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The Last Leg - Season 34 - Episode 07
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00:04Thank you for letting us be ourselves
00:38Salute a magpie, secure your mirrors and knock on your wooden leg.
00:41It's Friday the 13th, we're live, and it's time for the last leg.
00:47Tonight on the show, America and Iran trade shots.
00:50We crack open a cold one at the Winter Paralympics.
00:53And our banknotes get a refreshing spritz.
00:57Plus, we'll be joined by comedians Richard Ayoade and Michelle Wolfe on the show that
01:02always laps up the news.
01:12G'day.
01:15Hi, I'm Adam Hill.
01:17Welcome to the last leg of the show that saw this photo released today of Andrew Epstein
01:21and Mandelson and thought, that's the hardest game of shag, marry, kill ever.
01:26As always, it's the pride of Dartmoor, Josh Whittacombe, and the man who thought the
01:29Strait of Hormuz was the Middle Eastern equivalent of Queer Eye, Alex Broca.
01:39Loads to get through tonight, loads to get through, but before we do, every now and then,
01:43okay, so something happens before the show, and it happened tonight, and it always happens.
01:46When Josh and Alex come out here, I introduce them to the audience, and we always do a little
01:50bit of a fist bump.
01:51Yeah, or shake hands or whatever.
01:52And last week, we did, Josh and I did the, because we're cool middle-class, middle-aged
01:57men, aren't we?
01:58And then we got to Alex and did the fist bump, and I did, and I went, oh, you can't
02:03do it.
02:04No, no, no, I don't. I mean, mainly because, like, I am 41. Not a jock in High School Musical,
02:12but no, I can't believe, but you've been doing that to me for so long.
02:17Yeah.
02:18For so long you've been doing it, and you've only, you've only just noticed, like, you've
02:21only just noticed you're the only one that climaxes.
02:24You're such an unattentive.
02:26But no, I don't, I do kind of, I kind of, I pay, I do a little bit, it's not
02:31really an
02:32explosion, is it? It's more just a little sprinkle of, like, napalm, which is also what
02:38my Scottish mates call me, but.
02:40I mean, it all, to be honest, I mean, yeah, I felt really bad about this. I felt really
02:46bad about this.
02:46But then, look, you did feel bad, and I felt bad that you felt bad, because on the plus
02:50side, like, if you did it to Josh, and went, poof, and then you came up to me and went,
02:54eww.
02:56Fuck that.
02:58Imagine if I did that to Josh, I went, poof, and then I looked to you and went, oh, the
03:01explosion's already happened.
03:05So, I felt, so, I've had something made up for you, it's a little present here, I've
03:10had a fist made up, that when you give me a fist bump, a little explosion will happen.
03:16So, can you, all right, you ready?
03:18Okay, I hope this is going to work, ready?
03:20One, two, three.
03:21Whoa!
03:24We made the explosion.
03:29It doesn't stop.
03:31You look like you've wanked off a troll now.
03:35But, am I allowed to keep this?
03:36Yeah.
03:37I'm going to have a good, bad after this show.
03:43All right.
03:46Look, we are live, as Penny Mordaunt found out last week.
03:52So, you can send any questions you want to ask us about the news.
03:55Instagram, the hashtags, is it okay?
03:57WhatsApp, the number's 07956175908.
04:00You can scan the QR code on your screen.
04:02For example, is it okay that the Bank of England is going to replace historical figures with images
04:07of U.K. wildlife on its next series of banknotes, and it's going to let the public choose which animals?
04:14No!
04:15Because if I know the British public, those animals will be Peppa Pig, Gromit, and a fox eating a nappy
04:20out of a bin.
04:22Before you know it, all paper money will be called Notey McNoteface.
04:26So, they've gone for animals, haven't they?
04:29That's what they're going to put on.
04:30Is it basically because they're worried now with people, you don't know who's going to get cancelled anymore in the
04:35future?
04:35So, they think they're safe going with animals, but you wait until they find out that there's a squirrel named
04:41in the Epstein files.
04:45Nigel Farage spoke out about that this week, and a lot of people have, blaming Wokery or PC gone mad,
04:50but the truth is, there was a public consultation.
04:5360% of people chose wildlife, and Nigel Farage should know, you have to respect the will of the people.
04:59Lib Dem leader Ed Davey was also up in arms, although his message seemed more accidentally comedic.
05:05Winston Churchill helped save our country and the whole of Europe from fascism.
05:11He deserves better than being replaced by a badger.
05:20Guys, the next bit is, replace him with two badgers.
05:24In a long coat, like they're going to the cinema.
05:28Look, it's not like Winston Churchill's being erased from history.
05:31He's still remembered by the war rooms, the statue in Parliament Square, the dog in the adverts.
05:38Look, we thought we'd do something different tonight.
