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مسلسل Baby Daddy مترجم - Episode 4
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00:02Oh, man, come on.
00:04I'm telling you, leaving Mom alone in our apartment every afternoon is a bad idea.
00:08Well, until you teach Emma to order in Chinese, somebody's got to feed her.
00:12Don't worry, you won't even know Mom was here.
00:14Too late. Yesterday she found time to go through my nightstand and tidy up my protection center.
00:21Your mom organized your love drawer?
00:25Mom has this thing about boundaries.
00:27She has none.
00:32So, Captain Action, how much longer do you think your new lady friend is going to be in the shower?
00:37Okay, if I'm late, Vanessa will have my head in a jar.
00:40Really? Just your head?
00:43I thought the plan was to break up with Vanessa.
00:45I tried.
00:47Not using actual words.
00:50Man, I did think it really hard, though.
00:53Mom also baby-proofed all the cabinets. I'm telling you, bad idea.
00:57But we need her to watch Emma, so we're going to have to make some adjustments.
01:00Good morning.
01:01Oh, like remembering to wear pants.
01:04So, how did my baby sleep?
01:07Pretty good.
01:08I meant Emma.
01:11How did she get in here?
01:12Oh, thanks for the key, honey. It's going to make this so much easier.
01:15You gave her a key?
01:19She gave me life.
01:23But yeah, I probably shouldn't have done that.
01:27It's amazing how the unexpected can take your life and change direction.
01:37What is the matter with you? You can't give Mom a key to our apartment.
01:40I mean, she can come in and out whenever she wants and do whatever.
01:42Mom, where are you going?
01:43To wash my hands.
01:44Oh, use the kitchen.
01:45Why? What's wrong with the bathroom?
01:46We're having some trouble with the door. It's stuck.
01:51Mom, we must have to be here for another five hours.
01:53Oh, I know. I'm sorry, but Emma and I had so much fun yesterday that I signed us up for
01:59a grandma in me class.
02:00Well, actually, it's a mommy in me class, but come on. I mean...
02:07And today, it is ballerina tutu day.
02:13Oh, this just reminds me of how badly I want a little girl.
02:17I swear, I must have cried for two days after I saw your penis on the ultrasound.
02:24It really has no boundaries.
02:27Granted, you really had to look for it, but once I found it...
02:32Still working on the door.
02:34Maybe I'll just go hose off out back.
02:38You know, Mom, the mornings are kind of my only time with Emma.
02:43I told her that we were going to go to the park and...
02:45Well, honey, she's a baby. She doesn't even know what a park is.
02:49Mom...
02:49You don't have to say it. You're welcome.
02:54I just know if we all pull together, we will do right by that little girl.
02:59Now, where is my little pumpkin?
03:03Oh, and Danny, let that poor woman out of the bathroom.
03:09I think Emma's a little young to see her first booty call.
03:16And here's another good thing about having Mom watch Emma.
03:19More bro time.
03:21Get the key.
03:23Who's the nozzle talking to Riley?
03:25Law school buddy. They've been hitting the books pretty hard lately.
03:28Looks like he's interested in hitting more than the books.
03:31You think?
03:33Well, good for Riley, right?
03:36Wrong.
03:38Thank you, counselor.
03:40I look forward to our next sidebar.
03:42I wouldn't object to that.
03:44Ooh.
03:53Oh, hey, Danny.
03:54Hey.
03:55Ah, you just missed my friend Jack.
03:57I've been tutoring him.
03:59In what?
04:00Blushing?
04:01Flirting?
04:01Hair flipping?
04:03Okay, it's a lot harder than it looks.
04:07But he's kind of cute, right?
04:09That isn't really the kind of guy you like, is it?
04:11Fancy-ass lawyer or wannabe?
04:13Well, since smooth-talking bartenders don't really seem to be interested.
04:18Yeah, I'm looking elsewhere.
04:20Then maybe you should keep looking.
04:22Why do you care if I like Jack?
04:23I don't care.
04:24Why would I care?
04:26But maybe someone else cares.
04:28And what kind of message is that to send them?
04:30Those people who care.
04:33Okay.
04:34Well, I'll keep that in mind.
04:36Thanks.
04:43Would any of those people who care happen to be in this bar?
04:48Maybe.
04:50So you're saying that this person might actually be interested?
04:54He might be.
04:55So I should stop flirting with Jack?
04:58That one's a definite yes.
05:02Message received.
05:03Thank you, Danny.
05:06Oh, hey, Tuck.
05:07Oh, hey.
05:14How long were you there?
05:16Long enough.
05:18So.
05:23I'm curious.
05:25Okay.
05:25See, I'm pretty sure that Ben's not really into Riley.
05:28So I wonder who at this bar is.
