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The Daily Show - Season 31 - Episode 53: Ali Siddiq
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00:03From the most trusted journalists at Comedy Central, it's America's only source for news.
00:10This is The Daily Show with your host, Josh Johnson.
00:28Welcome to The Daily Show.
00:31I'm Josh Johnson.
00:32We've got so much to talk about tonight.
00:34Trump and King Charles hold a Yes Kings rally.
00:37James Comey wishes he could 86 haul his Instagram posts.
00:40And Mo Amherst stops by to talk about Islamophobia.
00:43Is it good? Is it bad? Stay tuned to find out.
00:47So let's get into the headlines.
00:54Let's start with King Charles, the world's oldest Nepo baby.
00:58He's visiting the United States this week because even though our country is falling apart right now,
01:03it's also our 250th birthday.
01:06So no matter how sad the party is going to be, our friends are still coming over.
01:12Then on the ride home, they'll be like, she is a rough 250.
01:18So yesterday, King Charles dropped by and he brought some jokes to cheer us up.
01:22This is a city which symbolizes a period in our shared history,
01:26or what Charles Dickens might have called a tale of two Georges.
01:38Wow.
01:39He really commands the state.
01:41I'm sorry.
01:42He really colonizes the stage.
01:45What's annoying about this as a comedian is that he is actually killing.
01:49I mean, look at him feeling himself in the laughs.
01:53A tale of two Georges.
01:59He's even got like a signature move with his hands.
02:03And Charles did not stop there.
02:05250 years ago, or as we say in the United Kingdom, just the other day.
02:18Dare I say that if it wasn't for us, you'd be speaking French.
02:25You know, I've always wondered what white dev jam would be like.
02:30I kind of want him to keep going.
02:32Like, you ever notice that white people drive like this,
02:36and black people steal your son?
02:48But yeah, Charles is crushing it.
02:50Hit us with another one.
02:52Magna Carta is cited in at least 160 Supreme Court cases since 1789,
03:01not least as the foundation of the principle
03:04that executive power is subject to checks and balances.
03:13Ooh, ooh, ooh, he got us too good.
03:17No, no, it's funny, because you see,
03:19because we don't have checks and balances anymore,
03:21because the foundations of our democracy are slowly being eroded away.
03:26Like, are you crazy, Chuck?
03:28You crazy?
03:29Oh, the best part of that joke is that right after Charles warned us about a leader with unchecked power,
03:37Trump was like, that's a good idea.
03:39Breaking news.
03:40Former FBI Director James Comey, one of President Trump's biggest political adversaries,
03:45has been indicted for a second time.
03:47Now that's timing.
03:49Just to get you up to speed,
03:51a year ago, James Comey did the most retired old man thing ever.
03:55He walked on a beach and took a picture of seashells,
03:58and even posted on social media, like we wanted to see it too.
04:03This since deleted Instagram posts from Comey,
04:06showing the numbers 86-47, written in seashells on the beach,
04:11with the caption,
04:12cool shell formation on my beach walk.
04:15Trump supporters condemning that post,
04:17claiming it was a call to 86 or kill the 47th president.
04:23This?
04:24The seashells?
04:25That's the threat?
04:27Are you sure he was acting alone?
04:29Because as long as we're indicting,
04:30I heard about a woman who sells seashells by the seashore.
04:35That's suspicious as hell.
04:38Seriously, how do you get from this post,
04:41James Comey wants to murder the president?
04:44James Comey is a very intelligent man.
04:46I would assume he knows what the term 86 means.
04:49I was a waiter for some time.
04:51When you 86 in order, you kill the order.
04:54When you 86-45, that is tantamount to saying
04:57killing the president of the United States.
05:00He should have known that.
05:01When you 86 in order, you get rid of the order, right?
05:06But you're not actually, I mean, you're not killing the food.
05:19Yeah, exactly.
05:20That would be weird, wouldn't it?
05:22Like, uh, Joey, Joey, it's, uh, it's ravioli.
05:25It's a little mushy.
05:26So take it out back and blow its brains out.
05:28Capisce?
05:30Just so you're aware,
05:31this is probably not going to work in court,
05:33because I know it's scary to be indicted,
05:35but this is definitely going to get 86 by a judge.
