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Late Night with Seth Meyers - Season 13 - Episode 10: Channing Tatum, Megan Moroney, Jean-Georges Vongerichten
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00:30This is a late night. We hope you're doing well.
00:31And now, if you don't mind, I'm going to get to the news.
00:34It's officially been one year since President Trump
00:36returned to the White House, and I'll be celebrating
00:39with the traditional first-anniversary gift, paper.
00:45President Trump released a video last week calling on Congress
00:48to pass his great health care plan and said, quote,
00:51under this policy, the prices of many drugs
00:53will be slashed by 300, 400, and even 500%.
00:57Once again, 100% is the most you can lower a price.
01:02How did you ever run a casino?
01:04Oh, right, briefly.
01:08President Trump promoted a book on Sunday called
01:10The Invisible Coup, how American elites and foreign powers
01:13use immigration as a weapon.
01:15It was a long read, but I finished the whole thing,
01:17said Trump about the title.
01:21Vice President J.D. Vance and Second Lady Usha Vance
01:24are set next month to attend the opening ceremony
01:26of the Winter Olympics, partly as a diplomatic move
01:28and partly to shop for new countries to threaten.
01:33First Lady Melania Trump spoke last week
01:35at an event hosted by the video call service Zoom,
01:38kind of surprising for someone who's spent
01:40the last 10 years on mute.
01:45The NFL has announced that the band Green Day
01:47will perform in the opening ceremony of Super Bowl 60.
01:50That's right, just another 60-year-old using Green Day
01:52to try to look cool.
01:56Heinz has unveiled a fry box with a built-in ketchup compartment
02:00called the Heinz Dipper.
02:02That would be pretty cool until the fourth or fifth time
02:04you knock your fries over.
02:05Why do I want to play Jenga with my fries?
02:09I'll just smooth out my burger wrapper
02:11and spray a big pile of ketchup on that,
02:13like a normal person.
02:16Finally, the company that makes the plant-based Beyond Meat
02:19has released a new protein drink.
02:21Finally, a drink with no meat in it.
02:28And that was a monologue, everybody!
02:33Got a great show for you tonight.
02:35He's a fantastic actor you know from films
02:38such as Sling Blade, Bad Santa, and Friday Night Lights,
02:41as well as shows like Goliath and Fargo.
02:43Currently, he's starring in Landman.
02:45The second season is streaming now on Paramount+.
02:48Billy Bob Thornton is here, everybody!
02:52She is a talented comedian and actress you know
02:55from her eight-season run on Saturday Night Live,
02:57as well as her work on Apple TV's Shrinking.
02:59She is now making her Broadway debut
03:02in All Out comedy about ambition
03:03at the Nederlander Theater.
03:05Heidi Gardner is back in the building, everybody!
03:09And she is a best-selling author and cook,
03:11who will be here to whip up some amazing sandwiches for us.
03:14Molly Baez will also be joining us.
03:17Family trips this week.
03:18Tony Goldwyn and Anna Muskie Goldwyn.
03:21It was a great conversation, you guys, moving on.
03:23Donald Trump just can't stop himself
03:25from talking to the press and saying crazy things.
03:28With that in mind, let's take a look at some of those things
03:30in a segment we're calling Talking Trump.
03:36During a recent press conference, President Trump called
03:39Deputy White House Chief of Staff Stephen Miller
03:41a, quote, MVP candidate.
03:43It stands for most vampire-like person.
03:46Leave him alone!
03:49Excuse me?
03:50Leave him alone!
03:52Haven't we made fun of Stephen Miller enough?
03:55Oh, he's a public figure, so I think it is okay
03:59to make jokes about him.
04:00Leave him alone!
04:02Poor guy.
04:03He's just doing the best he can.
04:05The last thing he needs after a long day
04:07of whispering evil things in the president's ear
04:09is to turn on the TV and see you making fun of him.
04:13Leave him alone!
04:15I'm sorry, are you a Stephen Miller supporter?
04:18If I'm a supporter of anything, it's kindness, compassion,
04:23not mean-spirited jokes.
04:25If you have to make fun of somebody, make fun of me!
04:27Oh, I don't even know you.
04:28I mean, why would I make fun of you?
04:30Well, you could make fun of the fact that my nose hair
04:32is so long it tickles the back of my throat.
04:36Oh, I don't want to joke about that.
04:39I usually just tell jokes about people who are in the news,
04:41you know, people like Stephen Miller.
04:42Oh, sure. Make fun of Stephen Miller.
04:45Have your fun.
04:46Go ahead and say he looks like a smooth testicle in a suit.
04:51Well, that's kind of harsh.
04:52I know, so leave him alone!
04:55If you want somebody to joke about, you can joke about me.
04:58How about this?
04:59You can make fun of the fact that my Netflix password
05:02is don't eat that donut to remind myself
05:04not to eat so many donuts.
05:06But it only makes me want more donuts!
05:10That's really just not something I would make a joke about.
05:12Because it's a serious problem.
05:16No.
05:17Okay. Can you hold on to that? Thanks.
05:21How about this?
05:23You can make fun of the fact that I'm participating in dry January.
05:26I haven't used any skin lotion all month.
05:30And now my hands are a musical instrument.
05:37Can you just please stop?
05:39Only if you leave Stephen Miller alone.
