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TVTranscript
00:09Oh, Tina.
00:11My Tina adventure.
00:13Tina just went home.
00:15It's heartbreaking because Tina has been such a great sister in this competition.
00:21Tina!
00:21Thank Tina!
00:23She won our hearts.
00:24I fully thought that I was going home.
00:26When RuPaul called my name, I was shook.
00:30And I feel really bad about it because I think Tina deserves to say more than I do.
00:40And she's so awesome.
00:41You know, like, it hurt me to see her go home.
00:45But for me, it feels really good to lip sync.
00:47And, like, I had a lot of fun with Tina up there.
00:50What do you guys think?
00:52Utica is so confusing.
00:54She'll full lip sync for her life and come back, like, sobbing.
00:58But then when you ask her about it, she's like, it was such an honor to lip sync.
01:01I love lip syncing so much.
01:02And you're like, hmm?
01:03You made a really interesting choice.
01:05You played a character in that.
01:07And it served you well.
01:09I'm not going to sit here and tell you, oh, girl, you slayed the lip sync.
01:11Well, I don't think you did.
01:12I thought Tina slayed the fucking lip sync.
01:16Well, we're going to miss you.
01:18Love you, Tina Berner.
01:21I cannot believe I sent the great Tina Berner home.
01:24I will say I am tapping myself on the back.
01:26Tina is so talented and so established.
01:30And mama booted her off the pedestal.
01:32So, I think we might have a new lip sync as acid on your hands.
01:37Well, we all set on the couches now.
01:40Let's double win the two winners.
01:42Congrats, you guys.
01:43That's stunning.
01:44Listen, I think we all thought that you were going to win this.
01:46And well-deserved.
01:47But it gagged me that I wouldn't do.
01:49Maybe next time it'll be a triple win.
01:52I want to win so fucking bad.
01:55Tina's now gone.
01:56So, Candy's the lone competitor who hasn't had a win.
01:59Like, red flag.
02:00Alert.
02:01SOS.
02:02Being now the top six, safe is just not cutting it anymore.
02:06There is no more safe.
02:07It's like, if you're not in the top, you're in the bottom.
02:09Bitch, that crowd is right there in the middle.
02:10And we're all like.
02:13So, as we're winding down to the end of this competition, my strategy is I just want to
02:20put my best foot forward and I want to trip everyone so I can get to the top.
02:27Bring on the crowd.
02:31The winner of RuPaul's Drag Race receives a one-year supply of Anastasia Beverly Hills
02:36Cosmetics and a cash prize of $100,000 with extra special guest judge, Lonnie Love.
02:53So, it is a new day and I am so excited.
02:58I just got my fourth win in this competition.
03:00It feels great.
03:01We're in the home stretch, but it's also like, this is still RuPaul's Drag Race.
03:05Anything can happen.
03:08Okay, let's get it going.
03:09Oh, yeah.
03:10Girl.
03:10She done already to have her.
03:13Good girls finish last.
03:15Oh.
03:15So, who are you going to be?
03:16Miss Goody Two Shoes or Hell on Heels?
03:20Uh-oh.
03:21I'll meet your ass in the parking lot.
03:23Oh.
03:24I'm ready.
03:29My queens, for today's mini-challenge, you need to star in your own live makeup tutorial
03:36on how to create the perfect glam selfie.
03:40And lucky you gets to feature the new Norvina palette from Anastasia Beverly Hills.
03:47Oh, and here's the best part.
03:49You'll be doing it in pairs.
03:51Uh-oh.
03:52One of you will be the face, and one of you will be her arms.
03:56Work.
03:57Yes.
03:58Okay, queens, partner up.
04:00That's it.
04:01Work together.
04:02Okay, I would love to.
04:05Okay.
04:05Okay, you've got ten minutes to get into quick drag.
04:09No, wait.
04:09Nine and a half minutes.
04:11Oh, shit.
04:12Go.
04:14I could really use Tina right now because I need some beard cover.
04:17Oh, my God.
04:20Queens, say hello to the president of Anastasia Beverly Hills, Norvina.
04:25Norvina, thank you for supplying all of this season's gorgeous cosmetics.
04:29My pleasure.
04:30All right.
04:31Remember, the queen with the funniest face wins.
04:34Hit it.
04:35Hello to all of my friends, fans, and followers.
04:37Of course, it is me, your girl, Samantha.
04:40We are trying out the Norvina collection right here.
04:43I want to start with some loose setting powder.
04:45Okay, we've got a lot.
04:47Okay, so we've got this lovely, uh-huh.
04:50Okay, mm-hmm.
04:51This is great.
04:52So now, it looks like I want to do a nice tangerine.
04:56And start with this face.
04:57Ow.
04:58Wow.
04:59Feels good.
05:00And I'm going to finish that off with some green.
05:02Wow.
05:03Okay, on the other side.
05:05Fantastic.
05:05We've got two lipsticks here.
05:07Just add it right in there.
05:08And remember, you can always overdraw your lips for a sexy, pouty look.
05:12So I'm just going to overdraw over here.
05:14I'm just going to use this lipstick to actually...
05:16Oh, okay.
05:17Why not make the glue colorful?
05:19That is fantastic.
05:20I'm feeling absolutely standalina with my Norvina.
05:22Ooh.
05:23I think we have our new slogan.
05:24Mm-hmm.
05:26Simone and Olivia Luxe.
05:28I'll be showing you how to go from plain Jane to the Ebony Enchantress.
05:33We're going to go right in this eye.
05:35This eye right here.
05:37Right here.
05:38Then we're going to go underneath the eye, apparently.
05:41How do you accomplish the perfect, smoky eye?
05:44Well, let me show you right now.
05:47We're going to start from the chin.
05:49Right on this lovely jawline.
05:52Bruh, this is exactly how we test our makeup at headquarters.
05:55Really?
05:55So no animals, just drag queens.
05:57Exactly.
05:58Pow, baby!
06:00All right, got Mick and Utica.
06:02Hello, my little gorgeous lintresses.
06:04Lately, I've seen some really fucking nasty-ass selfies.
06:08So I'm here to show you how to beat your face for the gods and get the correct selfie.
06:14All righty, it's hilarious because Utica's arms are like that.
06:18And I'm going to do it now.
06:20Yeah, yeah, yeah.
06:20There we go.
06:21Testing out the powder, making sure it's a real good consistency.
06:30Just roll that on.
