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Adults.2025.S01E08 [Full Movie] [Hot 2026]Full EP - Full
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00:00Transcrição e Legendas por QTSS
00:30O que é isso?
00:35O que é isso?
00:35O que é isso?
00:36O que é isso?
00:48O que é isso?
00:50O que é isso?
00:51O que é isso?
00:53O que é isso?
01:23O que é isso?
01:26O que é isso?
01:27O que é isso?
01:28O que é isso?
01:30O que é isso?
01:33O que é isso?
01:34O que é isso?
01:35O que é isso?
01:44O que é isso?
01:51O que é isso?
01:51O que é isso?
02:05O que é isso?
02:07O que é isso?
02:10O que é isso?
02:22O que é isso?
02:22O que é isso?
02:25O que é isso?
02:32O que é isso?
02:34O que é isso?
02:42O que é isso?
02:43O que é isso?
02:45O que é isso?
02:45O que é isso?
03:12O que é isso?
03:22É isso?
03:31O que é isso?
03:40O que é isso?
03:43O que é isso?
03:44É isso?
03:45Oh, meu Deus, você está chegando!
03:47Você está ficando marido!
03:49Eu sei!
03:50Você está ficando marido.
03:51Eu sei.
03:51Você tem que ficar para o ambos agora.
03:55Eu vou falar com o advogado.
03:56Ok.
03:57Ok.
04:00Então, vocês vão falar com o Zac Carlos?
04:03Oh, shit.
04:04Oh, meu Deus.
04:05Zac Carlos?
04:06Por que esse nome não é familiar?
04:11Zac Carlos.
04:12Oi, Zac Carlos.
04:14Então, vamos precisar de você para divorciar Issa.
04:22Obrigado por fazer isso.
04:23Duh.
04:24Paul Baker, estamos se casando.
04:26Isso significa algo para você.
04:27Eu estou te dando a toda a experiência de casamento.
04:29Oh, meu Deus.
04:30Além disso, religião tem sido muito importante para mim
04:32desde que eu percebi que eu estava apenas falando.
04:34Olá.
04:35Oi.
04:36Oi.
04:36Oi.
04:37Oi.
04:38Não, não, não, não.
04:38Isso é uma coisa que você fez.
04:40Obrigado por ter com você no such short notice.
04:42Claro.
04:42Of course.
04:43As you know, it is a miracle to be married under the eyes of God.
04:47Oh, those eyes.
04:48Nothing to see here, God.
04:50Just a totally normal marriage.
04:51But we are on a very tight timeline
04:53because both of our moms are dying.
04:55No.
04:56Hmm?
04:57Mm-mm.
04:57Shut up.
04:58Shh.
04:58No, ease.
04:59No, that's not true.
05:00So sad.
05:00Father, we're getting married so that I can stay in the country.
05:02Paul Baker!
05:03What?
05:04But be honest with him.
05:05He's a priest.
05:05I was an altar boy.
05:07Oh, my God.
05:07Are you okay?
05:09What?
05:09What?
05:10No, no, no.
05:10I appreciate the honesty.
05:12It's the bedrock of any marriage.
05:14I always say that.
05:15I agree.
05:16Mm-hmm.
05:16Now, and I think we should be honest.
05:20Be honest, yeah.
05:21No more secrets.
05:23Good.
05:23Now, have you consummated the marriage yet?
05:26No.
05:26No, never.
05:27Asa.
05:28Never once.
05:29Asa.
05:29Well, really, where is the question, because we have consummated it in my mouth, but very
05:33rarely in my bottom two.
05:35Asa.
05:37The bottom two.
05:39Mm-hmm.
05:39So, are you living chastely?
05:41Yes, super chastely.
05:43Chasty, chasty, chaste the rainbow.
05:45No, that's what's going on with you.
05:47No, that's not true, Father.
05:49We have sex all the time.
05:51Well, that is true.
05:52Thank you.
05:53To conceive.
05:54No.
05:55Yes, we are trying to start a family.
05:59In my mouth.
06:01Jesus Christ.
