- 2 hours ago
Your Friends and Neighbors S02E04
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TVTranscript
00:06Oh, my God.
00:56Oh, my God.
01:07Oh, my God.
01:10Oh, my God.
01:10Oh, my God.
01:10Oh, my God.
01:10Oh, my God.
01:10Oh, my God.
01:10Oh, my God.
01:10Oh, my God.
01:10Oh, my God.
01:10Oh, my God.
01:11Oh, my God.
01:11Oh, my God.
01:11Oh, my God.
01:42I can't tell if the ham rings in my brain are out there.
01:45Hey, let me cook you something for breakfast.
01:47I'm okay. I got this.
01:51You got plans after school?
01:52No.
01:53Hey, I'm sorry.
01:54I've been so distracted.
01:55I'm sorry, I've been so distracted with this whole Tori thing.
01:57No, no, no.
01:57It's fine, really.
01:58How about this?
01:59You, me, my famous duff shells, tonight, dinner.
02:03You can even bring Morgan.
02:06Hey, we broke up.
02:08Hey, we broke up.
02:10Hey, sweetie, just let me know.
02:13Hey, sweetie, just let me know about dinner, okay?
02:14I will.
02:14Listen, don't worry about Morgan.
02:17There are plenty of fish in the sea.
02:18Hey, sweetie.
02:19God, I sound like my mother.
02:21Hi, Tor.
02:24Bye, Mom.
02:25Hi, sweetheart.
02:26You look gorgeous.
02:30Bye, sweetie.
02:31Tori.
02:34Love you.
02:35Bye, sweetie.
02:49Bree.
02:50Hi.
02:50Good morning.
02:51Hi, Arlo.
02:52Hey, buddy.
02:55You doing some work?
02:57What is all this?
02:58Well, since you were so concerned about Arlo,
03:00we figured we'd build a wall for your protection.
03:02Wow.
03:04Seems like a little bit of an overreaction.
03:06You handed me a bag full of shit.
03:11Look, haven't you ever had a bad day?
03:13I did that day.
03:15Fair enough.
03:16Well, do you have any idea when the jackhammering portion
03:18of the construction's gonna be over?
03:19And also, their equipment is tearing up my lawn.
03:22You'd have to ask them.
03:23Okay.
03:27Well, this'll be great.
03:29Good fences make good neighbors.
03:31Good people make good neighbors, Mel.
03:42Can you not step on my brick here?
03:44Because we hope the-
03:50The paper shadow in a house of stone.
03:55The wooden flag of a drifting dream boat.
04:00I never knew how far the ride was gonna go.
04:04Till I look back at the smoke
04:08You can't keep up with the Joneses
04:13Don't want to run for the roses
04:18I got my pocket opposing
04:23Sometimes I wonder why
04:25Sometimes I wonder why
04:28I just don't have the Joneses
04:33Don't want to smell their dying roses
04:38I got my pocket full of pulses
04:43I don't keep up with the Joneses
05:05Very nice
05:06You don't usually bring me stuff in the original packaging
05:11Don't tell me you're robbing department stores now
05:14These are actual gifts
05:15I'm managing some investment capital
05:18Elaborate gifts are part of the wooing process
05:22Now I understand the fancy suit
05:24What? This whole thing?
05:26It's a sharp suit
05:27Thank you, Rocco
05:32What's your problem?
05:33My problem is that once again
05:36I need to tell you something you should already know
05:40Thinking that you can keep a foot in each boat
05:43That is how a balund like you drowns
05:46What is a balund?
05:47A fool
05:48But you're not a fool
05:50An idiot, definitely
05:52But not a fool
05:54So why don't you tell me
05:56What it is that you are trying so hard to not tell me?
06:05I'm being blackmailed
06:10The book guy
06:11Yeah
06:12He has me on camera
06:14In his house
06:16So he wants me to manage
06:18And invest his dirty money
06:20I do that for him
06:21He deletes the video
06:22So you're taking the word of a blackmailer
06:25What choice do I have?
06:27Blackmail always has an expiration date
06:30It's up to you to decide when that is
06:56My mom said she won't let me take the Benz to college
06:59And now I'm free
07:22Hey, what's up?
07:23You tell me
07:25I had a short thing, Coop
07:26And you blew me off
07:27And don't tell me it's because of your back
07:28I can tell when you're bullshitting me
07:30I'm dealing with some stuff here, okay?
07:32Anything I should know about?
07:34No, just family stuff
07:36Okay, well, can you put a clock on it?
07:38All of my cash is tied up with your buddy Barney
07:40And if you're going to take some sort of break, tell me
07:43Because I need to make other plans
07:45I'll get back to you
07:46I'm serious, Coop
07:48I'm working on it, okay?
07:49I promise
07:50Really?
07:51Bye
07:52Hey
07:52Hey
07:54I thought you had practice
07:55What's up?
07:56Wasn't in the mood
07:59But please don't give me shit about it
08:00I don't have any more parents to run to
08:03Okay, fine
08:04But it's going to cost you
08:07What are you going to make me do?
