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Watch The Claudia Winkleman Show Season 1 Episode 2 online in HD on Dailymotion (2026).
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00:00Now you two, are you on a first date?
00:03Yeah, we are.
00:04We are.
00:05We are.
00:10No one else didn't want to spend it with.
00:11I don't know about you guys, I now have 18 questions.
00:14Where did you meet?
00:16We met at Gaines Run Club, which is essentially 200 gay men
00:21running down the Thames on a Saturday morning.
00:23Hot.
00:23Yeah, and I was, like, really sweaty and beetroot-faced.
00:28Yeah.
00:28Yeah.
00:28And he asked me out.
00:30Oh!
00:31And here you are.
00:32Here we are.
00:33I feel good about this.
00:34Yeah, I've got a good feeling about it.
00:35If you do get married, are we all invited?
00:38You're officiating it.
00:40Fine.
00:41I really hope this is your last date.
00:43Um...
01:12Um...
01:13who has a tattoo of a chicken nugget on his leg.
01:17Just some information, some take-out, if you will.
01:20We have an audience and some very lovely guests.
01:23And joining us on the sofa, she is a comedian and award-winning podcaster
01:28who's currently breaking records with her latest stand-up tour.
01:32It's Joanne McNally.
01:36Hello.
01:40Hello.
01:42Hello.
01:42Hello.
01:42He's the better-nominated creator and star of Man Like Mo Bean.
01:46He's now appearing in the Prime series, Bait.
01:50It's Gus Kahn!
01:51Oh, yeah, yeah.
01:56Adorable.
02:00She is a Golden Globe winner for West Side Story,
02:05an Olivier Award nominee for Evita,
02:07and now she's back at the London Palladium.
02:10It's Rachel Zeglar!
02:12CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
02:20And he's the singer-songwriter
02:23who found global boy band success with One Direction.
02:26He's now a chart-topping solo artist
02:29who's sold over 90 million records.
02:33Back with a brand-new album.
02:34It's Niall Horan!
02:36CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
02:39Don't do that.
02:40Look at you.
02:42Oh.
02:43Oh!
02:45Oh!
02:45What?
02:46Come on!
02:48What?
02:49What?
02:50What is that?
02:51What is that?
02:52What is that?
02:52CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
02:58Does that always happen, just screaming?
03:00Every single day of my life, I'm just walking into the shop, just...
03:05Drink, drink, have a beer.
03:06I'm not going to lie, I'm shitting myself, Claudia.
03:08No.
03:09I'll be honest, you should be.
03:11I have quite a few things to bring up with you, but...
03:14I'm joking.
03:15Yes, ma'am.
03:15Before that, it was St Patrick's Day this week.
03:18Niall, St Patrick's Day, is it a big deal in your world?
03:22Yeah.
03:23Well, we...
03:23I think how powerful Ireland is, like, culturally around the world.
03:28I'm like a little flag bearer going round, aren't we?
03:30Two of us just going round London, just going, we're from Ireland!
03:34And we love being Irish, so we're happy to celebrate any day, to be honest,
03:38but Paddy's Day is another excuse, isn't it?
03:40Erm, it's definitely growing legs worldwide.
03:43We're kind of the favourite.
03:44We're the favourite?
03:45Yeah, the favourite.
03:46People.
03:46And do you know, I know that, because I did a bit of digging,
03:49and the passport, the Irish passport, is the most expensive passport
03:53on the dark web.
03:55LAUGHTER
03:55Swear to God, guess how much it's worth?
03:58Go on.
03:59200 grand.
04:00You can sell them.
04:01Niall, you can sell yours when you run out of money.
04:04Now, I don't have the dark web, but once I figure out how to get on that,
04:07I'm going to sell mine and drive around in a Lamborghini made of lobster bound
04:11while some Russian gangster guy is going through American immigration
04:15without a bother on him.
04:17LAUGHTER
04:17I might not look like her, but I am her.
04:20Yeah, you just get the bangs, big shoulder pads, you'd be grand.
04:23Yeah, done.
04:24Um, Gus, do you have, do you love Ireland?
04:27I mean, I love it, but I don't 200 grand love it.
04:29Yeah.
04:30So you like it?
04:32Yeah, I like it.
04:32It's nice.
04:33So, Rachel, your best friend is your biggest fan.
04:39Right.
04:39Which I'm sure you get this a lot.
04:41When I was growing up and One Direction was getting very popular,
04:44I was getting into Les Miserables, so I wasn't really...
04:47Me too, me too.
04:49I've seen it multiple times.
04:51Yes, of course.
04:52And my best friend, when I was a kid, I've known her since I was one.
04:55Oh.
04:55Her name is Carly, and she had a cardboard cut out of you in her bedroom.
05:00So when we had sleepovers, do you know who watched me sleep?
05:05It's all coming back, it's all coming back to me now.
05:11It really is quite intense.
05:15Hello to her.
05:16Hi, Carly.
05:17Hello, Carly.
05:17Hi, Diva.
05:18Hi, Diva.
05:19Hi.
05:20Hi.
05:20Hi.
05:23Now, we need to talk about the new album.
05:25Yes.
05:33It's called Dinner Party.
05:34We have a visual here.
05:37Oh!
05:40There she is.
05:41Oh, my God.
05:42Guys, I'm not anti it, but is this going to happen all night?
05:46Yes.
05:47Yes.
05:47Um, yeah.
05:49OK.
05:49And the singles dinner party, it's out, I believe, now.
05:53Mm-hm.
05:53And it was written about a very special dinner party, wasn't it?
05:58Yeah.
05:58I wrote this song.
06:00The lyric kind of does...
06:01It's like Ronsell.
06:02It does exactly what it says in the tin.
