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00:00From Hollywood, it's Jimmy Kimmel Live.
00:04Tonight, Meryl Streep and Desi Leiden with the Kratos.
00:11And now, Jimmy Kimmel Live!
00:34I'm Jimmy. I'm the host of the show.
00:36I appreciate that.
00:38Thank you for watching. Thank you for joining us here in Hollywood.
00:43I'm glad you're here.
00:46I'm glad. You know what? I'm glad I'm here.
00:48It's not something I take for granted anymore.
00:50Please relax. You know, this morning when I woke up,
00:53I woke up to my wife shooting video of me with her phone.
00:56I don't know what's going on, but it turns out she was shooting me
00:59to let me know the president gave me another shout-out today.
01:04What's that?
01:05Donald Trump wants you fired again.
01:09I haven't even been fired once. How could I be fired again?
01:14He posted again. He's calling for you to be fired
01:16because you're unfunny and you're low-rated.
01:20Well, those are good reasons.
01:26Let's get out of bed and deal with this.
01:28So then I unearthed myself from all 30 of our pillows.
01:36And I grabbed one of the 25 pairs of reading glasses off my nightstand,
01:40and I see the following.
01:42When is ABC fake news network firing seriously unfunny Jimmy Kimmel,
01:47who incompetently presides over one of the lowest-rated shows on television?
01:52People are angry.
01:53It better be soon.
01:55Or what?
01:57You'll...
02:01Thank you for booing. I appreciate it.
02:04If incompetently presiding over not just one of them, but the lowest rating in history is the reason I should
02:10be fired,
02:10we should both be out of a job because we're not doing too good either.
02:17He also called into Newsmax this afternoon to call me a lowlife and demand I be fired again.
02:23He... this guy is so mad, you would think I posted a picture of seashells or something.
02:28Isn't there a war dragging on?
02:30Imagine if FDR had taken to the airwaves during the Battle of the Bulge
02:35to complain about a Little Orphan Annie comic strip he didn't like.
02:38Trump has three wars going on right now.
02:41Iranians, Ukrainians, and comedians.
02:44And I do want to commend the hand... the small handful of Republicans
02:48who've spoken out to support our First Amendment rights.
02:51Senator Ted Cruz again.
02:53Senator Rand Paul again.
02:55And Congressman James Comer.
02:57Every one of these guys I've made fun of repeatedly and viciously on this show.
03:01And you know what not one of them has done?
03:03Pressured ABC to fire me for it.
03:06You know...
03:08I'll say another thing.
03:11During the campaign for president, there was a man, a very prominent Republican man,
03:16who seemed to be against this idea of muzzling people you don't agree with.
03:19We reject censorship, blacklisting, and cancel culture
03:25because we know that the lifeblood of a free society is free speech.
03:31Ridiculous cancel culture will be wiped out entirely.
03:36Cancel culture. I hate the term, actually.
03:38Cancel culture.
03:39I'm not a believer in cancel culture.
03:41Cancel culture. Congressman, there'll be no cancel culture.
03:44Reject left-wing cancel culture.
03:46And we will restore the right to free speech in America.
03:50You don't have free speech anymore.
03:52The goal of cancel culture is to make decent Americans live in fear of being fired.
04:00I did say decent Americans. I don't think I qualify.
04:03I hate to say this, and I hope it doesn't get me in trouble.
04:05I'm starting to think Donald Trump might be a hypocrite.
04:09I also noticed something interesting.
04:11Put the post from this morning back up.
04:13Okay.
04:13When is ABC Fake News Network firing Seriously Unfunny's Jimmy Kimmel,
04:17who incompetently presides over one of the lowest-rated shows on television?
04:20People are angry. It better be soon.
04:22Okay.
04:23So this is what the president posted yesterday about Iran.
04:26Iran can't get their act together.
04:28They don't know how to sign a non-nuclear deal.
04:30They better get smart soon.
04:32Why am I getting the same threats he's giving to Iran?
04:36Let me explain something.
04:39I want to make something clear.
04:43I am not the Ayatollah.
04:46Guillermo, do I look like the Ayatollah?
04:48A little bit.
04:50Sorry.
04:51The beard. I know what you mean.
04:52I know.
04:53I'm worried this conflict is going to escalate.
04:56He might put a blockade on Hollywood Boulevard.
04:58Nobody will be able to get in.
04:59I think it might be time for us to figure this out because it's getting crazy.
05:02Here's what I suggest.
05:03We don't have to meet face-to-face. I know you're busy.
05:06Send a delegation.
05:07Send J.D. Vance and Jared and your friend the real estate broker.
05:12Send them all.
05:13We can meet in a neutral location like Pakistan or, I don't know, Van Nuys.
05:19We could go to the Buffalo Wild Wings down the street.
05:22Let's see if we can come up with a ceasefire agreement.
05:25This could be good for both of us.
05:26I get to keep my job.
05:28You get to end your 11th war.
05:30What do you say?
05:30We can help each other.
05:32We can be like...
05:36We can be like Larry and Magic.
05:38Let me show you how easy this partnership could be.
05:42It's the seriously unfunny Jimmy Kimmel Live.
