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Late Night with Seth Meyers - Season 13 - Episode 19: James Acaster
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00:05From 30 Rockefeller Plaza in New York, it's Late Night with Seth Meyers.
00:12Tonight, Bailey Cuoco.
00:15Comedian, James Acaster.
00:18An all-new, closer look.
00:25And now, Seth Meyers.
00:28Good evening, everybody.
00:29I'm Seth Meyers.
00:30This is Late Night.
00:31We hope you're doing well.
00:32And now, if you don't mind, we're going to get to the news.
00:34President Trump sat for an interview today with NBC News anchor Tom Llamas, or as he introduced
00:40himself to Trump, Tom Johnson.
00:45During his White House visit yesterday, Colombian President Gustavo Petro reportedly presented
00:51President Trump with chocolate and coffee.
00:53Well, I'm sure he ate the chocolate, but let's also hope he drank the coffee.
01:00During an Oval Office event on Monday, President Trump said that the Justice Department should
01:04stop releasing documents from the Epstein files.
01:07Well, of course he did.
01:08That's like Spirit Airlines saying I should stop releasing the monologue.
01:12It's because they know they're in it.
01:17During an Oval Office signing ceremony yesterday, President Trump promoted First Lady Melania
01:21Trump's new documentary and called her a, quote, movie star.
01:25All right, let's not go overboard.
01:28It's a documentary.
01:30It's not like those penguins got paid $20 million for their next picture.
01:35Calling their agents like, no, there's no work.
01:37There's no work.
01:39Can you do other burns?
01:42During an Oval Office signing ceremony yesterday, President Trump also criticized CNN reporter Caitlin
01:48Collins and said he never sees her smile.
01:51Oh, so she's his type.
02:00When asked on Monday about the Trump family's cryptocurrency company, President Trump said
02:04that his sons were the ones who brokered a deal to sell an equity stake to an investment firm
02:10tied to the United Arab Emirates for $500 million.
02:13If you want to know how many zeros that is, two.
02:20The Smithsonian's National Zoo this week welcomed an elephant calf after a 21-month gestation
02:25which weighed more than 300 pounds at birth.
02:28So good luck to the father ever winning an argument again.
02:34Maybe she'll forget.
02:41A 90-year-old English teacher in Michigan set the Guinness World Record this week for
02:45longest career in the classroom after teaching for 67 years.
02:49And this is exciting.
02:50She earned three vacation days.
02:58A hospital in France was evacuated recently after a male patient allegedly arrived with
03:04a World War I artillery shell in his rectum.
03:08Wow.
03:09I mean, I know men tend to put off doctor's visits, but that's just crazy.
03:19So it happened during World War I, and he just went to the doctor.
03:25I was lying on my belly in the foxhole.
03:32And finally, a New Jersey man was arrested at Miami International Airport over the weekend
03:37after authorities found more than 80 pounds of a cannabis concentrate product in his luggage.
03:42But how else was he supposed to get through the flight?
03:45See, I told you!
03:47That was a monologue, everybody.
03:51Got a great show for you tonight.
03:53You know her from hit shows such as The Big Bang Theory and The Flight Attendant.
03:58And she's starring in the limited series, Vanished, which premieres this week on MGM+.
04:03Kaley Cuoco is back on the show, everybody!
04:07He's one of our favorite guests, one of the funniest people I know.
04:11Our friend James Acaster is back as well.
04:16But before we get to that, Donald Trump is reportedly skipping the Super Bowl because
04:21he's afraid to get booed and threatening to seize control of elections after a string of
04:26major losses.
04:27For more on this, it's time for A Closer Look.
04:33The Super Bowl is on Sunday, and if there's one thing we know about Donald Trump, it's
04:37that he loves football.
04:38A few months ago, he made a guest appearance in the booth during an NFL game where he was
04:43asked which New York football team he likes, and he picked both.
04:47So, I love the Jets, and I love the Giants.
04:50I had a lot of friends, Bob Tisch, and some people that owned the Giants at the time,
04:53as we're going along and progressing.
04:56And, you know, look, we had a couple of Super Bowls with the Giants.
04:59The Jets have been having a little bit of a hard time.
05:01A little bit of a hard time is the nicest possible way to describe the last 50-plus years
05:08of the Jets.
05:10Things have been a little bit bumpy since 1969.
05:13They got a little thrown by the moon landing and haven't fully bounced back.
05:19Also, Trump lies about everything, everything, but even he can't lie about the Jets.
05:24I'd love to say the games are rigged, but we can all see with our eyes they're not.
05:28There's no fraud.
05:30And we looked.
05:31I had Rudy go down to MetLife Stadium and check the footballs to make sure they weren't
05:35deflated.
05:35Unfortunately, we found him wandering around a gristides squeezing a ham.
05:41Boss, there's something off with this football.
05:44It's not kosher!
05:49Once Trump was done giving out the hard truths about the Jets, he went right back to lying
05:54about how great things are.
05:55We're doing great, and recruitment is doing phenomenally.
05:58People have spirit.
06:00Our stock market hit an all-time high.
06:02Prices are coming down.
06:03We inherited a mess.
06:05Prices are coming way down.
06:06First of all, prices are not coming down.
06:08That would be deflation.
06:10Even if the rate of inflation slows down, it's still inflation, which means prices are going
06:14up.
06:14Also, why the are you making me think about this during a football game?
06:18I don't want to do economics.
06:21I want to drink a beer and yell at the TV while my wife asks me where our kids are.
06:26Lady, I don't know.
06:30Given Trump's love of football and attention, you might have expected him to show up at the
06:34Super Bowl on Sunday, especially since he was at last year's Super Bowl, but the president
06:37has decided the trip will be too arduous.
06:40President Trump tells the New York Post he won't be attending this year's Super Bowl
06:44in San Francisco, saying it's too far away.
06:47It's too far away?
06:50You know you have your own plane, right?