06:03Paul Baker.
06:03Oh, sorry.
06:05Now he's never going to do it.
06:06Oh, no, no.
06:07It was the other stuff.
06:09That's why I won't do it.
06:10Oh, God damn it.
06:12Get a signature.
06:13See what you're doing?
06:14Get out.
06:14No small talk.
06:15No.
06:16I don't want to reminisce.
06:17Why would we do that?
06:18Whoa.
06:19Missed you guys.
06:21Aw, missed you.
06:22You know, I almost forgot that Issa and I were even married.
06:25I know.
06:25I think we all tried to.
06:27In our defense, though, spring break, we were on one.
06:31Like, wink, wink.
06:35I can only do it with my hands.
06:37Mm-hmm.
06:38I remember right.
06:38And Issa was all like, marriage is a construct.
06:41Yeah.
06:41She says that stuff.
06:43Mm-hmm.
06:43But the thing is, is now she's getting married to, like, her actual boyfriend, right?
06:49Yes, yes.
06:50And he's dealing with this whole visa thing.
06:51Yeah.
06:52And he's going to have to move out.
06:53And he's going to have to move out to Ann.
06:54Oh.
06:55Sorry.
06:56Um, is he living with you guys?
06:59Mm-hmm.
07:00Well, that's interesting.
07:01Because I remember when I asked to move in, you said that it was capped at four.
07:07Did I say that?
07:08It's such a long time ago.
07:10But now, uh, it's two, three, Billy's four, oh, no, I know, five, yeah, okay.
07:19I guess there's room for five now.
07:22Yep.
07:23That's how counting works.
07:25Yeah.
07:25So, here's the deal.
07:27Um, it doesn't really matter where he's living, right?
07:29What matters is that you sign these divorce papers.
07:32It was funny, but now let's just end it.
07:37You know, I'm gonna have to think about it.
07:41What?
07:41Just because, ugh, I've got a lot going on right now.
07:44You know, I'm currently living with Beth.
07:47Do you remember Beth from move in?
07:50Yeah, isn't she your...
07:51Mother, in a way, yeah.
07:54But we're about to part as friends.
07:56So, like, I can't even, like, think about any of this right now until I figure out where I'm living.
08:03Mm, like, ah, what do we do?
08:07Okay.
08:08What do we do?
08:12Woo!
08:14Oh!
08:15There you go.
08:16Holy shit.
08:18Woo!
08:19You are incredible.
08:20And that's what I learned from the hospital's trailer.
08:23Very nice, she's.
08:24Thank you.
08:25Does this make up for the priest thing?
08:26It really does, babe.
08:27Yay!
08:28Thank you.
08:28Wait, is Billy still flirting with that couple?
08:30Don't look, but look.
08:32Oh, my God.
08:33I remember when my first friend got engaged.
08:35Really?
08:35Me too.
08:36Yeah.
08:37Oh, it was bad.
08:38I plucked out every single one of my eyebrows.
08:40I looked like a ping pong ball.
08:42I'm really happy for you.
08:44Oh, my God.
08:45It's funny, but it was honestly scary.
08:47Yeah, it was bad.
08:48I'm so proud I could cry.
08:50So, what did you boys get up to today?
08:52Oh, yeah.
08:52What did you boys get up to today?
08:55Oh, um...
08:56We made soup.
08:59Fun!
08:59Soup with help me?
09:00What kind?
09:03Minestrone.
09:05Oh, you guys are being weird.
09:07No.
09:07Are you, like, hiding something, or what?
09:11We burnt the soup.
09:13Let's stay.
09:14Um, Paul Baker, I need to get to sit down.
09:16Can you guys go stand in Billy's eyeline in case that couple gets weird in human traffic?
09:19Yeah, of course.
09:20Thank you.
09:20You guys are such good allies, not you.
09:23Um, what did Zach Carlos say?
09:24So, yeah, it's not looking good.
09:26He won't sign the papers.
09:27What?
09:27Yeah, and he's trying to, like, move in with us now.