06:04It tells you exactly what happened from the night I met my girlfriend.
06:09We were at...
06:09Aww.
06:10She was a late...
06:11You're not screaming now.
06:12LAUGHTER
06:14Um, she, uh, yeah, she was like a late addition to a party that I was at.
06:18And, um, yeah, I just got chatting to her, offered her a drink.
06:22We got chatting.
06:22Um, she says that we didn't kiss that night.
06:25I disagree.
06:26I think we did.
06:27LAUGHTER
06:28And, uh, it's one of those things that you don't expect to be...
06:33to be writing about, like, a big once-in-a-lifetime moment,
06:35and it kind of happened to me, which is pretty cool.
06:37So, I got to write about it.
06:39Can I also just say, the energy since you mentioned your incredible partner
06:42has changed in this...
06:44Yes!
06:46Before, it was all like, whoa, Niall!
06:49As soon as you brought her off...
06:50Niall.
06:51Don't mention it.
06:51I wasn't going to bring it up, Gus.
06:53I wasn't going to bring it up.
06:54It's going very quiet in here.
06:55LAUGHTER
06:57By the way, I just met her.
06:58She's...
06:59This is going to make it worse.
07:00Divine!
07:02APPLAUSE
07:02Oh, you're a happy feeling!
07:04There we go!
07:06APPLAUSE
07:08Do you like a dinner party?
07:10I'm nervous of a dinner party.
07:12I don't want a napkin in the shape of a swan.
07:15Yeah.
07:16Or a play set.
07:17I just worry that I'm going to do something wrong.
07:18Do you love a dinner party?
07:20It's something that I've definitely gotten into the older I've gotten.
07:23It's one of those things, it's a coming-of-age thing, isn't it?
07:26Yes.
07:27Having a dinner party.
07:28It's like, I mean, I just sat down for dinner and kind of throw a pizza
07:31in the oven or something generally.
07:33But now that I'm older, I have dinner parties, obviously.
07:37LAUGHTER
07:39You two?
07:39Where do we stand on dinner parties?
07:41I can't...
07:43I can't cook shit.
07:45LAUGHTER
07:46Why would I remove jobs from the hard-working people at Nando's?
07:50There's no niece.
07:52LAUGHTER
07:52I go to them, I receive my food, it's a wonderful transaction.
07:56And there's no dinner parties in my house.
07:57I've got five kids, man.
07:59LAUGHTER
07:59Wow!
08:01I'll attend, I won't host.
08:03I'll use my airfire to hold my keys.
08:05Do you bring food?
08:06Will you do a potluck sort of thing?
08:08OK.
08:09I'll arrive when the food has been done and just, and the party is beginning.
08:12Right.
08:13And I'm the same as you.
08:14Deliveroo, this is highly embarrassing, but obviously we're in it now,
08:19contacted me and asked me if I'd like a business account
08:22because they thought I was a company.
08:24LAUGHTER
08:24I swear to God.
08:26My problem with Deliveroo is I'll do an order.
08:28You know you're in trouble when they deliver it with, like,
08:31four sets of chopsticks.
08:33Just me and my bed.
08:35LAUGHTER
08:35I'll eat the noodles with my hands.
08:38Thanks for coming.
08:39LAUGHTER
08:40Now, we have got a clip of the song.
08:44One kiss on your neck, it was so concrete
08:48I'm done looking for somebody
08:53Behind closed doors
08:56Things I never felt before
09:00Crashing lies when you first saw me
09:04Yeah, I met you at a dinner party
09:08Generally used to win coffee
09:12Yeah, I met you at a dinner party
09:34And the album is coming very soon
09:40Um, Niall, I found out some other information about you
09:47Which I'm obsessed by
09:48More information about me?
09:49For Vogue, you went through your beauty routine
09:52Oh, jeez
09:54Oh, jeez
09:56Look at that!
09:57Correct
09:58And by the way, it would not fit on these cards
10:01Not even small font
10:03I bought a clipboard
10:05Oh, a clipboard!
10:07There are 22 steps
10:08Wait
10:09One
10:10You light a candle to set the tone
10:13Why?
10:15Explain, give me a minute
10:16Go on
10:16Give her half an hour
10:17I was going to say
10:19Ford, there's a cold water splash
10:21Pardon
10:23Number nine
10:23Is you play with big silver balls
10:28There are so many
10:29Tell me what you actually do
10:31I do quite a few of them to be fair
10:32I'm quite, I'm quite big into the skin care
10:34Do the ice water in the morning
10:36Three or four dunks
10:40Action, I'm going to action all the time
10:42Are you ready?
10:43We've got it
10:43Couple of moisturisers
10:45And like
10:46Two moisturis
10:47Serum
10:47A moisturiser
10:48Have a spray
10:49It's like a cold plunge for your face
10:51Yeah
10:52It's fucking freezing
10:53He's actually 72 years old
10:54Yeah
10:55Wow
10:56He's amazing
10:57I know it, I know it
10:58You did
10:59I'm so impressed
11:00I'm used to dealing with lads who've cleaned their face
11:01With a scrub tardy
11:02I've never met anyone with hair
11:05Exactly
11:07I need to move up in the world
11:09Sorry Scott
11:10Yeah
11:11Um
11:11Guys
11:13What are you doing in the morning?
11:14By the way
11:15Look how immaculate that skin is
11:16I know
11:16Look at this
11:17Like I wash my face
11:21Sometimes
11:21You know
11:22Sometimes
11:22Some mornings it's hard
11:23My wife puts that
11:25Is it like a black head strip?
11:27Yeah what is that?
