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Abolish Everything - Season 2 - Episode 04: Abolish Going to Antarctica
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00:06in New York City's storied underground our radical movement gathers again because
00:12what if I said I worship a white queen our mission to liberate society from its
00:20gravest stupidest ills our secondary mission keeping Andy Vega below the
00:25earth's surface so he can't be extradited in just a moment for brave abolitionists
00:30will face off against each other and the political establishment in an attempt to
00:34win this cartoonist sack of cash with a dollar sign on it and an invitation to
00:39our world championship season finale but to do it they'll need to convince the
00:44crowd on the other side of this curtain this is the fight of our lives this is
00:49the future we've been waiting for this is abolish everything
01:03tonight's abolitionists Sophia Manfredi Tej Conner Jason Siegel and Rose Kelso
01:22thank you so much for watching abolish everything I'm your host Chandler Dean
01:30before we begin I am ashamed and disgusted yet required by our twisted system to introduce
01:36the political establishment
01:40Glo Tavares Jamie Lynn Watson Brielle Demergen and Chief Justice of the political establishment Andy Vega
01:52look at these people I'm gonna be subpoenaed 20 years from now about why I appear in so many pictures
02:02with them I'm out of competition but I will be delivering this evening's first testimony are
02:07you ready to abolish everything now without further ado my time starts now my friends we are what we
02:17consume and because we control what we consume it means we have some agency over who we are unless of
02:24course we were constantly being force-fed the stupidest digital slop imaginable in a mass unrelenting effort
02:32to monopolize our attention that is why we need to abolish the for you page
02:43let me pick what I see the internet used to be a place we opted into you would sit at
02:52your computer and
02:53you were in charge you could go to any website YouTube do anything you wanted watch people play
03:00Donkey Kong 64 and there was no limit to what you could achieve eat Oreos and drink Dr. Pepper while
03:06watching
03:07people play Donkey Kong 64 but now the internet comes to us at every other moment the self-inflicted
03:15electronic tumor that is in each of our pockets insists we must learn that the Chicago Pope is
03:45follow whatever accounts you want the for you page doesn't care the follow button is a placebo
03:51like the closed door button on an elevator or the unsubscribe button from Chandler Dean's email lists
04:02we don't decide what we watch the algorithm reads our mind and gives us what we really want but here's
04:08the thing I want to get bored
04:15because when I am bored I get to move on with my life one time I got so bored that
04:23I cleaned the bathroom
04:24folks I need this to happen a second time now you may be thinking Chandler what if this set pops
04:33off
04:34on the for you page that's the promise of it isn't it the lure of possibility the potential that any
04:42one
04:43of us is one great post away from becoming the hawk to a girl but activists this is an illusion
04:53my friends
04:54for a creator the for you page is a slot machine for your entire sense of self we cannot all
05:02become online
05:03influencers who pump out self-indulgent content call it art and make millions while the rest of the world
05:09suffers I still have a chance but you you do not but if we're being totally transparent I don't think
05:18this set will succeed on tick-tock because according to the AI powered creator assistant which gives you
05:23advice about how to make your content go more viral I don't do enough physical comedy and exaggerated facial
05:29expressions to make my humor accessible and engaging I have not come up with the funny catchphrase
05:39that would inspire viewers to follow my account indeed I have been encouraged to experiment with
05:44different comedy styles like good ones and if that didn't work I could encourage viewers to share
05:53their funniest joke in the comments or hey forget the comedy just have them share their favorite
06:00celebrity moments or even their travel plans if I did everything the for you page wanted me to do
06:09this is what this show would become
06:23do it do it do it do it do it do it abolish everything I can't even
06:39abolish my damn wife
06:47share your funniest timothy chalamet japan recommendations in the comments below
06:53abolish the for you page I yield my time
06:59the political establishment will have four minutes to rebut me and their time starts now
07:03I gotta say that was the best thing you've ever done in your life
07:08oh my god Chandler that was a beautiful work of art I don't know what the fuck you were talking
07:13about
07:14before that I could not keep up you were talking and talking and blah blah blah blah but man that
07:20pie
07:21wow you're covered in a bizarre sauce man it's beautiful this is gonna crush online
07:28I can't live like this forever okay let's say it does go viral I gotta do this every time no