05:39And in fact, if I could talk to the Department of Justice
05:41for just a second,
05:42I don't even think you believe you.
05:44Because if you're saying that those menacing seashells
05:47were a threat to the president,
05:49then why did it take you nearly a year
05:51to come after Comey?
05:52I thought the Secret Service on Saturday night was slow.
05:55I owe them an apology.
05:58Just so we're all clear,
06:0086 means getting rid of something off a menu
06:02or kicking someone out of a place.
06:04It's been understood to mean those things
06:07since the 1930s.
06:08It's actually one of the last good slang terms
06:12that white people invented.
06:14Since then, it's been nothing but bazinga
06:17and amazeballs and...
06:19and a few new slurs.
06:22Mostly the slurs.
06:24So I'm not worried that James Comey
06:26is actually going to prison.
06:28But what's bumming me out is the fact
06:29that our president feels totally unencumbered
06:32to use the power of the Justice Department
06:33to go after people he doesn't like.
06:35You know what I mean?
06:44This whole thing is so depressing.
06:47I could use a pick-me-up.
06:48As Oscar Wilde said,
06:51we have really everything in common
06:53with America nowadays,
06:55except, of course, language.
07:00Oh, damn.
07:01Get him, Chuck.
07:02Get him.
07:04Honestly, I don't even know what that means.
07:06But for more on the indictment of James Comey
07:09and the fallout,
07:10we go live to Grace Kuhlenschmidt.
07:16Grace, the courts are going to throw this case out, right?
07:26That's what I thought at first, Josh.
07:28So I went to the beach to investigate,
07:30and now I see that the beach is full of threats
07:34to the president.
07:36Like what?
07:37More seashells?
07:38Even worse, Josh.
07:39Look at this.
07:42It just looks like a bucket.
07:44Yeah.
07:45As in the president should kick the bucket.
07:49Look.
07:54Josh, the four-year-old who I grabbed this from
07:58was clearly implying that
08:00because he had the same haircut as Rachel Maddow.
08:06I think you just stole a child's bucket.
08:09Agree to disagree.
08:11Well, okay, what about this?
08:13I found this flyer
08:15that verbatim says DJ Trap Night at Club 69.
08:19As in, tonight, we trap DJ Donald J.
08:23It couldn't be more clear.
08:27Then what does Club 69 mean?
08:29It means that club is f***ing cool, bro.
08:34This all sounds like normal beach stuff.
08:36Yeah.
08:37That's the problem, Josh.
08:38This kind of threat is just becoming normalized.
08:41You probably don't even think
08:43this used condom I found in the sand is...
08:47Oh, no, Grace!
08:50That's just gross.
08:51Put that down!
08:53Oh, is it gross?
08:54Or is somebody threatening
08:55to suffocate Trump's penis?
08:58An attack on his penis
09:00is an attack on America.
09:02That is not what that is.
09:04Now drop that before you catch chlamydia.
09:06Too late!
09:08But it's not too late
09:10to tone down the beach rhetoric.
09:12For God's sake,
09:13there are jack dudes walking around
09:15in tank tops
09:16with violent messages
09:18ordering people to
09:19take their guns is out
09:21because the sun's is out.
09:25That's referring to their biceps.
09:27Biceps?
09:28Bi-iceps?
09:30Here we go again with the D-E-I.
09:33God forbid we have heteroseps anymore.
09:38Grace, how long have you been on the beach?
09:40You sound like you have sun poisoning.
09:42Wrong again, Josh.
09:44The chlamydia has reached my brain.
09:48Go get that checked out.
09:49Grace Koolenschmidt, everybody.
09:51When we come back,
09:53Mo Hammer gives us some tips on bigotry,
09:55so don't go away.
10:14Welcome back to The Daily Show.
10:16Welcome back to The Daily Show.
10:16We all know I've got great opinions,
10:18but I'm not the only one.
10:19Studies show that other people
10:21also have opinions.
10:23So here with another installment
10:25of In My Opinion
10:26is our good friend Mo Hammer.
10:34Thank you, Josh.
10:35What's up, guys?
