- 11 hours ago
The Last Leg - Season 34 - Episode 05
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:03What a damn song, thank you for lettin' us be ourselves
00:06So don't mind me if I repeat myself
00:09These simple lines be good for your health
00:11Keep them trying when I'm gonna show
00:14Live love life like you just don't care
00:16But I believe it's never scared
00:18Rain and noise is the moment they fear
00:20Get up, sell a bill from right there
00:23Get up, throw your hands in the air
00:25Get up, we'll share no way
00:39Grab your pencil, vote with your feet
00:41And try not to leave your leg in the polling booth
00:43It's Friday, we're live and it's time for The Last Leg
00:48Tonight on the show we'll check out the results from Gorton and Denton
00:52Review the fallout from Clinton and Clinton
00:55And preview the Paralympics in Milan and Cortina
00:58Plus we'll be joined by comedians Jason Manford, Lou Sanders and Bella Hull
01:02And leader of the Green Party, Zach Polanski
01:05On the show that always jumps headfirst into the news
01:18G'day, I'm Adam Hills
01:19Welcome to The Last Legs, the show that read the headline Green Wave
01:22And thought, what have Thames water dumped in the sea this time
01:24With me as always are the pride of Dartmoor, Josh Whittacombe
01:27And the man who thought by election is what you're meant to say when you leave the polling booth
01:30Alex Brooker
01:39We'll bring you all the fallout of Gorton and Denton in a sec
01:41Before we get to that though, Emily said
01:43Is it okay that Josh is on the front cover of Runners World magazine this week?
01:48I assumed that was a joke
01:49I thought it was a joke
01:51And then I saw this
01:55This is weird
01:56But that, why are you laughing?
01:58Because I'm on the cover of Runners World magazine because I'm a runner
02:02It's my favourite thing you've ever done
02:04Because like, let's be honest, I'm sure you feel this way
02:07But like, we've known you for 14 years
02:10Yeah
02:10And I've always seen you as like more disabled than me
02:15And this, I love it
02:17This is like you're going, no
02:18I am the able-bodied one
02:20I'm going to show you
02:21I'm going to crouch down
02:22I'm going to balance on the floor with my long fingers
02:27I love it
02:28I had to crouch down because look, otherwise I wouldn't have been on the cover
02:31I'd have just
02:35What I love most about you is even on the front cover of a running magazine
02:38You still kind of give off the vibes of like
02:40You know a kid that forgot his PE kit
02:44I mean, there are other photos inside that are just as remarkable
02:48There's this one
02:49Again
02:51There he is
02:51Look how I can stretch my real foot and point it upwards
02:55That's an action shot
02:57That's how I run
02:59And then there's this one
03:02Again, that one's quite sexy, isn't it?
03:05Look how I can tie up my shoes
03:06Fuck your Velcro
03:10If you look at all three together, it forms a little story of its own
03:15It's like, I've lost my contact lens
03:17Don't worry, I've found my glasses
03:19Now let's go for a run
03:21I'm really worried about you
03:22You've given up booze
03:23You've moved to the country
03:23You've taken up running
03:24You're two months away from being on the cover of this
03:32Your issue was out on Wednesday, though, right?
03:35Yes
03:36Did you not know that?
03:37No
03:37Your issue was out on Wednesday
03:38Oh, I can't wait
03:39I'm going to go out and buy it
03:42Sorry, I didn't know
03:43Is it not out?
03:45It was in the script
03:46I didn't know what was going on
03:51I'm pretty much anchorman at this point
03:52If it said talk to you see out, I'll repeat it
03:56Let's have a look at Josh's athletic prowess in action on a recent run, though
04:00I'm going to say
04:01Oh, my God
04:03Is you okay?
04:04Yeah, I'm fine
04:05No, it's number seven
04:06No, it's number seven
04:09Like I said
04:09I'm good at running
04:10I'm not good at walking
04:12Like I said, I've always seen you as more disabled than me
04:15Also, it's good to know
04:17That when you get hurt
04:17What happens?
04:18Healsy asked if I was okay
04:20Yeah
04:20And Brooker just laughed
04:22Virginia, if somebody had said
04:24Right, one of the three in the last leg has fallen over
04:27You'd never get me
04:30Look, we think it's time you get into the trainer market, though
04:32Uh, Josh Whittacombe trainers
04:35Michael Jordan's got his own trainers
04:36With the Jumpman
04:37With this logo
04:37The iconic basketball logo
04:39So I think maybe you could have the tripping man
04:41It could look like this
04:44In fact, we've even made up a pair of sneakers with that
04:47Oh, look at that
04:48They are cool, Healsy
04:50There you go
04:51Chuck them over
04:51Yep
04:52Oh
04:54Do you know what?
04:55I'm not as athletic as I thought I was
04:58I'm not on the front of catcher's world
05:00Same here
05:04Of course, we are live
05:05So you can send us any questions you want to ask us about the news
05:07Uh, message us
05:08Instagram, the hashtags
05:09Is it okay?
05:10WhatsApp, the number's 07956175908
05:13Right, you can also scan the QR code on the screen
05:15But let's get right into the big story now
05:18Leanne1970 said
05:19Is it okay that the Green Party won their first by-election?
05:22Woo!
05:24You're allowed to vote with your mouths
05:27I know who that is
05:28Mm-hmm
05:29That's Zach Polanski's boyfriend
05:31Genuinely
05:36Yes, the results are in from last night's Gorton and Denton by-election
05:40Or as you decided to call it
05:41The Mancunian candidate
05:48Now look, this by-election was seen as a huge test for Keir Starmer
05:51Yesterday the polls were predicting a three-horse race
05:53Between Labor, Greens and Reform
05:55This morning, we woke up to find the by-election had been won by the Green Party candidate
05:59Hannah Spencer
06:01There you go
06:03Uh, who, by the way, also happens to be a plumber
06:06Which is perfect for working in the Commons
06:07Because in order to get the job done, she's going to have to wade through a lot of shit
06:11Uh, it's a sign of how quickly Hannah Spencer has risen
06:14That when I checked her Wikipedia page this morning, it said this
06:18This article or section is undergoing significant expansion or restructuring
06:23I mean, typical trader, he starts the reconstruction, then pisses off to another job
06:27Well, we, I, I, I love the fact that in, in her, kind of her acceptance speech, her winner's speech
06:32Yeah
06:32She actually apologised
06:34Because obviously now she's, she's doing parliamentary work
06:36She's going to have to cancel a load of, a load of work
06:38Oh, yeah
06:38She's got booked in
06:39A load of plumbing and plastering jobs
06:41I just love the fact that people are like
06:42She's all well and good, but your trust pilot rating is going to plum it
06:46Do you reckon there was people that had her booked in
06:48That voted reform to try and keep her as a plumber?