11:28Black head strip
11:29I don't know what it is
11:30But every time
11:30That is
11:31Every time she puts it on
11:32She insists that she's the one to take it off
11:36And when she peels it
11:37She does the same thing every time
11:38She peels it
11:39Looks at it and says
11:40Disgusting
11:42So satisfying
11:43Just so you know
11:44Yeah
11:44Very satisfying though
11:46Did she rip it off
11:46Like quick
11:47Or slow?
11:49It depends on the mood
11:50Got it
11:51Got it
11:51I think
11:52My plan is to
11:55Two step skin care
11:56And then just
11:57Eventually get a gorgeous
11:58Korean face lift
11:59Yeah
11:59Wow
12:00How
12:01We can all be doing it
12:02Yeah
12:03I want it
12:04They just yank you up
12:05Yeah they yank you up
12:06Yeah yank you right
12:07The problem is
12:08Where do the folds go?
12:09Who cares where the folds
12:10Goes into the back of your ears
12:12Right
12:12I love my eyes on my head
12:14I want so much plastic surgery
12:15When they cremate me
12:16I won't burn
12:16I'll just
12:19Just melt
12:21I'll just melt
12:21I'll just melt
12:23Yeah
12:24I'll wait
12:25It is
12:26It is
12:26It is
12:27I just shrink
12:28Remember those crisp packets
12:30In the 90s
12:30Used to put in the oven
12:31They just shrink
12:32That would be me
12:33Fingers crossed
12:34That's my goal
12:35Yeah
12:36It's a good goal
12:37I like it
12:37I want my eyes at the top of my head
12:40I want my eyes at my back
12:42That's what I want
12:44I'm following you
12:45Yeah of course
12:47Rachel
12:47You're back in the UK
12:49Back in the Palladium
12:51Yeah
12:51And you're here for a very special week of concerts
12:54Yeah
12:55I'm doing a week of concerts
12:56Of the 25th anniversary of the musical
12:58The Last Five Years
12:59With my good friend Ben Platt
13:01There we are
13:02There's our faces
13:03Oh yeah
13:04And it's so so special
13:06Because it's directed by the writer and composer
13:09Jason Robert Brown
13:10Who will also be on stage
13:12Conducting, playing piano
13:13All those things
13:14And I've just been dying at the opportunity to work with my good friend Ben
13:17I'm so excited
13:18So good
13:19What I love is when I came to see you earlier
13:20You were like
13:21I was watching Ben sing today
13:22He was amazing
13:23It's just
13:24It's actually disgusting
13:25Like
13:26It's offensive
13:27I'm mad about it
13:28Yeah you get it
13:29It's like
13:30It's one of those things where you watch your friends be talented
13:33And you're just
13:34It's revolting
13:36I want to push him down the stairs
13:38Let's not do that
13:39But he'll feel the same way about you
13:41He will
13:42Maybe
13:43He really will
13:44I don't
13:46Please tell me when we can come and see the concert
13:49Tuesday, March 24th through March 29th at the London Palladium
13:54It's so exciting
13:55I can't wait
13:55I cannot wait
13:56Fantastic
13:57Yeah you can do it
13:57You can do it
13:59You can do it
13:59You can do it
14:00Oh
14:02Oh
14:03Oh
14:03Oh
14:03Oh
14:03Oh
14:05You at the Palladium
14:07We have to talk about Evita
14:08You've just been nominated for an Olivier Award
14:10Congratulations
14:10Oh
14:11Oh
14:11Oh
14:12Oh
14:12Oh
14:13Oh
14:13Oh
14:13Oh
14:14Oh
14:14Oh
14:17Oh
14:17Oh
14:18Yeah there she is
14:19This is when you came out to the balcony
14:21Yeah
14:22And you sang
14:22When they first told you that idea were you like
14:25Don't be ridiculous guys
14:26Oh no I was like whatever we need to do let's make it happen
14:29It was beyond my wildest dreams I never could have imagined
14:31There were more people on closing night outside than there were sat inside
14:35Wow
14:36Unbelievable
14:37Wow
14:37There were like 3,000 people I think outside for the final night
14:40It went all the way down to the Ikea
14:42On
14:44You guys
14:45Yeah
14:45Yeah
14:46Yeah
14:47And it was unbelievable
14:48There's 2,200 seats in the Palladium roughly
14:50Wow
14:50So it was amazing
14:52And were there some nights that really stuck with you?
14:55Pride
14:55Yeah
14:56Was amazing
14:57Because everyone was so hammered
15:00That they were singing along incorrectly
15:04I had a we could see the building across from me on Argyle Street
15:08Which was it's a building with restaurants there's offices I'm sure
15:11And there was somebody who stood in the stairwell and just kind of mimicked my every move
15:17In my direct eye line it was hysterical I have to give kudos I don't know who they are
15:22Kudos to that man thank you
15:24You saw Rachel didn't you?
15:26I did
15:26Crazy
15:26Why would you do that?
15:28It was not really now it was the hottest ticket in town
15:29I had to pull a lot of strings to get in
15:33It was phenomenal if it makes you feel any better I am also disgusted by you
15:36Oh cool
15:37Yeah
15:38A lot of people are
15:40I was like the lungs
15:41And now you're funny as well I'm going to have to have you put down Rachel
15:44That's alright
15:45Everyone say goodbye to Rachel
15:48Hi
15:48Now we have somebody here I believe who is about to play Evita at the Swan
15:54Where are you?
15:56Rosie are you here?
15:57Rosie
15:57Hello
15:58Hi darling
15:59Rosie number one good luck when does it start?
16:0221st of April
16:03So soon
16:04Yeah
16:04Oh my god are you excited?
16:06Yeah it's the time of your life
16:07Yeah
16:08This is the most exciting part do you get enough water breaks?
