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00:05I don't know.
00:45go time oh you look good yeah i am proud of you i'm proud of you i love you i
00:53love you so much
01:07oh my god let's fucking go yeah do this okay you better be home by 5 15.
01:19no problemo babe
01:25yo stop stop you're gonna wake up the whole fucking neighborhood be fucking on time
01:29shit i forgot i'm kidding me yeah i'm sorry yeah yeah give me a sec
01:33fucking oh yeah there it is there it is you're getting a fucking coming to go in that car get
01:43in the fucking car get in the car let's go there's just nothing loud yet all right just
01:53why are you slamming that fool why do you have to just just fucking shut it slam it don't say
01:58you didn't when you did like i did this you guys show me again yeah
02:10how terrible is that fucking filth you got it from fucking gogos it's pretty good what is it
02:14hazelnut the other debit only now what if you don't have a debit card right then you're fucked if you
02:19don't have a debit card you got the debit card you got to pay a fucking fee it's like they
02:22fuck you in
02:23the ass either way yeah because if they do the credit card then they got to pay a percentage of
02:27the credit card i understand but why fuck the customer it's just for no reason gotta tell you
02:34it's kind of like a little bit of a glass half half empty kind of energy you're working with for
02:40this mission double oh fucking suck my dick what do you mean a mission yo we're fucking
02:43transporting some goods across state lines we're taking a fucking tape box to gary indiana gary
02:48fucking indiana that's where we're going what's in the box i don't know what's in the fucking box
02:52it's taped i just said it's taped you can tell me
02:58all right fair enough i don't need to know you're a fucking donkey that's what you fucking are
03:02that's what you are fucking all you don't even know what you're fucking taking you're just fucking
03:05moving donkey fucking packing old donkey i am a donkey yeah you ever see what a donkey's packing
03:10downstairs you ever see that donkey downstairs
03:18what's happening stay here was that jimmy
03:23mike
03:25oh
03:25oh
03:26oh
03:59What are you doing?
04:00Good.
04:02Didn't I say stay in the car?
04:04What?
04:04Man, I said stay in the car.
04:05Why can't you just stay in the fucking car?
04:07You didn't say stay in the car.
04:08You didn't hear me say stay in the car?
04:10You didn't say it.
04:10You just fucking watching me?
04:11I didn't hear you say it because you didn't say it.
04:12It's too much, Rich.
04:14Fucking dog.
04:15Huh?
04:16I'm not a fucking dog.
04:17You can't fucking tell me where to go and when to do it.
04:21Yo, look what I made last night.
04:26You made a fucking...
04:28Did you make that?
04:29Yeah, I made this.
04:30Tunes for Gary.
04:32Come on, baby.
04:33Let's do this.
04:35Oh.
04:36Oh.
04:36Oh.
04:37Gradual with the volume.
04:39I am gradual with the volume.
04:41Just turn it off.
04:42This is gradual with the volume.
04:43That's exactly what I did.
04:44I swear to God.
04:45Stop it.
04:46Stop it.
04:46Stop it.
04:46Stop it.
04:47Stop it.
04:47Pull this fucking car over and fucking leave you here.
04:49You understand?
04:49This is not gradual with the volume.
04:53Like that.
04:55That's not what I did.
04:56I know how to...
04:57I respect the fucking car.
05:00Now I want you to respect the fucking music.
05:25Good gracious.
05:30Yeah, there he is.
05:31There he is.
05:33There he is.
05:34Stop.
05:34Don't fucking touch me.
05:35Stop.
05:35Stop.
05:39Well, here's some fun facts about Gary.
05:42Guess the population.
05:4570,000.
05:47It is a rust belt city.
05:50It was once known as Magic City.
05:53It was once also known as the City of the Century.
05:56City of the Century.
05:5754% female.
05:58For those of us in the car that are, you know, not married, that might be a pretty fun fact.
06:05Obviously, John Cougar, Mellencamp.
06:07Michael Jackson, fucking orangutan.
06:09Michael Jackson's from Gary.
06:10The whole Jackson 5 for that night.
06:11Could have fucking said Tito before fucking John Cougar, Mellencamp.
06:13All right.
06:15Oh, shit.
06:15Coney King does a piece of puff.
06:17What?
06:18Coney King does a piece of puff.
06:19I thought that was just a Chicago thing.
06:23You trying to tell me you're not at all excited about traveling more?
06:26Traveling?
06:26Yeah.
06:27You're not just tired of the same old, same old.
06:29This is what I'm talking about, Michael.
06:31This is a fucking mission.
06:32Jimmy's entrusting us with some more responsibility.
06:34We've got the fucking open road ahead of us.
06:36You know, there's a lot of, you know, positive things about this day.
06:40Responsibility, huh?
06:41Yeah.
06:42Yeah.
06:42Feeling respected?
06:44Yeah.
06:45Yeah.
06:46I think the time you'll come to find that this is, uh, maybe a potentially transformative day.
06:52All right.
06:53We're on a great day.
06:54Bop down to Gary.
06:56Little bada bing, bada boom.
06:57Bop, bap, bap.
06:58We're fucking home by 5.15.
07:01The latest.
07:015.15, why 5.15?
07:03It's just the thing with Tiff that she's got superstition about.
07:05Superstition about what?
07:06Her mom went into labor at 5.15.
07:08She got it in her head that she's gonna, you know, the same thing's gonna happen to her.
07:12It's the stupidest fucking thing I ever heard in my life.
07:14I can't.
07:14Why would the same thing?
07:15I know.
07:16Literally, how many minutes are in a fucking day?
07:17There's, like, thousands of fucking minutes in a day.
07:19Why would it happen at the same time?
07:20Michael, I'm not saying that this makes any kind of sense at all.
07:22So we need to be back by 5.15 because her fucking mother spit her out of my head?
07:25It's a non-issue.
07:26It's a non-issue.
07:27It's a non-issue.