06:52Like, we weren't expecting you to pile into a station wagon with Eric, Don Jr., and Melania.
06:58All right, everyone, we got a full tank of gas, a bag of cassette tapes, and for snacks,
07:03Mom has a cooler full of Melania pops, a mean ice cube on a stick.
07:10But Trump's excuse doesn't track.
07:12This is the same guy who has now done multiple trips to the Middle East and Asia, but San
07:17Francisco is too far away?
07:18Or was it because you're worried they won't give you a dumb gift for making the trip?
07:22Because we know you love a dumb trip gift.
07:24The U.S. president is in South Korea this hour.
07:27Donald Trump was presented with one of the country's highest honors.
07:31They also received a lavish gift, a replica of an ancient crown.
07:36Takaichi, even at this bilateral meeting, we saw her gift Trump a golf club.
07:41She also gifted him a golden golf ball.
07:44Saudi Arabia had a McDonald's mobile truck.
07:48Look at that thing.
07:49That's what I call hospitality.
07:52Everywhere he goes, they have to give him a crown and McDonald's like it's his fifth birthday.
07:58I bet he's lying in bed right now when the cover is pulled up to his eyes saying,
08:02maybe I'll go to San Francisco if they let me drive the trolley.
08:06No one ever let me drive it.
08:08I'd be good at trolley.
08:10So Trump claims he can't make it to the Super Bowl because it's too far away,
08:13but I wonder if there's another reason he might not want to attend a football game
08:17in the current political climate.
08:18Football fans could be heard booing President Trump during his appearance at the Lions and
08:23Commanders game.
08:24The crowd loudly booed as Trump was introduced and shown on the Jumbotron during halftime.
08:30He was there to swear in new military members.
08:33I can sing your name.
08:38Okay, okay, okay.
08:39But in fairness, it was woke night at the stadium.
08:42And what a night it was.
08:44The theys beat the thems 31 to 27.
08:48But of course, as much as the Trump might want to blame the wokes,
08:51the reality is he knows how unpopular he is right now,
08:53not just with the wokes, but also with the waking ups,
08:55the still groggies, and even the sound of sleeps.
08:57In recent months, several aides and advisors to the president quietly determined
09:01that the chances were rather high of Trump getting booed big league at the Super Bowl.
09:05In the words of one White House official,
09:07Oh, yeah, did they crunch the numbers and calculate that the odds of Trump getting booed were high?
09:12Did he have his best data nerds running complex algorithms?
09:16Mr. Trump, we've been up all night cross-referencing the demographics of San Francisco
09:20and the residents of Seattle and New England,
09:22along with the demographics of people who are, quote,
09:25bad bunny superfans.
09:27And here's what the computer spit out.
09:31Of course, of course, of course Trump is worried about getting booed.
09:37His approval ratings have been at all-time lows,
09:40and his party's getting shellacked everywhere,
09:41even in deep red states like Texas.
09:43Democrats picked up a stunning victory in a special election runoff
09:47for a Texas state Senate seat.
09:49Taylor Romet flipped the solidly red Senate District 9,
09:52which represents Fort Worth and some surrounding suburbs,
09:55defeating Republican Lee Wamsgons by 14 points.
09:58It's a part of Tarrant County,
09:59where no Democrat has won a state Senate seat since 1978.
10:03This was a district that Donald Trump won by 17 points in 2024.
10:08The Democratic candidate in the special election on Saturday,
10:11hello, won it by 14 points.
10:14That's an over 30-point shift to the left.
10:19Democrats are doing, get this, 12 points better,
10:2212 points better than Kamala Harris did in 2024.
10:26This has been true for 10 years.
10:27It's what we here at Late Night call the Trump paradox.
10:29The only way to beat Donald Trump is to first lose to Donald Trump.
10:32It's the only way.
10:34He runs for president, says,
10:35if I win, everything will be awesome.
10:36And people say, oh my God, I like the sound of awesome.
10:38And then he wins and everything sucks.
10:39And then people say, oh, I don't like this at all.
10:42And then they vote against him.
10:44And the pattern just repeats itself forever and forever
10:46until the sun swallows the earth
10:49or the Jets win the Super Bowl, whichever comes first.
10:52Also, I just want to say,
10:53I love getting my news from a New Yorker.
10:56This guy talks about elections like he's standing in front of a cab
10:59in the middle of Fifth Avenue.
11:00Hey, hello, I'm talking about poll numbers here.
11:04So the midterms are looking very bad for Republicans,
11:06which is why Trump has a new strategy.
11:08Instead of winning people over by doing things they like,
11:12just seize control of elections.
11:14New comments from President Trump are adding to concerns
11:16among Democrats that he may try to interfere
11:20with this year's midterm elections.
11:21Speaking on a conservative podcast,
11:23Trump suggested Republicans take over
11:26the voting in multiple states.
11:27The president made these new comments about the election process
11:31during an appearance on the podcast
11:32of his former FBI deputy director, Dan Bongino.
11:36The Republicans should say, we want to take over.
11:39We should take over the voting,
11:40the voting in at least many, 15 places.
11:45The Republicans ought to nationalize the voting.
11:48And then we have states that are so crooked
11:51and they're counting votes.
11:52We have states that I won that show I didn't win.
11:55You know, like the 2020 election.
11:57I won that election by so much.
11:59Everybody does it.
12:00This is such a sign of how dumb and weird everything is.
12:03Not the president is threatening to seize control of elections,
12:07but that he's doing it on a podcast.
12:09And it's not just any podcast.
12:10It's a podcast hosted by his former deputy FBI director,
12:13Dan Bongino, a guy who promised to expose
12:15the truth behind the Epstein scandal,
12:17then said there was no truth to expose, then quit.
12:20Then we found out there was so much to expose,
12:21and then he just went right back to being a podcaster.