08:08The same thing my father would have made me do
08:12Come on
08:14Come on, last round of shits
08:16Good luck
08:16All right, 30
08:1830
08:1931
08:19What?
08:2010, three in a row
08:22She's humiliating you, baby
08:24Are you checking my math?
08:26No, no
08:27He always was a sore loser
08:28Give me a break
08:29Whose dumb idea was this?
08:30Oh shit, I gotta go
08:33Gotta get ready
08:34This was fun
08:35Stay again
08:37Bye
08:37Bye
08:39Hey
08:41Did you call your mom?
08:42Dad
08:42Look, if you don't want to talk about college right now, fine
08:45If you don't want to talk about skipping practice, that's okay
08:48But we are talking about this
08:49About what?
08:50Tori
08:51There are things in this world that might be worth quitting
08:55Your mother is not one of them
08:57Okay?
08:58I mean, I know she can be a little pushy
09:03But she's got your best interests at all
09:05She's trying to take care of you, you know?
09:07I need a little time
09:08Well, it's gonna be awkward when you see her tomorrow night
09:11Why am I seeing her tomorrow?
09:13Seder at Harry and Gretchen's
09:15Shit, that's tomorrow?
09:17Yeah, it is
09:18Can't we just skip it?
09:19No
09:20It's Passover
09:21You're not even the Jewish parents
09:23I'm not Mexican either
09:24I like their food too
09:26I'm going to bed
09:29Shalom
09:33Okay, so it's A major
09:35Then a D major
09:37Then an E major
09:40Right?
09:41Okay
09:41So I'm going to sing
09:43You guys are going to play
09:44And make sure you press really hard
09:46Because if your fingers aren't burning
09:47Then you're not doing it right
09:48Also, it's all down strokes
09:50Because this is punk rock
09:52Here we go
09:53One, two, three, four
09:55They're piling in the backseat
10:02Generating steam heats
10:06Good pulse
10:08Dating to the backbeat
10:13Blitzkriek
10:14Hey
10:18What's your name again?
10:20Finn
10:21Yeah, hey Finn
10:23Could you do me a favor?
10:25Could you shut the fuck up
10:26And pay attention?
10:29Great
10:30Alright, now it's the bridge
10:32And it starts on a D
10:33One, two, three, four
10:36Hey
10:37Ho
10:40Let's go
10:41To A
11:10Hello, hominim
11:11So nice to see you
11:12You're feeding her empty food
11:13I don't actually feed her
11:15She's carrying a child
11:16Hers is a high-risk pregnancy
11:19It's a geriatric pregnancy
11:21You don't use that phrase
11:22No
11:24Did you, um
11:25Did you tell her about your 25-year-old universe?
11:27I don't care what the doctor said
11:28You're not going to poison my daughter or my grandchild
11:31I just want to point out that
11:33I don't do the shopping here
11:35And neither does grace
11:36Not anymore
11:37You need to be more vigilant
11:39She needs balance
11:43Well, this all looks very balanced
11:48Also, who are you?
11:52Good yon, sir
11:53Hey
11:54How are you, pal?
11:55Good to see you
11:56Good to see you, too
11:57Alright, well done
11:58Thank you, Harry
11:59Being married to a Jewish woman for two decades
12:01I had seen my share of seders
12:04But none compared to the one Gretchen and Harry threw every year
12:10I was never a fan of organized religion
12:12But a celebration of wine and freedom needs no sales pitch
12:16Oh, welcome
12:18Gretchen, thank you for having us
12:20Remember Tori
12:21I'm so glad you couldn't make it
12:23You look lovely
12:28It's a long story
12:31This is a teenage
12:33Okay
12:35Heyo
12:37Welcome
12:41How is she?
12:42How are you?
12:44I'm giving her space
12:46Good
12:47I think she's going to quit the tennis team
12:49What?
12:50God, what did you tell her?
12:52I'm giving her space
12:53Is your plan to just let her ride this out until the wheels come off?
12:57Because newsflash
12:58The wheels are already off
12:59And if she's living with you
13:00You need to start acting like her father
13:03Not like the cool roommate
13:04So I'm cool now?
13:06Andrew Cooper
13:06I will
13:07I'm on it
13:08Yes
13:11Guess what?
13:12Hmm?
13:13Hunter broke up with Morgan
13:15I know
13:16He's been hanging out with Delilah
13:18I want to ask his talk
13:18Hanging out or hooking up?
13:20Kids these days do not use those terms
13:22What, are you the expert now?
13:23Yeah, I'm a very cool expert
13:25Really?
13:26Hey, hey
13:26Hey
13:28What's up?
13:28Hi
13:29Hi
13:30It's Shana Tova
13:32We're on holiday
13:32But that's okay
13:33Sorry, I thought that was universal
13:37Anyway, this is Bella
13:38She's been helping me with the move
13:39How is the new place coming along?
13:41I'm not going to tell you
13:42Because I want you to see it yourself
13:43You know where to find me?
