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00:05What have I missed?
00:06Ampika and Daves have a sex life with a Dice
00:09and they roll it for Karmus Eve children.
00:11Wait, just give me a second to actually arrive and breathe.
00:14Previously on The Real Hells Wives of Cheshire.
00:17The Dice has obviously multiple faces.
00:19Yeah.
00:20So it'll be a different sexual position.
00:22David is a bit outdated, doesn't know what the positions are,
00:25so I have to show him.
00:26I'm not f***ing leaving, I'm going to stay here.
00:28If she's going to be so f***ing stubborn to me,
00:30I haven't said anything wrong and be like,
00:32you f***ing, because I'm not wanted here.
00:34I didn't say you f***ing leave, I didn't say that.
00:36I didn't.
00:39Oh, are you?
00:40Are you okay?
00:41Oh my God, she was murdered.
00:43Oh my God, oh my God.
00:45I called you to meet up, I called you to go out,
00:48but you cancelled every time.
00:50Literally every year we say about two things.
00:54Sorry while I scroll through all our messages together.
00:56I'm not surface level.
00:58No, I'm going home.
00:59Listen, I know, I get it.
01:00How can she say?
01:01Calm down, calm down.
01:05I'm a queen bee, and I've got a sting in my tail.
01:12Cheshire's in my blood, but don't make it boil.
01:17I'll pray for peace, but I'm ready for war.
01:24I might be younger, but I wasn't born yesterday.
01:29I don't have time for gossip.
01:31I'm too busy building an empire.
01:34Cheshire's my playground, and I'll give you the ride of your life.
01:39I'm back for a long time in my tail.
01:46Hey...
01:48Everything, everything, everything is so good.
01:53Yeah...
01:53Because every day, everything you make it I make.
01:57So Rach, you are very country-fied.
02:00Oh yeah, totally.
02:00I'm loving that look. I'm actually gutted because I've got the same heart and I've not brought it.
02:09Hello ladies!
02:11She's country too! I don't travel light, do I? I travel expensive.
02:17The whole point of this retreat is to bring us all together. No more divide, no more upset,
02:23no more tears, no more sadness. Just bring everyone together and feel the love.
02:27Someone else is joining us. Namina!
02:32See I don't travel that light you know. I'm really happy for Namina to be on our trip. I am
02:38welcoming to all.
02:40It's just that everybody needs to remember to mind their own business.
02:45So are we all excited ladies? This is a transform each and every one of your lives.
02:58Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, we just can't get enough.
03:02Could you imagine Lauren as a bus driver? Eh, love her? No. To be fair, I actually could, you know.
03:07I could see it.
03:08You're so rude to everyone. Sorry, I'm not stopping. Sorry. Bye. I've got somewhere to go.
03:13I'm bored now. I've got lots of activities, so I hope you ladies are not bored.
03:18Ah! Yeah, you're morphing into me. Yes.
03:20We're morphing into each other, but I'm not as competitive as you, Rachel.
03:24I am so not competitive, and I hate games, and I hate being told what to do.
03:29But it's fun. But it's bonding. It gets us all together as a group.
03:32This is a sisterhood now, the sisterhood. I'm actually really excited.
03:36We're having so much fun on the bus. I'm so excited for this trip,
03:39and it's so lovely for my big cats to invite me.
03:42Oh, we're almost here, ladies.
03:48Oh, it's so nice.
03:52From home to home, ladies. Lovely.
04:00Let's go. Woo!
04:02We're here.
04:04In the Derbyshire Hills. Smell the fresh air, ladies.
04:12Oh, no!
04:14Nani! Are you all right?
04:17I did not do that, everyone. I didn't touch her.
04:21I was so busy looking over that.
04:24I've got my knee brace with me if you need it.
04:26Who the hell brings a knee brace on a holiday?
04:29Like, am I with a bunch of OAPs? Like, who am I with?
04:33Let's get in, ladies. Let's get a glass of champagne.
04:35That's the way to make an arrival.
04:41And Pika.
04:43I know.
04:43This is zen.
04:45Wow.
04:46This is tranquil.
04:47Oh, this is gorgeous.
04:52Can you feel the love naked?
04:54Can you feel the love?
04:55Oh, I love Pika.
04:56You've done good.
04:58Yes.
04:58You could be stark bought naked all day long because you've got no one who's going to overlook.
05:03Literally, could you imagine coming down there?
05:05It's absolutely stunning.
05:06Wow.
05:10I am so excited to be having such good vibes in the house with all the girls.
05:14But one thing is really getting on my tits. I've heard nothing from Seema. And quite frankly,
05:19I think that's freaking rude.
05:21I just think it's very bizarre that I haven't had an RSVP to say that, unfortunately, I can't make it.
05:28I think that worries me a little bit because it's not really like Seema.
05:30Maybe we should sing how she goes throughout the morning.
05:33I hope there's no bad feeling or anything because I've put all this on because I want us
05:37to all have a bit of bonding time. So unless she's like in a hospital bed,
05:40I think she would have texted me.
05:41Why don't we wait and see what comes out? Because to be perfectly honest,
05:45I think she's actually lucky she didn't go on that party book.
05:50This is the crown jewel of all the jewels. So we're together, Lauren.
05:55We're going across the corridor from each other. I'm loving all these details.
06:05Very nice. Sampika. This is Lauren's room then.
06:09No, this is Sampika's room. This is Sampika's room.
06:11Yeah, it's gorgeous. Beautiful.
06:13Does that say pheasant or peasant?
06:15I'm not sure you've got a degree. I have got a degree.
06:18We're going to go up to the western wing. Namina's room now.
06:22Look. Oh, wow. Beautiful.
06:24I love it. You've got a full poster.
06:26Beautiful. Oh, wow.
06:28Nice big shower. Yeah.
06:30And a bath. You know, loving it.
06:32I've saved the best till last though.
06:34I just thought this is very quaint, very cosy.
06:37Oh, my favourite. I love a snuggly room.
06:41Cosy, snuggly, cosy.
06:43They're basically like twin rooms, aren't they?
06:45OK. Yes.