05:32It could be anyone.
05:34Anyone?
05:37Quit smiling.
05:39Oh, I don't think I'm ever going to quit smiling.
05:49Really?
05:50Again?
05:53You know, you might have a better shot with Riley if you didn't offer free showers to
05:57every girl on the Lower East Side.
05:59For the hundredth time, I don't like Riley.
06:03And whoever's in there, she isn't mine.
06:08Who's got Emma?
06:10Good morning.
06:11Oh, pajamas.
06:12Gotta get me some.
06:15Did you spend the night?
06:16Oh, don't be silly.
06:17I just know how early Emma wakes up, so I thought you might like to sleep in.
06:21Oh, and the drain's a little backed up.
06:23Sorry.
06:23I think some of my extensions might have come out.
06:28Oh, well, I better go pull them out of the drain before Ben gives them a key, too.
06:33And I'm late for the rink.
06:35Coach wants me to practice some of my key moves.
06:38Subtle.
06:40So, Mom, you're here awfully early.
06:43Again?
06:44Well, I have to be.
06:45You've seen the line for this shower.
06:51Well, I really didn't get to see her before she went to bed last night, and...
06:54Isn't it great she's on a schedule?
06:56Oh, terrific.
06:58But since I work in the afternoons when you oh-so-graciously offered to watch her for that
07:03oh-so-brief window of time, I assumed I'd see her in the mornings.
07:06And now you've got your mornings free.
07:09Oh, how I wish I had a me when I was raising you.
07:17Did I wish out of you that could take a hint?
07:22Did you say something, honey?
07:23Oh, no, Mom.
07:23No.
07:33And finally my day gets a little brighter.
07:35Oh, thank you.
07:37Something wrong?
07:38Ah, just my mom.
07:40Are you meeting Jack?
07:42No.
07:42No, why?
07:43Oh, you look a little dressed up.
07:45Three hours, every other afternoon, that's all I needed.
07:48Do you think that I'm going out with Jack because I'm not?
07:50Oh, too bad.
07:51I gave her a key, and now she's practically moved in.
07:53Why too bad?
07:54No, I just thought you guys looked good together.
07:56And I never get to see Emma.
07:57So you're saying I should go out with Jack?
07:59Why not?
07:59That's what I told Danny.
08:00That's what you told Danny?
08:01Yeah, but I can't talk to her.
08:02I've never been able to talk to her.
08:03But I have no choice.
08:04I just have to sit her down and lay out some boundaries, right?
08:06Not right.
08:07Why would he do that?
08:08Who?
08:08Danny.
08:09I meant my mom.
08:09So you think I should talk to her tonight?
08:11You can't.
08:12She has book club.
08:12Yes, my palms are starting to sweat.
08:14So, just so we're clear, you have no issues with me throwing myself at Jack.
08:18Actually, sounds like a pretty good idea.
08:19Most guys are fairly clueless.
08:21Yeah.
08:22I'm getting that.
08:26Hey, look.
08:27I know the last few days have been a little rough.
08:29So, I hope this free pony cake from the beer guy and some slightly expired meat from the
08:33bar kitchen will let you know how truly sorry I am.
08:35Hey, I'm just glad you got rid of mom.
08:37Wish I could have heard that go down.
08:42You did talk to her, right?
08:46How good do those steaks smell?
08:49Like they're trying to change the subject.
08:52I can't believe you can't stand up to your own mother.
08:56Oh, can't we not go five minutes without talking?
09:00Hey, Vanessa.
09:02Oh, I miss you too.
09:06Tucker's right, bro.
09:08Does that minivan look familiar to you?
09:11Mom!
09:12Go!
09:18Get the bag!
09:19Okay.
09:20All right.
09:35Emma!
09:36Look what your grandma brought you.
09:39It's a bunny the size of your daddy's roommate.
09:51Thank God you're home.
09:52No phone, no wallet.
09:53We really had nowhere else to go.
09:55What's going on?
09:56Is everything okay?
09:56No.
09:57Mom showed up again.
09:58She's got to learn that.
09:59She can't just barge in unannounced and ruin our evening.
10:02Oh, so you're teaching her a lesson by barging in unannounced and ruining my evening.
10:06Exactly.
10:07No, I mean, it's not like you have any plans, right?
10:10Hey, what's with the wine?
10:13And the candles.
10:15And the cleavage.
10:19Oh, hey!
10:21Jack!
10:22Jack Parker.
10:23I go to school with...
10:23And the man in your bathroom.
10:26Jack, Danny, Danny, Jack, Jack, Ben, Ben, Jack.
10:30They're just old friends who stop by to show off their new baby.
10:32Oh, you're such a cute baby.
10:33Okay, thanks so much.