13:44Yeah, I do
13:44On the floor of my new man cave
13:46Drunk off your house
13:49I'm being summoned
13:50Excuse me
13:51Uh, nice to meet you
13:52Thanks
13:59Oh, love this
14:01Is this the work?
14:02I'm not telling you
14:03And get your paws off it
14:04Next thing you know
14:05We'll show up wearing the same thing
14:06Correct, we will
14:09Happy Passover, honey
14:10Did you try the caviar on matzo?
14:12Not yet
14:12I thought there was an interesting dissonance
14:14In putting a delicacy
14:16On the bread of affliction
14:16It shouldn't work
14:17But it does
14:18Exactly
14:18I'll get it
14:19Hey, I heard that Tori
14:20Turned on Princeton
14:21What?
14:22Really?
14:23What is she going to do?
14:25She hasn't figured it out yet
14:26She doesn't have another plan?
14:29Define plan
14:30Oh, hey, Tori
14:32Don't worry, guys
14:33My OnlyFans already has
14:34Like 2,000 subscribers
14:35And I haven't even shown my tits yet
14:52You need a tip jar
14:53Hey, uh
15:05Don't stop
15:19Ash!
15:20Hey!
15:21How are you, bud?
15:21Sam!
15:22Hey!
15:23Hey!
15:23Come on in
15:23This is for you
15:25Thank you
15:26What's she doing here?
15:28Oh, no
15:28I didn't invite her
15:30She did not just show up
15:32You know, this was a bad idea
15:33I'm just going to go
15:34What?
15:35No, come on
15:35It'll be awkward for one minute
15:36And it'll be fun
15:37No, yeah
15:38I don't think I can do this
15:39These people hate me
15:40Nah
15:40They just think they're supposed to
15:42Hey, you want to know what'll help?
15:44Klonopin?
15:46I was going to say being with me
15:47But maybe a little wine will suffice
15:49Wait, this is a developing story
15:52We've got an arm on her shoulder
15:53Holy shit
15:54She's a plus one
15:56Savvy
15:56Plus one for the most eligible bachelor
15:59In Westmont
16:00I think I have to hand it to her
16:03When did this happen?
16:04No
16:04The important question is
16:06How did none of us see this coming?
16:09Hmm
16:09Well, I can't just throw her out
16:12Seriously?
16:14It's Passover
16:18Hey
16:19Happy Passover
16:20Happy Passover
16:22Coop doesn't seem to mind
16:27Unbelievable
16:31Hey
16:31What's up, guys?
16:32There he is
16:33Oh, yeah
16:36Lisa
16:38How are you?
16:39Great to see you
16:40You're back
16:42Oh, Gordy grounded me for Passover
16:44Where were you?
16:45If you followed me, you'd know
16:47I don't have Instagram or TikTok
16:50Or whatever it is that I don't follow anybody
16:52Okay, well, then I'm going to find you later
16:53And make an account
16:54Please don't
16:56Thank you
16:57Hold the bag
16:58I got the bag, buddy
16:59Yeah, she was in Singapore
17:01Singapore
17:02Yeah, well, one of these days
17:03You'll have to explain her job
17:05She's a fashion and travel influencer
17:07Yeah
17:08And she gets paid for that?
17:10Fuck no
17:10She just gets tons of free clothes and trips
17:13And the more she's away, the better we get along
17:15So
17:15Win a win
17:17Yeah, listen, Coop
17:18Word on the street is
17:19You are shopping around a big chunk of change
17:21Don't get too excited
17:22It's not that sexy
17:23Really?
17:24Because I heard it's half a billion dollars
17:25Oh, that sounds pretty sexy to me
17:27Yes, it does
17:28You can't believe everything you hear
17:29Well, I can if you tell me about it
17:31Come on, Coop
17:32We've got a bunch of deals that would flirt your boat
17:34You know
17:34Have you tried one of these?
17:35They're called Drunken Pharaohs?
17:36Oh, yeah
17:37That's yours actually
17:37All right
17:38Fucking fire
17:39Cheers, cheers
17:40Great to see you, man
17:41Hey, hey, you too, buddy
17:43What's your name again?
17:45Brad
17:46Brad
17:46Hey, right, right
17:47Good to see you
17:48What's up, Ash?
17:48Hey, man, good to see you
17:49Oh, hey, Sam
17:52Hey
17:55We're going to get started, everyone
17:56If you could take your seats
17:57All right
17:58Coop, you're sitting with us
18:02Baruch atah Adonai
18:06Eloheinu melech olam
18:10Borei prihagafen
18:13Baruch atah Adonai
18:15Eloheinu melech olam
18:18Asher bachar banu mek olam
18:21Firom imanu mek olashon
18:24B'kitshanu bemitzvotav
18:27Vatiten lanu adama Eloheinu b'ahava
18:31We'll be friends again
18:33Not a chance
18:34Not a chance
18:34Chagim ismanim l'sazon
18:38Baruch atah Adonai
18:42Mikadesh Yisrael
18:48Vihazmanim
18:50Amen
18:55This is the bread of affliction
18:57Which our forefathers ate
18:59In the land of Egypt
19:01All who are hungry
19:02Let them come and eat
19:04All who are needy
19:05Let them come
19:07And celebrate the Passover with us
19:33I'm the second youngest
19:37I'm the second youngest
19:46The simple child asks
19:50What is this about?