06:46Jack and Jill, Jack and Jill.
06:47If I've not got a shower though, because I really need a shower.
06:49Is she joking? Who is she trying to convince?
06:52I'm in the smallest room with no shower.
06:55Well done on your upselling skills, Sampika,
06:57but it's not working around me.
06:59Do it. So if we wanted to have a shower, where would we go?
07:01Right downstairs, there is a multi-use bathroom.
07:05All right, cool. OK.
07:06Thank you. OK, well, thank you.
07:08Well, it is lovely, isn't it?
07:09It's cute. It's very, very cute. I'm happy.
07:11I'm like that.
07:14Straight up, I get what I want.
07:16Do what I want and live how I want now.
07:18Straight up, I get what I want.
07:20I do what I want because I look good now.
07:25I'm f***ing naked.
07:26Straight up, I get what I want.
07:28I do what I want, I live straight up.
07:31Straight up.
07:32Oh, Tanya!
07:34Thank God.
07:35Oh, my God. You're only coming in for a night, you know.
07:37Oh!
07:37Why are you coming in for seeing a funny way?
07:40Where's the bloody butler?
07:41Well, that baggage is nowhere near as heavy as the baggage
07:44that I've been carrying all the way here.
07:46Wait till you find out what I've heard from Sema and Pika.
07:49I mean, I just don't think I can keep it to myself any longer.
07:52It's only one night, you know.
07:53That is a serious amount of clothes.
07:56Well, it's my make-up.
07:57It's my natural beauty in there, Aunt Pika, you know.
07:59I'm just thrilled that you're away from being footy mum
08:02and you can actually just relax.
08:04Oh, there's no relaxing for me, Aunt Pika.
08:06All the way here, I'm going, don't tell the girls, Tanya.
08:08Don't tell the girls, don't, don't, don't, don't do it.
08:11I'm just going to explode.
08:14I heard that Lauren's been saying that Nermeen is a gag.
08:19Have you? No.
08:20I don't know if Nermeen knows that or not.
08:22What is a gag?
08:23It's like a gegger, a gag.
08:25Gag? It sounds like...
08:28Like a...
08:29When I spit something out.
08:30Gag.
08:31I don't know what a gegger is.
08:32It's like a geg.
08:33There's no other words, it's like a geg.
08:35Like she's gegs on.
08:36What do you mean, like a busybody?
08:38It's not like you're not invited.
08:40It's just like, yeah...
08:41Tag her on. Tag her on.
08:43A geg.
08:43Like a clinger on her.
08:44Yeah, yes.
08:45Like a clinker.
08:46What's a clinker?
08:47You know, like that poo you can't get off your bum.
08:51Or will it?
08:51I don't know.
08:53I don't know.
08:54In my lucky underwear.
08:58In my lucky, my lucky underwear.
09:03Oh, bless you.
09:05You got your trousers down.
09:06I couldn't get them off.
09:07Fur coat, no knickers.
09:09Can I have it?
09:09Bright red knickers.
09:10Oh, gosh, it is actually swollen, isn't it?
09:12Nice.
09:12Do you think I'm going to make a fuss?
09:14Oh!
09:15Oh, no!
09:16I can't believe it.
09:17She's gone down like a sack of shit.
09:19I can't believe it.
09:20Are you OK?
09:21I'm OK.
09:23I didn't know what to say out there when they were saying about Seema and that she hadn't let.
09:27She would never, you know, let anyone down.
09:29She, like, she wears a heart on the sleeve and if there's anything she would say,
09:32well, listen, sorry, I can't make it today.
09:34She sent me a voice note as to what's wrong and I'll play at you so you can understand.
09:37No, I'm not good, hon. I've got really bad acute pain in the left side of my abdomen.
09:45I've had a CT scan. It's giving me, like, different things that it could be but, like,
09:50I'm not really looking into any of it. I just try to keep an open mind and I am in
09:55so much pain.
09:57I don't want them making it into a big thing because it seems they're jumping on her at the
10:00moment with things. The speech, the farewell speech wasn't quite to everyone's taste and now
10:05why should not anyone know? She sounds terrible.
10:07You never visit in a video, we'll see you through the radio. All the beauty's inside.
10:13I'll tell you what though, I never, I don't, I don't do baths.
10:16No, I don't do baths either. I'm a shower person.
10:18No, neither, I don't really do baths. So for me, I'm like,
10:19we're doing baths tonight. Well, we'll be having double bubble baths.
10:22So, obviously, at the 80s night, I spoke with Namina after the kind of conversation that you guys had.
10:28She felt a bit like, oh, why did Sheena tell me to whatever you said?
10:32She said, I think I should leave and I said, I think he should.
10:34Yeah, I'm going to leave this conversation because I just feel like,
10:37I can't say anything anyways. Yeah, I think you should, yeah.
10:39Sorry. I think you should leave.
10:41I'll decide if I'm myself. No, because I'm talking to Seema.
10:44You're constantly batting in and getting involved.
10:46I'm allowed to say, well, it's my opinion.
10:47No, it's my opinion. And nobody asked, so.
10:51And I think she took that probably with a bit of offence.
10:53And I said to her, no, no, it was meant in offence.
10:55So she took it in the right context.
10:57Yeah.
10:59How are things with Sheena? Because that was all a bit.
11:01Well, I felt like we didn't leave it, like, on a good note.
11:04No.
11:05And all when we left the other night.
11:06She was really, like, harsh to me, you know, in that conversation.
11:10And at one point, I was like, you know what, this is not going anywhere.
11:12I'm going to stand up.
11:13So I literally took my glass.
11:14I was like, you know what, ladies, I'm going to leave you to it.
11:17She turns around and says, yes, I think you should leave.
11:20I'm telling you something, I'm not being spoken to.
11:22So I just put my glass down and went to sit.
11:24And I was like, you know what, I'm not leaving anywhere.
11:26So I didn't like that tone.
11:28But saying that, you know, I came with fresh, good energy.
11:31I'm really excited to be with you girls here.
11:33So I feel like it was fine.