10:34Bye.
10:35Bye.
10:35So, you threw yourself at him after all, huh?
10:37Glad to see you took my advice.
10:39You're welcome, counselor.
10:42Don't pay attention to anything that Ben says because he's crazy.
10:45New baby, doesn't get a lot of sleep, you know?
10:47Here, here, have some cheese.
10:48Wine and cheese?
10:49Are you coming on to me?
10:51Stand by.
10:53Did you hear that?
10:55Ben's advice?
10:56Hey, man, really sorry for messing up the obligatory small talk portion of the evening,
11:00but I just got to change a diaper.
11:02And feed her.
11:03Don't forget, we need to feed her.
11:04Is that okay?
11:05Fine.
11:06Just be quick, please.
11:07Oh, I won't even know we're here.
11:10This is exactly why I need to be here.
11:12I'm gone for two seconds, and they've got Emma out past her bedtime,
11:16God knows where, doing God knows what.
11:18Hi, Ben.
11:19I'm trapped with your mom.
11:24Where are you?
11:25I hate you.
11:28Call me.
11:30Do you expect me to believe that you don't know where they are?
11:32Know how you can tell?
11:33If I did, I'd be with them.
11:37Well, until you dig up some information, it's just you, me, and the clock.
11:41Tick-tock, Tucker.
11:44Wow.
11:45I really wish I could hang around, but you know what?
11:48I was just on the phone with Vanessa before you got here, which is totally true.
11:52And, um, she said she'd like me to come on over, so...
11:55Haven't you broken up with her yet?
11:59How do you know about...
11:59Oh, everyone knows.
12:02Well, maybe I'll do it tonight.
12:04Let me give you a little advice, tuck-a-doodle-doo.
12:10All women really want to hear is the truth.
12:13We can take it.
12:15We're tough.
12:17Look at me.
12:18You can tell me anything.
12:21I still don't know where they are.
12:23Boom!
12:26As soon as she wakes up, we're out of here, I swear.
12:28Oh, well, what are we waiting for?
12:29Wake her up.
12:32How was I supposed to know you were on a date?
12:34Oh, I'm sorry.
12:35Next time, I'll put a sock on the door.
12:38So, you and Riley, what's that about?
12:41Nothing yet, but she's smart and funny and obviously very attractive.
12:46You should have seen her in high school.
12:48She was ginormous.
12:50Hey, Riles, you got a copy of your yearbook around here?
12:52I don't think so.
12:52What is the matter with you?
12:54I'm just checking him out to make sure he's good enough for you.
12:56Well, how about I do the inspection and get back to you?
13:02Look, I know you're terrified of talking to your mom, but just be honest.
13:06Tell her the truth.
13:08That's really all any girl wants to hear.
13:14I was kind of afraid to tell you this, but...
13:16Emma threw up on your comforter.
13:20No, no, no, V, baby.
13:21I'm just saying, I think we need to talk.
13:25No, no, no, I'm just...
13:26No, no, we've just been really...
13:29If you could just let me speak...
13:30Oh, for the love of God, give me that.
13:33Vanessa, honey?
13:34Hi, Bonnie Wheeler.
13:35Ben and Danny's mom.
13:36Real quick, Tucker is breaking up with you.
13:38Bye-bye.
13:41Done.
13:46What did you just...
13:47Oh, my God, I can't believe you just...
13:51You did it.
13:54I'm free.
13:57That was amazing.
13:59I know.
14:01And who said having you around was a bad idea?
14:06Oh, man.
14:08I don't know, Tucker.
14:10Who did?
14:13You know, track isn't a real sport, right?
14:18Well, I got a wall full of ribbons that beg to differ.
14:21Ribbons?
14:22Do you keep next to your headbands and scrunchies?
14:27Danny, stop talking.
14:30I wish there was a way to find out if she's still there.
14:33There is.
14:34Go home.
14:36No, that sounds a little risky.
14:39All right.
14:40Let me put this for you another way.
14:42Get out of my apartment and go talk to your mom.
14:45You know what?
14:46Um, I should probably go.
14:49You don't even know our mom.
14:52You know what, Chuck?
14:54That is a good idea.
14:55You should go.
14:56Ouch.
14:56Don't know how much clearer that could be.
14:58Sorry it didn't work out between you two.
15:00I meant I'm going with him.
15:02So, uh, just lock the door when you leave.
15:04All right?
15:05Bye.
15:09He seemed nice.
15:12I can't believe that's all I had to do.
15:14Hey, yo, Vanessa, it's over.
15:16Click.
15:18Don't call me because I so won't be calling you.
15:20Click.
15:20Like, did they really say that they don't want me around?
15:24Who cares what they said?
15:26In my book, you are awesome.