20:00Uh-oh
20:02Why was tonight different from all other nights?
20:04Well, for starters, I was seated with the woman who framed me for murder
20:07And her new boyfriend, who was currently blackmailing me
20:10Not to mention my attorney, who I had blackmailed into representing me
20:13So while Gretchen told the story of the Israelites being liberated from Egypt
20:18I was thinking I could use a little liberating myself
20:30What is this about?
20:49These are the ten plagues which the Holy One, blessed be he, brought upon the Egyptians
20:55Blood
20:59So, Coop, give me an update
21:02Frogs
21:03What's taking so long?
21:05Lice
21:05I thought you'd be looking at term sheets by now
21:08Beasts
21:09It's a process
21:10These things take time
21:11Cattle disease
21:13You're trying to give them $400 million
21:14I think they would want to expedite that
21:17Boils
21:20Hail
21:20Do you trust me or not?
21:22Sure I do
21:24Locusts
21:24For now
21:27Darkness
21:33Death of the firstborn
21:36Hari wants to buy a boat and it's not that I'm against it
21:39He just isn't the greatest swimmer
21:41Who needs the hassle?
21:42I mean, especially on the east coast where you can only use it for two or three months anyway
21:46Well, the seasons are getting warmer
21:48Oh, okay
21:49Are they?
22:16Do you want to be in the body?
22:18No, no.
22:28Hey, you two.
22:31Oh, hey. Hi, Sam.
22:32Can I get one of those, please?
22:34Of course. Thanks.
22:39You look great.
22:40Thanks, Sam.
22:41Thanks, you too.
22:43Yeah.
22:48Oh, can I get another one?
22:49Okay.
22:51I'm sorry, it's just...
22:53I actually have a listing coming up.
22:55It's a $4 million teardown,
22:56and the owners are looking for an architect.
23:00Say more.
23:01It's a two-acre plot on Apple Court.
23:03They want a ground-up build,
23:04and they're asking for a recommendation.
23:07And you want to recommend me?
23:08I know how this looks, but I'm just trying to pass...
23:11It looks like a job offer.
23:15Well, fuck.
23:18And she accepts.
23:19Are they looking for an interior designer?
23:21Oh, no.
23:22Maggie wants to buy a Porsche.
23:23Oh, well.
23:24I do.
23:24That's a good goal.
23:25Oh, God.
23:26To business?
23:28To business.
23:29Bye, baby.
23:32Oh, my God!
23:33P-U-L-E.
23:35Pule.
23:36It's cheese that comes from donkey milk
23:38from a single farm in Serbia.
23:40It cost me 20 grand to get a quarter of a pound here.
23:42Mmm.
23:42I say we ditch the wives,
23:44take Harry's leftovers,
23:45and we do fancy cheese night tomorrow at my place.
23:48Ah, I can't.
23:50Gresh and I have a second Seder at our parents'.
23:53We'll be gone all night.
23:54Kids are coming in from college for it.
23:55It's a whole thing.
23:56You have to do this again.
23:58Yeah, except this time I have to answer
23:59vaguely racist questions from my mother.
24:04Yeah.
24:05I'm tied up, too.
24:07Damn.
24:07I'm sorry.
24:08You know how I love a good cheese.
24:25I guess we found the Alpha Coleman.
24:27What's that?
24:29Dessert?
24:30Dessert.
24:31It's been a while.
24:40Hey.
24:41Hey.
24:44Does she come to check?
24:49Thank you for making me a date.
24:52No problem.
24:54Oh.
24:56What do I do this?
24:57Okay.
25:02Get you.
25:05Fuck.
25:06Fuck.
25:10Fuck me.
25:23What's up, Mel?
25:25Oh, shit.
25:26You guys, I'm so tired.
25:30I know.
25:31I'm done.
25:32Me too.
25:34Is that where we have to go?
25:36Hey, it's all.
25:38It's fine.
25:39Hey, hi.
25:42You all right?
25:44I'm golden.
25:46Oh.
25:57Hey, I can't believe you.
26:02Hey, that's what they're doing.
26:12Hey, that's what's up.
26:18Hey, that's cool.
26:22Let's go here.
26:23Hey.
26:26Hey, this is what you're doing.
26:36I'm souped with me.
26:38You drank too much.
26:40You're supposed to have four glasses of wine.
26:43You had four glasses before dinner.
26:44It's enough.
26:46Dayenu.
26:48What?
26:50Dayenu.
26:50It means enough.
26:53It would have been enough.
26:56Geez, what are we sending you to Hebrew school for?
26:59Probably not for this.
27:02Okay, come on.
27:03You need to go home.
27:04Get up.