09:29Can you just please be honest with Paul Baker?
09:32No, no.
09:33Absolutely not.
09:34If I tell him I've been married this whole time, he will move back to Canada.
09:37Issa, he's not going to move back to Canada if you're just honest with him.
09:40Oh, no, no, he loves honesty.
09:41He's obsessed with it, which is why we have to lie.
09:44I'm telling you, I know him.
09:45Okay, okay, okay, okay.
09:47I'll talk to Zach Carlos tomorrow.
09:49Thank you.
09:50You're a good man.
09:51Now get on that table and make it bounce for Mama.
09:54Make what bounce?
09:56No.
09:57It's on the house.
10:00Wow.
10:02He's cute.
10:03No.
10:04No?
10:04No.
10:05Anton, you don't want to make that dry martini a little dirty?
10:09Huh?
10:10Honestly, I probably should.
10:11It's getting really bad.
10:12The dry spell?
10:13Yeah.
10:14The other day, I almost bit a mannequin at Bloomingdale's.
10:16Fuck off.
10:17Yeah.
10:17Where?
10:18Oh, in the lump.
10:19Ew.
10:20But, yeah, weirdly, I'm, like, not spiraling.
10:22Yay.
10:23My friends are where they're supposed to be.
10:24I'm where I'm supposed to be.
10:27And where is that?
10:30Oh, um, I don't know.
10:33Just at a bar with a really hot couple who I think is open, or I'm totally misreading the vibe.
10:41Um, okay, she's hot.
10:43Yes.
10:44She's fucking hot.
10:45Oh, this rules.
10:45She's so hot.
10:46How are you, though?
10:48Marriage-wise?
10:49Awesome.
10:50Yeah.
10:50Cool.
10:51I mean, sure.
10:52I always pictured my wedding a certain way.
10:55And what's that?
10:57Outdoor venue, private vows, glow sticks at the after party.
11:00Got it.
11:00Glow sticks.
11:01Needed, always.
11:02Yeah.
11:03But, I mean, this is great, too.
11:06This is awesome.
11:06Like, it is so sweet.
11:08What he's doing, marrying me.
11:10What all you guys are doing to keep me here.
11:13But, mind wipe?
11:16Yeah, of course.
11:19I, um...
11:21You're not ready to get married, but you want to stay in the house, and you really don't want to
11:25disappoint us.
11:32You know what?
11:33I think I'm gonna, um, get one of those free martinis.
11:36Yeah, definitely.
11:37Hi.
11:37I would like another, because this has spilled.
11:40You got it.
11:41Okay, I have to go to the bathroom.
11:43Just pee.
11:44You guys can hold hands, but no first kiss until I get back.
11:48Promise.
11:48Promise.
11:49All right.
11:50Oh, my God, you guys are cute!
11:52Um, so, you're an orthopedist.
11:56I don't want this.
11:57Hmm?
11:58I don't, and I don't want this.
12:00It's just, my wife, she wanted to open the marriage.
12:03She wanted to go out, and she wanted to explore.
12:05But I wanted to have kids by now.
12:07I'm sorry, what?
12:08But no, my wife, she wants to go around town.
12:10She wants to fuck young sluts together.
12:13I can't keep having this amount of sex with random people.
12:19I mean, you're incredible, and I'm not even attracted to you at all.
12:22And I mean, look at you.
12:23You're so...
12:27Pretty?
12:27Gen Z.
12:28Oh, okay.
12:29Yeah, I love Gen Z, and...
12:31Yeah.
12:34You know what, Brian?
12:35You know what?
12:36No.
12:36No, actually.
12:37No.
12:37Because, hey, look at me.
12:39Look me in the eye.
12:40I have had a very tough year.
12:41It sounds like maybe you have, too.
12:43But guess what?
12:43Tonight's not about you, Brian.
12:46Okay?
12:46Not about your wife.
12:48There are three of us here, and only one of us shaved their asshole for this.
12:51Was it you, Brian?
12:53Was it you, Brian?
12:54No.
12:55So here's what's gonna happen.