11:38Look, someone I barely know decided to give their opinion
11:42on something that had nothing to do with them.
11:45So did I snap? Absolutely.
11:48Was it justified? Absolutely.
11:52You've got a lot of chats going on these next couple of days.
11:55So you enjoy and we'll see you on the party just on the way home.
12:06We need to sit up straight, don't we?
12:07Legs crossed.
12:08I think there's so much more than what we think the basics.
12:11I would agree.
12:12I thought she was teaching us how to eat without, like...
12:14So my dad was in the army,
12:16and so we had to go to the big functions.
12:18And he always taught us BMW, which is bread, meal, wine.
12:22Not that we had wine because we were kids.
12:23Bread's always left. Bread's always left.
12:25Yeah.
12:26Spoon is always on the right.
12:28Oh, all right, girls.
12:29I can tell you were born with silver spoons in your mouth.
12:33Ladies, welcome.
12:34Hello.
12:35This is Laura.
12:36Hi.
12:36Good afternoon, ladies.
12:38All of us ladies need a bit of a polish up and a refinement on our manners.
12:43So I have searched the globe to find an international etiquette teacher
12:47to teach us the skills of etiquette.
12:50So any questions that anyone's got to ask Laura about rudeness, interrupting,
12:55interrupting in different styles and formats,
12:57eye-rolling, selfishness, what does it look like?
13:00It's a bit rich, Ampika arranging etiquette lessons.
13:03When she needs them more than anyone, she's got the biggest potty mouth.
13:08Free the nipple!
13:11I would now like you ladies to please take a seat.
13:15We've got a seat for Ampika.
13:18I think I've got to sit on.
13:20Right, ladies, I know quite a number of you were dragging the chairs and there was a lot of noise.
13:26Once you pull your chair out, you want to stand in front of your chair,
13:30bring your chair slightly forward and then sit down in one go.
13:41Obviously that's not right.
13:49This is very excellent posture.
13:52Your back is not touching the back of the chair.
13:55That's wonderful.
13:57Are we allowed to woo?
13:59Typically not.
14:00Typically not.
14:01We're not allowed to woo when we hear a pop.
14:07I like you because you're like me.
14:09When you're saying something horrible, you smile.
14:12So, who would like to tell me the first course we're going to eat?
14:17Tanya said it's B-R-W, B-M-W.
14:19The lady here, I was speaking and she was trying to answer my question.
14:24But it was my answer.
14:25Oh, it's not my answer.
14:27No.
14:27Did I interrupt you?
14:28You did.
14:28Oh, okay.
14:29You did, Paige.
14:30I apologise.
14:31Well, Paige is on her best behaviour, isn't she?
14:33Because she's never apologised for interrupting me before.
14:36Yes.
14:37So, I think in this group, we have a tendency of getting involved.
14:41She doesn't normally speak like that, by the way.
14:43I do.
14:45Why is she talking like this?
14:47What's wrong with her?
14:48Sweet properly, Paige.
14:50You're from Gloucester.
14:51Okay, I feel like in this group that we all get involved in conversations that
14:55are not necessarily we're meant to be a part of and it can then spiral and then the
14:59group becomes fractured.
15:01I'm saying you're asking in general.
15:02Yeah, in general.
15:03You're not pointing fingers, I hope.
15:05No, I'm asking in general.
15:07Okay, Amina, calm down.
15:10It wasn't meant to be personal.
15:12Looks like I've hit a nerve.
15:14Anything you don't want sharing, maybe don't repeat it.
15:18And if you know there's a situation with you and a person, deal with that person directly.
15:24Get a new set of friends.
15:30I enjoyed that though.
15:31Well, I just, I can't.
15:33I've just sat fidgeting.
15:34No, you're a fidget.
15:34Yes, I know.
15:35I should have worn my sunshine lanyard.
15:37Oh my God, how funny was it when Paige changed her accent?
15:40I know.
15:41I have put all our differences to one side.
15:43You don't like her.
15:44I am enjoying the banter that we're having.
15:47You know me, it takes me a long time to warm up to people.
15:50And then when I do, I'm silly, I...
15:51Hello, hello, hello.
15:53Hello.
15:54Wanted to come in for a little chin wag.
15:56You girls all right?
15:57Your ears burning, are they?
15:58They probably are.
15:59I know they always are.
16:02And then Paige just appears like creeping Jesus out.
16:07Do you guys know if Noreen knows that Lauren's been saying that Noreen is a gag?
16:15What? What's a gag?
16:16What's a gag?
16:17Yeah, I don't know what a gag is.
16:18What is a gag?
16:20G-E-G.
16:22Golf, echo, golf.
16:23Is gag even a word?
16:25I don't even know what it means.
16:28Lauren's been calling Noreen a gag.
16:29It's like she gags on.
16:31Wait, hang on.
16:31How do you know that Lauren thinks that Noreen is a gag?
16:35Seema told me.
16:36Why hasn't Seema told Noreen?
16:38Seema's not here.
16:39She's poorly.
16:40Seema told me that Lauren's been calling Noreen a gag.
16:42And I've been thinking at the table.
16:45It just clicked on my head because I thought, oh, Lauren.
16:47Is that what I'm talking about?
16:48No.
16:49Oh.
16:49This is a fucking movie.
16:50God, fuck.
16:52Seema talking to Ralph even, you two.
16:54Wait, so Seema said...
16:55Oh, my God.
16:56OK, let's get the facts straight.
16:57So Seema said that Lauren said that Noreen is a gag.
17:03Yes.
17:03And I can't remember if Noreen knows that Lauren's been called...
17:08So we don't know if Noreen knows that she's been called a gag.
17:10You're just making it far more fucking difficult.
17:12So do we know that Lauren's...
17:14Stop shouting because you're fucking well in a minute.
17:17Oh, my God.
17:19I thought these two went to private school.
17:21They need to get their money back.
17:23Absolute bird brains.
17:28It was so lovely to see Tanya today.
17:31I'm really happy she's here as well.
17:32Yeah.
17:33She said to me today, I said, how are, you know, how are all the girls getting on?
17:36And at the moment, I'm feeling everything's good.