05:46That's right.
05:47Watch as total loser Jimmy Kimmel
05:50incompetently presides over one of the lowest-rated shows on television.
05:54What?
05:55Tune in fast before he's fired like a dog.
05:58Has there ever been a worse host than stupid Jimmy Kimmel?
06:02I wonder who he's talking about there.
06:03Find out tonight on the ABC Fake News Network.
06:07Jimmy, I love you so much.
06:10See that?
06:11Come on.
06:11Let's tear down these walls.
06:14That Mexico paid for.
06:16Between the seriously unfunny me and the highly overrated Meryl Streep,
06:20tonight's show could be one of Trump's least favorite episodes yet.
06:24And, of course, all of this is meant to distract us from the prices he didn't lower on day one
06:33and from the Trump-Epstein files that his attorney general refuses to release and distract us from the illegal war
06:40he started and can't figure out how to get out of.
06:42This is week nine of a war that he told us would last four to five weeks.
06:46Today, the president was briefed on options for additional strikes on Iran.
06:50Of course, we've already spent $50 billion bombing them.
06:53But this time, the plan's to do it again and expect a different result.
06:57Talks have stalled.
06:58That AI-generated meme of him with a machine gun didn't do the trick.
07:02And now, the finance guys on Wall Street who came up with the acronym TACO, which is short for Trump
07:07always chickens out, have a new one.
07:09It's nacho, which stands for not a chance Hormuz opens.
07:14Taco and nacho. Even his favorite snacks have turned against him.
07:19But fortunately for the president, he has a legion of hardcore apple polishers on cable news, putting a positive spin
07:26on every dumb thing he does.
07:28Whether you like him or not, any fair-minded person would have to conclude that President Trump has oranges the
07:40size of beach balls.
07:41He will eat your liver with some fava beans and a nice chiante.
07:50I guess you can't have that accent and know about wine.
07:54But, chiante, isn't she married to Nellie, chiante?
07:59Even his balls are orange. That's a fun revelation.
08:02One man who has been very notably quiet on the subject of Operation Endless Fury is Vice President J.D.
08:10Vance.
08:11You know, during the campaign, J.D. Vance said he thought military conflict with Iran was a bad idea
08:16and that the main reason he was endorsing Trump was to keep us out of these so-called forever wars.
08:21According to Atlantic Magazine, behind the scenes, Vance has repeatedly questioned the Pentagon's depiction of how the war's going.
08:29He's said to be worried that no one's being straight about what's happening in the strait
08:33and that he believes Pete Hegseth and other officials are telling Trump only what he wants to hear.
08:40Plus, Vance has been raising concerns about munition shortages because he knows if we run out of missiles,
08:45Trump is going to launch him in an Iranian warship.
08:48Obviously, this is not something that would please his majesty, being second-guessed by his second banana,
08:54so J.D. had to go on TV to try to distance himself from himself.
08:59Sources withinside your office are telling The Atlantic that you've been expressing some real concerns
09:06about missile depletion through the war with Iran.
09:09So, first of all, most of these reports I ignore. This one I actually read because it, you know,
09:15it ascribed views to me and things that I had allegedly said that I am just 100% certain that
09:20I have never said.
09:22That didn't sound like a denial to me. I mean, these things I allegedly said don't sound like I said
09:28them.
09:29Maybe I whimpered something like that, but did I say it? Well, I guess you'd have to ask me.
09:36You know what I love best? I love when they have to deny, to deny saying something that made sense.
09:41I always wonder what's going through J.D. Vance's mind.
09:44This afternoon, out of nowhere, Trump blurted this out of his little nubs.
09:47He wrote,
09:48Anyone, anybody running for president or vice president should be forced to take a cognitive examination prior to entering the
09:54race.
09:55By doing so, we wouldn't be surprised at people like Barack Hussein Obama or sleepy Joe Biden getting elected.
10:02Our country would be a much better place.
10:04I took the exam three times during my three terms as president and aced it all three times.
10:10An achievement that even on a single exam, according to the doctors, has rarely been done before.
10:15This is an exam, by the way, that begins with,
10:19Can you tell the difference between a lion and an elephant? All right?
10:23But I agree, president should take this test every week, preferably live on this program.
10:29He is so proud of passing this remedial...
10:36He's repeated this story now 50 times.
10:39That alone is a sign you didn't pass the cognitive impairment test.
10:44Thinking you've had three terms as president means you are cognitively impaired.
10:49Now, I have an idea, though. Why don't you and Obama face off?
10:53Take this test together, head-to-head. Winner gets to finish out your term, huh?
10:59Come on, now.
11:02So, um, the king, the one from England, is headed to Bermuda tonight.
11:08He and the queen today took a tour of the Shenandoah Valley in Virginia to get a look at all
11:13the beautiful land they used to own.
11:15Um, they also got a royal send-off at the White House this morning.
11:18And it would appear that the special relationship between us and the UK is even more special than ever before.
11:24Your majesty, what do you think of, uh, the Trump renaissance here in B.C., all the improvements?
11:30Ah.
11:31Yeah.
11:31Let's see.
11:37We'll talk later.
11:41Do the...