16:11Um
16:13Yeah I know
16:14I know
16:15Baby I know
16:16Yeah
16:16Because I had this really fun thing where I didn't have any costume changes
16:20Where usually as Eva Perrone I'm sure you have a lot of costume changes
16:23Yeah
16:24Drink during those
16:25Yes
16:25Because I didn't have any of those and I had to beg for water breaks to be choreographed in
16:30Olivier nominee Fabian Aloise should win just because he choreographed water breaks into my choreography
16:36And I bet those who saw it didn't even notice
16:39Right
16:39So
16:41But it's the time of your life just take it with you it's so much fun you'll remember it for
16:45a lifetime
16:47Yeah
17:00Good luck
17:01Over ten minutes on closing night for sure
17:03But it was a it was one of those moments where I was I was used to doing I did
17:07Shakespeare in New York
17:08Like you don't get a standing o for everything but in New York it's very much a part of the
17:13culture after the show is done everybody stands
17:14And I was told many times before the run started like well just you know it doesn't mean they don't
17:20like it
17:21If they don't stand it doesn't mean that because London audiences are a lot more reserved which I for one
17:25really love
17:26And we got a standing ovation every night and it was bizarre to everybody in the company that that was
17:32what was going on
17:32And the closing night was I think it was like 12 minutes it went over the the record which was
17:3810
17:39How do you what face do you pull?
17:42There are many videos of me turning to James Olivas who plays Perón where I go I don't know what
17:47to do
17:49I don't know what to do and also like I said didn't really have any time off stage
17:53I had to pee so bad that I would always be like Alan wrap it up because we were waiting
17:59for
18:00A reprise of money kept rolling in to come in so that we could dance off the stage and it
18:04just never came
18:05And so there are also videos of me being like I have to pee
18:10Because you had water breaks
18:12I've got I've had water breaks and you're not wearing a nappy
18:15I had exactly I had very rare water breaks so when I could drink water you best believe I was
18:20chugging
18:21Yeah so it was one of those where I had to pee so bad at the end of that
18:24It's a three-hour musical and I did not leave the stage once the only time I left the stage
18:29was to go get ready to go do the balcony
18:30And then I came right back onto the stage so I didn't have any time to pee during the show
18:34Rachel you need a she we are using a glass to breathe
18:38Not that I use it
18:40Very effective
18:41I highly recommend
18:42Yeah
18:43Now guys we need to converse about Bait
18:47It's a brand new show for Prime Video
18:50That's correct
18:51This is a creation of Riz Ahmed
18:53I've known Riz for quite some time
18:56I knew him before I even stumbled into this
18:57And he's been really honest
18:59It's a real honest story of what it's like for a guy from a working class family in Wembley
19:05To have done all the stuff he's done
19:06But every time that big role comes, that big opportunity comes
19:10Something goes wrong or it doesn't quite happen
19:13And it was wicked to work on it with him because it's so honest
19:17It's a lot of his real life and his real story
19:19So yeah, it's got a lot of humour
19:20It's completely crazy
19:22That's how Riz likes to do his stuff
19:24And I think it's very unique
19:25Something that people won't have seen before for sure
19:27This is about Riz going for Bond, right?
19:30He has an audition
19:32And his light, it's four days
19:33That's the story of Bait, isn't it?
19:36Can I tell you the truth?
19:37Yeah
19:37I'm not really sure
19:41Because I'm a truthful person, okay?
19:44It's a month of Ramadan, I've got to tell the truth, okay?
19:46Yep
19:47I'll be reading my words
19:49And then I go to sleep
19:50That's all I do
19:54Where do I mean?
19:56I'm a person out there
19:56My line
19:57I'm a person out there
19:58My line
19:59My line
20:00Can I just tell you that the 3R for the show
20:02I just heard her back there bang her head against the thing
20:06It's really good though, I can tell you that
20:08It's really good
20:08Should we have a clip?
20:10If you want?
20:10Yeah, why not?
20:11You should go on
20:12Calm down, it's just an audition, yeah?
20:14Call me if you need a body double for sex scenes
20:16Hello?
20:17Hello?
20:18Can you tell her to call me as soon as she comes back in?
20:21Yes
20:21Okay, bye
20:23Phone come in
20:24I don't know if this is a good thing or a bad thing
20:27I've just got to sort this out
20:28And work it out
20:30Yo, yo, look at me
20:32I'm proud of you
20:34Yeah?
20:35James
20:36James
20:36Come on my guy
20:37Come on
20:38Let's see what happens
20:38Do they know about the height?
20:41What do you mean?
20:43Are they going to give you special shoes?
20:44Like James was a big enemy
20:50I'm just saying it
20:51For you
20:53Yes
20:55Come on
20:55Come on
20:56Come on
20:58Come on
21:00Look, I have to say it
21:03He is short
21:04He is short, Iris
21:06So, you know, there's certain criteria that I believe you have to hit to be James Bond
21:10And they killed him at number one
21:12He can't even help that
21:13It's not his fault he didn't get the right level of protein in when he was a kid
21:15You can't make any kind of difference on somebody
21:17Yes, Riz Ahmed
21:18Can I say that we should have a short James Bond?
21:20Because how are you going to be so tall and sneak it around like a secret agent?
21:24Exactly
21:24I don't see it
21:25I've been saying that for years
21:27LAUGHTER
21:30Where did you first meet him?
21:32Where did I first meet Riz Ahmed?
21:34For legal purposes, I've been asked to frame this story
21:37LAUGHTER
21:39To go back like 20 years, could be a little bit more
21:42And I'm from Coventry, I still live there
21:45And I, before I did this, had different vocations
21:50One of my vocations was selling tulips
21:55Let's go with that
21:57Let's go with that
21:58What beautiful tulips they were
22:00Right?