07:34yeah yeah yeah stop yeah Chandler Chandler you would not believe how much white liquid I get on my face
07:43so I can go viral
07:45a lot of which speaking of speaking of I make most of my money on Instagram if we're supposed to
07:52ban the FYP page how am I supposed to sell my probiotic guns and my organic bikinis
07:59you don't want women have jobs wow most women have jobs on Instagram
08:08Jamie the content you've described would be an instant hit on so many subreddits you do not need
08:12tick-tock you could go find the freaks yourself and you can skip the algorithm all together
08:17Chandler which subreddit specifically it seems like you're familiar with them
08:21the for you page is there to help you discover discover and be more than what you currently are are
08:27you
08:27afraid of growth Chandler do you think you're done evolving because that's a very naive take I would
08:32say Chandler you want to fog up your glasses by removing the for you page of life
08:41I really don't know what that means but in response to Brielle's question I don't think the for you page
08:47opens my mind more it's giving me the slop that like my body like wants have you talked to someone
08:54who
08:54is under the age of 22 years old who has been raised on one of these things yeah uh skibbity
09:00toilet Chandler you and skibbity toilet would make a wonderful couple Chandler you I've never seen you
09:07look this good but that's what you need to look like to make it big on the FYP you need
09:13to be authentic
09:14you need to rip yourself apart and throw yourself into the algorithm so we can sell more ads like
09:20supplements to people who don't ever make eye contact the thing is that you angered the algorithm
09:27gods so now you won't go viral because you talked shit on them okay you need to do this four
09:32more
09:33times to appease them again so please could we bring out wet water liquid milk or whatever
09:40the fun one more pie one more pie one more pie you know
09:51that's fucking time yeah hi are you ready for your first abolitionist of the night
10:00our next abolitionist has written for last week tonight patriot act and click hole please welcome
10:05sofia manfredi
10:17hello give it up for Chandler hashtag pie dunce currently has 11 trillion views
10:24Antarctica
10:29yes let's go
10:33the land of glaciers the land of penguins of elephant seals the only animal that asked the question
10:40what if gonzo were left in formaldehyde to be studied
10:45it's home to untold natural wonders unlike anywhere else on earth and tourism is booming there but i'm
10:52here to say proudly and firmly abolish going to antarctica
11:03and before you assume this is not about the environment
11:08i don't care about the environment
11:11i want to get ahead of that okay what i care about is limiting man
11:18more generally we shouldn't just get to go everywhere there are some things that you don't
11:23get to experience including the end of the earth does this mean that i have a profound moral
11:27concern with space travel obviously and again i don't mean in a way that's like oh like we can't
11:33take care of the one planet we have why would it be in trust with i mean in a way
11:36that's like
11:37no you don't get to do everything you want to do stop
11:47does this also mean i think they should have left the blue origin gals up there goes without saying
11:54does this mean i think nasa shouldn't exist that i am in a protracted online debate both with people
11:59who think the moon landing happened and the people who think it didn't happen that i recently ended my
12:04brief but wild fling with buzz aldrin yes we met on raya my point is some things should be left
12:14unexplored this logic applies to antarctica space the deep ocean mount everest the closet in your
12:20grandmother's house that she always regards with sorrow and fear
12:25and gulches are there exceptions yes there's one exception i want to be abundantly clear i have no
12:34problem with ernest shackleton going to antarctica he and his 27 men watched their ship slash home
12:41be crushed by ice and then they survived for six months on top of the frozen ocean and then before
12:47it
12:47melted shackleton managed to get them all to a small actual island of land where upon their arrival one
12:53guy did go insane and immediately kill a bunch of seals with an axe that is true then shackleton
13:00and a few others navigated 800 miles of some of the roughest seas in the world in a rowboat to
13:06get
13:06help and he did and five months after that the men were all rescued and miraculously no one died during
13:12all of this and when they got back to england no one cared because world war one had started
13:20all of this and when they got back to the end of the world and they got back to the
13:20end of the world
13:20insane
13:25if you don't experience that you don't get to go
13:29if you don't undergo this transition
13:33you don't get to go
13:35if you don't eat the sled dogs that you have grown to love
13:40yes that's true you don't get to go