06:32To finish off this look, we're going to grab eyelash glue to really bring everything together.
06:37We're going to grab my lips again.
06:40If you glue your lips, doesn't it look like I'm a Jenner now?
06:46And pose.
06:49It's actually cute.
06:50It's cute.
06:51Seems like a normal got Mick face.
06:55Norvina, please do the honors.
06:57The winners of this week's challenge are Rosé and Candy.
07:03You've each won $2,500 worth of Anastasia Beverly Hills Cosmetics.
07:09Queens, thank you for trying my new palette.
07:12Now, Norvina, as an extra special surprise, Candy and Rosé are going to do your makeup.
07:18I hear my Uber.
07:22Ladykins, we live in a time when a simple act of kindness can go a long, long way.
07:28But there's always room for a little bit of well-executed say.
07:33Am I right?
07:34So for this week's maxi challenge, we're throwing a nice girl's roast.
07:39Yes.
07:40Pig optional.
07:42Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God.
07:44I don't know anything about roasts.
07:46I've never been to a roast.
07:47I do not want to roast.
07:49And the nice girls you'll be roasting are three Miss Congeniality winners.
07:54Joining us live and in person will be Heidi in Closet.
08:01America's sweetheart, Nina West.
08:05And the forever fan favorite and face mask pioneer, Valentina.
08:13I'd like to keep it on, please.
08:15She was right.
08:16I was wrong.
08:18There.
08:20Grow through ball, grow.
08:21Thank you, Dr. Fauci.
08:24Oh, and Rosé and Candy, since you won the mini challenge, you get to decide the order that
08:30the queens will perform.
08:34Razors, start your engines.
08:37And may the best drag queen win.
08:39Oh, my God.
08:40Roasted.
08:41Lord have mercy.
08:43Help me.
08:44Child, I'm not funny.
08:45Honey, this is not the gig.
08:49You're roasting up a storm.
08:51Oh, yuck.
08:51Get hon here, baby.
08:52It's a roast.
08:53Our maxi challenge is...
08:56A fucking roast.
08:57Candy, should we talk first?
08:59Yeah, let's break off.
09:00Candy and I get to pick the order.
09:02That is fucking iconic because your placement in a roast lineup can make or break you.
09:08So, seeing all the girls are last and us, too.
09:12But we get to decide where we go.
09:14Oh, that's true.
09:14First question is, when do you want to go?
09:17So often in this competition, girls have the authority and they forget about themselves.
09:21No, bitch.
09:21Me and Candy are going for ourselves first.
09:23The coveted spots usually are the first and the last.
09:27I don't know.
09:27I kind of want to, like, open.
09:29Why do you want to open?
09:30I feel like I can come out really strong, have the bar really high with energy and, you
09:35know, be really shitty.
09:36I also would love to open and set the tone, set the energy.
09:39I don't know.
09:39I definitely do not want to close.
09:40You don't want to close?
09:41I'm not witty enough to write my own jokes on the spot.
09:43So, if any bitch has my jokes throughout the roast, I'm going to be like, ooh.
09:47That's where I go first.
09:48I don't got to worry about that.
09:49I do my job and keep it stepping.
09:52Like, I know you are really, like, just basing off of your rating challenge, you're really
09:57good with the jokes and you can hold any placement.
10:00T, but, I mean, the last has a bit more pressure.
10:03I could close.
10:04I could close.
10:05Rose, oh my God, it's risky.
10:07Take a fucking risk, bitch.
10:09We're at the end.
10:09This is the top six.
10:10Don't fucking play safe.
10:11Girl, go last.
10:13So, fuck it.
10:13I'm going last.
10:14We should be responsible for making the night feel good, too.
10:16Like, let's say I were to open, right?
10:18And got my grip to be in the middle and then you were to close.
10:19The energy stays put throughout the entire night.
10:22I like that idea.
10:23You want to kind of keep the show high at the beginning, high in the middle, and high
10:27at the end.
10:28You know, you don't want to have a boring-ass show.
10:29All right, so we decided I'll open the show.
10:35Simone will be second.
10:37Okay.
10:38Utica will be third.
10:40Cute.
10:41Mick will be after Utica.
10:43Killing it.
10:43Then Olivia and Rose will close out.
10:47All right.
10:48Y'all was in that corner, and y'all thought you'll put yourselves in the two most challenging
10:53places in this roast.
10:54All right, bitch.
10:55But then, hey, listen.
10:56If you want to do it, you want to put it on yourself, hey, have at it, honey, because
10:59it ain't me.
11:00So do it, honey.
11:01We have ourselves a roast.
11:03Yes.
11:03We're babies.
11:04The LA hoes need to represent this process.
11:06We do.
11:07I do not want a fucking roast.
11:08I do not want a roast.
11:09I know.
11:10Literally, same.
11:11That was my exact thought process.
11:12All right.
11:12Here we are.
11:13And now we have to make it work.
11:15I'm a little nervous about myself.
11:17The only roasts I've seen are the ones in my mama's crock pot.
11:20So this is a new experience.
11:23I know that girls here who are just naturally funnier have must deliver.
11:29This is definitely going to be a challenge for me, because I definitely think I have a
11:33problem with being too sweet with things.
11:35Really?
11:36Sweet?
11:36Have you ever been sweet?
11:38I think I'm going to end up doing well.
11:40I think I'm going to do well.
11:41It's not my thing.
11:42But who's to say, what's my thing?
11:44Get it?
11:46I'm very confident that you're going to do very well in this challenge.
11:49I think I'm the most worried about Olivia in this challenge.
11:53She is so delightful, but you need to be savage in a roast.
11:58My swords are so wide.
12:04Oh, that's good.
12:10Okay.
12:12And I'm just reciting over this lovely material.
12:14Oh, I cannot wait, my love.
12:16Baby, give yourself life.
12:17I need a can of Liv from Olivia.
12:19You'll be in the bottom.
12:21I was safe.
12:22You would know.
12:23You would also know.
12:24The one that has the most safes.
12:26Most safe?
12:26You mean most top?
12:28I mean, you can be in the bottom or in the top all you want.
12:31Neither of you are going to win.
12:33Candy, let's not focus on winning until you can win something, baby.
12:35Okay?
12:36Excuse me, I won two Mini Challenges.
12:38Baby, that's the only thing Mini about you, baby.
12:40Okay?
12:41Wow.
12:42You are quick, bitch.