11:41Is there, like, a...
11:43Is there a British version of Auco Taco?
11:46Is that, like...
11:47Maybe Dodgy Lodgy or something?
11:49It seems like the king stayed one night too many.
11:52Now that the king is gone, though, the president and his GOP ons can focus their energy on royally screwing
11:57with the midterms.
11:58Yesterday, the Supreme Court ruled to essentially gut the Voting Rights Act, and then RFK Jr. ran over and ate
12:06it.
12:06The Voting Rights Act is or was a landmark civil rights law that prohibits racial discrimination when it comes to
12:13voting
12:13and ensures that all citizens have equal access to the ballot, or at least it did until yesterday.
12:19Uh, today, the Republican governor of Louisiana is using this ruling as an excuse to delay an election for May
12:2616th,
12:27an election that has already begun.
12:29Absentee votes have already been cast, but they want to throw that all away and change it.
12:35They want to redraw their voting districts.
12:37Imagine if a football team had an injured quarterback and forced the NFL to delay the Super Bowl a few
12:42weeks until he got better.
12:44That's what this is like.
12:45They claim that they're doing it to take race out of the equation by making sure that only white people
12:51are elected to office.
12:53This country is like a game of Jenga right now.
12:56One good sneeze and we are done.
12:58Other red states are talking now about pulling the same maneuver, including Tennessee and South Carolina,
13:05home of Senator and Little Mermaid bubble wand enthusiast Lindsey Graham.
13:09You know, part of the new, uh, media arrangement in Washington is they've opened it up to previously unwelcomed outlets
13:16like TMZ.
13:17TMZ has guys with cameras everywhere now.
13:19And I have to admit, I'm enjoying having them there because if we didn't, we wouldn't get moments like this.
13:25Could I ask just, where is that bubble wand now at this point in time? Where is it?
13:29You know, I don't know.
13:30You don't know?
13:31Uh, I didn't buy it for me.
13:33Who'd you buy it for?
13:35For a friend's girl.
13:37For a friend.
13:38Is the friend's girl speaking to us right now?
13:43I believe him.
13:44I also believe he has ten other bubble wands at home.
13:47And then we have the Wall Street Journal reporting that Amazon, the company who brought us Melania the movie,
13:52is in talks to reboot a little-known reality show called The Apprentice.
13:56And this time, it would be hosted by Donald Trump Jr.
14:01It's all part of their plan to fill the one remaining hour of the day when there isn't a Donald
14:06Trump on television.
14:08Amazon issued a statement saying,
14:09Since our acquisition of MGM, we've had preliminary internal discussions about what's next for The Apprentice as a property,
14:16and how we can best leverage that to further suckle the president's teeth.
14:21I hope they do it.
14:23Don Jr.'s gonna be a terrific...
14:24Talk about charisma.
14:26I mean, he is...
14:27And don't worry, Eric.
14:28Amazon's working on something for you, too.
14:29They want you to be the guy at the warehouse who makes sure when their employees are peeing into the
14:34Gatorade bottles,
14:35they don't get it on the floor.
14:37And one more thing before we forge ahead.
14:39It is Thursday night, and that means it's time to bleep and blur the big TV moments of the week.
14:43It is this week in Unnecessary Censorship.
14:50That was President Trump's call for Jimmy Kimmel to be f***ed.
14:53The First Lady also f***ing the late-night host today.
14:56The King's Address is less about f***y and more about d***ing, right?
15:00Hey, Anna, good morning, and that's exactly right.
15:02Thank you very much, everybody.
15:04What a beautiful British d*** this is.
15:09I feel like I walked in, and I feel like I immediately, like, get d***ed in my throat.
15:13You know what I mean?
15:14There was a little bit of a hiccup aboard the chief after one of the sailors was f***ed by a
15:20monkey during a stop in Thailand.
15:22And by the way, people have been wondering what happened to those 2,600 d***s from Saturday night.
15:26Well, they will be eaten eventually.
15:29You can just send us, maybe you've got a cute picture of your d***.
15:32We love looking at it, and maybe it will show up right here on the morning news.
15:35The singer and Trump supporter joined Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth to f*** on an army helicopter yesterday.
15:41Today, I have our pal, Kai. He's about 2 years old. He's a mixed breed, and he has a huge
15:47f***.
15:50Adorable. Well, we've got a great show for tonight from The Daily Show. Desi Leideth is here.
15:55And we'll be right back with Meryl Streep.
15:58Everybody wants to be a genie.
16:04I'm not the only one.
16:10Nobody wants to be a genie.
16:13Welcome back.
16:16We've got a good show tonight. A very funny person whom you can see with Frequency on The Daily Show,
16:21Desi Leideth is with us.
16:23Next week, we have new shows with an outstanding lineup of guests, including Steve Carell, Jelly Roll, John Mulaney, Aza
16:32Gonzalez, Nicole Byer, Katrina Balfe, and Iron Mike Tyson will be here with music from Social Distortion, Mike Patton, and
16:40the Avett Brothers.
16:41So please join. And sitting in with the Cletones tonight, a very talented singer and songwriter.
16:46This is her new album. It's called Songs of Douglas and Littell.