05:41So, are you gonna?
05:43Gonna what?
05:44Leave him alone!
05:46If you want somebody to make fun of, make fun of me.
05:49You make fun of the fact that I still don't have plans for New Year's Eve.
05:53New Year's was almost a month ago.
05:55Oh, no, I missed it?
05:57Yeah.
05:58Happy New Year!
06:00Who wants to kiss?
06:01No, don't kiss anyone!
06:04Oh, right, because I want my first kiss to be special.
06:08How about something else to joke about?
06:10You can make fun of the fact that I'm trying out a new exercise routine
06:13where I jog in the park.
06:15Oh, okay.
06:15Well, that actually sounds normal.
06:16No, I'm sorry.
06:17I misspoke.
06:18I jig in the park.
06:20You jig?
06:21Yes.
06:22Like this.
06:48What's that, Seth?
06:49You want more jig?
06:50Okay.
06:52Come on, everybody!
06:54Jig with me!
07:01All right!
07:02That's enough!
07:04I just want to get back to my show, man.
07:07Okay, okay.
07:10But what if you wanted to joke about this?
07:12You can make fun of the fact that I can read your mind.
07:14Oh, really?
07:15What am I thinking?
07:16All right, that's enough.
07:17I just want to get back to my show.
07:18Oh, yeah, that was actually...
07:19That was what I was thinking.
07:21What are you thinking?
07:21What?
07:22Do you know what I'm thinking?
07:24Oh, uh, yeah.
07:25Oh, you're thinking, I'm not in good shape.
07:26I should do more cardio before I dance a jig on national television.
07:31Very true.
07:32And I'm also thinking this.
07:34Leave him alone!
07:35That's enough!
07:36Get out of here!
07:37Fine, I'll go.
07:38But remember, everyone, exercise is important.
07:45And...
07:47Mean, old jokes.
07:49Also, don't eat a donut right before you do that.
07:54Mean, old jokes.
07:55You can't believe how happy they were that you danced.
07:59You know what?
08:00I was expecting it.
08:02I bet they'd love for you to do a little bit more.
08:17All right, all right, finish!
08:30And now we're going to end the sketch.
08:32I think it ended a while ago.
08:35Did it ever start?
08:39Before I go, please, everyone, remember.
08:43Slower!
08:48Before I go.
08:53Remember, everyone.
08:56Mean, old jokes is something I don't condone.
09:00Either make fun of me or just leave them alone.
09:03Wink!
09:05We'll be right back with Billy Bob Gordon, everyone!
09:26We'll be right back with Billy Bob Gordon.
09:28Our first guest tonight is an Academy Award-winning actor
09:31and filmmaker you know from films like Sling Blade,
09:34A Simple Plan, Bad Santa, Primary Colors,
09:37and Friday Night Lights,
09:38as well as shows such as Goliath and Fargo.
09:40He currently stars in Landman.
09:42Season 2 is streaming now on Paramount Plus.
09:45Let's take a look.
09:46Well, God, you got anything else?
09:48Just dump it the down on me.
09:49Just give it to me, all right?
10:11Son of a...
10:12Son of a...
10:40That was Logan.
10:42Oh, my God.
10:44I'm dirty.
10:46Please welcome back to the show our friend Billy Bob Norton, everybody.
11:09Hello, my friend. How are you?
11:11I'm good, man. How are you doing?
11:12I'm doing really well. I want to talk about Landman.
11:15Before we get to it, you're a football fan?
11:17Yes.
11:18You're a Colts fan.
11:19Yes, I'm a Colts fan. It was good for half of the season.
11:22It was a really nice start to think.
11:23You're shooting Landman near Odessa, Texas, which is where you shot the wonderful film Friday Night Lights.
11:29Right.
11:30I'm wondering, have you shot in any of the same locations?
11:32Have you run into people you met on that film?
11:34Yeah, actually, yeah, we shot the first season of Landman. We mainly shoot around Fort Worth, in and around Fort
11:41Worth.
11:42But we were out in Odessa for a few days, and we actually shot a couple of scenes at the
11:47stadium where we did Friday Night Lights.
11:48And I kind of got a chill when I got there. But there were a lot of background actors, obviously,
11:54because it's a football game.
11:58And some of them would come up to me like, you know, a 25-year-old guy would come up
12:01to me and his sister or something and say, you know, our dad was an extra in Friday Night Lights
12:08and stuff.
12:08So it was like the next generation of background actors.
12:13And we were shooting on the 20-year anniversary of Friday Night Lights when we were out there. Yeah.
12:19You talk about getting chills. I think a lot of people got chills.
12:24You know, the halftime speech, you know, look, you've had a lot of iconic moments in film.
12:29But, like, that's really right up there is one of the more heart-pounding.
12:33Did you know when you were shooting it? Are you like, oh, this is a good one right here?
12:38You kind of know, but you never know what the audience is going to think.
12:42I mean, even when you're in the middle of something you think is...
12:45When you think you're awesome, you know?
12:48Well, that is, I will say, yeah.
12:51But, no, I mean, usually you kind of have an idea that this might be special.
12:57And that particular monologue, I had just gone through a thing that was not easy to deal with.
13:03And I asked Pete Berg, the director, I said, look, do you care if I kind of go off the
13:08page a little on this one?
13:10And I did.