07:28Well, it is a fucking issue.
07:29If you're saying we gotta be back by 5.15, we'll be back by 5.15.
07:32That's why I'm saying it's a non-issue.
07:37You'd rather be fucking serving beefs all day?
07:40Come on.
07:41Fucking open road.
07:53Well, I might take the train, I might take the plane, but if I have to walk, I'm going
08:01to the same, going to Kansas City, Kansas City, here I come.
08:09They got some crazy little women there, and I'm gonna give me one.
08:15Welcome to Indiana.
08:17There you go.
08:17You're a fucking world traveler, Rich.
08:19Congratulations.
08:20Let's go.
08:21Well, yeah, you feel different?
08:36City of magic.
08:38City of the century.
08:41You think this happened overnight?
08:43Oh, yeah, I just flipped a switch.
08:45I just flipped a switch.
08:51Definitely doesn't feel like Chicago.
08:58You're fucking 35 minutes away.
09:02I don't know what to say.
09:05Still changed quick.
09:08They got crazy little women there, and I'm gonna give me one.
09:17They got some breathing little women there, and I'm gonna give you one more time.
09:21They got some breathing little women there, and I'm gonna give you one more time.
09:27Oh, Jim.
09:29Jim.
09:43Hey, hi, hon.
09:44Hey.
09:44Hi.
09:45Hi, Finn.
09:47Uh, um, I, you know, I, I think I'm good.
09:51What do you mean?
09:52I don't know.
09:53I'm not sure how to describe it.
09:55It's just like, it's just like, it's like, it's like, I feel like I have to shit really
09:59bad, but I don't know.
10:00I can't tell if this is what the doctor said to look out for.
10:03Okay.
10:04Uh.
10:06Contraction?
10:06You think it's like, like, Braxton Hicks?
10:09Uh, yeah, probably, but you know, I'll be okay.
10:11It's not close to 515 yet, so.
10:14Yeah?
10:14Yeah, don't worry.
10:15I'm okay.
10:16Okay.
10:16Did you do the drop-off?
10:18Uh, almost.
10:19Uh-huh.
10:20Well, I'm proud of you.
10:21I'm really proud of you.
10:21How's the drive?
10:22Are you having fun?
10:23Yeah.
10:24Yeah, we're having a good time.
10:26And how about Mikey?
10:27Is he okay?
10:28Yeah, he's good.
10:29Okay, that's great.
10:30But don't smoke any cigarettes, though, honey.
10:32Promise me, right?
10:32All right.
10:33Okay.
10:33Listen, I'm gonna call you back, okay?
10:35Just try me if you need everything, okay?
10:36I love you.
10:37Okay, I love you so much.
10:39What's up?
10:40What do you say?
10:41He said he'd let us know in a few hours.
10:44Well, let us know.
10:47What's up?
10:48Like, three, four?
10:49Richie, I didn't say it.
10:50He said it.
10:53He had hours to kill Gary.
10:55You still feeling respected?
10:57Fuck it.
10:58It's just, I don't know, let's get something to eat.
11:02You see that?
11:03It's Michael Jackson's house.
11:06Huh.
11:06Yeah.
11:08Shammo!
11:18Lock the door.
11:20Reach in there.
11:24What are you, Teddy Pendergrass?
11:26Yes, we are.
11:28Oh, a little TP.
11:29Yes, I love Teddy.
11:30What a romantic hot dog place you got here.
11:33Oh.
11:35I listen to the old school music.
11:37Yeah.
11:38I'm right there with you.
11:39And you know what they're saying.
11:44Hi, welcome to Clowning King.
11:46Appreciate you.
11:46Yo, Mike, this is Alicia.
11:47How are you, Alicia?
11:48Nice to meet you.
11:48Mike, how are you?
11:50I'll be your server.
11:51Just let me know if you need anything.
11:52Appreciate it.
11:53How about you eliminating?
11:56Welcome.
11:59You're missing out.
12:00You're missing out, huh?
12:01Yeah.
12:02Yeah.
12:03How long you worked here?
12:04I've been working here five years.
12:06Five years?
12:06Yeah.
12:07That's business.
12:08Pretty good.
12:08It's great.
12:09Yeah.
12:09I love it.
12:10You love it.
12:10What do you love about it?
12:11I like working with people for public.
12:13That's the answer right there.
12:15Michael hates people.
12:16Oh, man.
12:18I believe what he says.
12:19I don't like crowds.
12:20I don't hate people, but I just don't like crowds.
12:23You cook at home?
12:25You like the truth?
12:26Yeah, only the truth.
12:27No.
12:28Yeah.
12:28When I leave here, I don't want to go stand in front of a stove.
12:31That's it, huh?
12:32Y'all cook at home?
12:34A little bit.
12:35Sometimes I'll write out some pots and pans, but I don't know.
12:37Not too much.
12:38I don't really cook at the restaurant, though, so.
12:40What kind of restaurant?
12:41Similar to this.
12:42Okay.
12:42You to cook?
12:44I do some cooking from time to time.
12:45Yeah.
12:46Yeah.
12:46What do you do?
12:47What do I do at the restaurant?
12:49Yeah.
12:49Yeah, what do you do?
12:51I guess I'm like, I don't know how you say it, like, kind of a bit of a song and
12:55dance,
12:55man.
12:55There you go.
12:56There you go.
12:57I don't know.
12:57Public relations, forward-facing, you know.
13:08Dozen, what do you think of the name Annie?
13:15Throw some names at me you like.
13:20Hit me.
13:23You call me crazy, but I actually like your name Althea.
13:26Althea?
13:27Althea.
13:28Althea sounds like the name of, like, somebody that's getting their ass kicked off.
13:31Nah.
13:32Althea?
13:32Althea.
13:36Sounds like a nerd.
13:37Nah.
13:38Althea.
13:39Althea.
13:42Althea later.
13:46Althea around noon.