12:56Okay, your wife's gonna come back, and then you're gonna man up, and you're gonna fuck me,
13:01then your wife, in that order.
13:03Because I get UTIs like a grandmother, Brian.
13:04Do you understand me?
13:05Yeah.
13:06Yeah?
13:06Yeah.
13:07Great.
13:07That sounds awesome.
13:09Hi, sweetie.
13:10Hey, remember me?
13:13Welcome back.
13:14Okay, what were you talking about?
13:16Just, we were, what did you say?
13:18What'd you say?
13:19Hey, hey, don't forget to do that thing I taught you.
13:23Ooh.
13:25What, uh, what thing did she teach you?
13:28It's just anal.
13:30We're doing anal tonight.
13:38Stop!
13:39Stop!
13:40You guys!
13:41And then what happened?
13:42So, Carlos, we told you this already.
13:44It turns out it was a bayside stabber, and he was on our couch, and then the police came,
13:48and it was a whole ordeal.
13:49Yeah.
13:50You guys are crazy.
13:52The antics.
13:54Huh.
13:55You know what?
13:57I have decided.
13:58Yeah?
13:59Great.
14:00Great.
14:00So you can sign right here.
14:01Thank you so much.
14:02I will move in.
14:05Ah!
14:07Oh, bro, no, no.
14:10Zach Carlos, you're not, no, you're not moving in, okay?
14:13I'm just gonna be straight up with you.
14:14All right.
14:14Classic Samir.
14:15No, no.
14:17I'm being serious, okay?
14:18You are not moving in.
14:20And it's not because there's no room.
14:22It was never about that.
14:23It's because you're so crazy, okay?
14:25And, and where's Beth?
14:27Where's your mom?
14:28Is she alive?
14:29I don't want to go back and forth with you.
14:31Can you just sign the divorce papers?
14:34No!
14:39Why?
14:40Because you guys left me.
14:41We used to hang out all of the time.
14:44Then after college, you replaced me with Billy.
14:48Oh.
14:49And now with Paul Baker.
14:53Bisexual queer.
14:54Proud.
14:55Wait, how do you know that?
14:57Instagram story, bitch.
14:59While we're doing it, let's just call him like he is.
15:02He's an illegal alien.
15:04Oh, okay.
15:04You can't say that, Zach Carlos.
15:06He's an alien.
15:07No.
15:07What?
15:08Zach Carlos, no.
15:09No.
15:09Yep.
15:10Hey.
15:10Yep.
15:10Do not.
15:10He's an illegal alien who is sleeping with my wife.
15:14So no.
15:15I'm not divorcing Issa.
15:16Because that's how I'm involved.
15:22Okay.
15:24Okay.
15:24Okay.
15:25Okay.
15:25You're right.
15:26You're right, Zach Carlos.
15:27He's right.
15:28He's right, Samir.
15:29He's right.
15:31Ugh.
15:32It's just a shame, though, because you would have really hit it off with Paul Baker.
15:35He loves meeting new people.
15:36What are you doing?
15:37He's kind.
15:38He's a great listener.
15:40He's like funny over text.
15:42You know those people that are like funny over text, Samir?
15:45You know those people?
15:45Hmm?
15:47Hmm.
15:47He's funny over text.
15:48So funny.
15:50I'm funny over text.
15:52Yes.
15:53Yes.
15:54Yes.
15:54Wait.
15:54You were funny over text, too.
15:56They would have such good bits.
15:57Right?
15:58What a coulda shoulda.
15:59CC'd.
16:00Yep.
16:02Too bad he's going back to Canada.
16:04Bye, Zach Carlos.
16:06Wait.
16:07Mm-hmm.
16:08Does he watch The Masked Singer?
16:12Yeah.
16:14Could he explain it to me?
16:18Of course.
16:19Of course.
16:23Yay.
16:24Congratulations.
16:25All right.
16:26You love it.
16:27Aw.
16:27You're doing a really good thing.
16:29Thanks.
16:30I know.
16:31Ugh.
16:32Oh, wait.