05:40We've got a comedian and illustrator of the best-selling Adam Kay books, Henry Packer here, and he's going to
05:45draw a banknote throughout the show tonight.
05:49Henry, thank you so much for being here.
05:50Absolute pleasure.
05:51Can we start, though, with my suggestion, a quick illustration of a fox eating a nappy out of a bin?
05:57OK. A fox eating a nappy out of a bin? OK. Let's do it.
06:03So, start with the nose. This is a classic UK fox.
06:07Yep.
06:09OK, so that's the gob.
06:11Oh, this has changed into a very different show, hasn't it?
06:14The triangular ears, the key feature.
06:17Well, that is a good fox, isn't it?
06:19And the nappy.
06:19Yep.
06:20So, it's out of a bin. Right, so, as an illustrator, we tend to go for the old-school bins.
06:25It's the, um...
06:28Oh, lovely. Yeah, I'll put it on there.
06:30It's a classic, yeah.
06:32So, a soiled nappy?
06:34Yeah, of course.
06:36Who throws out a clean nappy?
06:39Fair do. Level of soiling?
06:41Oh, no.
06:45Oh, Brooker on a Saturday morning.
06:48Brooker on a Saturday night, OK.
06:50OK, so that's a really, really deeply heavy soil.
06:53Yeah, perfect, lovely.
06:54There's some dripping going down the side of the bin.
06:55OK, um...
06:56Right, so the fox...
06:58OK, oh, yes, for the fox, um...
07:00Do you want it on a stepladder?
07:02To be, um...
07:04To be able to reach the...
07:05Or high heels, that's the choice.
07:07Well, can it be both?
07:09I've never done that before, but let's try it, yeah.
07:11So, the front legs are on a stepladder.
07:14Yeah.
07:14Imagine people just tuning in, thinking,
07:16Alex Brooker's got better, ain't he?
07:20OK, we've got the classic tail, obviously.
07:23Yep, lovely.
07:23And the rear legs in a nice pair of, um...
07:29Nice, quite sexy...
07:30Oh, lovely, yep.
07:32Sexy high heels.
07:34And, um...
07:35Just as an illustrator, I'm legally bound, if I draw a bin,
07:38to draw a, uh...
07:39fish skeleton...
07:41sticking out of it, and a banana skin in the foreground.
07:44Also, here's just some shit UK weather.
07:49And, um...
07:50Yeah.
07:51There you go.
07:53That's...
07:53I mean, for me, that's the fiver.
07:55Oh, right.
08:02Throughout the show, Henry's gonna be creating a pound note
08:05based on, uh, whatever we talk about in the show, basically.
08:08Yep.
08:08Whatever comes up, it's gonna go on the note.
08:10Um...
08:10Thank you, Henry.
08:11Alright, let's get into the big story now.
08:13Joe said,
08:13Is it okay that the chaotic war has continued between US, Israel and Iran?
08:17Good luck, Henry.
08:22Uh...
08:22This week, America and Israel continued to take Iran and Lebanon.
08:26Meanwhile, Iran fired missiles at everything in sight.
08:28It kind of feels like Iran right now is basically the kid at school
08:32in a fight who just does this.
08:34To try and take everyone out.
08:36It's really hard to do without hitting the desk.
08:38Um...
08:39Iran are hoping they can cause enough disruption to the world's energy supplies
08:42that they can stop America and Israel from attacking them.
08:45Now, they can do this because 20% of the world's oil and gas supplies
08:49pass through something called the Strait of Hormuz,
08:51which is right below Iran.
08:53Supposed to...
08:53Oh, sorry, Josh.
08:54Isn't that just the start of EastEnders?
08:59Yes.
09:00You know what's interesting?
09:01As the bombs fell last week, they went...
09:02BOOM! BOOM!
09:05Oh, yes!
09:11APPLAUSE
09:11So, what I found out this week is basically,
09:13so, for the ships, the ships that are getting through...
09:16Yep.
09:16Basically, the way they're getting through to avoid being hit by Iranian missiles,
09:20what they're saying is, is that they're saying they're from China.
09:23Right.
09:23So, basically, it's like, it's the right for them to pretend to be Chinese,
09:26but, Josh, you did it once when we went out for that meal,
09:28and we got...
09:28Yeah, yeah, yeah.
09:29Don't draw that!
09:31LAUGHTER
09:34It's kind of mad to go to war with someone who controls something you need to survive.
09:38That's like starting an argument with the anaesthetist right before an operation.
09:41And I still regret it.
09:44Honey went in for an ingranto now.
09:47LAUGHTER
09:47Well, to be fair, you haven't got one now.
09:50LAUGHTER
09:54Petrol prices in America have jumped 20% since the start of the war.
09:58Donald Trump is clearly spooked.
10:00Watch this enlightening clip.