13:48Althea when I got back from, uh, from social studies.
13:54Althea for dinner.
13:58Althea when I hear.
14:14I met this, uh, Giva that I liked once.
14:18Althea.
14:34Oh, look at these little fuckers.
14:36Oh, these little fuckers are about to get it.
14:39What's up, girls?
14:40Oh, we're gonna fucking, okay.
14:43Yeah, sure.
14:44All right, you little fuckers.
14:47You ready to get some?
14:48It's my second favorite sport right here.
14:52Hey, we got Knicks.
14:55Hey, what's the score of that game right there?
14:58What, you guys hooping or you picking daisies?
15:00Let me and my boy get one of you, we run threes.
15:03Which one?
15:03All right, come on, Daffodil.
15:05You ready to win?
15:06Yeah?
15:07Come here, young butt.
15:07All right, what's going on?
15:08I'm Mikey.
15:08And that's H.U. Jaden.
15:09What's up, buddy?
15:10How are you?
15:11Oh, we gonna have balls like that?
15:12Y'all want five points?
15:13What's up, Mikey?
15:14What's up?
15:14All right, let's run.
15:15I don't even need to warm up.
15:17All right, boys.
15:18Come on, Rich, let's go.
15:19Oh, shit.
15:20It's time for a little silken suede.
15:23Y'all about to get some?
15:23Y'all want to run?
15:24You sure you don't need to stretch?
15:25I don't need to stretch.
15:26I'm about to stretch you, boy.
15:27Hold on, let's wait for him.
15:28You ready?
15:28Yeah.
15:29Hey, good luck, youngsters.
15:31Let's go.
15:31Hold, hold, hold.
15:33Let's see how it works for you.
15:33Come on.
15:35On the air.
15:37I don't know.
15:37I'm sorry, where were you?
15:39All right, play, play, play.
15:40I got big.
15:40Let's go out there.
15:41Stay with him.
15:42Stay in front of him.
15:42Oh, okay.
15:44Oh.
15:45Ha-ha.
15:45That's going to hurt.
15:46Damn.
15:47Let's go.
15:47Yeah.
15:48It's man game.
15:49Now.
15:49It's different.
15:50Let's go.
15:50Ha-ha.
15:52Oh.
15:52You know it's the orange circle, right?
15:55It's the orange circle.
15:55You want to try to get it in that orange circle.
15:58Everyone's afraid of contact out here.
16:00Go to the basket.
16:01Go to the basket.
16:02That ain't happening.
16:03Don't be afraid.
16:04Come on.
16:04It was.
16:07Good for you, Mike.
16:08Every dog has his day.
16:09All right.
16:10Bring it down there again.
16:11It's because I'm covering three guys, Rich.
16:13Let's go.
16:13Play ball.
16:14Ha-ha-ha.
16:16Oh, yeah.
16:17What?
16:17Yo.
16:19It's every time he's beating you in the back fucking door.
16:22Yo.
16:23Keep the fucking door shut.
16:24Do not let him get behind you.
16:26It's this.
16:27Motherfucker.
16:28All right.
16:28Let's go.
16:29Nice play.
16:30Oh.
16:30Where are you going?
16:31Oh, come on.
16:32Let's go.
16:32Fuck.
16:33That's what I'm talking about.
16:34Hey, you got it.
16:35It's one.
16:35That's one.
16:36Let's go.
16:37Hey.
16:37Come on.
16:38Yep.
16:39Hit one.
16:40Come on.
16:41That's a good shot, boy.
16:42Bank's fucking open.
16:43All day long.
16:44I see it.
16:44Hey.
16:45Hey.
16:45Hey.
16:46It's a shot that fucking counts, right?
16:48Let's go.
16:48Play defense, hot shot.
16:51Hit it up.
16:53Let's go.
16:55You all right?
16:55Hey.
16:59Let's go.
16:59Play ball.
17:00Check up.
17:00Check up.
17:01He's crying.
17:02I tell you what.
17:03They breed him soft out here in Indiana.
17:05It ain't the 80s, though.
17:06It ain't the 80s.
17:08It ain't the 80s.
17:09Oh, ha, ha.
17:09Let's go.
17:10Yeah, I don't like your hair.
17:10Did you change your diaper before the game?
17:12Like, do you just play?
17:13What, do you got a swimmer on?
17:14Hey, where's the team?
17:15Huh?
17:15You play with a swimmer on?
17:17Let's go.
17:18Next basket wins.
17:19No.
17:19Come on.
17:19Set a boat.
17:20Yes, sir.
17:21Yes, sir.
17:23Yeah.
17:24Let's go.
17:25Yeah, buddy.
17:25You see that scream?
17:26Yeah.
17:26I'm a fucking lion.
17:27I love it.
17:28I love you, boy.
17:29All day.
17:30Hey, good shit.
17:31Good shit, youngsters.
17:32Good shit.
17:33Look at that.
17:33Look at what he's doing.
17:35Hey, young buck, you're not so bad.
17:37You just miss a back...
17:37How do you miss a back door there?
17:39You see the back of his head, you got a cut to the back, and you're not passing the ball.
17:42Exactly, and that's what I've been trying to tell you.
17:43You guys are fucking garbage.
17:45You Indiana guys are fucking garbage.
17:47Hey, shut your old bitch ass up.
17:49Ooh.
17:49You're negative.
17:51You're negative.
17:52You know what actually I'm about to get you?
17:53Don't get...
17:53No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
17:56It's all right.
17:56Let him play.
17:56Let him play.
17:57Let him play.
17:57We love you.
17:58We love you.
17:58Yo, your fucking Nikes look like fucking moccasins.
18:07Fellas, let's be real.
18:08Gary Indiana.
18:18Hey, you got tall boys?
18:20No tall boys.
18:22Regular boys, like you.
18:24Oh, yeah.
18:25What do we got here?