10:36I'm Mo Hammer.
10:37Before we get started,
10:38I should confess something.
10:40Mo is actually my nickname.
10:42My full name is...
10:45...Moh Hammer.
10:52...Moh Hammer.
10:54You're welcome.
10:55It's the most popular name in the world.
10:57All right?
10:58Lots of Muslims are named Moh Hammer.
11:00Moh Hammer Ali, greatest of all time.
11:02Soccer legend, Mo Salah.
11:03Hell, Sabrina Carpenter
11:05just changed her name to Moh Hammer.
11:07We accept your apology, girl.
11:09Be cool.
11:10Just chill.
11:12But for some reason,
11:13being afraid of Muslims
11:14is really trendy right now.
11:17Islam is not compatible
11:18with Western civilization.
11:19That's not a religion.
11:20That's a cult.
11:21They are here to impose
11:22their way of life
11:23on all of you.
11:25I've said it once,
11:27and I'll say it again.
11:29Deport them all.
11:31Congressman Randy Fine
11:32of Florida explicitly saying,
11:34quote,
11:34we need more Islamophobia,
11:37not less.
11:38Stand with radical Islam?
11:40And you can Allah Akbar your butt
11:42all the way back
11:43to the Middle East.
11:47What?
11:48What?
11:49Allahu Akbar
11:50means God is great.
11:52You want me to God is great
11:54my tootkiss back
11:55to the Middle East?
11:57Are you having a stroke?
11:58You need to Allahu Akbar
11:59to a doctor, ASAP.
12:03Sheesh.
12:04It turned up the Islamophobia
12:05all the way up to a 10,
12:06or at least somewhere
12:08between 9 and 11.
12:11I know, I know, I know,
12:13I know, I know, I know.
12:14We didn't do it, okay?
12:16George Bush did it!
12:22Anyway,
12:24this is where your old pal
12:25Mo Ammer comes in.
12:26I grew up in Houston, Texas,
12:28with the first name Mohammed,
12:29so I'm kind of an expert
12:30in Islamophobia.
12:32Although, although,
12:34some people assume
12:35my name was Hector Gomez.
12:39Saludos, mis amigos.
12:42But I want to tell you
12:43something right now.
12:44I've been hearing
12:45your Islamophobia,
12:46and I'm offended.
12:48Not from the hate,
12:50but because it's so inaccurate.
12:52For example,
12:53I've been seeing you,
12:55a lot of you do this.
12:56Here's your kryptonite, Muslims.
12:59Here's your kryptonite.
13:01Man, you have a pig
13:02on top of a stick right now.
13:05What made you bring
13:06a pig out here today?
13:07I just want to stay safe,
13:08and I know they won't
13:09get close to hogs.
13:13Lady, you're doing too much.
13:15You don't need that pig head
13:17to keep us away.
13:17That hat and that eye patch
13:19are enough!
13:27And, and, and by the way,
13:29we're definitely not intimidated
13:30when you leave
13:31the price tag on!
13:34Are you planning
13:34to return it?
13:35I mean, that poor guy
13:37at Home Depot
13:38is like, ma'am,
13:39I told you all pig head
13:41on the stick sales
13:42are final.
13:45But listen, Islamophobes,
13:47bacon is not
13:48our kryptonite.
13:50I mean, what do you think
13:50happens to us?
13:51You think I walk
13:52into a Denny's and go,
13:54what's that smell?
13:55Ah!
13:56My powers!
13:57My powers!
13:58I lost my Sharia super site!
14:00Oh, no!
14:01Ah!
14:03And for the record,
14:04we're not supposed to,
14:05and for the record,
14:06you're not supposed
14:06to eat pork either.
14:08All right?
14:08That's in the Bible, too.
14:10Leviticus, uh,
14:11chapter 11, verse 7.
14:13I, I stay in a lot of hotels.
14:15I'm lonely.
14:18Y'all give us
14:20way too much credit.
14:21Uh, you even act like
14:22we've taken over
14:23entire continents.
14:25Islam has conquered Europe.
14:26They've been taken over
14:27by the Muslims.
14:28London is basically
14:29Londonstan.