13:42do i understand the pool of antarctica do i yearn for the jaw-dropping landscapes and the unbelievable
13:49almost alien wonder that sits at the bottom of the world did i go sort of insane during the pandemic
13:55and ultimately get so obsessed with ernest shackleton that i had ebay alerts set up for various 19th
14:01century antarctic publications yes we all did
14:06we all paid 400 for something called the south polar times while unemployed
14:13but does that mean it's okay that my aunt and uncle went to antarctica to celebrate their 50th anniversary
14:19also yes they've had a beautiful marriage
14:23but it's just them and ernest shackleton and the rest of us stay where we are intended i yield my
14:28time
14:36sofia
14:40typically typically when we're mad at other people for their actions it's because we've created a
14:44rule for ourselves that we can't do it and we're angry that we're watching someone break a rule that
14:49we've made up in our heads so i want to know since you say you don't get to do everything
14:52you want
14:53to do who told you that you can't do everything that you want to get to do because can i
14:56tell you
14:57you can do whatever the you want to do girl i'm not a religious person but i feel like god
15:03you know like it just feels like a rule that's part of the universe and you also don't care about
15:07the
15:07environment you put that in plain text so i i'm getting a lot of anger from your presentation and
15:13it just feels like projection and it just feels like you feel as if you aren't allowed to do these
15:19ambitious huge things you can free yourself go out do whatever you want the world is
15:25burning don't sit down and be like i'm gonna follow the rules because girl no one else is
15:32i
15:35i love when brielle does stuff like that because she sounds like the cheater girls to me
15:42when she says stuff like that it's really inspirational um so ultimately i feel like
15:48going to antarctica has created
15:55has created a lot of awesome art antar artica totally if it wasn't for antarctica how would we
16:05have screen savers if if it wasn't for antarctica how would we have my favorite documentary happy feet
16:12i mean but think of all the other beautiful places that you could travel and take photos
16:18to for a screen saver you could go to yellowstone happy feet could not happen in yellowstone if i can
16:24literally happen there happy feet is a beautiful story documentary it's a documentary of a real penguin
16:30colony who falls in love via dance and there's one penguin he can't he can't sing sorry they fall
16:36in love via singing singing well but there's dancing too but he can't sing he sounds like a horrible
16:44chicken whale but he can't fucking dance yeah and if we lose that we lose everything
16:54i would dance right now but the floor is incredibly sticky with pie and so i am afraid to kind
17:01of be
17:01moving around that's not our fault
17:05i want to go
17:08and like i want to go too i want to go you guys i want to go i want to
17:15go i want to go i want to go
17:17i want to go and you can't make me not go because i don't want to fucking go and i
17:20say i have nothing
17:21interesting or good or a good point i just want to do it i want to fucking go and you
17:25can't make me
17:26not go because i can do whatever i want okay did you want to go before i said this or
17:30did i make you
17:31want to go but you told me not to go you told me i don't i don't like the cold
17:35i don't like i don't
17:37like the snow i don't like none of that but now i'm gonna go because you told me i can't
17:40go
17:40i'm gonna go if you go in like a wooden boat and you don't have a waterproof jacket you're allowed
17:46to go
17:47i'm going with a fucking cruise ship that's gonna kill everybody that's time that's time
17:56our next abolitionist is part of the performance group chicken big give it up for tej connor
18:12chandler looking very handsome chandler a very important fact about me i have a white queen
18:22it's true if that's illegal lock me up
18:27yeah i'm in a long-standing relationship with a white woman and honestly sometimes i tell audiences
18:32that and they react a little too well i think what you guys gave me tonight is perfect one time
18:39i said
18:40that at a show and they i got a standing ovation and i thought to myself actually you guys i
18:46have to
18:47leave right now for my own safety um yeah so i am in a serious relationship with a white woman
18:56uh
18:56and it's very it's getting more serious and so i am here to say abolish interracial breakups
19:04all right the first reason i have is interracial breakups are hateful
19:20let's talk about what a breakup is what is the shape of a breakup a breakup
19:25it's a transformative violent act that transforms lovers into exes
19:31if we have a white partner and they break up in an active violence with let's say
19:37their indian boyfriend something about that doesn't sit right with me
19:45now the next reason i'm arguing here is they are not fun and this i know personally because i experienced
19:54one of my own for a brief three-day period in june of 2024 while i was experiencing a society
20:02induced