10:01The President subtly deflecting the blame for attacking Iran
10:04while throwing his mates under a bus that's now 20% more expensive to refuel.
10:08LAUGHTER
10:09In my opinion, based on what Steve and Jared and Pete and others were telling me,
10:16Marko was so involved that I thought that they were going to attack us.
10:22It's...
10:22It sounds like so playground, doesn't it?
10:25Like he started a war based on gossip.
10:28It's like, yes, Jared's gone up to him and gone,
10:29by the way, Donald, um, the Isle of Toller reckons he can have you.
10:33LAUGHTER
10:33Also, he says you drive a girl... you ride a girl's bike.
10:36LAUGHTER
10:37Yeah, I mean, World War I may have started with the assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand.
10:40World War III might start because of Jared Stephen Peat.
10:44LAUGHTER
10:46There's three guys in your chat group whose videos you don't want to open at work.
10:49LAUGHTER
10:49Or they're the three presenters of the Australian Last League.
10:53LAUGHTER
10:53And you're still bitter about them getting the job on you.
10:56LAUGHTER
10:56I, when I heard this clip, I heard something different to everyone else.
10:59Yep.
10:59I think he's blaming the war on former Liverpool captain Stephen Gerrard.
11:05LAUGHTER
11:05Look, watch again.
11:06OK.
11:06I've watched it quite a lot today.
11:08Yep.
11:08My opinion, based on what...
11:11Steve and Jared...
11:13LAUGHTER
11:18I'm just saying it.
11:20Do you know what?
11:20Jamie Carragher was in his ear.
11:22LAUGHTER
11:24Stefan Honsho was giving him all that.
11:27LAUGHTER
11:28The war of memes continued this week.
11:30The White House released this truly tasteless video
11:32that made the war look like a game on Nintendo Wii.
11:35What?
11:55TheOC.
11:57K.
11:57Cosplay.
11:59Huh?
12:01Helen.
12:01Oh-
12:06right and it's not accurate because if it was he would have let go of the
12:09bowling ball and hit the school next door Iran have hit back actually we've
12:14one that's depicted Mario Kart but obviously Princess Peach isn't allowed
12:17to drive Iran did actually hit back with their own homemade Lego video this is I'm
12:23not making this up this is what they put out this explains why they think Donald
12:27Trump started the war they are totally winning the UK are also planning a video
12:45of their own but it's going to take four years for Aardman Studios to make it out
12:48of clay but it's going to be the best one oh my can't can't wait for Wallace and
12:54Gromot the wrong targets so everyone's asking what's the end game for Donald
13:02Trump what are they hoping to achieve out of all of this this is a thing though not
13:05any time in history when when you go into the Middle East like when there's war
13:09and these wars are not over quickly yeah no one ever goes into the Middle East
13:13for a quick one it's like a beer garden you know Middle East it's like a beer
13:18garden you know you go in there you say you have one it escalates always escalates
13:22and before you know it someone's like shots Jager bombs
13:28yeah was there in a third no I'll be honest with you it was a little bit sunny earlier and
13:36I was
13:36just thinking about beer garden before you know it the Strait of Hormuz is backed up the US military
13:43have reportedly the US military have been using an AI model known as Claude to speed up the process of
13:50choosing targets so what does it talk to them like when I talk to chat GPT I'm assuming yeah you
13:56think
13:56you're bottoming bombing the Middle East that sounds like an excellent idea so it's so people that the
14:03madness is a US using it yeah using AI to choose military targets yes at the same time as people
14:09are using AI to choose a present for Mother's Day yep imagine if they got confused and they just started
14:16bath bombing Iran why is the Strait of Hormuz covered in glitter and petals how long were you in that
14:24beer
14:24garden image of someone going Alexa take out the Ayatollah and it's like did you say kill the Dalai
14:31Lama no Alexa no sorry to everyone at home whose Alexa has just gone off and the Dalai Lama on
14:38Sunday
14:39Iran announced they had chosen a new supreme leader Mojtaba Khamenei who will be taking over from his
14:43late father although there are now reports he may have been injured in the attack that killed his
14:47father might even be in a coma so we're hoping he doesn't wake up and say hello my name is
14:52Mojtaba
14:52Khamenei you killed my father prepare to die he released a statement this week which prompted the
14:58telegraph to run with the headline Mojtaba Khamenei has called for Iranian unity but he may not be
15:02alive this whole war might come down to whether we run out of oil before they run out of Ayatollahs
15:08who do you reckon's next they're gonna get through them I've got an idea mm-hmm there's someone who's
15:13he's looking for a new royal title it doesn't mind hot places because he doesn't sweat he has to keep
15:25moving exactly you know his nickname the Ayatollah of Partiola by the way it was also revealed this
15:32week the new Ayatollah owns various properties across London they're currently available to rent
15:36on surface to Airbnb and from Ayatollah to loves a dollar Donald Trump has been handing out his
15:43favorite brand of affordable dress shoes to his aides and officials and a lot of them are apparently
15:48reportedly afraid not to wear them in front of him look there they are putting the bro into brogues