14:30Germany,
14:31fully conquered by Islam,
14:32it would appear.
14:33We lost New York.
14:35During Ramadan,
14:36New Yorkers are now
14:37waking up to this.
14:43That's not Iraq.
14:44It's not Afghanistan.
14:45That's Times Square.
14:48Times Square?
14:52Wait, wait, wait, wait.
14:54Times Square?
14:54You gonna blame,
14:55you gonna blame us
14:56for noise in Times Square?
14:59It's Times Square!
15:01These Muslims are keeping us
15:03up all night,
15:04all hours,
15:04in a city
15:05that doesn't sleep.
15:07Hey!
15:08I want to be
15:10a part of it.
15:12Islam,
15:13Islam
15:16starts...
15:16All right, all right,
15:17all right.
15:17I'm getting carried away here.
15:19All right.
15:19Listen, guys.
15:20Listen, listen, listen, listen.
15:21Here's my theory.
15:22You say you dislike Muslims,
15:23but I think you just hate New York.
15:25You're,
15:26you're not Islamophobic.
15:27You're New Yorkophobic
15:28because you constantly blame us
15:30for normal New York stuff.
15:32The New York Mets,
15:34they are on an 11-game losing streak,
15:37including,
15:38oh,
15:39right after the mayor
15:40met and hugged
15:42the team mascot,
15:43Mr. Met,
15:44at Citi Field
15:45on April 9th.
15:46A phenomenon people
15:46are calling the mom
15:47Donnie Curse.
15:49Don't you dare
15:50put the Mets on us,
15:52okay?
15:52They curse themselves.
15:54You think we would waste
15:55an ancient curse
15:56on the Mets?
15:58In fact,
15:59in fact,
16:00if the Mets really want to win,
16:01okay,
16:02maybe they need Islam.
16:03Maybe, yeah.
16:03Maybe they need to pray
16:04five times a day.
16:05Yeah, pray five times a day.
16:06That's how you'll get
16:07angels in Outfield.
16:13Please understand,
16:14Muslims aren't trying
16:14to take over
16:15the streets of New York.
16:16Well,
16:18maybe just,
16:19just one street.
16:20Mr. Rami,
16:21what does
16:21salaam alaykum mean?
16:22Well,
16:23salaam means peace,
16:24and it's a way
16:24to say hello in Arabic.
16:26Oh, cool.
16:27Oh, salaam alaykum,
16:28everybody.
16:29That's so sweet.
16:33Mm.
16:34Yes.
16:36That's so sweet.
16:37Peace for everyone.
16:38That makes sense.
16:39That makes...
16:40Wait a second.
16:40That makes sense.
16:41Elmo's full name is
16:42El-Mohammed!
16:52That's why I've never seen him
16:53with Miss Piggy.
16:54Yeah.
16:57Yeah, see?
16:58Yeah.
17:00I mean,
17:01a message of peace and joy.
17:03Who could be bad at that?
17:04I wish Sesame Street
17:06would stick to teaching kids
17:08about letters and numbers,
17:09Laura,
17:10and leave the Arabic
17:11immersion
17:12to someone else.
17:14By the way,
17:15there's no record
17:16of Sesame Workshop
17:17posting a Jewish
17:18Heritage Day,
17:19Italian Heritage Day,
17:21or Irish Heritage Day.
17:22We looked.
17:23Oh, you looked?
17:24You looked?
17:25Ha ha.
17:25You looked?
17:26Well, I don't think
17:27you looked hard enough,
17:28sweetheart.
17:28I can't say for certain,
17:30but I think we're going to...
17:34Irish Death Dancing School!
17:37From all of us
17:38on Sesame Street,
17:39we just want to say...
17:40Happy Hanukkah!
17:42So if Elmo knows
17:43what that is,
17:44that's rigatoni.
17:48Rigatoni.
17:49That was a hard R, Elmo.
17:51I gotta say,
17:52I'm a rigatoni.
17:53I don't feel comfortable.
17:55But see,
17:56why wouldn't they celebrate
17:57multiple cultures?
17:58Sesame Street is a diverse show.
18:00They got birds, frogs,
18:02coked-out elephants.
18:03I mean, look at his pupils!