17:38I feel that everyone's happy and everyone's excited.
17:40And she's like, well, Lauren thinks that Noreen is a gag.
17:44I was like, what?
17:44What's a gag?
17:45I don't know.
17:46A gag.
17:46I have no idea what gag means, but it does not sound like a compliment.
17:51So I'm not even sure what a gag is.
17:53I was like, gag?
17:54What is a gag?
17:56You know what?
17:56I'm lost here.
17:58Please, can you tell me what a gag is?
18:00Someone who goes to something they weren't actually invited to.
18:04Someone who butts into or who listens to a conversation.
18:08Someone who tags along.
18:10But you haven't tagged along.
18:11No, I got invited to, yeah.
18:12Lauren is pot calling the kettle black.
18:15She does it all the time.
18:16So, Lauren, if the cat fits yourself, wear it, sweetheart, and own it.
18:28Tonight, I've told the girls to put on their finest pyjamas,
18:32because we are having a slumber party.
18:34Peek-a-boo style.
18:35Fun, fun, fun.
18:42Who's ready for a pre-day party?
18:44Oh, look at you.
18:45We're just waiting for Lauren to get changed.
18:47I know.
18:47I was just thinking, Lauren, are you in your gym wear?
18:49What are you?
18:50I'm in lounge.
18:51I'm in the skims.
18:52Is that what you're sleeping?
18:53Do you know, I actually don't sleep in anything.
18:55I'm actually a naked sleeper.
18:57It's healthy.
18:57I sleep naked too.
18:58Do you sleep naked?
18:59No, never.
19:00Sports bra on and Bridget Jones knickers.
19:02You're marrying a billionaire.
19:03Are you all right with that?
19:03Yeah, he doesn't mind.
19:04He knows the rules.
19:05He knows the rules.
19:06I wear the trousers in the household and say,
19:07after a bad sex, do not touch me.
19:09I put Bridget Jones knickers on.
19:11It holds my stomach in.
19:17There's teenagers in the house.
19:19I want to know what Sheena's secret recipe is,
19:21because that woman is ageing backwards.
19:23I wish that etiquette lady was here now,
19:26and you sat like that.
19:29You're me now.
19:31Hello.
19:32Hello.
19:33Hello.
19:34Sexy.
19:34You're the best for last.
19:37It's a pyjama party where I become looking for sex.
19:41None of us fancy you, honey bun.
19:43To me, they want to be your hubby.
19:45They want to be your girlfriend.
19:47Well, the whole point of tonight, ladies,
19:49is to get the female prowess, the inner alpha female,
19:54that thing between your legs to pulsate and feel magical.
19:58A thing that goes between my legs that makes me feel magical
20:01and pulsate tonight.
20:03Hmm.
20:05Is that a big vibrator?
20:06Great.
20:07Can't wait to go to bed.
20:08So, what we're going to do, ladies, we're going to go outside.
20:11No, I'm not.
20:12We are going to howl to the moon.
20:15Oh, oh, oh!
20:16Oh, my God!
20:18I definitely feel like Hampi has done this before,
20:21because, yeah, she is a pro at howling.
20:26That is not her first time howl.
20:29Come on, then, ladies.
20:31Let's go.
20:32Enjoy, girlies.
20:33No, I'm not doing that.
20:35No.
20:36No.
20:37No, no, no, no, no, no.
20:38I'm just confused about vagina to howl into...
20:43The moon's going to be like, what the fuck?
20:46We're going to release any pent-up negativity to the moon.
20:53I was thinking it's really fucking foggy.
20:55You can't see the moon.
20:59Oh, my God, we're all harmonising.
21:02So, we've had etiquette.
21:03Now we're howling at the moon from our vaginas.
21:06Who knows what's going to happen?
21:11We've got a game, ladies.
21:12Because I want to get to know each one of you better.
21:15You pull out a question, you read it, and you answer it.
21:19Lauren's question. Lauren, wake me up.
21:22Who is the biggest gossip in the group?
21:27Home truth, I'm getting to know a bit more about you all.
21:33I've got the biggest gossip going.
21:36You don't say.
21:37Ah, but... You actually do.
21:38I know. You do.
21:39I heard you said to Tanya that I was a gag.
21:45I don't even know what a gag is.
21:46I had to go on gag. What's that?
21:47You told Tanya?
21:48Yeah. No.
21:49Oh, so you repeated it.
21:51I didn't.
21:52I didn't.
21:53Well, not to you.
21:54I haven't... I've not told Nameena.
21:56Right, Nameena, wait.
21:57I've told Nameena.
21:59Right, no, no, no. Who's told you?
22:00I told... I told Nameena.
22:02And Pika told me.
22:03So, gossip here.
22:05Gossip here.
22:06Gossip on Pika.
22:07Told Tanya.
22:08Tanya told Ampika.
22:10I asked Paige and...
22:11What?!
22:12I didn't say anything!
22:13No, Ampika asked...
22:15Ampika told me this.
22:16I was like, oh, shit, you heard too.
22:17I did say what? What you are.
22:19I'm a gag. I don't even...
22:20I had to get my phone out.
22:21I never said gag. I never said gag.
22:23I said beg.
22:25Oh, no.
22:27Lauren, stop talking.
22:30This was a few weeks ago when we all started hanging out together.
22:35I said, Nameena...
22:36You've been hanging out for years.
22:37Well, you haven't.
22:38There was a little bit of a gag.
22:40OK.
22:40So, I'm not being horrible.
22:41I mean, I've been dealing with something serious the last few years.
22:43Yes, you have.
22:44You got better, and I'm so happy.
22:46You're putting me as I'm someone outside this group,
22:49trying to be part of the group.
22:51Well, I think what you've said is not really nice to say.
22:54I think it's incorrect, and I don't think it's true.
22:55But it's not incorrect. You don't speak to anyone.
22:58No, just because we don't speak.
22:58You haven't spoken to Paige.
23:00I do.
23:00First of all, I'm not trying.
23:02To be part of a group that you've not seen anyone for three years.
23:05I think you're not going to decide if I'm part of the group or not.