22:00Yes
22:00I was a florist, people really like the flowers
22:02Every time they get there
22:03Brother, this flower is the best flower I ever smell in my whole life
22:07OK?
22:09I was in an alleyway with my still best friend till this day
22:12And a gentleman comes running into the alleyway
22:15And when you're selling tulips late at night
22:16Everyone's on edge
22:17LAUGHTER
22:20Go with it, guys
22:21I looked down the alleyway
22:23And there's Riz Ahmed
22:25But I didn't know it was Riz Ahmed
22:26And Riz Ahmed was a little bit nervous
22:29About the activity of floristry in this particular alleyway
22:31LAUGHTER
22:32But to his credit, Riz decided to venture down there
22:35To me and my friend
22:36And said
22:37My brothers
22:38I'm about to spit some bars
22:40In the Students' Union
22:41Would you like to join me?
22:43And I looked at my friend and said
22:44Probably not, man
22:45He's tulips ain't gonna sell themselves, brother
22:47You better just
22:47LAUGHTER
22:49My friend who's a good person
22:51He's a good geezer
22:52He said
22:52No, we should support this guy
22:53He looks kind of stressed
22:54So we accompanied him to the Students' Union
22:57This is Oscar-winning Riz Ahmed
22:5820 years ago
22:59And he performed
23:01Quite OK-ish rap music
23:03LAUGHTER
23:04To a group of six people
23:06In Coventry Students' Union
23:08And ten years later
23:10When I started doing like comedy
23:12And silly stuff like that
23:13He messaged me and he goes
23:15But can I ask you a question?
23:17I said, yeah
23:18He said
23:19Did you use to sell tulips?
23:21LAUGHTER
23:23In an alleyway in Coventry
23:25And I said
23:25Who are you?
23:26The police?
23:27Go away!
23:28LAUGHTER
23:29And that's the story of how me and Riz Ahmed
23:31I mean...
23:36He invites me to Eid every year
23:38Really?
23:39Yeah, he does
23:39He's a good lad
23:40I can't
23:40I'm gonna miss it this year
23:41Because I'm here
23:42But Riz invites me to
23:44Like they do Eid
23:45In New York
23:45They do an Eid banquet
23:46And I'm missing it this year
23:47And I'm very sad
23:48But he's so...
23:49He's salt to the earth
23:50He's a good geek
23:51He's gonna have great flowers
23:52On the table
23:53Great tulips
23:54Loads of tulips
23:55Um
23:56And you've worked with another one
23:59Of your best friends
24:00Who's that?
24:00On this...
24:01Lumbu
24:02Because there's this show
24:03That I find very difficult to say
24:05So I'm gonna go very slowly
24:06Gus Khan's Custom Cars
24:08Quite tricky to say
24:09Well done
24:09Gus Khan's Custom Cars
24:10And you do it with Lumbu
24:12And it is really funny
24:15Look at that
24:15I know nothing about cars
24:17Tell me about this show
24:18Well this show came about
24:20Because I do like cars
24:22Always have
24:23When we were younger
24:25Just growing up
24:26In a working class family
24:26In cars
24:27The idea of owning a car
24:29That was more than 750 pounds
24:31Was a bit of a dream
24:31Okay
24:32And now you get to a stage
24:33In your career
24:34Where you can say to people
24:35I like cars
24:37Can we make a television show
24:39About it please
24:39Somebody
24:39And they were
24:40I was lucky enough for someone to say
24:41Yeah
24:41But in my head
24:42I always wanted my best friend
24:43To come along on this journey with me
24:45My best friend is Lumbu
24:46To describe Lumbu
24:47He is a human sunflower
24:50Are we talking real flowers this time?
24:51Yeah, yeah
24:52Real flowers
24:54Making sure
24:55But I'm from B&Q
24:56Planet I'm in the ground
24:56Real legit
24:58That's tricky
24:59There he is
24:59Oh
25:00Handsome boy
25:01But you know
25:02You realise
25:03When you bring your friends
25:04To make television
25:05They don't really respect the rules
25:08Tell me more
25:09So like
25:10If a call time is at 8.30 in the morning
25:12Uh oh
25:13And your friend turns up at 2.30 in the afternoon
25:16Right
25:17That probably isn't good
25:19Good for the rules
25:20Right?
25:20Yeah
25:21And it looks bad on you
25:22It looks terrible on me
25:23Sort of love him for it
25:24What was he doing?
25:25What was he doing until 2.30?
25:27Yeah
25:27Sleeping
25:28Oh wow
25:29I guess he was tired
25:30I respect it
25:31You've got to respect it
25:31I've got to respect it
25:32Yeah
25:32But it's an amazing thing to go on
25:34Like we've been messing around since we were kids
25:35Uh and then we went on this journey
25:37To create this incredible custom car
25:39I'd never done that before
25:40But we did realise by the end of the show
25:42That he had created a car
25:45That based on his six foot four length
25:48And my 18 stone weight
25:51We couldn't fit in
25:53Now there's a custom car
25:54Somewhere in the streets of Coventry
25:56Rotting in a car park
25:57If anybody wants it
25:57Go and take it
25:59It was a fun journey
26:00Really fun journey
26:01I cannot recommend it enough
26:02I don't know anything about cars
26:04But I was howling
26:05By the way you two talked to each other
26:07By the way you were talking
26:08There was something about an exhaust pipe
26:10Didn't know what I was
26:11I was in
26:11Yeah
26:12I was in
26:13Where can people watch
26:15I don't know what channel it's on
26:16But you'll find it
26:18It's on Discovery Plus
26:19Is it?