12:43Yeah, she's going to be quick to exit, bitch.
12:45Oh!
12:46I'm a little bit nervous because I've done a roast before and it wasn't so great.
12:50But I love reading these bitches, so I'm ready to do this roast and I'm ready to finally
12:55win a fucking maxi challenge, okay?
13:00Hi.
13:00Hey, kids.
13:01Hey, girls.
13:02It is time to meet with the comedy coaches, Miss Michelle Passage and Lonnie Love.
13:07You ready to roast?
13:08I'm ready to do something.
13:11Let's do this.
13:12Give it to me.
13:14Okay, so for Valentina, I was going to say something about myself like, well, I think it's
13:18pretty funny that we're doing a roast for the Miss Cungeniality, seeing that we have
13:22a Miss Cungeniality with us here tonight.
13:25Right.
13:26Is that too harsh?
13:27I don't, it's not too harsh.
13:28I just don't know if the TV land people are going to let the word cunt, hence charisma,
13:34uniqueness, nerve, and talent, right?
13:36And you don't want to be bleeped your whole thing.
13:38Right, right, right, right.
13:39Also, make sure we hear those.
13:42Make sure we understand what you're saying.
13:44I'm trying so hard to enunciate my words, because sometimes, you know, Mother of the
13:49Bronx actually goes out, bitch, and I'm talking so fast, we can't understand what the fuck
13:52I'm saying.
13:52Just slow it down so we can hear it.
13:55Hi.
13:56Hey, God, Nick.
13:57Are you ready to roast?
13:59No, it was actually the number one challenge going into this.
14:02I was like, if they have me roast, I'm going to die.
14:05All right, well, I'm ready to see what you got.
14:07Okay.
14:10Love.
14:11This is going to be me on stage going through the cards.
14:13I know, where is it got, Nick?
14:14So, maybe we start.
14:18Start with the honorees.
14:19Yeah, let's start with the honorees.
14:20I have one that's kind of candy in Valentina, so I was going to kind of go to candy and
14:25be
14:25like, candy muse.
14:30Candy girl, you've lip synced more times than Valentina has attempted to block the words
14:34rent live on social media.
14:38Okay, she likes her.
14:39Are you kidding me?
14:40Are you kidding me?
14:41That's hilarious.
14:42Okay.
14:42That's funny.
14:43Good to know.
14:44Let's hear what else you have.
14:45So, I want to say something like, we don't all have our brand given to us the day we
14:50were born.
14:50Michelle popped out and the doctor smacked her ass to see if she was alive and the word
14:54whore just popped right out.
14:56That's cute.
14:57You got some good stuff.
14:58What we don't want to hear is, okay, because what I was going to say, we don't want that.
15:01No.
15:02Because if you think it's not funny and you kind of apologize when you deliver it, it won't
15:05be funny.
15:05No.
15:06Olivia, hello.
15:07How are you today?
15:08I'm not going to lie.
15:09I'm a little nervous today.
15:11I think sometimes I am a little, like, too nice.
15:14Yeah.
15:15We all know how nice you are.
15:16That's why we fall in love with your smile and your curly hair and your sassy attitude.
15:20So, I think if you could surprise the crap out of us with some hard-hitting jokes, it would
15:24be really fab.
15:25Okay.
15:26Let's do it.
15:27Nina West wanted to be on Drag Race so bad, she auditioned 28 times and there's only been
15:3213 seasons.
15:33Okay.
15:34Valentina spends over six hours doing her face, two of which are her looking at herself in
15:39the mirror singing, I will always love you, but still six hours.
15:49All I hear is crickets.
15:51I'm like...
15:53Give me one for Lonnie.
15:55I want to talk about your, um, engineering degree.
15:58But is that funny?
16:00Um, okay.
16:02Tough audience.
16:03We know you could do cute, so we just need more.
16:06You could use that cuteness to, you know, stab them.
16:09You could, you know, shank them.
16:11We need more funny.
16:12Believe in yourself.
16:13After this rehearsal, I got a lot of work to do.
16:17Molly, you in danger, girl.
16:20Very much so.
16:22Rose!
16:22So, why don't we start with the honorees?
16:25Nina West is here, which is no surprise, seeing as Nina could be sitting in Texas while
16:30her shoulders are in Arkansas and Louisiana.
16:33Nina West's shoulders are so wide that, uh, she makes Tina Burner look like Valentina.
16:39Heidi's actually really, really thirsty.
16:41But my boyfriend actually, at one point, had to send her a cease and desist.
16:44Yeah.
16:45It wasn't nearly as complicated as when her makeup brushes sent her a restraining order.
16:48Oh, my goodness.
16:49And that's about as far as I've gotten in my flow.
16:52Really good.
16:53Find a way to shorten that.
16:54Sure.
16:54Because it's so funny.
16:55Your punches are so punchy and good and hard.
17:00Yeah, you seem really prepared, Rose.
17:01I can't wait to see it.
17:02Okay, well, thank you so much.
17:04It's going to be a good show.
17:05Cheers.
17:06After the coaching, I'm feeling really confident, and it feels great.
17:10Look at me.
17:10I'm holding the microphone right now.
17:11Damn.
17:12Hey, hey, Simone.
17:13Hey, y'all.
17:14Are you ready to roast, baby doll?
17:16I'm a little nervous to do it, because I've never done a roast before.
17:19Take it as far as you can.
17:20Okay.
17:21If it's not funny, we'll tell you.
17:22All right.
17:23I'm going to start with Nina.
17:24I'm so happy you could join us tonight.
17:26You know, I know that the bridge has been a little, you know, less people have been walking
17:30across in these hard times.
17:31But now that you're here with us, I guess it's, you're welcome.
17:36Explain that.
17:37Troll Under the Bridge.
17:38Oh, okay.
17:39Wait, we're going to have to explain that, so I would lose that.
17:41Lose that one?
17:42Let's hear what else you got.
17:44Thank you, Candy, for that marvelous introduction.
17:48It's from Hocus Pocus.
17:49It's my favorite movie.
17:50Oh, okay.
17:50That's great.
17:51But tell me something, my love.
17:53When you were standing alone in the back of the stage, looking at all the girls who've
17:56won a challenge, did it remind you of being in VIP or alone in VIP?
18:01Because it was the meme.
18:04Yeah, yeah, yeah.
18:05I think you're an overthinker, so when you're thinking about this, and it's a meme, and it's
18:09a movie, you don't need that.