18:29Hey, yo, yo, yo.
18:30Why are you creeping?
18:35Come on, give me some of that O.E.
18:37Don't focus some of that.
18:40Drink your beer and get out.
18:41Okay, okay.
18:42Don't drink beer in store.
18:44Yo.
18:44I feel sorry for your mother.
18:47Come on.
18:48What'd you say about my mama?
18:50Sorry about my friend.
18:53Two, please.
18:56Let me get a scratch card.
18:59Crescent kick is a defensive maneuver.
19:01That's just, you know, clearing space.
19:03Just to fucking...
19:04Snap kick is for speed.
19:07Don't even see that fucker coming.
19:09But then if you need power, then, you know, it's just fucking side kick.
19:12Bah!
19:12All day.
19:13Break a fucker's knee, right?
19:14Bah!
19:15Ooh, I felt that shit.
19:17Want me to tell you what the move is, though?
19:18Yeah.
19:19Look, dude, I don't want to fight you at all.
19:20I'm just going home.
19:21That's it.
19:22Fucking back kick.
19:24Right?
19:25Back kick.
19:25I was getting there.
19:26I was out.
19:27Ding dong, motherfucker.
19:31Oh, be careful there.
19:32Be careful.
19:32Don't get on the...
19:33Hey, I'm so sorry about...
19:34Oh!
19:35Fuck out!
19:36And it's like so many...
19:37It's like a fucking mule.
19:38Like, think about a mule.
19:39Like, it's these big...
19:40You're actually generating force with, like, the big fucking muscles.
19:44You know what I'm saying?
19:45Yeah.
19:45And it's because you're already going this direction,
19:47then you come in that direction.
19:48You see how just...
19:48Even, like, the sight of it.
19:50You know what I mean?
19:50Yeah.
19:51Fuck yeah.
20:02Why are we starving?
20:06Christmas custom.
20:11Woo-hoo!
20:39Yes, sir.
20:40Oh, yes, sir.
20:42You're fucking unbelievable, bro.
20:48Hey-ho.
20:50You got fucking magic powers, dog.
21:03I love it.
21:07Oh, yes.
21:08Yeah.
21:12Bye-bye.
21:20Oh!
21:22Oh!
21:22Oh!
21:23Who's playing in here?
21:24Who's playing in here?
21:25Who will you love her by your side?
21:27Then you know you're going to have a lot of pleasure.
21:29Don't you worry about a thing.
21:31Come on, dance and sing.
21:33And she'll come up on you.
21:35Yo.
21:36And when that rhythm finally hits you,
21:38and the beat that you do, I guess the things like you do.
21:41Huh?
21:42Cousin, you see that sign right over there?
21:44Yeah.
21:48I think, did you see it before?
21:52What are you talking about?
21:54I'm saying there is no way.
21:58The two of us are sitting here for over an hour,
22:01and neither of us have seen that fucking sign right there.
22:06Yeah, Rich, it's a fucking sign.
22:09I think that bar just appeared.
22:11No, no.
22:11Yo, for real?
22:12Shut the fuck up.
22:13For real, though, I think that bar just fucking appeared.
22:16Michael.
22:17OK, bar just fucking appeared, Rich.
22:19You don't think that's crazy?
22:20It's a fucking bar.
22:23It's a sign.
22:26It's a sign.
22:27It's a sign.
22:27Open.
22:28That sign's a sign.
22:31That sign is a sign.
22:33We're going in there.
22:36Are you fucking retarded?
22:37Are you fucking with us sitting here an hour?
22:39He's going to call any minute.
22:40We're not going in a fucking bar.
22:41What's the big deal?
22:42We can run in a little fucking shot of rhythm and blues.
22:44We're not going in a fucking bar, Rich.
22:46Just sit down and do your fucking job.
22:47Listen to what I'm telling you, Michael.
22:48That sign is a sign.
22:50OK, it's a fucking sign.
22:50Some things are bigger than you and me and fucking Jimmy.
22:53We are going in there.
22:53We're not going in a fucking bar.
22:55Just sit the fuck down.
22:55Man, I hate when you get like this.
22:57I fucking hate that.
22:58Don't hit the fuck.
22:59What are you doing?
23:00What are you fucking doing?
23:01All right.
23:01You're right.
23:02You're right.
23:04We can't do it.
23:05All right.
23:09What are you doing?
23:10Hey, Richie, get in the fucking car.
23:12Rich.
23:13Sir, can you please step out of the vehicle?
23:16Sir, please.
23:16I'm not going to ask you again.
23:17Please step out of the vehicle.
23:19License and registrate.
23:20OK, that's it.
23:21Put your vagina where I can see it.
23:23Put your vagina right where I can see it.
23:26There's fucking houses.
23:27Stop.
23:27Yo.
23:28Yo, come on.
23:29Come on.
23:29We're not going.
23:30Yo, come on.
23:31Let's just go.
23:31I'm not doing that fucking bar.
23:33Just a little shot of rhythm and blues and we come back.
23:35No, we're not doing it.
23:36No, no.
23:36You're fucking here.
23:37You fucking do a shot of fucking cocaine.
23:40You think you can fight a fucking tiger?
23:42Come on.
23:43Stop.
23:44It's fucking terrible.
23:45What's terrible?
23:46I'm like genuinely inspired here and you're just shitting all over my fucking dreams.
23:51It's terrible.
23:52I hope you feel good about yourself right now.
23:55Why are you pressuring me?
23:56Come on.
23:58All right.
23:58Fuck you.
24:00I'm going in.
24:01You're going?
24:02I'm going in.
24:04Oh, shit.
24:06Yo.
24:07I'm good?
24:08How do I look?
24:09You look like a fucking barbarian.
24:10You look like my father.
24:13All right.
24:13I'm going in.
24:14Yo.
24:16Punk if you need me to.
24:18Yeah!
24:19Arrah!
24:21You'll fucking see.