06:54Look, I like your policies, but I need you to come and sort out my immersion
06:57Next week
06:58Wikipedia even still lists Hannah Spencer's, uh, birth year as being 1991 or 1992
07:07That's also how you can tell she's a plumber, because it's an estimate
07:11On yours, on yours it says feet, one or two
07:18See, this is the sort of stuff he comes out with, now he's running
07:23Funnily enough, I actually, I met a cabbie last week who's also a comedian
07:26Yeah
07:26By the name of Trevor Bickles
07:28And ever since I met him
07:29He's been
07:29Travis Bickle?
07:30No, Trevor Bickles, I know
07:32Of all the names for a cab driver to have
07:33He's been sending me jokes ever since then
07:36To use on the show
07:37Oh, here we bloody go
07:41Today he sent me a message saying
07:42As a plumber, Hannah Spencer can't wait to start work on Monday
07:45Sometime between 8am and midday
07:48You know what, he's very good, he'll say
07:50I hope you're giving him a tip, because he's writing your script
07:54Hannah Spencer gave an impassioned speech this morning
07:56That sounded refreshingly like all the things people in this country
07:59Actually want to hear right now
08:02And I was elected because people in this constituency want change
08:06We are sick of being told that there's no alternative
08:10That we should shut up and accept it as our household costs spiral
08:14And our wages fail to keep pace
08:16That things which used to be possible
08:18Things that were normal not that long ago
08:21Free higher education, reliable and affordable buses
08:24Beaches you can safely swim at
08:27Being able to get a dentist appointment when you need one
08:30We're told that now that is too much to ask
08:39I mean
08:41It's just nice to hear someone list the problems in the country
08:43And not blame immigrants at the end of it all
08:45Well, no, if you play the longer clip
08:47She doesn't care
08:51She says she met a cabbie who told her
08:54What do you think it is about this type of speech that really cut through?
08:56Well, we live in a world
08:58I can't believe I'm saying this
09:00Yeah
09:00Where for a politician to come across as a normal person
09:03Is now considered a USP
09:06Like to have a politician that's comfortable
09:08And has, you know
09:10A racial accent and a job that people understand
09:13And isn't just someone who's come up through politics
09:16And doesn't look deeply uncomfortable in their own skin as prime minister
09:21Is just, is quite kind of refreshing, I think
09:24I quite like, obviously
09:26I think she spoke really well
09:28But I quite like the fact she said
09:29Like things that used to be normal
09:30Like being able to get like a dentist appointment
09:33Which now in that area is easier to get than a plumber
09:37And look, it should be pointed out
09:38By-elections are often lost by the government
09:40Because they're considered to be a protest vote
09:41But all of this is bad news for Keir Starmer
09:43Because all week he's been sweating like a formal royal in a pizza express
09:47In fact, this has been his worst week
09:49Well, since last week
09:50The Guardian said yesterday
09:52If Labour came third
09:52It would be hard to see how Keir Starmer stays as prime minister
09:55What does this mean for Keir Starmer now?
09:57Do you think the geyser just get
09:58He gets so much bad news
10:00It's getting to a stage now
10:01Where he's not even going to look at his phone anymore
10:04That bloke has got airplane mode written all over him
10:08He, it's
10:09I also think what's interesting from Labour is
10:11Andy Burnham
10:12Yeah
10:13He's having a fucking great week
10:15Like, he stood for that
10:17They wouldn't let him stand for it
10:18Yeah
10:18The less Andy Burnham does
10:20The more popular he gets
10:21Basically, if he does fuck all for another year
10:24He'll be prime minister
10:26And look, now that the Greens have won
10:28Can Labour stop trying to be reform light?
10:31Why give people a half-arsed option
10:33When they can go all the way?
10:34It's like when Scotland introduced Diet Iron Brew
10:37It was like all of the taste
10:38But none of the sugar
10:39Fuck, sorry
10:40I'm here for the sugar
10:42I love that you've still got an annoyance
10:44With Diet Iron Brew
10:47I'm just saying
10:47If people want full-fat culture wars
10:49Let them have it
10:50Just be more fucking Labour
10:52And while we're talking about reform
10:53What were they thinking?
10:54You've got a prime minister on the ropes
10:56Who's blocked a local candidate from running
10:57And you put forward a man
10:59That some people think is so obnoxious
11:00He makes Nigel Farage look like Alan Carr
11:03Matt Goodman said
11:04Women need a biological reality check
11:06And should start having children earlier
11:08That people who don't have children
11:09Should pay more tax
11:10And he campaigned in a gilet
11:11Which is arguably worse
11:13Than the first two put together
11:17By the way
11:18Is there an unsexier phrase than
11:19Women need a biological reality check?
11:22Every ovary in this room
11:24Just shriveled up in protest
11:26Goodman blamed the election loss
11:27On what he called
11:28A dangerous Muslim sectarianism
11:31I think we can all agree
11:32That it's absolutely lovely
11:34That a man called Goodwin
11:36Has proved to be a terrible loser
11:39Also can reform stop banging on
11:41About being the unofficial opposition now?
11:43They've only got eight MPs
11:44And four of them defected from the Tories
11:46I counted the Greens have got five
11:48Which means they have more MPs
11:50That were elected as members
11:51Of their current party
11:52Than reform do
11:54Meanwhile the leader of the Green Party
11:55Zach Polanski
11:56Outlined his busy schedule
11:57In a speech to Green staffers today
12:07That's right
12:08He's coming on the show
12:09Which is just as well
12:10Because it would be fucking weird
12:11If his boyfriend was here otherwise
12:18I know your party's won
12:20I'm off to the last leg
12:22I've got three tickets now
12:24It's really difficult to get them
12:25It's a smaller studio
12:26Jason Manford's on
12:28I couldn't see him in the producers
12:29Please welcome the leader of the Green Party
12:31Zach Polanski
12:45So listen
12:46Full disclosure
12:47We asked all the leaders
12:49Of all parties to come on today
12:50You said yes to this yesterday
12:52So how confident were you then
12:55Well did you think I was going to come on live TV
12:57With a bunch of comedians
12:58If I didn't think we were going to win
13:00That would be particularly brave
13:02Look I've not slept
13:03I've not slept for about two days
13:05What can possibly go wrong
13:06On being on TV right now
13:07It's not going to be fine
13:09I also
13:10When did you last sleep?