27:05Are you taking me home?
27:07I called you an Uber.
27:17Come on.
27:17Come on.
27:18Come on with me.
27:20No.
27:24No day.
27:25Oh, my God.
27:26Oh, my God.
27:30I'm good.
27:31I'm good.
27:34Okay.
27:35Shut up.
27:37Come on.
27:40Okay.
27:41This is fucking pathetic.
27:47Here for Tori.
27:58I have to get my shoes.
28:00I have to get my shoes.
28:48I have to get my shoes.
28:49I have to get my shoes.
28:53Really?
29:10Hello?
29:20Hey, who's fucking blue car is this?
30:06Hey, I ordered you a burger, I may have taken a bite.
30:12Uh, where's mom?
30:14She won't be joining.
30:16Everything's okay.
30:18Everything's okay.
30:20Okay.
30:20She just didn't want to come?
30:23Actually, I told her I had to run some errands after work.
30:26Which reminds me I can't come home without a box of cereal.
30:29Mmm.
30:29Okay.
30:32I love her.
30:33She can just make it hard to connect with my kids.
30:36I just wanted to have a quiet dinner and catch up with you guys.
30:40Please, I get it.
30:41Preacher.
30:42Fire.
30:45So, how's teaching going?
30:46It's going great.
30:48And by great I mean, I don't know, actually.
30:52Is it still considered a success if no one actually learns anything?
30:55Come on.
30:56Just start it.
30:58You're teaching music.
30:59That's not like teaching science.
31:01Teaching art is essentially teaching something that can't be taught.
31:03Oh, well, then they came to the right place.
31:06And what about you, Andy?
31:08I hear you two have a new roommate.
31:12That's my cue.
31:13Wow.
31:14How convenient.
31:21Hey, everyone.
31:22How's it going?
31:23We're back.
31:25I am Ali.
31:27It's so good to see you, everyone.
31:28I have a very special guest here tonight.
31:32It's my dad.
31:33Just give it up for my dad, everyone.
31:36Aw.
31:36Who are you?
31:38He's awesome.
31:41Anyway, this is a song he used to sing me whenever I had a bad day.
31:45This one's for you, Deb.
31:49Oh, oh.
31:54Comes a time when you're drifting.
32:02Comes a time when you settle down.
32:08Comes a light, feelings lifting.
32:16Lift that baby up off the ground.
32:21But oh, oh, this old world keeps spinning round.
32:32It's the one that tall trees ain't laying down.
32:39Comes a time.
32:42Well, you look at that.
32:44She really is doing better, isn't she?
32:47Yeah.
32:48That makes one of us.
32:51This whole Tory thing just came completely out of left field.
32:54I mean, looking back, trying to think if there were any signs at all.
32:57And if there were, Jesus, there were awful goddamn subtle.
33:02How are you handling it?
33:03I'm stepping back.
33:06Like you suggested.
33:07Giving her her space to mess up and standing by to pick up the pieces.
33:14Well, that inevitably happens, so.
33:17And what about you?
33:18What about me?
33:20Well, she has her parents to worry about her.
33:23I'm worried about my kids.
33:25How is everything?
33:26You dating?
33:27Yeah, you know, you're in there.
33:29Nothing serious.
33:30You may only get serious.
33:31You're not getting any younger, you know.
33:33Yeah, well, my back certainly knows.
33:36And work?
33:39Yeah, I'm still trying to figure that out.
33:43You know what?
33:44I should get attacked when I have to leave after the next one.
33:46For what?
33:49See this?
33:53It's me.
33:55Stepping back.
34:02Let me know when you're in.
34:09Okay.
34:11I'm in.
34:12So fast?
34:13Yeah.
34:14Well, I was here last night.
34:15I rang the door.
34:16Nice.
34:17Anyway, so my dad says I should give Tori some space.
34:20And Mel says exactly the opposite.
34:22Listen, teenage girls, they're always in some kind of crisis.
34:27You should have seen me at 18.
34:31I don't know.
34:31I liked 18.
34:33I already had a sense of purpose.
34:35Oh, yeah.
34:36Every 18-year-old boy has a sense of purpose.
34:39In his pants.
34:41You're a very cynical person, you know that?
34:43Tell me something I don't know.
34:50No, I can't imagine.
35:01Thanks.
35:05I'll talk to all the people.
35:06I won't know.
35:07That's all right.
35:11I'll take you back.
35:11And this will make you for a long time, why?
35:11You will not need me.
35:11You will not need to go.
35:11It's time for me to go.
35:14You're scratching it hard, you're running a little off-the-book side hustle.
35:20Pills?
35:21Better.
35:22How's that picking fillers?
35:25That's like liquid gold, you should grab some of those too.
35:28No, it's small potatoes.
35:31And now notice, we should stick to the plan.
36:04I think I found it.
36:06When Hari Sani wasn't running Gretchen's surgery practice,
36:09or attending another Seder with her family like he was tonight,
36:11he was tearing through pricey avocations like airport paperbacks.
