- 7 hours ago
Bob's Burgers - Season 16 Episode 11 -
The Keyboard Kid
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The Keyboard Kid
tele: https://t.me/TopFilmUSA1
#film#shows#usa#usashows#hot#filmhot
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:19Hey, Jimmy Jr.
00:20Hey, Shana.
00:21Are you excited for the 8th grade academic improvement reward field trip?
00:24You've got to believe it.
00:25I developed better study skills this semester, and I'm ready to be rewarded with a field trip.
00:30And it's so cool that it's at that indoor rock climbing place, vertically challenged.
00:34Yeah, I looked it up.
00:35You get a partner, and one person belays while the other person climbs.
00:38And the belayer stands underneath the climber and holds a rope and just makes sure everything's safe up there in
00:43the harness area.
00:45So want to be belay buddies?
00:47Uh, oh, okay.
00:48Yes!
00:49I've been doing pull-ups to get ready.
00:50Working on those biceps and trapeziuses.
00:53Man, I hope a harness is comfortable.
00:55I did ziplining last summer, and the harness was super tight.
00:58Mm-hmm.
00:59Mm-hmm.
00:59Well, I'm going to go meet Z.
01:01He found a sponge, and we're going to go kick it around.
01:03Okay, see you belay-der.
01:05Just got to keep that 2.8 GPA to be eligible for the field trip.
01:09You mean, like, metaphorically?
01:11No, like a 2.8 grade point average.
01:14Oh, okay.
01:15Do I have a 2.8 grade point average?
01:17No.
01:18Did you think you had a 2.8 grade point average?
01:21I don't know.
01:21Jimmy Jr. has one.
01:22He's developed very strong study skills this semester.
01:26Yeah, I've heard.
01:26Sorry.
01:27So I just need to zhuzh my old GPA up a few notches.
01:30Um, I was hoping I could maybe sign up for one of those super cool easy classes.
01:35I think they're called electives.
01:36You know, less taxing, more chillaxing.
01:39Wink, wink.
01:40Yeah, I think Peter Pescadero got an A in robotics for taping a battery to a cup.
01:44Okay.
01:45What about typing?
01:47Typing?
01:47Mr. Grant teaches typing.
01:48The new term started this week, but I can still sign you up.
01:52My fingers have tickled a few keyboards in their day.
01:54Let's do it.
01:54You want to go to that indoor climbing gym.
01:56I get it.
01:57There's nothing like being 12 feet off the ground to make you feel like you're 20 feet
02:01off the ground.
02:02I'm kind of excited about the belay thing.
02:04She wants to look up at Jimmy Jr.'s butt and kind of control it with a rope.
02:07Like it's a float at the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade.
02:11Hey, Teddy.
02:12Hi, Teddy.
02:13Hey, guys.
02:13I'll have a burger of the day and extra fries.
02:16Extra fries?
02:17Check you out.
02:18Yeah, I just landed a big job.
02:20I'm custom building a high-end grill for this rich guy's outdoor kitchen.
02:23A grill?
02:24Really?
02:24What kind?
02:25A gaucho grill.
02:26Wait, seriously?
02:26You're building an Argentinian gaucho grill?
02:28That's like my dream grill.
02:30I thought I was your dream grill.
02:32Ha!
02:32Yeah, the rich guy, Elliot.
02:34He's super into Argentinian cooking.
02:35He's actually on some sort of food pilgrimage in Patagonia right now.
02:39I'm working while he's gone.
02:40Wait, Teddy.
02:40Do you know how to build a gaucho grill?
02:42I mean, how hard can it be?
02:44It's a grill, right?
02:45And then you slap some Argentina on it.
02:47No, Teddy.
02:47You gotta have a firebox.
02:49You gotta have an adjustable grill grate so you can control the distance between the meat and the flame.
02:53Whoa, Bob.
02:54Slow down.
02:54I don't speak grill nerd.
02:56Ha!
02:56He is a grill nerd.
02:57It's just, it's more complicated than some normal backyard barbecue.
03:01It needs to be done right.
03:02Hey, it's more complicated.
03:05That's you, Bob.
03:06Ha ha!