12:23The fact that anyone gives this guy any credibility
12:26is a reminder the Trump world just wants to be told
12:29what they already believe.
12:30He should host a podcast called
12:31It's Not Your Fault You Can't Get Laid, Dude.
12:33You're a Catch.
12:35Trump's agenda on virtually everything,
12:37from the economy to immigration to the Epstein scandal
12:40is wildly unpopular.
12:41His approval rating has been at all-time lows,
12:43and he can't even show up to a football game
12:45without being booed.
12:46Much like his beloved Jets, he's having...
12:48A little bit of a hard time.
12:49This has been A Closer Look.
12:55We'll be right back with Kaley Cuomo, everybody!
13:03For more of Seth's Closer Looks,
13:05be sure to subscribe to Late Night on YouTube.
13:16Our first guest tonight is an Emmy-nominated actress,
13:19the producer.
13:20You know from her work in shows such as
13:22The Big Bang Theory, The Flight Attendant,
13:24and Based on a True Story.
13:25You can see her next in the four-part limited series
13:28Vanished, which premiered this week on MGM+.
13:31Let's take a look.
13:32Do you know where I could find him?
13:34Uh, why?
13:36Uh, it's personal.
13:37Do you have an address or a number or something?
13:40Oh, I'm afraid I can't leave his address to a stranger,
13:42but how do you know Maurice Giroux?
13:44I don't.
13:45He was the conductor on a train I checked recently,
13:47and I need to tell...
13:48Yeah, okay.
13:49I'm sorry, mademoiselle.
13:50I...
13:51I can't just give out his address, you understand?
13:55Yes, of course.
13:57Okay.
13:58Sorry.
14:05We actually slept together about a month ago.
14:08It wasn't a big deal, kind of casual,
14:09but now it is a big deal
14:10because I'm pregnant with Maurice's child.
14:12I need to speak to him right now.
14:13Please welcome back to the show
14:15the delightful Kaley Cuomo, everybody!
14:32Hi, Kaley.
14:34How are you?
14:35I want to ask about your show,
14:36but I'd like to do a dog update first.
14:39Oh, which one?
14:40Well, I know you've got two,
14:42so let's start with Red.
14:44Red's the grouch.
14:45Red, you love Red.
14:46The tongue.
14:46You and Red always has a tongue out,
14:49no matter what.
14:50Yeah.
14:51He's very grouchy.
14:53And it's weird,
14:53because I think tongue out,
14:54you don't think of somebody with a tongue out
14:55as being grouchy.
14:56It's more like,
14:57I'm down to party, right?
14:58No, he is an angry, angry dog.
15:00Look, I mean,
15:01the donut doesn't help in this one,
15:02but no.
15:03He has no teeth,
15:04so it's something to be angry about.
15:05Yes, gotcha.
15:06He's pissed.
15:07He can't actually bite you.
15:08Okay.
15:09Oh, so...
15:09It makes him mad.
15:10That's so funny.
15:11He has no teeth.
15:11Yeah.
15:12When does he not appreciate
15:14that a lot of people
15:14wouldn't want a dog like Red?
15:16No, trust me,
15:17I tell him that constantly.
15:19I'm like,
15:19no one wanted you.
15:20Yeah.
15:21No one.
15:21You should love me.
15:23It's unbelievable.
15:24He doesn't get it.
15:24Unbelievable.
15:25All these dogs.
15:26Matilda, your daughter,
15:27her and Red still getting along?
15:29It's very funny.
15:30So we have four dogs at home,
15:32and Matilda loves dogs,
15:34but she,
15:34remember when she was little,
15:35I think I told you
15:36that she didn't realize
15:37that Red was so mean,
15:38but since he had no teeth,
15:39we didn't really care.
15:40Right.
15:40Because he would go after her,
15:42but it was like a duck.
15:43Yeah, yeah.
15:44Like, he was like,
15:44there's nothing really happening, right?
15:46So she'd go after her,
15:47and he'd kind of bite her,
15:48and she'd think it was so funny,
15:50and I realized,
15:50oh, my God,
15:50maybe we should be telling her,
15:52like, to be more careful.
15:53So now that she's almost three,
15:54and she understands
15:55all the dog's personality,
15:56she knows that Red is very mean,
15:59and when anyone comes in the house,
16:00she says,
16:02Oh, that's great.
16:04Yeah.
16:04She warns people,
16:06and then he's very, very mad.
16:08Yeah.
16:09You shot this wonderful show in France.
16:12You did not bring your daughter, Matilda,
16:13but you did bring one of your four dogs.
16:14Because, you know,
16:15I had to choose, dog, Matilda.
16:17Yeah.
16:17I brought one of the dogs.
16:18Yeah.
16:19I thought you had to choose
16:19between one of your four dogs.
16:21No, I had to choose
16:22between the dog and the kid.
16:23And you sat Matilda down,
16:24and you're like,
16:24here's why mommy's taking the dog.
16:26Yes.
16:28She's my, yeah,
16:28the emotional blanket, that dog.
16:30So you brought Opal.
16:31I brought Opal,
16:31my little teeny, nice chihuahua,
16:33my friendlier chihuahua.
16:34Yeah.
16:35And then when you came home,
16:37was Matilda happy to see you?
16:38You were gone for a while.
16:39I was gone for almost two months.
16:40Yeah.
16:41And it was a long backstory,
16:42but we decided not to bring her.
16:44We're so far away.
16:45Of course.
16:45It makes sense.
16:46She doesn't know she's in France.
16:47No.
16:47What does Matilda care?
16:48Yeah.
16:48So anyway,
16:49I called home, obviously,
16:51constantly, multiple times a day.
16:53Matilda never had time for me.
16:55Yeah.
16:55She was always in a class.
16:56She was on a play date.
16:58She was napping.
16:59She was, like,
17:00it must be nice.
17:01Oh.
17:01She's having lunch.
17:03It's like the life this child leads.