36:15This graveyard of forgotten hobbies included a $10,000 set of Zeiss 20x60s binoculars
36:21for big game hunting,
36:24a $50,000 Phase 1 XF IQ4 150-megapixel camera,
36:32a $25,000 Baccarat chess game with crystal pawns and inlaid marble board,
36:37and most notably, a $200,000 reproduction of a violin designed by Stradivarius contemporary Guarneri del Gesù,
36:46which I haven't found yet.
36:54Dang it.
37:00Hello? How's it going in there?
37:04Can you hold on a second? I gotta take this call.
37:07Who the hell takes a call in the middle of a robbery?
37:10Uh, hey, I'm a little busy right now. Can I call you back?
37:13What the fuck are you doing with my money, huh?
37:16It's been over two weeks. What the fuck? Are you trying to fuck me?
37:20It's not a great time for me right now.
37:21No, no, no, no, no, no. Don't do that shit. I own your ass, motherfucker.
37:25We're fine. I told you. It's gonna take some time.
37:28Coop?
37:30Hello?
37:30Why don't you calm down? Let me come by tomorrow. I will lay it all out for you.
37:35Don't fucking talk to me like I'm some goddamn idiot.
37:38Get your ass over here now.
37:40I can't do that.
37:41No? Well, that's too bad because if you're not here in 15 minutes,
37:45I press send and your whole life is fucked!
37:48No, don't do that.
37:4915 minutes.
38:02Hey, uh, we're gonna have to abort.
38:05What? No. No, no, no. Why?
38:08Uh, family situation.
38:10This is our way to describe something else.
38:12No, that's not how we work.
38:13This isn't how we work. Listen to me.
38:20What the fuck?
38:22I wanna rock, rock!
38:26I wanna rock, rock!
38:30I wanna do more, rock!
38:35I wanna rock, rock!
38:42Ash?
38:56Ash?
39:08Ash?
39:28Who?
39:30What are you doing here?
39:31Are you fucking kidding me?
39:33Yeah.
39:36Jesus Christ, really?
39:37Sorry, man. I get a little...
39:38...
39:38...
39:39...
39:39...
39:40Drink?
39:40No, thank you.
39:41I'm gonna pour you one anyway.
39:44So, in all seriousness, what are you doing with my money?
39:49Because I gotta be honest, I'm starting to feel like you're jerking me around a little bit.
39:52No one's jerking you around.
39:54Have you even approached Bailey Russell?
39:56No.
39:57Why the fuck not?
39:58Are you trying to fuck with Jack Bailey on my dime?
40:00No. Look, Ash, you know how to do your job, I know how to do mine, right?
40:04You asked me to get you into the Excelsior Fund, which is difficult to do under the best of circumstances.
40:09They're very exclusive, all right?
40:10Mm-hmm.
40:11Now, I call Jack, he'll just tell me to go fuck myself.
40:13That's if he even picks up my call.
40:15You're not really selling yourself here, Kooky.
40:17We have to make him come to us, right?
40:20The way you do that is by making him feel like he's missing out on something.
40:23Once he feels that way, then he'll swallow his pride, he'll pick up the phone.
40:26How do you know he'll call?
40:27Because he already has.
40:29Twice.
40:31Okay.
40:32What did he say?
40:34I have no idea.
40:35I didn't pick up.
40:39Remind me not to fuck with you.
40:41You already are fucking with me, Ash.
40:42True.
40:43Jesus, you are a fucking ninja.
40:45Let's do a line, brother.
40:47Is that mandatory?
40:48It is.
40:51And the night took a turn.
41:02Mmm.
41:23Hey!
41:25Yo!
41:26School.
41:27Fifteen minutes.
41:28What are you doing?
41:29Bed rotting.
41:30I'm sorry?
41:31Bed rotting.
41:32It's called self-care, Kat.
41:35It's just one day.
41:46Hey.
41:48I don't know what the fuck is going on with you, but if you're in my house, you're going to
41:52school.
41:52You got me?
41:53I can't make you go to college, but you're not going to fuck up high school on my watch.
41:57Get up.
41:57Let's go.
41:58Come on.
41:59Up and at it.
42:00Sorry about the blanket thing.
42:01That was aggressive.
42:03Come on.
42:04Let's go.
42:06She doesn't say anything.
42:08She's just mute.
42:09And then when I so much as speak, she acts like it's nails on a chalkboard.
42:15Why do we have kids?
42:17Think of the fun we could be having.
42:24I'm pregnant.
42:27What?
42:29Are you serious?
42:31Yeah.
42:31Oh, my God.
42:34Forget everything I just said.
42:36That's incredible.
42:38Yeah, it is.
42:40Except my mother is trying to insert herself into my life even more than she normally does.
42:46She doesn't trust me to manage my own pregnancy, and it's driving me up the fucking wall.
42:49She's still on the platform.
42:50Yeah, like Tori told you.
42:52Wow, shots fired.
42:54Sorry.
42:55Hormones.
42:56She thinks I'm too old, which she tells me every chance she gets, and now I'm in my head about
43:00it.