15:55has anyone wondered whether this might be like Cinderella and Trump has actually danced with
16:01a beautiful senator at a party and he's just trying to find out who wore the shoe and in fairness
16:06he's
16:07already turning into a pumpkin I'm looking forward to when he starts handing out his bronzer
16:14and then goes can I recommend a barber guys meanwhile the defense attache to the UAE has made the media
16:20this week mainly because of his name this is a lovely image of the sandy-haired military leader known as
16:26Captain Sandy Sandylands which sounds like he's been named by the British public the thing with Sandy Sandylands is once
16:35you have a bit of
16:36him somewhere you just can't get rid of him can you well we loved the idea of Sandy Sandylands and
16:41it
16:42turns out he's a slight fan of the last leg because we've been in contact and he's on a zoom
16:46chat with
16:47us now so hello is he frozen yes he has frozen that's not him but he has frozen oh has
16:55he Sandy Sandylands are
16:59you there no this does not all go well for our military technology he might have another call
17:06coming in in fairness to you know when you know when we said Aardman would be looking after the
17:11British technology it does feel we're going at a slower pace than that I'm not gonna say I'm worried
17:16right now but we're trying to connect with a British military officer in the Middle East and I just heard
17:20in my ear he's completely gone I think he's fine I think this to be very clear this isn't a
17:26sketch
17:26we genuinely were trying to get in contact it now feels like we're playing a prank yeah it turns
17:32out he's downloading a movie at the same time let's move on and welcome tonight's guests one of them
17:38tries not to laugh the other one will make it how please welcome Richard Ayoati and Michelle Wolfe
17:57welcome sir welcome to you both um all right Michelle I'm going to throw it at you you're
18:01American what do you make of all this that's gone on in the in the Middle East and Iran and
18:04everything and Donald Trump uh well I just uh everyone says that Trump has uh dementia and I
18:10just I was wondering if he could get more of it not enough dementia happening does not I don't think
18:15he
18:15has enough he's he he seems to really remember who he's angry with yeah and uh now we're at war
18:22with
18:22Iran which could last a very long time it I mean these wars are never quick this war could go
18:28on for
18:28so many years that Trump wouldn't want to have sex with it anymore and now now we're you know we're
18:38supposed to trust our leaders and you can't trust Trump with anything you can't trust him with ordering
18:44an appetizer or picking the music or what fruit is ripe you can't hey does that taste good hey does
18:54this look good you couldn't trust him with real estate or spray tan or makeup coverage and now he's
19:02sitting next to the nuclear codes and I think the only thing more alarming is if you went to your
19:07secondary school and Andrew was there the whole world's being affected obviously petrol people
19:13are stocking up on petrol Richard are you stockpiling anything I mean I'd be looking to uh stockpile
19:19cravats because you know I I want to remain sport it's very it's hard enough to get a good dry
19:26cleaner
19:27in peacetime so and these things they're delicate they're very delicate so you can hand wash them but
19:34they'll fade you know I need to maintain standards someone's got to look like a Columbo villain
19:42after the apocalypse have you ever worn anything uh purely because someone gave it to you this has
19:48been taken from a military dictator hopefully I'll be able to travel there immediately after this
19:54joke works itself out
20:00now we didn't get to talk to Sandy Sandlin which is a shame no no but you've come up you've
20:05come up with
20:06the game based on his name yeah in honor of in honor of Sandy so we were we were inspired
20:11by Sandy Sandlin so
20:12we came up with our own name our own game which is about nominative determinisms so we're of course
20:17calling it that job's my name that job's my name that job's my name that job's my name
20:35okay the gameplay is simple we're going to show you a job and a name and these are real or
20:41fake people
20:42you have to tell us whether this person really does the job to lock the answers in we've given
20:47you very simple props if you think it's true put on the trilby of truth Brooke will show you that
20:53yep there you go you basically just hang on a second just put it on like that really yeah and
20:58if you think it's false put on the fedora of false
21:00sorry I love that you went I might need to explain how to wear a hat
21:05put that on heelsy put that on heelsy okay you go there's a fedora and whoever door a full slag
21:10oh look
21:11at that look at that there you go lie me that's the most australian man i've ever seen in my
21:17life
21:18now there is a mystery prize for the winner here's a mystery prize here it is there it is
21:24let's unveil it's not much of a mystery it's a box
21:28let's unveil the first name brooker read out is there a urologist called dr dick chop
21:39i've seen this urologist
21:42i can tell you the answer is it's true
21:45i feel like that hat looked better on me than i thought it would
21:54it's the president of the royal horticultural society called tim flowers
22:02i mean
22:05they're taking it more seriously than i thought alex
22:07i've got to say a lot of these are guesses yeah i i would also i feel like there's a
22:12guy