17:05So anyway,
17:05I missed her so much,
17:06but I had taken Opal, too,
17:07and Matilda loves the dog.
17:08So when I got home from this trip
17:11and I was so excited to see Matilda,
17:13I run in,
17:13and Tom's, like,
17:14recording this, like, video,
17:15and I'm hugging,
17:16I'm hugging Matilda,
17:17and all she's doing is asking,
17:18where was Opal?
17:20Yeah.
17:21That's all she cared about.
17:22You brought the video,
17:23and I will say,
17:23like,
17:24she does some dutiful doddering.
17:26She tried.
17:26But she cannot hide
17:28how little she cares about you.
17:30Let's take a look.
17:32Wait, let me see you.
17:33Let me see how tall you got.
17:35Can I see?
17:36Oh, my goodness.
17:39Opal.
17:39Yeah, I know.
17:40You want to see Opal?
17:41Can Mommy have a big kiss?
17:43Good girl.
17:44I miss you so much.
17:46You want to get Opal?
17:47You can look.
17:49She's like,
17:50where's the dog?
17:51Yeah, I know.
17:52And also,
17:53based on the video,
17:54it's like you left Opal in the car
17:55because you knew how it was going to go.
17:58You told Opal,
17:59it's like,
17:59maybe we, like, stagger it.
18:00I have to tell you,
18:01I might have actually done that.
18:02Yeah, it was a good call.
18:03Because I wasn't going to even get that kiss.
18:05Yeah.
18:05She did give him,
18:06she placated.
18:06It was nice.
18:07She did.
18:07It was a placating kiss.
18:08Where's Opal?
18:09You, um,
18:10this show's Great Vanished.
18:11You shot it.
18:11You shot it in France.
18:12Yes.
18:13Um, this is,
18:14I feel like you are thriving
18:16in this sort of,
18:16like, new genre of shows
18:17of, like,
18:18something weird has happened
18:20to you.
18:21It's the type of TV
18:22I like watching.
18:23It's great.
18:23Who did it?
18:24Where's the person?
18:25Is he good?
18:25It's a lot of,
18:25where's the person?
18:26What happened?
18:27Yes, a lot of big eyes.
18:28Why is there blood?
18:29Yes, where,
18:29yes, mysterious.
18:30Fantastic.
18:31I'm a big fan of it.
18:32Love true crime.
18:32And, uh,
18:33you have to do
18:34a bit of running
18:34in this show.
18:35I,
18:36all I did was run.
18:37Yeah, there's a lot of,
18:38and have you done?
18:39The best shape I've ever been in.
18:40Is it the most on-screen running
18:41you've ever done?
18:42It was a lot of running.
18:43It was the most on-screen running
18:44I've done
18:44as an almost 40-year-old.
18:46Yeah.
18:46I was like,
18:46this is not what I can do anymore.
18:47It's too late.
18:48I should have done it
18:48early in my career.
18:49Exactly.
18:50I should have done it at 38.
18:51You want roles now
18:52where you're like,
18:53who, why is that person running?
18:54You want to notice it.
18:55Yeah.
18:55I want to shoot everything
18:56from right here.
18:57Yeah, yeah, yeah.
18:57Yeah, I don't want to move anymore.
18:59You want to be one of those detectives
19:00who's like,
19:00the chair detective.
19:01Yes.
19:02I don't want to do anything.
19:03Why should I?
19:04But running,
19:04they make you run a lot.
19:06We ran a lot.
19:07I ran all over that town.
19:08It was awesome.
19:09I had a double.
19:10So we both were doing
19:11a lot of running.
19:12But it's weird.
19:13You know,
19:13I don't know if you're like this.
19:14I don't know if you know
19:16who's coming on your show.
19:17But when I'm shooting something,
19:19I have absolutely no idea
19:21what I'm shooting.
19:21Like, I learned my dialogue
19:22in the makeup chair.
19:23Got it.
19:24I'm like,
19:24oh, we're on this location.
19:26Like, you're all,
19:26you know, we kind of,
19:27we're very,
19:27you get dropped off
19:28and they're like,
19:29you're in a new location.
19:30You wake up out of the car
19:31and you're shooting.
19:31Like, I never knew
19:32what we were doing.
19:33Yeah.
19:34People are going to be
19:35so excited to hear
19:35about this level of prep.
19:40I didn't even know
19:41it was going to be
19:41on your show.
19:42There's some.
19:43I've noticed,
19:44because sometimes
19:44you have this small tell,
19:46which is in some of your shows,
19:47you go like,
19:48really?
19:49At the end of every line.
19:51It's like you're finding out
19:52in real time.
19:53You're like, oh.
19:54Because that's me looking
19:54for the dialogue
19:55I've written on the walls.
19:58Yeah.
19:58So you don't know.
19:59I never know
20:00what we're shooting.
20:01So this show is,
20:02kind of takes place
20:03a lot on a train.
20:04Yeah.
20:05You know,
20:05this guy vanishes
20:06off this moving train.
20:07I don't know why
20:08I didn't think
20:09we'd ever shoot on a train.
20:10I didn't possess,
20:11it didn't.
20:11Because there's a lot
20:12of train in the first episode.
20:14I found that out.
20:15Yeah.
20:15Once we got to the train.
20:17It's like mostly train.
20:19It's literally about
20:20someone vanishing
20:21off a train.
20:22Yeah.
20:22Well, we get
20:23to the train station
20:24in France,
20:25and I'm like,
20:26am I going home today?
20:27Like, why am I here?
20:29So they're like,
20:29oh, it's, you know,
20:30this thing.
20:30They give me all this stuff.
20:31I'm like,
20:31I have so much,
20:32these scenes,
20:33like, we're shooting
20:34on the train.
20:34And I was like,
20:35no way!
20:36We're shooting on the train.
20:37They're like,
20:38we have days on this train.
20:40So, again,
20:41not thinking,
20:41I'm like, oh, cool.