23:08I saw Paige over...
23:09I see her.
23:11Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
23:11Hold on a minute.
23:13I am not deciding whether you're part of the group.
23:17No, I will...
23:18Wait, wait.
23:19I feel so uncomfortable right now because I really like Namina.
23:23I love Lauren.
23:25I don't know where to put myself.
23:27I feel so awkward.
23:29I will never decide whether you're part of a group.
23:33That would be really unfair.
23:34You just said.
23:35I said you were a beg trying to be part of a group.
23:38I'm not.
23:38I don't think that's a nice thing to say.
23:39That you've not hung around with us for three years.
23:41I think you're just rude.
23:42I just think you're rude, and I'm just going to leave it.
23:44I think I'm rude.
23:45I think you're being very rude.
23:46I'm not being rude.
23:48I said at the very beginning...
23:49You're right, you're not being rude.
23:50You are rude.
23:51You are a bit of a beg.
23:52Rachel, will you take a gift?
23:56I've been dealing with so much shit in my life the last three years.
24:00I'm not being part of any group.
24:02I think you're being extremely rude.
24:04I'm not going after that.
24:04I'm just going to cool down for five seconds.
24:07I'm sad to see her get that hysterical and get really upset,
24:11but she's been here all night and she's had all night to say something.
24:15She's very calculated her.
24:17She knows what she's doing.
24:20I do not want to add fuel to the fire or be mean.
24:23However, in my experience, does Namina get involved where she shouldn't?
24:28Absolutely.
24:28So does that make her a gag?
24:30Then, yeah, I guess it does.
24:32But this is exactly what she wants.
24:34She's trying to make herself relevant.
24:35I'm not siding with anything.
24:37I'm just going to go chuckle her because she is upset.
24:39Do you know what I mean?
24:39Well, you're a beg too, then, for running off.
24:42Don't call me a beg, Lauren. Come on.
24:43Come on, Lauren. It's not fair.
24:45No one should go off crying in any group situation.
24:47You know what I mean? It's not nice.
24:49I'm not going to call you out in front of a group,
24:50but you and I have the relationship where we tell each other things.
24:53Were you going to tell me to not speak?
24:55No, I'm not going to tell you not to speak.
24:56Because I'm not going to listen to that.
24:57Beg is a pretty bad word.
24:59It's called a social climate.
25:00It's the same thing.
25:01Oh, Lauren.
25:02That just hit quite a sensitive nerve because I'm thinking,
25:05like, the last three years, you're right,
25:07you haven't seen me as much, Lauren,
25:08but I've not been enjoying life.
25:11I've actually been fighting for my life.
25:12And for you to say something,
25:13I'm trying to get back into this group and be part of the group,
25:16you're being an insensitive bitch.
25:18I'm sorry for my language.
25:19You are being an insensitive bitch because I'm lucky and happy
25:22and grateful to be able to be part of this group again.
25:25Because if you asked me three years ago,
25:26I wasn't even sure if I'm going to be here.
25:29And, Pika, I'm going to be totally honest with you now.
25:32Yeah.
25:32This game was only really going to go one way.
25:35If you ask someone personal questions...
25:37Well, can I just tell you something you're actually wrong?
25:39Because this game did not go wrong because of the game.
25:42This went wrong because somebody told her,
25:44and I said she was a bad, which was you.
25:46So, actually, it's your fault, Pika-boo.
25:48It is my fault.
25:48But, however, you've said it.
25:50No, let me finish.
25:51Forget etiquette.
25:52Who is the most genuine?
25:54Me.
25:55Because I'll tell you exactly how it is.
25:57Oh!
25:59No?
26:09Morning.
26:10Morning, Angel.
26:11How was the patient this morning?
26:13Oh, I didn't have a great night's sleep.
26:14Oh, did you not?
26:15Have you seen the snow?
26:16I know. I know. Isn't it gorgeous?
26:18Isn't it?
26:26How old are you now?
26:27You don't look 50.
26:29Thanks.
26:30Too bad. I don't think any of us look our age.
26:32I think we all look...
26:33Everyone looks great.
26:34We do things, don't we?
26:35Well, well...
26:36Oh, when are we having our fudges done?
26:38What, are you getting your vaginas tightened?
26:39Not tighter, no.
26:41It's just dropped a bit.
26:42Oh, OK.
26:42I just want it just pulled.
26:43Pulling up.
26:44Yeah.
26:45It's just gravity, really.
26:47Oh, so it's droopy.
26:48Let me show you gravity.
26:50Look at this.
26:51Chelsea Healy and Brooke Vincent posted it.
26:53My fudge, look at that.
26:58You've got a foot on cat water.
27:00I can't even see that.
27:01Yours was worse.
27:02Mine was worse.
27:10Oh, ladies.
27:13We've got an action-packed day today.
27:15So excited.
27:16Pulling out all the stops as usual.
27:19So, we have got three of us, well, four of us, actually,
27:22off to the animal farm for some animal therapy.
27:27If I get shagged by a sheep, I swear to God and go, no.
27:31And then for you ladies, Paige, Sheena and Lauren,
27:34you've got champagne sabarage.
27:37I spend my life around animals and not enough time around champagne.
27:43And Pika, is there any chance we can rejiggle the group?
27:46With a very handsome, sexy gentleman.
27:49Why are you looking at me?
27:50He's going to be doing something extra special with his sword.
27:53I've never heard it called a sword before.
27:55I don't know.
27:57Yeah.
27:57I don't know what I have.
28:02Come on, ladies.
28:03Let's go.
28:04Ooh.
28:06Oh, hi.
28:07Hello.
28:08Well, this is very Game of Thrones.
28:09It is very Game of Thrones.
28:10It's a little fire in a big fire pit.
28:12That is one big sword.
28:15I hope we know how to use that because, yeah,
28:18that would destroy someone.
28:21Oh, I shouldn't say that.
28:27I'm going to be teaching you guys the art of sabarage,
28:31which is opening a bottle of champagne with a sword.
28:35As far as I'm concerned, if we've all got fingers at the end of this...
28:37We're doing good.