03:06It needs to be done right.
03:08Ha ha!
03:09I don't like either of you.
03:10The Constitution.
03:12The Constitution.
03:12Romeo and Juliet.
03:14The Bible.
03:14Ever heard of them?
03:15Well, they were all typed on computer keyboards.
03:18Wait, what?
03:19Everyone in this classroom has the ability to type.
03:23But right now, your fingers are clay.
03:24I will mold that clay.
03:26And I swear to God and QWERTY that by the end of this term, you will be typing up to
03:3145 WPM.
03:33WPM?
03:33Words per minute.
03:35How fast do I type?
03:36Sorry, I thought someone asked how fast I type.
03:38The answer, 110 WPM.
03:41I guess that's why it's on a certificate over there on the wall.
03:43I want to type in competition.
03:45Fastest 13-year-old in the county that year.
03:47No big deal.
03:48Except that it was a huge deal.
03:50Yeah.
03:51Now, place your fingers of the index variety on F and J.
03:54Just feel for the keys with the little bumps.
03:56Ew.
03:57Oh, wow.
03:57I've always wondered about those bumps.
03:59I thought maybe they were the keyboard's nipples, which now that I say it seems wrong.
04:03Okay, so your fingers are on the home row.
04:05The home row is the cornerstone of learning to type.
04:08Keeps us oriented.
04:09It keeps us safe.
04:10You lose the home row, you're in the wilderness.
04:13Cold.
04:13Alone.
04:14Waiting for death's sweet kiss.
04:16Okay, let's hit return to load your first prompt.
04:21Sheila went to the store.
04:28Wow, this is taking forever.
04:29What if I just type how I always type?
04:31Take a quick vacation from home row?
04:34Now Sheila can get where she needs to go.
04:36Wow, Tina, you're fast.
04:37I can't even find the O.
04:39Is that it?
04:40Is that it?
04:41Fine, I'm just going to use the Q.
04:43Uh, Tina, what's happening here?
04:45Your fingers are all over the place.
04:47It's like a Muppet playing piano.
04:49I know, but this has been kind of working for me.
04:51You appear to be typing at 50 WPM, but I don't even understand what I'm looking at.
04:55Just go to the home row.
04:57Go home.
04:57Go home now.
04:58Or I just, boom.
05:00Ugh.
05:00Where are the emojis on this?
05:03Okay, Mom, I typed up your grocery list.
05:06All right.
05:07Gene, I'm going to print out that letter to Michael McDonald that you had me type up, asking
05:10him what a doobie is.
05:11We'll get to the bottom of this.
05:13Anybody else need anything typed?
05:14Can you crap out a paper on photosynthesis real quick?
05:17No, Louise.
05:18Fine.
05:19I guess I'll do my homework, like an idiot.
05:22Boy, that class has got you typing up a storm.
05:24I know, I'm in the zone, and I'm kind of the fastest one in there.
05:27So, yeah, I'm going to get that easy A, which means I'm also going to get to see a
05:31boy full of B.
05:32Hmm.
05:32Jimmy Jr.'s bud.
05:33Yep, got it.
05:34Hello?
05:35Bob, I finished the gaucho grill.
05:37I did everything they said to do online, but I don't know if I built it right.
05:40Can you come over tomorrow and check and look?
05:42Oh, now you want my help?
05:43Yes, please.
05:45Uh, I don't know if I want to.
05:46What?
05:47Yeah, maybe I'm busy with my cool life.
05:50Come on.
05:51I'm sorry I called you a grill nerd.
05:52Just come over, Bob.
05:54I need you.
05:55Okay, fine.
05:56Great.
05:56I knew you would, nerd.
05:59So, how's it look?
06:00Hmm.
06:01Hmm?
06:01What's hmm about it?
06:02It just seems like the lowest level for the grill grate is still too far from the embers.
06:07Oh, no.
06:07No, no, no.
06:08I can't lose this job, Bob.
06:10Rich people make great clients because of all the money they have.
06:13Okay, I can help.
06:14We can do this.
06:15We're going to fix all his mistakes and make you perfect.
06:18Bob, please don't talk about me to the grill.