18:05Who let this guy
18:06on a kid's show?
18:08He's doing lines like...
18:12All right.
18:15All right, all right.
18:17And that brings me
18:19to my final critique.
18:21Islamophobes,
18:22do your research.
18:24Because I have,
18:25and here it is.
18:26Muslims invented algebra,
18:28hospitals,
18:29universities,
18:30the camera,
18:31even algorithms,
18:33just to name a few.
18:34And if you right-wing Christians
18:36dislike Middle Eastern people
18:37and eating with your hands
18:39and teaching people
18:40about kindness,
18:40I have terrible news
18:42for you about Jesus!
18:47He was Middle Eastern,
18:48from Palestine,
18:50spoke Aramaic,
18:51a Semitic language,
18:52and handed people bread
18:53with his hands.
18:54And by the way,
18:55most Muslims aren't even Arab,
18:57and most Arab Americans
18:58are actually Christians.
18:59And while we're at it,
19:02Muslims also believe
19:03in Jesus Christ.
19:04He's mentioned in the Quran,
19:05which has an entire chapter
19:06named after his mother Mary,
19:07and we also believe
19:07in the virgin birth.
19:08Stop using lazy tropes
19:09to divide people
19:10so you can bomb other countries,
19:11creating even more refugees,
19:13making you more upset
19:14at Muslims in America,
19:15being doctors,
19:16engineers, lawyers,
19:17or selling you street meat
19:17out of delicious...
19:18I'm all good.
19:24I'm all good.
19:26When we come back,
19:27I'll ask you people
19:27to join me on the show,
19:28so don't go away.
19:38Welcome back to The Daily Show.
19:40My guest tonight
19:41is a stand-up comedian
19:42whose special My Two Sons
19:44won an NAACP Image Award.
19:46Okay, he's broke,
19:47and, um...
19:51And it's not like
19:52he's not a smart boy,
19:54because he has a CDL license,
19:56and I'm concerned,
19:57why are you broke
19:59with a CDL license?
20:00I'm very confused,
20:02because he's talking
20:03he can't find no job.
20:04I'm not even looking for a job,
20:06and I see anybody
20:08want to drive,
20:09driving over here,
20:10looking for drivers.
20:12They got all type
20:12of pictures of a drive.
20:14Do you want to do this?
20:16Like, how?
20:20Please welcome Ali Sadiq.
20:39More Muslims, huh?
20:42Thank you so much
20:43for being here with me.
20:44Oh, man,
20:44thank you for having me.
20:45Absolutely.
20:46I have to tell you
20:47that you are someone
20:49who's, like, body of work
20:51and, like, work ethic
20:54I've admired
20:54for a very long time.
20:56Like, I find you
20:56incredibly inspiring
20:58as a storyteller.
20:59Like, you made me
21:00want to tell better stories,
21:01you know?
21:02So I appreciate everything
21:04that you've done so far.
21:04I'm so excited
21:05about the things
21:06that you have coming up.
21:07Like, truly, truly, truly.
21:09I'm so glad
21:09that you're here with me.
21:10Yeah, thank you.
21:13Um, so I want to ask you,
21:16because you're someone
21:17who has created everything
21:18that you've created
21:19out of your hometown.
21:21Like, you've created
21:22out of your city.
21:23You didn't move
21:24to New York or L.A.
21:25or any of that.
21:26I wanted to hear from you
21:27of what it means to you
21:28to build everything
21:29from the ground up somewhere
21:30that maybe doesn't get
21:32as much industry looks
21:33as the two coast cities.
21:36Um, we have a long history
21:38in Houston of comedy.
21:40You know, you have Sam Kennison,
21:41you have Thea Vidal,
21:42you have Bill Hicks,
21:43you have Billy Dee Washington,
21:45you have Roushawn McDonald.
21:46So I stayed there
21:48out of, um, straight-up anger.
21:50You know, some...
21:51Yeah, yeah, yeah.
21:52No, you know,
21:53somebody told me
21:53that I had to move,
21:54and I felt like
21:55that was crazy to me
21:56that I would have
21:57to move somewhere
21:58to start doing stand-up
21:59to go somewhere else
22:00to start over.
