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Jimmy Kimmel Live - Season 24 - Episode 88: Zendaya, Jeff Ross
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00:00From Hollywood, it's Jimmy Kimmel Live!
00:04Tonight, Zendaya, Jeff Ross, and Guillermo at the Oscars
00:10with the Kletos!
00:13And now, Jimmy Kimmel Live!
00:32Well, it's very fun. I'm Jimmy. I'm your host. Thanks for joining us.
00:36From Hollywood, our studio here.
00:39We are directly, for those watching at home,
00:43we are directly across the street from the Dolby Theatre
00:46where last night the stars were out for the 98th Academy Awards.
00:50Monday after the Oscars is one of the weirdest days of the year around here.
00:54It's like Cinderella when the clock strikes midnight
00:56and everything turns into rats and rags.
00:58That's how I would describe our neighbor.
01:00It's raggy and ratty out there right now.
01:03I'm not sure how many people watching around the world
01:06know that the Oscars are held in a mall.
01:09You guys know.
01:11The Dolby Theatre is in a mall.
01:12There's a Foot Locker. There's a Johnny Rockets.
01:15Last night, Barbra Streisand was like this close to a Hot Topics store.
01:20The big winner on the show last night was One Battle After Another
01:23which won six Oscars including Best Picture.
01:26Sinners had a very strong night last night.
01:28Michael B. Jordan won Best Actor.
01:31Michael B. Jordan is now so successful, he announced today
01:35he's retiring from acting to play baseball.
01:37He's been signed by the White Sox.
01:39Michael beat out Tim Chalamet in one of the most hotly contested categories of the night.
01:44It was hotly contested, wasn't it, Guillermo?
01:57I got a tip that you may have imbibed and had some alcohol on the red carpet last night. True?
02:02Just a little bit, Jim.
02:03Just a little bit.
02:04Just a little bit.
02:06So that's why you're a little slow maybe, right?
02:08Yeah, tired.
02:09To no one's surprise, the K-pop Demon Hunter song Golden won Best Original Song.
02:15Actually, the full title, Best Original Song Your Kids Play So Much It Almost Makes You Miss Baby Shark.
02:21Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do.
02:23There were no envelope mix-ups or nude intruders or onstage altercations.
02:28The most unexpected moment of the night was when Kumail Nanjiani presented the award for live action short.
02:34And the Oscar goes to...
02:37It's a tie. I'm not joking.
02:39It's actually a tie.
02:41So, everyone calm down. We're gonna get through this. Focus up.
02:45Calm down. Remain calm.
02:46People were panicking. They were running around the theater.
02:49That was the first tie at the Oscars since 2013.
02:53And I have to say, I don't, I don't know if I like a tie.
02:57They should settle ties with a race to the stage.
02:59Like, we got one Oscar. You want it? Come up and get it.
03:03And while the statuettes were being handed out here in Hollywood,
03:06President Trump was hard at work on the golf course this weekend.
03:09We are now on week three of the war Trump claimed we won an hour after he started it.
03:15Operation Epstino Distracto has now cost American taxpayers more than $16 billion.
03:22And more importantly, the lives of 13 U.S. service members.
03:26Trump is desperate to convince anybody who'll listen that this had to be done.
03:31We had to attack.
03:32And that leaders who encourage violent acts against peaceful protesters are evil and must be stopped.
03:38How important would it be to get out that besieged force, the thugs that walk the streets?
03:44Well, that would be great if we could do that.
03:45Are we aiming for them?
03:47No, these are bad people. They go out shooting protesters.
03:51You're a protester. They shoot you right through the head.
03:53This is an evil group of people.
03:56Oh, now he's against shooting protesters.
03:58That's good.
03:58He's evolving.
03:59It's always his self-awareness that impresses me the most about Donald Trump.
04:03He's been talking very tough for a guy who seems to almost be in a coma right now.
04:09Over the weekend, he wrote,
04:10Watch what happens to these deranged scumbags today.
04:13They've been killing innocent people all over the world for 47 years.
04:16And now I, as the 47th president, am killing them.
04:20What a great honor it is to do so.
04:22Thank you for your attention to this matter.
04:24In three months, he went from where's my Nobel Prize for Peace to what a great honor it is to
04:28kill scumbags.
04:29Everything is his great honor.
04:31It was also his great honor to appear on ESPN, to defend Dennis Rodman, to sell digital trading cards,
04:39to win his own golf tournament, to join the New Jersey Boxing Hall of Fame, and now to kill people
04:45in Iran.
04:46And yet, even with all the killing he is enjoying so much, he is very low energy lately.
04:51He talks like he's a little drunk.
04:53He's slurring.
04:54He's sleepy.
04:55He's double fist in Diet Cokes.
04:57All of which feels more glaring when his friends at Fox News nervously take his temperature on when this war
05:05of his might be over.
05:06If Iran, as you said, totally obliterated, got the missiles, got the first two rounds of leadership,
05:12uh, Air Force gone, Navy gone.
05:14Can we wrap this war up this week?
05:17Yeah, sure.
05:18I don't think so, but it'll be soon.
05:22Won't be long.
05:23Uh, Grandpa's blood sugar is low.
05:26Will somebody get him a biscuit, please?
05:28I don't know if it's the stress from all his bad decisions or the fact that he's rage tweeting all
05:34night long and not getting any sleep,
05:36but he is spent.
05:37Trump phoned into a podcast hosted by his good little boy, Brian Kilmeade,
05:41who also wanted to gently nudge him towards when maybe do you think possibly we might know when this war
05:48might get wrapped up?
05:49When are you going to know when it's over?
05:51When I feel it.
05:53Okay.
05:53I feel it in my bones.
05:54That's the problem.
05:55He uses his bones to feel things instead of his brain.