18:10Okay.
18:10Always better to go right for the jugular.
18:12Go right to it.
18:13Okay.
18:13Yeah, because it was like long.
18:14You just want to hit them.
18:15Yeah.
18:15Be Simone.
18:16Use that character to tell your joke.
18:18Okay.
18:19Hey, you, they got you.
18:22Are you excited?
18:23I am excited, yes.
18:24Okay.
18:25I know you're gentle by nature.
18:27Do you think you can roast these beasts?
18:29Underneath, I think there is a bubbling evil interior.
18:33Fantastic.
18:34So, RuPaul, you have been bonkers over Simone in this competition.
18:40You know, I think you both could make a really good couple.
18:42You know, Simone and Pumbaa.
18:46Pumbaa?
18:46Pumbaa?
18:47You know, like Lion King?
18:48What?
18:50It's not a funny joke, Utica.
18:51Have you seen Lion King?
18:53Yes!
18:54I have children, Utica!
18:56You sure do look like it.
19:00Let's hear what you got for Nina.
19:01All right.
19:02Nina West.
19:06Oh, I'm sorry.
19:07I thought you could speak whale.
19:10You like that, Lonnie?
19:11Can you speak whale, too?
19:14Very mean.
19:15Very, very mean.
19:16I wouldn't do this.
19:19That could be very offensive.
19:21Does that trigger you?
19:22Does it?
19:23Whales?
19:25Manatees?
19:25Does Dumbo ring a bell to you?
19:27No, I'm sorry.
19:27I'm sorry.
19:27Wow.
19:30It's harsh.
19:32Even though it's a roast, it still has to be funny.
19:36Just mean doesn't work.
19:37You know what I mean?
19:39My taste level when it comes to humor is I love when it's just accurate.
19:43Like, I love, like, really good observations and just a little bit of truth to it.
19:48Just think it through of what is funny and what is mean.
19:51Mean never works.
19:52Yeah.
19:52Okay, Utica, you got some work to do, so we're going to release you to go get to it.
19:58Good luck, Utica.
19:59Bye, squad.
20:00That's going to be complicated.
20:02Yeah.
20:04L.
20:06How'd it go?
20:07Oh, I'm so fine.
20:08Hey, squad.
20:09I made a Lion King joke and Michelle was like, I don't get it.
20:14It's so funny.
20:15Michelle was looking at Lonnie like, what the fuck's happening?
20:19What's happening?
20:20But no, it was a really good time.
20:21Oh, so you feel the same when you thought there was a Snatch Game in your commercial?
20:26Utica's biggest weakness right now is that Utica does not agree with anything.
20:30The judges have been telling her she thinks that her art is just the peak of life.
20:38I think I'm going to do really well on this challenge.
20:40I have some pretty strong jokes and this is going to be authentically me and I'm ready
20:44to make this roast a blast.
20:49Don't get this roast a cooking.
20:52Roast, David.
20:52We are back in the workroom and it is time to roast, baby.
20:56Who's hungry for a roast?
20:58I'm feeling better than I did yesterday.
21:01However, you can prepare as much as you want, but when the lights, the camera, the action
21:05come on, it is anyone's game.
21:07Yo, and it's going to go past really quick because there's only fucking six of us.
21:10Which could be a very good thing for us or a very bad thing for us.
21:12Baby, there's going to be a bad one for you.
21:14Huh?
21:15Uh-oh.
21:15Shots fired.
21:16The roast is absolutely not anyone's game.
21:20There are stronger roasters in here than others.
21:22I know that the strong points are going to be Candy, Gottmik, and myself.
21:26Baby, I'm about to look like a fucking woman today.
21:29I can't wait to see it.
21:31Oh, baby, you've seen it all season long.
21:32Have we?
21:33Y'all look like drag queens.
21:35And you look like a man.
21:38Oh, I'm ready to wear this hair, honey.
21:41Oh, baby.
21:42Come on, lace.
21:43Come on, lace.
21:45If y'all don't roast Olivia about her damn lace on that damn wig with them ponytails sticking
21:50on her head, you deserve to go home today.
21:53But you still won that wig.
21:56Bitch.
21:57My plan in going into today's roast is basically to shock the judges even more than a girl
22:04that you expect is going to do well.
22:08I definitely came into a terrified of the roast.
22:11But I definitely feel like I found my rhythm and I'm feeling like I finally got that comedy
22:15voice that I've been looking for.
22:16So I'm excited.
22:18Yulica, how are you feeling?
22:19I think my jokes are fun and I'm confident I'm going to do well with this.
22:23I feel like, well, if I have fun, they're going to have fun with me.
22:28I don't know about her material for this roast.
22:30I've heard a couple of jokes.
22:32She's been a little off lately, so I'm not sure what to expect.
22:35And she's still like grinning from ear to ear.
22:37Can't wait to roast the dolls.
22:39I'm hoping that she doesn't turn it up too hot.
22:43So has anyone like had a moment where comedy got them through like a hard time?
22:46Well, have you?
22:47Um, yeah, in a way.
22:49Like being drag brings a lot of joy and fun and comedy into my life.
22:52And it's definitely lightened my self-imposed load, if I would say, on myself.
22:59Y'all nasty and y'all need help.
23:01I definitely think comedy gets me through a lot of things in life.
23:03I think I use humor sometimes as a way of coping with things that really hurt me.
23:06And I think that's why now I love making people laugh.
23:09It is my greatest joy on this earth, in this little body, to make people laugh.
23:16Nothing makes me feel more complete than to bring people joy and to hear the tangible laughter that comes with
23:22that.
23:22Agreed.
23:23Especially as queer folks and POC queer folks, it can be definitely a difficult time in the outside world.
23:30And it's the small moments at bars that we have with one another laughing and talking over a drink and
23:36a drag show that really make our bonds so special.
23:39Or sometimes just a drink because a drag show fucking sucks.
23:43Yeah, we've been to your shows on Monday.
23:47That's just like a comedy queen.
23:48We'll see.
23:49Not all of us can be a self-proclaimed comedy queen like Rosé.
23:52Maybe.
23:52The reviews have been in for years, honey.
23:54Years.
23:55It sounds like a lot longer than I've been doing drag.
23:57It sure does.
23:58Thank you for reading yourself.
23:59Baby!
24:01The pressure's on.
24:02The pressure cooker has been turned up.