16:33How was that date with that couple last night?
16:34It was actually really good.
16:36Oh, really?
16:37Yeah.
16:38Wow.
16:40You have VTI?
16:41My vagina is on fire.
16:42Ah!
16:42Look at you, you little asshopper.
16:44Threesomes.
16:44Itchy vaginas.
16:45You're like doing it.
16:47I know.
16:48And meanwhile, you're the responsible one about to get married.
16:51I know.
16:51Next thing you know, you're going to stop flushing your tampons down the toilet.
16:53I know.
16:54It's like you're the Billy and I'm the Issa.
16:56Oh, God.
16:59Yeah.
17:00Yeah.
17:00That's true.
17:02Wow.
17:03Hi.
17:03Hi.
17:04Hi.
17:04Issa, you look so beautiful.
17:06Thanks.
17:07It's vintage Samir's mom in that it is her wedding dress.
17:10Aw.
17:10Excuse me?
17:11Mm-hmm.
17:11Issa, we got those papers signed.
17:12Yeah.
17:13We handled it.
17:14Good.
17:14Great.
17:15Super great.
17:16Oh, shh, shh, shh.
17:17Okay.
17:17Hey.
17:18Okay.
17:18I know I'm not supposed to see you yet, my beautiful bride.
17:21Are you ready, Issa?
17:22Yes.
17:23Super ready.
17:23Super.
17:24She's ready.
17:25Let's go.
17:27Let's go.
17:27Yes.
17:29Yes.
17:30Come on, Carly.
17:32Carly, I am stealing you from Samir.
17:34You're tiny.
17:37I hope it's a UTI.
17:51Hello.
17:54Oh, take me in.
17:56What?
17:56Take me in.
17:58Take me in.
18:02You should have me.
18:04And, okay, I will see you in there.
18:07Wait, wait, wait, please, please, please, please.
18:08What?
18:10I can't do this.
18:12Oh, my God, Issa.
18:14I can't.
18:15I'm not supposed to get married at 24.
18:17If anything, I'm supposed to get married at 60 to a 24-year-old.
18:20Issa, but remember, remember, you've been married before.
18:23As a bitch.
18:25This isn't a bitch.
18:26I live with this guy.
18:33Hey, Zory, who is this guy?
18:36It's Zach Carlos.
18:37He's your best man.
18:40Okay.
18:43He's gonna get deported.
18:44Oh, Baker, he's gonna get deported.
18:45This is horrible.
18:46Do you know how many marches I've been to for that?
18:48He's not gonna get deported, okay?
18:50Oh, my God, I'm gonna throw up.
18:51No, no, no, no.
18:52I'm gonna throw up.
18:52I'm gonna ralph.
18:52Issa, don't ralph.
18:53Oh, God.
18:53I'm gonna ralph on Samir's mom's dress.
18:55Don't throw up.
18:56I'm gonna throw up.
18:56Oh, God.
18:57If you puke, it'll make me puke.
18:59Oh, God.
19:00Don't.
19:05Oh, my God.
19:15I'm a bad person.
19:16I'm a bad person.
19:17Hey, look at me.
19:18Stop crying.
19:19Oh, God.
19:20It's okay.
19:20What do we do?
19:21We are gonna figure this out.
19:24How?
19:34What the fuck?
19:37What the fuck?
19:46Jesus Christ.
19:48Okay.
19:48That's not the bride.
19:51Billy, what's happening?
19:53Issa is really, really sorry, but she can't actually marry you right now.
19:56Oh.
19:58Totally.
19:58Yeah.
19:59Okay, but it's gonna be okay, because we're not gonna lose you, because I am gonna marry
20:04you.
20:05Billy, what?
20:05Billy.
20:06No.
20:06That's crazy.
20:07Who cares, okay?
20:08Last night, I went down on a woman while her husband sobbed beside me, okay?
20:12I can do anything.
20:13Billy, no.
20:13Okay.
20:14Hey, Billy.
20:14Hey.
20:15No.
20:15I'll just marry him.
20:16What the fuck?