20:02breakdown i personally experienced an interracial breakup and i will say it was so bad truly one of
20:11the worst experiences of my life and that's coming from a man who has broken a bone it's not been
20:18so easy
20:19for me luckily it was brief and it ended in a wonderful what i like to refer to as an
20:26interracial
20:27reunification incident
20:31and so this brings me to my next reason interracial breakups are regressive can we all agree that
20:39interracial relationships are progressive yeah that's right that's technically right
20:47as the world becomes more globalized we'll see more and more interracial couples as we progress
20:53into the future yes we agree on this and so my idea here is that as there are more and
21:00more
21:00interracial couples us as the human race are all converging into one amazing beautiful sort of tan
21:09and something in the middle that will be the final human race
21:18no that's what it says
21:21and once we reach that stage and this is just sort of an interesting point the new interracial
21:27relationship will be between someone from the human race and someone from an alien race
21:34and then we'll really see who's progressive we're just gonna go for it race science
21:44and okay here calm down and you know what you guys took it pretty well honestly
21:51i really made that slide and i was like i'm gonna have to put in a slide to tell people
21:55to calm down but
21:56you guys actually really liked it so now i know what kind of room i'm in okay where were we
22:02race science
22:02now this is sort of my idea about the human race oh my god now you calm down okay now
22:11using science we
22:12can create the baby of the future i'm gonna do a scientific proof for everybody let's take my couple
22:17for example we have a white person dating an indian person right they have a baby that baby and this
22:23is
22:23sort of a well-known thing would be called windian right we know windian we know this it's a common
22:30idea now let's continue onward right so say we have a black and an asian person in a couple
22:38now that baby would be what is referred to commonly as blasian so that's going to be a blasian baby
22:45okay interesting now what happens down the line when the windian baby and the blasian baby
22:52grow up fall in love and have a baby of their own do we have any ideas that baby will
22:59be will blaze indian
23:04okay let's continue the example so here we have a latino person and an arab person in a couple that
23:11baby
23:11would be arabino
23:15and so let's keep it rolling actually a little more we have a native person and an italian person
23:20in a relationship that baby would be natalian thank you now what happens down the line what happens
23:27down the line when the arabino baby and the natalian baby meet at a restaurant and have a very special
23:34night and have a baby of their own that baby would actually be natal arabino
23:41now we're not going to be around for this but three generations from now
23:46the whoblaze indian baby and the natal arabino baby are gonna fall in love it's gonna happen i'm
23:52telling you and then what happens when they have a baby now that baby will be very special that's
23:59the baby of the future that's a baby with eight races that could that that baby will be natal
24:08oblige arabinandi
24:13that baby will celebrate so many holidays you'd be hard-pressed to see them at work ever
24:20i'm just saying and if we ever want to get there we have to abolish interracial breakups i yield my
24:28time
24:35i hated everything about that top to bottom don't boo that don't boo you are you kidding me
24:43are you kidding me oh tez what percentage of the audience is white i don't know i'm a scientist
24:52not a mathematician are you doing that race for white people how does that make you feel that's
24:58crazy divorce is good for women and women should be allowed to break up before women couldn't break up
25:04they couldn't leave people okay i don't know who you are i don't know what you do
25:10she can break up with you fuck that are you kidding me i yield my fucking time
25:19tez tez look you don't gotta do all that i get it you're scared your white queen's gonna break up
25:24with
25:25you you don't have to do delve into like race science to prevent that from happening just like
25:30listen to her and respect her and like celebrate her birthday and like do the dishes like this is
25:37i mean this is crazy this is crazy because i gotta say most of that presentation was you
25:43saying that breakups are bad it didn't get into the weird race shit until the last slide
25:48and like honestly it wasn't weird sure and i find it to be like if it's just very othering to
25:58people
25:58who are in interracial breakups or in relationships so it should just be about breakups by bringing race
26:04into it you're actually really separating those people making them feel othered and they have
26:08different rules than what a white white relationship that's pretty small-minded i have to say okay but
26:14what about that baby on that topic i just want to say when you were doing that really awesome breakdown