13:11A couple of days ago
13:12Because you had the election day
13:13Then I did a media round this morning
13:14Then the party
13:16Then lots of other things
13:17And then I've landed in this chair
13:18It's a bit like a fever dream
13:20Which is
13:20Last leg kind of
13:22That's the vibe anyway right?
13:23Yeah absolutely
13:24You really sound like you're committed
13:25To legalising drugs
13:29Except for two days
13:33So your take
13:34What's your
13:35You know
13:35Take away from the result
13:36Well largely
13:37I'm worried about
13:38The call out charge
13:39From sending a plumber
13:40From Manchester to Westminster
13:41I don't know
13:43But quite seriously
13:44This was a victory
13:45For Gorton and Denton
13:46But frankly
13:46The entire country
13:47We've seen hope
13:48Triumph over hate
13:49We've seen courage
13:50Triumph over cynicism
13:51We've seen
13:52I probably need to come up
13:53With a third sentence
13:54Because that's what politicians do
13:55But it feels like
13:56God you are tired
13:57Aren't you
14:00Two out of three
14:01I love it when someone
14:04But blocks themselves in
14:05And goes
14:06Oh fuck
14:08We've won the election now
14:10You don't need that third thing
14:12And look
14:12I think it's kind of remarkable
14:13You won
14:14Because look at
14:15Considering staggering sentiment
14:17On the streets like this
14:20I'm not going to vote for the Greens
14:22Why not Green?
14:24Because two weeks ago
14:26When the entourage
14:28Were in a cafe
14:29They walked out of the cafe
14:31And didn't close the door
14:32Behind them
14:37But I mean
14:38Is that
14:39I mean that
14:39They should have done that
14:40I know
14:40But is that a reason
14:41Not to vote for the candidate
14:43Actions speak louder than words
14:48I mean
14:49I'm really worried about this
14:51Some people don't close doors
14:52Other people sell state secrets
14:54Notorious paedophiles
14:56I mean
14:56Politicians are all the same
15:05Have you identified the door opener?
15:08I mean I did like
15:09Have nightmares
15:09That we were going to lose
15:10By one vote
15:10And I was going to be like
15:15We've had a lot of messages
15:15About you being on the show
15:16Mr. Karufa ever said
15:18Is it okay that Zach wants everyone
15:20To be allowed to get high on drugs?
15:21I'm not sure that was official policy
15:23It was said
15:24But I wanted to ask you about this
15:25It was said during the campaign
15:26You wanted to legalise all drugs
15:27Including heroin and crack cocaine
15:29Keir Starmer said you were going to
15:30Or suggested you were going to
15:31Legalise the so-called
15:32Date rape drug GHB
15:34So what is the actual drugs policy?
15:37Well Keir Starmer's
15:37You know
15:38Those are smears
15:39And it's actually outrageous
15:40And I'm on a comedy show
15:41But it's important to
15:42Pretty much point out
15:43That we have the highest drug deaths
15:44In the whole of Europe
15:45So the war on drugs
15:46Is just not working
15:47That's the first place
15:48We need to start
15:49We can't carry on
15:50With what we're doing
15:51So what we're saying
15:52And I don't think it's contentious
15:53Is we need to regulate
15:54And control drugs
15:55What does that look like?
15:57It looks like making
15:57A public health approach
15:58About harm reduction
16:00If someone's going to buy a drug
16:01Right now
16:02They might go on a street corner
16:03Or down the back alleyway
16:04That's dangerous
16:05And that's causing drug gangs
16:06What I'm saying
16:07Is if someone has
16:08A dangerous relationship
16:09With drugs
16:10They're addictive
16:11Let's make sure
16:12That they have a public health approach
16:13That's in the national health service
16:15They can get the support they need
16:16So what would that mean
16:18Practically
16:19In terms of like
16:20Are shops going to be selling drugs
16:21Like pubs
16:22Sell drugs
16:23The met commissioner
16:24Because where were you
16:25When I was a fucking student?