24:04And we just gonna have to see who's gonna be fully cooked or if it's just fucking roasted, my love.
24:09The pressure cooker has been turned up.
24:38Occasionally nice, Michelle Visage.
24:41You know what, Rue?
24:41Thank you for noticing.
24:44The hilarious Ross Matthews.
24:46Ross, do you like being the butt of the joke?
24:48Ooh, that sounds fun.
24:49I'd like to try that.
24:52Everybody say Lonnie love.
24:54Now, Lonnie, can you take a joke?
24:56Only if I could have that outfit, girlfriend.
24:59This week, we challenged our queens to show off their comedy chops at our nice girls' roast.
25:05Racers, start your engines.
25:07And may the best drag queen win.
25:09Welcome to the first ever Nice Girls' Roast.
25:14Please welcome Miss Congeniality Season 11, Nina West.
25:18Hey, that's me.
25:23Miss Congeniality Season 9, Valentina.
25:31Escandalote.
25:34And our reigning Miss Congeniality.
25:38Heidi N. Closet.
25:49Now, what shady thing could you possibly have to say about these angels?
25:56Let the roast begin.
25:58Hey, y'all!
26:03Ooh, bitch, don't I look gorgeous tonight, huh?
26:05Y'all, my name is Candy News, and I ain't a nice girl.
26:08I'm a naughty girl.
26:10Ooh.
26:11Listen up, bitch.
26:12Welcome to the Nice Girls' Roast, bitch.
26:15Tonight, we have the privilege and honor of roasting our amazing Miss Congeniality.
26:20Yay!
26:22Ain't no audience tonight.
26:23Mm-mm.
26:24Michelle, don't I kind of remind you of your old concert from back in the days, bitch?
26:28That was empty.
26:31First up, the incredible Valentina.
26:35Hello.
26:36You know, you and my drag mother have so much history together.
26:39But she got one thing correct, baby.
26:41You're perfect.
26:43You're beautiful.
26:44That performance in Rent Live was rough, bitch.
26:49Your angel needed an angel.
26:54Hello, Miss Nina West.
26:55Hi.
26:56You make my good Judy, Miss Tina Burner, look like such a petite woman.
27:00With them big-ass shoulders you got, bitch.
27:03I know that drag race is the Olympics of drag.
27:06And baby, you the stadium.
27:12How can I forget our sweetheart, Miss Hottie in closet?
27:15I don't know what's worse.
27:16Your fair shit on season 12.
27:20No, baby, ain't nothing worse than that.
27:22Ain't nothing worse than that.
27:28Hello, judges.
27:29Hi, Andy.
27:30I don't know what's scarier, waiting for my test results at the clinic or waiting for a critique from the
27:35judges.
27:36I know at least one of them will come out positive.
27:44How can I forget about our amazing special guest judge, Miss Lonnie Love?
27:49Hey, Candy.
27:51How does being an extra on Soul Plane land you this big-ass gig on RuPaul's Drag Race?
27:58Hey, Ru.
27:59Hi.
28:00Yo, RuPaul is so old, Jurassic Park broke back memories.
28:05RuPaul is so old, I told her to act her own age, bitch.
28:07She died.
28:13Miss Candy Muse from the house of Aja.
28:16Her little daughter then came out her to make fun of me, and the bitch did a good job.
28:20And then Latinas are in the house.
28:22Hey.
28:23If you enjoyed my set, thank you so much.
28:25If you didn't enjoy it, you're definitely not going to enjoy the next bitch after me.
28:28I love it, it does.
28:30She is a fashionista with the voice of a fucking gargoyle.
28:34Give it up for Miss Simone Simone.
28:36Yay!
28:37Woo!
28:39Candy Muse.
28:41Thank you for that marvelous introduction.
28:44Now, I do have a question for you.
28:46Last week, when you were standing in the back of the stage, looking at all the girls who've won a
28:50challenge in front of you,
28:53did it remind you of standing alone in the VIP?
28:58Goodness gracious.
29:01But speaking of losers, we have our esteemed panel of congenialities here tonight.
29:07We have Miss Valentina.
29:08We gotta talk about that controversy.
29:10Oh, yes.
29:10Mm-hmm.
29:12You didn't know them words to that lip sync.
29:14No.
29:15You let that happen.
29:16Uh.
29:21Simone is bombing.
29:22It's like time stops.
29:24Time is stopping right now.
29:26Miss Lonnie Love.
29:27Hey, Simone.
29:29Hey.
29:29Now, you was an author, an actress, a TV host, and you were a former electrical engineer.
29:39But then you somehow were so good at it, you engineered your ass onto this judging panel.
29:47Oh, God.
29:49Miss Ross the Boss Matthews.
29:52The gayest one on this panel.
29:54And that gets me, because you're sitting next to a man in a wig that's been pulled, plucked, and prodded.
30:00And no, that's not you, Miss RuPaul, okay?
30:02I'm talking about Michelle.
30:05And now on to my girls.
30:07Oh, Olivia.
30:09Now, I told you that you remind me of the girls back home.
30:12And that's poor.
30:14But.
30:17Heidi's here tonight, so you have one thing to know.
30:20That you are not destitute, okay?
30:23Oh, my.
30:24Simone is gorgeous.
30:26I just wish her jokes were as good as she looks.
30:30Can't even spill that.
30:31I guess it's time to bring up our next plea.
30:34Straight from the Minnesota Institute for the Criminally Insane.
30:37Give it up for you to the queen!
30:40Woo!
30:41Yay!
30:42Oh, Simone.
30:43I thought I was the one who had the balls to bomb that heart.
30:48Great job, Simone!
30:49The judges love you so much in this competition, especially Ross.
30:54You know, Ross and Simone, I think you guys would make a great couple.
30:57Simone and Pumbaa.
31:01Akuna Matata!
31:02Ross, you know I love you.
31:04You are so gay that you don't shit on the dick.
31:07You skittles on the dick.
31:10You're so gay.
31:11They should...
31:14They should make the whole...
31:15They should take Celebrity Big Brother and make it Celebrity Big Brother with benefits.
31:22This is hilarious, and not hilarious because it's funny, but hilarious because this bitch is bombing all of her jokes.
31:29Okay, okay, okay.
31:30Now that, you know, I got my balls out of the way and I'm bombing, I'm bombing, I know, I
31:33know.
31:34Nina West.
31:35Oh, yes!
31:41Oh, I'm sorry.
31:42I thought you could speak whale.