26:21of all the different races coming together and stuff like that it's like it was so cool when you did
26:27it
26:27but like when my husband did it in the middle of the night at 3 a.m the fbi came
26:32and it was wrong
26:35but anyway i just wrote i'm white in a heart
26:43this audience has clapped for i'm white
26:48world war one trench warfare and race science
26:54tej i agree with brielle i think maybe you shouldn't say i have a white queen
27:05and maybe that's a good place to start
27:09well that's just a language thing because what if i said i worship a white queen yeah i like that
27:17i like that also isn't indian asian like what are we talking about here
27:24racism is not a real thing right we're putting race and ethnicity and all this stuff into a thing
27:31that's not real we're humans we should all love each other that's what i'm saying no that's not what
27:37you're saying that's not what you're saying that's not you're saying you only want white women that's
27:45what you say i date white women only i only like white women that's what you said
27:52every story you told about relationship was you with a white woman i have been in one relationship
27:57if you're not white okay wait hold on so that relationship that you guys broke up and then you
28:03lured her back into the relationship back this white queen no i did not trap her i did not trap
28:09her
28:10it was an interracial reunification incident
28:19our next abolitionist we are extremely fortunate to have here tonight he is truly one of my favorite
28:25comedians in the world you might know him from his writing the new yorker or his work on some of
28:30your favorite tv shows and movies and although he's a bit of a freak and a bit of a geek
28:34it's a true
28:35honor to even be in the same room as him please give a very special welcome to the one the
28:41only jason siegel
28:54i'm sorry uh not who you were expecting
29:04disappointed that i'm not world famous comedian writer and producer jason siegel
29:12welcome to every day of my life
29:19yes yes in a shocking twist the jason siegel has been nominated for two golden globes two emmys all of
29:26these awards and who won a best song critics choice award for man or muppet from the 2012 muppets movie
29:34a movie he wrote and starred in is not the jason siegel who agreed to come to a lower east
29:40side basement
29:41to participate in a powerpoint party for speech and debate kids
29:52so who am i i'm comedian writer and producer jason siegel
30:03i am a comedian writer and producer who is trying to make a name for myself
30:09in the entertainment industry and my name is jason siegel
30:17good people of caveat we must abolish having the same name as a famous person
30:31yes my real name is jason siegel
30:35did you mean jason siegel no
30:42have you forgotten sarah marshall yet
30:45no we're talking about her right now
30:50is your dad 80s action movie star steven siegel
30:56no my dad is a retired internal medicine doctor
31:05steven siegel
31:09but this isn't just about me or my dad
31:12i'm fighting for the little people people like harvey weinstein
31:20casey anthony
31:22osama vin laden
31:29and all of the william cosby's of the world
31:34if you're monopolizing the first two pages of google you've proven you're incapable of sharing
31:40and something must be done to even the score
31:44if called upon the most famous person with the duplicate name
31:47should change their name to something completely unique
31:52or if they absolutely refuse they must fulfill one request from their less famous counterpart
31:58as penance for constantly overshadowing
32:03now i'm going to say this next part directly to the camera jason siegel
32:10i know you're watching
32:14if you won't change your name then i demand that you give me the one award that you ever won
32:23your best song critics choice award for man or muppet from the 2012 muppets movie that you wrote and starred
32:31in
32:42caveat i implore you we must about
32:50jason siegel
32:51jason siegel this is jason siegel
32:53i've hacked into the abolish everything feed to tell you i will never change my name
32:58and more importantly i will never ever ever give you my best song critics choice
33:03award for a man or muppet from the 2012 muppets movie a movie i both wrote and starred in
33:10fuck you jason siegel long live the political establishment jason siegel out
33:27but in all seriousness uh i did try to get the other jason siegel to be in that video
33:31i sent a letter to six separate people on his team and after weeks of following up i finally received
33:37this email hi jason thank you for thinking of jason
33:46but he's unfortunately not available thank you for thinking of jason
33:53i'm always thinking of jason
34:03that's the problem everyone is always thinking of jason
34:10but you know who they're not thinking about jason
34:28i actually have a really interesting rags to riches story for you
34:33my name is jamie lynn watson for years when you looked me up this is true
34:39jamie lynn spears would come up because she married a man named jamie watson this is true jamie