06:20He doesn't understand you, and he never will.
06:23Cut it out, Bob.
06:24Don't listen to him, grill.
06:25You were my friend first.
06:28Hey, belay buddy.
06:29Hi, Tina.
06:30Yeah, you are.
06:31What?
06:31You know it.
06:32Well, look at Tina.
06:33Having witty banter in the hallway with my belay buddy.
06:36Rocking that A in typing class.
06:38Now, nothing can come between me and a harness full of hiney.
06:40I mean, I definitely have an A in typing, right?
06:42No, you're not getting an A, Tina.
06:44What?
06:45But I'm the fastest typer in here.
06:46I'm pulling down 75 WPMs.
06:48Yes, your bizarre and somewhat grotesque finger waggling seems to work somehow.
06:53But I can't in good conscience give you an A.
06:55You're not learning to type the way you should.
06:57You're a street typer.
06:58And frankly, it's disgusting.
07:00Okay, fine.
07:01If it'll get me an A, I'll use the home row.
07:03See?
07:06Typing...
07:07So...
07:08Fast...
07:08Yeah, never mind.
07:09My fingers hate this.
07:10Ugh, Mr. Grant, I need an A so I can have a 2.8 grade point average so I can
07:13go on the
07:14field trip to vertically challenged.
07:15I wish those words meant anything at all to me, but they just don't.
07:18Listen, my job is to help you not type like a psycho.
07:22It doesn't seem fair.
07:23If I'm fast, it shouldn't matter how I do it.
07:25Okay, what if, uh...
07:27What if I can type that fast?
07:29110 words per minute?
07:31Yeah.
07:31Then would you give me an A so I could go on the trip?
07:33Tina, I'm glad you got big dreams.
07:36Even when those dreams are ridiculously stupid.
07:38So, sure, I'll give you an A if you can hit 110 WPM.
07:42Yes.
07:43Mr. Grant, my mom wrote me a note.
07:45I can't type today.
07:46I have type 1 finger beadies.
07:48It looks like my handwriting, but it's not.
07:52Definitely should try Cherrywood.
07:55A true temple of me deserves the best.
07:57Are you talking about your underwear, Dad?
07:59He's texting with Teddy.
08:01Can't wait to throw some beef in there.
08:04Dad's texting Teddy if I'm taking a turn.
08:06Ah, 80 WPMs.
08:08Still not fast enough.
08:09Hey, T, you think we can borrow those fast little fingers of yours to, I don't know,
08:13do restaurant stuff?
08:14It's called a work ethic.
08:15Heard of it?
08:15Because Gene and I are all about it!
08:18Yeah!
08:19Sorry, I can't.
08:20I've only got a week to hit 110 words per minute if I want to go to vertically challenged
08:23and, uh, you know.
08:24See, Jimmy Jr.'s butt in a harness.
08:26Yes, we know.
08:27Dad, I was going to say get to do some fun indoor climbing.
08:30Oh, sorry.
08:31And also, yeah, I see that butt.
08:34110 words per minute, you do it again, that's how you win it, you do it again, that's how
08:46you win it, you do it again, that's how you win it, you do it again, 110 WPMs.
08:50I did it!
08:51What the?
08:51I mean, good!
08:53Good for you!
08:54Wow, Tina typed so fast.
08:57She doesn't even type the way you showed us.
08:59It's like everything you taught us doesn't matter at all.
09:02Maybe Tina should teach the class.
09:04She kind of looks like an old lady already anyway.
09:06Thanks, Jocelyn.
09:07The last part I didn't like, but...
09:10Mr. Grant, your face is weird.
09:12Are you pooping?
09:13I'm not pooping, Jocelyn.
09:17So I get the A, right?
09:18I can go on the field trip on Friday?
09:19You can go.
09:20Yes!
09:21Mr. Grant, just go to the bathroom.
09:23You're going to have an accident and it's going to be a real distraction.
09:27Wow, it turned out great.
09:29We made something beautiful, didn't we, Teddy?
09:31We sure did, Bob.
09:32Linda, I'm glad you could come too, even though you didn't help at all.
09:35Well, I wasn't about to work at the restaurant while you two beef boys had to test out the grill
09:39party.