20:42You know,
20:43as unprepared as I am,
20:44I'm very easy.
20:44I go with the clothes.
20:45It's fine.
20:46Great.
20:46I get on this train,
20:48and I am,
20:48I don't know about you,
20:49but the older I've gotten,
20:50the more claustrophobic I am.
20:51Like, this is almost too low.
20:53Yeah.
20:54So I get on this train,
20:56and I'm like,
20:59it was like so low.
21:01Like, it was for tiny people.
21:02I don't understand
21:03where,
21:04what was happening.
21:04But, like, also,
21:05I bet it wasn't.
21:06It felt so small.
21:07I bet they were using
21:08a regular-style train.
21:09A regular train in France?
21:11You mean the speeding bullet?
21:12Kelly,
21:12for a discount,
21:13we got a tiny train.
21:16If only.
21:17So we're shot on this train
21:18all day,
21:19and I was so claustrophobic,
21:21and I'm running up
21:22and down this train.
21:22I was, like,
21:23literally throwing that.
21:23It doesn't help the character,
21:24because you are playing somebody
21:25who's, like,
21:25lost someone on a train,
21:26so, like,
21:27the vibe of you
21:27feeling claustrophobic,
21:28it was good.
21:30It wasn't acting at all.
21:31I was sick the entire time.
21:32I was claustrophobic.
21:34I was nauseous.
21:35Someone gave me a beer.
21:36I ended up being drunk, too.
21:37Like, it was, like,
21:38so many things.
21:39We got through it,
21:40but I think it did help.
21:41It helped the scene.
21:42It's great.
21:42By the way,
21:43I'm loving this so much,
21:44because I feel like
21:44a lot of time,
21:45actors will come on here
21:46and just, like,
21:47lie about how much prep they do,
21:48and it's so nice
21:49to have somebody
21:50who is in something
21:51I think is great,
21:52and you're like,
21:52I don't prepare.
21:54It wasn't acting,
21:55and I was a little bit drunk.
21:57And I did.
21:59And it all works out.
22:01You got what it takes.
22:03I have more questions for you.
22:04Stick around.
22:05This is Kaley Cuoco, everybody.
22:20Welcome back.
22:20We're here with Kaley Cuoco.
22:22So, you play your character.
22:25Is named Alice Munro in the show.
22:27Okay.
22:27Thank you for reminding me.
22:28We did some research,
22:29and it turns out
22:30you've only ever played
22:31a character with the same
22:32first name once,
22:33two Amandas,
22:34but we thought we'd play a game
22:35where I'd ask you
22:35first and last name of characters,
22:37and you'd tell me
22:38what role it was,
22:39and this is before
22:40we did the first half
22:41of our interview,
22:41where I realized, like,
22:42This is the worst game for me.
22:44You know nothing
22:44about the shows you've been in.
22:46So now it's like,
22:48I mean, I'm certain
22:49you won't get anything right.
22:50No, no, not at all.
22:51Like, I don't,
22:51no, this is terrible.
22:53And even worse,
22:54we thought to make it hard,
22:55all these names are from projects
22:57you did 10 years ago or more.
22:59Oh, please.
22:59Oh.
23:00When the question should have been,
23:02did you,
23:03did your career start
23:04more than 10 years ago?
23:05Would you have known that answer?
23:06It had to have.
23:07Yeah.
23:11Charlotte Stillwater.
23:14You made that up.
23:15That's not real.
23:16That was in Mr. Murder.
23:20Do you even know what that was?
23:21I was like 10 years old in that.
23:23Yeah, I said more than 10 years ago.
23:24What if I actually remembered that?
23:26That's crazy.
23:27I think, by the way.
23:28That's the crazy thing.
23:29Some people would.
23:30That's crazy.
23:30I bet if Dakota Fanning
23:31comes out here,
23:32I bet you could do all of them.
23:33No, you're probably right.
23:34Little genius.
23:35All right.
23:37Marilee Rogers.
23:38I mean, you're making,
23:40no.
23:41Marilee.
23:41Pass.
23:42Marilee.
23:42Pass.
23:43All right, here,
23:43I'm going to give you a hint.
23:44Marilee, it's time.
23:45Have you, have you,
23:46have you learned your lines
23:47for the speech debate?
23:50Oh, it must,
23:53debating, a debating movie.
23:54I did one debating project.
23:57Yeah.
23:58So that's easy.
23:59Because I said,
23:59you don't remember the title of the,
24:01so not only.
24:02It's no offense to anyone
24:03that made these things,
24:04but this is just who I am.
24:05Oh, no,
24:05I'm sure they're not
24:06taking offense.
24:09Debating Rob.
24:10For Lee.
24:10Robert Lee.
24:11Nice work.
24:12Elena Potato.
24:14What?
24:15This can't be real.
24:17This can't be.
24:18That has to be animated.
24:19It was animated.
24:20It was?
24:20Yeah.
24:23The initials,
24:24it's two words,
24:25the initials are M-A.
24:27I don't know.
24:28Mon.
24:30Tana?
24:33Now I'm just making things up.
24:35This is what it's like
24:37to work with me.
24:38Monster.
24:39Ink.
24:40Allergy.
24:41Monsters, Inc.?
24:42No, Monster Allergy
24:43was the name of a show.
24:45Okay.
24:46This is insane.
24:47This can't be real.
24:48You know what year it was on?
24:502005 to 2008.
24:53Three years?
24:54Of your life.
24:54Wow.
24:56Look at her go.
24:59Good for her.
25:00I like you're retroactively so proud
25:02of Elena Potato.
25:03I'm really proud of that.
25:03And now I don't even know.
25:04We're going to make it harder.
25:05We're going to go from full names
25:06to two names.
25:07Please don't make me do a last name.
25:08Sasha.
25:10What?
25:12Sasha?
25:13I'll give you a name.