28:38We're doing good.
28:39Yeah, I'm fine with that.
28:41We take our bottle, holding it from the bottom
28:44to keep my fingers and thumbs out of the way.
28:46So not even using, like, the sharp tip of the blade,
28:48just using the base of it.
28:50A few times back and forth.
28:53There we go.
29:01Hi, Claire. Hi, Claire.
29:02We're super excited.
29:03Are you?
29:04Please tell these ladies what we've got in store for them today.
29:06You're going to meet some lovely fluffy alpaca boys,
29:09take them for a little walk.
29:10What we've got to be careful of around alpacas
29:12is that we actually not touch them on the face.
29:14If you go towards the face, they're going to spit at you.
29:17And when they spit, it's the contents left of their bowels
29:20that they spit at you.
29:22It better not fucking spit on me.
29:28Oh, yeah.
29:30I mean, this is six inches, isn't it?
29:33So we're dealing with six inches, are we, Tom?
29:35I mean, I'm not good at measurements, so whatever you say, Tom.
29:42That was really good.
29:44That was so cool.
29:44That was actually probably one of the best demonstrations I've ever seen.
29:48I'm absolutely delighted.
29:50I never do well in these activities.
29:52And now, I've done it first time.
29:54Yay, me.
29:55Lower down the blade where it's a bit heavier.
29:57And make sure you are pushing down into the bottle as you go.
30:01Perfect.
30:02Look at that.
30:03And if you look again, it's taking the top and the glass clean off.
30:08It's a bit more pressure going down into the bottle.
30:11Yay!
30:11Perfect.
30:13Oh, well done.
30:14Really good.
30:15That was really cool.
30:16I really enjoyed that.
30:17Well, to be fair, Sheena got the best shot, but I mean,
30:19who got the best cleaners cut?
30:20You, it looks like yours is.
30:26Rachel, you're missing all the fun, Rachel.
30:28Fun?
30:29You've got mirrors on your ceiling, a shower that fits four,
30:32and you think walking that thing round is fun.
30:34What's happened to you?
30:35Come on.
30:36Come on, Winston, you stubborn bugger.
30:38Come on.
30:39Tanya, you are not made for the farm.
30:41That flat cap, Tanya, you look similar.
30:45Claire, do you find them quite affectionate animals, would you say?
30:48They're very nervous, but when you build up the trust, they are.
30:50But if you want to go in for a cuddle, you're more than welcome.
30:53Just give him a little stroke on his neck there.
30:56Alpaca shit.
31:00I don't know why she keeps doing this to me.
31:02Last time, I had to take a donkey for a walk.
31:04It took me for a walk.
31:10Good.
31:11Good.
31:11Vamos, Ander.
31:15Oh!
31:19Fucking hell.
31:20Get me out of here.
31:22Can I ask how the therapy's going?
31:24I think Tanya's quite upset.
31:25Fine if you like our fucker shit.
31:33Cheers, girls.
31:34Well done.
31:34And thank you, Tanya.
31:36Well done, guys.
31:37Girlies.
31:37Chin chin.
31:38See you later.
31:39Bye.
31:42Bye, guys.
31:45All right, girlies.
31:46Hi.
31:46Hi.
31:47Hi, how was that?
31:48I loved it.
31:49I'm not sure if Tanya agrees, but I had an amazing time.
31:52Thank you, Aunt Pika.
31:53Tanya's walking home.
31:54She stinks.
31:56How's everyone feeling after last night?
31:58How are you feeling?
31:59I am still really upset about it.
32:00I'm not going to lie.
32:00And I don't want to get emotional.
32:02The things that have been said are just really upsetting, you know?
32:05And I felt like I was trying to explain myself and trying to kind of get a word in.
32:10Just escalated really quickly.
32:12And it just genuinely really, really upset me.
32:15I don't agree with Lauren on this particular point.
32:18I like the fact that Namina's in the group.
32:20I don't understand what Lauren's problem is.
32:23What the hell happened last night?
32:26Because I will say, Lauren, like, you were going in.
32:30Like, you were going, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm.
32:32But was she giving it to get it?
32:34Oh, yeah.
32:34Don't get me wrong.
32:35Like, that came out of nowhere from Lauren.
32:37I mean, she's been giving it a lot recently to everyone.
32:40She has.
32:41And I do agree.
32:41I mean, she started with me.
32:42With me, yeah.
32:42Yeah, she started with you.
32:44She's coming for me.
32:45And then it went, yeah, and I do agree.
32:46I had told her that.
32:47I did say that.
32:48Third time looking, mate.
32:48You got it.
32:49Yeah.
32:49You know, you keep pushing.
32:50You will get it.
32:51I already know that when someone attacks me, I go back twice as hard, twice as horrible.
32:57So don't bother, because you're not going to like what comes out my mouth.
33:00Why does she feel so entitled to feel that she needs to kind of know why I'm back in the
33:05group?
33:05I don't disagree with you.
33:06It's something that she said to Seema that she never thought you'd hear about or would get back to you.
33:11She likes you.
33:12Well, it doesn't sound like she likes me if she says those things about me behind my back, does it?
33:16I was with Seema in a car, and I asked her why Namina was hanging around with us.
33:23As a social climber, coming to these parties is a bit of a beg.
33:27Are these words harsh?
33:28Yeah, but Lauren says what she means, and I don't necessarily disagree with her.
33:34And she explained to me that she is launching a new equestrian outfit and she wants to be in the
33:43right circles for that.
33:44To promote that. To promote it.
33:46And I said, I get it.
33:50When I met Lauren and, you know, when I met you girls, I was a different person back then.
33:53Most of the time, I wouldn't actually fight back, but I'm a fighter.
33:56I've been through absolute shit in my life, and I will fight you.
33:58If I have to, I will fight you.
33:59I'm not going to just swallow it because that's the person you are.
34:02With Lauren, it could go one of either two ways. She could reflect and be apologetic,
34:07or she could get really defensive and make it worse.
34:11I mean, I really hope that it's not the latter. I hope that she's...
34:14I hope so, too, because I do not know how I will react at this point and moment of time.