24:23You'll fucking see.
24:26You're gonna remember this fucking day.
24:42That's a fuckin' sign!
24:50That's a fuckin' sign!
24:58That's a fuckin' sign!
25:28So I start my mission, leave my residence
25:31Thinkin' how I coulda get some debt presents
25:33I need money
25:34I used to be a stick-up kid
25:36So I think of all the devious things I did
25:38I used to roll up, cause there's a hole up
25:40Ain't nothin' funny, stop smilin'
25:41Still don't nothin' move but the money
25:43But now I learn to earn cause I'm righteous
25:46I feel great, so maybe I might just search for a nine to five
25:51Hey!
25:53You Mike?
25:56Yeah.
25:59Is it true?
26:01What's that?
26:03I'm one of the goalies for the Blackhawks?
26:09Yeah?
26:10An e-bug?
26:13That's right
26:16What is that? What's an e-bug?
26:19It's an emergency backup goalie
26:22Yeah
26:24I like never play but I'm with the squad
26:27That's cool
26:28Mm
26:29That's cool
26:33Yeah, your buddy told us about you
26:36Yeah, I bet he did
26:39He also said, um, tell you to put your big boy pants on
26:45And join us in the bar
26:48And join us in the bar
26:48Sounds about right
26:50Oh boy
26:51Just a messenger
26:52I got it, okay
26:53It's pretty fun though
26:54Okay
26:55Think you like it?
26:56Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay
27:04Okay, okay, okay, okay
27:24I'm so embarrassed to tell them that I knocked on the door of the house and convinced them to let
27:29me just come inside for a little bit
27:32It's a fact
27:33It's a fact
27:33It's a fact
27:34It's a fact
27:51It's a fact
27:54Can you take another crack at this?
27:55All right, all right, all right, all right
27:56Okay, um, my senior year, uh, I was doing pretty well in school, but with fucking maths, I'm with my
28:04fucking lambium, you know?
28:05So, my grandma
28:06And look who the cat drug is
28:07Hey, everybody
28:08Yo, you see this?
28:10Fucking great
28:14Um, so my grandma, she gave me an ultimatum
28:16She was like, you gotta get a math tutor
28:19And so she told me about this lady, Rock Solano, who sang in her church choir, who, she was like,
28:25uh, a math professor for Cook's County Community
28:30And I was like, no fucking way, grandma, I don't wanna fucking do this
28:32I don't wanna do the math tutor with some fucking 90-year-old, like, you know, fucking babushka
28:37Like, yeah, you know what I'm saying?
28:39Like, so, but she was like, listen, you gotta do it or you gotta move out
28:43So, come Thursday, 7.30, I'm at this dude's house
28:48Eating his fucking mom's golden lasagne, you know?
28:51Okay
28:51And I realized, like, I gotta be at, uh, at Rock Solano's, this tutor's, you know, in like, five minutes
28:57So I fucking down my cranberry juice, and I fucking sprint over there, ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba
29:02-ba
29:02Knock on the door
29:04And this fucking woman that opens the door, I swear to God, like, straight out of Sports Illustrated fucking swimsuit
29:11issue
29:12This is the most gorgeous woman I've ever seen, up to this point
29:16Jet black hair, long, all the way down, just kissing kind of the top of her butt, you know?
29:21And we get in, what? What? What? What? What? What?
29:25You guys willing to factor fix me in, or you wanna hear more of the story?
29:29You wanna hear the story? Yeah, you wanna hear the story, okay?
29:31Alright, so we get in there, we're talking math, and all of a sudden, I feel my entire insides just
29:40turn to liquid
29:41And I gotta take a shit, like, bad
29:44But I know that she got one little bathroom right there, this tiny thing, and I know if I go
29:48in there, she's gonna hear everything, you know?
29:52And I'm just like, I mean, on the outside, I'm cool as a cucumber, you know, we're talking math
29:57And on the inside, I'm just like, come on, asshole, don't you fucking fail me now, baby
30:02And somehow, by the grace of God, I make it through this fucking tutor session, right?
30:09That's not helpful
30:12So, Roxanne, a pleasure to meet you, I'll see you next Thursday, you know, bah, bah, bah
30:15I get off, I get outside, and I'm like, yes, I'm gonna fucking make it
30:19I start to walk, quickly back up, back down, and it just comes out, that's it
30:24And it's just like, that's what's happening, that's what is happening
30:28And I'm just, I start to pull my drawers down, my pants down
30:32I look like one of those photographs of the guys that just discovered oil, you know?
30:37Like, stuff is gurgling, I can't tell what's coming up
30:39And it's just like, so mud, and shit, and everywhere
30:43And, and it's, like, I have this incredible feeling of relief, right?
30:49Until, I see her little porch light come on, and time slows down
30:54And I see her doorknob turn, and open, and I look at her, and she looks at me very quickly
31:00And then she quickly looks away, and, and I just fucking take off
31:06Through the hedges, and I'm just fucking running
31:09I'm just heading right back to Michael's house
31:11And I'm covered with brambles, and my balls are slapping on either side
31:15And I just got, like, a trail behind me, and I just can't stop laughing
31:19And I'm crying with laughter, because I know in six blocks down fucking Milwaukee
31:23I'm gonna be at this dude's house, and I'm gonna tell him this story
31:26And this motherfucker is gonna love it
31:29Factor Fiction
31:34Sadly, sadly, it is a bad
31:36Sadly, it is a fucking bad reason
31:40I love you
31:43I'm alright, I'm done, but this, this is what's on me
31:46I, I subject you guys to it
31:48Alright, hold on, I'll be right back, I'll be right back
32:00You know I know, right?
32:02What's it?
32:04Huh?
32:08You know I know, you're not a goalie for that
32:10Ah, yes, that's total bullshit, yeah
32:14Hmm
32:19What gave it away?