34:46lynn watson but jason if you look me up now i am the first two pages of my google search
34:59uh reed do you mind looking up Jamie right now
35:06you are the first one but that is a recent search from me
35:11because you were like jerking off to me or something
35:15i was looking for jaylan spears actually
35:20um but this actually uh i'm glad you brought this up brings me to a great point
35:24um which is that all of you guys uh have an incredible privilege which is that each one
35:32of you is the most famous person with your name no no yes yes they know nothing of the struggle
35:45they know nothing can i tell you how you're privileged um let me tell you how you're
35:52privileged uh do you guys think my name is actually glow no my name is glory least christina
35:58tavarez you know how many people know how to fucking say my name when they read it you know
36:02how many people know how to read jason siegel because of jason siegel you should be so lucky
36:06they know how to say your name because of jason siegel you should be kissing the feet he walks on
36:14i love my name i would love it to be my name um
36:19sorry can we actually go to the glow page uh really quick glow you don't need your full name i
36:26mean
36:26you have a beautiful name but you are the first person you come up with glow t
36:33you are a four-letter search you don't need a full name you could be glow t oh you want
36:41her to like
36:41cover up her culture i'm sorry is that what we're talking about no no no a likely response
36:48jason you're going about this all the wrong way you gotta lean in your dad's name is steven that's
36:54hilarious you should name your you should name your kid flock of right like fucking lean in my guy
37:01you should be going to restaurants and getting the best tables you should be getting into clubs
37:06you should really be walking red carpets you should be just pretending you are jason siegel
37:10and then beat him at his own game get more famous than him then he's pining after your
37:14prestige and name but i feel like you're not using this as an opportunity and in the industry you
37:19gotta take any path you can my love showing up to clubs and uh restaurants under the name jason
37:25siegel and let me uh jump right back to the part when i came out and everyone was disappointed
37:32generally it doesn't work when people know what the man looks like okay so call into radio stations
37:39do podcasts you could do an animated show right i want you to think bigger than this don't let it
37:46keep you down i actually think this is incredibly lucky and hey you know what i was happy to see
37:51you
37:58um wait you had a slide for jamie and glow do you have a slide for me yeah sure i
38:03think i might be
38:03the only one in existence and can i tell you no one can also pronounce my name either first or
38:08last
38:08and you didn't even capitalize the m in my last name which is a misspelling so thank you so much
38:13for that
38:13well i was going based off of uh your website which is all caps and that's time
38:23our final abolitionist has appeared on the tonight show comedy central and adult swim put your hands
38:28together for rose kelso yay chandler you smell really good yes awesome listen guys you're not
38:50gonna like what i'm about to say okay so we just gotta rip the band-aid off abolish weed
38:58whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa sick it doesn't feel good guys it doesn't feel good listen listen i get it
39:07we gave it our all seriously making 420 a holiday was so funny right we helped aqua teen hunger force
39:17sell like a ton of awesome posters martha stort and snoop dogg are best friends what
39:25how the hell did that happen but i think it's been enough um you know weed is making us lose
39:31the
39:31plot okay every time someone tells me that they get into a creative flow state from a sativa pre-roll
39:39i start hemorrhaging you know what else would do that for you one focused hour in the no talking
39:48section of a library because of weed i have to pretend to like a hundred gex
39:59and the hyper pop my friend ethan makes that is for fans of a hundred gex
40:07also because of weed no matter what room you're in there's always some motherfucker asking for an
40:14android charger
40:18i don't have one green bubble all right
40:26i'll come clean okay guys i personally don't like weed i'm sorry it makes me eat ungodly food
40:40and rock back and forth in a dry bathtub for hours because i can't stop thinking about how
40:45alone i'm gonna be at 90 years old okay most importantly and i'm serious now weed is a gateway
40:54drug but not in the way that you think it is a gateway drug to fiscal conservatism
41:05and at its worst full-blown libertarianism
41:12now before you get all riled up let's look at the data
41:18in the 60s and 70s roughly 100 percent of baby boomers smoked weed and now none of us can afford
41:27housing
41:38what started as a fun weekend at woodstock ended in the creation of black rock and the 2008 financial crisis
41:48in my most tragic example this young actor loved weed
41:55but after decades of use he decided to become president ronald reagan