34:18You know, I just don't know.
34:31Tonight, I've really pulled out the stops. I've spared no expense.
34:36I've got two chefs from London to make sure that the food is on point.
34:39I want this to be the most lovely, warm, welcoming,
34:43last supper that we have together to finish the retreat off.
34:50I'd like everyone to be seated.
34:52Remember how to manoeuvre your chairs.
34:54Oh, yes. Thanks for that.
34:56Oh, I love it.
34:58You're not meant to put your handbag on the table, are you?
35:01And we all have. Every single one of us has.
35:09Sheena, can I just say, because you've had that wonderful activity of learning how to...
35:13Oh, my God. It was.
35:14Could you do the honours with the champagne?
35:17Yeah, we got it.
35:19I'll open the bottle, but not like that.
35:20Do you know what, though, Ampika? What a great activity.
35:23Great party trick that I'm definitely going to take.
35:25Oh, yes.
35:26I freaking love that sword.
35:27That was like...
35:30Ampika clearly was not messing around when she said Tom had a big sword.
35:36It was so fun. It sounds like in like a movie.
35:39I love my alpaca.
35:40Oh, it was an ugly thing.
35:42Was it Winston?
35:42Winston. No, you had Winston.
35:43Oh, it was viewing.
35:45He had a proper, grumpy face.
35:46I thought you looked very similar to it.
35:48I did too, with the black cap on.
35:49I thought like pet-like owner, honestly.
35:50I've had a brownie, thank you.
35:52The guy that did your brownie.
35:54Oh!
35:54Fucking hell.
35:57Bloody hell, Sheena.
35:58Why me fellas shook them with right?
36:00To peekaboo, thank you.
36:02Thank you so much.
36:02Thank you for participating.
36:04I've got some wonderful adventurers.
36:06Each and every one of you from the bottom of my heart.
36:08To get all of your diaries where someone's free without child care,
36:12without animal problems, without work, to get you all together.
36:16Talking about diaries, I've messed up, girls.
36:19I thought Ralphie's game was tomorrow and it's tonight,
36:22so I'm going to have to scoot off mid-summer day.
36:25Football mum life.
36:26If I missed Ralphie's first game for his new club,
36:30he would never forgive me.
36:31And I won't forgive myself.
36:33The mum guilt.
36:34It's my brain.
36:35I can't remember dates.
36:36It's like an actual flump.
36:39Wish him good luck from us.
36:40I love you, I love you, I love you.
36:42Bye.
36:43Drive safe.
36:44Bye.
36:44How did you meet David?
36:46How did you guys meet?
36:47Through a blind date.
36:48So, about 17 years ago, went on a date.
36:51He was with somebody, but he was never married.
36:53He never lived with anybody.
36:54He lived his life as a single man.
36:57So, I said, you've got to make a decision whether you're going to stay
36:59with the partner who you've had your children with,
37:02or whether you want to be with me.
37:04And that's not a threat.
37:05And he just said, I've made my mind up.
37:07I want to be with you.
37:09Aww.
37:10So, yeah.
37:11I think life is full of ups and downs for everybody.
37:14But I always say to people that good things happen to good people.
37:19And I've been a very good person the majority of my life,
37:22and that's why I've got my happily ever after.
37:25I work hard and make my own money.
37:26I said to him, when we get married, I'm happy to sign a prenup,
37:29get the prenup written.
37:30I really believe in prenup.
37:32I think, as well, going through what we've gone through
37:35and single-handedly supporting a family,
37:37when you get back on the dating apps,
37:40men also find it quite intimidating
37:41when a woman is totally in their alpha energy.
37:45Yes.
37:45Which I don't want to be in my alpha energy.
37:47I don't.
37:48But the fact is...
37:50I'm like, oh!
37:51Oh, Ray!
37:52Why are you going upset now?
37:54Don't be silly.
37:55I get it. You're being a mum and a dad and everything at once.
37:59I can relate to how Rachel feels.
38:02We've both gone through similar experiences in our life.
38:05But what they say is, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
38:08Sometimes you just have to put your big girl knickers on
38:10and get on with it.
38:12I carry everything, you know,
38:14and it's a lot of stress.
38:16So I'm always in my alpha energy and I hate it.
38:19You do it so well, you wish you wouldn't have to.
38:22I wish I wouldn't have to and I like to soften.
38:25But also, you know, even what I earn, they find it intimidating.
38:29I feel like sometimes you can't win.
38:31You work so hard so you are independent,
38:33you don't need to rely on anyone,
38:35but then they don't like it when you work so hard.
38:38I also put the children first, I always will do.
38:41Nick and probably any other man that I might meet
38:44is going to find that really frustrating that they're not the top of my list.
38:48But when you're a mum of five, how can anyone be above your kids?
38:52I think I would only date older. I do.
38:54I just, I like an older man.
38:56Oh, so do I, Rachel.
38:57We know you do.
38:59You don't say.
39:01Could you imagine me around no folks home, I'd be lethal.
39:04Oh, my goodness.
39:07Where's Peekaboo?
39:15Did you feel like you've had a lot of, you know,
39:17judgment around the age gap?
39:19A hell of a lot, yeah, and a lot of abuse on social media.
39:22I think, one, because of the age gap and two, because of David's wealth.
39:26I think people are very judgmental in general when it comes to age gap.
39:29Jealous, also a little bit jealous of the situation.
39:32I get it from all angles.
39:34It's not about interracial, it's more the fact we're interfaith.
39:36Like, obviously, I know I have converted,
39:38but I still get it a lot from, you know, a lot of the communities.
39:41Paige, have you changed your fashion sense since being with Amir, would you say?
39:44No, I actually haven't.
39:46I've made it my kind of strength to be me.
39:49Would you wear revealing things?
39:50I've never really been one to have my boobs out too much,
39:53but that's mainly because I don't like my boobs.
39:56Because I actually, I don't think you realise, you said something,
39:59you know, at Rachel's murder mystery, you said to me,
40:03you look gorgeous, but Amir would never let me leave the house.