16:28We used to have an ice cream van
16:30In Manchester
16:31That pretended it was selling students
16:33In a queue ice cream
16:35Yeah
16:35And you know who that guy voted for
16:37At the election
16:38I mean there are drugs
16:40That are dangerous
16:41And those clearly need to be regulated
16:42Really carefully
16:43On the other side of it
16:44I'd say if someone wants a spliff
16:45With a green party
16:46You know
16:47You let them get on with it
16:50So it would be
16:51So it wouldn't be
16:52You're not talking about
16:53To smacking like
16:54Blanket
16:54You know
16:55Going from drugs
16:55All drugs are
16:57You know
16:57All these classmates
16:58Are all illegal
16:59To like
16:59Just all suddenly
17:00You know
17:00You can go and get them
17:01No
17:02That would be ridiculous
17:03And the fact
17:04The prime minister is suggesting
17:05It kind of shows the level
17:06That he's thinking of
17:07In terms of actually
17:08Having a sensible drug policy
17:09This is about
17:10A like transition
17:11Making sure
17:12It's evidence based
17:13Making sure
17:14That it's experts
17:15In both drug policy
17:16And also health policy
17:17Who are making these decisions
17:18Well look
17:19There was a lot of
17:19What you called Alex
17:20By-election shithousery
17:23Labour was said to be
17:24Behind a bunch
17:25Technical term
17:25Yeah yeah yeah
17:26Labour were said to be
17:28Behind a bunch of
17:28Supposedly independent
17:29Tactical voting flyers
17:30That looked like this
17:32It looked like
17:34Hey
17:34That's the
17:34Did you see that
17:35Were you across there
17:36I did see it
17:37Yeah
17:37Tactical choice
17:38Being a completely
17:39Fictional company
17:39Made up by the
17:40Labour party
17:41Right
17:41But then Labour said
17:42Your lot had dirty tactics too
17:43You had a poll like this
17:44In your leaflets
17:45That said
17:46Only the Greens
17:47Can stop reform
17:47In Gorton and Denton
17:48But that graph
17:50Wasn't polling
17:51That was the percentage
17:52By which votes
17:53Would change
17:53So if you looked
17:55At the whole poll
17:55Labour was still
17:56In the lead
17:57So are you
17:57Kind of coming up
17:58With a dodgy way
17:59Of presenting that
18:00I think we need
18:00To apologise for that
18:01Because it made
18:02Matt Goodwin
18:02Think that he had a chance
18:07Oh we were so close
18:09To getting a genuine
18:10Apology from a politician
18:13Is it a case
18:15That they're doing it
18:17So you have to
18:19You fight back
18:20With similar tactics
18:21Or
18:22I think there's a big difference
18:23So the Labour party
18:24Yesterday had a van
18:25Going round it
18:26With mine and
18:27Hannah Spencer's face
18:27On it
18:28That said we wanted
18:28To legalise prostitution
18:30For people's daughters
18:31That they were talking
18:32About selling crack
18:33In playgrounds
18:34I mean it was pretty
18:34Dystopian
18:35What they were going to
18:36I think there's a tradition
18:37In British politics
18:38That there are bar charts
18:39Where you present
18:40Your best case
18:41But I would say
18:42These are very
18:42Very different cases
18:44And I think the problem
18:45That we're having right now
18:45Are these things
18:46Are all being blurred
18:47Ultimately though
18:48I want to see
18:48Politics cleaned up
18:49I want to see
18:50Proportional representation
18:50I want to see
18:51Every single vote count
18:52And yes
18:53I want to see a plumber
18:54And a plasterer
18:55Become a parliamentarian
18:56So I've done that bit
18:57Now let's make sure
18:58That she gets in there
18:58And cleans up politics
19:00And look
19:00Now that you're on your way up
19:01The offers are going to
19:02Start coming in
19:02Possibly maybe even
19:03From magazines
19:05So we'd like to prepare you
19:06For that
19:06We've got one over here
19:08Would you mind
19:08Just going behind that
19:09Putting your head
19:09Through the hole
19:12Josh is going to do
19:12The unveiling
19:14You know
19:15We think this might be
19:16The way to
19:16Take your image
19:17The next step
19:18You ready?
19:20My face can't fit in that
19:27Amazing
19:28Oh it looks good
19:29Come on back
19:30Let's have a look
19:30How that photo turned out
19:34Yeah lovely
19:34Absolutely
19:35I can't squat that deep
19:36That's impressive
19:38Alright do you want to go over that side
19:39Sit with these guys
19:40While I bring on tonight's guests
19:41Yes I do
19:42Three great candidates
19:43Not a gilet between them
19:44Comedians Jason Manford
19:45Lou Sanders
19:45And Bella Hull
20:04All right quick thoughts
20:05What did you guys all make of the by-election?
20:09Loved it
20:09Loved it
20:10One of my favourites
20:12I've never been more disappointed
20:14Than the words by and three way
20:16Being put together before in my life
20:18To be honest
20:19Very disappointed
20:20When I picked up the paper this morning
20:22Lou?
20:23I liked it
20:24I loved Hannah's speech
20:25Not the one that you showed
20:26The one where she was crying
20:27It does go to show
20:28That women
20:29Do get emotional
20:30And by that I mean
20:32When I watched it
20:33I cried
20:33And then I cried again
20:34Watching Carol Valdeman
20:35Crying watching it
20:36As well
20:38Bella
20:39I'm just
20:40I don't know that much about politics
20:41But I was really surprised
20:43That a by-election
20:45Was national news
20:46Because I just think
20:47Like it's
20:482026
20:49Like it's fine to be bi
20:51Yeah a by-election by the way
20:53Even if you're in an election
20:54Like it's fine
20:55Yeah it's when the polls swing both ways
20:57Exactly
20:58Do you have any questions
21:00You'd like to throw at Zach?
21:01Yes
21:02Hi
21:02Carrier than question time right now
21:04Hi Zach
21:05Hey Bella
21:05How are you doing?
21:07I'm good thanks
21:07How are you?
21:08I have one question
21:09So you've already talked quite a lot
21:11About how you
21:11Like you want to legalise drugs
21:12I just want to ask you
21:14If you have any on you right now
21:19Because my dealer
21:20Is ghosting me
21:22I just have the dopamine
21:23From having won a bi-election
21:26I'm just saying
21:31Look if politics doesn't work out
21:33Comedy's working for you
21:34You have an answer for everything
21:35Oh yeah
21:36Are you Hillsy's taxi driver?
21:40Any other questions?
21:42Well you know like
21:44MDMA opens your heart chakra
21:46Right
21:46We all know that
21:47Yeah
21:48It's a killer
21:50Well if like
21:51You legalise MDMA
21:52And then the reform party
21:54They're sort of
21:55You know
21:55They're more open hearted
21:56Would you go to
21:58Iron Appa with Nigel Farage?
22:01I don't think
22:02There's a drug hard enough
22:03To maybe go to
22:05Look now that
22:06Hannah Spencer is an MP
22:07As we said
22:08Apparently she won't be able
22:09To finish all the
22:10Plastering jobs
22:10She's got lined up
22:11So I mean
22:12You're going to have to do it
22:14You're going to have to step up
22:15And you're going to have to
22:15Fill the void
22:16So we want to put your
22:17Plastering to the test tonight
22:19Oh god
22:19We've set up a wall over here
22:21Lou do you want to have a crack against
22:22Yeah
22:23Against Zach
22:24See who's the better plasterer
22:25I had a plasterer around my house
22:26And I thought I could probably do this
22:27Yeah right
22:28I actually said that to him
22:30And it didn't go down well
22:32I thought that with a comedian
22:36But before we do
22:37Is there a chance
22:38You could call Hannah
22:39For sure
22:40And maybe get her to judge
22:43Like FaceTime
22:43Oh my god
22:44If she's too busy for you
22:46It's going to be so
22:46It's going to be very very very
22:48Awesome
22:48Oh if she just sends you
22:49To answer phone
22:51Also how much is it
22:52For a call out fee
22:53Now at this time
22:57It's ringing awkwardly
22:58You're going to have to
22:59Fill some time
23:00Are you FaceTiming?