05:57He's, he's a bonehead through and through.
06:00And the answer is he doesn't know when this war is going to be done.
06:03The only war Trump had an exit plan for was Vietnam.
06:06He's all over the place.
06:08During a press conference this morning, Napoleon Bonasper took a break from bragging about his military exploits to commit a
06:19HIPAA violation.
06:19We had one man who was very ill.
06:22It looked like he wasn't going to make it.
06:23I don't know.
06:24I don't.
06:24I won't mention his name.
06:25Should I do other people know his name?
06:28Do you want to mention it?
06:30He'll be proud.
06:31Go ahead.
06:32Tell him.
06:32Tell him the story.
06:33Okay.
06:33Well, thank you, Mr. President.
06:36Congressman Neil Dunn of Florida had had some real health challenges and it was very serious and had had a
06:42pretty grim diagnosis.
06:43And I mentioned it to the president and I said, Congressman Dunn is a real champion and a patriot because
06:48he's still coming to work.
06:49And if others got this diagnosis, they would be apt to go home and retire.
06:53What was the diagnosis?
06:54It was, I mean, I think it was a terminal diagnosis.
06:57He would be dead by June.
06:59Okay.
06:59That wasn't public, but yeah.
07:00Okay.
07:01That's, it was grim.
07:03That's what I was going to say.
07:04Well, the guy's kids had to find out somehow.
07:06It might as well have been from the president, you know, hard to believe.
07:09This is the same guy who was indicted for storing classified documents in the shower at his country club.
07:14And then it was off to Air Force One to deal with the very rude members of the media.
07:18One of whom had the audacity to ask the president for his thoughts on six Americans who lost their lives
07:24in his war.
07:25Can you give a comment on the six dead soldiers?
07:27ABC News.
07:29One of the worst, most fake, most corrupt ones.
07:32Can you give a comment on the dead soldiers?
07:33You know what ABC News?
07:34I think it's maybe the most corrupt news organizations on the planet.
07:39I think they're terrible.
07:40It's okay.
07:40I don't want anymore for baby safety.
07:42He's still mad at us for canceling Charlie's Angels back in 1981.
07:46Trump is very upset about network news coverage of his war.
07:51And so he's called in his attack schnauzer.
07:54Mr. We can do this the easy way or the hard way.
07:56FCC Chairman Brendan Carr, who this weekend sounded the alarm against freedom of the press.
08:01He wrote, broadcasters that are running hoaxes and news distortions, also known as the fake news, have a chance now
08:07to correct course before their license renewals come up.
08:10The law is clear.
08:12Broadcasters must operate in the public interest and they will lose their licenses if they do not.
08:17It is very important to bring trust back into the media, which has earned itself the label of fake news.
08:24The media didn't earn themselves the label of fake news.
08:27The first fatso made that up and you ran with it.
08:30And then Daddy Dumb Dumb followed with, and this is really, I like this, this is really like a ventriloquist
08:35complimenting his dummy on a joke.
08:37He wrote, I am so thrilled to see Brendan Carr, chairman of the FCC, looking at the licenses of some
08:43of these corrupt and highly unpatriotic news organizations.
08:46They get billions of dollars of free American airwaves and use it to perpetuate lies, both in news and almost
08:52all of their shows, including the late night morons who get gigantic salaries for horrible ratings and never get, as
08:59I used to say in The Apprentice, fired.
09:01Thank you for your attention to this matter.
09:04You know what, you're welcome.
09:06I don't know if you were thanking me, but you are welcome.
09:09On behalf of all my fellow late night morons, you are welcome.
09:14I actually think it's pretty criminal because our media companies, who have no credibility whatsoever, are putting out information that
09:24they know is false.
09:26And it's a very dangerous thing for the country. I think it's, I think they could be in serious jeopardy
09:32for you.
09:32Look out, Ken Jennings, we are in serious jeopardy, not, it's not celebrity jeopardy, it is serious jeopardy right now.
09:40This is to boil it down, he's threatening to pull the licenses from any news channels whose news he doesn't
09:45like.
09:45And I, for one, salute him. From now on, these so-called news organizations and talk show hosts should take
09:52our cues from real journalists like the fair, balanced and highly educated YouTuber slash stunt boxer Jake Paul.
09:59Would you ever run for office?
10:00I think so. That's, that's what I'm asking for some advice. Like, how did you make that transition?
10:05You know, the timing was good, but if I waited longer, it wouldn't have been good.
10:09Because of the clock, you know, the famous clock. Yeah.
10:12Father time. Yeah.
10:13My wife actually said, do it, or don't talk about it.
10:17And she said, I said, do it, or don't do it.
10:22But don't talk about it. Yeah.
10:24But she said, do it, or don't do it.
10:27It's okay, but don't talk about it.
10:30I'm pretty sure don't talk about it is always Melania's advice in any situation.
10:35Don't talk about it. Don't, don't, don't ever be talking.
10:43I always ask people this question.
10:45I think it's super interesting.
10:47If you could come back in history and reincarnate and like be able to experience someone else's life,
10:54who would you come back in history as?
10:57That's a very interesting question.
11:00Maybe Donald Trump right now.
11:03I think Donald Trump right now.
11:05My life is very exciting.
11:08What a surprise that he would pick himself.
11:10And that, I think it's called me incarnation.
11:13It's, and what a news flash that Jake Paul wants to run for office.
11:18That's direct.
11:19That's also Trump's fault.
11:20You see what you did?
11:21You've inspired a whole generation of muppet brain numbskulls to want to be president.
11:26I mean, really.
11:28One day.
11:31We're going to look back at Donald Trump one day like he was Thomas Jefferson.
11:35When we have Jake Paul in the White House.
11:37We have President Abraham missing Lincoln running the country.
11:41But let's get back to the Oscars, shall we?