43:01She's not wrong.
43:02Come on.
43:03You made two beautiful children.
43:05Look at you.
43:05You are blooming.
43:09While the rest of us are withering away.
43:12Oh, but a dried rose is still a rose.
43:16Okay, Lily, let's practice your postings.
43:20So...
43:20Good job.
43:22Gretchen Sater.
43:23Oh, for God's sake.
43:24What did you hear?
43:25That you had some sort of meltdown because Sam showed up?
43:30I was over-served.
43:32What?
43:32What?
43:33I'm gonna give you some straight talk, because I love you.
43:37Here we go.
43:37Yeah.
43:38Okay, look.
43:39What Sam did was super fucked up.
43:41Literally criminal.
43:43This is correct.
43:44But people want to move on.
43:47And if you keep making things awkward for everyone-
43:51Are you kidding?
43:51I didn't say it was fair.
43:53She was gonna put Coop in prison for years.
43:55Yeah, so shouldn't Coop be the one hating on her?
43:58He's the father of my children.
43:59Right.
44:00And is that all he is to you?
44:02Hmm?
44:05Is this really a skill she's gonna need?
44:07I mean, what are you buying a ranch in Montana?
44:09Well, this isn't Western.
44:10It's dressage.
44:11I-I don't know what that means.
44:13It means I'm an idiot.
44:16Fuck.
44:22Oh!
44:23Fuck!
44:26Oh!
44:27Fuck!
44:34You good?
44:35Yeah, I'm great.
44:36Yeah?
44:37Tell me about this.
44:40Uh, yes.
44:41Those.
44:42Ha.
44:43Those.
44:45Are two bullets.
44:46They were each, at various times,
44:48inside my body.
44:51Uh, this one is right here.
44:54And this guy was in my shoulder.
44:57See?
45:03You were shot.
45:04Uh-huh.
45:05Twice.
45:05Yes.
45:07And I had this maid by an artist that I know, Belgian guy, as a reminder.
45:15That life is fragile?
45:16That no one could kill me.
45:20But also, what you said, I like that, the fragile thing.
45:26Hey, I got something for you.
45:39What do you think?
45:41It's a drone?
45:43Yeah!
45:44You got me a drone?
45:45No.
45:46I didn't get you the drone.
45:48It's for Henry and Michael.
45:50Look.
45:51Dual 4K cameras.
45:52Okay?
45:53Signal range of 2,000 feet, so you can send this baby up to the stars.
45:57Just gotta keep it away from airports, because it may or may not be military-grade.
46:03Okay.
46:05Well, that's not the response I was hoping for.
46:07I'm sorry.
46:07It's very kind of you.
46:10And look, I like you.
46:11I really do.
46:12But my kids have been through a lot.
46:14You know, so have I.
46:15I mean, my God, I have a mugshot.
46:17And they lost their father, and, you know, sure, he was a misogynistic asshole.
46:22But, you know, they don't know that.
46:23They'll never know that.
46:25Which kind of sucks, now that I think about it, because, you know, they'll be missing a much better guy
46:30than he was.
46:30Sorry.
46:32Uh, my point is...
46:33It's too soon.
46:33Yes.
46:34Way too soon.
46:35Sorry.
46:36That's okay.
46:39Really?
46:39Yeah, absolutely.
46:41Believe it or not, you're not the first person that I've spooked.
46:44No, I'm not spooked.
46:46Well, I mean, I don't know.
46:48I just...
46:48I've just always wanted a boy.
46:50And my wife and I were trying for one when she got sick.
46:54Oh.
46:55I'm sorry.
46:56Hey.
46:58Let's go in the yard.
47:00Send this bad boy up as high as we can.
47:01Come on.
47:02You and me.
47:02Is that really how you want to spend the next half hour?
47:07Because I can get some clothes on right now.
47:09Yeah, I'll get dressed.
47:11No, no.
47:11No, no, no, no, no, no.
47:13Don't move anywhere.
47:23yeah no i know well i get it but i just need to compare the redemption schedules can you put
47:28them all in one sheet for me yes maddie i'm aware we're still dating but uh you are in
47:35the sweet spot hey i gotta go can you give me that sheet i'll keep you posted
47:43thank you bye wow this is a surprise i doubt that
47:50huh nice to see you i doubt that too okay you know having this accent doesn't make you smarter than
47:56me no it's my brain that does that i can't stay you know why i'm here yeah most likely because
48:03jack thinks i can't say no to you oh there is precedent it's this witty banter that got us
48:07in trouble in the first place and the accent yeah that too we should do that again sometime
48:13because it worked out so well for you the last time it was worth it have a seat you can't
48:18be serious
48:19you're standing between two chairs i meant about it being worth it you can't mean that well don't
48:24sound you're so sure i still feel responsible for what happened well you shouldn't in fact i'm
48:32kind of glad it happened you know i needed to get out i didn't realize it at the time but
48:36uh i'm
48:37much happier now as is evidenced by the fact you're getting back into the game on my own terms
48:41really that money belongs to someone sure does and that someone won't fuck me the way jack did
48:48why are you still there oh they gave me a desk which you didn't earn
48:53just being honest if we're being honest why don't you admit you're going to meet with jack
48:57why would i want to work with that piece of shit because you can't kill him so you might as
49:02well
49:02own him and what's your end i'm just the messenger oh really you're not concerned at all about the
49:07optics you bringing me in given our sordid past sadly that ship has sailed and if i cared about the
49:16optics i would have quit a long time ago sorry about that no your fault i was on fire that
49:22night
49:23you didn't stand a chance well i suppose tell jack i'll think about it i'll be thrilled
49:35i'll be thrilled
50:04i'll be thrilled
50:12Let's go.