22:12named tim flowers that would love to work with flowers but he doesn't wow i can tell you the answer
22:18is
22:18it's this is false it is false again but he is called keith weed
22:24right that's also a urologist
22:27i like the way you made the joke and then flip the hat
22:36next one i can't demonstrate that right then is there a man who runs a temp agency called steve jobs
22:46i thought he was dead
22:49true
22:52it's false
22:54but i can tell you i don't know if you know this uh he did used to run a company
22:57called apple
22:58come on
22:59you've heard of it
23:00final one one steve jobs is there
23:03another urologist called dr burns cox there it is
23:08okay wow i want to burn scott be true about how i feel about men a lot of times
23:14but i think it's false oh it's to decide i mean i put on the wrong hat
23:17i mean i put on the wrong hat well how can i
23:19well actually i think we for the gameplay do you want to choose a different hat
23:23they're not both of you then you
23:25no
23:29well i can tell you the answer is i'll go with the true
23:32correct
23:33you are our winner and you win your prize which is a special pair of donald trump's shoes
23:40oh don't worry michelle you are not the only winner because everyone gets a shoe here we go
23:46go on josh you get a shoe you get a shoe please don't try the lady in a wheelchair josh
23:51please don't
23:52throw wheelchairs at the table keep going here we go you get a shoe we'll have more last week for
23:58you after the break as we check out the action of the winter paralympics and we finally get to
24:02talk to sandy sanderson who i believe sandy sandalins who i believe is back on the line we'll see in
24:07a
24:07little bit
24:21welcome back to last leg we're joined by michelle wolf and richard ioharty
24:25uh we have got in contact with uh sandy sandylands uh in the ua a defense attache to the uae
24:32come in
24:32sandy sandy land yes hey adam how are you
24:37thank you for joining us what has your fame been like this week it's been bonkers mate honestly um
24:44the uh the reaction to the to the x feed that the embassy put out has just been um been
24:49crazy seven
24:50seven million views you know i just hope that half of those actually listen to the message but most of
24:54them were uh um were interested in the name and uh and the location so yeah i i am the
25:00sandy in the
25:01sandy desert in uh in the uae and sandy is a nickname because uh it's normal in the army to
25:07give people
25:07nicknames are there other famous nicknames around you i think i think the one that stands out for me
25:13is the guy called jock stirrup so jock strap who was the the most senior guy in the military and
25:19what
25:19i quite admire about him is a lot of guys when they get senior they start you know steve becomes
25:23steven
25:23and all that but this guy went right to the very top of the military in there and stuck with
25:26jock
25:27trap so i like that uh and listen how do you think alex brooker would go in the military
25:32oh that's interesting isn't it i was watching last week and uh and i saw his kind of shower
25:36chair so we have a unit called the mobile bath and shower unit or we used to have in the
25:41pioneer
25:41corps so maybe he could bring his bachelor along to that but actually thinking about it if he's
25:45going to serve in the military then you've got to kind of go through go through it all and not
25:49bottle it and as an arsenal fan i'm not convinced he can do that
25:55sorry sandy we're losing you sorry mate um
25:58oh it's got my internet again doesn't it yeah
26:02so all my mates call me handy handelands anyway
26:05good luck out there thanks very much for joining us sandy sanderland
26:14uh moving on jemma said is it okay that peter mandelson still has his lordship
26:18uh so documents were released this week that led to questions about due diligence shown by the
26:23prime minister when he appointed peter mandelson as ambassador to the u.s despite
26:26mandelson's friendship with jeffrey epstein turns out the vetting process had all the rigor of bbc's
26:31eye player when it says do you have a tv license i've got away with that one before
26:37uh yeah what would have stopped him getting the job being friends with two pedos sorry it says
26:43specifically criteria friends with one pedo or less sorry i kissed armor apologize for the
26:49appointment but if his vetting process could be represented by video it would be this famous
26:53one of a tottenham security guard any links to epstein no go through any links to epstein no go
27:01through any links to epstein yeah yeah you're right i absolutely loved your impression there
27:12but alex you said something on the show a couple of weeks ago that i think might be true
27:15because whoa whoa whoa whoa
27:19mom can you record this him of truth could he have appointed at the trilby of truth on brooker
27:26he's a possibly appointed mandelson to keep trump on side because basically epstein jeffrey epstein
27:31said supposedly quote donald trump doesn't have a decent cell in his body which would suggest
27:36epstein knew some shit about trump and if peter mandelson was friends with epstein then he
27:40probably knew some shit about trump too so maybe like you said send a wrong and to deal with a
27:45wrong and honestly in a couple of weeks you're going to be comparing the war in the middle east
27:49going in the beer garden mandelson apparently asked for just 500 000 pounds when he eventually
27:56was sacked but settled for 75 000 which makes him the worst negotiator ever i just want to get out