13:11So all that stuff about if you can look your teammate in the eye and be there 100% and
13:17tell them that, you know, that you're honest with them and that you're there for them.
13:21Whether you win or lose, if you can look each other in the eye and know that you're there for
13:26each other, that was all stuff that I said from something that happened the day before.
13:30That's unbelievable.
13:32And I would, I would just say as well, usually, usually when actors say I want to go off the
13:39page, it's a disaster.
13:40So.
13:42It's serious.
13:43You have a writing background, so it helps.
13:45Yeah.
13:45Well, you know, it's funny because I worked with an actor years and years ago, back in the mid-90s.
13:51And I talked to the director and I said, you know, I think this scene, it shouldn't be I wait
13:57for your line, you wait for my line.
13:58It should be kind of messy, you know, and we did a take.
14:01And this actor said to me, man, that was awesome.
14:04He goes, can we write that down?
14:05I said, well, that defeats the whole purpose.
14:09That's the point is you don't write it down.
14:11But anyway, it was a good actor.
14:13He just couldn't improvise.
14:15You also have another film of yours.
14:17I love Primary Colors, directed by the late, great Mike Nichols.
14:20Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
14:20And, you know, I only crossed paths with Mike once, but it was everything I wanted to be.
14:27How was working with him?
14:28I mean, it must have been something else.
14:30Well, it's awesome.
14:30You know, he was iconic.
14:32And Elaine May, who was his partner, wrote the screenplay.
14:37Yeah.
14:37And she was there all the time.
14:38And for the younger folk, they won't remember this, but it was even before my day, which
14:44is a long time ago.
14:49But they were, you know, Mike Nichols and Elaine May were a comedy duo.
14:54And they were brilliant.
14:55So we got to actually witness it, you know, right there in person every day.
14:59Yeah.
14:59And the funny thing about Mike, he, if a director yells at somebody, you know, it's kind of like,
15:08eh, come on, don't yell.
15:09But it was a hell of a lot better than what Mike did, because it really just took you down
15:14to that.
15:15One day, we were shooting a scene, and we wore suits mostly in the thing, you know.
15:22And I was doing a big scene with Travolta and Kathy Bates and a bunch of people and Emma
15:27Thompson.
15:29And somehow, when I was in the trailer, I forgot to put my tie on, and the wardrobe people
15:37didn't notice it either.
15:38And we're halfway through the scene, and it was going very well, swimmingly.
15:43And I guess the script supervisor must have said to Mike, he doesn't have his tie on and
15:49it has to match this other scene.
15:52And all you hear from back in the darkness by the monitor, you hear Mike go, oh, come
15:57on.
16:00You know?
16:02But, uh...
16:03Did you have a moment where you're like, oh, I hope that, oh, come on, wasn't about
16:05me?
16:06Oh, it was.
16:07Yeah.
16:10Uh, Landman, fantastic.
16:12Season two, I mean, I feel like I can say, you know, you end up out of a job.
16:16Yeah.
16:16And I'm just wondering, have you, Billy Bep Thornton, have you ever been fired in real life?
16:22I've quit more than I've been fired.
16:25Gotcha.
16:25Uh, but, uh, yeah, I'm trying to think back.
16:29I mean, I had some crummy jobs, I mean, over the years.
16:32Uh, when I first got out of high school, I worked at a machine shop running a drill
16:35press.
16:36My first job was hauling hay.
16:38Then I went to a sawmill.
16:39And I have to do this because it's just too funny to me to not do it.
16:43But you know what that is?
16:45That's a sawmill worker ordering five beers.
16:49Anyway, so...
16:54I'm glad you got out. I'm glad you got out.
16:57But, yeah, I just, I never really got fired.
17:00Yeah.
17:00But I did quit a few times just because I was a long-haired hippie kid who didn't want
17:06to work.
17:06Yeah, well, there you go.
17:07I'm glad you found your way into something you enjoy doing.
17:09We had your co-star, Ally Larder, was here last week.
17:13And it turns out shooting Landman Not Without Risk, she was saying she did a scene with you
17:17where she had to get emotional and it was easy because while, during the scene, fire ants
17:21were just biting her feet.
17:22Yes.
17:23And did you know about this or did she share that with you?
17:25Oh, she shares everything.
17:29See, there's not much that she doesn't tell me.
17:33Yeah, we were doing this very emotional scene.
17:36It's the last scene of the season.
17:37Yeah.
17:38And we're standing there at the fence out there and the coyote comes up and all this.
17:44And she goes, babe, these fire ants are eating me alive.
17:49And I said, okay, well, I don't know what to do about it.
17:52I mean, you don't have any shoes on.
17:54Yeah.
17:54So, you know, they just exist here.
17:57Yeah.
17:58I mean, I told one of the guys, one of the grips, I said, do you think you could get
18:02maybe a quarter apple box or something for her?
18:04And it's like, well, no, because then she'll look like she's 6'3".
18:09Yeah.
18:09So you just had to let the fire ants have their day.
18:12Yeah.
18:12I think it worked out okay for her.
18:15She did say, she had wonderful things to say about you, but she did say Sam Elliott,
18:20who joined the show, plays your father.
18:22She said he's the most popular guy on set.
18:24What do you think about that?
18:25She's in for it.
18:26Yeah.
18:26Yeah.