23:01I am FaceTiming
23:01What if she answers in a towel?
23:03Hello Hannah Spencer
23:04Oh my god it's her
23:06Hey
23:06Hey
23:15So Hannah
23:16First big question
23:18And I know we're all wondering
23:19Were you born in 1991
23:20Or 1992?
23:25Shall I reveal this now
23:26Or shall I
23:27Like sign up for an exclusive
23:29With like OK
23:30Or hello
23:32Oh you've changed
23:36Already
23:37Go on
23:38Or do you know
23:39Do you know
23:39Do you want to keep it a mystery?
23:41A very personal question
23:41No it's a good point
23:44A good point
23:44You should never ask a plumber
23:46Her age
23:48How much do you weigh?
23:49Yeah
23:49What was that?
23:50How much do you weigh?
23:51Yeah how much do you weigh?
23:52Let's go with that one
23:53I'll keep it a mystery
23:55All right I'll tell you what
23:56I'll keep it a mystery
23:56Because I think it will become clear
23:58In a few days
23:59A few months
24:00Hannah I'm coming over
24:01To take you over
24:02To watch the plastering
24:03That goes on
24:03Zach and Lou
24:04Do you want to come with me?
24:12So if you guys would like to
24:13We've got a wall here
24:14I'm going to show you the wall
24:16Lou and Zach have 30 seconds
24:18To plaster as much of the wall
24:20As they possibly can
24:21This is a very bad start
24:23From Lou Saunders
24:25Lou
24:27We can't put a poncho on
24:29There you go
24:30Where does he start the clock?
24:32Sorry
24:32Is this a live show?
24:35Oh Zach insisted on a poncho
24:37Because apparently
24:38He's only got one suit
24:39Yeah it's true
24:40You've only got one suit
24:41And we have to see
24:42And that's recycling
24:43He's so green
24:43Yeah thank you very much
24:44Okay 30 seconds
24:46Your stuff's down here
24:48Plaster away
24:49Can I just say
24:50I fell out
24:50On this side
24:51This side
24:52Yeah the side
24:54That's on the camera
24:55Lou
24:57Oh I'm going to say
24:59Yeah do you know what
25:01Zach is legalising drugs
25:03He's used to going plastered
25:14I'm going to say
25:15Hannah's loving it at the moment
25:17It's really hard
25:19Okay time's up
25:22Hannah from what you can see there
25:24Who do you think's done the better job?
25:26And don't rig the election
25:29Can you show me again?
25:32I'm just taking it very seriously
25:34That's Lou's wall
25:35It's like before and after
25:37Zach's wall
25:41Because they're both really good
25:43Don't
25:45Fucking hell
25:46You're already a politician
25:47Give an answer
25:48Give an answer
25:50I think
25:51I think
25:53I think I'm going to have to go with lose
25:55Yeah
26:01He wants a recap
26:02We'll have more last week for you after the break
26:04We'll check in on Mandy and Andy
26:05We'll dish the dirt with Bill and Hilary
26:07Thanks
26:07Thanks Hannah
26:37Bye
26:38Disinformation
26:39Of course
26:40Just stopped you being sued
26:41Allegedly
26:44Let's get into disability
26:45I love the fact that you didn't have to mention the paedophile bit though
26:50No problem with that
26:51No problem with that
26:52That's fine
26:53That's fine
26:58That's the thing they're really coming down on
27:00All right
27:05On to disability news
27:07Ben said
27:07Is it okay that John Davidson is facing backlash for his Tourettes at the BAFTAs
27:11Now if you don't know this
27:11John Davidson is a Tourette syndrome campaigner
27:14Whose life was turned into a BAFTA award winning film
27:16On Sunday he was at the awards ceremony
27:18Where his Tourettes caused him to shout involuntary noises
27:21Some of which were massively offensive
27:23One was a horrific racial slur
27:24Another said proceedings were boring
27:26And on another occasion
27:27He shouted the word paedophile
27:28When the host made a joke about Paddington Bear
27:32And if anyone saw Paddington's attempted jokes later in the show
27:36You'll know that wasn't the worst thing to happen to him that night
27:38And look
27:39We can't imagine what it must be like to have a racial slur shouted at you
27:42No matter the reason
27:43But we do know what it's like to be disabled
27:44There has to be a duty of care
27:46To make sure people with disabilities are supported
27:48There also needs to be a duty of care
27:50To make sure people of colour feel they're in a safe space as well
27:53And it feels like none of this was effectively done on the night
27:55The BBC have apologised for airing the racial slur
27:58BAFTA have also apologised
27:59Michael B. Jordan and Delroy Lindo said
28:01No one from BAFTA spoke to them immediately afterwards
28:04To explain what had happened
28:05Although Paddington did offer them a hug
28:07And said I know, tough crowd
28:09The BBC have said they are now investigating the incident
28:12The BBC apologise and investigate so many incidents these days
28:17Do you reckon they've just got like a template
28:19That they put out
28:21The BBC apologise for
28:22Insert crisis here
28:24We will launch an urgent internal investigation
28:27Into why
28:28Insert crisis here
28:31Look let's move on now
28:32Hannah said
28:32Is it okay that the UK have made two high profile arrests in a week
28:35Over the Epstein files
28:36And the US haven't
28:37Now
28:38While more allegations surfaced
28:40About Donald Trump in the Epstein files
28:41Former President Bill Clinton
28:43And his wife Hillary
28:44Gave evidence this week
28:45About their ties to convicted sex trafficker
28:47Jeffrey Epstein
28:49What do we think?
28:50Bill and Hillary
28:50I mean couples that give evidence together
28:52Stay together
28:52That's a
28:53I think it's so romantic
28:55That they're testifying together
28:56You know like
28:57It's really important to make time for date night
28:59And
29:04Let's get a hotel in DC
29:07Let's make a weekend of it
29:08Should we match in pyjamas?