09:39I was only going to be gone a couple hours.
09:41Also, it's not a party, Lynn, just because I brought really good meat and wine and the perfect pineapple.
09:47Ed Toons, Bluetooth is a go.
10:03All right, that A in typing got you your 2.8.
10:07Yay!
10:07Tina's going to be the first person in our family to graduate eighth grade.
10:11And I'm making a note in the system that you will be absent from class to attend the vertically challenged
10:15field trip on Friday.
10:17Yep, I'll be busy belaying my buddy.
10:18Uh-huh.
10:19Okay, bye.
10:20Hmm, that's odd.
10:21What?
10:22Someone put another note in here for something on Friday.
10:25Is it to remember not to come to school on Saturday and Sunday?
10:28A mandatory typing test has been scheduled for Friday at the exact same time they'll be loading up the bus
10:34for the field trip.
10:34A mandatory typing test?
10:36It says anyone who misses this test will get an automatic F, which could drop some people's GPA below 2
10:41.8, rendering them field trip ineligible.
10:43Well, that's specific.
10:44What?
10:45I'm going to go all caps on his ass.
10:48You.
10:49Me?
10:50Me what?
10:51You know what.
10:52I'm just going into the faculty lounge so I can enjoy my posture from last night and the night before.
10:57Don't try to impress us with what you eat for lunch.
11:00What's this BS about a mandatory typing test at the same time as we're loading the bus for the field
11:04trip?
11:04Oh, that.
11:05Right.
11:06Well, it just felt like a good time for a mandatory test, that's all.
11:09But I deserve to go on that field trip.
11:11I worked hard for that A.
11:12Yeah, which is not something we usually do, pal.
11:14Look, if you refuse to learn the home row method, then you'll never be a great typer or succeed at
11:20anything at all ever.
11:22I'm as good a typer as you when you were my age.
11:24I bet I'm even a better typer than you now.
11:27Ah, that's hilarious, Tina.
11:29You are not a better typer than me.
11:32Yes, I am.
11:34Well, maybe the only way to settle this is a typing battle.
11:37Huh?
11:37A typing battle?
11:38After school.
11:39Tina versus Mr. Grant.
11:41Student versus teacher.
11:42Teen girl versus late 50s man.
11:45How dare you?
11:46Look, I can't have a typing battle with a student.
11:48We're supposed to help students, not demolish them and leave them in a puddle of their own blood.
11:53He's scared.
11:54I'm not scared.
11:55Scared of typing battles?
11:56Scared of intimacy?
11:57I'm not scared of either of those things.
11:59Well, half scared of one.
12:01Then say yes.
12:01If I win, there's no typing test on Friday.
12:04And if you lose, which you will.
12:06I guess you get the pride of having beaten a child at something.
12:09How about if you lose?
12:10There's still a test on Friday and you have to clean every single keyboard and typing class.
12:15And trust me, you're going to see some stuff that'll haunt you forever.
12:18You're on.
12:18I will crush you.
12:20But not this afternoon because I'm getting a thing lasered off.
12:23But tomorrow afternoon, I will crush you.
12:26You teach it, Tina.
12:28Which your mother and I are hoping is totally normal.
12:31Thanks.
12:31Our girl's ready.
12:32And you should find a spot for Mr. Grant's head.
12:34Because we're coming home with it.
12:36Don't bring it home.
12:36I want to declutter.
12:38You got this, Tina.
12:39Yeah, I do.
12:40Good luck, Tina.
12:41You're fighting for all of us, girl.
12:43I am.
12:44I hope you win today, Tina.
12:45You deserve to go on that trip, even though you kind of game the system.
12:48Thanks.
12:49I'll be there rooting for you with my mouth, not my arms.
12:52I'm pretty sore from all the upper body stuff I've been doing to get ready for vertically challenged.
12:56That's why I keep rubbing this cool tone cream on.
12:59Whoa, that's potent.
13:01I didn't know we were allowed to bring creams to school.
13:03This changes everything.
13:04You really got to rub it in.
13:07Oh, it feels so good on my muscles.
13:10Oh, that's just tough.