11:43Last night, our biggest and brightest stars vied to get their hands on a little golden man.
11:47And that man's name is Guillermo.
11:50Year in, year out.
11:51No one brings more glamour or tequila to the Academy Awards.
11:55So, Guillermo, and here he is once again on the red carpet at the Oscars.
12:00It's Oscar night.
12:01It's Oscar night.
12:02It's Oscar night.
12:04It's Oscar night.
12:05It's Oscar night.
12:05Oscar night.
12:06It's Oscar night.
12:07Oh, yeah.
12:07And action.
12:10Well, open it up.
12:12Oh.
12:12You got it.
12:13Oh.
12:14Oh.
12:15Oh.
12:15Ah.
12:16Ah.
12:16There we go.
12:17Just slug it back?
12:18Yeah.
12:18Do the slate.
12:19Here we go.
12:21Yeah.
12:23And action.
12:24I'll say.
12:24You wanna take two?
12:26Yeah.
12:28Action.
12:29I do a lot of takes.
12:30Let's just say that.
12:31I'm an L&E.
12:32Oh, yeah?
12:33For editing.
12:33For editing?
12:34For which movie?
12:35One Bottle.
12:36One Bottle?
12:37I'll give you one bottle.
12:39Ah.
12:40I get it.
12:41Not bad.
12:43Cheers.
12:44You wanna know that bottle?
12:45Yeah.
12:45I would love it.
12:47One bottle after another.
12:50You're in the movie Hamlet, right?
12:52Hamlet, yeah.
12:53Hamlet, yeah, right?
12:54Yeah.
12:55Here's a Hamlet.
12:58Okay.
13:00It's okay.
13:01Ham and a net.
13:02Yeah.
13:03Ham and a net.
13:04Hamnet.
13:05Hamnet.
13:05Hamnet.
13:05Yeah.
13:07Have you seen the copier today?
13:08I've not seen him yet.
13:10I'm waiting to see him.
13:11I hear we're wearing the same outfit.
13:13You are?
13:13Yeah, I heard he stole my style.
13:16Why would he do that?
13:18I don't know.
13:19Jealous, maybe.
13:20Exactly.
13:21Leo!
13:22Leo!
13:24It's me, Guillermo!
13:25Leo!
13:27DiCapri?
13:28No.
13:29Her!
13:30Her!
13:30How are you, man?
13:31Hey!
13:32How are you?
13:33I just got a little bit.
13:35Better go!
13:35Better go!
13:36Better go!
13:37Hermano!
13:39Usher!
13:40Usher!
13:40Usher!
13:41Are you presenting or are you just an Usher?
13:45I think he's just an Usher.
13:47Who?
13:48Maya!
13:49Maya!
13:49I love you guys!
13:51You want to do a tequila shot?
13:53Kay!
13:55Kay!
13:56Kay!
13:56Kay!
13:57She's so likable.
14:00Mikey!
14:01How are you, Mikey?
14:02How you doing?
14:03Quick question, Mikey.
14:04Mikey, what's your favorite soup?
14:07Yeah!
14:08Lento?
14:08Yeah!
14:10Lento!
14:10Yeah!
14:11She loves Lento like me!
14:13Yeah!
14:14Kimote!
14:15It's Guillermo from Jimmy Kimmel!
14:18He's lost more tequila for me.
14:21F*** him.
14:26I'm trying to go to the after party.
14:28Yeah, I could probably get you into that.
14:30Oh, yeah?
14:30Yeah.
14:31Can I be your plus one?
14:33Yeah.
14:33Yeah?
14:34Yeah, call me, dude.
14:35I gotta call you.
14:36Just text me.
14:37I'll text you?
14:38Text me.
14:39On my cell phone.
14:40Well, give me your number.
14:40Yeah, I'll give it to you.
14:41I'll give it to you in a minute.
14:42All right.
14:43Great seeing you.
14:43See you at the party tonight.
14:44Well, say your number now.
14:45I'll say it out loud.
14:462-1-2-5-5-5-5.
14:49This morning.
14:49You ready to cut it out?
14:50All right.
14:51Bye!
14:52Yay!
14:54So mysterious.
14:56So, listen.
14:57I've been taking improv classes.
14:59Improv?
15:00Yeah.
15:01You know the rules are that you have to say yes and...
15:03Yeah.
15:04Mexicans are the greatest lovers.
15:06Oh, really?
15:07Yeah.
15:07That's a good tip.
15:09You're supposed to say yes and...
15:11Oh.
15:13Yes and so are Norwegians.
15:15Oh, yeah?
15:16Yeah.
15:17We should make a baby together.
15:22And no.
15:24Hey, you got two tights on.
15:27I just learned the word for this.
15:28I forget what it's called, but it's more of a scarf.
15:31Yeah, listen.
15:31You need one more.
15:33Please.
15:34Please.
15:36I can't think of anything better.
15:37I feel like I'm being knighted right now.
15:40Do you want me to turn around?
15:42Oh, my God.
15:42You did it so well.
15:44Right there.
15:44I didn't get a full look at it, but it's you naked.
15:47Is that what's happening?
15:47Yeah.
15:48Are you butt naked on this?
15:49Yeah.
15:49Good.
15:50Good.
15:51It's very hot today, right?
15:52It is so hot.
15:53So look what I...
15:54I got something for you.
15:56No way.
15:57It's a fan.
16:00It's a fan.
16:00It's a fan.
16:01Elle Fanning.
16:01Elle Fanning.
16:02Yeah.
16:03Oh, my God.
16:04I love this.
16:07Triple me.
16:08It's amazing, right?
16:09There's a rumor going around that you have some tequila.
16:12Oh, I do.
16:12Here.
16:13Help a brother out.
16:14Yeah, I do.