25:13Sasha, Brooke, Miranda.
25:16You do any?
25:17That's a long name.
25:18No, those are three different roles.
25:20Oh.
25:23Wait, I played three people?
25:26Yeah, I'm just...
25:27Oh, you're just throwing
25:28as many out at a time.
25:28I'm just doing anything I can.
25:30Like, we got this...
25:31Pass, pass, pass.
25:32Next?
25:33Prison Break, Crimes of Fashion,
25:35and Northern Exposure.
25:36I mean, please.
25:38And then we just had...
25:39How about this?
25:41Uncredited...
25:44Woman in the store.
25:45Oh.
25:46Do you remember being in a store
25:48uncredited?
25:49No, what's the project?
25:50I'm learning so much about myself.
25:53A million...
25:56ways?
25:57To die in the West.
25:58Look at you.
25:59She did it.
26:00That scene got cut.
26:01That scene got cut.
26:02That scene got...
26:02That scene got cut.
26:04That was really amazing.
26:05Wow.
26:06That was very telling, wasn't it?
26:07For Kaley Cuoco's superfan.
26:11If you played along at home,
26:12you won.
26:15Kaley Cuoco, everyone.
26:16The first episode again is
26:18singing out in the Unblessed
26:19with the next three episodes
26:20of Green Weekly on Sunday.
26:21Stick around.
26:22Be right back with James Acaster.
26:23No way!
26:24No way!
26:33Our next guests and very funny
26:34comedian tickets to his North American tour
26:37are available now.
26:38Please welcome back to the show
26:39one of our favorites,
26:40James Acaster, everybody.
26:58Thank you for repping with the merch.
27:01Coinc...
27:01It's pure coincidence.
27:05I also forgot I was doing this today.
27:10I was just walking through the streets
27:12of New York, New York City.
27:15And someone just ran out and went,
27:17you're due on in five.
27:21I was like, due on what?
27:23What are you talking about?
27:25And when you're doing Seth Meyers today,
27:27and I was like, well, this is going to be awkward.
27:29I'm dressed in my Seth Meyers garth.
27:33He's going to think this is like
27:34some sort of kiss-ass thing.
27:36And they were like, honestly,
27:38his ego's so big, he'll love it.
27:41So they just got...
27:42So you'll walk about on a city street
27:44with a mug from home?
27:47Yeah, you never know
27:48when you're going to need a mug, Seth.
27:51In this life, you're walking around,
27:53and what if someone starts to propose a toast?
27:59And I'm like, I can't get in on this
28:02and show my support for what they're toasting.
28:05Street toasts.
28:06New York is known for their street toast.
28:08Got to get it up there.
28:10You know what I like to do as a prank?
28:12Sometimes in a bar,
28:13a friend will be going in the bathroom,
28:14they say, can you hold my drink?
28:16And while they're gone,
28:17I'll propose a toast with their drink.
28:19And then when they get back,
28:21they don't know what they just drank to.
28:23Oh, right, because they say, let's drink to,
28:25and then they have a drink and they never know.
28:27No, they're in the bathroom,
28:28and I say, let's drink to fascists.
28:31And then I put the drink there,
28:32and then they come back,
28:33and they're like, ah.
28:36That's a good...
28:38I'll say to them, hey, remember what...
28:39Earlier on, this guy.
28:41This guy's a massive fascist right here.
28:42I love having you in New York,
28:44but I also, I was in your home.
28:46I was in London.
28:47Wax Trax, Denver, Colorado,
28:488th of February.
28:49What?
28:50Half one.
28:511.30.
28:521.30.
28:53Wax Trax record store.
28:55I'm doing a Q&A.
28:57Wait.
28:58Sorry?
29:00I'm doing a Q&A at Wax Trax
29:02in Denver, Colorado,
29:04and because I don't have social media,
29:05they're very worried that people aren't going to show.
29:07Okay.
29:081.30, 8th of February.
29:10It's a Q&A.
29:12I promise, today, I'm only going to answer,
29:15like, half answer all the Seth's questions.
29:16If you want to know the full answers,
29:19you've got to come to Wax Trax.
29:21Put your hand up
29:22and ask the same question that Seth did,
29:24and I promise I'll give you the complete answer.
29:261.30, Colorado, Denver,
29:29Wax Trax records.
29:31Record store.
29:31It's a record store.
29:321.30 in the afternoon on February 8th.
29:35That is all I do when I come to America.
29:37I do late night with you,
29:38and I do Wax Trax at 1.30 in the afternoon
29:41in Denver, Colorado.
29:42But, see, it feels like, you know,
29:44it's a vicious circle, really,
29:45because if you had social media,
29:47you wouldn't have to use your time on my show
29:49to promote the only other thing you're doing.
29:52It's annoying,
29:53and that's why I forgot about I was even on here,
29:56because I'm walking around just thinking about Wax Trax.
30:00And then someone comes up and goes,
30:01remember, you've got to go on Seth Meyers
30:02to promote Wax Trax.
30:03Yeah.
30:04Like, oh, man, I forgot about it.
30:05Well, just plan ahead
30:06so you're not wearing your Wax Trax stuff at half one.
30:09Well, that will,
30:10because I do have a Wax Trax onesie.
30:14And if I get caught with that,
30:15I'll be very, very embarrassing at Wax Trax.
30:17I was, uh...
30:181.30 on the 8th of February.
30:21I thought, you know,
30:22we were at a place where maybe we'd get to hang out in London.
30:25I was in London.
30:25I have your phone number,
30:26and I reached out,
30:27and I said, hey, you want to get a drink?
30:28And, um...
30:29You didn't.
30:32What's this in front of everybody?
30:33You kept on texting me going,
30:36Limeys go home.
30:36Too many Limeys.
30:38You kept saying,
30:39there's too many Limeys here.
30:41You know, Limeys are absolutely getting on my nerves.
30:44Limeys go home.