22:01So, you know,
22:02I took that personal,
22:03and, you know,
22:04most of everything
22:04I've ever built
22:05is out of anger.
22:06Somebody say,
22:06I can't do...
22:07No, that's why
22:08I don't tell people
22:09not to get mad,
22:09you know, because, you know,
22:11misplaced anger
22:11is the problem.
22:12You know, this is
22:13very well-placed anger.
22:14I was upset
22:15that you tell me
22:15that I would have
22:16to go somewhere else.
22:17You know, just like
22:18when I got out of prison,
22:19this dude told me
22:20I would be back,
22:21and I got mad about that.
22:22Like, as a visitor,
22:24you know...
22:24Yeah.
22:25Yeah, I won't be
22:26here staying at all.
22:28It's like...
22:28This is...
22:30This is it.
22:30You see me one time.
22:34Yeah, so that's a...
22:35It's always a big thing
22:36to stay in Houston.
22:39You know, I felt like
22:40if I did so happen
22:42to make it,
22:43how would my community
22:44benefit if I was
22:45somewhere else?
22:46You know, the people
22:47who I went to school with,
22:48the people who I stay
22:49in the neighborhood with,
22:50how can you not,
22:51you know, benefit from me
22:53if I...
22:53You can't benefit me
22:54if I'm somewhere else.
22:55You have to see me
22:56in the city
22:56and then be able
22:57to take from my experience
22:58and me be able
22:59to teach.
23:00You know what I'm saying?
23:01One of my guys
23:02that I taught works here.
23:03You know, Ashton.
23:04You know, I'm a Houston guy
23:07and I was doing my thing
23:08and I would tell him
23:09how terrible he was
23:10and he got mad
23:12and then he became
23:13a writer on the show
23:14and I was so proud of him.
23:15I know.
23:16Ashton's incredible.
23:17That's right.
23:23Oh, man.
23:24And so, your special,
23:26My Two Sons,
23:27which, by the way,
23:27when you drop specials,
23:29I get very excited.
23:31I get very excited to see.
23:32When I tell you
23:33I was excited for Monday,
23:34I was telling people
23:35about Mondays,
23:36like Mondays was coming out
23:37in the theater.
23:38Like, I was literally like,
23:40hey, y'all want to go
23:41see Mondays?
23:42And then, like,
23:42where are we going to go?
23:43Like, my house?
23:44Like, it's like,
23:46it's going to be on YouTube
23:47and, like, the way
23:47that you do it,
23:48the way that you release
23:50for the people
23:51and everything
23:51and you have done everything
23:53once again yourself
23:55and you've created
23:57the platform
23:57that you have now.
23:58I mean, you winning
23:59an award
24:00for an independent special.
24:03Crazy.
24:03Yeah.
24:04Crazy.
24:10And the award
24:11is really not even for me.
24:13It's for other independents,
24:14to give them more motivation
24:15that you can actually win
24:16an award
24:17without the machine.
24:19You know,
24:19I probably never get that Emmy,
24:20you know,
24:21because that's a whole
24:21different political thing.
24:23But, you know,
24:24to win any type of award
24:26and get recognized
24:26for your work
24:27as an independent
24:28and it's incredible.
24:28Yes, yes.
24:29Absolutely.
24:31Absolutely.
24:34You also have a piece
24:35you put out
24:36from inside
24:37where you talk
24:38to current inmates,
24:40like people
24:40who are incarcerated
24:41right now.
24:41And you actually,
24:42in your spare time,
24:44go and do shows
24:45for people
24:45who are incarcerated.
24:46Yeah, you know,
24:47just to let that officer
24:48know that I'm back
24:49and I'm leaving.
24:53Come on,
24:54see you again.
24:55And it'll put it in his face.
24:57You still working, huh?
24:58Yeah.
25:00So, I go there
25:02for motivation,
25:03you know,
25:04because I need them
25:04to see somebody
25:05who is in the same condition.
25:07I'm not one of the celebrities
25:09or one of these people
25:10that go in
25:10and then you try to tell people
25:12who you've never been
25:12in any condition
25:13how they should behave
25:14or what they should do.