28:02one
28:02tiny pun yeah because we had sandy lance yeah is that uh he instead of mandelson he should be kidding
28:09kiddelson it's not a good pun the whole time i always thought mandelson kiddelson kiddelson right
28:19and i've been thinking about it the whole time you were talking i had to get it out of my
28:25body
28:27i'm sorry many people around mandelson have said similar things
28:33you that's the whole point you set up richard and he can dunk
28:39also no sorry
28:43i love the way you're also both mirroring body language and green trousers together we're trying
28:49to out defensive one another how sandy were his curtains by the way he was hamming it up
28:56that guy baiton came with a club act yeah the tightest three minutes i've ever seen from the military
29:02i mean i've never seen camouflage looks work so well yeah yeah i mean he was basically the curtain
29:10we actually had him on before we just couldn't see him
29:14let's jump into the winter paralympics now steve said is it okay that after two fourth places
29:18neil simpson and his guide rob poth uh bring home silver yes it bloody is for gb here's the medal
29:23moment
29:26come on neil simpson one last drive into the finish he goes into the lead but by how much
29:32four point nine six seconds oh that was fabulous 42.52 on that slalom run
29:46it's worth explaining what's happening there yeah so like he's being guided that so the guy in the
29:52front is his guide so the guy's visually impaired neil simpson's visually impaired he's being guided
29:57basically by the guy with a blue tooth headset on in front of him he's basically probably going like
30:00left a bit right i mean i don't know the exact terminology yeah yeah i didn't know you're an
30:05expert bro what did he say if they want to go to the other side right a bit oh bloody
30:10hell
30:10but that is like the ultimate trust like i i couldn't trust any of my mates to do that
30:18that just began left only about it's a tree also you need to trust your bluetooth you don't want
30:24that to drop out halfway down and get to the bottom halfway down the hill and you just hear
30:30go on um best impression of spotify i've ever heard uh shout out to nina sparks by the way the
30:38first
30:38british female para snowboarder um and also davy jive the first snow sport winter paralympian with
30:44motor neurone disease uh davy said was i fastest down the course today absolutely not but my race and
30:50battle is with mnd and today i'm winning that race well done davy uh gb in australia currently have one
31:03silver medal each but australia also have a bronze uh meanwhile the italian para ice hockey team released
31:08this brilliant clip of their training regime
31:33it's so interesting that in italy that's training but in britain that's a pip test
31:40uh jimmy's curlers didn't make it to the medal podium but they did provide us with some of the
31:43best self-commentary of the games
31:47right out there like mine's good walker's got the weight though joe how do you feel
31:53i love the dynamic between these two feels like i throw it like a bag of milk
32:01we've got those two on the line now so please welcome jason keene and joe butterfield
32:11no we don't not again oh sandy sandalums is gonna pop back i have done this show via skype as
32:18well
32:21it's an hour to be fair to these guys they are at the winter paralympics so it's not surprising
32:25they're frozen we've got them we've got them jason and joe hello
32:33alex you want to jump straight in with a question yeah jason i just got like main question is like
32:39what do you mean by like how many bags of milk have you thrown in your life i've never heard
32:44that phrase
32:44wait a minute i'll just explain it's not that it's not the curling stone that's a bag of milk
32:49it's actually jason it is me i am the bag of milk because as you can see from many of
32:55the videos i am
32:56a rather large portion so with my break being high so i'm paralyzed from the armpits down so whenever
33:04i don't throw it well then it comes out almost like a bag of milk so me coach he like
33:11named it
33:12there he was like keep a hold of your stabilizer properly throw it strong pieces and stop throwing
33:17it like a bag of milk so when i let that stone go i was like threw it like a
33:21bag of milk turned
33:22out it was a pretty good stone to be honest uh and joe of course you were in rio as
33:28well you won gold
33:29in in rio in the summer paralympics how does this one compare well not quite as good as that since
33:34we
33:34didn't get gold but you know um it's a bit different the winter games is probably a bit more of
33:40a
33:40family it's kind of a smaller group of people and they've got a bit of a more of a bit
33:44of a culture
33:44going on um but other than that it's pretty similar and jason as your first paralympic games how are you
33:49finding it it would have been a hell of a lot better to get a bit of a bit of
33:54metal around the neck
33:55like that was the plan um but as an experience it's absolutely mental and like coming in like
34:02look at this do i look like an athlete next thing you know come on you're going off to the
34:07paralympics
34:08you've managed to make the grid somehow it's been unbelievable lately and uh it seems a shame
34:13that it's coming to an end and it's a shame that it came to an end a bit early for
34:16as well
34:17and are you aiming for four years time now hopefully yeah that's the plan like it's it's pretty special