26:20Yeah
26:21And Baked
26:22Amazon for sure
26:23Correct
26:24Prime Video for Baked
26:26And you can witness Riz Ahmed
26:28I assume go on to win an Emmy
26:30Because he's incredible in it
26:32Support the show
26:32It's got proper British flavour
26:35It's got proper energy and humour
26:37Just enjoy it
26:38OK
26:39Thank you
26:39Thank you very much
26:43Before you got into comedy
26:45And before all of this
26:48You were a teacher
26:49I was a teacher
26:51What kind of a teacher were you?
26:53A shit one
26:54I don't believe that
26:58I just don't believe that
27:00I believe that
27:01I believe that
27:03You can see it
27:04That tracks
27:05Yeah, sure
27:06What did you teach?
27:08Well, here's the thing
27:09So when you do your PGCE
27:11Yeah
27:12Specialised in teaching
27:13You do that in a specific subject
27:16Or set of subjects
27:18I never got round to teaching
27:20Those specific sets of subjects
27:21Nice
27:22So like
27:23I was basically like a really good
27:25Big brother forward slash
27:27That fun uncle
27:28Yeah
27:28Around school
27:29And I would like to hope
27:30To think maybe
27:32That I had contributed
27:33In a positive way
27:33To the children of
27:34Grace Academy and Coventry
27:35If I didn't
27:36And you failed your GCSEs
27:37I apologise
27:39That is the plot
27:40To School of Rock
27:40Without the music
27:41Yeah
27:42Can I tell you something?
27:44Yeah
27:44Your students loved you
27:45Did they love me?
27:46They loved you
27:47Would you like to say hello to one?
27:48No, stop it
27:49I'm going to cry
27:50Shut the front door
27:51I'm going to cry
27:51Good man
27:53What?
27:56It's the card
27:56Hey, it's the card
27:57Hello
27:58Yes
28:00Give another one
28:01Yes
28:01Come here you lot
28:04Come here
28:04Come here
28:11Are you?
28:12Are you 25?
28:13Are you 25 now?
28:15Are you 25 now?
28:15Enough seats
28:17Oh
28:18Oh
28:18Oh
28:18Oh
28:19Oh
28:20Oh
28:20Oh
28:21Oh
28:23I know
28:25You bought all the brown ones
28:26Yes
28:29Left on the poor white kids at home in Coventry
28:31I love you too
28:32Have a seat on the sofa
28:33Oh
28:33That's brilliant
28:35Oh
28:36Hi
28:37Hello
28:38Can I sit next to the mirror
28:40Yes
28:40Come here
28:42I've loved having a laugh with you but to hear their stories about how brilliant you were
28:47I don't want to embarrass you we've gone a bit weird but you were much better than your saying
28:57Because Simran what did he do for you?
28:59You know what?
29:00As you see Mr Khan, yeah?
29:03In TV was just like how he was in school, yeah?
29:06I remember the first time I had him in a class, yeah?
29:09He goes, Oi, Simran, come here
29:12And I was like, I thought I was in trouble, right?
29:14And he was like, I can't be asked to do the presentation slide next button you sit there and you
29:19do it for me
29:22I was like, safe, right?
29:25But then the thing is, I was quite shy up until I had Mr Khan as my teacher and again
29:30he was that fun uncle
29:32Vibes, right?
29:33Where he made me feel comfortable and I started to gain a bit of confidence from that but even
29:37After he left knowing what he pursued was enough to inspire myself to pursue
29:44Something different, you know, when you come from Coventry and you come from a South Asian background
29:49You're not always pushed to do something creative
29:50So now, you know, I went to uni
29:53I passed
29:54Yeah
29:54I got an art degree
29:58You were art degree?
29:59I got art degree
30:00And, and, and
30:02And, yeah, it was like
30:04You contributed more than you think
30:05Oh
30:08Oh
30:09Come on
30:13Oh the family, are you okay?
30:16Nafis, tell us about Mr Khan
30:17Nafis, why are you sweating so much?
30:21I don't know what I'm allowed to say, I'm not allowed to say, innit?
30:25Brother got tulips in his inside pocket
30:27I don't know what it is
30:30Now, you know what it is?
30:31This guy
30:32He made us all feel like you can go out and do anything that you want
30:34Yeah
30:35Coventry's
30:37Coventry's going for tulips
30:38So
30:40Everyone
30:41Yeah
30:42Well done
30:42Everyone there is some sort of florist of one boy or another
30:47No one
30:48No one really thinks of Coventry and things
30:49Oh, yeah
30:50Like someone's going to come out of there
30:51So to see somebody go out and do it
30:52Like
30:53I'll be the first one to say it
30:54And everyone in Coventry has guzzers back in
30:56Like
30:56We're super proud of what you've done
30:59Come on!
31:06Thank you so much, Simran, Nafis
31:08Thank you
31:09Thank you
31:10Thank you
31:17That was brilliant
31:18Come on
31:20That's beautiful
31:22Is that nice?
31:24That was so nice
31:25I never marked a book in my life
31:27But I don't know
31:29It was so lovely
31:31Thank you so much for coming
31:32Thank you, you too
31:33Jo-am, tell me
31:34Your tour
31:35You keep adding more dates
31:37You are playing huge arenas
31:40Pinot-file
31:41There it is
31:42Pinot-file
31:44I file Pinot
31:46It's a fun pun
31:47It has made getting press a little difficult
31:50So I'm delighted to be here, Claudia
31:51Thank you
31:53Not every BBC show would take me with a name like that
31:57You're doing huge venues
31:58Fun or ever so slightly scary?
32:01It's cray-crack
32:01Yeah
32:02Sometimes I think it gets a reputation for being
32:04This kind of feral
32:08I'll give you an example
32:09A man
32:10Because it's a predominantly female audience
32:11Okay
32:12But a man messaged me
32:14And he was like
32:14Is it safe for me to come?