29:11That's what they did
29:11Made a weekend of it
29:12In the Epstein files
29:14Well Bill Clinton said today
29:16Quote
29:16I saw nothing
29:17And I did nothing wrong
29:18Which is kind of the 2026 version of
29:20I did not have sexual relations with that woman
29:22You know
29:23It's just nice to see
29:24Someone from the 90s
29:25Doing their old hits again
29:26You know
29:27Meanwhile the fallout
29:28From the Epstein files
29:29Continued this week
29:30As activists hung this iconic photo
29:32Of the Andrew formerly known as Prince
29:33In the Louvre
29:36If you look really closely
29:37The red eyes follow you around the room
29:40I mean fair play to them
29:41That was a great stunt
29:42I do think it would have been ballsier
29:44To have done this though
29:50She's too old for hair
29:54On Monday
29:55Former ambassador to the U
29:57Well look
29:57Okay you've been watching all of this Andrew stuff
29:59And the Mandelson stuff go down
30:01Over the past few weeks
30:02What's your take on it?
30:04Are you trying to get me sued?
30:06You know
30:07The monarchy
30:07I'm not a huge fan of the monarchy
30:09And people say
30:10Do I want to abolish it?
30:11But actually
30:12I think they're doing a pretty good job
30:13Of abolishing themselves
30:14I think you know
30:15You're slowly seeing public interest
30:17Be less and less interested
30:18And I think it's really important
30:20That anyone
30:21Whatever public institution they are
30:22Come forward with what they knew
30:23What information they might
30:24Or might not have known
30:25And just come clean on it
30:27And while we're abolishing public institutions
30:28Let's be done with the Labour Party
30:31I so thought you were going to say Channel 4 then
30:36On Monday
30:36Former ambassador to the U.S. Peter Mandelson
30:38Was arrested for misconduct in public office
30:41After the police were informed
30:42That he was at risk of fleeing
30:43To the British Virgin Islands
30:45I think he misunderstood
30:47What the British Virgin Islands
30:48Yeah
30:50Of all the places
30:53Like
30:53Pete
30:54Go to Mallorca
31:00I mean do we think
31:01Do you think he was going to flee?
31:03I feel like the nickname
31:04Prince of Darkness
31:05Was like a bit of a clue
31:07I don't know
31:08Like if I heard
31:08That someone's nickname
31:09Was Prince of Darkness
31:11I wouldn't invite them
31:12To my baby shower
31:13Yeah
31:14But I would ask them
31:15On a hinge date
31:17Why?
31:18Because I love a project
31:22Here's an exposing snap
31:23Of Mandelson's arrest
31:26Is that an arrest
31:27Or is that just that thing
31:28Where you get caught
31:29Behind a slow walker
31:30On the pavement
31:30Yeah
31:31Or when you have like
31:32A race with a stranger
31:33When the stranger
31:34Isn't know they're in the race
31:35With you
31:35That's always good
31:37That's always good
31:38That's such a good observation
31:41I thought it was just me
31:43Not just you
31:43No it's not just you
31:44Not
31:45Yeah
31:45Just runner's world over there
31:46Yeah
31:48You know the runner's world thing
31:50It's funny
31:50Because we all like
31:50Bragg
31:51Or drop into conversation
31:53Like oh yeah
31:53I went on a run today
31:54But you've actually
31:55Done a photo shoot
31:58But it's
31:59Mandelson
32:00Anything is mad
32:01That he's sold so many secrets
32:02And if you know
32:03With Hannah
32:03There won't be any leaks
32:05Because she's a plumber
32:06Oh
32:07Absolutely
32:08It needed it
32:09It needed to be said
32:10A little bit
32:11Oh if you like
32:11If you like
32:12If you like
32:13Puns
32:13Yeah
32:14They didn't
32:19Then I haven't got one for you
32:22It turns out the person
32:23Who tipped the police off
32:24About Mandelson
32:25Was the Speaker of the House of Commons
32:26Sir Lindsay Hoyle
32:27But he didn't say what
32:29Like he said he got information
32:30Yeah
32:31I think he's just seen
32:32Mandelson in boots
32:33Buying some piss booing
32:35And one of them little teamfaces
32:37Lindsay Hoyle
32:38Got told
32:39Because he was
32:40On a work trip
32:41To the British Virgin Islands
32:43Yes
32:43What the fuck's that work trip
32:46He's the Speaker
32:47His job is literally
32:48Just telling people
32:49To be quiet
32:50That's all
32:51Oh the rum
32:52Is good for my throat
32:53Yeah
32:54Peter Mandelson
32:55Complained that the claim
32:56He was planning to flee
32:57The country was baseless
32:58He's understood
32:59To have texted a journalist
33:00At 4am
33:01To brief against
33:02The Met Police
33:03That's always a sign
33:04Of innocence
33:05Isn't it
33:074am text
33:08He's not like
33:08He's been up all night
33:09Worrying about it
33:10I better do this now
33:11Before this exists
33:124am text
33:13That's got a real whiff
33:14Of Zach's drug policy
33:15Yeah
33:16Well Andrew's reportedly
33:18Been told to avoid
33:19His favourite hobby
33:20Of horse riding
33:21Well it's not his favourite hobby
33:22Is it
33:25Let's be honest
33:30Jason what's his favourite hobby
33:32Allegedly
33:34I'm learning
33:36Stealing state secrets
33:37Or pedophile
33:37I can't remember
33:38One of the things
33:39Opening cafe doors
33:40And leaving them open
33:43Unforgivable
33:44Unforgivable
33:44Should he be allowed
33:45To ride a horse
33:45I feel
33:46I heard a rumour
33:47That every time
33:48Andrew gets on a horse
33:49The horse breaks
33:49It's own legs
33:50I think he should be allowed
33:53To ride on a horse
33:54But only in specific areas
33:55Like a lake
33:56That's frozen over
33:58I just think it's a weird thing
33:59To stamp down on
34:01Do you know what I mean
34:01Of all the things he's done
34:03Do you know what I mean
34:04And no horse riding
34:06Do you know what I mean
34:06Such a weird
34:08Thing to get annoyed about
34:09You know
34:09An Australian TV interview
34:11Surfaced this week
34:12In which a member