30:45And I had to text back and say,
30:47Seth, this is where we live.
30:48This is our country.
30:49And you text back,
30:51I'm American.
30:54Seth, and then I tried to meet up with you,
30:56and you were like,
30:57yeah, you want to meet up with me?
30:58I'm where all Americans are in London,
31:00in the queue for Deshoom.
31:02LAUGHTER
31:06And then I had to go to Deshoom to find you,
31:08and you were texting me going,
31:09oh, I'm in the queue for Deshoom.
31:11I really want some Black Dahl.
31:14I'm jonesing for the Black Dahl.
31:16And then you would send me a selfie from the queue,
31:18and it was just Americans.
31:19It was like,
31:20you,
31:21Zack Morris,
31:23Chuck E. Cheese,
31:24and the Zodiac Killer.
31:26LAUGHTER
31:27All queuing for Deshoom.
31:30Kaley Cuoco was there.
31:31Yeah.
31:33Young Sheldon and Old Sheldon.
31:35Both Sheldons.
31:36Very rarely do you see Young Sheldon
31:38and Old Sheldon together.
31:40Yeah.
31:40And by Old Sheldon,
31:41I don't mean Jim Parsons.
31:43I mean the Old Sheldon
31:44from the forthcoming series Old Sheldon,
31:47which is a really, really old version of Sheldon,
31:50and he's in a nursing home.
31:51He's got Alzheimer's,
31:52and he can't remember his life.
31:55Yeah.
31:55And they have to show him episodes of Young Sheldon
31:57so that he knows what he even did.
32:01LAUGHTER
32:01And the laugh track throws him.
32:03He's like,
32:03why are people laughing at me?
32:05Do I live in a country
32:06where intelligence is seen as humorous?
32:09And something to be mocked?
32:10And they're like,
32:11yeah, yeah,
32:11you live in a country
32:12where it's funny
32:13if people are clever or a nerd
32:15and we only respect ignorant bullies.
32:18LAUGHTER
32:18Yeah, well...
32:19Hey, if you want to hear the end of that,
32:21come to Wax Trax,
32:22Demi Colovato.
32:24One Friday.
32:27Do you want to...
32:28That would be the eighth.
32:29We're happy...
32:29If Wax Trax wants to play
32:31the first half of your answer
32:33at the Q&A,
32:34and then you can just tag on the end.
32:36Happily.
32:37I will happily do that,
32:38Wax Trax,
32:38if you're watching.
32:39I hope they are watching.
32:40I should have promoted this at Wax Trax
32:43so that the Wax Trax people
32:44would watch this.
32:45Because, actually,
32:46this is severely underpromoted,
32:48my appearance on this.
32:49Oh, I think people are...
32:50I think people knew
32:51you were coming here.
32:52By the way,
32:52I did a talk show in London.
32:54I was on Graham Norton's show.
32:56You were.
32:57Yeah.
32:58It was a big deal for me.
33:01You did all the big...
33:02You did all the big talk shows
33:04in the UK.
33:05You did, like,
33:06the Yorkshire Pudding.
33:07You did, uh...
33:09Pudding...
33:09Late Night Pudding Boys,
33:10Late Night with the Pudding Boys.
33:13Yeah, Pudding Chat.
33:14You did all of them.
33:15Yeah.
33:16I realized I didn't have enough
33:18to say about Pudding
33:19based on how many of them I did.
33:20You had a few things to say, buddy.
33:23You should go online
33:24and see what he said on those shows.
33:27Very controversial.
33:28I don't think it was that controversial.
33:30He had a leather jacket on
33:32and he put the collars up
33:33on the leather jacket
33:34and you kept on saying
33:36this one's for the Swifties
33:37and then passing wind.
33:38And...
33:41And...
33:42You said the Earth was...
33:44You said the Earth was fat?
33:46Flat.
33:47No, you said fat.
33:48You...
33:48You're a...
33:49You're a fat Earther.
33:51You actually believe
33:52it's more spherical than it is.
33:55You're like,
33:55it's so big...
33:56There's actually more countries
33:58than we know about
33:58and they're all named stuff
34:00that sounds kind of like
34:01countries we know.
34:03And there's only one world leader
34:04who dares pronounce them right
34:05in public.
34:07Donald Trump.
34:08And...
34:12Oh...
34:12Are you worried?
34:13Are you worried about
34:14being a foreigner in this country
34:15in the current political climate?
34:17No way, man.
34:19All I've been doing
34:20since I've been here,
34:21I'm trying to rig your elections
34:23in the other way.
34:25Oh, you are doing
34:26what he's most worried about.
34:27You're rigging elections.
34:28Yeah, big time.
34:29I'm here.
34:30I'm rigging elections everywhere.
34:31I'm putting up fake,
34:33like, voting booths.
34:35That say, like,
34:36Trump votes only on them.
34:38And when people go in,
34:39the door's shut.
34:40It's an escape room.
34:41Oh.
34:44And in order to get out,
34:45they've got to solve
34:46this massive word puzzle
34:47where they've got to put, like,
34:48thousands of words
34:49in the right order
34:49and then read it out loud
34:50and then they realize
34:51that it's the, like,
34:53unredacted Epstein files.
34:55Oh.
34:57That's good.
34:58It's a really good trick.
35:02You have a podcast.
35:05called Off Menu.
35:06It's about food.
35:07Yeah.
35:07And you had the Robert De Niro
35:10on your podcast.
35:11We had Bob De Niro on.
35:13My friend now.
35:15Are you friendly?
35:16Did you get a meal
35:16with him afterwards?
35:17All we do is eat meals.
35:19Yeah.
35:20We constantly go.
35:21We always enter through
35:21the kitchen in a one-er.
35:24We, uh...
35:24Oh, so even when you go
35:25to a regular restaurant,
35:27it's a one-er back...
35:28Yeah, we went to Jack in the Box.