31:43Oh, I'm sorry.
32:13Oh, I love this.
32:20No.
32:21I love it.
32:22You like that?
32:22You like that, RuPaul?
32:23RuPaul, you are such a fashion icon.
32:26If you could stand up for us, please.
32:40Utica tanked the roast really hard.
32:42I don't even know how you crawl out of that.
32:44And now it's time to bring up the amazing Gottmik.
32:47She's so small, her shoe size is the same as her IQ.
32:51Six.
32:51Give it up for Gottmik!
32:54Jesus Christ.
32:55Molly, you in danger, girl.
32:56There's definitely tension, and it's my turn.
32:58Now I'm scared.
33:00Good night.
33:00Good night.
33:02Welcome back to the nice girl's roast.
33:05Oh, thank you.
33:07Wow.
33:08How will I ever follow that one up?
33:14After your set, I really realized that it's so fitting that your name begins with the
33:18letters U-T-I, because you make me extremely uncomfortable and I feel like I need a full
33:23bottle of pills to forget about you.
33:27Heidi in closet.
33:29Hi, my love.
33:31You lip synced more times than our angel here, Valentina, has attempted to block the words
33:36rent live on social media.
33:41We're moving on to our judges.
33:43Hi, you guys.
33:44Hi.
33:44Lonnie Love.
33:46I just cannot believe I am standing up here presenting my comedy in front of you.
33:52I knew there was going to be budget cuts this season, but I didn't know it was going to
33:54affect the judges panel, too.
33:57Oh.
34:00Hi, Ru.
34:02Hi.
34:02How are you?
34:03Good.
34:03I am such a huge fan of you and your work and all of your hit song.
34:13Hi, Ross.
34:14Hi.
34:15I love you so much.
34:17And you are the only person I have ever met that watches porn and comes when the pizza gets
34:23delivered.
34:25What is up with that?
34:27Oh.
34:28You got a point.
34:30Well, did you guys have fun with my set?
34:32Yeah.
34:32Yeah.
34:33All right.
34:33Well, hopefully my last will get you through the awkward silence on the next Bitches set.
34:38So give it up for Olivia Lux.
34:41Woo!
34:44This is so fun.
34:46This is so fun.
34:46Thanks, Gorge.
34:47Yes.
34:48I know.
34:49I know what you're thinking.
34:50The polite queen roasting.
34:54I didn't come here just to be Miss Congeniality.
34:57You see where that gets you?
35:01I came here to win something Candy Muse has yet to do in a maxi challenge.
35:07All right.
35:08The judges.
35:09Hi, judges.
35:10Hi.
35:11Mama Rue.
35:12Mama Rue, the patient zero of drag queens.
35:18Mama Rue is so old, her first drag name was in hieroglyphics.
35:24Mama Rue is so old, she signed the Declaration of Independence as parent slash guardian.
35:31Oh, shit.
35:37Nina West.
35:38Nina West wanted to be on Drag Race so bad, there's only been 13 seasons and somehow she
35:43managed to audition 38 times.
35:48Valentina.
35:49I noticed Valentina's eyebrows are like tally marks.
35:53One, two, three, four, five, six.
35:56It's like she's counting how many times I've been at the bottom.
35:59Uh, one, two, three, four.
36:01Oh.
36:02Well, look at your brows, girl.
36:06Well, thank you, everyone.
36:08And if you didn't like my set, my name's Michelle Visage.
36:12All right.
36:14The next queen.
36:15She's wearing silver tonight because in our lip sync, she came in second place.
36:21I sent her own once and I can't wait to do it again.
36:24Let's give it up for Rosé.
36:28Everyone, listen, my name is Rosé, and before I get started, I do want us all to give one
36:32more massive round of applause for Miss Olivia Lux, who, after what we just experienced,
36:37will now forever go by the name Olivia Sucks.
36:42Valentina, I can't believe I'm standing on this stage with you.
36:44I credit a lot of my love for polish and perfection today to watching Valentina while season nine
36:49was airing.
36:50And coincidentally, during All Stars 4, I, too, realized that I am completely fucking delusional.
36:56Yes.
36:58Nina West is here, everybody.
36:59Yay.
37:00Nina West's shoulders are so wide that in high school, she auditioned for the school play
37:05and got the part of the stage.
37:08Now, Heidi and I are actually friends.
37:10Heidi and I got to know each other last year in New York.
37:13We've hung out a few times.
37:14And how you doing, Heidi?
37:15Blessed and highly favored.
37:16Okay, great.
37:16So we've been talking for about 10 seconds.
37:18This is the longest on record that Heidi has ever waited before trying to fuck me.
37:24Heidi, is it true?
37:26Lies, baby.
37:26No, it's not lies, baby.
37:28The only thing that is thirstier than Heidi and Closet are her makeup brushes, okay?
37:34Yes.
37:35Oh, RuPaul, you always look beautiful.
37:37And I'm really proud to announce that it's not the only thing that we share in common.
37:42I want you all to know that Ru and I are both actively working in the music industry.
37:47One of us is a recording artist.
37:48And one is a singer.
37:53All right, everybody.
37:53Well, listen, I've had a great time.
37:55But before I leave, I want to leave you with some words.
37:58Well, actually, it's for you, Candy.
38:00Candy, I'm really proud of you for what you've done this season, but mostly for tonight.
38:04Because I know it takes tremendous courage to show up to a roast when you are a roast.
38:09I'm Rose A.
38:10Have a wonderful night.
38:14Let's hear from our guests of honor.
38:16Any final words?
38:18You're so kind.
38:19So kind to me.
38:20Thank you so much.
38:21Being the current-ranking Miss Congeniality, I want to say this as nice as possible.
38:26And it comes deep from my heart, okay?
38:30Fuck you!
38:31Fuck you!
38:32Fuck you!
38:33Not you, you got the check.
38:34And fuck you!
38:36I'm actually here tonight to return the title of Miss Congeniality.
38:40I tried it for a year, but I'm too much of a diva, so I'll take Miss French Vanilla fan
38:45-favorite fantasy.
38:47Candy Muse is here.
38:48Candy Muse from the Bronx Zoo.
38:52Remember this, guys.
38:54Go big.
38:55Be kind.
38:56Be kind.
38:56And if you're nice, you could actually end up on stage with these beasts.
38:59Thanks for having us.
39:03Welcome, queens.
39:05It's time for the judges' critique.