50:38Oh, my name, you're here again.
50:42Oh, look who finally saw fit to come home.
50:46What are you, uh, what are you doing here?
50:49It's almost midnight.
50:50I'm staying over.
50:51I will be for some time.
50:54Grace needs someone to care for her
50:56while her husband is out drinking.
50:59Okay.
51:12First of all, I wasn't out drinking.
51:15I was servicing a client.
51:17Well, drinking.
51:18And as for you moving in, that's not going to happen.
51:20Grace is a grown-ass woman,
51:22and if she can handle me and you,
51:24she can handle her own fucking pregnancy.
51:26Yes, that's right.
51:27I said fuck.
51:29And you should hear it.
51:30We're all off of Grace's tongue when you're not around.
51:32It's a thing of fucking beauty, actually.
51:34You're going to let him talk to me like this?
51:36Last time I checked, this was my house,
51:38and I will speak freely in my house.
51:41So, please, call your driver
51:43and let him know that you're ready to go home.
51:45And moving forward, you're welcome to visit,
51:47but it would be a great idea if you called ahead
51:49and made sure we were up for company
51:51because, and I hope you don't take this the wrong way,
51:55you're a handful.
52:12Too much?
52:14Take me to bed
52:15right fucking now.
52:25Come on, Goop.
52:27It's not like I have to sell you on the place.
52:28Our mid-cap is crushing it.
52:30Yes, you and I had our issues,
52:32but business is business.
52:33We'll take care of you.
52:35I will take care of you.
52:36And we all know you're a man of your word, Jack.
52:38I think we both did things
52:39and he did the moment we regret.
52:41Yeah, no, not really.
52:43Okay, you want me to throw a man of coal in the deal?
52:45You got it.
52:46I want to invest in the Excelsior fund.
52:51That's not gonna happen.
52:52Maybe later, but not now.
52:54It's your fund.
52:55Yeah, and I've got investors in it
52:56with bigger cocks than yours.
52:58You asked for this meeting.
52:59Yeah, and you know how my funds perform.
53:02Look, we'll roll out the red carpet for you.
53:04We'll waive fees, throw in perks.
53:06But Excelsior is not an option.
53:09Okay, can we just skip the part
53:10where I call your bluff
53:11and then you tell me to go fuck myself
53:12and then you have to chase me
53:13all the way down into the lobby?
53:15I'm not bluffing.
53:17Okay, great.
53:18See you downstairs.
53:22Fuck.
53:25Yeah.
53:32Jack took away everything I had
53:34and having this power over him
53:36should have been intensely satisfying.
53:38But beating him today
53:39just meant putting myself
53:40in even more legal jeopardy
53:41while making two assholes
53:43richer than they already were.
53:44Who?
53:47Asshole number two.
53:48Bring it in?
53:50We're in.
53:52Yes!
53:52Yes!
53:53Come on, I got some wet in the car.
53:55Chilled.
53:55Let's party.
53:56Let's go.
53:56Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
53:58What about the video?
54:00What about it?
54:03I held up my end.
54:04Oh, come on, Coop.
54:06I can tell you I deleted it.
54:07In this day and age,
54:08is anything ever really gone?
54:10What are you saying?
54:11Oh, my God.
54:12Look at your face.
54:13You're so serious.
54:14Come on, relax.
54:15You're managing $400 million of my money.
54:17As long as things keep going well,
54:18then you got nothing to worry about.
54:20Come on, let's celebrate.
54:23Come on, hop in.
54:27Asshole number three.
54:29No matter what I did,
54:30it seemed I was destined to learn
54:32one immutable truth over and over again,
54:34and that was that as easy as it was
54:36to sell your soul,
54:38it was next to impossible to buy it back.
54:44Ay, oh, let's go.
54:47Ay, oh, let's go.
54:50Ay, oh, let's go.
54:52Ay, oh, let's go.
54:55The positive change, John.
54:57You're going through a time, John.
55:00You get nothing to never mind.
55:02Let's get going.
55:08Oh, let's go.
55:15Oh, let's go.
55:16And you're going through a time, John.
55:21All right.
55:23Bye.
55:23Bye.
55:25Bye.
55:25Bye.
55:25Bye.
55:26Bye.
55:26Bye.
55:26Bye.
55:29Bye.
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