18:27You don't care for that kind of talk?
18:29That's really mean.
18:30She's my wife.
18:32No, Sam is the greatest.
18:35Yeah.
18:35I mean, when Sam comes around, everybody loves him.
18:38He's just, he's an icon and we all love him so much.
18:42And I go back to the late 80s with Sam.
18:44So he's been a mentor and an inspiration to me for years and years and years.
18:49And we worked together twice before this, but now I get to see him on a daily basis.
18:54Yeah.
18:55And it just, it thrills everybody that he's there.
18:57I, you know, I was told today that you guys had worked together in the wonderful film,
19:02Tombstone.
19:03And I kind of forgot that you were in Tombstone.
19:06Because you look a great deal different.
19:07Yes.
19:07And you're, you know, you kind of get, you know, you kind of get knocked around a little
19:11bit.
19:11And that's not the Billy Bob I'm used to seeing.
19:13That's right.
19:14Yeah.
19:14Yeah.
19:14Kurt Russell slapped the piss out of him.
19:16Yeah.
19:17Uh, but, uh, and you know, it's funny.
19:21That was when I, if I ever see a picture of those days, this is back, you know, when
19:25you're a younger actor, you're like, well, I'm going to gain 75 pounds for this.
19:30And the next time I'm going to do this and whatever, I'll cut my own cheek, you know,
19:35that kind of thing.
19:35After a while, as you get older, you stop doing that stuff.
19:39But, uh, for Tombstone and U-Turn, a movie I did with Sean Penn years ago, uh, uh, I gained
19:4760 pounds.
19:49And then I was in a movie called Pushing 10 about air traffic controllers.
19:53And, uh, it actually, uh, was about Newark right down the road here.
19:57And, uh, uh, I got down to 128.
20:00Like for instance, now I weigh probably 143, 144.
20:03I weighed 128.
20:04Wow.
20:05So I stopped doing that.
20:07Yeah.
20:07Because it does not feel good.
20:09No.
20:09Yeah.
20:10Uh, yeah, not worth it.
20:11No.
20:12Also, we like the way you look right now.
20:14Well, thank you very much.
20:15Yeah.
20:15Well, I mean...
20:16We're very happy with that.
20:18Um, also your band, uh, Boxmasters, is playing Stagecoach.
20:21Uh, fantastic.
20:22Are you excited about that?
20:23Yeah, I am.
20:24Yeah, we've never played Stagecoach.
20:25And Stagecoach, I mean, you know, we're a rock and roll band.
20:28But, uh, I mean, the last tour we opened for The Who.
20:31So it's like...
20:31And, uh, Stagecoach is known as a country festival.
20:35But now they're mixing it up.
20:37They're having rock and roll bands and country bands.
20:39And we play Stagecoach April 25th.
20:42That's fantastic.
20:42Well, we're very happy you're keeping busy.
20:44It's always the best to see you, Billy.
20:46Hey, you too, man.
20:46Thank you, man.
20:47Good to see you, buddy.
20:47Billy Bob Thornton, everyone.
20:49Second season for Landman to Sleepy Now.
20:51Paramount Plus.
20:51Stick around.
20:52We'll be right back with Heidi Gardner.
21:12Welcome back over to our next guest.
21:14A talented comedian and actress you know from her eight seasons
21:16on SNL and the series shrinking on Apple TV.
21:19She's currently making her Broadway debut in All Out.
21:21Comedy about ambition at the Nederlander Theatre.
21:24Please welcome back to the show our friend Heidi Gardner,
21:26everybody.
21:42Hello, Heidi. How are you?
21:45I'm good. There's Wally.
21:46Yeah, there's Wally.
21:47Cue Card Wally is here.
21:48There's a lot of old touchstones here.
21:50I know.
21:50There's a lot, and I'm going to not cry.
21:52Okay.
21:52Oh, yeah.
21:52I always cry when I see Wally because I'm like,
21:54oh.
21:56Oh, I forget he still works here.
21:58No.
21:59But it's interesting because, like, so, you know, Wally,
22:02you and I both obviously did most of our work at SNL.
22:05And, like, you know, one of the things about people who know
22:07about cue cards is, like, you don't have to memorize your lines
22:11on SNL.
22:11No.
22:12And now you're on Broadway, and you chose a Broadway show.
22:18Broadway, they do.
22:20And you...
22:21I can't help but notice you've chosen a wonderful Broadway show.
22:24I saw when it opened, where you do get to have your scripts
22:27with you.
22:28And I've moved on from cue cards. I have teleprompters.
22:32Okay, gotcha.
22:32So I get both a script and a teleprompter.
22:35So I'm never going to be able to memorize anything ever again.
22:38Well, like, as a young actor, like in, like, what about, like,
22:41school plays or, like, things like speech in school
22:43when you were young? Did you...
22:44Were you good then?
22:45No. So I was...
22:46I never...
22:48I never did any of that.
22:49But I had an English teacher my sophomore year of high school
22:52who believed in me.
22:53She saw something in me.
22:55And she was like, yeah, I want you to do this piece from
22:58David Sedaris' Santa Land Diaries in a speech and forensics tournament.
23:02And I was like, okay, what do I have to do?
23:04And she was like, here's the script, memorize it, and then go do it
23:10at a tournament.
23:11It was seven pages printed out from a book.