25:15But now you have somebody
25:17who was here,
25:18you know,
25:18that came from this space
25:19and I can tell you
25:21the steps
25:21that you're going to need
25:22to take in order
25:23to once you get out.
25:25Because the rehabilitation
25:26starts inside.
25:27You have to change
25:28whatever mindset inside
25:29because once you get out
25:31it becomes harder
25:32because now you have to be
25:33the person that you said
25:34that you were inside.
25:36You know,
25:36and I'm that exact person.
25:38You know what I'm saying?
25:39I never dealt in prison politics.
25:43You know,
25:44I wasn't trying to be here.
25:46You know,
25:46I've had, you know,
25:47you know,
25:48the first two years
25:48it was different.
25:49Okay, so let me be honest.
25:50First two years
25:51I was a wild man.
25:52Yeah.
25:53Because they gave me 15 years
25:54and I thought
25:55I was going to do all 15.
25:56I'm 19.
25:56I'm like,
25:57I'm not getting out here
25:57to 33.
25:58This is my life.
25:59And so,
26:00but then
26:00somewhere in there
26:01an older guy told me,
26:02hey man,
26:03if you change your behavior
26:05you can get out.
26:06And you have to change
26:07your mindset
26:08for when you are out.
26:09So I went on this road
26:10of trying to be
26:11more diplomatic
26:12and go back,
26:13revert back to the person
26:15that my mom and them raised.
26:16You know,
26:17I come from a good family.
26:18I was embarrassing
26:19my family
26:19by being inside.
26:21You know,
26:21when your mother
26:22works at a college
26:23she used to build computers
26:24and she was like,
26:25where your son at?
26:26Oh,
26:27he's...
26:29You know,
26:30so that's,
26:30that was a whole,
26:31that was a whole thing.
26:32So I didn't want to
26:33embarrass my family
26:34when I got out.
26:35So I changed
26:36a lot of things,
26:37you know,
26:37and I never spoke,
26:38you know,
26:40prison language.
26:41So when I got out,
26:42people didn't even know
26:42I was in prison
26:43until I said it on
26:44Ari's show in 2015.
26:46You know,
26:46I've been doing stand-up
26:47since 97.
26:48So then now,
26:49you know,
26:50I'm like the prison
26:50go-to guy,
26:51you know.
26:53But I think that
26:54the most benefit,
26:55the benefit of me
26:56is going to
26:57see those guys,
26:59letting them see my face,
27:01letting them feel my energy
27:02and understand,
27:02hey,
27:03you can't trick me
27:04in this.
27:06I'm gonna tell you
27:06exactly what you're in here
27:07doing and what you're not doing
27:08and what it's gonna take
27:10for once you get out.
27:11And once you get out,
27:12bro,
27:12you're gonna have to
27:12humble yourself.
27:13You are,
27:14because that was,
27:15you know,
27:15in comedy,
27:16I've humbled myself
27:17multiple times.
27:18I remember when D.L.
27:19told me that
27:21I was gonna have to
27:21take a back seat
27:22in order to get
27:23on the mainstream.
27:24I'm on the chitlin' circuit
27:26making plenty of money,
27:27like almost like
27:28dope money.
27:29It was crazy.
27:31It was crazy,
27:32you know what I'm saying?
27:34And then he was like,
27:36yo,
27:37Rob Stapleton
27:38was the actual person
27:39who told me first
27:39and then D.L.
27:41called me for a show
27:42and I was like,
27:43how much?
27:43He was like,
27:44$50.
27:44I was like,
27:45back seat?
27:46This is the trunk.
27:47This is the trunk.
27:49And,
27:50but going on,
27:51going on that,
27:52taking that $50,
27:53going on the mainstream
27:54has gotten me to here.
27:56You know,
27:56I've been on multiple
27:57other shows
27:58and why I went independent,
28:00really,
28:00when people ask me
28:01why I went independent,
28:02it's not a big,
28:04fascinating story.
28:05It's,
28:06I was,
28:06I did a special
28:07with Comedy Central,
28:08bigger than these bars.
28:09I took a clip
28:10and put it on my social media
28:12and they copyrighted
28:13and fringed me
28:14for my own face
28:16and then we called.