16:50And she worked on it with our own Jeff Babco on keyboards.
16:53And Nara George is here with us. Hello, Nara.
16:57I'm gonna be in here.
16:59Our first kiss tonight might very well be the greatest actor of all time, and I'll fight you if you
17:05say she ain't.
17:06She is back as Miranda Priestly in The Devil Wears Prada 2.
17:10It opens in theaters tomorrow. Please welcome Meryl Streep.
17:34Welcome, welcome.
17:55You must get this all, you must get this every time you go out, huh?
17:58Every time I come home.
18:00How are you doing?
18:01Everything all right?
18:02Everything all right.
18:03How are you?
18:04Good.
18:04I'm good, thank you.
18:05You know, I'm holding up.
18:06Yeah, you are.
18:08You're a prince.
18:09You are a knight templar.
18:11You are.
18:12Please, thank you.
18:16You're carrying the banner of freedom of the press.
18:20I'm just trying to do some jokes and, you know.
18:23Yeah, but we all depend on you.
18:25Well, thank you for saying that.
18:27And the world is listening.
18:28I've just come around the world.
18:30Well, you're very kind to say that.
18:33I'm honored particularly to hear that from you because, I mean, honestly, you get embarrassed
18:38when people, they must gush over you all the time, I would imagine.
18:42Everywhere you go, you probably get it.
18:44You know, I don't think they know me.
18:46Is that true?
18:47Yeah.
18:48Um, no.
18:50I mean, yeah.
18:51What don't we know about you?
18:52You're uncomfortable praise, it seems.
18:54I don't like getting dressed up.
18:55You don't?
18:55Okay.
18:56A. I just had a big fight with my stylist.
18:59You did.
19:01Because they wanted me to wear ostrich feathers.
19:04And I just thought, it's Jimmy.
19:08I just want to, you know.
19:09Well, you know what?
19:09I don't think you needed the ostrich.
19:10And, by the way, the ostrich now is running around naked.
19:12So you've got to think about that.
19:14I know, for nothing.
19:16You were out on Hollywood Boulevard today.
19:18Yeah.
19:18Which I wouldn't, I would not recommend.
19:20Yeah.
19:21You were honoring two of your very close friends,
19:25Stanley Tucci and Emily Blunt.
19:27Yes.
19:28Who were getting their stars on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.
19:30Yeah.
19:30The co-stars.
19:32I think we have a photograph here.
19:34On the left, we've got Dwayne The Rock Johnson.
19:36We've got Robert Downey Jr.
19:38We've got Stanley Tucci.
19:39We have Emily Blunt.
19:40We have Meryl Streep.
19:41And other.
19:44Yeah.
19:45What was he doing there?
19:47Well.
19:47Was he just out there and he walked into the shot?
19:50He just wanted to be there.
19:53Yeah.
19:54It's sad, isn't it?
19:56They have given him a star.
19:58They did?
19:59Very far away.
20:00Oh.
20:01Not in Hollywood.
20:03It wasn't adjacent to these.
20:05It's in Eagle Rock, right?
20:06The star?
20:09No.
20:09I think it's probably even further.
20:12Good.
20:13But, yeah, he was there to pay tribute to Emily.
20:19And so was The Rock.
20:21And so was Robert Downey Jr.
20:23And I was there to pay tribute to Stanley.
20:27But then Matt Damon paid tribute to him, too.
20:32Oh.
20:33Unannounced, unasked for.
20:35Oh.
20:37I mean.
20:38He's always pushing himself.
20:40And then he wanted to come with me tonight.
20:41He did?
20:42Yeah.
20:44He gave a speech.
20:45He gave a very nice speech about Stanley.
20:47But you referred to yourself as a whiner in that speech, which I find hard to believe.
20:51No.
20:52I referred to myself as the world's greatest whiner.
20:56The world's greatest whiner.
20:57Yes.
20:57I guess that's better than being a piece of wine.
20:58But that's what Stanley and I bond on that.
21:01Because we both complain.
21:02Because, basically, we have nothing to complain about.
21:05Right.
21:05Really.
21:06Really?
21:06Let's face it.
21:08But we do enjoy, you know, bitching about things.
21:13You know?
21:14Everything.
21:15Doesn't everybody like to do that?
21:17I mean, it's...
21:18It is fun.
21:19It's my hobby.
21:21My wife sometimes says to me, like, we should not be, you know, complaining about things in
21:26front of the kids.
21:27And then I go, yeah, yeah, you're right.
21:29And I go, yeah, but it's so much fun.
21:30It is so much fun.
21:32How are they gonna learn to complain about everything that happens to them?
21:35Exactly.
21:36Exactly.
21:36What do you have more of now?
21:38Oscars or grandchildren?
21:41Oh, definitely grandchildren.
21:43Grandchildren.
21:43How many?
21:43I have six.
21:45And what are their ages?
21:46Seven, four, four, three, two, and one.
21:51No.
21:52No.
21:52Seven, four, four, three, three, one.
21:56That's all fun ages, right?
21:58Seven, five, four, four, three, three, one.
22:03Dialogue numbers.
22:04It's changing.
22:05It's becoming birthdays.