23:14Yeah, like, not a script, just like a story.
23:16Yeah, just a story.
23:18I read over it once.
23:20I was like, I think I got it.
23:23And then went to the tournament, got up in front of all the other
23:28competitors and the judges.
23:30And I was playing in Elf.
23:32It was Santa Land Diaries.
23:33And I was like, my name's Crumpet.
23:38This piece was not properly prepared.
23:42And I'm going to leave now.
23:45And then just exited the tournament.
23:48And then did that teacher stop believing in you?
23:51Well, I was kind of mad at the teacher.
23:53I was like, you didn't do anything.
23:56You just handed me a thing and said...
23:58Did she say, neither did you?
24:02And we never spoke again.
24:03And I failed English.
24:05I like that.
24:06I mean, it's very important to have a teacher who believes in you.
24:08Yeah.
24:08A valuable lesson was learned.
24:10Yeah.
24:10You do.
24:11Everybody's in the show.
24:12I've talked to, like, Barron Holtz and Sarah Silverman about this.
24:14You get a caricature on the wall because it's a rotating cast.
24:17Wonderful people.
24:17And I do love asking people, how do you feel about your caricature?
24:21You know what?
24:22For a character, she's hot.
24:25I'm, like, very...
24:28Yeah.
24:29Because I, like all of us in the entire world,
24:33have probably had a really, really brutal caricature.
24:36Okay?
24:37I only have brutal caricatures.
24:39I typically only have them, too.
24:41I'm into this caricature.
24:43Yeah.
24:43I'm glad.
24:44I didn't know what you were going to say,
24:45and I think it's, you know, one of those things
24:46where we all hate pictures of ourselves.
24:48Like, I will say, I think they...
24:49I think you did great here.
24:51And I'm glad you all said that.
24:52Whenever somebody does a caricature of me,
24:53it's, like, all forehead and ears.
24:55Oh.
24:56And I'm like, is that how the world sees me?
25:00And I don't.
25:01I've never noticed your forehead or ears.
25:03Should I not have said anything?
25:04Yeah.
25:04And now it's all I can see.
25:05And now it's all you can think about.
25:06That's all I can see.
25:07Post-SNL, I feel like people's lives have become a lot fuller.
25:12Oh, my God.
25:12Because even though people think, like, SNL is this very social place,
25:15it's, like, not...
25:16Like, I don't feel like there's any joyousness to the social life
25:20because you're just, like, grinding it.
25:21Yeah.
25:22Are you finding, like, that you have time to do things
25:24that are maybe the SNL schedule did not allow?
25:27So, yeah, I've been like,
25:28of course I still want to, like, act and write.
25:30Of course.
25:30But there's other things I want to do.
25:32Yeah.
25:33I love planning parties.
25:34Oh, great.
25:35Did you...
25:36Have you had one recently?
25:37I did a really good birthday party.
25:40Great.
25:41A three-night birthday party.
25:43Yeah.
25:45Really celebrating myself this new...
25:48Now that I have time again.
25:50But the third night, there's a theme every night,
25:52and the third night was called Disguise Night.
25:55Anybody familiar?
25:57No.
25:57Can I ask you, had you ever done this before,
25:59or was this your first Disguise Night?
26:00This was my first Disguise Night.
26:02So, for Disguise Night, you...
26:05Everyone meets at a location in five-minute increments,
26:09in disguise, not a Halloween costume,
26:13but just enough to not make you look like yourself.
26:16So your friends would maybe do a double-take
26:19and be like, is that?
26:20And then you all find each other.
26:22So we were... And that's the goal.
26:24We were in Kansas City, my hometown,
26:27at a place called Knucklehead Saloon,
26:29which is a concert venue and a biker bar.
26:32And I believe you have...
26:33Alright, so this is, like, beginning of the night.
26:35This is the one... This is the you I know.
26:36Me and my friend Teddy, so that's us.
26:38And then here's... So this is, if I go to the bar,
26:41I'm like, who are those gentlemen?
26:43So this is... You'll love this.
26:45This is Seth. That's me.
26:47I was named Seth that night.
26:48Oh, great.
26:50And this is Barrett.
26:51Okay, great.
26:52And I still had people in Kansas City
26:54come up to me and go,
26:55are you Heidi Gardner?
26:59No way, really?
27:00Yes, yes.
27:01I mean, you look more like James Austin Johnson
27:03than Heidi Gardner.
27:04I know. I know.
27:05And that's... I love how we think...
27:07Do guys typically put one leg up on the bleachers?
27:10Because we're both doing it.
27:12Yeah, you're maybe pushing a little too hard
27:14that you're like, I'm just a normal guy.
27:18All Out is a show, as the title implies,
27:22about ambition.
27:23Yes.
27:24And jobs, and sometimes the early jobs we have.
27:27And what were your...
27:28Before you were an actor, a writer, aspiring comedian,
27:31what were your early jobs?
27:34Well, my first job ever was at a place called Mesa Wraps,
27:38which was Chipotle before Chipotle.
27:40Okay.
27:41So it was like just a one-off burrito bar.
27:44Gotcha. Okay.
27:45And, I mean, like, if we were on a date right now,
27:47I would probably lead with, I can tightroll a burrito.
27:50Okay.
27:50Like, I'm so proud of that skill.