42:03and destabilize nicaragua
42:05so the evidence is there and sadly i'm already seeing the effects on my generation
42:12for example these are all responses from my friends who smoke the most weed whenever i ask them to
42:18complete a simple venmo request okay they're so fucking cheap so i took it upon myself to
42:27experience this firsthand to ensure my argument was watertight
42:33i took this edible two hours ago
42:42i took it
42:48and on my bike ride up here there were so many potholes on flatbush
42:54that all i could think was i pay how much in taxes and the roads look like this
43:23you guys are all looking at me
43:28in conclusion
43:30we must turn to more humble options or in other words
43:35better drugs
43:36so here are a few suggestions
43:39number one
43:41a properly dosed ssri
43:45okay
43:46all right
43:47sometimes the greatest high is a quiet mind
43:53number two
43:54buy your cocaine from women
43:59am i right ladies
44:00and number three
44:03my greatest suggestion of the greatest high one can get
44:08youtube.com
44:11family guy full episode
44:13season 22 episode 6
44:16no cuts
44:17no zoom
44:18full episode
44:20i yield my time
44:29uh you said that none of us can afford houses but have you guys noticed andy's new look
44:36andy is a rich man now uh he made a lot of money season one of abolish everything
44:41and he has 17 houses actually
44:44it's true
44:44so
44:45i think
44:47your point is wrong
44:50rose
44:50i don't want to yell at you because you're high
44:52um so
44:54um
44:54i'm gonna do it anyway but be sorry about it
44:57great
44:57um
44:57the war against drugs is a huge fucking problem
45:01it actually is the problem
45:02not the drugs in itself
45:03it fills our prisons
45:04it gives cops an excuse to arrest without cause
45:06there are so many more deaths both both in terms of organized crime
45:10and ods because of the attempt to abolish drugs
45:13regulating them is actually a helpful thing that we can do
45:15by abolishing weed
45:16you are asking to abolish drugs right
45:18this is what happened with reagan in the 80s
45:20it caused so much more chaos
45:21it's an attempt to control people
45:25it is also an incredibly racist sentiment
45:27it all goes to the fucking top
45:29and i fear that by doing this
45:30you are opening up a gateway of issues
45:32that you are maybe not prepared to talk about
45:34but i need you to know this is incredibly problematic
45:36and i don't think
45:37that you're necessarily a bad person
45:40but this is a very bad idea
45:42no
45:51and i'm gonna directly jump off of what brielle said
45:55and say i loved the colors in your thingy
45:59i love money
46:01and i love fiscal conservatism
46:02and i also named four of my daughters after reagan
46:08they're all spelled different ways
46:10one is r-e-g-a-n-n-e
46:12one is r-e-g-a-n-r-e-a-g-a-n
46:16and the other is ronald
46:16and then
46:19and my dog's name is young republican
46:26don't you want to get high off that danky good stuff
46:29don't you just want to be covered in grass
46:32rolling around eating chocolate sauce with your buddies
46:35and like talking crazy stuff
46:37family guy season 22 f6
46:39you know how much funnier family guy is
46:42if you're a little bit high
46:44i don't know
46:45i think people gotta watch family guy with a clear mind
46:47the jokes are there guys
46:51on one side you're like
46:52weed fucks up your life
46:53and you don't do anything
46:54but on the other side you're like
46:54weed makes you rich
46:55so which one is it
47:00i don't know
47:01i'm also really high
47:04can we bring all of our abolitionists back to the stage
47:08give it up one more time
47:10for sophia manfredi
47:15tej kanna
47:18jason siegel
47:20and rose kelso
47:24so here's how this is going to work
47:25i am going to list each of the things that were abolished
47:28you can cheer for as many of them as you'd like
47:30the loudest cheers
47:31are going to be the ones that are used to determine
47:34who wins this cartoonishly obvious sack of cash
47:37and an invitation to our season finale
47:40but we are going to determine this
47:42using a proprietary piece of abolish everything technology
47:45the cheer-o-meter 3000
47:52who thinks that we should abolish going to Antarctica
48:00who thinks that we should abolish interracial breakups
48:08who thinks we should abolish having the same name as a famous person
48:19and who thinks that we should abolish weed
48:30okay
48:30tej and jason please step forward
48:40who thinks that we should abolish interracial breakups
48:50and who thinks we should abolish having the same name as a famous person
49:04my friends we have abolished having the same name as a famous person
49:11congratulations to jason siegel
49:17give it up one more time for all of our abolitionists
49:23a hearty fuck you to the panel
49:30and thank you for watching on nebula
49:34we'll see you next time good night
49:36i think that it would be bad if you gave kids drugs at school
49:40no that's a good idea
49:42we should give them we should give them a drug
49:44that sounds great
49:45thank you
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