16:14I can hardly breathe in this place.
16:16Cheers.
16:16It's too hot.
16:17Yeah.
16:19I don't want you to drink too much of this, all right?
16:21You got a long night ahead of you.
16:22No, I'm okay.
16:23Listen, who would win in a fight between you and a hawk?
16:26Between me and a hawk?
16:27Yeah.
16:30Well, I don't want to fight with a hawk, man.
16:32I want a hawk to land on my shoulder.
16:35I want to be best friends with a hawk.
16:36I don't want to fight with a hawk.
16:38But I think it'd probably rip my eyes out.
16:40Oh, yeah?
16:41You want a chato tequila?
16:42What?
16:42No.
16:42No, no, no, no.
16:43My heels are too high.
16:45No, no, no.
16:45Don't kill me.
16:46I can't do it.
16:46But you want to take it to go?
16:48Fine.
16:48Let me take it to go.
16:50Cheers.
16:53Cheers.
16:53Go then.
16:54Up, up, up.
17:00This was exactly what I needed.
17:03It's so good, right?
17:07You're going to be in bad shape.
17:08I've been in bad shape all my life.
17:12I just feel a lot of different.
17:14Hey, Jimmy, I've saved something special for you.
17:16In the way?
17:17Yeah.
17:18So who?
17:19I open it, and now you drink it.
17:21And you drink it.
17:22You're going to make out with me.
17:24Finally.
17:25There you go.
17:26Yeah.
17:27Your saliva tastes like Don Julio.
17:30Thank you so much.
17:31I love you.
17:36This is a few more, everybody.
17:39Another fun show tonight.
17:40Jeff Rossis here.
17:41Rachel Price is sibling with the three toes.
17:43And we'll be right back with Zendaya.
17:45So stick around.
17:48She's a rich girl.
17:49And she's going too far.
17:51Cause you know it don't matter anyway.
17:53You can rely on the old man's money.
17:58Say it's funny, but it won't get too far.
18:01Say it's funny, but it won't get too far.
18:04Say it's funny, but it won't get too far too far.
18:06Hi there.
18:07Welcome back to the show.
18:08Tonight, he's gone from world champion roaster to Broadway star.
18:12His one man show coming to Netflix is called take a banana for the ride.
18:16Jeff Ross is with us tonight.
18:17This week.
18:19We have new shows this week with Robert Pattinson, Lisa Kudrow, Chelsea Handler,
18:24Charlie Cox, Sarah Shahi, Chris Robinson of the black crows.
18:27We'll be here to chat and sing a lot of music from the great Tedeschi trucks
18:31band too.
18:32And sitting in with the Cletones tonight and all week long from another great
18:36band, Lake street dive.
18:37Rachel prices with us.
18:39Thank you for being here, Rachel.
18:42It's wonderful to have you here.
18:45Like Elmo and Elvis and Oprah, our first guest is one of few entertainers
18:49who needs only a first name.
18:51Her new movie with Robert Pattinson opens in theaters April 3rd.
18:55It's called the drama.
18:56Please welcome Zendaya.
19:16How are you?
19:17You look great.
19:18How are you?
19:19The dress seems dangerous to me.
19:20I don't like that.
19:21Do you want to step on it?
19:23Well, it's got a thing coming off your neck.
19:25Yes.
19:25It really is.
19:26You got to be so careful.
19:28For some drama.
19:30Yeah.
19:31How are you?
19:31I saw you backstage at the Oscars last night.
19:33Yeah.
19:34Do you remember our encounter?
19:35I did.
19:36We kept it for the stage.
19:38Yeah.
19:38We said, oh, you know what?
19:40I'll mention that I saw you last night when you walk out.
19:43Exactly.
19:43And here we are.
19:44End of the conversation right there.
19:46You and your co-star in the movie, Robert Pattinson, were surprise presenters, right?
19:51Yes.
19:51Yes.
19:52Nobody knew you were going to be there.
19:53You presented Best Director.
19:55Yes, we did.
19:55Yeah, which is a good one to present.
19:56It's a great one.
19:57Yeah.
19:58I was wondering and I was curious to see who was going to read the name on the card
20:02because Robert, and I'm sure you know this, but he's a liar.
20:06He lies.
20:08And I don't mean that in a negative way.
20:10No, he chooses to.
20:11He chooses to lie.
20:12Yes.
20:13He has oftentimes told me stories that I just...
20:17Has he really?
20:17Yeah.
20:18He's told me stories on television that he later told me he just made up because he
20:23didn't have anything else to say.
20:24Yes.
20:25And then it follows him around and people will ask him about these crazy stories.
20:28Yes, that he can't keep up with.
20:29And he can't remember his lies.
20:31I know.
20:32You know what's so funny?
20:33So the first time we kind of like hung out when we were preparing for the drama, that
20:36was one of the first things he said to you.
20:38He was like, yeah, I used to be a pathological liar.
20:40And I was like, are you being serious or are you lying?
20:43I can't tell.
20:44I can't ever tell.
20:45Because, you know, he's...
20:46Have you noticed that he kind of...
20:47He like laughs with everything that he says.
20:49Like whether he's joking or being serious, he's always laughing.
20:53So I never know quite when he's telling the truth or not.
20:57And if a pathological liar tells you he's a pathological liar...
21:01You know what I'm saying?
21:02It's diabolical.
21:04It really is.
21:04It really is.
21:05Or is he lying?
21:07I don't know.
21:08You know, he's going to be on this week.
21:09Maybe we'll hook him up to a machine or something to see if he's telling us the truth.
21:13Yeah.
21:13I'm starting...
21:13I feel like I'm starting to understand the Rob-ness.
21:17Are you?
21:17Yeah.
21:18I think I'm cracking it.
21:18Explain it to me because he's coming.
21:20I don't...