13:12Damn.
13:13See you later.
13:14Tina?
13:15Mr. Grant?
13:16Just keep walking, Tina.
13:18We'll see you after school at the type-off, Mr. Grant.
13:21And also, Tina will probably see you during the regular scheduled typing class, which may be a little awkward today,
13:26but yeah.
13:27I can't believe you were dumb enough to agree to battle a student.
13:30Yeah, what's next?
13:31A kid challenges me to a running competition?
13:34I threw my back out pulling up my shorts today.
13:37Guys, cool your muffins.
13:38I'm gonna win.
13:39You better win, Grant.
13:41I'm not learning all the state capitals, no matter how many kids want to battle me.
13:45Guys, I'm freaking out.
13:47Oh, God, oh, God.
13:48He's got security footage.
13:50He's gonna see everything.
13:51What?
13:51What are you talking about?
13:52What security footage?
13:53Elliot, the gaucho grill guy, apparently has a security camera in his backyard.
13:58Oh.
13:58Uh-oh.
13:58He texted me asking about the grill.
14:00He's just got cell reception back.
14:02He's getting on a plane in Patagonia, and he's excited to watch the footage of the grill being built on
14:06his layover in Miami.
14:08So, he's gonna see.
14:10I was having a big old beef party in his backyard.
14:13Oh, boy.
14:13He'll never hire me again.
14:15Also, what if he doesn't even pay me for this job?
14:17I dropped a lot of money into that grill.
14:19You just had that, the pineapple grilling hook, didn't you, Bob?
14:22It came with the sausage hook.
14:24It was the set, Teddy.
14:25Bob, Teddy, calm down.
14:26We'll figure something out.
14:28Should we just go smash the security camera?
14:30No, no, it's all online.
14:32Okay, okay.
14:33Um, well, right now, when he watches the footage, you're gonna be the bad guy.
14:38You had an unauthorized beef party with this brand new grill.
14:41Yeah.
14:41But, what if, you were the good guy who heroically saved the grill?
14:46Saved it from what?
14:48Like, one, three, one, 40, and 18, 11, 19, 19, 19, 19, 19, 19, 20, 20, 20, 20, 20.
15:23Okay, standard type-off rules.
15:25We go three rounds, fastest typer wins the round,
15:28best out of three wins the whole damn thing.
15:30Oh, and keep it down.
15:31We don't want principal spores finding out about this.
15:34We're not quite sure where he stands on teacher-student battles.
15:37Hey, what?
15:38Try not to cry too hard when I whoop you.
15:41Actually, you can use your tears to clean off these filthy keyboards.
15:44Eh, just stretching out my right pinky, because I'm about to delete you.
15:49Ho, ho, ho! Yes, you went there!
15:51Type his hat off, Tina!
15:53Yeah!
15:53Okay, people.
15:55Prompt one!
16:07Who are you rooting for?
16:09What? Tina.
16:10Same.
16:12Mr. Grant, 111 words per minute.
16:15Tina, 108.
16:16First round goes to Mr. Grant.
16:18Oh, man.
16:20Come on, Tina.
16:20You can beat him.
16:21School that teacher.
16:22Yeah!
16:23Serve him a typing hot mug of defeat.
16:25Prompt two!
16:29There she is.
16:30There's our freaky-fingered gal.
16:32Look at those fingers bang!
16:37Mr. Grant, 112 words per minute.
16:40Tina, 113.
16:42This round goes to Tina.
16:44Yeah!
16:45Crap!
16:46Last round, last prompt.
16:48Winner of this wins the type-off.
16:50Oh, my God!
16:52It could be either of them!
16:53You got him on the ropes, Tina.
16:54Now finish him!
16:55Sweep the fingers!
16:57Vertically challenged.
16:58Here you come, Tina.
17:00I can.
17:02Huh, that's a pretty wet high ten.
17:04No judgment.
17:05Wait, my hands feel weird.
17:07My God.
17:08Ah, my fingers are getting all tingly.
17:09Uh-oh.
17:10It's the cool zone stuff from my sore muscles.
17:13Ah!
17:13Ah, they're numb!
17:14My fingers are numb!