22:09I think you just accidentally gave out your social security number.
22:12No, no.
22:12It could be.
22:13But see, last summer it was great because they were six, five, four, three, two, one.
22:17And then now they have a lot of birthdays.
22:20They have to just kind of stay in line to make it easier.
22:23They just make it easier for me.
22:23What do they call you?
22:25They call me Mimi.
22:26Mimi, okay.
22:27Did you tell them to call you Mimi or did the first one come up with that?
22:30The first one came up with it, yeah.
22:31Oh, yeah.
22:31I'm waiting for my granddaughter is almost about to turn one, but I'm waiting to find out what my name
22:39is going to be.
22:40Well, you probably would have heard it by now.
22:43Well, she's not speaking yet.
22:44So, yeah.
22:45Yeah.
22:45I mean, she says, you know, the kind of things, but not really.
22:48Not enough.
22:49Eh.
22:49Eh.
22:49Yeah.
22:50Maybe mine will be eh.
22:53Are you a cool grandma?
22:55I don't know.
22:56I'm a, I'm a, hmm.
22:58I think I'm a little like Miranda Priestley as a grandma.
23:02Really?
23:03Hmm.
23:04Because I like the rules, dear.
23:06Oh.
23:08You know, rules.
23:09Have you fired any of the children?
23:13No, but, you know, they're, they're, they're.
23:17Do these kids get to hear you read to them?
23:20Do you read to them?
23:21Sure.
23:22Oh, wow.
23:23They have no idea how good they have it.
23:27Yeah.
23:27Let's, yesterday, BJ Novak sent over, so he's in The Devil Wears Probably.
23:33Uh-huh.
23:33And he, he also wrote a children's book.
23:35That's my kid's favorite book.
23:37Yeah.
23:37And he just sent it over and they, we, I was really mad at him because we had to read
23:42it nine times in a row.
23:45So.
23:45The book with no pictures, right?
23:47The book with no pictures.
23:47And it is.
23:48It's so good.
23:49It's a great book.
23:49It's also torture for any adult who has to read it.
23:53Yeah.
23:53It requires a lot, but, oh, boy.
23:55A lot of big acting.
23:56Yeah.
23:56He would love to hear you read that.
23:58So you really put, do you.
23:59Oh, yeah.
24:00You, oh, you do.
24:01Yeah.
24:01Maybe I'll do the audio book or something.
24:03Yeah.
24:04I think they, I think they came out a while ago, but I'm sure they would redo it for you.
24:09We do, uh, have you done Harry Potter?
24:11Have you read that to the kids?
24:12Oh, sure.
24:13Yeah.
24:13I read that to Louisa, who's now 34.
24:15But I.
24:16Oh.
24:18The whole thing?
24:19Not recently.
24:20I read it when she was, you know, in like the third grade or something.
24:24We're halfway through it with my kids.
24:26Are you?
24:26Yeah.
24:26Yeah.
24:26Yeah.
24:27They like it.
24:28I, um, enjoy reading it.
24:30Uh, do you do the characters when you read it?
24:32Of course.
24:32You do the, I heard you do the characters.
24:34I, no, I do one, I only do Hagrid.
24:37That is the only character that I do.
24:39That's, that's my character.
24:41And sometimes I accidentally do Hagrid when it's other characters speaking.
24:47I'm not you.
24:48Let's put it that way.
24:49I like that.
24:50You do all of the characters.
24:52I'm just trying to, yes, imagine Snape as, you know, going,
24:58That's more like Hagrid.
25:01I do Hagrid.
25:02Yo.
25:03Yeah.
25:03That's a good Hagrid.
25:05It's better than my Hagrid.
25:07Do you pick up when people are, you're speaking to people and they have an interesting way of talking or
25:12an accent or something like that?
25:13Do you tuck it away?
25:16Yeah.
25:16My kids have made fun of me over the years because back in the days when, you know, you could
25:23talk to an operator on the phone for some reason, you're calling somewhere.
25:28I would, if somebody had an accent, I would start to speak like them, like this, you know, a little
25:36bit weird.
25:37Yeah.
25:38And they didn't like it?
25:39No.
25:39Yeah.
25:39Yeah.
25:40Yeah.
25:41I mean, I don't know if the peop, yeah, probably the people didn't like it, but the kids didn't like
25:45it.
25:45I bet the people didn't notice and the kids didn't like it.
25:48The kids didn't like it.
25:48There's something about your mom answering the phone that is bothersome for whatever reason.
25:53Yeah.
25:54I don't know what it is, but it's like all of a sudden she's friendly and you're like, who is
25:58this?
26:00That's really true.
26:02Yeah, right?
26:03Yeah.
26:03Yeah.
26:04Because, yeah, usually I'm kind of, stop it.
26:08You know?
26:09What are you doing?
26:11Well, we're going to take a break and see a clip from the new movie The Devil Wears Prada 2.
26:15Meryl Streep is here with us.
26:17I'd love it.
26:22You ready, ready, over time?
26:27When the tension was dull and listless?
26:30I wouldn't say that was the goal.
26:33When the models were encouraged to mill around like starving goats in the parking lot
26:40of a methadone clinic in New Jersey.