35:29You know Jack in the Box?
35:29Yeah, yeah, yeah.
35:31Just a one-er.
35:32Very short.
35:33That's what's quite
35:34an abrupt one-er.
35:35It's a small kitchen
35:36and then you sit down
35:37and you chat to Bob.
35:42You know that he only
35:43speaks in De Niro quotes?
35:46That's not true.
35:47That is true.
35:48And here's the thing.
35:49A lot of people don't know.
35:49He doesn't watch
35:49any of his films,
35:50so he gets the quotes
35:51wrong a lot.
35:52Oh, that's awful.
35:53He says,
35:54I'm the taxi driver, baby!
35:56Yeah, that's not...
35:57I've seen that movie
35:58a bunch of times.
35:59That's definitely not...
35:59Bob, that's not
36:00one of your films.
36:01Yeah.
36:01He said to me the other day,
36:03he said,
36:03you know what my favorite
36:04film of mine is?
36:05It's Meet the...
36:07I was like,
36:08Bob,
36:09with all due respect,
36:11it's called Meet the Fockers.
36:12Yeah.
36:14He looked at me and said,
36:15I think I would know
36:17if I was in a film
36:18that doesn't even make any sense.
36:21It's funny.
36:24Fuckers are not a word.
36:27I was like,
36:27Bob, that's why it's funny.
36:29It's like it nearly is
36:31if it's not.
36:33That's why everyone
36:34found that so funny
36:34when he was called fucker.
36:37He said,
36:37funny how?
36:39Funny...
36:39I said,
36:40that's not you,
36:40that's Pesci.
36:41Yeah, yeah, yeah.
36:45And he said,
36:46I'm out of here.
36:48And then he went to leave
36:49and he opened the door
36:49and it blow-torched his head.
36:53So he got Pesci'd again.
36:55He got double Pesci'd.
36:57And then when his hair
36:57was on fire,
36:58he went,
36:59schmokin'.
36:59Oh.
37:01I'm on a stomach.
37:02And I was like,
37:05Bob, you weren't in the...
37:05He's like,
37:06I was in the...
37:06I said,
37:07I won an Oscar for the mask.
37:09He's adamant about this.
37:10Test it all the time.
37:12He said,
37:12I won an Oscar for the mask
37:13and a Crick's Choice.
37:16He said,
37:17I would have won the Golden Globe,
37:18but Denzel won it
37:18for playing Steve the Pirate
37:21in Dodgeball.
37:24Man, don't meet your heroes, right?
37:26Well, don't meet your heroes, sure,
37:27but Bob De Niro is still my hero
37:29and so is the mask.
37:34Hey, I did a live taskmaster
37:37in New York City.
37:38You did a whole series.
37:40I did.
37:41And they actually,
37:42it turned out,
37:43this was amazing.
37:44Me and John Oliver,
37:45it was three people
37:45who were just fans in the crowd.
37:47They asked you to do it.
37:48Yeah.
37:49Here in the States.
37:50I couldn't do it.
37:51I didn't want to do it.
37:52I didn't want to try.
37:52But, like, you did great,
37:54by the way.
37:55You didn't see it.
37:56No, I heard all about it.
37:57I did go and see it.
37:59I was in the audience.
37:59I watched it.
38:00And, like, they went...
38:01I did.
38:02I saw it.
38:02It was really hardcore.
38:04The tasks that they did
38:05on the live one
38:05are way hardcore.
38:07Make a dog...
38:19Fastest wins.
38:20It was amazing, Seth.
38:25And your approach to that
38:26was really novel.
38:29And I like it.
38:30I like it on that show
38:32where people, like...
38:33Pardon the pun,
38:34when they, like,
38:34think outside the box
38:35and they have different
38:36approaches to the tasks.
38:37And, like...
38:38Who was there?
38:39Who saw it?
38:40Some people...
38:41Who didn't see it?
38:44Can I tell them
38:45how you did it?
38:46Because it was amazing.
38:47He jacked off the dog.
38:55It was so good, Seth.
38:57And...
38:58And you deserve to win.
39:00Yeah.
39:01Only reason you didn't win
39:02was because the person...
39:03Something from the audience won
39:04and who was,
39:05in their defense,
39:06in your defense,
39:07a dog.
39:08They were a dog.
39:10And dogs know
39:11just how they like it.
39:12So...
39:13That's not...
39:14That's not on you.
39:15You did well on that one.
39:16Thank you, buddy.
39:17And it's just so nice
39:18to have you here.
39:21Who would think
39:21that that would be the answer
39:22that saved the interview?
39:25The rest of it,
39:26I felt like I was on a tightrope.
39:28And then,
39:28as soon as I said,
39:29you made a dog,
39:31we were on Easy Street.
39:35That shouldn't have been
39:35what turned it around.
39:36But here we are.
39:37We're living in...
39:38We're living in crazy times.
39:39We're living in these crazy times,
39:41Seth.
39:42And if there's one thing I know,
39:44it's at the place to be
39:46is Wax Treks,
39:48Denver, Colorado,
39:49February the 8th.
39:51James, thank you for everybody.
39:53Tickets to enjoy
39:53the American tour
39:54are available now.
40:07Come join the audience
40:08at Late Night
40:09live in Studio 8G.
40:10For tickets,
40:11head over to
40:11LateNightSethTickets.com.
40:13Follow us at Late Night Seth
40:15on all social media platforms.
40:17Subscribe to Late Night Seth
40:18on YouTube.
40:19Find us online
40:20at LateNightSeth.com.
40:22And subscribe to
40:23the Late Night Podcast,
40:24featuring a closer look,
40:25guest interviews,
40:26and more.
40:27Available wherever you
40:28listen to podcasts.
40:36I want to thank my guest,
40:38Kaley Cuomo,
40:39James Haykowski.
40:40Thanks for watching,
40:41everybody.
40:41We love you.
40:45We love you.
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