39:07Starting with...
39:08Candy Muse.
39:10You started the roast tonight, and that's a tough position, but you set the bar tonight.
39:15Bitch, she died.
39:16I compared everyone after you to you.
39:19You were so funny.
39:21And you felt like in the zone.
39:23I laughed from the beginning to the end.
39:27We were howling over here, and that's what it's about.
39:29You had the energy, the confidence.
39:31You were my Don Rickles tonight.
39:34You look great.
39:35I live for this extremely cinched moment.
39:37I would have liked a little bit more hair maybe on top of your head.
39:40But your roast was so good that you deserve praise for that.
39:44Well done, Candy.
39:47All right, up next, Simone.
39:48You look gorgeous.
39:50Simone, you have been so funny in so many challenges.
39:54So I was really looking forward to seeing you.
39:57And you did have some funny lines in there.
39:59It was the setup and the punch.
40:01It just never fully took off.
40:04When we were talking to you, Michelle and I, we said to shorten your jokes a little bit.
40:07Just remember, short is sweet is better.
40:10You were overthinking it.
40:12Your cards were getting in the way.
40:13One thing led to another, and it just became a spiral.
40:17I know exactly what I want.
40:18I know exactly how I want to execute it.
40:20And when it doesn't go that way, I kind of shut down a little bit.
40:24I have bombed many a day.
40:26And believe me, I just hang in there.
40:28All right, thanks.
40:29Up next, Utica Queen.
40:31Hello.
40:31I was very interested to see how you would do roasts because you're all about joy and positivity.
40:37And you went in.
40:38In a roast, nothing is off limits as long as it's funny.
40:43And I felt like some of these were just observations.
40:47And kind of harsh.
40:49When you came out, that first joke was very, very funny.
40:51Balls to bomb that heart.
40:52But once you lost your footing a little bit, we could tell that your go-to is to get a
40:56little
40:57mean to save it.
40:58And you want to try not to be mean, but cut and funny.
41:02It's a fine line.
41:03That's what Lonnie and I were trying to tell you.
41:04I'm still learning what is comedy and what is offensive.
41:08When it got off the rails, I started like grasping for straws and trying to save myself.
41:13Maybe not your comfort zone.
41:14A big swing.
41:16A bit of a miss.
41:17I'll tell you this.
41:18This might be my favorite look you've done all season.
41:21I really love it.
41:23It's so gorgeous.
41:25It's so Upper East Side society lady.
41:27I wish I could say the same about yours.
41:30Fuck you.
41:32If I'm going to take anything from this competition is that I got two sets of middle fingers from
41:37So thank you.
41:38And I gave you this, too.
41:40This is the nastiest hand gesture ever.
41:44Ever.
41:45It means I love you.
41:48All right.
41:49Up next, Guttmik.
41:51Out of everyone that we coached yesterday, Michelle and I, you listened and it paid off.
41:56I thought it was really strong.
41:57Your joke about me was my favorite about me tonight.
42:00Comes when the pizza gets delivered.
42:02I feel themed, Guttmik.
42:04There's a reason why my sorority name was Meat Lover Supreme, right?
42:08The way you delivered some of the jokes were very Phyllis Diller.
42:12I think you have a future in stand-up.
42:15I really do.
42:15Oh, my gosh.
42:16Thanks.
42:17Coming in here, this was the one thing that I was like, I do not want to do a roast.
42:22I was like, absolutely not.
42:24I feel like I have found this gorgeous little way to read people that I didn't know I could do.
42:29It is the moans.
42:30They get me good.
42:33Yeah, blame it on the moans.
42:34Yes.
42:35If I had a nickel.
42:36I'd have one nickel.
42:43Okay.
42:46Up next, Olivia Lux.
42:48You know, from day one, I've just been obsessed with how likable you are.
42:53That is a tough thing to be in a roast.
42:57I thought you did have some jokes that landed, but I don't think it fully worked.
43:03You know, when you came on stage, even the little walk that you did felt kind of like an apology.
43:09It was almost like a disclaimer.
43:11I definitely knew that I had this, like, sweet, you know, character.
43:15I like the idea of, like, turning it all the way up and then killing them with kindness and being
43:19like, she said that, but in such a sweet way.
43:22Like, you felt that you fulfilled the challenge.
43:24I feel as though I fulfilled the challenge.
43:27All right, thanks.
43:29All right, straight from First Avenue in Minneapolis, after a headlining set with Sheila E and the new Power Generation,
43:36is Rose.
43:38I love that outfit.
43:39It's a really fun look.
43:41You came out tonight, and you owned it.
43:43I think you executed it beautifully.
43:46And you were the only one without cards, so you deserve credit for that.
43:49It was a great set, and you had to close the show, which is the hardest thing to do.
43:54Rose, you were my Joan Rivers tonight.
43:56Olivia sucked.
43:57Your transitions were so smooth, but during rehearsal, you were better.
44:02When I first started doing stand-up, I would have to do two shows a night, so I'd do my
44:06first show, and if I kill, the second show is always different.
44:09Just remember to never take anything for granted.
44:12And what I also think is that you have everything.
44:13You have a total package.
44:15You are ready to just keep performing.
44:18Good job.
44:18Thank you, Lonnie.
44:19Thank you, ladies.
44:21I think we've heard enough.
44:22While you untuck backstage, the judges and I will deliberate.
44:27Okay, just between us girlfriends, what do you think?
44:30Starting with Candy Muse.
44:32Oh, our Candy Muse knocked it out the park, son.
44:39Candy gave us that old school corner club vibe.
44:43I loved it.
44:44I felt like I was right back there in 1975.
44:48Tonight was fantastic.
44:50She set the bar from the beginning of the roast, and no other queen topped her.
44:55I just am so proud of Candy.
44:57I could spit.
44:59But I won't.
45:00But I won't.
45:02Simone.
45:02Tonight, for me, Simone sort of fell on her face.
45:06There were some jokes hidden in there, but she wasn't selling them.
45:09Her setups were really long, and then the punchlines were cute, but it took so long to get there that
45:14you weren't even, like, interested in laughing.
45:17I do, however, want to give her credit for staying in character.
45:20However, that character really didn't help her get through all of the losses that she suffered with those jokes.
45:25This just wasn't her night.
45:27I was happy to see her leave the stage.
45:29Utica Queen.
45:30Boo!
45:34Boo!
45:36When we were coaching her, we were trying to help her.