26:43What?
26:44Can't say.
26:45what am i not allowed to say methadone new jersey anyway this was our first time
26:52using this photographer so we can do a reshoot just you know fix it that is meryl street
27:02do you get the sense you've been in a lot of movies do you sense how much excitement there
27:08is for this one wow i i yeah i i was not aware no i'm not on no
27:14i'm not on instagram or tick tock or any anything really i'll all i do is read the news you
27:21know
27:21how do you know if the president attacks you
27:28yeah no but so i wasn't aware but when we we started the press tour i've just really come around
27:35the world uh and we went to mexico city new york tokyo seoul shanghai back to new york london
27:44back here and this is it this is it yeah and everywhere we went it was just like this
27:55anticipation affection i mean appetite for this movie which i wasn't aware of i mean
28:03i knew it was a popular movie 20 years ago right but i had no idea that there was this
28:09sort of big big big feel for it there is people well people love the first movie so much and
28:16it's
28:16not just the first time but over and over and over again yeah people watch it and then there's a
28:21lot
28:21of pressure to deliver you know to make sure this one's is good right yes there is this is
28:32yeah i'm sorry to bring it up but i'm glad we didn't it didn't happen at the beginning of your
28:36press tour the um i heard you recruited lady gaga to be in oh yeah yeah that turned out well
28:42did
28:42somebody ask you to call her and ask her to be in the movie well they they wanted there was
28:48a it was
28:48written that there would be a pop star that would sing live at a on the runway in milan we
28:55were gonna
28:55have this big um big show there and i thought well why don't we get gaga because she's so great
29:02and she loves fashion and i had her number
29:11you gave her a ring i gave her a ring and i love this girl i love her so much
29:18she is so game
29:19she just said yeah i said well i haven't asked you what i'm going to ask you she said yeah
29:25anything
29:26what do you want does anybody ever reject you this has ever happened to you besides obviously your
29:31kids uh it has happened yes yeah but no this was this was a big a big get for us
29:41we were really
29:42really thrilled because she's spectacular she's written three songs for us great and she's a great
29:47actor too she's a great actor great actress a little too good in the scene i had with her
29:54she was fantastic and i just got to watch her um you know she was on a world tour i
30:01think it was a
30:01year-long world tour and she just came in flew in just on the day and set up and did
30:09this numerous
30:10times you'll see it's a big big set that where she sings and uh she did it differently every time
30:16elaborate costumes she kept throwing out the dresses saying i don't like this you know and
30:21and um she finally found the thing that worked and you could see it work you could see it work
30:33and she had you know she just tore us up have you thought about running for president because you
30:38would be a good president everybody would like you you could talk to the leaders of other countries and
30:50and imitate them back to themselves.
30:54Oh, God.
30:55You know, you're making my glasses fog up.
30:58That's right.
31:00It's great to see you.
31:01Great to see you, Jimmy.
31:01We look forward to the film.
31:02It's called The Devil Wears Prada 2.
31:04It opens in theaters tomorrow.
31:05Meryl Streep, everybody.
31:07We'll be back with Desi Lattie.
31:20John Mulaney, plus music from Social Distortion and Avett
31:24Patton.
31:38That has been Nara George sitting in with the Cleetones.
31:41Our next guest is an Emmy winner and one of the hosts
31:44of The Daily Show.
31:45Watch It and Her weeknights on Comedy Central.
31:47Please welcome Desi Lydic.
32:10How are you?
32:12Desi, I didn't mean to interrupt your Guillermo moment.
32:16I know you were headed to him and then I popped out
32:18and ruined the whole thing.
32:19I can't, but we were, we had a moment.
32:21There was, the chemistry was palpable and you just really
32:25I could see that.
32:25Yeah, he was glowing when you came out and vice versa.
32:29Are you excited to be in Meryl's seat right now?
32:32I can't.
32:32Oh, it's got to be good luck, right?
32:35You know what?
32:36I got a bone to pick with you because.
32:37What?
32:38First of all, every week when I host,
32:40I have to follow Jon Stewart.
32:42And now I come here and you're going to make me follow Meryl Streep?
32:46Oh, listen, you follow the greats.
32:48You know, that's how it goes.
32:49That's how, yeah.
32:50You, uh, by the way, you do a great job on the show.
32:52I think you do a great job.
32:55We, um, did you meet Meryl, by the way, or no?
32:59I did not get to meet her.
33:00Oh, oh, I'm sorry.
33:01Did not get to meet her, but I will tell you,
33:03my very first TV job that I ever had, it was a hidden camera
33:08prank show.
33:09Don't think too hard about it.
33:10Okay.
33:11And when the show was about to premiere,
33:13they asked all of the cast members to put together a bio,
33:16but they said, make it funny.
33:18And at the time, I had zero credits to my name.
33:20I was waiting tables.
33:21I was doing bit parts here and there.
33:23So I thought it would be funny to just take Meryl Streep's bio
33:27and copy and paste it under my name.
33:30And I did that, and they were like, this is great.
33:32But the joke is now on me because every now and again,
33:36people will come up to me and be like, oh, so how,
33:40what was it like going to Yale drama school to be like,
33:44funny story.