28:17I said,
28:17so I can't promote things?
28:18And they said,
28:19well,
28:19we own it.
28:20And I took that
28:21we own it
28:22as they owned me.
28:23And I was like,
28:24oh,
28:24never again.
28:25So,
28:25I just went independent.
28:32And so you're also
28:33on tour,
28:34this custom fit tour
28:35is not only international,
28:37but it's your first arena shows.
28:39Yes.
28:40Yes.
28:40That is amazing.
28:43Yeah,
28:44that is incredible.
28:45It really is.
28:46It really is.
28:48If I look back
28:49from where I started,
28:50you know,
28:50and it's like all comics
28:51start in these smaller rooms
28:53and that's the beauty of it,
28:55that all of us start
28:56in the same place
28:57and you can grow
28:57if that's what you're
28:58trying to do.
28:59You know,
28:59and it's not a disrespect
29:01to small rooms
29:02or bars
29:03or wherever you're
29:03performing at.
29:04It's just the growth
29:05of how you're marketing yourself
29:06and how many people
29:07want to come see you.
29:08So,
29:08to sell out
29:09the Chesapeake Arena
29:10in Baltimore
29:11and then add a show
29:12and hopefully that sells out,
29:15you know,
29:15and go to Europe
29:16and do all these things.
29:17I can't get into London
29:19no more.
29:19It's crazy.
29:19I've been there
29:20and they say
29:20if you've ever been convicted
29:22of a felony,
29:23you can't come back.
29:23I was like,
29:24but I've been already.
29:25I should be grandfathered in
29:26or something.
29:28that's wild.
29:29That's wild.
29:30And so,
29:30the custom fit tour,
29:32people think it's about
29:32the clothes
29:33even though,
29:34you know,
29:34it's a lot of custom outfits.
29:35I mean,
29:35they do look great.
29:37This is fantastic.
29:38This is,
29:39you know,
29:39Gucci.
29:41Brand of choice.
29:43But it's really about
29:45the people
29:45that you put around you
29:47and in your life,
29:48you're going to have
29:49to custom fit
29:50your friend circle
29:51and your business circle
29:54to what you're trying to do.
29:55You know,
29:56you can't take everybody
29:57with you
29:58and some people
29:59are going to fall off
29:59along the way.
30:00But I want to be a benefit
30:01to the people
30:02that I'm around
30:03and I want the people
30:03that surround me
30:04to be a benefit to me.
30:05Amen?
30:06So that's how it is.
30:07That was absolutely
30:08incredible.
30:09Thank you so,
30:10so much for being here
30:11with me.
30:11Truly, truly,
30:12it's an honor
30:13and it means the world
30:14to me to be able
30:14to sit with you,
30:15especially across the desks.
30:17Man, thank you.
30:18I was going to wear
30:20some like normal clothes
30:21but I see you not
30:22in your hoodie
30:22so I said,
30:23I want him to feel,
30:25I don't want him to feel,
30:27like I don't care
30:27because I'm going to wear
30:28a suit as well.
30:28I appreciate you.
30:29We both look great
30:30from the South.
30:31Absolutely.
30:33Thank you so much.
30:35Be sure to check out
30:37Ali's special
30:38My Two Sons
30:38on YouTube.
30:40The custom fit tour dates
30:42are on AliSadiq.com.
30:44Ali Sadiq, everyone.
30:45We're going to take
30:46a quick break
30:46but we'll be right back
30:47after this.
30:59That's our show
30:59for the night.
31:00Now here it is,
31:01the Moment of Zen.
31:02I want to go back
31:03to the Supreme Court
31:04ruling on the Voting Rights Act.
31:05I know you said
31:05you haven't seen it.
31:06When did it come out,
31:07just now?
31:07No, it came out this morning
31:09but basically very much
31:10narrows the Voting Rights Act.
31:12Was it considered
31:12a win for the Republicans?
31:13A win for Republicans.
31:14I love it.
31:15But my question is...
31:16This is a very good,
31:16we can end this news conference.
31:18I want to read it.
31:19Mike Barstow.
31:21Wow.
31:22Sorry.
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