21:21It takes time.
21:22It does.
21:22You know what I mean?
21:23We've done a few movies together this year.
21:24How many movies have you guys done together?
21:27Technically, it's three.
21:29Oh, wow.
21:30Yeah.
21:30Three movies together.
21:31Okay.
21:31I know.
21:31We never worked together before.
21:33And then we did the drama.
21:34And then Dune and Odyssey.
21:37So it's like...
21:38It's pretty cool.
21:38Was the first movie...
21:40Was Twilight, like, the first time you ever saw him in anything?
21:43Do you know what's funny?
21:43I actually...
21:44I haven't told him this, but I watched Twilight for the first time right before we shot our
21:48movie.
21:49You did?
21:49Because I felt like I need to do a little research.
21:51Interesting.
21:52Because you seem like you would be right about Twilight Age, right?
21:54I was.
21:55I was.
21:55But for some reason, I just...
21:57I hadn't seen it.
21:59Wow.
21:59And so that was my introduction to...
22:01To Robert Pattinson.
22:02To the Twilight franchise.
22:03What's your, like, all-time favorite movie?
22:04What's the movie that you've seen the most times?
22:06Do you know what?
22:07And this is what's so special and so, like, I'm so grateful for, is, like, one of my
22:12favorite movies.
22:13I did my, like, high school, like, final report on Interstellar.
22:18Oh!
22:20With Christopher Nolan.
22:21With Christopher Nolan.
22:22And then another one of my favorites is Prisoners by Denis Villeneuve.
22:25So it's like, the fact that...
22:27Yes!
22:27The fact that I get to work with these people is, like, still blows my mind because I'm such
22:33a fan.
22:33And those are two movies that I like.
22:35I'm...
22:35When people come to my house, I'm like, we're watching these movies.
22:38Oh, you do?
22:38You show it to people?
22:38It's, like, required watching.
22:40Have most of them seen it already and you're making them watch it again?
22:44No, it's like, they will have not seen it already.
22:46But even if they have, we can watch it again.
22:49Tom Holland, did you show him Interstellar?
22:52He had seen it before, but we have watched it again.
22:54You watch it.
22:54Yes, we have.
22:55Do you understand what's happening in that movie?
22:58Very well.
22:59Because you wrote a paper on it.
23:00A paper about it.
23:01Are you sure you understand?
23:02I'm very sure that I understand.
23:04Because...
23:04I'm one of the few people that I understand.
23:05What I don't understand about that movie, maybe you can help me with it.
23:08Okay.
23:08Why would they put Matt Damon in it?
23:11Like, when you could have him out of it and not in it, to choose to have him in it,
23:16it seems like, I don't know, it seems weird.
23:20On Saturday, you crashed a wedding in Las Vegas.
23:23I did, yeah.
23:23One of those chapels, wedding chapels.
23:26Yeah.
23:26I think, oh yeah, we have a photograph here.
23:28Now, these people had no idea that you were going to show up?
23:31They didn't.
23:32I mean, they did sign up to get married at the drama wedding chapel, which was a thing.
23:37I see.
23:38Oh, for the movie.
23:39Okay.
23:39Yeah, so it was for the film.
23:40So they did actually sign up to do this, which is really cool.
23:43But they did not know that I was going to be there.
23:45So I got to surprise them.
23:46Thankfully, they were happy about the surprise.
23:49I was like, did you imagine?
23:49You were like, what are you doing here, girl?
23:51No.
23:52But no, it went well, and they are a beautiful couple.
23:54Based on your time with them, do you think they're going to make it?
23:57I mean, I sure hope so.
23:59I sure hope so.
24:00Young love.
24:00You know what I mean?
24:01Because you never know.
24:02What night was this?
24:03What night was this?
24:04Yeah.
24:04This was in the morning.
24:05Oh, well, yeah.
24:06See, now a morning wedding in Las Vegas.
24:08Yeah.
24:08We're getting crazy.
24:09Is shaky to start with.
24:11Now, I know that you, the drama is a lot of the stories about an engagement and a wedding,
24:18and I'm just being really careful because I don't want to say anything that will ruin
24:21the movie.
24:21But I'm sure you know the internet has gone berserk with stories about that you might actually
24:28be married.
24:28Really?
24:29To Tom.
24:30Yes.
24:30I haven't seen any of them.
24:31There are.
24:33To the point where, and this is one of those things that I don't really understand.
24:38Yeah, yeah, yeah.
24:38People make these AI, these AI wedding photos that look very realistic.
24:44Yes.
24:45Of you guys together.
24:46It's, yeah.
24:47Married.
24:47And many people have been fooled by them.
24:50Yeah.
24:51While I was like, just out and about in real life, and people were like, oh my god,
24:54your wedding photos are gorgeous.
24:55And I was like, babe, they're AI.
24:58They're not real.
24:58That's so crazy.
24:59They're not real.
25:00Was anyone in your life fooled by them?
25:03In your real life?
25:04Yes.
25:04Yes, many people.
25:05And mad that they weren't invited?
25:06Yeah.
25:07Yeah.
25:08Yeah.
25:08Now, you brought a video along.
25:10I did.
25:11That, um, I'm not sure, what should I say about this video before we see it?
25:15Well, I just, you know, a little something to just clear the confusion.
25:18Okay.
25:19Something that's, um...
25:20This is not something you've shared anywhere before.
25:22No, no, no, no.
25:23This is first time sharing.
25:24Okay, all right.
25:24Well, let's take a look.
25:26All right, let's bring in mom and dad.
25:30Yes.
25:32Everyone scooch in.
25:34Get close.
25:38Now, yeah, in a lot of the...
25:43It somewhat closely resembles a scene in the film.
25:47Yeah, but it was, yeah, it was a beautiful day.