27:53And I'd probably follow with, will you marry me?
27:55Yes!
27:58And you would be so happy that I was your wife
28:01because I could tightroll a burrito.
28:02That's great.
28:03I'd be nervous about myself.
28:04But when I started there, I was 14 years old,
28:07and my older brother would come in on his lunch breaks.
28:11And, you know, this was, like, the first time Kansas City
28:13had, like, big buffet burritos where you could get
28:16all the stuff in it.
28:17Yeah.
28:17So, you know, Justin would come in, and I'd get the tortilla,
28:21and I'd be like, chicken, steak, carnitas.
28:23And he'd be like, all of them.
28:25I'm like, okay, black beans or pinto?
28:28He's like, black and pinto.
28:30And we get to salsa.
28:31He gets all the salsas.
28:33He gets all the cheese.
28:34Like, to the point where this thing is, like,
28:35starting to levitate, you know?
28:36Yeah, yeah, yeah.
28:37And I don't have huge hands now.
28:3914-year-old, they were smaller than this.
28:42It would have been even funny if you were like,
28:44they used to be giants.
28:46I don't have big hands now, but they used to be, like,
28:48yeah, like tennis rackets.
28:50It was football or mace or abs, and I chose mace.
28:52So I would go to, you know, the first thing you do
28:54is you do the big roll and then the two-tack.
28:56So I'd go to do the big roll, and just immediately,
28:59all of my fingers were in all of the meat,
29:01all of the cheese, you know?
29:02He was like, your fingers are in my food.
29:04And I'm like, well, why does it have to be so big?
29:06And he's like, because I can eat off it for a week.
29:08And I'm like, okay.
29:10I was like, just let me do, like, let me get the sides.
29:12He was like, get one of the guys from the back.
29:14Get one of the big guys from the back to roll my burrito,
29:17and don't ring me up.
29:18And I was like, Justin, like, I could get fired.
29:20This is my first job.
29:21You know, he's like, what, are they counting burritos?
29:24Turns out they were counting burritos.
29:26Really?
29:26I got fired.
29:27You got fired?
29:28Forgiving my brother specifically when he called me.
29:31He's like, Heidi, kiddo, you know why I'm firing you?
29:34Said forgiving my brother too many free burritos.
29:37Forgiving your brother too many free burritos.
29:38Really?
29:39Yeah.
29:39So Justin really didn't do you a solid here at all?
29:42No.
29:42Wow.
29:42He's done me a million solids in my life.
29:44Oh, well, that's very nice.
29:45That's nice.
29:45That's nice.
29:46You're covering for him.
29:48You're from Kansas City.
29:49You mentioned you are a Chiefs fan.
29:52Here you are, Patrick Mahomes.
29:54You got to meet him in person.
29:55And then...
29:57So cool.
29:57And then I think after you meet somebody,
29:58you let them know you're crazy.
30:01Yeah.
30:01Well, this is...
30:02So I don't know why this happened,
30:04but I got to do a day at Arrowhead as a Chief.
30:08I got to live as Patrick Mahomes.
30:09And it wasn't until I sent this photo in,
30:12because they were like,
30:12you get to put on his uniform.
30:14And so I've been going around being like,
30:15I wore his uniform.
30:16I wore his uniform.
30:17I sent this in and I'm like,
30:18that's a perfect fit on me.
30:21Like...
30:23So am I his size?
30:25Is he his Mahomes my size?
30:27Like...
30:28Maybe.
30:29It is a perfect fit.
30:30It's a perfect fit.
30:31Like...
30:32I mean, maybe the hands are big.
30:34You haven't gotten to the bottom of it ever?
30:36No.
30:37I mean, I'm not going to call out the Chiefs.
30:38I'm literally trying to work there.
30:40Yeah.
30:40Oh, what do you want to do there?
30:41Burrito stuff?
30:44And that's what it takes.
30:45But you would do anything there.
30:48Specifically, I know the Vice President of the Chiefs,
30:51Brett Beach, and he lets me text him sometimes.
30:54And it's usually me being like,
30:57is there a desire around the locker room
30:59for like a big sister vibe?
31:03And it'll just go...
31:04It'll go red.
31:05And then I'm like...
31:06Like, somewhat...
31:07Like, are the guys looking for like, hugs ever?
31:11Because I know it's a brutal sport.
31:14Yeah.
31:14And like, especially after a fumble,
31:15most fans and stuff are like,
31:17what the F?
31:19You know?
31:20And so I'm like,
31:21what about just a nice, soft woman on the bench?
31:24That is like looking to hug and be tender with the players.
31:30Like, is that of anything you guys would like
31:34to even have me do for free?
31:36My favorite...
31:36The fact that you framed it, is there a desire?
31:38I know.
31:39He's like, you know, recently they have brought us their desires.
31:43And they would love a soft woman vibe.
31:46Just not for anything but hugs after fumbles.
31:49Yes!
31:50Hugs after fumbles.
31:50That's a really good idea.
31:51But you're not getting a lot of feedback yet?
31:53Not really getting bites.
31:54So I'm putting it on national TV.
31:57We're glad you did.
31:58And we hope it pays off.
31:59Yeah, me too.
32:00Congrats on your Broadway debut.
32:01And it's so lovely to see you.
32:03Heidi Gardner, everybody.