34:24in the paralympic games we don't normally get to compete in front of a crowd and the noise in the
34:28arena in at the curling stadium there was insane the italians have done a good job so to come back
34:33four years time critical excellent well get out there get training and maybe next time you'll
34:37throw it like a semi-skimmed bag of milk just like a bottle of milk will do because if he
34:43starts solid
34:47round of applause for you guys enjoy the rest of your time there
34:52we'll have more last thing for you after the break as we unveil this week's mystery guests we'll see
35:07in a little bit welcome back to last leg we're joined by michelle wolf and richard aiwati uh michelle
35:14of course you're off on tour this summer yes the name of the tour best job in the world best
35:18job
35:18in the world oh my god i had so much hair oh that was before i had a baby i
35:24had so much hair look at
35:26this i look like a little boy get peter mandelson away from me
35:34and this just occurred to me you didn't end up being a wolf yes so in terms of nominated determinism
35:40no i mean how disappointing is that yeah i could have been a wolf and i'm a little boy instead
35:47it's good for peter mandelson but well but if you were together with peter mandelson you'd be peter
35:52and the wolf so oh thank you uh in that might be my favorite joke that's everyone was so impressed
36:01they didn't laugh yeah get your own out in medical news this week a uh surgeon in london has performed
36:08the uk's first long-distance robotic operation on a patient who was 1500 miles away in gibraltar
36:14uh here's some graphic graphic footage of the operation a historic moment 2400 kilometers away
36:25unbelievable we used a robot and a very specialized connection between london to gibraltar
36:34didn't fail at all the time delay between the two sides 60 milliseconds
36:42we need to get him on this wi-fi
36:47throw out your zoom
36:50bet you he's great on them grabber machines in the arcade
36:54just got a house full of the boo-boos
36:57it's impressive but if you are the patient and they go we're going to try a historic thing on you
37:02i'd go
37:03no i want my operation to be done i don't i yeah you can do it i don't want you
37:09to do it though
37:10the patient described it as a no-brainer which is ironic because it was a prostate removal
37:15that's not a joke oh yeah i would they have they're doing robotic prostate removals i just
37:21want them to do one thing for women's health just one thing like a better tampon or
37:26to act like endometriosis
37:33like diagnose women correctly tell them don't be like you're just whiny no it's a
37:39real there's fibroids filling my body we can't get the robots to do that
37:47it is appropriate that it was a prostate removal because um gibraltar is very much the prostate of
37:52spain um well no by that i mean it's it's hidden away at the bottom no one knows why it's
37:56there but
37:57it's a lot of fun to visit on holiday
38:02uh in ai news a woman from florida asked her chat gpt this week to suggest a place to live
38:09based on amenities that she put in that she was looking for she's now planning to move to torquay
38:13in devon yes because that's where it told her to go rightly so ai has finally reached peak intelligence
38:21i love this this florida woman is going to go there and she's going to she's going to see the
38:26sea
38:26there which is going to be very different from florida and she's going to be like is this where
38:31world war ii happened looks like the movies am i in dunkirk and look you might think florida is
38:39different to torquay but mar-a-lago is a lot like the hotel in faulty towers they're both owned by
38:44shouty
38:44dictatorial men who have zero people skills and don't get on with their wives although mar-a-lago has
38:49slightly more mentions of the war uh all right it's time to bring on this week's mystery guest
38:52michelle and richard have to work out how they're connected to the news can we have the mystery
38:55guest please
39:08so this is glenn glenn was in the news this week because he's going for his 18th world championship
39:14but what is it in can we have the dramatic lighting change please
39:21is it in being the quickest person to eat 80 grams of watercress being the man with the mintiest breath
39:29or being the person who can fit the most basil in their ears and nose
39:35um have a look at him have a discuss we will reveal the mystery guest after the break we'll also
39:42win the show by going head to head team with him in a challenge we'll see you in a little
39:46bit
39:59welcome back to last leg we're joined by michelle walton richard aiwati now before the break we
40:03challenged our guest to work out how this person was connected to the news can we have the options
40:07again please so glenn has been in the news because he's going for his 18th world championship but is it
40:14in being the quickest person to eat 80 grams of watercress is it being the man with the mintiest breath
40:20or is it c being the person who can fit the most basil in their ears and nose the floor
40:28is yours oh i like that
40:30yes well 80 grams feels a very specific amount with all due respect to the team i don't think they
40:40would have thought up and when when you say the team i need to point out it's josh and alex
40:49that come
40:49up with this yeah that's what i meant by the team so how very dare you i very dare and
40:58all of these are