32:15And I was like
32:16Oh my god
32:17They obviously think I'm running some sort of cannibalistic
32:21Like we're putting men in cauldrons and boiling them
32:23And then drinking their bone broth or something
32:24Which I would do for a Netflix special
32:28But no, it's great
32:29I love it
32:29Like I love gig
32:30I love travelling around
32:31Living out of a suitcase
32:32Yeah
32:33We should say
32:34You broke records for the longest ever standing ovation at the Palladium
32:37You broke a different record
32:39Well, Rachel
32:40I too played the London Palladium and broke a record
32:43Come on
32:44It was for wine cells
32:56So maybe they wanted to stand for me too Rachel
32:58But they couldn't because they were too pissed
33:01But I love your fans
33:02Isn't it true that every venue are like
33:04I'm just not in a bad way
33:06I just want to warn you
33:06That like
33:07Have you got white wine?
33:08Have you got Prosecco?
33:10And they're like
33:10Yeah, we've got enough
33:11And you're like
33:12We're similar women
33:13The women coming
33:14A little bit
33:14You know
33:15We like
33:15We like a drink
33:16Yeah
33:17Bit of un-diagnosed ADHD
33:19Like there's a vibe
33:20Yeah
33:21Mentally feral
33:22Physically groomed
33:23You know
33:24We might eat out of a bin on a weekend
33:25That's the vibe
33:26Of the show
33:28And
33:28Do you know
33:30Like it is what it is
33:36You know you're talking about wee bricks
33:37We're going to need one after this
33:41Peanophile
33:41On sale now
33:50You're doing one of these shows and you also would like to adopt a dog
33:55I bought a house finally on the ladder
33:57I have a garden
33:57Lovely
33:58I was like I'll obviously rescue a dog because that's what you do
34:01Are you adopt also I'm adopted myself so I feel it's only fair to pay it forward
34:04Yeah
34:05And
34:08True
34:12I'm a rescue
34:13I'm a rescue driver
34:14I'm a rescue
34:15I'm a rescue
34:16So I would always rescue I would never buy new
34:20And
34:21Shame on you for having your own children Claudia
34:23You should have adopted myself
34:26How dare you
34:27So anyway
34:27I went I rang up and it is so hard
34:31Yeah
34:31And I'll probably get rinsed for saying this
34:33But like I was like blah blah blah
34:35I want to adopt a little
34:36And they were like yeah
34:37Do you have a car?
34:38And I was like no
34:39I said I have access to an e-scooter
34:42And they were like oh do you don't have a car?
34:44And I was like they're like you can't adopt a dog
34:47And I was like what am I driving it to?
34:48It's piano lessons
34:50It's if you because I couldn't if you don't have a garden they don't
34:53But I have a garden now I'm going to fail
34:55Yeah fine then you can have a whole litter hive
34:57I don't know
35:01So you have these lovely fans what is the wildest thing your fans have ever done?
35:07One time in the Apollo I could sense there was like a kerfuffle
35:13In one of the balconies
35:14And I was like what is going on?
35:15It's kind of distracting you're like what's going on?
35:16You don't want to stop the show
35:18But you're dying to know the tea of what's happening
35:20Yes
35:21And there was a woman taken out
35:23Again I'm not really selling the show here
35:25I'm worse than you
35:27There was a woman taken out by her arms and her legs I carried out
35:31Yeah
35:32Oh lord
35:33Yeah
35:34I was like I'm raging I missed that now
35:36That would have been worth stopping the show for
35:38I think her bag fell over the balcony
35:40And she was trying to get it
35:41And they were worried she'd fall
35:42And I don't know
35:43Anyway look
35:43It's fine
35:47Safe space
35:47We put seat belts in the balconies now
35:49They're strapped in
35:50They can't move
35:52Um
35:53Now Jo-am your fans are a bit like a cult
35:56They love you
35:57Would you be up for joining one?
35:58Because I definitely would
35:59I have a cult vibe
36:01For I'm suggestible
36:03I'd be easily
36:04Like I think I'm involved in an aloe vera pyramid already
36:07Which is kind of
36:09Mushing on cult vibes
36:11I like
36:12I like the sense of camaraderie
36:14Yeah
36:14Do you?
36:14Yeah and you don't have to die alone
36:16You die in a gang
36:17And everyone drinks the poison
36:19But I'm such a boozer
36:20I'll probably just completely survive
36:21And live
36:22I'll wait for everyone to be dead
36:23I'll pop us up
36:24I'll get out of my day
36:25I do
36:26My agent won't book hotels near Scientology centres
36:29Because he's like
36:30You'll go in
36:30Really?
36:32I don't like cults
36:33Yeah
36:33Don't want to be part of them
36:34Don't like reading about them
36:35Don't love watching Netflix documentaries about them
36:37They're scary
36:38You've got a cult vibe
36:39Me?
36:40Yeah
36:42I would join
36:43Oh you mean as the leader of a cult?
36:45Yes your leader vibes
36:46Yes
36:46Yeah
36:47I'm very follower vibes
36:48Yeah your leader vibes
36:50The glasses and all
36:51Come on
36:51The glasses
36:54Guys
36:54Here's the thing
36:56Tell us about when you went on holiday
36:59The first time we never been to America
37:00It was for work
37:02I've never been to America in my life
37:04I always thought I'd struggle to get in
37:05So like
37:07Me and Irish basketball
37:09Irish basketball
37:10200 grand
37:11200 grand
37:12200 grand
37:12200 grand
37:13200 grand
37:13200 grand
37:13200 grand
37:14200 grand
37:14200 grand
37:14200 grand
37:14200 grand
37:14200 grand
37:25200 grand
37:26200 grand
37:29We all laughed
37:30But he's not wrong
37:32Listen
37:32What's up
37:33Microsoft
37:35Where were you going?