32:23Something in your eyes
32:25Yeah
32:25Fair, fair
32:30You prefer Mike? Mikey, Michael?
32:34It's, it's gotta be your call
32:36Yeah
32:38No preference
32:39Preference, up to the customer
32:41Ooh
32:44How about you, what, what, what's your name, can you tell me?
32:48Guess
32:49Guess?
32:51Oh man, Daphne
32:53Bridget, I don't know, what?
32:57Oh boy, Shonda, shit, shit, shit, shit
33:00Fuck, I don't know
33:01Sherry, okay
33:04Sherry from Gary
33:05Oh hey, that's the first I've ever heard that real quick
33:13You don't wanna play the game, huh?
33:15Yeah
33:18I don't know if that one's for me, I mean, you, you, you wanna go, this
33:24Sure, I'll go
33:25Yeah?
33:26Yeah
33:28Fact or fiction?
33:30Michael?
33:31Hello
33:32Okay
33:35Ask me a question
33:37You from here?
33:44I am not from Indiana
33:49I am from Portland
33:51Maine, not Oregon
33:53Okay
33:56What are you doing here?
33:59Needed to start over
34:00Okay
34:01I had to get away from someone, something
34:04Got in my 88 Honda Accord and started driving west
34:08And my car broke down, not too far from here
34:11My mom's favorite movie was
34:1311 in the afternoon, starring Gary Cooper
34:17She always said she would have named me Gary if I was a boy
34:19So I saw the sign and I was like
34:22Alright, ma
34:24Stayed one night, it was quiet
34:28Like a ghost town, you know what I mean?
34:29Mm-hmm
34:32Capstan
34:33Mm-hmm
34:33Work at this jazz joint, jazz joint down on Broadway called Dirties
34:39Dirties?
34:39Yeah, I worked the bar
34:40You like it?
34:41It's great
34:42Why?
34:45Come on, what's not to like about a daily jazz and blues joint in Gary, Indiana?
34:54I...
34:56See, that is a fact
35:01Thanks
35:01No, really?
35:03Yeah
35:03Fuck
35:05Fuck
35:07That Gary Cooper shit, that was suspect as a motherfucker
35:09No, that's real
35:10No, that's real
35:11No, it's not
35:11Oh, fuck
35:14Tiff, it's me, it's Richie
35:16Wait, no, I can barely hear you
35:18Tiff, it's me, Richard
35:20Where are you?
35:22I'm in fucking Gary
35:23It's so loud there
35:24It's going so good
35:26You sound like you're in a bar, are you in a bar?
35:28We're in a bar
35:29Why are you in a bar?
35:32Because the clients
35:33Like a shim bottle
35:35The clients from Jimmy
35:37The clients from Jimmy
35:37Tiff, it's going so fucking good
35:40Okay
35:40Mikey is so smooth
35:42So fucking smooth
35:43I can't really...
35:44Mikey is so smooth
35:46Okay
35:46Well, I'm in such a good time
35:48Okay, you can't hear me because I'm here, please give me you
35:52Hello?
35:53How, how, how, how, how are you feeling?
35:56You can do it again?
35:58Yeah?
35:59Alright, I was born and raised right the fuck here in Gary, Indiana
36:02Okay, okay
36:02I lived here my whole life
36:03I loved to travel
36:05Gone everywhere
36:06But I lived here my whole life
36:08I loved trains
36:09Do not put me on a boat
36:11Let's see
36:12I got two older sisters
36:14They got a different dad
36:15Who I thought was Santa Claus
36:17When I was 11 years old
36:18I'm not shitting about that one
36:20Um
36:21I had ovarian cancer when I was 22
36:23Yeah
36:26My mom is okay
36:27My dad is
36:29Not
36:31I have a three-legged dog named Lucky
36:34He's the coolest dude in town
36:37And I studied to be an arborist
36:39An arborist?
36:40Yeah
36:42You like trees?
36:43I do
36:44You do? Why?
36:44Where do you like trees?
36:47They're quiet
36:49Sturdy
36:49Reliable
36:50They're always there when you need them
36:51Yeah
36:53And they're pretty
36:58That's a fucking fact
37:02Maybe
37:05It's a fact
37:07Maybe, maybe not
37:08What makes you say it's a fact?
37:11You just
37:12I don't know
37:13You're just speaking from your heart
37:15Right?
37:22What are you looking for, Michael?
37:32Anything?
37:33Anything?
37:44Oh
37:46There you are, Sarah
37:56You just called me Sarah
38:01You're a pretty hombre
38:04You're what he fucking calls me
38:07Okay, so
38:08It's 317 right now
38:10I got enough time to be home by 515, right?
38:13Oh, yeah
38:14Right again?
38:15Yeah, yeah
38:16Oh, if the train isn't running
38:18Oh
38:20What happens with the train?
38:21Oh, you'll get caught behind
38:23It is
38:25Oh
38:25Oh
38:26Oh
38:27Oh
38:28Oh
38:28Okay
38:28Alright, thanks God
38:30Do you leave yourself a buffer?
38:32That's like kind of the whole operation, you know?
38:34Wow
38:34So you like work for him?
38:36Yeah
38:37I mean, I'm
38:38I'm self-employed, you know?
38:40Yeah, yeah
38:41So you're the boss
38:44Yeah, I guess
38:45I'm the boss
38:46And a lot of people depend on you, huh?
38:49I mean, I depend on a lot of people
38:53I bet you're a good leader
39:00People like
39:04Like people say things about me
39:07Then what do they say?
39:10They say that I don't finish things
39:16Fact or fiction, Michael
39:22You mind if I do a poem?
39:25I thought you were going to be you
39:30That's
39:32That's the coolest thing I've ever heard
39:37Do you plan to be there for him?