45:39Yeah.
45:39And we were saying, hey, don't be so mean.
45:42She's got to find a way to listen.
45:44This wasn't funny tonight.
45:45Moving on to Got Mick.
45:48This one has the goods.
45:50It felt easy watching her.
45:52She felt like she planted herself at a podium, and she, like, delivered it to us.
45:56You know, the best comics are able to take the stage and, within a few seconds, let the audience know
46:02exactly the point of view that they're coming from.
46:04Yes.
46:05Her jokes were fire.
46:06They were hitting.
46:07She automatically knew what she wanted to do.
46:09I just wanted to see more of her.
46:11Olivia Lux.
46:12She came out there and said, I'm nice, and I'm not used to doing this.
46:15And we're like, girl, snap out of it, because you have to get up there and roast.
46:19And it could have been great, because you know, like, when Betty White delivers a real zinger, and you're like,
46:23oh, that's so unexpected.
46:24She couldn't have that moment.
46:25She relied on just being the cute without delivering the joke part.
46:28There were a few.
46:29The section with you was great.
46:30Parent slash guardian.
46:32But that was it.
46:32She is so likable and so lovable and watchable and sweet.
46:36But it's starting to be one no.
46:39All right, Rosé.
46:41Rosé knows what she's doing on stage.
46:43She's got that presence that just is so commanding.
46:46That voice that's, hello, I want to look at her.
46:48I turn my head to see her.
46:50And you can't deny, she's meant to be up on that stage.
46:52I thought she nailed it tonight.
46:53But she definitely was funnier in rehearsal.
46:55I think the silence of the room threw her off.
46:58And then she kicked it in, and then it was a home run.
47:01This girl is like Bianca.
47:02She can do whatever.
47:03Silence.
47:04I've made my decision.
47:06Bring back my queens.
47:08Chop, chop.
47:09Welcome back, ladies.
47:11I've made some decisions.
47:15Rosé, tonight you are Sheila E. Larius.
47:21You are safe.
47:24Let me step to the back of the stage.
47:29Simone.
47:30You are a vision in 24-karat gold.
47:34But your set was tin roof, rusted.
47:42I'm sorry, my dear, but you are up for elimination.
47:47Candy Muse.
47:49You're right.
47:49This is the Olympics of drag.
47:52And tonight, you won the gold.
47:56Condragulations.
47:57You're the winner of this week's challenge.
47:58Yay!
47:59What is going on?
48:00Yay!
48:01Finally, dear!
48:05You've won a cash tip of 5,000 doulas.
48:08Yay!
48:10I won a challenge.
48:13And baby, I am Miss Comedy Queen.
48:17Got Mick.
48:19Your roast was gorge.
48:24You're safe.
48:25Thank you, ladies.
48:29Olivia Lux.
48:30Tonight, you are consistent.
48:33Consistently one note.
48:36Utica.
48:37You started off with a bang, but you ended up shooting yourself in the foot.
48:45Olivia Lux.
48:49You're safe.
48:53You may join the other girls.
48:56Utica.
48:56I'm sorry, my dear, but you are up for elimination.
48:59I'm not surprised that I'm in the bottom.
49:01However, I'm excited to lip sync again.
49:03That's where I come alive.
49:05So, bring it on.
49:08Two queens.
49:09Stand before me.
49:11Ladies, this is your last chance to impress me and save yourself from elimination.
49:20The time has come for you to lip sync for your life.
49:29She has sent two people home, but this is my place here and I'm about to have to fight to
49:34stay here.
49:35Good luck.
49:36And don't fuck it up.
49:40Right now, I'm in a third mile.
49:44I wanna be in luck all the time.
49:49Ain't got no tears left to cry.
49:52So, I'm picking it up, picking it up.
49:54I'm loving, I'm living, I'm picking it up.
49:56I'm picking it up, picking it up.
49:58Loving, I'm living, so we turn it up.
50:00Yeah, we turn it up.
50:03I ain't got no tears in my body.
50:05I ran up a boy.
50:07I like it.
50:08I like it.
50:09I like it.
50:10No matter how, what, what, who tries it.
50:13We out here vibing.
50:15We vibing.
50:16We vibing.
50:17Come and I.
50:19Even when it's raining down, can't stop me.
50:23Can't stop, so shut your mouth.
50:25Yeah.
50:26And if you don't know, then I ain't know it, babe.
50:30Know it, babe.
50:31Yeah.
50:32I am just basking in the words.
50:35I'm really trying to punch the song in the face
50:37and really show the judges I want to stay here.
50:41I am 1000% determined to survive.
50:43I just want you to come with me.
50:46We are the love of mentality.
50:50Ain't got no tears left to cry.
50:53So, I'm picking it up, picking it up.
50:55I'm loving, I'm living, I'm picking it up.
50:57Come and I believe when this rhythm goes.
51:00I don't care, stop, now.
51:03We'll hold it, shut your mouth.
51:06Ain't got no tears left to cry.
51:08Oh, yeah.
51:10Oh, yeah.
51:11I just want you to come with me.
51:15We are the love of mentality.
51:18Ain't got no tears left to cry.
51:21So, I'm picking it up, picking it up.
51:23I'm loving, I'm living, I'm picking it up.
51:25You're not pretending it up.
51:33Ladies, I've made my decision.
51:42Simone, Shantae, you stay.
51:49Thank you very much.
51:50Not again.
51:52Not again.
51:53You may join the other girls.
52:00Syracuse.
52:01Schenectady.
52:02Utica.
52:03Next stop, the world.
52:06Keep on wiggling, sis.
52:09Thank you so much.
52:09Now, Rue, I have one thing to say.
52:15Thank you, really.
52:16This has been magical, and I love each and every one of you.
52:19You're amazing, so thank you.
52:21Now, sashay away.
52:28Well, when you think you can't, you'da can.
52:32Bye for you, guys.
52:33Bye.
52:35As I'm sashaying away, I'm feeling honestly happy.
52:40For my first roast, at least I know I have potential.
52:44And I know that I got some good singers in there.
52:46I don't know.
52:47Maybe in the near future, I could become an expert roaster.
52:50So, that makes me happy.
52:53You gotta wiggle to the top.
52:59Condragulations, ladies.
53:00And remember, if you can't love yourself, how in the hell are you gonna love somebody else?
53:05Can I get an amen up in here?
53:06Amen!
53:07All right, now let the music play.