37:36To Los Angeles
37:37Okay
37:38Yeah
37:38And so I said to my wife
37:39This is going to be an incredible trip
37:41Let's do it there
37:41Of course let's do it mate
37:43And I'm like yo
37:44This is exciting
37:46Let me book somewhere incredible
37:48In the Hollywood
37:49Hills
37:49I love my wife and my children
37:51And then I saw how much it cost to book somewhere in the Hollywood Hills
37:55I don't love them that much. So I went on the Airbnb list and I found somewhere that looks sick
38:01and it had an exciting name
38:03It was called Topanga
38:05Topanga Canyon. Is that what? Yes. Okay, so Topanga Canyon. Now it sounds exciting
38:08Yeah, I went on the list and they had no ratings, but it looked sick and it was cheap. No
38:13ratings. Yeah, I know I'm an idiot
38:15You've met me now you've been sitting next to me. You know how this stuff goes
38:17You're terrible on a call
38:20So I booked it and we got to the airport and there's a wonderful driver that was there to pick
38:24us up and he says so brother
38:26Where you going? And I was like oh here Topanga. He went oh
38:30I said why you say oh for like that. He said brother man. I'm saying brother like me you
38:36We don't be in Topanga
38:39Immediate worrying sign bar. Well, anyway, it's cheap two of the kids are asleep ones vomiting in the back
38:44Let's just get to the find out. Okay, so we're heading up to the panga and it's very it's very
38:49like um up hilly
38:51Yeah, there's a lot of altitude and we're traveling there and he's telling me all these terrible stories about man
38:55shit, man, ain't nothing around here
38:58I said where's the hospital? He said shit. I don't know
39:02We should be here anyway, I'm listening to these keys are bang on and we get to the house pitch
39:07black the whole noises of crickets and
39:11I don't know what's going on
39:13Never heard in my life. Okay, I thought there's people in the butcher going
39:20It's pitch black and the instructions to get in this property are a bit weird. Yeah, you've got to go
39:25around the back and there's no lights
39:26but there were like
39:28security cameras all over this house, right, so
39:32We're walking around and then my kids did wherever they're walking this camera's going
39:37Yeah, definitely
39:39Right so my sons are our dad the cameras following me. I said shut up man. You don't know what's
39:42going on
39:45So we might
39:47We managed to get in the house. I'm a middle son lispy. He's cool. I cuz he's got a list
39:51so at least piece in the house
39:54You're making that up. No, so this piece in a house and this is like we love him, but you
39:59know
39:59He's got a list
40:05Let's be like his dad let me get feelings. He's like dad's my dad
40:10This place is weird guys, and I'm like shut up some manual your mom's already angry at me
40:14There's no electricity in the house. It's just dark in here
40:16So we found a couple lights all the mood light in but like lispy's dead touch it was like that's
40:21all the walls hollow
40:23Sometimes walls be like that son
40:26So he's in a house everyone's like sex trying to sell him to this good vibe, okay?
40:32I'm like I've got the feeling my wife's looking at why your eyes so white. I'm like this. He says
40:36there's something weird in the house
40:39So lispers run up the stairs. He's touching all the walls upstairs and you come back down. He goes dad
40:44doesn't want to show you something dad
40:49I'm gonna upstairs with lispy my wife is like I should never married you and then
40:57I
40:57I don't know who it is a room
40:59And he's managed to get it open so it was locked but lisp's money is very resourceful little
41:06He's managed to get it open and in this in I swear to god in the center of the room
41:11was a cabinet a very ornate
41:14Cabinet no, and I was like lisp where you find this because I don't know it's in a room
41:19I don't know
41:22The door was yanked on it now because look at what's inside dad. He's opened it double-handed
41:34Contacts
41:34That's what's all that red stuff no and in this cupboard in the middle of this already creepy Airbnb
41:42There are vials of blood
41:46Lined up all across there. He said that that don't look good
41:54We left the house immediately I called the driver and the driver said brother. I told you
42:02Yeah
42:02Oh my god
42:04Oh my god
42:10The weird thing is that days later like the Airbnb listing was gone
42:15So big up lispy
42:18He's the new love of my life
42:20Yeah, genuinely
42:21Right so we have almost come to the end but before we close this is quite a lot of pressure
42:28But I just need to ask the first date
42:30I think it's been good. Yeah. Oh, yeah, we didn't ruin it then no no no no no
42:34I don't know what we're gonna do for the next date like graham
42:43I can I can sort that out for you
42:46Thank you, but maybe next time I don't know a dough ball and a drink
42:51If you're still together at the end of the air you can go and watch my show even if you
42:54like it or not
42:55Do you want to come see a musical about divorce?
42:58I would love yeah
43:00Divorce will be there
43:01Awesome
43:02Green and follow?
43:02I was gonna say
43:03Do you want to be carried out in all fours?
43:07From a balcony at the hammers for the parlor? I could do that
43:09Do you want to come to the south and shoot us?
43:21That is it we are off to play swing ball and talk more about tulips
43:26I would like to thank my wonderful guests joanne mcnally
43:38We are back next week when i'll be joined by jimmy car chase infinity and lisa kudrow thank you for
43:45watching good night
43:51Turn up your weekend with sophie ellis baxter's kitchen disco listen now on bbc sounds here
43:59It's a lip-sync smackdown for the crown the final of rupaul's drag race uk versus the world next
44:07We are back next
44:07applause
44:10Music
44:11Music
44:13Music
44:14Music
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44:15Music
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