39:39Yeah, yeah
39:39No, I'm going to be back
39:40We're just down here one, two
39:41Wrapping up some business
39:42And then I'll be back up there
39:45Put my catcher's mitt on
39:46Ready to fucking go
39:48Yeah, yeah, yeah
39:49I can't tell you that
39:51You're like a birthday witch
39:52No, no, no
39:52I would tell you
39:53But my wife's got all
39:54She's all superstitious
39:56About a lot of this stuff
39:57And she was like
39:57She didn't want to be
39:58Considered that stuff
39:59We're having a girl
40:00I can't tell you we're having a girl
40:01Oh!
40:02Yeah, yeah
40:06I'm coming
40:07I'm good
40:08No
40:08I'm good
40:08I'm good
40:09I'm good
40:09I'm good
40:14I'm good
40:14And there was this
40:18When I was a kid, you know
40:20Yeah
40:20My mom, she used to do this thing
40:22Where like when she was
40:23Like on like the perfect mixture
40:25Of like all kinds of fucking things
40:27In her system
40:27You know
40:28Just like perfect
40:30She'd like come into my room
40:31In the middle of the night
40:32You know
40:32And she'd like scratch my back
40:33And she had like the longest nails
40:35And she just
40:35You know
40:36And she used to
40:37She used to walk me through my day
40:38You know
40:39Like the most fucking minute details
40:42You know
40:42Like describing every little fucking bit
40:44Of fabric of the fucking day
40:45You know
40:46Like what we were going to eat
40:47When we were going to wake up
40:48What I was going to wear
40:48What was going to be on the radio
40:49Like every fucking thing
40:51You know
40:51And just like
40:53It would make me feel like
40:55I don't know
40:55Like I
40:55It would just make me feel so relaxed
40:57Yeah
40:58Yeah
40:59Yeah
40:59And like no matter what was going to happen that day
41:01Didn't matter
41:02Like fucking tests
41:03Or some shit bag
41:04I had to fucking deal with
41:05Like I knew that
41:06And she had planned it for me
41:08It was great
41:08And I remember
41:09There was just one time
41:10I was like
41:10Hey ma
41:13Hey ma
41:13Will you come in and tell me
41:14About my day tomorrow
41:15And she was like
41:17She like got angry
41:18You know
41:18And she was like
41:19She was like
41:20Mike you
41:21The fucking difference does it make
41:22It's just a day
41:25Like
41:27I did
41:28I just didn't understand
41:29How that could be like
41:31Like
41:32Like how that could be the same person
41:34You know
41:34Yeah
41:36That's so scary
41:37Yeah
41:38Yeah
41:39Yeah she shouldn't have done that
41:45I could get her best
41:46Can I sit with you?
41:49Yeah I wish you would
41:55Come on in the water it's fine
41:56Oh boy
41:58His first impulse
42:00Was the fucking movie
42:02You know what I'm saying?
42:03You know what I'm saying?
42:04The one without the narration
42:05Yeah
42:06That's the one
42:07Okay
42:08Okay
42:09I gotta call my uncle
42:10Call him
42:11Alright
42:11Call him
42:12Let's talk
42:12Everyone call their uncle
42:14Jimmy it's rich
42:15Where the fuck are you?
42:16Alright
42:18Call me back
42:20This is just like
42:21This is just like
42:22You know this way of seeing the world
42:24You know like this perspective
42:25You know this lens that I've always had
42:27Like these things that just bother people
42:29And hurt people
42:30And make them frustrated or furious
42:32You know?
42:33Like to me it just
42:35I never got it
42:36Like it didn't affect me like that
42:37No it doesn't fucking
42:38Nothing matters
42:39Nothing fucking matters
42:40Nothing fucking matters
42:41Nothing fucking matters
42:42And I get that right?
42:43Yeah
42:43It's meaningless
42:44So why
42:45And then
42:46When I'd go on that trip
42:48Like I could catch this groove
42:49You know?
42:49Sometimes for like weeks
42:50At a time you know?
42:51Like sometimes for months
42:52I'd just like have
42:53This like bliss you know?
42:55And yeah I know I'm like
42:57Like
42:57I'm like all fucking like babbling and shit
43:00Like here in a fucking bathroom
43:01Like a fucking baby
43:01But I could be
43:03Like I could be a fucking blast
43:04I can be a blast
43:05Like I can share it you know?
43:07And then
43:08All of a sudden
43:09Like out of nowhere
43:09Those same thoughts
43:10Like this kind of meaninglessness
43:12Of it all
43:13You know?
43:16It like makes me sad
43:17Yeah
43:19Nothing matters
43:20It sets you free
43:20But then where are you right?
43:22It's the same thing
43:23You know where?
43:23It's the same thing
43:24And then I'm like
43:26Like so sad
43:26Like I'm fucking drowning
43:27You know?
43:28My jaw feels fucking like
43:29A million fucking pounds
43:30And I
43:30It's like I don't wanna
43:33That sounds exhausting
43:37You must be really tired
43:39You must be really tired
44:21To be
44:24To be
44:26Oh, give me.
44:48Buddy, you over there?
44:49Yeah, Rich, I'm good, I'm good, I'm coming.
44:51All right, we gotta go.
44:53Yeah.
44:54Sorry, I'm sorry to interrupt you guys.
44:55Cousin, we gotta, we gotta go.
44:57Okay, we're going.
44:58Rich, don't do that.
44:59I said I'm coming.
45:00Okay, we're fucking going.
45:03Cousin, he said he hasn't heard from you all day.
45:07His guy is waiting.
45:08Okay, I heard you.
45:09Cousin, I'm coming.
45:11Fuck, man.
45:13That's...
45:31Hey, I'll come back.
45:32long time.
45:42I'll come back.
45:44It's...
45:44...
46:45Let's get out of here.
46:46What about my turn?
46:48It's been a pleasure to meet you all.
46:50Hang on, hang on.
46:52Hey, we're in America, though, right?
46:53Last time I checked, Gary, Indiana is in the sovereign United States.
46:56Is it not, Vanessa?