15:28Oh, it's Vanessa.
15:29What have you done, woman?
15:32I'm not here.
15:40Oh, hi, Riley.
15:43Officer.
15:45Your sons and Emma are in my apartment hiding out.
15:48So maybe you can settle this so I can have my place back?
15:51They're hiding out?
15:53From me?
15:57Well, I think they're about to be found.
16:06Care for a retrial, counselor?
16:09Permission to approach the bench.
16:16Mom, please, I can explain.
16:18All right, go ahead.
16:19No, didn't think so.
16:28Are you just giving keys to everyone now?
16:30What are you doing?
16:32Just trying to have the worst date ever.
16:34Oh, look, it's working.
16:36Where were you guys?
16:38Tucker, how long have you been there?
16:41Long enough.
16:43I'll put Emma to bed, and then you can all return to your regularly scheduled depravity.
16:48I can put her down.
16:49Oh, oh, right.
16:51Don't need grandma's help anymore.
16:53I get it.
16:54No, Mom, that's not what I'm saying.
16:55Then what are you saying?
16:58Ben, just tell your mom how you feel.
17:04Danny?
17:08Hooker?
17:10Oh, we're actually cool.
17:13Okay, well, this is going nowhere, so let's try something different.
17:17All right, gather around.
17:22Okay, well, this is something we just learned in our mediation class for settling disputes.
17:26I just need to find something to use as a truth totem.
17:29We didn't learn that in mediation.
17:31Okay, so I learned it at fat camp.
17:33Fat camp?
17:34Told ya.
17:36All right, this will be our truth rattle.
17:40Or not, all right.
17:41Um, so whoever's holding the truth baby has to tell the truth.
17:46And since Ben is conveniently holding our totem...
17:49Ben?
17:50Oh, for crying out loud.
17:52Just spit it out.
17:53You can tell me anything.
17:54You're overbearing and rude, and I want my key and my baby back.
18:06Wow.
18:07No one is ever that truthful at fat camp.
18:15Mom, wait!
18:17Ow!
18:17Good.
18:23What?
18:23First you throw me out, and now you lock me in?
18:25Make up your mind, Ben.
18:27Mom, please.
18:30Look, I know I should have just told you the truth from the beginning.
18:32That you don't want me around?
18:34No, you don't understand.
18:36We just need some space.
18:37We have our guy stuff that we like to do.
18:40Like sit around in your underwear playing video games while strange women flounce in and out?
18:45So you do understand.
18:49I'm annoyed because everyone keeps forgetting that this is my apartment.
18:55And would it kill you to refill an ice cube tray?
18:58Is that all you got?
18:59My big list is in the other room.
19:03Okay.
19:04All right.
19:04Come here.
19:06Truth.
19:07My friends are idiots, and I really wish we could start tonight over.
19:13Not idiots.
19:15Just suspicious.
19:17I truly don't trust this guy.
19:20Denny's right.
19:21I lied.
19:22I didn't really need tutoring.
19:25I just wanted to get to know you better.
19:28I kind of knew that.
19:30Wait.
19:31He wasn't holding the baby.
19:35Mom, you know I couldn't do this without you.
19:38But I need to be the one raising Emma.
19:40I need help, not a replacement.
19:44Is that what you think?
19:47I never meant to replace you.
19:50I just came to the city every day and spent every moment with Emma and did all the things
19:54with her that you probably wanted to do with her.
20:00Basically replacing you.
20:03Yeah.
20:04That's what I was doing.
20:06Oh.
20:07Ben, I'm so sorry.
20:09It's okay.
20:11We just need to set some boundaries.
20:13It was like in high school when he had to learn to knock before he came into my room.
20:16Well, you only got to walk in on that ten or twelve times before you learn your lesson.
20:21I guess I should give you this back.
20:26You already made a copy, didn't you?
20:28Oh, my baby knows me so well.
20:36Really, Riley?
20:38Get a room.
20:40Believe me, we are trying.
20:45Finger tracks in the peanut butter.
20:48Toenails on the floor.
20:50Two words.
20:52Hairy soap.
20:53Okay.
20:55Can we be done?
20:56Oh, yeah, sure.
20:58We can be done.
20:58If you want to start talking about Riley.
21:01Continue.
21:02Exactly.
21:03Okay.
21:03Using towels as bath mats.
21:05Using bath mats as towels.
21:06Taking any of my shampoos, conditioners, ointments, lotions, powders, or pomades, okay?
21:12Muddy shoes, sweaty gym bags, and never having your own gum.
21:17Is that it?
21:18What do you think?
21:19No.
21:37I think I am so Shakira.
21:45You.
21:49Do you enjoy the,growth, of the murdered.
21:52How do you know what?
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