25:50And it almost would seem as if somebody just pasted, crudely pasted Tom's head over Robert's
25:56head.
25:56No, that was, that was real footage.
25:59Okay.
26:00So just to be clear, that was not AI.
26:02No, that was real.
26:03That was real.
26:04I was there.
26:04All right.
26:05Wow.
26:05There you go.
26:06We got a real scoop here on the show.
26:08Zendaya is with us.
26:09Zendaya is with us for movie and spot.
26:10The drama.
26:17I did.
26:18I said, if everyone knows he's a piece of s**t, then why are we doing a retrospective
26:20in the first place?
26:21It's like, it's so incredibly irresponsible.
26:23No one ever cares until it's too late.
26:26And then it always ends up backfiring on me.
26:31Emma, I'm being serious.
26:32It's not funny.
26:33No, I agree with you.
26:34This is not funny at all.
26:37It's very serious.
26:42You're laughing.
26:43That is Ronald Patterson and Zendaya in the drama, which opens the theaters on April 3rd.
26:51Boy, you might be the only person who has pantsed both Batman and Spider-Man.
26:58Iconic.
26:58It's miraculous.
27:00Now, that scene feels like a romantic comedy, but the movie is very different.
27:07There's drama in the drama.
27:09There is a lot of drama.
27:10And I'm being careful because I know that something happens in the movie that's important
27:14to the movie, and I don't want to ruin it.
27:15I appreciate that.
27:16So I'll let you ruin it for us.
27:17Go ahead.
27:17No, no, no, no.
27:18That's the thing.
27:19I think, you know, what's difficult about even talking about the movie is there is so
27:22many different genres.
27:24And I think it is a romantic comedy in many ways, but it's also a drama.
27:29But it's also, I mean, everybody has their own kind of feelings leaving the theater,
27:33especially with the big twist.
27:34And there's so many conversations that are had after you watch it.
27:38And it's just one of those things, like, I really hope that people don't spoil it for
27:42each other so they're allowed to go into it just unknowing and really experience the
27:47drama.
27:48I could see it without revealing anything.
27:49I could see this movie causing a lot of problems for a lot of people.
27:53Yeah.
27:53Yeah.
27:54Very possible.
27:54In their personal lives.
27:56Yes.
27:56Those conversations can go many ways.
27:59Yes.
27:59Yes.
28:00Yes.
28:00There's also a surprising amount of vomiting in the film.
28:03There is, yeah.
28:04By you.
28:05Is that what you look for?
28:07And Rob.
28:07And Rob, too.
28:08Do you look for that in a part?
28:09Is that something that?
28:11Absolutely.
28:12Absolutely.
28:13No, what's so funny is like when we're shooting those scenes, so you have like a tube
28:20that like is connected to like a pump situation.
28:24And what's in the pump?
28:26Vomit.
28:27Or fake vomit.
28:28Fake vomit.
28:28Which was for my character because my character is supposed to be having like just drinking.
28:33It was like fruit juice, but then kind of they added something to make it kind of like
28:38jelly, gelatinous-y.
28:40Yeah.
28:40It wasn't great.
28:42But yeah, so you have a tube and that kind of goes into your mouth and you have to bite
28:46on this thing.
28:47And then someone else is controlling when the vomit comes out.
28:52Right.
28:53Exactly.
28:53The vomit ring.
28:54So how do I cue the vomit if I can't control when it's supposed to happen, right?
29:00Right.
29:00So me and the special effects guy, we really had to lock in.
29:04And I was like, yo, okay, so what's going to happen is when I put my hand up like this
29:09and I go, that's when you know, hit the valve.
29:13And then we got it.
29:14One could argue though that vomit doesn't cooperate in that way with the human body.
29:18Vomit comes when it comes out.
29:20Yes, but I have to act as though.
29:22It's coming out.
29:23You know what I mean?
29:23Yeah.
29:24And if it just comes out, I have to, you feel it coming.
29:27You know what I mean?
29:28So I have to...
29:29You know Meryl Streep can vomit on command.
29:31She's one of her gifts.
29:32She's just...
29:33That's why she's...
29:34She can do it anywhere at any time.
29:36I need to work on my craft.
29:38You filmed this movie, the drama, in Boston.
29:41Yeah.
29:41And this is so good.
29:44This is a real thing that happened on our local ABC affiliate in Boston.
29:48So you were out walking around with your mom, right?
29:50Mm-hmm.
29:51And it was one of those things...
29:52We were on like Newberry Street?
29:53Okay.
29:54And the news just is filming...
29:55Somebody's like, yeah, Newberry.
29:57Love it.
29:57People in town.
29:59And, well, take a look for Zendaya and her mom here.
30:03Newberry Street opening to pedestrians today for the open Newberry Holiday Stroll.
30:08Boston Mayor Michelle Wu says she hopes bringing this back will help encourage people to shop local this winter.
30:14The street will open back up again next Sunday, December 8th.
30:18It's a lot of fun, but really it was a chilling day to be out there shopping.
30:22Yeah, you really had to bundle up.
30:24Hmm, good day for hot cocoa, you know?
30:26Oh, yes.
30:26It's gonna be nice and cozy.
30:28Wasn't it a good day for hot cocoa?
30:33I was, you know, just...
30:35I was just hanging out...
30:37My mom's gonna hate that.
30:38She's gonna be like, why am I on TV?
30:41Um, but yeah, it was so random.
30:42It became like a thing, yeah.
30:43Yeah.
30:43It's funny.
30:44Now, listen, I know...
30:45I don't know if you're gonna think more or less of me for asking this question.
30:48Probably less.
30:49Okay.
30:50Have you seen Spider-Man?
30:52I don't mean the guy, I mean the movie.
30:55I've seen a little something.
30:56You have?
30:57I have.