33:46You're a three-time Oscar winner now.
33:48You were nominated for 21 Oscars?
33:50That can't be right.
33:52Yeah, so I like to apologize to Meryl.
33:54You started before The Daily Show and before that prank show,
33:58or maybe not before it, you came out here to be an actor,
34:01to act.
34:02Yes.
34:02And were you in any, like, big movies
34:04or anything like that?
34:05Well, I hate to break it to you, Jimmy.
34:07I was in a movie with your nemesis.
34:12I was in We Bought a Zoo.
34:14Oh.
34:17He's our nemesis.
34:19Oh, you were in We Bought a Zoo.
34:20I was in We Bought a Zoo.
34:22Oh, and is that why you decided to stop acting?
34:25Yes.
34:25And go to New York and be on The Daily Show?
34:29Oh, I'm so sorry he did that to you.
34:31Hey.
34:32I played Lasagna Mom.
34:35Really?
34:36For real?
34:36You all remember Lasagna Mom, right?
34:39Why was it Lasagna Mom?
34:41She was offering Matt Damon a very heavy lasagna,
34:45as one does.
34:46Did he eat it?
34:47He probably ate the whole thing.
34:48He probably ate the whole thing.
34:49You know what?
34:50I love Matt Damon, but for the sake of this,
34:52I'll pretend like I don't.
34:54I'll pretend like I don't.
34:55I'm going to make you a shirt that says Lasagna Mom on it,
34:57if you would agree to wear it.
34:58I will wear it.
34:59If you invite me back, I'll wear it on the show.
35:01OK, great.
35:01OK, good.
35:02Yeah.
35:02It's going to be like XXL, because I
35:04think that's the only way to make a Lasagna Mom shirt,
35:08is to make a big one.
35:09It's the only way you can do it.
35:11Yeah.
35:11Are you like, were you too interested in politics in a big way
35:17before you started hosting The Daily Show?
35:19No.
35:20I don't know what I'm doing there.
35:21I have no idea what I'm doing.
35:23It's something that came.
35:24Well, it was the same for me.
35:25I was like, I wasn't super focused on this stuff.
35:27Yeah.
35:27And then it became something that you cannot ignore.
35:31You certainly can't.
35:32You cannot ignore it.
35:34You can't.
35:36Oh, man.
35:36They're both going out.
35:37You got Melania and Trump going after you.
35:40Yeah.
35:40Yeah.
35:40I will say it's kind of sweet the way you've unified them.
35:43You've really brought them to the world.
35:45You know, I tried.
35:47That's why I did it.
35:48Yeah.
35:50You have done what no marriage counselor has been able to accomplish.
35:54So good for you.
35:57I'm happy for them.
35:58Do your parents watch The Daily Show?
36:01They watch Fox News.
36:02They do.
36:03I know that about you.
36:04They do, but they also watch The Daily Show.
36:06They're very loving, supportive parents.
36:07That's got to be difficult for them.
36:08It is.
36:10It shows how much they unconditionally love their children because we don't always agree
36:15on a lot of things.
36:16Your parents are conservative people.
36:18Yeah.
36:19They are.
36:20Do they get mad at you?
36:22No.
36:22No.
36:23For the stuff that you say?
36:24No.
36:24No.
36:25No.
36:25They have a good sense of humor.
36:27And they...
36:27Do you want to be with them?
36:29Uh...
36:30We...
36:30No.
36:30We have interesting conversations.
36:32Okay.
36:32All right.
36:33That's good.
36:33We have interesting conversations with, you know, over cards and...
36:36And a little bourbon.
36:37Uh-huh.
36:38Yeah.
36:39But, uh, no, we...
36:40We...
36:40We navigate it okay.
36:43You do?
36:43But I do...
36:44I'm sort of passive-aggressive about it.
36:45Like, when I go home, I'll kind of sneak into their phones and delete their Fox News apps.
36:50Like, I'll do things like that.
36:54Take it off the TV.
36:55Yeah.
36:56The clicker.
36:57Just delete all their episodes.
36:59You're hosting, um, next week.
37:01Yes.
37:01So you host...
37:02John hosts Monday.
37:03You host the rest of the week.
37:04That's right.
37:05And then, again, in June.
37:07Mm-hmm.
37:08So you guys...
37:08Because you're on a rotation there with the other hosts.
37:10Yeah.
37:11Do you...
37:11Do you get jealous?
37:13Do you hope that you get the good stories?
37:15Are you mad if you miss one?
37:17Yeah.
37:17How does it work there?
37:18Yeah.
37:18Yeah, we get...
37:18We're very cutthroat over there.
37:20We dislike one another deeply.
37:22No, we...
37:22We roll with it.
37:23You...
37:23Obviously, you can't control it.
37:25You never know what kind of week you're gonna get.
37:26But, yeah, you hope for a good, funny...
37:29Like, the...
37:29I happened to get the Kristi Noem husband shot.
37:34You guys...
37:36That's big.
37:36That's good.
37:37That was a gift.
37:37That was a gift from God.
37:38And my first hosting week...