17:15I can't feel the keys!
17:16That's not good.
17:17I'm so sorry, Tina.
17:18I was just trying to give you a supportive high ten.
17:21Ah!
17:21I can't feel anything!
17:23Well, now you know how teachers feel.
17:25Final prompt!
17:27Wait!
17:27Wait!
17:27Wait!
17:28Stop!
17:28Hold on the prompt!
17:29I got cool zone on my hands, but now my fingers are numb.
17:32I'm not going to be able to type.
17:33Oh, wow.
17:34Let me head over to my filing cabinet and file that under Not My Problem.
17:38I got to wipe it off!
17:38I got to wipe it off!
17:40It's not working!
17:42Quick emergency bathroom trip!
17:43Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
17:45Uh, uh, uh, uh!
17:47Uh!
17:48Ugh!
17:48Why won't he just text the call already?
17:51I'm so nervous.
17:52I can't even eat.
17:53It's going to be okay, Teddy.
17:54It was a good plan.
17:55Mm, not really.
17:56Oh, oh!
17:57This is him!
17:57Hello?
17:58Hey, Elliot!
18:00Uh-huh.
18:01Yay!
18:02That's us on the...
18:03Yes, we grilled.
18:05We were just making sure it worked at the...
18:07Well, I wouldn't call it a party.
18:09I guess there was some dancing.
18:12Yep, that was a few cannonballs, but I'm really sur-
18:16Oh, yeah, that car came out of nowhere.
18:19And the guy with the bat,
18:20he must have been one of those angry vegetarians I've been hearing about.
18:23They hate grills.
18:24Yeah, I know.
18:25The twists and turns of life, huh?
18:28Okay, great.
18:29I'll come over tomorrow.
18:30We can settle up.
18:31Bye.
18:32Yes, he bought it.
18:34Yeah.
18:34Seriously?
18:35Hello?
18:35Oh, God.
18:36Hey, sorry.
18:37I'm at an auction and a guy bought a thing.
18:39A very famous pair of pants.
18:41Gotta go.
18:42Bye.
18:43I couldn't wash it off.
18:44Would it kill this school to have some warm water or soap in these friggin' bathrooms?
18:48Soap?
18:49Ooh la la.
18:50I'm so sorry, Tina.
18:51Damn you, cool zone.
18:53In what zone is this considered cool?
18:55Can we, um, reschedule?
18:57You can't reschedule a type-off, Tina.
19:00Anyway, isn't your little field trip tomorrow?
19:02So, yeah, we finished this today.
19:04Sorry, Tina.
19:05Third prompt!
19:08I don't know where my fingers are.
19:10I bet you're wishing you'd just learn to use the home row now, huh, Tina?
19:14But you just had to go your own way, didn't you?
19:16Blaze your own trail with your freakish freestyling.
19:20Well, you know what can happen to trailblazers?
19:22They go up in blazing flames.
19:24Yeah, that was a burn burn.
19:26Tina, don't let anyone tell you where home row is.
19:29You make your own home row, you crazy SOB.
19:31I can't.
19:32I'm gonna lose.
19:34Come on, Tina.
19:36Weird freakish typer.
19:37Come on, Tina.
19:39Weird freakish typer.
19:41Come on, Tina.
19:43Weird freakish typer.
19:45Come on, Tina.
19:50Weird freakish typer.
19:52Come on, Tina.
19:54Come on, Tina.
19:55We're freaking typer.
19:56Mr. Grant, 115 words per minute.
19:59Tina, 116.
20:01Tina wins!
20:02What?
20:03Yeah!
20:04No, no, no, no, no!
20:05Get it!
20:06Freaking Grant.
20:07Yes!
20:07Yes!
20:08Yes!
20:08Mwah!
20:09Mwah!
20:09Mwah!
20:10OK, my lips are on.
20:12Yeah.
20:13Did you see me get to that handhold, Tina?
20:15Oh, I saw.
20:16I saw the whole thing.
20:18Looking good up there, buddy.
20:21Peria gaugia, peria gaugia, ha spendito fuego, dentro de mi corazon, templo de la corne,
20:43Siempre te adorare peria gaugia.
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