30:57Have you seen literally a little something or the whole something?
31:00A good amount of something.
31:02A good amount of something.
31:03Mm-hmm.
31:03And?
31:04I feel very good about it.
31:05You feel very good about it.
31:06I do.
31:07Okay.
31:07And that comes out in July?
31:09Yes.
31:09Yes.
31:10That you can say?
31:13I mean, honestly, it's been like, it's such a huge part of our story, obviously.
31:20And we grew up making those films.
31:22And it's such a privilege to be able to do them.
31:24And I know Tom cares so much about the role and doing it just this.
31:28He's the best Spider-Man ever.
31:29I...
31:30Yes.
31:30There's no question about it.
31:31I'm biased, but yes.
31:33And, um...
31:34How many villains are in the film?
31:35And he's really done a great job.
31:37You know I can't say that.
31:38You can't say that.
31:39Do you vomit in the movie?
31:42A little bit?
31:42You know I can't say that.
31:45You just have to wait and see.
31:47All right.
31:47Well, it was great to see you.
31:48Great to see you.
31:49The movie is called The Drama.
31:50It opens in theaters April 3rd.
31:52Zendaya, everybody.
31:53Thank you, Zendaya.
31:54We'll be back with Jeff Ross.
31:59This week on Jimmy Kimmel Live, Lisa Kudrow, Chelsea Handler, and Robert Pattinson.
32:06Plus music from Chris Robinson and Tedeschi Trucks Band.
32:16I can't believe you.
32:20Rachel Bryce sitting in with the Cleetones tonight.
32:23Our next guest goes by many names.
32:26The Roastmaster General, the Sultan of Sting, and also Jeff.
32:29His one-man Broadway show is called Take a Banana for the Ride.
32:33It premieres March 24th on Netflix.
32:35Please welcome Jeff Ross.
32:56Hi, guys.
32:58Cleeto, baby.
32:59Welcome.
32:59Great seeing you, my friend.
33:00Hi, everybody.
33:01Hi, Jeff.
33:02How are you?
33:02I'm so good, man.
33:04Thanks for having me.
33:05You watched the Oscars last night, right?
33:06It was a lot of fun.
33:07Yeah.
33:07Fun show.
33:09Congratulations.
33:09How many did you win?
33:10I didn't win any.
33:11I just gave one.
33:13I gave two outs, so I'm down a couple, actually.
33:15That was cool.
33:15Yeah.
33:16You wrote for the Oscars with, when?
33:18Billy Crystal.
33:18I wrote for the, my first, like, one of my first real writing jobs.
33:22Before the Man Show, or right around that time, I got a call.
33:25I had been writing to Billy Crystal, saying, if you ever host again, please have me.
33:29So I get the call, and I'm out there, and you know how it is.
33:33You're backstage.
33:34Uh-huh.
33:35In a pen.
33:36In case, like, something happens, and you want to, like, give the host an idea.
33:40Well, I'm sitting there with the writers, and Arnold Schwarzenegger comes backstage, and
33:46he's going over his lines.
33:47He's about to introduce best foreign language film, which for him is English.
33:54And I can tell he's nervous, and he's looking at his stuff, and I noticed that the cuffs
33:59of his, he had these beautiful cowboy boots, alligator boots, and one cuff was tucked
34:04in, and one was out.
34:05And I'm like, oh, no.
34:06Do I say something to him?
34:08You know, he's going to walk out in front of a billion people.
34:11So finally, I got the courage, and I didn't want to screw up his name, so I said, Mr.
34:15Terminator.
34:17Uh, you might want to check your cuff.
34:19And he looked at it.
34:20He shook his head, and he immediately blamed his wife.
34:23He was like, .
34:27I don't know if that's why they separated or not.
34:31I did hear that was why, yeah.
34:33It was fun.
34:34So, um, I think it was almost 30 years ago.
34:37Yeah.
34:38You gave me a VHS tape.
34:40Yeah.
34:40And it was a show you did in a little theater.
34:43Yeah.
34:43A one-man show.
34:44Yeah.
34:44A very beautiful one-man show about your parents, about your grandfather who played
34:49a big role in raising you.
34:50Yeah.
34:51Called Take a Banana for a Ride.
34:52And, um, now you've done, you did it on Broadway.
34:56You had this big show on Broadway, and it's been, and you shot it for Netflix.
35:00Yeah.
35:01Which is, I mean, really an unbelievable journey.
35:03I'm very proud of you.
35:06Jimmy, every couple years, Jimmy would hit me up and go, whatever happened with that
35:11show about your family?
35:11You gotta do that show.
35:13And I'm like, I can't find the VHS.
35:15And Jimmy's like, I have the VHS.
35:16I did.
35:18And, um, I didn't really have the emotional strength to keep it going 30 years ago.
35:24It was about loss and resilience and bouncing back when you lose people.
35:28And more recently, like during the pandemic, Norm Macdonald, Gilbert Gottfried, and Bob
35:33Saget all passed away within eight months.
35:35All your good friends.
35:36Yeah.
35:36And I looked back at the old show and said, man, I'm the one left to tell this story.
35:40So I kind of rebooted it into a modern comedy show with music and, and jokes and stories.
35:48And a dog.
35:49And my dog, Nipsey, comes out at the end and sings.
35:52There's your dog, Nipsey.
35:53Oh yeah, look.
35:53On the, uh, flight to New York?
35:56Is this?
35:56This is when we first started rehearsals on Broadway.
35:59I had to bring her from L.A.
36:01Obviously, she'd never been on a plane before.
36:04And I had to buy one ticket from, uh, the producers bought me a ticket and I bought Nipsey
36:09a ticket.
36:09And we, we had three mimosas in first class.
36:13And then she, uh, she went to sleep and woke up on Broadway in New York.