34:13Of the Royal Protection Team
34:14Revealed that the then
34:15Prince Andrew's nickname
34:16At the palace
34:17Was not a great one
34:19Get ready for this
34:22Did Prince Andrew
34:23Have a nickname
34:23At that time
34:24Well his
34:25His official code
34:26So if he was to come
34:28Into the palace
34:28He would call
34:29His call sign was
34:29Purple 4-1
34:31But he did have a nickname
34:32But it's a bit rude
34:33For me to tell you
34:33When I'll tell you
34:34But
34:36You're not going to be able
34:36To air it
34:38It was just called
34:39Do you want me to tell you
34:40Yeah
34:41It was called
34:42The Cunt
34:52To be honest
34:54That's not really
34:55No I didn't know
34:57No
34:57You know
34:57Who's coming out tonight
34:59We've got Steve
34:59The old monster
35:03You're not going to
35:04Understand
35:04Do you teacher
35:07You wouldn't think
35:08When they removed
35:08His royal name
35:09They also removed that
35:13Look over the last few weeks
35:14We've illustrated
35:15The plight of Andrew
35:16And Peter Mandelson
35:16With the Barry Manilow song
35:17Mandy
35:18Tonight we're going to
35:19Win the show
35:19With another Barry Manilow song
35:21To wrap up this weekend
35:22This week's events
35:23Get your feather boas ready
35:24But next week also
35:25The Winter Paralympics
35:26Kick off in Milan
35:27Cortina
35:27The opening ceremony
35:28Is live on Channel 4
35:29On Friday at 6.30
35:31We're going to be on
35:31Afterwards of course
35:32At 10
35:32After the break
35:33We're going to preview
35:34It all for you
35:35But to whet your appetite
35:36Here are some of the highlights
35:37Of what happened in Beijing
35:38Four years ago
35:39We're doing it all for love
35:45We begin with a bang
35:51All that speed
35:53All that talent
35:54I'll give you the word
35:56Benefits Patrick
35:58With a silver
35:59In Super G
36:00Beautiful style
36:02Big air there
36:08Gold to China
36:10On home ice
36:11Taking it all for us
36:15Doing it all for us
36:18Neil Simpson
36:23Has tasted gold
36:29And today good night
36:31Good night
36:47We'll have more last week
36:48For you after the break
36:48We'll preview the paras
36:49We'll unmask the mystery guests
36:50We'll see you in a little bit
37:05Welcome back to Life Leg
37:06We're joined by
37:07Bella Hull
37:07Lou Sanders
37:08Jason Manford
37:09And Zach Polanski
37:10Now the Winter Paralympics
37:12Kick off next Friday
37:13The opening ceremony
37:13Is on before us
37:14The games will be available
37:16To watch on Channel 4
37:17It's the 50th anniversary
37:19Of the first Winter Paralympics
37:20This year the sports
37:21Include para-alpine skiing
37:23Para-biathlon
37:24Para-cross-country skiing
37:25Para-ice hockey
37:26Para-snowboard
37:27And wheelchair curling
37:28If you're wondering
37:29This creative clip
37:30Is not wheelchair curling
37:33Hi
37:35Hi
37:39Hi
37:40Hi
37:41You're all the hi
37:48What a love
37:50Is everyone's a bit nervous
37:51Watching that clip
37:51Until he cheers at the end
37:53So they know he was in on it
37:54Yeah
37:56Medal hopeful GB
37:57Includes snowboarder
37:58Davey Giv
37:59Who's thought to be
38:00The first snow sport athlete
38:01With motor neurone disease
38:02To compete at the games
38:03Other hopefuls include
38:05Six time medalist
38:06Mana Fitzpatrick
38:07And the Paralympic champion
38:09In the Super G event
38:10Neil Simpson
38:10There's a whole bunch of others
38:12Very excited
38:13How excited are you
38:14Do you guys get excited
38:15Are you a sports fan
38:17Bella
38:18Okay
38:21I just like the fact
38:22That so many of the sports
38:23Just look like
38:24They've been made up
38:24By a PE teacher
38:25On snow day
38:28Like in just a mad panic
38:29To fill an hour
38:30Get a tea tree
38:31And get down that hill
38:32Get the sweeping brushes out
38:36Alex is going to unveil
38:37So every
38:38Of course every year
38:39There's a mascot
38:40And Alex is going to unveil
38:42The mascot
38:42Our mascot
38:43For the Paralympics
38:43In a sec
38:44Do you need to go
38:45And prepare
38:46Yeah of course
38:47I'll go and get
38:47Get the mascot
38:48For you mate
38:49Okay while Alex does that
38:50Here's a montage
38:51Of all the winter
38:51Paralympic sports
38:52That we've attempted
38:53In the past
39:03You're as cold as ice
39:06You're willing
39:07To sacrifice
39:08Our love
39:14You never take advice
39:16This could be
39:17Your sport
39:17Alex
39:18Yeah
39:18Could be
39:19Is that him
39:35I got an assist
39:40I got an assist
39:57Bullshit
40:01Now
40:02In Paris
40:03We had this little guy
40:05Hands
40:06As our mascot
40:07But we've gone
40:08A little bigger
40:09And a little better
40:09And a little snowier
40:10For Milan Cortina
40:11Alex would you like
40:12To bring out
40:13Our mascot
40:13For the winter
40:14Paralympics please
40:39You're the one who wants
40:40To legalise drugs mate
40:44Oh
40:44Hang on
40:45Am I in
40:46Oh
40:47There we are
40:48Alright let's bring on
40:49This week's mystery guest
40:51Bella, Lou and Jason
40:52And Zach
40:53Have to try and work out
40:53How this person is connected
40:54To the news
40:55Can we have the mystery guest please
41:08Josh Alex who's the mystery guest
41:09This is Keith
41:10Keith has been in the news
41:12This week
41:13But why
41:14Can we have the dramatic
41:15Lighting change please
41:19Car Josh
41:20Oh there's a card
41:21With the info
41:22For you
41:22Oh my god
41:23Not there
41:24Sorry
41:26I think I just gave
41:27Alex and Kalonic
41:29So
41:30This is Keith
41:31But why has he been
41:32In the news
41:32This week
41:33After he got
41:33444
41:35Tattooed
41:35On his arm
41:36Is it
41:36Because
41:37A
41:37He is a coach driver
41:38Who had his root
41:39Tattooed on his arm
41:41B
41:41He is a huge fan
41:43Of his local
41:43Chinese
41:44Takeaway
41:44The blue orchid
41:45And
41:45In exchange for free meals