20:17Samir.
20:18He's my guy, okay?
20:19I, he cooks my meals, he remembers my passwords, he lives in my house, okay?
20:23Let's just do this.
20:24Hey, guys.
20:25Samir, well, you're not even gay, so.
20:27So, I've seen it.
20:28I can get there.
20:29Hey, guys, no.
20:31Super sweet that you want to do this, but if Issa can't marry me, then that's that.
20:34I'm leaving the country.
20:35Well, she totally can, though.
20:36Oh.
20:37No, no, no.
20:38I divorced her this morning.
20:39Oh!
20:41Fuck.
20:42What?
20:43Shit.
20:44Fuck.
20:45Oh, oh, and that is the bride.
20:47Oh.
20:48You have four minutes.
20:49Hi, Paul Baker.
20:49It's my sweetie.
20:50Thank you.
20:50Hi.
20:51Hi.
20:51Uh, okay, so, I actually lied about, like, a lot, actually.
20:57Yes.
20:57I was married when I proposed to you to a nightmare twink named Zach Carlos.
21:01Hi, Zach Carlos.
21:03And I...
21:03You were married?
21:05Yeah.
21:05The whole time?
21:06Mm-hmm.
21:08And all of you guys knew?
21:09Yeah, we knew.
21:10Yeah.
21:10His name.
21:11Yeah.
21:12Yeah, they knew.
21:13Going back, you know, we probably wouldn't have lied as much, but it was just because we
21:16thought we could pull it off.
21:17Pull it off?
21:18Pull it off?
21:19This is my life.
21:21This is life.
21:21Yeah, you could have just talked to me.
21:23Just talk.
21:24Look, we all love you.
21:25We just want you to stay, so literally any of us would marry you.
21:29Yeah, we would.
21:30Yeah, and I love you, Paul Barker.
21:32Zach Carlos, I swear to God.
21:33Paul Baker, you choose.
21:35What do you want?
21:36Yeah.
21:51Okay, wait, can I have some cake?
21:52No, I want this one.
21:53I'll trade you.
21:54Mm.
21:54Oh, okay.
21:55Oh, you watching a movie?
21:57Mm.
21:58That suit.
21:59I may not be a bride, but I'm gonna fuck a groom tonight.
22:02Okay.
22:03Wait, wait, wait.
22:03You have to sit next to your literal spouse.
22:05Oh, yeah.
22:06Oh, yeah.
22:07Okay.
22:08Come on.
22:08Okay, okay.
22:09Don't get rude.
22:20Thank you for marrying me.
22:21Of course.
22:22It was nothing.
22:22It's marriage.
22:24It was something.
22:26Wait, you guys never had your kiss.
22:27Oh, my God.
22:29You have to.
22:30Guys, come on.
22:31Guys, come on.
22:31Kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss.
22:32You don't need to do that.
22:34You don't have to.
22:34Kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss.
22:38Come on.
22:39Bigger than that.
22:40You're not gonna get cooties.
22:41Kiss.
22:41Fine.
22:43Okay.
22:44Kiss.
22:44For real.
22:45Kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss.
22:59Kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss.
23:01You just kissed.
23:05Should we watch a movie?
23:06Yeah.
23:07Yes.
23:07We need to watch a movie right now.
23:09Let's do it.
23:09100%.
23:14Okay, someone throw out a movie.
23:18Oh, um...
23:22Oh, Conrad Edison.
23:25I could go off the deep end.
23:28I could kill all my best friends.
23:31I could follow those stylish trends.
23:33And God knows I could make amends.
23:36But I've got an angry heart
23:38filled with cancers and poppy tarts.
23:41If this is how you folks make art,
23:44it's fucking depressing.
23:47And it's sad to know
23:49that we are not alone.
23:52And it's sad to know
23:54there's no honest way out.
23:57I'm afraid to leave the house.
24:00I'm as timid as a mouse.
24:03I'm afraid if I go out,
24:05I'll outwear my welcome.
24:07Ha ha.
24:08Good a business.
24:13Good a business.
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