40:06Oh, no, he wouldn't, and that is, sadly, that's the honest truth,
40:09he probably wouldn't, he would have a go at me.
40:16Oh, my God, Amir would kill me, though, what's up with that?
40:18He was like, I mean, he would love it, but he'd be like, no, no.
40:22That felt a little bit judgmental, you know?
40:24Oh, my God, towards you?
40:24It felt a little bit like, oh, he would never let me go.
40:27Oh, no, no, you take that, no, no, no, no, no.
40:28I felt really happy and, you know, I felt like I dressed the part.
40:31You thought I judged you?
40:33I felt a little bit judged there.
40:35This is so weird, because wasn't Paige the one that ran out after Namina,
40:40when she was really upset and actually spent the rest of the night with her.
40:43And now for Namina to kind of turn on her and pick at her for something,
40:48like, so petty, that's not very good.
40:52I think it sounded like you were maybe saying that she was disrespecting her
40:56husband by going out like that, and they're not like that.
40:58This is a bit of a stretch.
40:59He completely trusts whatever she wears.
41:01This is a bit of a reach, girls, this is a bit of a reach.
41:03I'm completely lost.
41:04If Namina had such a problem with what I said,
41:07why is she waiting until now to tell me?
41:09Why am I getting, like, penalized?
41:12You're not being attacked.
41:13You're not being attacked.
41:14Oh, my God.
41:15Like, my God.
41:16Let me have a go at a man.
41:17Like, it's just my personal views.
41:19I never judge anyone for what they look like, do or anything.
41:22I think you should just eat the lower door.
41:24No, I'm not doing anything.
41:25I have been judged all my life.
41:28No, I'm getting pissed.
41:29I'm not going to be like, I'm a judgy person,
41:30because I never judge anyone.
41:32I have been through it.
41:34I have been there.
41:35I've been the person who was fucking judged.
41:38I have a community where I am not.
41:41Don't fit in.
41:42I am judging every walk of my religion, everything I do.
41:44I would never fucking judge anyone.
41:48Is your husband happy for you to go out in whatever you've got on?
41:53Yes?
41:54Then crack on.
41:55Why do you care about somebody's opinion?
41:58Babes, if you're going to wear a see-through outfit,
42:00be confident in it and crack on.
42:03Don't make me like a judgy person.
42:05Are you going to let me speak or not?
42:07Let's just calm down.
42:08Let's just calm down.
42:09I respect that you apologise and I feel like we should just leave it there.
42:12OK, well, I heard you and I'm sorry you fart that way.
42:16Then I don't think you think that before you speak,
42:18and this is a positive thing.
42:21She doesn't think before she speaks.
42:23She doesn't.
42:23What about you?
42:24Well, you've not stopped speaking, missus.
42:26Well, am I allowed to speak or not?
42:28Well, have you slid? Go for it.
42:30You're holding court, so continue.
42:32No, I'm not.
42:34Namina's forming a little bit of a pattern here.
42:37First it was me, then it was Paige, now it's Lauren.
42:40Look out, girls, who's next?
42:42I was with Seema on the way home, and I said,
42:46how come Namina's hanging around again?
42:48Is she becoming a bit of a beck?
42:50By saying that, you're basically kind of saying,
42:52like, I'm just... Well, you just said it.
42:53I appreciate my time more than anything of anything in life.
42:58Which is why I couldn't understand why you would come to these parties.
43:00I choose to be around people where I want...
43:02Why not? I want to celebrate life.
43:05I want to be around people that are like,
43:06I actually like these girls.
43:09You should actually say, to Seema turn around,
43:12and not question it and say, good on them.
43:15I am allowed to question why.
43:15No, you should, as a friend.
43:16I did.
43:17As a friend, you say, good on her for being around again.
43:20After everything she's been through.
43:22And I did at the end.
43:23At the end?
43:24No.
43:24But why question it in the fucking first place, Lauren?
43:27Because I couldn't understand why anybody would want to come
43:30to an event and be an extra.
43:32I've never been a fucking extra.
43:34Where are you getting that from?
43:35I've never been an extra.
43:37No, you haven't.
43:38And that's why I couldn't understand why you were there.
43:40I'm getting myself back.
43:41I've been quiet for three years, fighting something behind the scenes.
43:44I understand that.
43:47I think Namina's one of the strongest girls going through what she's been through.
43:50My father had cancer, and I don't think it ever leaves you.
43:52I'm trying to get back out there, build my business.
43:55And I said, well done to Seema.
43:59Being here with girls like you.
44:01The word beg is not nice, and I apologise.
44:03I shouldn't have said it.
44:04I think you use wrong words.
44:05But why Seema said the word beg?
44:07Why she repeated it all?
44:09And actually, if you're going to repeat a conversation, I have no problem.
44:12But say the end.
44:13The end was, I'm glad that you're here.
44:17If there's anything that Seema needs to learn, it's to keep her mouth firmly closed.
44:21Because all of this, Seema, is down to you.
44:26I do feel like a conversation is going to have to be had with Seema
44:30to find out what she's said and done.
44:33At this point, I don't understand why she's done it,
44:36but there has to be a reason, because this is not making sense to me right now.
44:50Next time on The Real Housewives of Cheshire.
44:53Oh, my God, right.
44:56Brain-free.
44:56Ah!
44:57Fucking hell!
44:58Fuck me!
45:00How are you feeling?
45:01You're very stiff.
45:02It's literally like someone is pulling my skin.
45:05What did you say?
45:08We've got a lot of stress with our house.
45:10I always am able to manage my stress.
45:13And I'm finding it the most hard to talk to him, the closest person to me.
45:17Ring me!
45:18You never ring me!
45:19Can I give you?
45:19She has sent messages to you to invite you out, and you have replied.
45:24I've got two freaking messages!
45:26Polka dot princess has polka dot.
45:39Oh, my gosh!
45:45Hey!
45:46Hi!
45:48Ciao, cu-la- bash!
45:49Oh, my gosh.
45:56Ca-co-la-xi.
45:57Oh, my gosh.
45:59Bye-bye!
46:00Call in 577-544-785-544-5443.
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