46:58Are we not in America?
46:59Everybody get a turn?
47:00Everybody gets a turn?
47:01Fucking how great are you fucking people?
47:03How great is this fucking...
47:05This place got fucking heart, you know?
47:08That's what I was trying to tell you.
47:09It's magic.
47:10This place is magic.
47:14All right.
47:16You know, we're just a pair of fucking wired and worried travelers, and we fucking love
47:20it here.
47:20We thank you.
47:21We thank you, Gary, fucking Indiana.
47:23We thank you.
47:25Magic.
47:26Magic.
47:26You know, I just want to take this opportunity because right now, my, uh, my fine furry cousin
47:34right there, my fucking best friend, any second now, he's gonna be a dad.
47:41And not only that, not only that, not only that, hey, he's happy.
47:47He's happy.
47:49Rich, you're happy.
47:52Right now, I swear, this is, this is the most, it's like the most healthy and, like,
47:59you're, you're, you're full.
48:02You're full.
48:03And I love it.
48:04He's in love.
48:06You know?
48:07Fucker cannot wait to be a father either.
48:09I mean, he can't fucking, he can't, he can't fucking wait.
48:13I mean, he, he's got this pride.
48:19You're glowing, Rich.
48:23You're glowing.
48:24I love you.
48:24It's my fucking boy.
48:25I love you.
48:26I love you.
48:27I love you so much.
48:29I fucking love you.
48:30Look at him.
48:31He's gonna be a dad.
48:32Look at him.
48:32Look at him.
48:32He's fucking, that's gonna be a father.
48:34That.
48:34That right there is gonna be a father, right?
48:37Fucking kid's gonna end up abandoned and alone just like he was.
48:41But hey, shit.
48:42Hey, at least you went into it with a good fucking mindset.
48:45Right, kid?
48:45Huh?
48:46I mean, no, no, no, no, no, no.
48:47It's okay.
48:47No, I love it.
48:48That's, that's the thing.
48:49That's the thing you gotta know about Rich, man, is that the one thing that you can absolutely
48:54fucking depend on with this fucking guy is that if he is involved, he's gonna fuck it up.
48:59I mean, he is gonna fuck it up.
49:00And everybody knows it.
49:02I mean, no, no, no, nobody says it, right?
49:03Nobody says it.
49:04Because everybody's a fucking coward and a fucking liar.
49:07But this isn't gonna be any fucking different.
49:09I mean, he's gonna fuck this.
49:10He's gonna, his entire life is a fucking bed that he took a shit in the middle of and
49:14he just smears it, right?
49:15And that's what's beautiful.
49:16Look at him.
49:17It's beautiful.
49:17But he's gotta fuck this up too.
49:19Right?
49:20No, no, no, no, no, no.
49:21It's okay.
49:21It's okay.
49:21Everybody knows it.
49:23They don't say it, but they, look, look.
49:25Ooh.
49:27Ooh.
49:27Look at his eyes.
49:28Look at those beady little fucking eyes.
49:30He knows it too.
49:31That's the fucking thing.
49:32All right.
49:32He knows it too.
49:33Well, all right, what?
49:34We gotta go.
49:34We gotta go.
49:35Where we going?
49:37Where we fucking going?
49:39Yo, we got this meme.
49:40Yeah, yeah, yeah.
49:40We got it.
49:41You know what you oughta do?
49:42You oughta get in the fucking truck and just start fucking driving.
49:45Just fucking bolt, right?
49:47Just fucking, you wanna do that kid of yours a favor?
49:49Just fucking bolt.
49:50Just fucking hit the fucking road and do not come back.
49:52You wanna do him a favor, right?
49:54Okay.
49:54No, it's fine.
49:55It doesn't matter.
49:56It doesn't matter.
49:57It's the truth.
49:58It's the truth.
49:59What, you gonna be a good father?
50:00Is that what you gotta be?
50:02Huh, Ronald McDonald?
50:03You gonna be a good father?
50:04Are you gonna be a good father?
50:06It doesn't matter.
50:07It doesn't matter.
50:08Just say it.
50:08Just say it.
50:09You're gonna fuck it up, right?
50:10Come on, you're not mad.
50:11Don't be mad.
50:12You're not mad.
50:14Are you mad?
50:15Are you mad?
50:16You're not mad.
50:17You're not mad.
50:18No, just say it.
50:19Stop it.
50:20No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
50:21Stop that.
50:23He's telling the fucking truth, finally.
50:25He's telling the fucking truth.
50:27Say it again.
50:27You hate me?
50:28You hate me, Rich?
50:30You gotta fuck this up, Rich.
50:31Just say that and we'll go.
50:33Say it and we'll go.
50:34Ooh.
50:34Hey, hey, hey.
50:35All right.
50:36Whoa.
50:40Stop.
50:41You're not lying anymore.
50:42Why are you doing this?
50:43I love you.
50:44Why are you doing this?
50:45I love you.
50:46Why are you doing this?
50:48I love you.
50:48You're a coward, Rich.
50:50You're a fucking coward.
50:52I'm a coward?
50:53You're a coward.
50:54I'm a coward.
50:57You're a coward.
50:58Coward.
51:10Kid's gonna hate you, Rich.
51:15Kid's gonna...
51:18This is...
51:22No, no, no.
51:23Eh, mm-mm.
51:53Oh, my God.
52:32Oh, my God.
52:48Hey.
52:50One of you, Mikey?
52:56This is for Jimmy.
53:10What's in the box?
53:37What's in the box?
53:43What do, uh...
53:46What do plastic pump impellers do?
53:49They rotate.
54:00What's your room?
54:02Probably not.
54:04FedEx strikes are over.
54:08Oh, my God.
54:14Oh, my God.
54:39What's in the box?
54:41Oh, my God.
54:47I don't know.
54:47I don't know.
54:48I'm not sure.
54:49I'm not sure.
54:54I'm not sure.
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