40:58excellent album titles but i yeah i would say um 80 grams is very specific i it's just he doesn't
41:09look
41:09like he eats a lot of lettuce 80 grams isn't a huge amount okay i need an answer well you
41:18say you need
41:19an answer i think we need to discuss it for another 10 minutes we can i'm most concerned about the
41:26belly
41:26button on the t-shirt yeah okay we need an answer let me put it another way oh and now
41:32we've seen his
41:33all the class final answer well final answer uh it was cress okay i haven't even run that by yes
41:41yes yes
41:42glenn what is the truth i am as 17 times watercress eating champion
41:57where's your other 17 trophies so you've won and i'll give it back every year you get into it
42:04oh it's back in 2002 orsford where i come from uh started the festival to celebrate the spring
42:10where they get the first crop of watercress rugby boys do all the parking and helping out
42:16we decided after a while we got a bit bored in the afternoon after playing cock and ball and then
42:22uh
42:23we haven't got time we haven't got time that's not a world championship you want to win
42:29anyway we just saw we've got all this green stuff what we're going to do with it i said we've
42:32had a
42:32few beers let's try and eat as much as we can so you can eat the most of it didn't
42:37end up well
42:38that's it puking up and figures next day as well after a few more beers honestly um let's put it
42:46this
42:46well i wasn't constipated in fact i had a ring piece like a dragon's nostril oh okay um what does
42:52it what does it take to be a good a good cress eater is that a cresser yeah what do
42:57you need what
42:58do you what do you need to be a good well because it's peppery and horrible in a sense like
43:02that
43:03um i think having a big hands and a big bob get it down there quick and get rid of
43:10it and that's why i
43:11have the old guinness afterwards just get rid of it oh how many other people are you competing against
43:17this is worldwide you know we'll tell you what we're going to end the show by competing
43:21against they do they do heats okay we're going to have a conversation at the end of the show glenn
43:25thank you so much for being here we'll see you in a minute because we're going to have a conversation
43:33uh let's check in with henry packer who uh has been designing uh a pound note a 10 pound note
43:39i
43:39believe uh throughout the show based on what's gone on in the show yes indeed yes so yeah this is
43:44um
43:44sort of oh wow look at that actually would you two mind holding this thank you so i can um
43:49can you explain i can talk you through it okay yeah so um yeah quite a lot going on we've
43:52got um
43:53donald trump here um using a wee controller to control the war yep now he's on a sofa at
43:58home by himself i've depicted him with with quite weak legs um which is satire
44:07but of course it's actually more even more sinister than it looks
44:09because uh donald trump himself is being puppeted by stephen gerrard
44:16um i've got here we've got sandy sandylands part one that's sandy sandylands that's him um
44:21camouflaged against the persons um here we've got uh we've got hilsey as a as a as a kangaroo um
44:28with in your pouch you've got um got brooker and josh there and your feet feeding alex with uh with
44:35milk
44:36um and just sort of ruffling josh's hand it's quite a sweet and slightly sinister image at the same
44:41time yeah um then we've got sandy sandals part two this is a more realistic take uh just i was
44:48fascinated by how low down his camera was um and uh and yes and then on the nominative determinism theme
44:56um i've tried it for everyone for the whole cast tonight so we've got alex brooker here who's in a
45:01brook
45:04which is quite clever um we've got uh uh yeah we've got hills here as a hill yeah there you
45:11go
45:11with one leg which is actually more than the average hill so you're doing really well there we've got
45:14uh michelle wolf they sort of sort of hermit henry i'm afraid we have to wrap it up go through
45:20really
45:20quickly and we've got rich hard so you're i picked you as rich there's money there's money you've got
45:25one of those hot taps instead of a kettle because you're rich yes you're also ripped and you're hard
45:29so the hot tap is actually going onto your onto your arms and you're fine with it because you're
45:32rich and hard okay we need second name thank you so much didn't have time we're going to win the
45:37show
45:37with the quest eating contest thank you henry but before we do would you please thank our guest michelle
45:41wolf richard iowati and henry packer and my co-host josh witticum and alex brooker
45:54we'll be back next week with social media star gk barry and comedian jack d but right now it's time
45:59for this
46:11to live the grass yeah better than all the rest better than anything
46:30all right we're doing this we've got cress in front of you you've got to beat the world champion what's
46:37your best time 25.5 25.5 seconds three two one go
46:44all right
47:13oh
47:15Oh my goodness, is Michelle going to win?
47:19I'm going to be honest, I think Michelle has done this.
47:30Of course, you know what you're doing.
47:32You know what you're doing.
47:42There you go.
47:43You're right, Michelle.
47:44Thanks for watching The Last League.
47:46My name's Adam Hills.
47:46See you next week for The Next League.
48:02The Last League is the best question.
48:12Better than all the rest, better than anyone.
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