32:04All Out Comedy About Ambition is playing
32:06at the Neaterland Theater.
32:07We'll be right back with Molly Beck.
32:26Hey, everybody! We're here with Molly Balls!
32:28Give it a hand, Molly!
32:30She's the best-selling author of Cook This Book,
32:33and more is more her subscription recipe website.
32:36The Club drops new recipes weekly.
32:38I'm so happy to be with you, and you have a very good idea
32:41for what we're gonna do today.
32:42It's a sandwich draft.
32:43Correct.
32:44So this is a little game that we play at AO,
32:46which is my mayonnaise company here.
32:47Okay.
32:48Where we go head-to-head making sandwiches.
32:50Okay.
32:51So the rules of the game are as such.
32:53We have 90 seconds on the clock.
32:55Okay.
32:56We each have to gather all of the ingredients we need
32:59and build a sandwich.
33:00If I take something off the table
33:02and bring it over to my board, it's cleared from you.
33:05Okay, gotcha.
33:06So choose wisely.
33:08Alright, choose quickly.
33:09Choose quickly.
33:10We have 90 seconds to do this.
33:11Yes.
33:12But we also are gonna have a beer first.
33:14Yeah, of course.
33:14We'll have a cheers.
33:15This is my favorite brand.
33:18Yeah.
33:19I love beer so much.
33:23Cheers.
33:25Are you...
33:27Love a room temp beer, especially.
33:29It's good.
33:30Are you a beer drinker in general?
33:32I used to be, and then I went a little hard on it.
33:35I'm like, Belgian beer, heavy beer circuit.
33:37Yeah, that leaves a mark.
33:38And then I've kind of slowed down about you.
33:40But I love a beer.
33:42I will be honest.
33:43Great with a sandwich.
33:43It's great with a sandwich.
33:44Alright, are we ready to...
33:45We have 90 seconds on the clock.
33:48And...
33:48Oh, this is...
33:49By the way, your mayo looks very lovely.
33:51Well, thank you.
33:52You're going to hopefully use it right now.
33:54If you know it's good for you.
33:55Alright.
33:56And...
33:57Ready, set, go.
33:59I'm a big fan of pretzel rolls.
34:01I'm very happy we have them.
34:02Cool. I'm gonna go for brioche.
34:04Excuse-moi.
34:04I'll take some celery.
34:07It's a pickle.
34:08I feel like you're moving faster than me.
34:10I don't care for it.
34:11That's okay.
34:12You're doing great.
34:13But this...
34:14Can I just pick up meat with my hand?
34:15It's my show.
34:16I'm gonna do it.
34:17Yes, absolutely.
34:18I'm waiting for you to give me the okay.
34:20Oh, you have fun stuff.
34:22I'm just gonna do a little chippity chop over here.
34:24Okay.
34:25Got some celery.
34:29Oh, you're doing a little chippity chop, too, I see.
34:30Well, I wasn't going to, but then...
34:32I leveled it up.
34:33You inspired me.
34:34Never give away your secrets.
34:36So true.
34:37All right.
34:38I love...
34:40Like I said, I love a pretzel roll.
34:42Okay, so what are you building over there, then?
34:44Um...
34:45I'm not gonna tell.
34:47Um...
34:47That's smart.
34:48Excuse me.
34:49Okay.
34:50I'll take these.
34:51Thank you very much.
34:52All right.
34:52Didn't want them.
34:53Don't care.
34:55Good.
34:55You used to work in a sandwich shop, correct?
34:58I did, back in college.
35:00Okay.
35:00What kind of sandwich shop was it?
35:03We kind of made everything.
35:04Um...
35:05And I, unfortunately, was the girl who had to get up at the ass crack
35:09and be there, hungover, when all of my also-hungover friends would come
35:13and order a roast beef sandwich, which was very unfortunate for me.
35:17What was the name of the sandwich shop? Are you allowed to say?
35:19It was called Putnam...
35:21Ah!
35:24Mark it.
35:29All right. I made a sandwich.
35:34Wow.
35:34I made a sloppy one.
35:36Mm-hmm.
35:38Um...
35:38Okay.
35:39So, now that it's very exciting, you're gonna take a bite of mine,
35:41I'm gonna take a bite of yours, correct?
35:42Okay, that sounds good.
35:43And then I think someone should judge.
35:45Yeah, we're gonna have Wally be our judge.
35:46Can I just say, real quick, um...
35:48Wally, not yet.
35:49Oh...
35:50Please, Wally.
35:52It's just so desperate.
35:54All right.
35:54Come on, Wally.
35:55You can come over here.
35:56Ooh!
35:56I like what you did there.
35:57A little Calabrian chili.
35:58I put some Calabrian chili on it.
36:00I like that.
36:00I like a spicy sandwich.
36:02Yeah.
36:02I like a sandwich with kick.
36:04And I put some potato chips on it.
36:06Okay, love that move.
36:07Great.
36:08And what is the key?
36:11What do you think when you're making a sandwich?
36:12What are you trying to use as your inspiration?
36:14Well, I feel like most sandwiches are either under-sauced, hence...
36:18Yep.
36:18...or don't have enough vinegar-salt seasonings on them.
36:22So I feel like really, like, juicing them up and getting the fat, the acid, and the seasoning right is
36:26kind of the key.
36:27Okay, great.