41:47He had the number
41:47Of his favourite dish
41:48Tattooed
41:49Or is it
41:50C
41:50He is a 4FAR fan
41:52And there was a mix up
41:53At the tattoo studio
41:55We will reveal
41:56The mystery guest
41:58After the break
41:59Josh is also
42:00Going to wrap up
42:00The last seven days
42:01And we're going to
42:02End the show
42:02With a Barry Manilow
42:03Inspired musical number
42:04For Andy and Mandy
42:05We'll see you in a little bit
42:20Welcome back to
42:21The last leg
42:22We're joined by
42:22Bella Hull
42:23Lou Sanders
42:24Jason Manford
42:25And Zach Polanski
42:26Before the break
42:27We challenged our guest
42:28To work out
42:28How this person
42:29Was connected to the news
42:30Josh, Alex
42:31Can we have the options
42:32Again please
42:34So this is Keith
42:35And he was in the news
42:36This week
42:36After he got 444
42:38Tattooed on his arm
42:39But was it
42:39Because
42:40He's a coach driver
42:41Who had his route tattooed
42:43Is it because
42:44He's a huge fan
42:44Of his local Chinese
42:46And had the number
42:47Of his favourite
42:47Dishing
42:48Or is it because
42:49He's a 444 fan
42:50And there was
42:51There was a mix-up
42:52At the tattoo studio
42:53Now we don't have much time
42:55But what do you all think
42:55I was at a press conference
42:57This morning
42:57How am I doing this
42:59It's alright mate
43:00I used to be a journalist
43:01Don't worry about it
43:03Okay
43:03We'll go to the people
43:04If you're a coach driver
43:05What's your favourite
43:06What's your favourite coach then
43:09Scania
43:10Huh
43:11Scania
43:11Scania
43:12Now that's interesting
43:13Probably the name of a coach
43:14But I wouldn't know
43:16What are your three
43:17Favourite Chinese dishes
43:20Spare ribs
43:21Egg fried rice
43:22And pancake rolls
43:23Yeah and that's not
43:24A scottish accent
43:25Is it
43:25So that feels like
43:26The fourth hour
43:26Man is not right
43:27Okay we need an answer
43:28We need an answer
43:29What do you think
43:29I think it's
43:31Chinese restaurant
43:32I think it's Chinese
43:33Have you got another question
43:33Yeah
43:34I think it's Chinese
43:35Okay
43:36Keith can you reveal
43:37The answer please
43:38The answer is
43:39Coach driver
43:40It's my route number
43:42Of my service
43:43Aww
43:44That's right
43:45That's right
43:52You know
43:53You know what
43:54I've just seen
43:54The little dog paw now
43:55And that would be
43:56Distasteful actually
43:57If it was the Chinese restaurant
43:59Fair enough
44:00That would be
44:01Really offensive
44:02So I'm glad it's not
44:03I'm glad it's not
44:04What is the dog paw
44:06Does the dog come with
44:06That's my dog
44:07Aww
44:08That makes sense
44:09Yeah
44:09That makes sense
44:10Yeah
44:11That checks out
44:12How long have you been
44:13Driving that route
44:14Um I've been driving
44:16For 16 years
44:18Um for
44:19Penance coaches
44:20And national express
44:21Yeah
44:21Doing Gloucester to London
44:23Aww
44:23But other coaches do exist
44:25Yeah
44:26Other coaches do exist
44:27And what I love
44:28Is it's on your arm
44:29So that if you've got
44:30Your arm out the window
44:30Passing drivers know
44:31Which coach it is
44:32As well
44:32Um Keith
44:33Thank you so much
44:34And congratulations
44:35Thanks for coming on the show
44:36Thank you
44:37Thank you
44:37Appreciate it
44:38Love you
44:43Uh we are about
44:44To end the show
44:45With a song for
44:46Andy and Mandy
44:47But before we do
44:48Would you please
44:48Thank all our guests
44:49Tonight
44:49Bella Hull
44:52Lou Sanders
44:56Jason Manford
44:59Zach Polanski
45:03And of course
45:04My co-host
45:04Josh Whittacombe
45:07Alex Brooker
45:10We'll be back next week
45:12With comedians
45:12Nick Muhammad
45:13And Vittorio Angeloni
45:14And former conservative
45:15Politician Penny Mordaunt
45:17Right now though
45:18We want to end the show
45:18With a song for both
45:19Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor
45:20And Peter Mandelson
45:21Who have been arrested
45:23For misconduct
45:24In public office
45:25Now both Mandelson
45:26And Andrew
45:26Deny any wrongdoing
45:27But if they are found guilty
45:29There's a world in which
45:30They both end up in prison
45:31And in that world
45:32They might even be cellmates
45:34We're going to take you
45:35Into that world now
45:36With the help of
45:37Charlie Baker
45:37Barry Manilow
45:38And a very special guest
45:44His name was Andy
45:46He was an envoy
45:48He flew on a private jet
45:51And he said he couldn't sweat
45:53He said that he just
45:54Went out for pizza
45:56But when it went a bit too far
45:59He got bailed out by his ma
46:01He was a pompous bore
46:03He worked from three till four
46:05Till half a dozen coppers
46:07Kick down his front door
46:09Saying Andrew
46:11Andrew Mountbatten
46:13Your life seems to follow a pattern
46:17Yeah he's Andrew
46:19Andrew Mountbatten
46:22Sponging and blagging
46:24While drinking and shagging
46:26That was Andrew
46:30He's going down
46:38His name was Andy
46:40He was an MP
46:42That was thirty years ago
46:44Now his stocks are running low
46:46Hung out with at steam
46:48And wore his hoodie
46:50Though he didn't like females
46:53He got busted for emails
46:55They said he did a crime
46:57This bunk's already mine
46:59I lost my job
47:00I lost my title
47:01Now we're doing time
47:03Now we're both in
47:05Both in the slammer
47:07They thought I was off to Havana
47:11Yeah we're both in
47:13Both in the slammer
47:16Diving and ducking
47:18And flying and bucking
47:20In the slammer
47:23We're going down
47:32Thanks for watching The Last Lake
47:33My name's Adam Hills
47:34See you next week for The Next Lake
47:36Thanks for watching The Last Lake
47:40Thanks for watching The Last Lake
47:42Thanks for watching The Last Lake
47:43Thanks for watching The Last Lake
Comments