly in blue jeans hamster in a ship on top puppy in a poncho fluffy duckling with a bob
46:27butterfly in blue jeans these are the things of our dreams
46:38these are the things these are the things good night everyone thanks for listening see you next time
46:44the time of our dreams
46:56Harry Hill Show
46:58Help, help me
47:02It's the Harry Hill Show
47:09Harry Hill Show
47:10It's the Harry Hill Show
47:14Harry Hill Show
47:19Harry Hill Show
Comments