36:27Which hopefully you did.
36:28All right.
36:28Seems like you did.
36:30You know what I realized?
36:30I didn't put on it.
36:31I panicked.
36:32I didn't get any cheese on my sandwich.
36:34But you know what?
36:34Rules are rules.
36:35That is a bummer for you.
36:37Um...
36:39I kind of thought you were going to maybe be like, oh, it's your first time.
36:42You should get some.
36:42Oh, well, I don't know.
36:43Wally's going to decide.
36:44All right.
36:44Wally's going to have, um...
36:46Okay, so, Wally, do you want this?
36:47Yeah, you can take that half.
36:48That's a better half.
36:48Because I didn't cut my pretzel real well.
36:50All right.
36:51All right.
36:51Then I get one and a half for that.
36:52Okay, so...
36:53And just remember, uh...
36:55Sorry.
36:55She won't be here tomorrow.
36:56I will.
36:57Okay.
36:57Okay.
36:57Okay.
36:59And...
37:00Oh!
37:00Oh, are you signed?
37:01Yeah.
37:02Oh.
37:03Everyone.
37:06Now, don't you feel like...
37:09Totally.
37:09Don't you feel like sandwiches, like, when do you...
37:11There's a sandwich boom, right?
37:13Yeah.
37:13And when did it start?
37:14I kind of feel like we're in the era of the sandwich right now.
37:16And have been for a few years.
37:18But I remember growing up, like, sandwiches were just, like, bologna and cheese.
37:22Maybe a little mayo.
37:23Maybe a little mustard.
37:23That was kind of the extent of it.
37:25And now I feel like they're everywhere.
37:28Here.
37:29You want a bite of mine, and I'm gonna have a bite of yours?
37:30Oh, it's kind of falling apart, but sure.
37:34Oh, sure.
37:34She's not allowed to say that, though, until the judging has happened.
37:37Oh, I'm so sorry.
37:38That's all right.
37:39All right.
37:39Wally, have you had some thoughts?
37:40Yeah, I do like spicy, so I taste the spice in there.
37:44Great.
37:45Mm-hmm.
37:47Right?
37:48Mm.
37:49Well, very well-seasoned.
37:50Mm.
37:57It's very moist.
37:58It's very good.
37:59I feel like I'm the winner here, because I get to eat both sandwiches.
38:02Oh, that's so nice of you.
38:03Pick a sandwich, Wally.
38:06I'm picking her sandwich.
38:08All right.
38:08Are you just saying that?
38:09No.
38:10So good.
38:11Wait.
38:12So good.
38:13Did you try mine?
38:14I did.
38:15I tried yours.
38:16But I have a question.
38:17What's so spicy on yours?
38:19What did you put on it?
38:20I put pickled pepperoncini and some of the brine in a little arugula, celery, dill pickle slaw.
38:26It's an excellent...
38:27Little fried chicken.
38:27And then just keep right out the door.
38:29Yes, ma'am.
38:30Thanks, Wally.
38:32Wait.
38:32I want to try my sandwich, because yours was excellent.
38:34Okay.
38:35But I'm going to try mine.
38:36Yeah, there you go.
38:37And just make sure it was the winner.
38:41Mm.
38:43It was the winner.
38:45I would agree.
38:46Yeah.
38:47Saucy.
38:47Mm-hmm.
38:48That's what you want.
38:49I feel like you, um...
38:52You gave me bad ingredients.
38:56Excuse me?
38:57You had free reign.
38:58No, but you knew they told you what I would pick.
38:59And then...
39:00No, you know what?
39:02I asked backstage, and they said they thought you were going to pick fried chicken.
39:06Yeah.
39:07I would...
39:07But you didn't.
39:08You took it earlier, I feel like.
39:10But I feel like you weren't even, like, in that zone.
39:12So I didn't feel like I was stealing something from you that you...
39:15Oh, you did.
39:15I'm sorry.
39:17Wait.
39:18I'm so sorry.
39:19I feel like I'm definitely about to get the hiccups.
39:21So I want to...
39:22Oh, everybody here gets to go home with something.
39:24Oh, yeah.
39:25So we have Ayo for all of you guys.
39:27This particular one, the hot giardineo, which is the spicy pickled giardineo.
39:32On your way out.
39:34And also, I have something for you.
39:36You do?
39:37What do you have?
39:37Extra special, which is a one-on-one...
39:40Wow!
39:41...Meyer's Lemon Ayo.
39:42Nobody else in the world has this.
39:44That's fantastic.
39:46And it's all for you.
39:47So we made it.
39:49You're my dear friend now.
39:50You're my dear friend.
39:51Molly Miles, everybody, will be right back.
40:07Come join the audience at Late Night Live in Studio 8G.
40:11For tickets, head over to latenightsefftickets.com.
40:13Follow us at Late Night Seth on all social media platforms.
40:17Subscribe to Late Night Seth on YouTube.
40:19Find us online at latenightsefft.com.
40:22And subscribe to the Late Night Podcast.
40:24Featuring a closer look, guest interviews, and more.
40:27Available wherever you listen to podcasts.
40:36I want to thank my guests, Billy Van Thornton,
40:39Harding and Molly Miles.
40:43We love you, everybody.
40:48.
40:49.
40:49.
40:49.
40:50.
40:50.
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