36:18And, and at the very end of the show, um, she comes out and hits her mark and we, we
36:24howled together.
36:25It's very cathartic.
36:26Did she do it every single time?
36:28She hit every single show.
36:30The only one she missed was the very first preview.
36:35She got, uh, diarrhea.
36:37Even better.
36:39We both, we both kind of had it.
36:40We had stage fright, but, and then, and then she hit her mark and she had the same trainer
36:46as from the, the old Broadway show Annie.
36:50And, and, and her trainer Bill taught Nipsey to come out.
36:54Jump on the couch and howl with me.
36:56And then the end, I would go, hey, look, it's just like the musical Annie where the
37:00dog comes out at the end, except I play the bald guy and the orphan.
37:06How is it?
37:08Part of the show.
37:09That's fun.
37:10That's different in each show is, uh, you talk to people in the crowd.
37:14Yeah.
37:15And you do this at a lot of your shows and it's the best.
37:18It's fantastic.
37:19And I think that I just, for those who don't know your work.
37:23Yeah.
37:24Um, you say very honest things to people.
37:26Yeah.
37:26And they expect it from you.
37:28Yeah.
37:28And so if somebody comes in and they have some physical characteristics.
37:32Look at you dressed like a talk show host accountant.
37:34Right.
37:36Or like Guillermo, would you have anything, uh, to say about him?
37:39Guillermo, I don't think the Ozempic's working.
37:43I agree with you.
37:45All right.
37:46You guys look great.
37:47Look at me.
37:48I look like, uh, Jeff Bezos if he invented mozzarella sticks.
37:55How's my hair?
37:56Is my hair okay?
37:57No, what I do is I, I open up in the show.
38:00I'm very vulnerable and that allows the audience to, to also be vulnerable.
38:05So at a certain point I pick up like a bag of bananas.
38:08My grandfather used to say, take a banana for the ride.
38:11Uh, it's his way of saying, you know, be ready for anything.
38:14And I walk around the audience and I ask people what's happening in their lives.
38:19And they open up to me and, um, we share.
38:22It's like a group, uh, therapy.
38:24It's cathartic.
38:25And then I give him a banana.
38:26Well, and we have a-
38:28And some people use it as a dildo.
38:29Some people eat it.
38:30It's like-
38:31You can do anything you want with it.
38:32Yeah.
38:32There's no rules.
38:32Yeah, yeah.
38:33Well, let's take a look at a clip.
38:34Oh, here's me walking around the Broadway.
38:36For the ride.
38:36Yeah.
38:37I love it.
38:38I love it.
38:40Thank you, man.
38:41You are an inspiration.
38:43I'd ask for a fist bump, but I don't want to be insensitive.
38:46What if you want to say f*** you to somebody?
38:48How do you do it?
38:50Oh.
38:50You just have to adapt.
38:52Fucking.
38:53This guy's a legend.
38:54Oh my God.
38:55You have to adapt.
38:56You have to adapt.
38:57You have to adapt.
38:57You have to adapt.
38:58That's a great life lesson, my friend.
39:00Yep.
39:00This is my wonderful life.
39:01Wonderful life.
39:02Give it up.
39:03This poor woman.
39:03Never been finger f***ing her hard life.
39:16Roasting.
39:18Jimmy, roasting is healing.
39:22Roasting is healing.
39:23Roasting is life.
39:24What do you mean?
39:25Did his hands come back?
39:28Don't clap for that.
39:30That's insensitive.
39:32You know what?
39:33This guy was such a good sport.
39:35He was.
39:36He was.
39:36And I had people from all walks of life get up and tell me what's happening.
39:40I love that because people go through life with this fear.
39:44And then if you're in a situation like he is, nobody speaks to you honestly.
39:48Right.
39:48Everybody avoids this kind of stuff.
39:50My best pal growing up, he's still my best pal, is disabled.
39:54And the only time he'd be offended is if I left him out of the roasting.
39:59Everybody wants to be treated normal.
40:01There you go.
40:01And everybody on the way out of the show.
40:04Yeah.
40:05Everybody on the way out in the audience gets a banana.
40:08How many?
40:09Do you pay for all those bananas?
40:11We spent over $7 million on bananas.
40:14No.
40:15Bananas are not that expensive.
40:17Maybe now they're a little more with the tariffs.
40:20But, you know, it's potassium.
40:22It gives people.
40:23And if you ever get sand, you can turn a banana sideways.
40:26You can make, it'll remind you to smile.
40:28And look, Jimmy, I made a, I made a banana tattoo.
40:31In honor of my grandfather.
40:33And it has my mom's writing on it from a letter I found.
40:35It says, I love you.
40:37Oh, look at that.
40:38Oh, that's nice.
40:40Now I always have a banana for the ride.
40:43And by the way, of all the people that came, your family,
40:47there must have been 20 people from your family that came to my show.
40:52So I'm thinking my next show will be about your family.
40:54Great.
40:56Jeff Ross, everybody.
40:57Take a banana for the ride.
40:59Watch it on Netflix starting on March 24th.
41:12All right, thanks to Rachel Price.
41:15Thanks to Zendaya.
41:16Thank you to Jeff Ross.
41:17Take a banana for the ride is on Netflix starting March 24th.
41:20Yeah.
41:21Apologies to Matt Damon.
41:22We ran out of time for him.
41:23Nightline is next.
41:24Join us tomorrow with Chelsea Handler.
41:25You know Chelsea Handler?
41:26Of course.
41:27Chelsea's one of the best.
41:28And Chris Robinson?
41:29Wow, I saw porno with them and me one time.
41:34It was at an Oscars after party last year.
41:37It's a long story.
41:38I'll ask them about it.
41:38Yeah, make sure you bring that up.
41:40Thanks for watching.
41:41Good night.
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