37:40My first hosting week, I got Tucker Carlson getting fired, getting let go from Fox News.
37:46So that was...
37:47That...
37:47I was blessed.
37:48You have a very funny segment that I will watch on YouTube called Foxplains, where you Foxplain...
37:55Oh.
37:55And it is really good because you take these often misunderstood Fox News anchors, and you explain to the world
38:04what they mean, what they're saying, and it's very...
38:07Is that something your parents like?
38:09Because you're really digging in there.
38:11Well, I...
38:12First...
38:12First of all, I have to correct you, because now by executive order, it is the Donald J.
38:17Trump and Desi Lydic Foxplains presented by Donald J. Trump.
38:21And so that's a new thing.
38:24That's new.
38:24He's sponsoring the segment now?
38:26He is now.
38:27He put his name on it, so...
38:28Has...
38:29Is he...
38:29Is he paying for that?
38:30I have not seen a dime.
38:32You have not seen a dime.
38:32He said he will, but I have not seen a dime.
38:34No, my parents...
38:35My parents do get a kick out of that.
38:37How do you...
38:38Are you able to, when you're not working, detach from the news?
38:44Well, I...
38:45You know, for me, I feel like my coping mechanism was either going to be to get a puppy or
38:50to start a sports gambling addiction.
38:53Uh-huh.
38:53And after a lot of deliberation and a lot of money lost on the Jets, I decided to get a
38:58puppy.
38:59Good thinking.
39:00We have a new puppy at home.
39:02Oh, and how's that going?
39:04She's...
39:04Her name's Murphy Brown.
39:06Oh.
39:07All right.
39:07Yeah, she's got a mind of her own, and she might be a recovering alcoholic.
39:11I'm not sure.
39:13She's adorable and insane.
39:15What kind?
39:16She's...
39:16She's a...
39:17I don't know if this is going to sound...
39:18She's a Legoto Romagnolo.
39:20Whoa.
39:21Yeah, I know.
39:21It's annoying.
39:23Oh, those are those...
39:23Italian truffle-sniffing dogs, right?
39:25Yes, they're Italian.
39:25Oh, those are so cute.
39:25For what?
39:26In New York City, what does she get...
39:28She's not gonna...
39:28She'll find some stuff.
39:29Well, she did.
39:32She...
39:32She definitely did.
39:33What'd she find?
39:33So I take her for a walk, and I bring her back in.
39:36In about 40, 45 minutes, she starts acting weird.
39:40Like, oddly well-behaved.
39:44She was quiet, and she was just sitting there, and she was just kind of staring off.
39:49And I'm looking at her, and I'm like, something's going on.
39:51And I put my hand down to pet her, and she kind of moves in slow motion, and she goes
39:55like this, and she's looking at my hand.
39:58And I go to pick her up, and she vomits all over the edit.
40:03Oh, great.
40:04Yes, yes.
40:05Apologies to Jordan Klepper and his piece.
40:07It will never air.
40:08It was the one that was gonna save democracy.
40:10Oh, right.
40:11No one's gonna see it.
40:12So I'm freaking out, and I pick her up, and I take her to the vet, and I'm, like, carrying
40:16this 30-pound dog ten blocks up, and I rush in, and the vet comes out.
40:20God love her.
40:21And I'm like, I don't know what's going on.
40:23I think she got into something, but she's acting weird, and she's not acting like herself, and she threw up,
40:28and she's kind of dazed.
40:30Like, she just seems out of it, and the vet looks at her, and I go, I don't know any
40:35other way to explain it, but she seems, and the vet goes, hi?
40:40She seems hi?
40:41And I was like, yeah, she seems hi, and she goes, she's just gotta ride it out like everybody else.
40:47Was she out smoking in the alley?
40:49How did this happen?
40:50I think she picked something up off the sidewalk, like a gummy, maybe, or something.
40:54I don't know.
40:55Wow.
40:55Or in the office.
40:57Who knows?
40:57Yeah.
40:58I don't know.
40:59It sounds like an in the office type situation.
41:01I mean, I'm not saying it was Jon Stewart's stash, but it could have been.
41:07It could have been.
41:08And you know what?
41:09That's all we need to accuse him.
41:11Yeah.
41:11This is right.
41:12So I'm coping by getting a puppy.
41:14She's okay now?
41:14And she's coping by getting high.
41:16Yes.
41:16Yes.
41:16Okay.
41:17All right.
41:17Yeah.
41:17You got a high puppy.
41:19That's nice.
41:19You got a little Snoop dog.
41:20She's got a whole new...
41:22Well, it's very good to have you here.
41:24Desi Lydic, everybody.
41:26Watching Daily Show weeknights on Comedy Central.
41:28And Desi's hosting next week and the week of June 8th.
41:38Thanks to Meryl Streep, Desi Lydic, and Inara, George.
41:42Apologies to Matt Damon.
41:43We ran out of time for him.
41:45Nightline is next.
41:46Thanks for watching.
41:47Good night.
41:50Thanks.
41:54Please wait a little early...
41:54Well, that for Max and P...
41:57We're ready in the moment.
41:58Well, thank you.
41:59We're ready.
42:00We're ready for an opportunity to balance.
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